History Funny / TheSpectacularSpiderman

'''Peter:''' Oh? What's she like\\

-->'''Spiderman:''' (as he is being defenestrated) "The dictionary defines defenestration as the act of throwing a person or thing out a window... Really not my favorite word."

** Rhino rampages across the city to get to the Daily Bugle... then politely asks Foswell to hit the elevator button for him. 'Nuff said.

* In "Destructive Testing," after a rather embarrassing defeat, Sergei Kravinoff goes hunting for Spider-Man -- using his faithful lion to track locations that the webslinger has been to. What follows is a dialogue-less montage of Sergei and the lion's travels. At the Daily Bugle, we see lots of scared employees -- except Jameson, who based on body language, is clearly yelling at the hunter and the lion to get out of his office.

--> '''Spider-Man:''' I'm afraid I can't do that Mr...''[camera pans to reveal the source of the voice to be a caged parrot]'' Parrot.\\

-->'''Spider-Man:''' ...you've had more shots at me than Marko and O'Hirn -- and done about as well!\\

--->'''Spider-Man:''' ''[after throwing a traffic cone on Rhino's horn]'' Oh-ho-ho! I got the thing on the thing! What do I win?
--->'''Rhino:''' '''[enraged]'' '''[[YouExclamation YOU!]]'''\\

--->'''Electro:''' SHOW YOURSELF, [[CurseCutShort YOU WALL-CRAWLING]]-\\

--> '''Spider-Man''': Hey, wall-crawling's my shtick! You start spinning a web, and I'll sue!

-->'''Rhino:''' ...I hate you. ''So'' much.

*** Spidey's [[{{Troll}} trolling]] of Rhino in general tends to bring about a lot of funny one liners. For example;
----> '''Spider-Man''': Come one, come all, before your very eyes, the world's largest dehydrated turtle!

--> '''Aunt May''': I've just been visiting Anna and her niece, Mary Jane. A lovely girl. Oh, Peter, you must meet her!
--> '''Peter''': Oh? What's she like?
--> '''Aunt May''': Oh, she has a wonderful personality!
--> '''Peter''': D:

--->'''Goblin:''' ...Oh, don't tell me you like the Master Planner and his ''wonderful personality''! *shudders*

-->'''Doctor Octopus''': Now then arachnid, [[AnyLastWords any last words]]?\\
'''Spider-Man''': [[OhCrap "Humina humina humina" comes to mind.]]

--->'''Spider-Man''': Only six, huh? What happened, Lizard and Goblin had Knicks tickets?

-->'''Green Goblin''': You know the old saying: If you can't join 'em, BEAT 'em!
-->'''Spider-Man''': Took the words right outta my mouth. Is that a felony?
-->'''Green Goblin''': I certainly hope so. This little goblin wouldn't be caught dead committing a misdemeanour!

--> '''Spidey:''' Look, Doc, have you thought this through? The next Spider-Man who finds you under a pile of debris might view this as a cautionary tale.
--> '''Doc Ock''': (while repeatedly slamming Spidey around) [[PunctuatedPounding Glib! Does not! Equate! With clever! Spider-Man!]]
--> '''Spidey:''' Yeah, well, the ratio of arms-to-sanity hasn't exactly been established either.
--> '''Doc Ock:''' Do you ever ''SHUT UP''?!
--> '''Spidey:''' Sorry, no. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall My fans expect a certain amount of quippage in every battle]].

--> (After Green Goblin suggests that he and Spider-Man team-up and rule NYC together).
--> '''Spidey:''' Are we talking Manhattan or all five? Nah. Sorry, I make it a rule not to partner with anyone green. Or, you know, psychotic.

--> '''Jonah:''' Robbie, scratch that headline, (mumbles) give the credit to Spider-Man. TO SPIDER-MAN, CONFOUND IT! But fire Parker, the kid never showed up! [[BigWhat WHAT]]?! What do you mean, he just ''e-mailed'' photos?!

-->'''Bernard:''' (''greeting everyone'') Mr. Osborn, Master Harry... Spider-Man.

-->'''Spidey:''' There she is! And with [[JerkJock Flash]]. Ew! Well, at least Flash isn't evil... well, at least he's not possessed by an evil symbiote.
-->'''*beat*'''
-->'''Spidey:''' (''with suspicion''} At least not as far as I know...

* In "Destructive Testing," after a rather embarrassing defeat, Sergei Kravinoff goes hunting for Spider-Man - using his faithful lion to track locations that the webslinger has been to. What follows is a dialogue-less montage of Sergei and the lion's travels. At the Daily Bugle, we see lots of scared employees - except Jameson, who based on body language, is clearly yelling at the hunter and the lion to get out of his office.

--> '''Peter:''' Boss, I'd like a word...
--> '''Jonah:''' How 'bout "scram?" Or two words, "scram kid." Or seventeen! "Get out of my office in two-point-three seconds or I'll staple you to a flagpole!"
--> ''[Beat]''
--> '''Peter:''' ...H-how did you count so... never mind.

---> '''Jonah:''' Soon he'll be caught, jailed, and run out of town!
---> '''Peter:''' (muttering as he stalks off) How can he be jailed ''and'' run out of town?

-->'''Rhino:''' ''(groggily)'' I swear I'll crush you! Promised Big Man I'd crush you! Crush you... crush you... crush you...\\

'''Rhino:''' ''(whining childishly)'' [[NonSequiturThud Mama, do I have to go to school?]]

--> '''Tombstone:''' I really should start locking those windows.

-->"Aw man, my money!"

-->"Awww, my big score!"

--> '''Flash:''' She's, like, totally immune to The Flash!
--> '''Peter:''' 'Cause she's got a brain?
--> '''Flash:''' Exactly!

--->'''Flash:''' You need to make sure I don't say nothin' to make Sha Shan think I'm stupid.
--->'''Peter:''' Uh, dude? Ship? ''Sailed''.
--->'''Flash:''' ''Shuddup!''

--> '''Spider-Man:''' Is there anyone in here?
--> '''Voice:''' Get lost!
--> '''Spider-Man:''' I'm afraid I can't do that Mr...''(camera pans to reveal the source of the voice to be a caged parrot)'' Parrot.
--> '''Parrot:''' Get lost! RAWK! Get lost! RAWK! Get lost!

-->'''Jameson''': I'm giddy like a schoolgirl!

--->'''Jameson''': He did it! My boy did it... HEY, HEY! I'm not paying you bums to watch television! Get me a new layout in seventeen seconds OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!

-->'''Spider-Man''': ...you've had more shots at me than Marko and O'Hirn - and done about as well!
-->'''Shocker''': Them boys are ''punks''. This is my ''profession''!
-->'''Spider-Man''': You do this for a living? With that accent, [[BriefAccentImitation Ah wuz thinkin' ro-de-o clown!]]
-->'''Shocker''': Don't you '''mock me''', boy!
-->'''Spider-Man''': Hey, I mock. [[ItsWhatIDo I'm a mocker]]. Also a puller, a tugger, a yanker...

--->'''Spider-Man''': (After throwing a traffic cone on Rhino's horn) Oh-ho-ho! I got the thing on the thing! What do I win?
--->'''Rhino''': (enraged) '''[[YouExclamation YOU!]]'''
--->'''Spider-Man''': I win ''me''?! That makes no sense.

'''Electro:''' ...[[FlatWhat What?]] ''(gets webbed up)'' Ugh!\\
'''Spider-Man:''' ''(sigh)'' I burhned my tonghh, okay?\\
''(Vulture shows up)''\\

-->'''Spider-Man''': I know I'll regret this, but...you wanna partner up to destroy it?
-->'''Rhino''': (''bursts out into jolly laughter, followed by a beat'') Okay.

--->'''Spider-Man''' What, no high-fives, no kumbayas?! I am shocked, ''[[SarcasmMode shocked]]'', I tell you!

--> '''Sandman''': I've had bad experiences with cats.

-->'''Jonah with CrossPoppingVeins''': TO RAISE MY BLOOD-PRESSURE!

-->'''Jonah''': Woah, I thought I was just making an excuse!

--->'''Jonah''': ZIP IT! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO HEAR!

-->'''Electro:''' "Without a cure, I'm not Max Dillon! I'm...what did you call me?"
-->'''Spider-Man:''' "...Lightning butt?"
-->'''Electro:''' "No! Not that!"

-->'''Spider-Man''': So, [[InsaneTrollLogic you'll rob the piggy bank, but won't touch the cookie jar?]] [[SarcasmMode You must qualify for nephew-of-the-year.]] Twisted division.

--> '''Norman:''' ''(sits silently for several seconds, obviously thinking about it)'' ... ''No.''

--->'''Spider-Man''': Only six, huh? What happened, Lizard and Goblin had Nix tickets?

--> '''Doc Ock''': (while repeatedly slamming Spidey around) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Glib! Does not! Equate! With clever! Spider-Man!]]

--> '''Spider-Man:''' I'm afraid I can't do that Mr...[camera pans to reveal the source of the voice to be a caged parrot] Parrot.

--->'''Spider-Man''': (After throwing a traffic cone on Rhino's horn) Hey! I got the thing on the thing! What do I win?

'''Spider-Man:''' Now, now, wathh the mouthh! Thewwa thildwen pwesenn. [[labelnote:translation]] Now, now, watch the mouth! [[ThinkOfTheChildren There are children present.]] [[/labelnote]]\\

'''Spider-Man:''' *sigh* I burhned my tonghh, okay?\\

* When Flash lands the role of Bottom in the school production of ''Theatre/AMidsummerNightsDream'', Sha Shan imagines him with a donkey head, then tells him [[StealthInsult he won't need much time to prepare]].

** And earlier, when he is whining to Joan during the performance, another attendee, [[TheVoiceless Hobie Brown]], turns around to shush him.

--> '''Norman:''' ''(sits silently for several seconds, obviously thinking about it)'' ... ''No.''
* [[RunningGag Doc Ock’s coffee mug reads]] [[CardCarryingVillain “EVIL GENIUS”]]

* [[RunningGag Doc Ock’s coffee mug reads]] [[CardCarryingVillain “EVIL GENIUS”))

--> '''Norman:''' ''(sits silently for several seconds, obviously thinking about it)'' ... ''No.''

--> '''Doc Ock:''' Do you ever ''SHUT UP''?!?

--> '''Jonah:''' Robbie, scratch that headline, (mumbles) give the credit to Spider-Man. TO SPIDER-MAN, CONFOUND IT! But fire Parker, the kid never showed up! [[BigWhat WHAT]]!? What do you mean, he just ''e-mailed'' photos!?

'''Spider-Man:''' Reetthi? Ith thewwa wevolving doow ah tha pwithin? [[labelnote:translation]] [[CardboardPrison Really? Is there a revolving door at that prison?]] [[/labelnote]]\\
'''Vulture:''' [[BigWhat What!?]]

-->'''Doctor Octopus''': Now then arachnid,[[AnyLastWords any last words]]?\\

-->'''Doctor Octopus''': [[AnyLastWords Any last words]], arachnid?\\

--> '''Norman:''' ''(sits silently for several seconds, obviously thinking about it)'' ... ''No.'''

** Then in the course of beating them up, Spidey gets each of the robbers in the face with a pie.

--->"Awww, my big score!"

--->'''Spider-Man''': ...you've had more shots at me than Marko and O'Hirn - and done about as well!
--->'''Shocker''': Them boys are ''punks''. This is my ''profession''!
--->'''Spider-Man''': You do this for a living? With that accent, [[BriefAccentImitation Ah wuz thinkin' ro-de-o clown!]]
--->'''Shocker''': Don't you '''mock me''', boy!
--->'''Spider-Man''': Hey, I mock. [[ItsWhatIDo I'm a mocker]]. Also a puller, a tugger, a yanker...

--> '''Spider-Man''': Come one, come all, before your very eyes, the world's largest dehydrated turtle!

-->'''Goblin:''' ...Oh, don't tell me you like the Master Planner and his ''wonderful personality''! *shudders*

--> '''Jonah:''' Soon he'll be caught, jailed, and run out of town!
--> '''Peter:''' (muttering as he stalks off) How can he be jailed ''and'' run out of town?

-->"Awww, my big score!"

-->'''Flash:''' You need to make sure I don't say nothin' to make Sha Shan think I'm stupid.
-->'''Peter:''' Uh, dude? Ship? ''Sailed''.

-->'''Jameson''': He did it! My boy did it... HEY, HEY! I'm not paying you bums to watch television! Get me a new layout in seventeen seconds OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!

-->'''Spider-Man''' What, no high-fives, no kumbayas?! I am shocked, ''[[SarcasmMode shocked]]'', I tell you!

-->'''Jonah''': ZIP IT! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO HEAR!

-->"Woah, I thought I was just making an excuse!"

-->'''Electro:''' "No! Not that!"

-->'''Electro:''' SHOW YOURSELF, [[CurseCutShort YOU WALL-CRAWLING]]-\\

'''Spider-Man''': [[OhCrap "Humina human humina" comes to mind.]]

* Spidey's reaction to being face with the Sinister Six deserves a mention.

-->'''Doctor Octopus''': [[AnyLastWords Any last words, Arachnid?]]\\
'''Spider-Man''': [[OhCrap Humina humina humina comes to mind.]]

* Peter having to fight Electro and Vulture after scalding his tongue on hot cocoa, until it heals. It winds up giving him ElmuhFuddSyndwome.
-->'''Electro:''' SHOW YOURSELF, [[CurseCutShort YOU WALL-CRAWLING]]-\\
'''Spider-Man:''' Now, now, wathh the mouthh! Thewwa thildwen pwesenn. [[labelnote:translation]] Now, now, watch the mouth! [[ThinkOfTheChildren There are children present.]] [[/labelnote]]\\
'''Electro:''' ...[[FlatWhat What?]] ''(gets webbed up)'' Ugh!\\
'''Spider-Man:''' *sigh* I burhned my tonghh, okay?\\
''(Vulture shows up)''\\
'''Spider-Man:''' Reetthi? Ith thewwa wevolving doow ah tha pwithin? [[labelnote:translation]] [[CardboardPrison Really? Is there a revolving door at that prison?]] [[/labelnote]]\\
'''Vulture:''' [[BigWhat What!?]]

-->'''Rhino:''' (completely deadpan) I hate you. So much.

* During the battle with the Lizard :