History Funny / WatchDogs

* During one side mission, you can hack a gang member's grenade to explode. His dawning reaction to the beeping - realizing it's coming from his own grenade and what is about to happen - is comedy gold.

*** (paraphrased) "What the fuck! This ain't Afghanistan! I ain't the Taliban! I-" BOOM.

* After you take down Defalt, Aiden asks if he had anything else, T-Bone mentions he had a USB sticks with 6 gigabytes of [[TheInternetIsForPorn lesbian porn]] and Aiden says that T-Bone can keep it.

* Some of the Engineers audio logs are amusing. They're pretty much a prank war between Blume employees all around the Bunker.

* Some of the Privacy Invasions can lead to some hilarity, such as a topless woman playing Russian roulette with a guy who really gets off on it. Then they lay on the bed together and start laughing their heads off. But MoodWhiplash kicks in when the woman asks if she should try it on herself, and it forces you out [[NothingIsScarier right before she pulls the trigger...]]

*** Even funnier, ''you can actually find Aisha Tyler in the overworld as an NPC!'' Apparently she's under [=DedSec=] surveillance.

** Yet another involves a man and a woman in an apartment together, with the player's view starting off behind them. It seems at first to be a real TearJerker, with the man urgently, lovingly telling the woman that she needs to eat and that she wasn't sure how she would react to being rescued from an abusive relationship. But then you access a camera pointed in front of them and discover that the "woman" is in fact [[CargoShip a storefront mannequin reported stolen from a department store]].

* Pressing and holding the "hack" button causes Aiden to whip out his phone. However, some sicko found that if the key/button was pressed repeatedly, Aiden would perform an action that looks like he is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nCGPiFIhV4 pleasuring himself]]. Bonus points of hilarity for the fact that Aiden just so happens to be wearing a trenchcoat.

* If you get on a motorcycle and move at ridiculously slow speeds, citizens will still leap out of your way like it's a frantic high speed chase. Poor driving in general can result in this.

--> '''Angry Joe:''' (Halfway between being {{Squick}}ed out, and just plain horrified) ''Daaaaaamn'', Carl Breenwood, you're a fucking ''asshole'', dude!

* At least one Cash Run trail requires you to cross a track for the L-train in the middle of a busy highway. Cars will generally stop when you come near them, but if you aren't paying attention and your timing is unfortunate, an incoming train can and ''will'' ram straight into you like something out of a cartoon, killing Aiden instantly. Helped by the fact that one direction of the track is blocked from view by the supports for the bridge, making it all too easy to not see that there's even a train there.

* During T-Bone's escape from the ctOS building in the opening mission you run into a surprise guard. Though actually -- he's even more surprised to see ''you''.

* During ''Bad Blood'', T-Bone is using Tobias as bait to lure out the Fixers trying to find him. Unfortunately, a homeless man attacks Tobias, so he bolts to the nearest safehouse, where we get this exchange:

* During the credits for ''Bad Blood'', T-Bone and Tobias wind down from the events of the story and just sit on the beach drinking beer. Except that Tobias dumped out his beer because it didn't smell good and got a "Wet Zambezi" instead because it smells like fruit (turns out it tastes disgusting) and then he offers T-Bone a burger from the Quinkie's restaurant that T-Bone badmouthed earlier in the game. When T-Bone refuses, he takes the crane stance from ''Film/TheKarateKid'' and "threatens" with "I'm gonna fuck you up if you don't eat this fucking burger!" It's all in good fun though and they have a good time.

* A bit of BlackComedy from the mission where Nicky gets rescued: Aiden tells her to grab a nearby gun, to which she nervously complies and says she doesn’t know anything about guns. Not a second later, a mook comes in and startles Nicky, causing her to shoot him and cause him to bleed out.

* Pressing and holding the "hack" button causes Aiden to whip out his phone. However, some sicko found that if the key/button was pressed repeatedly, Aiden would perform an action that resembles... [[ADateWithRosiePalms well]]... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nCGPiFIhV4 see for yourself]]. Bonus points of hilarity for the fact that Aiden just so happens to be wearing a trenchcoat.

* While breaking into Tobias' old lab, [=BlumeForge=], T-Bone finds that old-fashioned laser detection arrays have been set up. This starts with just one, then a few in succession, until he comes across a room which not only has lasers moving across the floor from the ceiling, but also [[UpToEleven a horizontally-spinning one which will detect anything on the floor at all]]. This leads to this exchange.

** Sometimes, [[HopeSpot the poor sap is able to figure grab the grenade, and has just enough time to toss it away from himself]] - [[FromBadToWorse only to almost always toss it at a couple of other hapless]] {{mook}}s. So much for FriendlyFireproof, eh?

-->'''Person 2''': [[YouMakeMeSic You're.]]

*** (also paraphrased) "Tell my wife- Tell her I've been [[YourCheatingHeart fucking her sister]]!"

*** (also paraphrased) "Tell my wife- Tell her I've been fucking her sister!"

* A minor one where Adrian is using Social Engineering to track down a target. Call Target niece about her uncle. Hang up. "Wait for it" She then calls her uncle about how someone is trying to use her to get to him.

[[/foldercontrol]]
[[AC:Base Game]]

[[AC:Bad Blood]]

* In the Bad Blood DLC, during T-Bone's escape from the ctOS building in the opening mission you run into a surprise guard. Though actually -- he's even more surprised to see ''you''.
-->'''Guard''': Oh my God, it's Ray Kenney!
-->'''T-Bone''': Five bucks for an autograph, asshole! ''(proceeds to either shoot or take down the guard)''
* A minor one where Adrian is using Social Engineering to track down a target. Call Target niece about her uncle. Hang up. "Wait for it" She then calls her uncle about how someone is trying to use her to get to him.
* While breaking into Tobias' old lab, [=BlumeForge=], T-Bone finds that old-fashioned laser detection arrays have been set up. This starts with just one, then a few in succession, until he comes across a room which not only has lasers moving across the floor from the ceiling, but also [[UpToEleven a horizontally-spinning one which will detect anything on the floor at all]]. This leads to this exchange.
-->'''T-Bone''': (to himself) Are you fucking kidding me?! (calls Frewer) Are you fucking kidding me?!
-->'''Frewer''': I...what?
-->'''T-Bone''': What indeed. What. Indeed.
* In T-Bone's hideout, the Silo, is a talking moose head. When activated: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well a woodchuck ''can'' chuck wood, so shut the fuck up! (rimshot)"

* During the credits for ''Bad Blood'', T-Bone and Tobias wind down from the events of the story and just sit on the beach drinking beer. Except that Tobias dumped out his beer because it didn't smell good and got a "Wet Zambezi" instead because it smells like fruit (turns out it tastes disgusting) and then he offers T-Bone a burger from the Quinkie's restaurant that T-Bone badmouthed earlier in the game. When T-Bone refuses, he takes the crane stance from ''Film/TheKarateKid'' and "threatens" with "I'm gonna fuck you up if you don't eat this fucking burger!" It's all in good fun though and they have a good time.

** On the one hand, [[FridgeHorror given how this is a human trafficker pouring on more verbal assault to one of his "cargo"]], [[SickAndWrong the context isn't that funny at all]]... [[CrossesTheLineTwice But on the OTHER hand]], the fact Breenwood is such [[LargeHam an over-the-top]], ObviouslyEvil CardCarryingVillain - [[DevilInPlainSight potentially in broad daylight]] - [[BlackComedy is somewhat darkly amusing]]. This may also inspire some equally hilarious OhCrap[=/=]WildTake reactions from players running into Carl for the first time. For example, when AngryJoe was recording gameplay footage for his review, he plays a bit when he finds Carl halfway through his rant:

** And when the Fixers show up, T-Bone demands for Tobias to help him. He says that he's mounted guns onto the security cameras outside, and T-Bone admits to being impressed. Though when he notes how dangerous it is to mounted grenade launchers next to a ''highway structure'', Tobias admits that he didn't really think that one through.

** Another had a boy playing AssassinsCreed with his father watching. He apparently just successfully assassinated someone and everyone who's ever played AC knows that the AssholeVictim is now confessing everything. We get this exchange.

** A not-so-funny one, but still funny in its own way, is a single mom leaning against a counter, and you can hear her kids arguing in the other room. She goes absolutely BALLISTIC and sounds like she's about ten seconds away from killing them both as she screams that she's going to send them to the middle of nowhere so they can appreciate just how good they have it before sending them to their rooms without any dinner. [[GoshDangItToHeck All while restraining herself from outright swearing at them.]]

** You get to spy on AishaTyler. She's having a phone conversation you can hear about stealing stuff from a restaurant, then argues about whether or not ctOS can smell her farts.
*** Even funnier, ''you can actually find Aisha Tyler in the overworld as an NPC!'' Apparently she's under DedSec surveillance.

* One of the features of the game is [[BulletTime Focus]], which can allow you to easily [[BoomHeadshot blow an enemy's brains out]] or dodge between cars at high speed. If you time it right (or just get into the habit of using Focus while driving so that you can get around obstacles), you'll get a priceless image of Aiden (or T-Bone) flailing through the air in slow motion, especially if you were using a motorcycle. Perhaps made even funnier by, after this overdrawn sequence of slow-motion pain, Aiden stands right back up like nothing happened.

* In Parker Square, you can find a guy rapping. And he's ''really'' bad. And he will never stop. It sounds like what a lot of people who've never heard rap before think it sounds like.

'''Dad:''' But why is he talking to the guy...he just killed?\\

* At one point, you find a novelty singing trout. You can even hack it to sing.