History Funny / TheLongestDay

-->'''[[Creator/{{Bourvil}} Mayor of Colleville]]:''' "Velkum! Velkum to yurr all!"

** "Velkum! Velkum to yurr all!"

--> ''[after performing a PercussiveMaintenance on a Bren carrier]'' "Now move along! The sooner you get off this beach, the sooner the Germans will stop this blasted shelling! It's very bad for the dog!"

--> "Now move along! The sooner you get off this beach, the sooner the Germans will stop this blasted shelling! It's very bad for the dog!"

** Twinned with the Frenchman who watches Fröbe deliver the coffee every morning. He's ecstatically waving his Tricolore from his window even as the naval bombardment is tearing his house down.

* An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Gert Fröbe) is minding his own business delivering coffee to the bunkers, he then sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up]]. His reaction is understandable.

* AdolfHitler and his top brass carry the IdiotBall.

* In a footnote in the book, there is a story about the press landing on the beach and not being able to use the radio to send their stories in (apparently the person in charge of the cleared beach had not been told that this was acceptable) and were forced to used carrier pigeons. The pigeons, so overloaded with short news stories, had a difficult time getting off of the ground. A few that did flew straight into the German lines, causing one reporter to curse them as traitors.

* An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Gert Fröbe) delivering coffee to the bunkers sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up.]]

* Capt. Colin Maud (Kenneth More): "Now move along! The sooner you get off this beach, the sooner the Germans will stop this blasted shelling! It's very bad for the dog!"

* [A Bren-Carrier is having engine trouble] "My old grandmother used to say, 'Anything mechanical, [[PercussiveMaintenance give it a good bash]].'" [whacks vehicle with shillelagh - engine starts, much to everyone's surprise]
* "If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach."

-->"Terribly sorry, old man. We simply landed here by accident."

* An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Gert Fröbe) delivering coffee to the bunkers sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up.]]

* Everything out of Sean Connery's mouth. "The evil of it all, trying to drown a man before he's had a chance to fight!"

* In the early scenes, one man discusses his wife's pregnancy with another: [[LampShadeHanging "... Oh, it's]] [[DearJohn not mine."]]

** Capt. Colin Maud (Kenneth More): "Now move along! The sooner you get off this beach, the sooner the Germans will stop this blasted shelling! It's very bad for the dog!"
* [a Bren-Carrier is having engine trouble] "My old grandmother used to say, 'Anything mechanical, [[PercussiveMaintenance give it a good bash]].'" [whacks vehicle with shillelagh - engine starts, much to everyone's surprise]

** "Velkum! Velkum to yurrall!"

* CrowningMomentOfFunny
** An overweight Wehrmacht sergeant (Gert Fröbe) delivering coffee to the bunkers sees the huge allied invasion fleet steaming off the coast of Normandy [[OhCrap just before the bombardment opens up.]]

** [a Bren-Carrier is having engine trouble] "My old grandmother used to say, 'Anything mechanical, [[PercussiveMaintenance give it a good bash]].'" [whacks vehicle with shillelagh - engine starts, much to everyone's surprise]
** "If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach."
*** "Velkum! Velkum to yurrall!"
** A group of lost paratroopers and a German patrol run into each other in the dark and neither realizes they've met the enemy. Both groups walk past each other without concern except for the paratrooper at the end of the column who goes "Wait a second..."
*** Actually, these two groups knew ''too well'' their respective counterparts were enemies. But they noticed too late, literally when they were beside each other. So they do the wisest thing anybody can do in this situation: to walk on and pretend nothing happened.
** "Those 5000 ships you say the Allies haven't got? WELL THEY'VE GOT THEM!"
*** And a little before that: [[ArmchairMilitary "Pluskat, where are those ships heading?"]] "STRAIGHT FOR ME!"
** Col. Josef 'Pips' Priller (to his commanding officer): "You were a lousy pilot when we flew into Russia. Now you're flying a desk ''and you're still a lousy pilot!''"
** Everything out of Sean Connery's mouth. "The evil of it all, trying to drown a man before he's had a chance to fight!"
** AdolfHitler and his top brass carry the IdiotBall.

*** Actually, these two groups knew ''too well'' their respective counterparts were enemies. But they noticed too late, literally when they were beside each other. So they do the wissest thing anybody can do in this situation; to walk on and pretend nothing happened.

** "If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a [[UnderStatement lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach]]."

** Capt. Colin Maud (Kenneth More): "Now move along! You're upsetting the dog!"

** "If you ask me, Flanagan, there's a lot of very peculiar blokes on this beach."