History Funny / WouldILieToYou

'''Lee:''' The next part of the joke is: "He went to visit Lee." ''[Lee wearily mimes handing over a fast-food order]''\\

'''David:''' No! ''[laughter]'' Even though, Lee, you, on television, have said you want my marriage to fall apart, [[DamnedByFaintPraise I still find you an adequate colleague.]]\\

* Dave Myers (of the Hairy Bikers) having the statements that he was once locked inside a merchant bank over Christmas and that the This Is My guest once helped him build a zeppelin when he was 16. [[spoiler:[[CrazyAwesome Both are true]].]] After he mentions that the bank incident happened just after Music/JohnLennon's assassination, Lee attempts to establish a link between the two by suggesting ''Dave'' killed Lennon or was secretly going out with Yoko Ono.

--> '''David:''' And then subsequently, he has followed you and put cabbage leaves in other places you've been sleeping.

-->'''James:''' ''with a dirty look at Mick'' He sent me a cabbage in the post.

--> '''David:''' (in a weak, desperate voice) What should I base it on, Bob?

[[AC:Chismas Special]]

-->'''Jimmy''': How am I getting bullied by Jamelia?!
** David is sceptical of the story because the Royals are usually represented at Wimbledon by the Duke and Duchesss of Kent rather than Prince Philip, "who's got more important sporting events to go and be racist at."

--->'''Rob:''' A ''horse!'' [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Sorry, I missed the 'S'!]]

** Alex Jones, on the other hand, believes the story is true: "People do alternative things with groceries at that age." Lee ''[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar immediately]]'' gives an AsideGlance to the camera as the audience hoots in laughter. Alex, in genuine surprise, realizes her slip of the tongue a second too late.

* Bob Mortimer telling an insane story about cracking an egg in his bath following on advice of Chris Rhea. Despite the utter ludicrousness of the story, David Mitchell thinks it's true since Bob's insane stories usually turn out to be true, but for once it's a lie.

[[folder:series 12]]

-->''David:'' So he initially put cabbage leaves in the bed you were sleeping in when you were staying at his father's.
-->''James:'' TRUE!
--> ''David:'' And then subsequently, he has followed you and put cabbage leaves in other places you've been sleeping.
-->''James:'' No.
-->''David:'' Okay, what then?
-->''James, with a dirty look at Mick:'' He sent me a cabbage in the post.

* Lee is claiming that the "This Is My" guest is a French nanny who asked him to deal with a spider, in a story that quickly degenerates into implausibility, and with June Brown's story sounding similarly unlikely, David's team goes with Aisling Bea, who's clearly told the sanest story. The guest [[spoiler:responds in French before admitting that she is Aisling's friend (as she really wanted Lee's story to be true), after which Lee admits that he briefly thought it was actually him when he heard the guest start in French.]]

'''David:''' Yes! And it's ''always true''! It was true [[CallBack about the masks in Castle Douglas, it was true about him being able to tear an apple apart with his bare hands, it was true about the game in the garden!

*** Which helped set up Kevin's joke about "It was a Bulgarian guy, trying to speak English. And two Irish guys, [[SelfDeprecation trying to speak English]]."

* Lee's claim that he can smell if there is a dead fly in the room. He managed to send the entire panel and audience into hysterics for a good thirty seconds just by reading it out.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4i-ZSMTcJc Lee finally snaps.]]

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* Lorraine Kelly claims she once presented an episode of ''TV AM'' while drunk.