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* Drip coffee, even if it's pretty all right to begin with, becomes this very quickly if you let the pot sit on the coffee maker's hot plate. Good coffee should be consumed immediately after brewing and never reheated.

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* Drip coffee, even if it's pretty all right to begin with, becomes this very quickly if you let the pot sit on the coffee maker's coffeemaker's hot plate. Good coffee should be consumed immediately after brewing and never reheated.


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* Another factor that contributes to this trope is the freshness of the roast. Green (unroasted) coffee beans can be stored for years with no ill effect, but once they're roasted (giving them that familiar brown color), you've got about two weeks to brew them before they're considered stale. You see that "Roasted On" date clearly marked on that bag of coffee at the grocery store? [[SarcasmMode That's right, you don't]], because they don't want you knowing how long it's been sitting on the shelf or else no one would ever buy a bag more than two weeks old. If you want truly fresh coffee, you've got to find a reputable local roaster or else do your own roasting at home.
* Even worse is coffee that's pre-ground. You know that wonderful smell that wafts out of a bag of ground coffee? That's the taste of your coffee escaping into the air instead of going into your cup. For truly good coffee that averts this trope, you need to buy whole-bean coffee and grind it immediately before brewing.

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* Coffee made from percolators was said to fit this trope, especially if the coffee was allowed to brew for too long.

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* Coffee made from percolators was is said to fit this trope, especially if the coffee was is allowed to brew for too long.




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* Drip coffee, even if it's pretty all right to begin with, becomes this very quickly if you let the pot sit on the coffee maker's hot plate. Good coffee should be consumed immediately after brewing and never reheated.
* There are two main strains of the coffee plant: ''arabica'' and ''robusta''. ''Arabica'' is far more flavorful and slightly lower in caffeine content, whereas ''robusta'' is nearly flavorless and relatively high in caffeine. The latter is also, true to its name, more robust and able to be grown more easily and in more environments than ''arabica'', which prefers high elevations and shade. Thus, ''robusta'' coffee is much cheaper to grow, and is the main ingredient in cheap coffee blends and instant coffee, mixed with a small amount of ''arabica'' coffee for flavor. 100% ''arabica'' coffee-- the kind you get at any self-respecting coffee house-- is much tastier than a ''robusta'' blend (which you're likely to find on grocery store shelves, fast food places, and the break room at work) for this reason. And now you know.
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* In the BusterKeaton comedy short "The Navigator", a pampered heir tries to make coffee for the first time in his life; he uses ocean water. He adds a spoonful of sugar, tastes it- then dumps the entire container of sugar in his mug.

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* In the BusterKeaton Creator/BusterKeaton comedy short "The Navigator", a pampered heir tries to make coffee for the first time in his life; he uses ocean water. He adds a spoonful of sugar, tastes it- then dumps the entire container of sugar in his mug.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

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[[folder: Radio]]

* Happens on ''Radio/CabinPressure'':
-->'''Arthur:''' Here you are, skipper. Nice, hot cup of coffee.\\
'''Martin:''' ''[takes a sip]'' Ugh, it's cold!\\
'''Arthur:''' Nice cup of coffee.\\
'''Martin:''' It's horrible!\\
'''Arthur:''' Cup of coffee.\\
'''Martin:''' I'm not even sure it ''is'' coffee.\\
'''Arthur:''' Cup.

[[/folder]]
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* In [[http://sigeel.deviantart.com/art/49-taste-379577828 this]] page from ''Webcomic/BloodStain'', Elliot can barely drink Serge's coffee, but since she's a new employee she doesn't want to rock the boat, so she says that it's great.
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http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/blood_stain_urk_2338.jpg

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\n\n%% Image selected per Image Pickin' thread: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1390169348066721400
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[[quoteright:282:[[Webcomic/BloodStain
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/blood_stain_urk_2338.jpg
jpg]]]]
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->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\
'''Tommy:''' It ''is'' mud!\\
--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

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http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/blood_stain_urk_2338.jpg

->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\
'''Tommy:''' It ''is'' mud!\\
--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''
mud!
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''



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'''Examples:'''

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-----

'''Examples:'''

----
!!Examples:



* ''Series/{{Green Acres}}'': Possibly the first instance of this trope on a television series was in Green Acres. Eva Gabor's character, Lisa Douglas, was terrible at all things domestic and her coffee was no different. It would come out of the pot in a thick black sludge in many, many episodes much to her husband's dismay.

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* ''Series/{{Green Acres}}'': ''Series/GreenAcres'': Possibly the first instance of this trope on a television series was in Green Acres.series. Eva Gabor's character, Lisa Douglas, was terrible at all things domestic and her coffee was no different. It would come out of the pot in a thick black sludge in many, many episodes much to her husband's dismay.



* ''{{Series/Crusade}}'': In ''Visitors From Down The Street'', Captain Gideon laments the poor quality of what passes for coffee available aboard starships (it was established on ''Crusade's'' predecessor ''Series/BabylonFive'' that real coffee is prohibitively expensive to get off-world). He goes on to voice suspicions that they only caffeinate the stuff to mess with him, thus setting the ConspiracyTheorist tone for the episode.

to:

* ''{{Series/Crusade}}'': ''Series/{{Crusade}}'': In ''Visitors From Down The Street'', Captain Gideon laments the poor quality of what passes for coffee available aboard starships (it was established on ''Crusade's'' predecessor ''Series/BabylonFive'' that real coffee is prohibitively expensive to get off-world). He goes on to voice suspicions that they only caffeinate the stuff to mess with him, thus setting the ConspiracyTheorist tone for the episode.



* In the GURPS setting TranshumanSpace, "Martian coffee" is slang for "really bad coffee" (because of the poor water quality in the Martian colonies). The colonists tend to spice it very heavily to mitigate the taste.

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* In the GURPS TabletopGame/{{GURPS}} setting TranshumanSpace, ''TranshumanSpace'', "Martian coffee" is slang for "really bad coffee" (because of the poor water quality in the Martian colonies). The colonists tend to spice it very heavily to mitigate the taste.



* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'''s graphic novel "Start of Darkness", Xykon is something of a bad-coffee ''fan'', as drinking a really horrible cup of coffee reminds him of all the good coffee he can compare it to. He's infuriated when he tries his first coffee after becoming undead, and can't taste it at all, good or bad.

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* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
**
In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'''s the graphic novel "Start of Darkness", Xykon is something of a bad-coffee ''fan'', as drinking a really horrible cup of coffee reminds him of all the good coffee he can compare it to. He's infuriated when he tries his first coffee after becoming undead, and can't taste it at all, good or bad.



* Instant Coffee (brewed and then freeze-dried and packed) has a very strong reputation for this. Then again, if you find yourself needing instant coffee (i.e.: [[MustHaveCaffeine You need the coffee]], but lack the time or money for a properly brewed cup), then BeggarsCantBeChoosers.

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* Instant Coffee (brewed and then freeze-dried and packed) has a very strong reputation for this. Then again, if you find yourself needing instant coffee (i.e.: [[MustHaveCaffeine You you need the coffee]], but lack the time or money for a properly brewed cup), then BeggarsCantBeChoosers.


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* Instant Coffee (brewed and then freeze-dried and packed) has a very strong reputation for this. Then again, if you find yourself needing instant coffee (i.e.: You need the coffee, but lack the time or money for a properly brewed cup), then BeggarsCantBeChoosers.

to:

* Instant Coffee (brewed and then freeze-dried and packed) has a very strong reputation for this. Then again, if you find yourself needing instant coffee (i.e.: [[MustHaveCaffeine You need the coffee, coffee]], but lack the time or money for a properly brewed cup), then BeggarsCantBeChoosers.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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* In the GURPS setting TranshumanSpace, "Martian coffee" is slang for "really bad coffee" (because of the poor water quality in the Martian colonies). The colonists tend to spice it very heavily to mitigate the taste.

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* Instant Coffee (brewed and then freeze-dried and packed) has a very strong reputation for this. Then again, if you find yourself needing instant coffee (i.e.: You need the coffee, but lack the time or money for a properly brewed cup), then BeggarsCantBeChoosers.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


* ''{{Series/Crusade}}'': In ''Visitors From Down The Street'', Captain Gideon laments the poor quality of what passes for coffee available aboard starships (it was established on ''Crusade's'' predecessor ''{{Series/BabylonFive}}'' that real coffee is prohibitively expensive to get off-world). He goes on to voice suspicions that they only caffeinate the stuff to mess with him, thus setting the ConspiracyTheorist tone for the episode.

to:

* ''{{Series/Crusade}}'': In ''Visitors From Down The Street'', Captain Gideon laments the poor quality of what passes for coffee available aboard starships (it was established on ''Crusade's'' predecessor ''{{Series/BabylonFive}}'' ''Series/BabylonFive'' that real coffee is prohibitively expensive to get off-world). off-world). He goes on to voice suspicions that they only caffeinate the stuff to mess with him, thus setting the ConspiracyTheorist tone for the episode.

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to:

* ''{{Series/Crusade}}'': In ''Visitors From Down The Street'', Captain Gideon laments the poor quality of what passes for coffee available aboard starships (it was established on ''Crusade's'' predecessor ''{{Series/BabylonFive}}'' that real coffee is prohibitively expensive to get off-world). He goes on to voice suspicions that they only caffeinate the stuff to mess with him, thus setting the ConspiracyTheorist tone for the episode.

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* ''Literature/HoratioHornblower'' suffers from the problem of very finite coffee supplies at sea. Usually, what he gets to drink is burnt bread and hot water.



** And during a water shortage, Wojo tries a coffee substitute: hot Dr. Pepper.




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* Neelix liked to experiment with coffee in ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''. One first-season episode has him invent a glutinous "better-than-coffee substitute" that drives Janeway to redouble her search for energy supplies. During the "Year of Hell," he tries again with a concoction made of ration cubes.
-->'''[[TheStoic Seven]]:''' It is offensive. Fortunately, taste is irrelevant.
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* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'' has a running gag of the coffee in military headquarters being awful. And the one at the Northern HQ is not free.

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* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'' ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'' has a running gag of the coffee in military headquarters being awful. And the one at the Northern HQ is not free.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Version I know


--> Oh, the coffee in the army, they say it's mighty fine.
--> Looks like muddy water, tastes like turpentine!

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--> Oh, the The coffee in the army, they say it's mighty fine.
--> Looks like muddy water, It's good for cuts and bruises but tastes like turpentine!

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->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\

to:

->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\



--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

Good coffee can be really good, while bad coffee is Bad To The Last Drop. It might be very cheap and/or very poorly brewed coffee, or it can be ersatz substitutes for coffee that just don't make the grade.

To some extent, even good coffee is an acquired taste; many people load it up with cream and sugar when they first start drinking coffee for this reason. That's not this trope. This is when the stuff's so awful that if the drinker wasn't in the midst of a MustHaveCaffeine moment, it would be thrown out.

Sometimes subverted by coffee purists who argue that coffee ''should'' be cheap and poorly brewed, and call anyone invoking this trope on such beverages a snob.

The trope name is an allusion to the Maxwell House slogan "Good to the Last Drop".

While this trope most commonly features coffee, any bad non-alcoholic drink can go here. Bad alcoholic drinks should see the SisterTrope, ATankardOfMooseUrine. KlatchianCoffee may overlap with this, or simply be another Sister Trope. Descriptions of such beverages may be some variant of "ItTastesLikeFeet."
-----

'''Examples:'''

[[AC:Advertising]]
* A 1979 Yuban coffee commercial has a wife lamenting that her coffee is so bad, her husband "never has a second cup of coffee at home."
** Parodied in ''Film/{{Airplane}}''. "Jim never vomits at home..."

[[AC:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'' has a running gag of the coffee in military headquarters being awful. And the one at the Northern HQ is not free.
* ''Franchise/OnePiece'': In Ace's cover story, the Marines on their ship are complaining about the coffee being really bitter and all-around distasteful. (Adding milk, courtesy of one Marine officer's dairy farmer daughter, seems to improve the coffee ... which as noted above is TruthInTelevision.)
* In ''Anime/ZoidsChaoticCentury'', Fiona's TrademarkFavoriteFood is salt. She puts it on or in everything she makes, including the coffee. Van normally likes drinking coffee, but can't drink anything she brews up because she uses salt instead of sugar.

[[AC:Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/{{Preacher}}'': When a [[JurisdictionFriction federal cop tells the state cop]] their coffee tastes like someone came in it, he replies that they were so excited to finally get a 'real' cop that they just couldn't contain themselves.

[[AC:Fanfiction]]
* In ''Fanfic/TheFlightOfTheAlicorn'', Blueblood regularly burns his coffee while he's brewing it. Turns out he's never had a good cuppa in his entire life, so he thinks coffee is supposed to taste that bad. It's a revelation when Rarity brews him some good coffee.

[[AC:Film]]
* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 1998}}'', the lead French investigator finds the New York coffee his assistant gives him to be awful. [[MustHaveCaffeine He still drinks it]].
* One ''Film/TheThreeStooges'' sketch has the Stooges attempting to open a diner by building it themselves. One of their first customers complains about his coffee, so Moe drinks from the mug to see what's wrong. He grimaces, then says, "That's not coffee, that's paint!" He grabs another coffee mug, drinks from it, and makes an even worse face: "The paint was better." He takes another drink from the mug of paint as the scene ends.
* Parodied in ''Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe'', when Austin mistakes a stool sample for a cup of coffee.
--> '''Austin:''' Crikey! This coffee smells like shit!
--> '''Basil:''' It ''is'' shit, Austin.
--> '''Austin:''' Oh well then it's not just me. [Drinks] It's a bit nutty.
* We don't know because it's never tasted, but in ''Film/DeadMenDontWearPlaid'' Rigby makes Swede a cup of his "java," which consists of an entire bag of coffee grounds and two raw eggs (including shells). But Rigby & Swede are shot before they drink it.
* A running gag in ''Franchise/MenInBlack 3'' has Agent K lamenting every morning that "This coffee tastes like dirt", to which Agent J (in the present) or Agent O (in the past) would reply, "It should, it was just ground this morning." [[spoiler:(This joke clues O in on the fact that J actually knew K, after K was killed in the past by Boris the Animal.)]]
* In ''Film/{{Elf}}'', Buddy sees a sign on a GreasySpoon diner declaring they have "the world's best cup of coffee", and he naively believes it. Later, on his first date with Jovi, Buddy tries to surprise her with coffee at this diner.
--> '''Buddy:''' Reach out in front of you and take a sip. Don't look.
--> ''[Jovie is blindfolded. She sips the coffee and makes a face.]''
--> '''Buddy:''' Well?
--> '''Jovie:''' It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee. ''[Removes the blindfold]'' It ''is'' a crappy cup of coffee.
--> '''Buddy:''' No, it's the world's ''best'' cup of coffee!
* In the BusterKeaton comedy short "The Navigator", a pampered heir tries to make coffee for the first time in his life; he uses ocean water. He adds a spoonful of sugar, tastes it- then dumps the entire container of sugar in his mug.

[[AC:Literature]]
* In the ''Literature/InDeath'' series set in the 2050-2060s, genuine coffee is an expensive luxury that only the rich can afford, most people making due with an artificially flavored substitute. Lt. Dallas's coffee is like the nectar of the gods by comparison to the usual cop coffee.
* Creator/RobertHeinlein's ''Literature/GloryRoad''. The protagonist Oscar Gordon describes coffee as coming in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover. Carbon Remover is this trope.
* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'', we have the brew provided by Sham Harga, the one-cook biohazard who runs the renowned eatery, Harga's House of Ribs. Sam Vimes likes the coffee here, which is indescribably foul.
* There's a tea example in ''[[Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Valor]]'' -- Alberich got some vile drinks as part of the Sunsguard, but even he considers the herbal teas at City Guard stations undrinkable.

[[AC:Live Action Television]]

to:

--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

Good coffee can be really good, while bad coffee is Bad To The Last Drop. It might be very cheap and/or very poorly brewed coffee, or it can be ersatz substitutes for coffee that just don't make the grade.

grade.

To some extent, even good coffee is an acquired taste; many people load it up with cream and sugar when they first start drinking coffee for this reason. That's not this trope. This is when the stuff's so awful that if the drinker wasn't in the midst of a MustHaveCaffeine moment, it would be thrown out.

out.

Sometimes subverted by coffee purists who argue that coffee ''should'' be cheap and poorly brewed, and call anyone invoking this trope on such beverages a snob.

snob.

The trope name is an allusion to the Maxwell House slogan "Good to the Last Drop".

Drop".

While this trope most commonly features coffee, any bad non-alcoholic drink can go here. Bad alcoholic drinks should see the SisterTrope, ATankardOfMooseUrine. KlatchianCoffee may overlap with this, or simply be another Sister Trope. Descriptions of such beverages may be some variant of "ItTastesLikeFeet."
-----

'''Examples:'''

[[AC:Advertising]]
"
-----

'''Examples:'''

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Advertising ]]

* A 1979 Yuban coffee commercial has a wife lamenting that her coffee is so bad, her husband "never has a second cup of coffee at home."
"
** Parodied in ''Film/{{Airplane}}''. "Jim never vomits at home..."

[[AC:Anime
"

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Anime
and Manga]]
Manga ]]

* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'' has a running gag of the coffee in military headquarters being awful. And the one at the Northern HQ is not free.
free.
* ''Franchise/OnePiece'': In Ace's cover story, the Marines on their ship are complaining about the coffee being really bitter and all-around distasteful. (Adding milk, courtesy of one Marine officer's dairy farmer daughter, seems to improve the coffee ... which as noted above is TruthInTelevision.)
)
* In ''Anime/ZoidsChaoticCentury'', Fiona's TrademarkFavoriteFood is salt. She puts it on or in everything she makes, including the coffee. Van normally likes drinking coffee, but can't drink anything she brews up because she uses salt instead of sugar.

[[AC:Comic Books]]
sugar.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comic Books ]]

* ''ComicBook/{{Preacher}}'': When a [[JurisdictionFriction federal cop tells the state cop]] their coffee tastes like someone came in it, he replies that they were so excited to finally get a 'real' cop that they just couldn't contain themselves.

[[AC:Fanfiction]]
themselves.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Fanfiction ]]

* In ''Fanfic/TheFlightOfTheAlicorn'', Blueblood regularly burns his coffee while he's brewing it. Turns out he's never had a good cuppa in his entire life, so he thinks coffee is supposed to taste that bad. It's a revelation when Rarity brews him some good coffee.

[[AC:Film]]
coffee.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Film ]]

* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 1998}}'', the lead French investigator finds the New York coffee his assistant gives him to be awful. [[MustHaveCaffeine He still drinks it]].
it]].
* One ''Film/TheThreeStooges'' sketch has the Stooges attempting to open a diner by building it themselves. One of their first customers complains about his coffee, so Moe drinks from the mug to see what's wrong. He grimaces, then says, "That's not coffee, that's paint!" He grabs another coffee mug, drinks from it, and makes an even worse face: "The paint was better." He takes another drink from the mug of paint as the scene ends.
ends.
* Parodied in ''Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe'', when Austin mistakes a stool sample for a cup of coffee.
coffee.
--> '''Austin:''' Crikey! This coffee smells like shit!
shit!
--> '''Basil:''' It ''is'' shit, Austin.
Austin.
--> '''Austin:''' Oh well then it's not just me. [Drinks] It's a bit nutty.
nutty.
* We don't know because it's never tasted, but in ''Film/DeadMenDontWearPlaid'' Rigby makes Swede a cup of his "java," which consists of an entire bag of coffee grounds and two raw eggs (including shells). But Rigby & Swede are shot before they drink it.
it.
* A running gag in ''Franchise/MenInBlack 3'' has Agent K lamenting every morning that "This coffee tastes like dirt", to which Agent J (in the present) or Agent O (in the past) would reply, "It should, it was just ground this morning." [[spoiler:(This joke clues O in on the fact that J actually knew K, after K was killed in the past by Boris the Animal.)]]
)]]
* In ''Film/{{Elf}}'', Buddy sees a sign on a GreasySpoon diner declaring they have "the world's best cup of coffee", and he naively believes it. Later, on his first date with Jovi, Buddy tries to surprise her with coffee at this diner.
diner.
--> '''Buddy:''' Reach out in front of you and take a sip. Don't look.
look.
--> ''[Jovie is blindfolded. She sips the coffee and makes a face.]''
]''
--> '''Buddy:''' Well?
Well?
--> '''Jovie:''' It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee. ''[Removes the blindfold]'' It ''is'' a crappy cup of coffee.
coffee.
--> '''Buddy:''' No, it's the world's ''best'' cup of coffee!
coffee!
* In the BusterKeaton comedy short "The Navigator", a pampered heir tries to make coffee for the first time in his life; he uses ocean water. He adds a spoonful of sugar, tastes it- then dumps the entire container of sugar in his mug.

[[AC:Literature]]
mug.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Literature ]]

* In the ''Literature/InDeath'' series set in the 2050-2060s, genuine coffee is an expensive luxury that only the rich can afford, most people making due with an artificially flavored substitute. Lt. Dallas's coffee is like the nectar of the gods by comparison to the usual cop coffee.
coffee.
* Creator/RobertHeinlein's ''Literature/GloryRoad''. The protagonist Oscar Gordon describes coffee as coming in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover. Carbon Remover is this trope.
trope.
* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'', we have the brew provided by Sham Harga, the one-cook biohazard who runs the renowned eatery, Harga's House of Ribs. Sam Vimes likes the coffee here, which is indescribably foul.
foul.
* There's a tea example in ''[[Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Valor]]'' -- Alberich got some vile drinks as part of the Sunsguard, but even he considers the herbal teas at City Guard stations undrinkable.

[[AC:Live
undrinkable.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live
Action Television]] Television ]]



* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': The coffee is almost always horrible. Everyone thought it was the way Nick made it, until one time when Nick felt unappreciated and Wojo made some.
--> '''Nick:''' ''makes sour face'' All this time I thought it was just me.
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'': Rick claimed that the coffee in the squad room tasted like a monkey had peed in battery acid. It was so bad he bought the squad room a cappuccino maker.
* One episode of ''Series/{{Kojak}}'' had an elderly woman come to the station to give a statement. While there she asked for a cup of coffee, and upon tasting it gently tells the detective interviewing her that it's absolutely terrible.
* In the sci-fi series ''Series/{{Starhunter}}'', Percy comments on how bad the coffee in her cup is. She is seen ''chewing'' it.
* Stanley in ''Series/RizzoliAndIsles'' makes really bad coffee. Jane accuses him of putting his sweat socks in the coffee maker.
* ''Series/{{Blackadder}} the Third'': Blackadder gives one of his circuitous insults to Mrs Miggins, owner of a coffee shoppe.

to:

* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': The coffee is almost always horrible. Everyone thought it was the way Nick made it, until one time when Nick felt unappreciated and Wojo made some.
some.
--> '''Nick:''' ''makes sour face'' All this time I thought it was just me.
me.
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'': Rick claimed that the coffee in the squad room tasted like a monkey had peed in battery acid. It was so bad he bought the squad room a cappuccino maker.
maker.
* One episode of ''Series/{{Kojak}}'' had an elderly woman come to the station to give a statement. While there she asked for a cup of coffee, and upon tasting it gently tells the detective interviewing her that it's absolutely terrible.
terrible.
* In the sci-fi series ''Series/{{Starhunter}}'', Percy comments on how bad the coffee in her cup is. She is seen ''chewing'' it.
it.
* Stanley in ''Series/RizzoliAndIsles'' makes really bad coffee. Jane accuses him of putting his sweat socks in the coffee maker.
maker.
* ''Series/{{Blackadder}} the Third'': Blackadder gives one of his circuitous insults to Mrs Miggins, owner of a coffee shoppe.



* ''Series/{{Mash}}'' had several examples:
-->'''B.J.:''' This coffee is terrible, even by my standards!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' And this is coming from a man who drinks lime koolaid with strips of bologna in it!
-->.
-->'''Klinger:''' Colonel, how would you like a delicious cup of coffee?
-->'''Potter:''' I'd love it!
-->'''Klinger:''' Me too, this stuff stinks.
-->.
-->'''Potter:''' I told 'em strong, not lethal!

to:

* ''Series/{{Mash}}'' had several examples:
examples:
-->'''B.J.:''' This coffee is terrible, even by my standards!
standards!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' And this is coming from a man who drinks lime koolaid with strips of bologna in it!
-->.
it!
-->.
-->'''Klinger:''' Colonel, how would you like a delicious cup of coffee?
coffee?
-->'''Potter:''' I'd love it!
it!
-->'''Klinger:''' Me too, this stuff stinks.
-->.
stinks.
-->.
-->'''Potter:''' I told 'em strong, not lethal! lethal!



* Narrowly averted in an episode of ''Series/NightCourt''. The case of the night concerns the ashes of a man named Herb, whose two wives each want to keep the ashes. They are temporarily in Harry's custody. Meanwhile Harry's coffeemaker is on the fritz and the building manager Art fixes it. Later Harry finds the urn empty.
--> '''Art:''' Oh sorry, your honor, I had to use that herb tea to test the coffeemaker.
--> '''Harry:''' Art, that wasn't herb ''tea'', that was '''Herb'''.
--> ''Cut to Dan frozen in place with a cup just about to touch his lips''

to:

* Narrowly averted in an episode of ''Series/NightCourt''. The case of the night concerns the ashes of a man named Herb, whose two wives each want to keep the ashes. They are temporarily in Harry's custody. Meanwhile Harry's coffeemaker is on the fritz and the building manager Art fixes it. Later Harry finds the urn empty.
empty.
--> '''Art:''' Oh sorry, your honor, I had to use that herb tea to test the coffeemaker.
coffeemaker.
--> '''Harry:''' Art, that wasn't herb ''tea'', that was '''Herb'''.
'''Herb'''.
--> ''Cut to Dan frozen in place with a cup just about to touch his lips'' lips''



[[AC:Music]]
* In the song "I Don't Want No More of Army Life", one of the verses goes:
--> Oh, the coffee in the army, they say it's mighty fine.
--> Looks like muddy water, tastes like turpentine!

[[AC:Newspaper Comics]]

to:

[[AC:Music]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Music ]]

* In the song "I Don't Want No More of Army Life", one of the verses goes:
goes:
--> Oh, the coffee in the army, they say it's mighty fine.
fine.
--> Looks like muddy water, tastes like turpentine!

[[AC:Newspaper Comics]]
turpentine!

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Newspaper Comics ]]



[[AC:Tabletop Games]]
* The ''TabletopGame/{{Deadlands}}'' setting has a spell called "Coffin Varnish" [[note]] an old term for bad coffee [[/note]], which conjures coffee of this kind.

[[AC:Web Animation]]
* One of the [="MessageMates"=] (small programs which display a short humorous animation and end with a message ... and try to infect your computer with spyware), titled "Bad Coffee", is about the characters complaining that the coffee they're drinking tastes like "monkey piss" and then discovering an actual monkey inside the coffee vending machine.

[[AC:Webcomics]]
* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'''s graphic novel "Start of Darkness", Xykon is something of a bad-coffee ''fan'', as drinking a really horrible cup of coffee reminds him of all the good coffee he can compare it to. He's infuriated when he tries his first coffee after becoming undead, and can't taste it at all, good or bad.

to:

[[AC:Tabletop Games]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Tabletop Games ]]

* The ''TabletopGame/{{Deadlands}}'' setting has a spell called "Coffin Varnish" [[note]] an old term for bad coffee [[/note]], which conjures coffee of this kind.

[[AC:Web Animation]]
kind.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Animation ]]

* One of the [="MessageMates"=] (small programs which display a short humorous animation and end with a message ... and try to infect your computer with spyware), titled "Bad Coffee", is about the characters complaining that the coffee they're drinking tastes like "monkey piss" and then discovering an actual monkey inside the coffee vending machine.

[[AC:Webcomics]]
machine.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Webcomics ]]

* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'''s graphic novel "Start of Darkness", Xykon is something of a bad-coffee ''fan'', as drinking a really horrible cup of coffee reminds him of all the good coffee he can compare it to. He's infuriated when he tries his first coffee after becoming undead, and can't taste it at all, good or bad.



[[AC:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc'' subverts this trope by showing a scene in which Waternoose turns the spigot on a "coffee" machine, and a thick sludge slowly oozes out of the machine.

to:

[[AC:Western Animation]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation ]]

* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc'' subverts this trope by showing a scene in which Waternoose turns the spigot on a "coffee" machine, and a thick sludge slowly oozes out of the machine.



[[AC: Real Life]]

to:

[[AC: [[/folder]]

[[folder:
Real Life]]Life ]]



----

to:

----
[[/folder]]
----
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* ''Series/{{Green Acres}}'': Possibly the first instance of this trope on a television series was in Green Acres. Eva Gabor's character, Lisa Douglas, was terrible at all things domestic and her coffee was no different. It would come out of the pot in a thick black sludge in many, many episodes much to her husband's dismay.

Added: 66

Changed: 284

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addition


-->
-->'''Winchester:''' The undrinkable washing down the inedible.




to:

* On ''Gimme A Break'', Chief Kiniski was on a stakeout and his partner drank from the thermos of coffee he brought (which was made by one of the daughters). He asked if it was supposed to be coffee. Kiniski looks at it and says "I think so. Turpentine doesn't have grounds in it."
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* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 1998}}'', the lead French investigator finds the New York coffee his assistant gives him to be awful. [[MustHaveCaffeine He still drinks it.]]

to:

* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 1998}}'', the lead French investigator finds the New York coffee his assistant gives him to be awful. [[MustHaveCaffeine He still drinks it.]] it]].

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* The bus drivers in ''ComicStrip/{{Crankshaft}}'' endure Lena's notoriously bad coffee (which is still better than her unspeakable brownies).

to:

* The bus drivers in ''ComicStrip/{{Crankshaft}}'' endure Lena's notoriously bad coffee (which is still better than her unspeakable brownies).
brownies).
* One ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' comic in Irma's diner had Jon complain about the drink he was sold; he couldn't tell whether it was coffee or tea because it tasted like turpentine.
-->'''Irma:''' Oh, that's our coffee. Our tea tastes like transmission fluid.
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* Coffee made from percolators was said to fit this trope, especially if the coffee was allowed to brew for too long.
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[[AC: Real Life]]
* Coffee snobs see Starbucks coffee as this, due to the chain's use of dark-roasted beans.
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While this trope most commonly features coffee, any bad non-alcoholic drink can go here. Bad alcoholic drinks should see the SisterTrope, ATankardOfMooseUrine. KlatchianCoffee may overlap with this, or simply be another Sister Trope.

to:

While this trope most commonly features coffee, any bad non-alcoholic drink can go here. Bad alcoholic drinks should see the SisterTrope, ATankardOfMooseUrine. KlatchianCoffee may overlap with this, or simply be another Sister Trope. Descriptions of such beverages may be some variant of "ItTastesLikeFeet."
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->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!
->'''Tommy:''' It ''is'' mud!
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

to:

->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!
->'''Tommy:'''
mud!\\
'''Tommy:'''
It ''is'' mud!
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''
mud!\\
--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\
->'''Tommy:''' It ''is'' mud!\\
-->''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

to:

->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!\\
mud!
->'''Tommy:''' It ''is'' mud!\\
-->''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''
mud!
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''

Added: 4

Changed: 27

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-> Chuckee: Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!
-> Tommy: It is mud!
--> WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}

to:

-> Chuckee: ->'''Chuckee:''' Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!
-> Tommy:
mud!\\
->'''Tommy:'''
It is mud!
--> WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}
''is'' mud!\\
-->''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}''



* In one "Mr. Know-It-All" segment of ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle'', Bullwinkle goes to a coffee shop and waiter Boris suggests "Cafe Minuto". Bullwinkle drinks it and cringes, then Boris says it "should be bad to last drop."

to:

* In one "Mr. Know-It-All" segment of ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle'', Bullwinkle goes to a coffee shop and waiter Boris suggests "Cafe Minuto". Bullwinkle drinks it and cringes, then Boris says it "should be bad to last drop.""
----
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* In ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', Aubrey complains that the coffee in a coffee shop "tastes just like a diaper smells." Flinging the cup to the ground, she claims that she could "menstruate a better cup of coffee." When the cashier tells her to leave or he'll call the police, she counters with, "When it comes to bad coffee and donuts, [[DonutMessWithACop whose side do you think a cop will be on]]?"

to:

* In ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', Aubrey complains that the coffee in a coffee donut shop "tastes just like a diaper smells." Flinging the cup to the ground, she claims that she could "menstruate a better cup of coffee." When the cashier tells her to leave or he'll call the police, she counters with, "When it comes to bad coffee and donuts, [[DonutMessWithACop whose side do you think a cop will be on]]?"

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--> A cup of your best hot water with brown grit in it - unless, of course, by some miracle, your coffee shop has started selling coffee.

to:

--> A cup of your best hot water with brown grit in it - unless, of course, by some miracle, your coffee shop has started selling coffee. coffee.
** An extended sequence in ''Blackadder Goes Forth'' has Baldrick explain just why his coffee is so awful; turns out the war means they ran out of real ingredients years ago, so in typical Baldrick style he's been using ersatz coffee (mud), ersatz milk (phlegm), and ersatz sugar (dandruff).
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** In one strip, Vaarsuvius pranks Belkar by leaving out "Explosive Runes" brand coffee that he filtered through Roy's sweaty socks. Then, after a disgusted Belkar goes to read the brand of the coffee, he is (nonfatally) blown up.

to:

** In one strip, Vaarsuvius pranks Belkar by leaving out "Explosive Runes" brand coffee that he filtered through Roy's sweaty socks. Then, after a disgusted Belkar goes to read the brand of the coffee, he is (nonfatally) blown up.
up.
* In ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', Aubrey complains that the coffee in a coffee shop "tastes just like a diaper smells." Flinging the cup to the ground, she claims that she could "menstruate a better cup of coffee." When the cashier tells her to leave or he'll call the police, she counters with, "When it comes to bad coffee and donuts, [[DonutMessWithACop whose side do you think a cop will be on]]?"
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
inital launch with copy of markup

Added DiffLines:

-> Chuckee: Eww! This coffee tastes like mud!
-> Tommy: It is mud!
--> WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}

Good coffee can be really good, while bad coffee is Bad To The Last Drop. It might be very cheap and/or very poorly brewed coffee, or it can be ersatz substitutes for coffee that just don't make the grade.

To some extent, even good coffee is an acquired taste; many people load it up with cream and sugar when they first start drinking coffee for this reason. That's not this trope. This is when the stuff's so awful that if the drinker wasn't in the midst of a MustHaveCaffeine moment, it would be thrown out.

Sometimes subverted by coffee purists who argue that coffee ''should'' be cheap and poorly brewed, and call anyone invoking this trope on such beverages a snob.

The trope name is an allusion to the Maxwell House slogan "Good to the Last Drop".

While this trope most commonly features coffee, any bad non-alcoholic drink can go here. Bad alcoholic drinks should see the SisterTrope, ATankardOfMooseUrine. KlatchianCoffee may overlap with this, or simply be another Sister Trope.
-----

'''Examples:'''

[[AC:Advertising]]
* A 1979 Yuban coffee commercial has a wife lamenting that her coffee is so bad, her husband "never has a second cup of coffee at home."
** Parodied in ''Film/{{Airplane}}''. "Jim never vomits at home..."

[[AC:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'' has a running gag of the coffee in military headquarters being awful. And the one at the Northern HQ is not free.
* ''Franchise/OnePiece'': In Ace's cover story, the Marines on their ship are complaining about the coffee being really bitter and all-around distasteful. (Adding milk, courtesy of one Marine officer's dairy farmer daughter, seems to improve the coffee ... which as noted above is TruthInTelevision.)
* In ''Anime/ZoidsChaoticCentury'', Fiona's TrademarkFavoriteFood is salt. She puts it on or in everything she makes, including the coffee. Van normally likes drinking coffee, but can't drink anything she brews up because she uses salt instead of sugar.

[[AC:Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/{{Preacher}}'': When a [[JurisdictionFriction federal cop tells the state cop]] their coffee tastes like someone came in it, he replies that they were so excited to finally get a 'real' cop that they just couldn't contain themselves.

[[AC:Fanfiction]]
* In ''Fanfic/TheFlightOfTheAlicorn'', Blueblood regularly burns his coffee while he's brewing it. Turns out he's never had a good cuppa in his entire life, so he thinks coffee is supposed to taste that bad. It's a revelation when Rarity brews him some good coffee.

[[AC:Film]]
* In ''Film/{{Godzilla 1998}}'', the lead French investigator finds the New York coffee his assistant gives him to be awful. [[MustHaveCaffeine He still drinks it.]]
* One ''Film/TheThreeStooges'' sketch has the Stooges attempting to open a diner by building it themselves. One of their first customers complains about his coffee, so Moe drinks from the mug to see what's wrong. He grimaces, then says, "That's not coffee, that's paint!" He grabs another coffee mug, drinks from it, and makes an even worse face: "The paint was better." He takes another drink from the mug of paint as the scene ends.
* Parodied in ''Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe'', when Austin mistakes a stool sample for a cup of coffee.
--> '''Austin:''' Crikey! This coffee smells like shit!
--> '''Basil:''' It ''is'' shit, Austin.
--> '''Austin:''' Oh well then it's not just me. [Drinks] It's a bit nutty.
* We don't know because it's never tasted, but in ''Film/DeadMenDontWearPlaid'' Rigby makes Swede a cup of his "java," which consists of an entire bag of coffee grounds and two raw eggs (including shells). But Rigby & Swede are shot before they drink it.
* A running gag in ''Franchise/MenInBlack 3'' has Agent K lamenting every morning that "This coffee tastes like dirt", to which Agent J (in the present) or Agent O (in the past) would reply, "It should, it was just ground this morning." [[spoiler:(This joke clues O in on the fact that J actually knew K, after K was killed in the past by Boris the Animal.)]]
* In ''Film/{{Elf}}'', Buddy sees a sign on a GreasySpoon diner declaring they have "the world's best cup of coffee", and he naively believes it. Later, on his first date with Jovi, Buddy tries to surprise her with coffee at this diner.
--> '''Buddy:''' Reach out in front of you and take a sip. Don't look.
--> ''[Jovie is blindfolded. She sips the coffee and makes a face.]''
--> '''Buddy:''' Well?
--> '''Jovie:''' It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee. ''[Removes the blindfold]'' It ''is'' a crappy cup of coffee.
--> '''Buddy:''' No, it's the world's ''best'' cup of coffee!
*In the BusterKeaton comedy short "The Navigator", a pampered heir tries to make coffee for the first time in his life; he uses ocean water. He adds a spoonful of sugar, tastes it- then dumps the entire container of sugar in his mug.

[[AC:Literature]]
* In the ''Literature/InDeath'' series set in the 2050-2060s, genuine coffee is an expensive luxury that only the rich can afford, most people making due with an artificially flavored substitute. Lt. Dallas's coffee is like the nectar of the gods by comparison to the usual cop coffee.
* Creator/RobertHeinlein's ''Literature/GloryRoad''. The protagonist Oscar Gordon describes coffee as coming in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover. Carbon Remover is this trope.
* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'', we have the brew provided by Sham Harga, the one-cook biohazard who runs the renowned eatery, Harga's House of Ribs. Sam Vimes likes the coffee here, which is indescribably foul.
* There's a tea example in ''[[Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Valor]]'' -- Alberich got some vile drinks as part of the Sunsguard, but even he considers the herbal teas at City Guard stations undrinkable.

[[AC:Live Action Television]]
* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': The coffee is almost always horrible. Everyone thought it was the way Nick made it, until one time when Nick felt unappreciated and Wojo made some.
--> '''Nick:''' ''makes sour face'' All this time I thought it was just me.
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'': Rick claimed that the coffee in the squad room tasted like a monkey had peed in battery acid. It was so bad he bought the squad room a cappuccino maker.
* One episode of ''Series/{{Kojak}}'' had an elderly woman come to the station to give a statement. While there she asked for a cup of coffee, and upon tasting it gently tells the detective interviewing her that it's absolutely terrible.
* In the sci-fi series ''Series/{{Starhunter}}'', Percy comments on how bad the coffee in her cup is. She is seen ''chewing'' it.
* Stanley in ''Series/RizzoliAndIsles'' makes really bad coffee. Jane accuses him of putting his sweat socks in the coffee maker.
* ''Series/{{Blackadder}} the Third'': Blackadder gives one of his circuitous insults to Mrs Miggins, owner of a coffee shoppe.
--> A cup of your best hot water with brown grit in it - unless, of course, by some miracle, your coffee shop has started selling coffee.
* ''Series/{{Mash}}'' had several examples:
-->'''B.J.:''' This coffee is terrible, even by my standards!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' And this is coming from a man who drinks lime koolaid with strips of bologna in it!
-->.
-->'''Klinger:''' Colonel, how would you like a delicious cup of coffee?
-->'''Potter:''' I'd love it!
-->'''Klinger:''' Me too, this stuff stinks.
-->.
-->'''Potter:''' I told 'em strong, not lethal!
* Narrowly averted in an episode of ''Series/NightCourt''. The case of the night concerns the ashes of a man named Herb, whose two wives each want to keep the ashes. They are temporarily in Harry's custody. Meanwhile Harry's coffeemaker is on the fritz and the building manager Art fixes it. Later Harry finds the urn empty.
--> '''Art:''' Oh sorry, your honor, I had to use that herb tea to test the coffeemaker.
--> '''Harry:''' Art, that wasn't herb ''tea'', that was '''Herb'''.
--> ''Cut to Dan frozen in place with a cup just about to touch his lips''

[[AC:Music]]
* In the song "I Don't Want No More of Army Life", one of the verses goes:
--> Oh, the coffee in the army, they say it's mighty fine.
--> Looks like muddy water, tastes like turpentine!

[[AC:Newspaper Comics]]
* The bus drivers in ''ComicStrip/{{Crankshaft}}'' endure Lena's notoriously bad coffee (which is still better than her unspeakable brownies).

[[AC:Tabletop Games]]
* The ''TabletopGame/{{Deadlands}}'' setting has a spell called "Coffin Varnish" [[note]] an old term for bad coffee [[/note]], which conjures coffee of this kind.

[[AC:Web Animation]]
* One of the [="MessageMates"=] (small programs which display a short humorous animation and end with a message ... and try to infect your computer with spyware), titled "Bad Coffee", is about the characters complaining that the coffee they're drinking tastes like "monkey piss" and then discovering an actual monkey inside the coffee vending machine.

[[AC:Webcomics]]
* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'''s graphic novel "Start of Darkness", Xykon is something of a bad-coffee ''fan'', as drinking a really horrible cup of coffee reminds him of all the good coffee he can compare it to. He's infuriated when he tries his first coffee after becoming undead, and can't taste it at all, good or bad.
** In one strip, Vaarsuvius pranks Belkar by leaving out "Explosive Runes" brand coffee that he filtered through Roy's sweaty socks. Then, after a disgusted Belkar goes to read the brand of the coffee, he is (nonfatally) blown up.

[[AC:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc'' subverts this trope by showing a scene in which Waternoose turns the spigot on a "coffee" machine, and a thick sludge slowly oozes out of the machine.
* In one "Mr. Know-It-All" segment of ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle'', Bullwinkle goes to a coffee shop and waiter Boris suggests "Cafe Minuto". Bullwinkle drinks it and cringes, then Boris says it "should be bad to last drop."

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