History Funny / ToyStory

7th Jul '16 11:44:47 PM HarryLovesHermione
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** Ditto for Hamm. "Oh for crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!"

to:

** Ditto for Hamm.
-->'''Rex (panicked)''': "Any dinosaur-shaped [toys]?!"
-->'''Hamm''':
"Oh for crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!"
21st Mar '16 8:19:28 AM HeraldAlberich
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* Buzz earnestly explains to Woody his role in saving Earth, basically as R2-D2 in ''[[StarWars A New Hope]]''. His voice and the music build dramatically, then. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXu6lQqhieA Watch!]]
-->'''Buzz''': According to my navicomputer--
-->'''Woody''': [[BigShutUp Shut up!]] Just ''shut up'', you idiot!
-->'''Buzz''': Sheriff, [[ThisIsNoTimeToPanic this is no time to panic.]]
-->'''Woody''': This is the ''perfect'' time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move from their house in two days and [[NeverMyFault it's all your fault!]]
-->'''Buzz''': My?! ''My'' fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out the window in the first place--
-->'''Woody''': Oooaugh ''yeah''!? Well, if ''you'', hadn't shown up in [[YourLittleDismissiveDiminutive your stupid little cardboard spaceship]] and taken away everything that was important to me...
-->'''Buzz''': [[SkewedPriorities Don't talk to me about importance!]] Because of '''you''', [[CannotTellFictionFromReality the security of the entire universe is in jeopardy]]!
-->'''Woody''': [[BigWhat WHAT?!]] What are you talking about?!
-->'''[[ComicallySerious Buzz]]''': (glances up at the moon) [[DaydreamBeliever Right now poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet. I alone have information that reveal his weapon's only weaknesses.]] (turns back to Woody, who is reacting [[JawDrop as one]] [[StunnedSilence would expect]]) And ''you'', my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!\\
({{beat}}, and cue the ChirpingCrickets as the backsound)\\
'''Woody''': (Losing it) '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY!]]''''' You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\
(beat)\\
'''Buzz''': [[HypocriticalHumor You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell.]]\\

to:

* Buzz earnestly explains to Woody his role in saving Earth, basically as R2-D2 in ''[[StarWars A New Hope]]''.''Film/ANewHope''. His voice and the music build dramatically, then. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXu6lQqhieA Watch!]]
-->'''Buzz''': -->'''Buzz:''' According to my navicomputer--
-->'''Woody''':
navicomputer--\\
'''Woody:'''
[[BigShutUp Shut up!]] Just ''shut up'', you idiot!
-->'''Buzz''':
idiot!\\
'''Buzz:'''
Sheriff, [[ThisIsNoTimeToPanic this {{this is no time to panic.]]
-->'''Woody''':
panic}}.\\
'''Woody:'''
This is the ''perfect'' time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move from their house in two days and [[NeverMyFault it's all your fault!]]
-->'''Buzz''': My?!
fault!]]\\
'''Buzz:''' My fa--
''My'' fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out the window in the first place--
-->'''Woody''':
place--\\
'''Woody:'''
Oooaugh ''yeah''!? Well, if ''you'', hadn't shown up in [[YourLittleDismissiveDiminutive your stupid little cardboard spaceship]] and taken away everything that was important to me...
-->'''Buzz''':
me...\\
'''Buzz:'''
[[SkewedPriorities Don't talk to me about importance!]] Because of '''you''', [[CannotTellFictionFromReality the security of the entire universe is in jeopardy]]!
-->'''Woody''':
jeopardy]]!\\
'''Woody:'''
[[BigWhat WHAT?!]] What are you talking about?!
-->'''[[ComicallySerious Buzz]]''': (glances
about?!\\
'''[[ComicallySerious Buzz]]:''' ''[glances
up at the moon) moon]'' [[DaydreamBeliever Right now now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet. I alone have information that reveal his weapon's only weaknesses.]] (turns ''[turns back to Woody, who is reacting [[JawDrop as one]] [[StunnedSilence would expect]]) expect]]]'' And ''you'', my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!\\
({{beat}}, ''[{{beat}}, and cue the ChirpingCrickets as the backsound)\\
'''Woody''': (Losing it)
backsound]''\\
'''Woody:''' ''[losing it]''
'''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY!]]''''' You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\
(beat)\\
'''Buzz''':
''[beat]''\\
'''Buzz:'''
[[HypocriticalHumor You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell.]]\\]] ''[flashes a Vulcan salute]''\\



*** When ''Toy Story 3'' was knocked off of its 100 rotten tomatoes review level by two contrinarians who gave bad reviews because they wanted to be contrary, the director responded by tweeting ''[[TakeThatCritics "You are sad, strange little men, and you have my pity."]]''

to:

*** ** When ''Toy Story 3'' ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory3'' was knocked off of its 100 rotten tomatoes 100% Rotten Tomatoes review level by two contrinarians who gave bad reviews because they wanted to be contrary, the director responded by tweeting ''[[TakeThatCritics tweeting, [[TakeThatCritics "You are sad, strange little men, and you have my pity."]]''"]]



*** Buzz, looking all calm, says Woody's right and walks off to get it together.
-->"Oh, I'm a sham! Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!"

to:

*** ** Buzz, looking all calm, says Woody's right and walks off to get it together.
-->"Oh,
together, then:
--->'''Buzz:''' Oh,
I'm a sham! Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!"wasted!



** Best of all, it's a ShoutOut to a ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'' strip!

to:

** Best of all, it's a ShoutOut to a ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'' ''[[ComicStrip/TheFarSide Far Side]]'' strip!



* Mr. Potato Head and Hamm play ''Battleship,'' especially when you notice Potato has called every spot on Hamm's grid ''except the ones where his ships are.''

to:

* Mr. Potato Head and Hamm play ''Battleship,'' ''TabletopGame/{{Battleship}},'' especially when you notice Potato has called every spot on Hamm's grid ''except the ones where his ships are.''



*** Even better, they're playing ''STRIP Battleship''. Although how Hamm's supposed to strip would be FridgeLogic if he ever lost...
**** Well, there's his cork...

to:

*** ** Even better, they're playing ''STRIP Battleship''. Although how Hamm's supposed to strip would be FridgeLogic if he ever lost...
**** *** Well, there's his cork...



-->'''Woody:''' Buzz, could you give me a hand?
-->'''Buzz:''' (Throws his arm at Woody)
-->'''Woody:''' Aha...that's very funny, Buzz THISISSERIOUS!

to:

-->'''Woody:''' Buzz, could you get over here and give me a hand?
-->'''Buzz:''' (Throws
hand?\\
'''Buzz:''' ''[throws
his arm at Woody)
-->'''Woody:''' Aha...
Woody]''\\
'''Woody:''' Aha...
that's very funny, Buzz THISISSERIOUS!



-->'''Mr. Potato Head''': Wait just a minute, what are you trying to pull?!
-->'''Woody''': Nothing! (accidentally shows Buzz's disconnected arm, the other toys scream in terror)

to:

-->'''Mr. --->'''Mr. Potato Head''': Head:''' Wait just a minute, what are you trying to pull?!
-->'''Woody''':
pull?!\\
'''Woody:'''
Nothing! (accidentally ''[accidentally shows Buzz's disconnected arm, the other toys scream in terror)terror]''



--> '''Buzz''': I believe the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".
--> '''Woody''': The word I'm searching for, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar I can't say, because there's preschool toys present.]]
* In Toy Story Treats, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIhV3NzolS8 "Roadblock."]] It's just such a horrible joke, and Woody makes such a stupid face...

to:

--> '''Buzz''': -->'''Buzz:''' I believe the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".
--> '''Woody''':
Ranger".\\
'''Woody:'''
The word I'm searching for, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar I can't say, because there's preschool toys present.]]
* In Toy ''Toy Story Treats, Treats'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIhV3NzolS8 "Roadblock."]] It's just such a horrible joke, and Woody makes such a stupid face...



--> '''Woody:''' Your helmet does that, that-that...WOOSH thing!

to:

--> '''Woody:''' Your helmet does that, that-that...that--that WOOSH thing!



--> '''Mr. Potato Head''' ''[is turned away from the camera]'' Hey, look at me! ''[turns around, revealing that he has rearranged his face]'' I'm Potasso!
--> '''Hamm''' I don't get it. ''[walks away]''
--> '''Mr. Potato Head''' ''[at Hamm]'' You uncultured swine!

to:

--> '''Mr. -->'''Mr. Potato Head''' Head:''' ''[is turned away from the camera]'' Hey, look at me! Hamm, look! ''[turns around, revealing that he has rearranged his face]'' I'm Potasso!
--> '''Hamm'''
Potasso!\\
'''Hamm:'''
I don't get it. ''[walks away]''
-->
away]''\\
'''Mr. Potato Head''' Head:''' ''[at Hamm]'' You uncultured swine!



* '''Woody:''' (Grabbing Buzz and repeatedly pushing a button that makes his arm go up and down) Use your karate chop action!
--> '''Buzz:''' Hey, hey, how are you doing that!?

to:

* '''Woody:''' (Grabbing When Woody grabs Buzz and repeatedly pushing pushes a button that makes his arm go up and down) down.
-->'''Woody:'''
Use your karate chop action!
-->
action!\\
'''Buzz:''' Hey, hey, how are you doing that!?



* Buzz explains to Woody that revenge is something that isn't encouraged on his planet... then clarifies that they're not on his planet to which Woody responds with an OhCrap face and saying LittleNo.

to:

* Buzz explains to Woody that revenge is something that isn't encouraged on his planet... then clarifies that they're not on his planet planet, to which Woody responds with an OhCrap face and saying LittleNo.



-->'''Woody''': It's a special spaceship! I just saw it!\\
'''Buzz (excited)''': You mean it has hyperdrive?\\
'''Woody''': Hyper''active'' hyperdrive! And astro...uh...''turf''!

to:

-->'''Woody''': -->'''Woody:''' It's a special spaceship! I just saw it!\\
'''Buzz (excited)''': '''Buzz:''' ''[excited]'' You mean it has hyperdrive?\\
'''Woody''': '''Woody:''' Hyper''active'' hyperdrive! And astro...uh...astro... uh... ''turf''!



-->'''Buzz''': Sure is a hairy looking fella.
-->'''Woody''': No, that's Scud, you idiot!

to:

-->'''Buzz''': -->'''Buzz:''' Sure is a hairy looking fella.
-->'''Woody''': No,
fella.\\
'''Woody:''' No no,
that's Scud, you idiot!



* Can we just take the time to remember [[TimAllen Buzz]] dropping a [[HomeImprovement Binford]] toolbox on [[TomHanks Woody]]?

to:

* Can we just take the time to remember [[TimAllen [[Creator/TimAllen Buzz]] dropping a [[HomeImprovement [[Series/HomeImprovement Binford]] toolbox on [[TomHanks [[Creator/TomHanks Woody]]?



-->'''Rex''': Great! Now I have guilt.

to:

-->'''Rex''': -->'''Rex:''' Great! Now I have guilt.
16th Jan '16 11:56:07 PM nombretomado
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** Best of all, it's a ShoutOut to a ''FarSide'' strip!

to:

** Best of all, it's a ShoutOut to a ''FarSide'' ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'' strip!
14th Dec '15 6:08:55 PM KoopaKid17
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Added DiffLines:

* The toys have a MyGodWhatHaveIDone moment after they throw Woody off the moving truck but Rex takes it a step further.
-->'''Rex''': Great! Now I have guilt.
28th Nov '15 3:13:27 AM Sammettik
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* The whole exchange between Buzz and Woody right before the fight scene between the two of them.
-->'''Buzz:''' I just want you to know that even though you ''tried'' to terminate me, revenge is not an idea that we promote on my planet.\\
'''Woody:''' ''(cheerfully)'' Oh! Well, that's good!\\
'''Buzz:''' [[ExactWords But we're not on my planet,]] ''(pulls Woody in closer by the collar)'' '''[[PreAssKickingOneLiner are]]''' [[PreAssKickingOneLiner we?]]\\
'''Woody:''' [[OhCrap ...no.]]\\
''(Buzz tackles Woody, and they proceed to beating the everloving shit out of each other)''
** Woody's attempts to fight back, and getting his hand caught in Buzz collapsible helmet.
--> "Buzz! Buzz! Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!"



* The toys all panic when Andy's friends come with presents to potentially replace them... only to be disgusted when all of the presents are lame things like lunch boxes and bedsheets.
--> '''Mr. Potato Head''': Who invited ''that'' kid??
24th Nov '15 10:07:17 PM firejewel
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Added DiffLines:

** Woody's attempts to fight back, and getting his hand caught in Buzz collapsible helmet.
--> "Buzz! Buzz! Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!"
13th Sep '15 4:08:25 PM NWolfman
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Added DiffLines:

* The toys all panic when Andy's friends come with presents to potentially replace them... only to be disgusted when all of the presents are lame things like lunch boxes and bedsheets.
--> '''Mr. Potato Head''': Who invited ''that'' kid??
8th Sep '15 12:08:02 PM FELH2
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-->'''Woody:''' Hey guys, look, its the ''real'' Buzz Lightyear!

to:

-->'''Woody:''' Hey guys, look, its it's the ''real'' Buzz Lightyear!
17th Aug '15 11:11:00 PM BGinks
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Added DiffLines:

* Can we just take the time to remember [[TimAllen Buzz]] dropping a [[HomeImprovement Binford]] toolbox on [[TomHanks Woody]]?
16th Aug '15 5:58:30 PM NWolfman
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'''Woody''': '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY!]]''''' You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\

to:

'''Woody''': (Losing it) '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY!]]''''' You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\



** Made even funnier by Woody maintaining a look throughout Buzz's story that just screaming "Are you ''listening'' to the shit you're saying?!" until he finally snaps.

to:

** Made even funnier by Woody maintaining a look throughout Buzz's story that just screaming screams "Are you ''listening'' to the shit you're saying?!" until he finally snaps.
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