History Funny / TheSandman1989

* Gaiman wasn't allowed to have a character discuss the act of [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbation]], because, he was told, masturbation doesn't happen in the DC Universe. He replied that this explained quite a lot about the DC Universe.

* In ''Rhe Wake'', Delirium's first name for the Endless' envoy is "Plippy Ploppy Cheesenose."

* Speaking of Thor, due to his partying the night of the banket, he wakes up with a hunge hangover represented by a [[VisualPun thunderstorm cloud above his head]]. Due to that, he has to plead Odin to speak lower, he is in a horrible mood and even some of his ''speech bubbles'' have campagne bubbles on it.

'''Dream''': Before the '''humans'''.

* When Morpheus encounters Hector Hall, then having become a colorful, clownish superhero called the Sandman, the normally stoic Dream of the Endless [[ActuallyPrettyFunny bursts into hysterical laughter]] at just how ridiculous it is.

** Two centuries later, they're interrupted by Lady Johanna Constantine, who says she heard about a tavern where the Devil and the WanderingJew meet every century. [[DistinctionWithoutADifference So one says he's not the Devil, and the other says he's not Jewish.]]
* In ''The Dreaming'' #10 the protagonist Bridget is in the dreaming and wonders to Matthew if she's dead. [[spoiler:In bursts her third grade teacher, a nun. Keep in mind people only go to hell in this universe because they have some kind of internal guilt or desire to be punished.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Matthew''': You're catholic? Shit! Run for it!]]

-->"Many years ago, I convinced Thor of the Aesir that the reason for his impotence was that he was pregnant (he's not very bright). And I told him to lie face down and naked on his sleeping furs until I came and delivered him of child. I was disguised as a wandering physician. So I fed him a gallon of castor oil, painted his arse blue and shoved a cork in his bum-hole. I told him it was the cure for his condition. Then I went off to sleep with his wife. So Thor is lying face down with a cork up his fundament for a week and a day, while his insides continue to rumble their course. And now he's got a pain in his gut like you wouldn't believe, as the pressure continues to build. I'd told him he might experience some pain. That it was common in pregnancy. Suddenly, into the room, through an open window, bounds Ratatosk, the squirrel who lives in the branches of the world tree. Ratatosk is curious as any little squirrel. And he climbs on top of Thor's squirming, straining buttocks, and he--pulls ''out'' the cork. '''THRRRRRPPPPP!''' It's an explosion -- eight days' worth of oiled shit thunders forth from the fundament of the Lord of Storms. And the mighty Thor sits up, and looks around, and sees Ratatosk on the ground, stunned, gassed, and befouled. And slowly, with hands as big as ham hocks, he picks up the little animal, and stares at it. And then, with one ponderous motion, he clasps it to his bosom. ''You're ugly'', he says, ''you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!''"

* Death throwing a loaf of bread at Dream's head. His expression and the BIP! sound effect just add to the hilarity.
** Just before, Dream had effortlessly caught an incoming soccer ball without even looking at it, showing off his perceptive skills. That his elder sister could stun him like that... heh.

* In ''Seasons Of Mist'', the emissary of Order takes the form of a cardboard box. A sacred one, of course, carried by an elaborately dressed and [[ComicallySerious remarkably pretentious]] [[OrderIsNotGood slave.]] In fact, the entire banquet and most of the subsequent negotiations. Partly because there are none more [[TheComicallySerious comically serious]] than the King of Dreams. [[http://www.comicoo.com/sandman/Sandman26/html/image17.htm You can have my balloon if you like.]] Just look at him!

* The Audible adaptation of the comic has some extra funny moments sprinked in, such as when Dream stops Thor from creating a thunderstorm inside his palace. In the comic he just waves his hand and says it's taken care of; in the Audible version we can hear Thor's ranting and raving in the distance, as well as his surprised reaction when the thunderstorm stops:

--> '''Scarecrow''': It sounds ''scary''. Have a nice time. And you must promise when you get back - to tell me ''all'' about it.

* In ''The Kindly Ones'', Rose has an EroticDream involving her and her ex-boyfriend, but halfway through finds Abel on top of the cupboard, peeping at them. Abel of all people voyeuring at erotic dreams and trying to stammer an explanation is funny in itself, but what really seals the deal is the ''popcorn'' he had.
* Gaiman wasn't allowed to have a character discuss the act of [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbation]], because, he was told, masturbation doesn't happen in the DC Universe. He replied that this explained quite a lot.

* Doctor Destiny, in ''Preludes and Nocturnes'', decides to screw with a diner full of people. It becomes quite dark and scary, although there is one moment wherein he screws with a kid's TV show where the kids-anchor instructs the kids to commit suicide and says "And remember to slash down the wrist, not across". It's [[BlackComedy funny in a rather twisted way]].
* In ''Fables and Reflections'', a young man has possession of a book misplaced from Dream's library. Lucien tries to buy it from him, but the only price the man will take is meeting the local duke's beautiful daughter. Lucien finally relents, sneaking him through the library, and desperately hoping Morpheus does not notice...naturally he's [[RightBehindMe standing right there]]. With his arms crossed and a look like he just caught a teenager sneaking back in late at night.

* Mazikeen's nearly unintelligible speech comes from Neil Gaiman creating her dialogue by trying to speak using only half of his mouth, and writing down phonetically what came out. That must have been an interesting scripting session...

* Mazikeen's nearly unintelligible speech comes from Neil Gaiman creating her dialogue by trying to speak using only half of his mouth, and writing down phonetically what came out. That must have been an interesting scripting session...
* When a kid's TV show is corrupted and the host tells everyone to slash their wrists. [[CrossesTheLineTwice "And remember to slash down the wrist, not across".]]

* Mazikeen's nearly unintelligible speech comes from Neil Gaiman creating her dialogue by trying to speak using only half of his mouth, and writing down phonetically what came out. That must have been an interesting scripting session...

* Abel retelling [[CainAndAbel the story of how he died]] and came to Dreamland, complete with {{Chibi}} Death and Dream.

** This becomes HarsherInHindsight [[spoiler:when it is revealed that his behaviour is almost certainly caused by knowing that he has to MercyKill Orpheus. So no, Dream is ''not'' all right.]]

* In ''Seasons Of Mist'', the emissary of order takes the form of a cardboard box (a sacred one, of course). In fact, the entire banquet and most of the subsequent negotiations. Partly because there are none more [[TheComicallySerious comically serious]] than the King of Dreams. [[http://www.comicoo.com/sandman/Sandman26/html/image17.htm You can have my balloon if you like.]] Just look at him!

-->'''Pegasus''':[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness ...Is he]] [[TookALevelInKindness all right]]?

* Gaiman wasn't allowed to have a character discuss the act of masturbation, because, he was told, masturbation doesn't happen in the DC Universe. He replied that this explained quite a lot.

-->'''Pegasus''':[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness ...Is he]] [[TookALevelInKindness all right]]?
* When DC editors told Gaiman that [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbation]] was off limits to mention in the comic, as "no one in the DC Universe masturbates," he replied with this quote:
-->''Actually, that explains a lot. That’s probably why the characters all dress in tight costumes and go around thumping the shit out of each other.''

-->'''Actually, that explains a lot. That’s probably why the characters all dress in tight costumes and go around thumping the shit out of each other.'''

-->'''Pegasus''':[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness ...Is he]] [[TookALevelInKindness all right]]?

* At the end of ''The Kindly Ones'', when Lyta awakes from her trance, the book Thessaly is reading is titled "When Real Things Happen To Imaginary People". One assumes that the back cover features pull quotes from Creator/JossWhedon and Creator/GeorgeRRMartin.

* In ''Fables and Reflections'', a young man has possession of a book misplaced from Dream's library. Lucien tries to buy it from him, but the only price the man will take is meeting the local duke's beautiful daughter. Lucien finally relents, sneaking him through the library, and desperately hoping Morpheus does not notice...naturally he's [[RightBehindMe standing right there]]. With his arms crossed and a look like he just caught a teenager sneaking back in late at night.

* Doctor Destiny, in ''Preludes and Nocturnes'', decides to screw with a diner full of people. It becomes quite dark and scary, although there is one moment wherein he screws with a kid's TV show where the kids-anchor instructs the kids to commit suicide and says "And remember to slash down the wrist, not across". It's [[BlackComedy funny in a rather twisted way]].

-->'''Morpheus:''' Ah. Fascinating.

* During ''The Kindly Ones'', the Corinthian tries to [[spoiler:strangle [[NorseMythology Loki]]. At one point, Loki shapeshifts into fire. The Corinthian's response? "Oww."]]

-->'''Gwen:'''Prithee milord, how dost I look?
-->'''Hob:'''Thou look'st passing fair, milady, except that thou manglest the King's good English and your tits are hanging out.