History Main / DifferingPrioritiesBreakup

* ''WesternAnimation/PocahontasIIJourneyToANewWorld:'' Pocahontas realizes that she just wants to return to Virginia, while John Smith wants to continue exploring the world. Which is kind of convenient, since she's also [[AccidentalAdultery fallen for John Rolfe while she thought John Smith was dead]].

* Reversed in the Sam Raimi Film/SpiderManTrilogy. Though Peter and MJ do eventually get together, differing priorities -- particularly in the flavor of "ComesGreatResponsibility" -- are part of what keeps them apart for the first two films; and, indeed, MJ can only begin serious romantic overtures with Peter ''after'' she becomes his SecretKeeper.

* ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': Harry Dresden spends twelve books playing WillTheyOrWontThey with Karrin Murphy. Both of them are attracted to each other, they're close allies, and Harry at least erupts with jealousy whenever he sees Murphy with anyone else. But Harry wants someone to settle down with, while Murphy's not in a place in her life for anything beyond casual encounters. They finally come to a decision, and [[spoiler:barely two minutes before TheyDo someone [[ShootTheShaggyDog puts a bullet in Harry's chest]].]]

* ''Series/TheUnit'': In the Season 1 episode “Eating the Young”, Hector Williams’s girlfriend breaks up with him when he reveals to her that he is in Spec Ops, and not a Logistics Clerk as implied by his official Army cover. She wants someone who can have a viable career outside the Army, so she doesn’t see a future with someone whose only skill is “gunfighter”.
* ''Series/{{JAG}}'': Harm’s girlfriend Navy psychologist LCDR Jordan Parker breaks up with him when he gets his night vision fixed and regains full flight status. She says she “fell in love with the lawyer, not a fighter pilot who goes to sea and leaves her for six months”.

* In ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017'', Scrooge and Goldie have [[SlapSlapKiss great chemistry]], all the same interests, and the same obsession with treasure. As with so many relationships, theirs is ruined by the details; Goldie only cares about [[AffablyEvil achieving her ends]], while Scrooge is [[MrViceGuy concerned with the means]].
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', this is seemingly the cause of Leela's LeavingYouToFindMyself moment in Season 6 finale "Overclockwise." She has ambitions beyond her dead-end job at Planet Express and wants to understand where her [[RelationshipRevolvingDoor on-and-off relationship with Fry]] is heading, while Fry likes the job and is content to take life as it comes, although he's clear that he wants to be with Leela forever. [[spoiler:The problem is solved by the end of the episode when Bender, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who's received some insight into their future]], gives them a written trajectory of how their life together will play out; we don't get to see it, but their reactions make it clear that they're both very much on board with his prediction.]]

-->'''Vanessa:''' Was one of those things "to be evil"? [[NotHyperbole Because he's evil]].

Alice and Bob are at a crossroads. They've sat down and talked about HappilyEverAfter -- namely, how each of them ''defines'' a "Happily Ever After" -- and discovered that their definitions are mutually exclusive. It's not just that their ideas are different, it's that they're ''contradictory'': Alice's idea of happiness would result in an AwfulWeddedLife for Bob, or vice versa. So now they have a decision to make: they can either stay together a few more years and then break up, or they can break up now and avoid wasting their time. And... they choose the latter. These types of breakups tend to be especially tragic since neither partner actually wants to part right now, but they both know that LoveCannotOvercome such glaring differences.

# Finances -- one of them is MoneyDumb, or RichInDollarsPoorInSense; or there's a PennyAmongDiamonds situation that can't be resolved.

# OppositesAttract just doesn't work out as advertised. UptightLovesWild, sure, but that doesn't mean they want to live with a WalkingDisasterArea for the rest of their lives, or put up with unrelenting BritishStuffiness forever either.

* In ''Series/Supergirl2015'', Alex and Maggie are on the verge of getting married when they realize that while Maggie doesn't want kids, Alex does. Alex decides to give up on having kids for the relationship, but then when she and Kara [[HonoraryUncle go to Samantha's daughter's recital]] she realizes she can't make that sacrifice.

# Opinions on marriage -- one of them has OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions whereas the other likes the old ways.

# Religion -- one of them has specific ideas about religious beliefs that the other doesn't share.
# Finances -- one of them is MoneyDumb and had AesopAmnesia about the CreditCardEpisode.
# Politics -- maybe one of them is ANaziByAnyOtherName.
# OppositesAttract just doesn't work out as advertised. UptightLovesWild, sure, but that doesn't mean they want to live with a WalkingDisasterArea for the rest of their lives.

Alice and Bob are at a crossroads. They've sat down and talked about HappilyEverAfter -- namely, how each of them ''defines'' a "Happily Ever After" -- and discovered that their definitions are mutually exclusive. It's not just that their ideas are different, it's that they're ''contradictory'': Alice's idea of happiness would result in an AwfulWeddedLife for Bob, or vice versa. So now they have a decision to make: they can either stay together a few more years and then break up, or they can break up now and avoid wasting their time. And... they choose the latter. These types of breakups tend to be especially tragic since neither partner actually wants to part right now, but they both know it will be better in the long term.

There are multiple personality conflicts that can cause a Differing Priorities Breakup:
# Alice wants to eventually get married but Bob doesn't so they break up.
# Bob wants to have kids with his wife Alice but she doesn't, so they divorce.
# Alice wants to raise children in a specific religious style; Bob doesn't.
# Bob has different ideas about financial practices than Alice does.
# Bob and Alice have radically different political views (for instance, one of them being ANaziByAnyOtherName).

# Bob and Alice have radically different political views (for instance, one of them being a NaziByAnyOtherName).

Alice and Bob are at a crossroads. Alice has recently come out and admitted she eventually wants to settle down, get married, and have kids, while Bob doesn't want to be tied down in life. So now they have a decision to make: they can either stay together a few more years and then break up, or they can break up now and avoid wasting their time. They choose the latter. It's not that they no longer love each other, but they both know that if one of them gets their way the other will be unhappy. And thus they part.

This trope has many different forms, but the gist is that two romantic partners break up because they both want different things out of life. Three variants are most common:

# The above options overlap.

These types of breakups tend to be especially tragic since neither partner actually wants to part right now, but they both know it will be better in the long term.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', this is seemingly the cause of Leela's LeavingYouToFindMyself moment in Season 6 finale "Overclockwise." She has ambitions beyond her dead-end job at Planet Express and wants to understand where her [[RelationshipRevolvingDoor on-and-off relationship with Fry]] is heading, while Fry likes the job and is content to take life as it comes, although he's clear that he wants to be with Leela forever. [[spoiler:The problem is solved by the end of the episode when Bender, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who's received some insight into their future]], gives them a written trajectory of how their life together will play out; we don't get to see it, but their reactions make it clear that they're both on board with his prediction.]]

-->'''Vanessa:''' Was one of those things "to be evil"? Because he's evil.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', this is seemingly the cause of Leela's LeavingYouToFindMyself moment in Season 6 finale "Overclockwise." She has ambitions beyond her dead-end job at Planet Express and wants to understand where her [[RelationshipRevolvingDoor on-and-off relationship with Fry]] is heading, while Fry likes the job and is content to take life as it comes, although he's clear that he wants Leela to be a part of his life forever—he's just too dense to know what form that should take. [[spoiler:The problem is solved by the end of the episode when Bender, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who's received some insight into their future]], gives them a written trajectory of how their life together will play out; we don't get to see it, but their reactions make it clear that they're both on board with his prediction.]]

* In the fourth and final story of [[Franchise/HarryPotter ''The Anguis Series'']], ''Beyond This Place'', it is revealed that [[spoiler:Cal and Nat]] had broke up due to the vastly different demands of their careers and lifestyle. Quite an anticlimatic end for a couple who had spent almost the entirety of their relationship proving their love and even sacrificing their freedom, friendships, and safety for the sake of the other.

* Reversed in the Sam Raimi Film/SpiderManTrilogy. Though Peter and MJ do eventually get together, differing priorities -- particularly in the flavor of "ComesGreatResponsibility" -- are part of what keep them apart for the first two films; and, indeed, MJ can only begin serious romantic overtures with Peter ''after'' she becomes his SecretKeeper.

'''Robin:''' Where do you see ''yourself'' in five years?\\

Compare LoveCannotOvercome, CreativeDifferences, MarriedToTheJob, ItsNotYouItsMe and ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies. SisterTrope to the WetBlanketWife, who has priorities her husband doesn't.

->'''Ted:''' Where do you see yourself in five years?\\

* In ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', this happens with Rachel, Luke's FalseSoulmate from before the pilot episode. Despite being truly in love, Rachel's flighty and impulsive nature left her unable to commit to Luke. As a result, Luke doesn't have another serious girlfriend for years until her starts dating his SecondLove Lorelai.

* In ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', this happens with Rachel, Luke's FalseSoulmate. Despite being truly in love, Rachel's flighty and impulsive nature left her unable to commit to Luke. As a result, Luke doesn't have another serious girlfriend until her starts dating his SecondLove Lorelai.

** Rachel breaks up with her 24-year-old assistant Tag. On Rachel's thirtieth birthday, she realizes it's time for her to get together with the man she'd marry, who certainly isn't Tag.

Compare LoveCannotOvercome, CreativeDifferences, ItsNotYouItsMe and ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies. SisterTrope to the WetBlanketWife, who has priorities her husband doesn't.

* In ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManIntoTheSpiderVerse'', Peter B. Parker of Earth-616 got divorced from [[ComicBook/MaryJaneWatson Mary Jane]] because she wanted kids and he had commitment issues-

* In ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManIntoTheSpiderVerse'', this was why Peter B. Parker of Earth-616 got divorced from [[ComicBook/MaryJaneWatson Mary Jane]].

* In ''Literature/LittleWomen'' this is one reason why Jo refuses Laurie:

* [[Literature/TheDresdenFiles Harry Dresden]] spends twelve books playing WillTheyOrWontThey with Karrin Murphy. Both of them are attracted to each other, they're close allies, and Harry at least erupts with jealousy whenever he sees Murphy with anyone else. But Harry wants someone to settle down with, while Murphy's not in a place in her life for anything beyond casual encounters. They finally come to a decision, and [[spoiler:barely two minutes before TheyDo someone [[ShootTheShaggyDog puts a bullet in Harry's chest]].]]

** In season nine, Phoebe and her boyfriend Mike decide to move in together, but then she learns he never wants to get married again after his messy divorce. She initially decides she is okay with it but breaks up with him after realizing she really does want to get married.

*** A few months later Mike decides there is no reason good enough to keep him from spending her life with her and asks for her to take him back, this time with marriage on the table. [[spoiler:She does, and they marry a few episodes before the GrandFinale.]]
** This was also the impetus for Ross to break up with Elizabeth, his former student. While she was fun to be with, Ross realized that the two of them were at very different stages in their lives and there just wasn't a future there.
** A similar situation happenes in season seven with Rachel and her 24-year-old assistant Tag. On Rachel's thirtieth birthday, she realizes it's time for her to get together with the man she'd marry, who certainly isn't Tag.

** This is why Ted and Robin break up. Ted actually knew Robin didn't want to get married, but on their anniversary Robin freaked out when she thought Ted was proposing to her, forcing them to reevaluate their relationship and ultimately admit they can't keep postponing confronting the fact they can never be happy together in the long term.

* ''Series/TheOfficeUS'': Towards to beginning of the series, Jan Levinson went through a messy divorce from her husband who refused to have children with her. According to her, they both got married knowing they had different ideas about family but figured the other would change their mind.

** A similar situation happened in season seven with Rachel and her 24-year-old assistant Tag. On Rachel's thirtieth birthday, she realized it was time for her to get together with the man she'd marry, who certainly wasn't Tag.

** Richard, Monica's last serious boyfriend before marrying Chandler, broke up with her because she wanted children. Richard is twenty years older than her and already has two adult children and says he doesn't want to be in his seventies when he and Monica's kids go off to college and their life can finally begin. He eventually tells Monica he's willing to have kids with her if that's what it takes to keep her, but she says she doesn't want to have kids with someone who doesn't also want kids.