History Funny / ThePJs

-->'''Walter''': I can see, I can see! I also think I can fly! What's your secret? Crack pepper?\\
'''Smokey''': Close.

--->'''Walter''': Well now, that's just sad...

-->'''Sanchez''': *sitting completely alone in the deserted front court* The friendships...\\
'''Haiti Lady''': The proximity to Hell!\\
'''Mrs. Avery''': That I'm going to die soon and get out of here! This place makes me sick!\\
'''Mrs. Avery''': *watching herself on screen* My god, who is that bitter old man? The projects are a wonderful place, full of kindhearted folks like me!

-->'''Walter''': Thurgood! I told you about my childhood in complete confidence!\\
'''Thurgood''': Not YOU, Walter!

--->'''Walter''': It was on a night like this, when the moon was full, that Red Moley would pounce! *beat* That Red Moley would jump out of the bushes and SCARE CHILDREN!! *beat* ''WHEN RED MOLEY WOULD STOP TAKING A LEAK AND HIT HIS CUE!!'' *cut to Thurgood doing exactly that, and zips up his pants too fast*\\
'''Thurgood''': *rushes out of the dark* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!\\
'''Juicy/Calvin''': AHHHHHH!! *runs off*\\
'''Walter''': Hehe, good work Thurgood, you can stop screaming now.\\
'''Thurgood''': NO I CAN'T, I'M STUCK IN MY ZIPPER!!

--> '''Sanchez''': See the horrible freak of nature! *audience stares at him* Not me! In there!

-->'''Thurgood''': Now this stuff is toxic so make sure you wear your masks.\\
'''Juicy''': *is wearing a princess Halloween mask* Like this?\\
'''Thurgood''': *sighs* Just let him be, Thurgood. [[TooDumbToLive It's natural selection]].

--->'''Haiti Lady''': Well, it's like this, Super. Things are a little tight this month.\\
'''Thurgood''': Oh yeah, are they as tight as a ''standing room spot on a raft back to Haiti?!''\\
'''Haiti Lady''': Oh, keep the change *pays him*\\
'''Thurgood''': Yeah, I thought not!\\

'''Thurgood''': Hudson! Open up, it's rent day!\\
'''Pa!Hudson''': I need an extension!\\
'''Thurgood''': Well, for how long?\\
'''Pa!Hudson''': No, I mean for my arm! I can't reach my wallet!

-->'''Mrs. Avery''': Haiti Lady, thank goodness you're here! I need you to put a whammy on Sanchez!
-->'''Haiti Lady''': Again? Wasn't his throat enough?
-->'''Sanchez''': Hey...
-->'''Thurgood''': Oh, please, the only magic she got is magic shave, and clearly that don't work either.
-->''Haiti Lady grumbles''
-->'''Sanchez''': No, no, she has voodoo - I didn't get this throat by chance! *begins lighting a cigarette*
-->'''Haiti Lady''': ''I'' have the power, and I'll prove it - you'll both die in the future!
-->''Thurgood rolls his eyes. Mrs. Avery starts trembling, jaw dropped''
-->'''Sanchez''': [flatly] Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
-->''Haiti Lady crosses her arms and smugly grins''

'''Pa!Hudson''': No, I mean for my arm! I can't reach my wallet!

* While taking the boys out camping in the Hood, Thurgood tells the story of Red Moley, [[Franchise/ANightmareOnElmStreet the bastard son of a thousand maniacs]]!
-->'''Walter''': Thurgood! I told you about my childhood in confidence!\\

'''Walter''': Hehe, good work Thurgood, you can stop screaming now.\

** Walter takes over storytelling duty while Thurgood sneaks off to prepare a scare for the boys. It doesnt go as planned.

'''Thurgood'''': *rushes out of the dark* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!\\

--> '''Walter''': I can see, I can see! I also think I can fly! What's your secret? Crack pepper?
--> '''Smokey''': Close.

--> '''Walter''': Well now, that's just sad...

--> '''Sanchez''': *sitting completely alone in the deserted front court* The friendships...
--> '''Haiti Lady''': The proximity to Hell!
--> '''Mrs. Avery''': That I'm going to die soon and get out of here! This place makes me sick!
--> '''Mrs. Avery''': *watching herself on screen* My god, who is that bitter old man? The projects are a wonderful place, full of kindhearted folks like me!

--> '''Walter''': Thurgood! I told you about my childhood in confidence!
--> '''Thurgood''': Not YOU, Walter!

--> '''Walter''': It was on a night like this, when the moon was full, that Red Moley would pounce! *beat* That Red Moley would jump out of the bushes and SCARE CHILDREN!! *beat* ''WHEN RED MOLEY WOULD STOP TAKING A LEAK AND HIT HIS CUE!!'' *cut to Thurgood doing exactly that, and zips up his pants too fast*
--> '''Thurgood'''': *rushes out of the dark* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
--> '''Juicy/Calvin''': AHHHHHH!! *runs off*
--> '''Walter''': Hehe, good work Thurgood, you can stop screaming now.
--> '''Thurgood''': NO I CANT, I'M STUCK IN MY ZIPPER!!

--> '''Thurgood''': Now this stuff is toxic so make sure you wear your masks.
--> '''Juicy''': *is wearing a princess Halloween mask* Like this?
--> '''Thurgood''': *sighs* Just let him be, Thurgood. [[TooDumbToLive It's natural selection]].
** Earlier in the episode, Thurgood goes around collecting the months rent from the tenants.
---> '''Haiti Lady''': Well, it's like this, Super. Things are a little tight this month.
---> '''Thurgood''': Oh yeah, are they as tight as a ''standing room spot on a raft back to Haiti?!''
---> '''Haiti Lady''': Oh, keep the change *pays him*
---> '''Thurgood''': Yeah, I thought not!

---> '''Thurgood''': Hudson! Open up, it's rent day!
---> '''Pa!Hudson''': I need an extension!
---> '''Thurgood''': Well, for how long?
---> '''Pa!Hudson''': No, I mean for my arm! I can't reach my wallet!

** The winner of the Gumbo Cookoff: Smokey. Why? His "secret spices" restored Walters ability to see after Thurgoods sabotaged gumbo blinded him (Thurgood had spiked it with his noxious cologne). This is even better when you see that Smokey used a pigeon for the meat.

* When Smokey is given his prize, a state-of-the-art gumbo cooker, he's tear-eyed with gratitude.... and walks off with it's BOX, thinking it's a mobile home with no rent.
--> '''Walter''': Well now, thats just sad...
** The project residents taking part in Muriel's documentary, and saying what they like most about living there.

--> '''Mrs Avery''': That I'm going to die soon and get out of here! This place makes me sick!
--> '''Mrs Avery''': *watching herself on screen* My god, who is that bitter old man? The projects are a wonderful place, full of kindhearted folks like me!

** The projects hold a carnival to raise money for Juicy and Calvin's camp, and Sanchez runs the freak show.

** Mr Thurgood's Wild Ride, which just consists of being stuffed in a toxic waste canister and shoved off the roof.

--> '''Thurgood''': *sighs* Just let him be, Thurgood. It's natural selection.

--> '''Haiti Lady''': Well, it's like this, Super. Things are a little tight this month.
--> '''Thurgood''': Oh yeah, are they as tight as a ''standing room spot on a raft back to Haiti?!''
--> '''Haiti Lady''': Oh, keep the change *pays him*
--> '''Thurgood''': Yeah, I thought not!

--> '''Thurgood''': Hudson! Open up, it's rent day!
--> '''Pa!Hudson''': I need an extension!
--> '''Thurgood''': Well, for how long?
--> '''Pa!Hudson''': No, I mean for my arm! I can't reach my wallet!

* While taking the boys out camping in the Hood, Thurgood tells the story of Red Moley, the bastard son of a thousand maniacs!

** Mr Thurgood's Wild Ride, which just consists of being stuffed in a toxic waste canister and shoved off the roof.

** Walter: I can see, I can see! I also think I can fly!

** Walter: Well now, thats just sad...

** Walter: Thurgood! I told you about my childhood in confidence!
** Thurgood: Not YOU, Walter!
* Walter takes over storytelling duty while Thurgood sneaks off to prepare a scare for the boys. It doesnt go as planned.
** Walter: It was on a night like this, when the moon was full, that Red Moley would pounce! *beat* That Red Moley would jump out of the bushes and SCARE CHILDREN!! *beat* WHEN RED MOLEY WOULD STOP TAKING A LEAK AND HIT HIS CUE!! *cut to Thurgood doing exactly that, and zips up his pants too fast*
** Thurgood: *rushes out of the dark* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
** Juicy/Calvin: AHHHHHH!! *runs off*
** Walter: Hehe, good work Thurgood, you can stop screaming now.
** Thurgood: NO I CANT, I'M STUCK IN MY ZIPPER!!