History Main / IdTellYouButThenIdHaveToKillYou

* In one of the {{the Witcher}} books, Geralt finds himself present during a sorcerous putsch, and the putchists capture him. Asking the leader what's going on, he is told sarcastically,

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* Played with in one episode of ''{{CSI NY}}''. During the {{Cold Open}} Adam is talking to a girl via webcam, using some fictional form of ChatRoulette. He asks her something - can't remember quite what - and she responds with this phrase...at which point [[spoiler: the murderer sneaks up behind her and kills ''her'' right in front of Adam, kicking off the {{Mystery of the Week}}.]]

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* ''{{Paranoia}}'': one suggested variant on "That information is outside your security clearance" is...well, this trope.

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* WeirdAlYankovic's ode to EspionageTropes, "Party in the CIA": "Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you, / I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you."

* Seen in Webcomic/SweetBroAndHellaJeff:
-->[[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=009.jpg GOD. DAAAAAAMMNN]].

* StarTrekDeepSpaceNine: A scene between Weyoun, Damar, and Damar's lady friend, in the war room.

* ''TheWestWing'': Season 7- Ep. 10 ''Running Mates'' (00:23:42 on the time bar), communications officer Will Bailey applauds deputy national security advisor Kate Harper for ''not'' using the line. (He also mentions how alluring he finds the fact that she actually ''could'' kill him with her bare hands...)

* ''{{Psych}}'' episode "Poker? I Barely Know Her"

* ''{{Stargate SG-1}}'' uses a variant where an offhand comment is made about O'Neill's time of service and the possibility of writing a book about it. Due to much of his duty even before joining the SGC consisted of top secret operations, he jokes that he'd have to kill anyone who read it.
* ''TheColbertReport'' is going to the Persian Gulf, but exactly when or where it will be has been sworn to secrecy by the Pentagon.

* On ''{{NCIS}}'', when Kate finds out that Tony knows her new boyfriend:

* Played with in one episode of ''{{CSINY}}''. During the {{Cold Open}} Adam is talking to a girl via webcam, using some fictional form of ChatRoulette. He asks her something - can't remember quite what - and she responds with this phrase...at which point [[spoiler: the murderer sneaks up behind her and kills ''her'' right in front of Adam, kicking off the {{Mystery of the Week}}.]]

* ''BuffyTheVampireSlayer:'' from the episode ''Inca Mummy Girl:''

* From TheThreeMusketeers, [[spoiler:Athos]]: "Because I am believed to be dead, and have reasons for wishing nobody to know I am living; so that I shall be obliged to kill you to prevent my secret from roaming over the fields."

-->[Damar leaves]

* StarTrekDeepSpaceNine: A scene between Weyoun, Damar, and Damar's lady friend, in the war room. Weyoun: "I have news." Damar: "Well?" W: "Your ''friend'' doesn't want to hear this." D: "And why doesn't my friend want to hear this?" W: "Because if she did I would be forced to have her executed." After she leaves, somewhat snarkily, Weyoun comments, "What a pleasant woman."

* Seen in SweetBroAndHellaJeff:

* In one ''ElGoonishShive'' strip Justin [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2010-11-29 worries]] that Mr Verres may have to kill him over things he's ''already'' told him.

-> '''Doctor:''' Oh, Mr. Holmes, I would love to tell you, but then, of course, I'd have to kill you.
-> '''Sherlock:''' That would be [[BadassBoast tremendously ambitious of you]].
->--{{Sherlock}}, 'The Hounds of Baskerville'

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* [[WebOriginal/BumReviews Chester A. Bum]] admits that he's Super-Bum. He then says that since he's told you, he'll have to kill you.

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* ''{{Paranoia}}'': one suggested variant on "That information is outside your security clearance" is...well, this trope.
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* [[BumReviews Chester A. Bum]] admits that he's Super-Bum. He then says that since he's told you, he'll have to kill you.

See the Supercut Mashup trailer of this line being said a bunch in films: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuE_jqYNi3c

-> Doctor: Oh, Mr. Holmes, I would love to tell you, but then, of course, I'd have to kill you.
-> Sherlock: That would be tremendously ambitious of you.

* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' had [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070115 an unusual variation]].

* In ''TheSentinel'', when Jim and Blair go on a classified mission, Blair goes into a discussion about how police departments indoctrinate their members like a cult--Jim jokingly agrees, and says that, now that he's told Blair about it, he "''will'' be required to kill you."

* ''{{Discworld}}'': Vetinari (then a young assassin) in ''Discworld/NightWatch'' -- "I'd tell you but then I'd have to find someone to pay me to kill you."

* [[spoiler:Loki]] says this in ''AmericanGods'' - the Fat Kid [[GenreBlindness naturally]] [[SarcasticConfession assumes he's kidding]]. When the kid replies that yes, he really does want to know... he tells him. [[SubvertedTrope And then he kills him]].

-> Sherlock: That would be very ambitious of you.

* Referenced in {{KimPossible}}. A soldier working on a top secret project blurts out "Neutronalizer" during Wade's briefing. Mr. Dr. Possible asks "This isn't one of those, 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you' sort of things is it?'

* Referenced in KimPossible. A solider working on a top secret project blurts out "Neutronalizer" during Wade's briefing. Mr.Dr.Possible asks "This isn't one of those, 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you' sort of things is it?'

* StarTrekDeepSpaceNine: A scene between Weyoun, Damar, and Damar's lady friend, in the war room. Weyoun: "I have news." Damar: "Well?" W: "Your ''friend'' doesn't want to hear this." D: "And why doesn't my friend want to hear this?" W: "Because if she did I would be forced to have her executed." After she leaves, somewhat snarkily, Weyound comments, "What a pleasant woman."

* In ''{{Jake 2.0}}'', Jake's younger brother steals Jake's wallet and goes to a bar. A girl notices the [=NSA=] ID, so the brother starts pretending to be a spy. He starts saying this phrase, and she finishes it off, annoyed at the chiche. He corrects her that he'd have to sleep with her, "but if that's your thing..."

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