History Funny / TheHollywoodSquares

* Meta example, but a mid-70s Rich Little special had this [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8-nmqm5RlM parody]] [[JustForFun/XMeetsY mashup]] of this and ''Film/TheToweringInferno'', ''The Towering Squares'', featuring much of the regulars (including Paul Lynde) on the actual set who are [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere trying to flee the smoking Squares]], and yet [[TheShowMustGoOn Peter Marshall continues with the game]] [[WeirdnessCensor as if nothing's wrong]].

* She had plenty of groanworthy LargeHam moments on the show, but Melissa Peterman's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rK0__tMW2g#t=218s "Possessed at the Oscars"]] bit just about cracked everyone up.

'''Bergeron''': I guess that Emmy nomination is shot to shit for another year!

* John Davidson's response to the question "Traditionally, Japanese brides used to shave what off at the time of their marriage?" [[Answer]]Eyebrows[[/Answer]] The question was already practically begging for less-than-wholesome thoughts in regards to the answer, but Davidson (who was trying to ''avoid'' them) [[AccidentalInnuendo accidentally]] took it even further:

* John Davidson's response to the question "Traditionally, Japanese brides used to shave what off at the time of their marriage?" The question was already practically begging for less-than-wholesome thoughts in regards to the answer, but Davidson (who was trying to ''avoid'' them) [[AccidentalInnuendo accidentally]] took it even further:

* From the ''H2'' days, this contestant's enthusiastic responses to winning a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKcwDlDkaGA car]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv7mNW_3JBs $25,000]], and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKcwDlDkaGA a trip around the world]], respectively; in fact, "enthusiastic" might be too strong a word....

* From the ''H2'' days, this contestant's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKcwDlDkaGA enthusiastic]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv7mNW_3JBs responses]] to winning a car and $25,000, respectively; in fact, "enthusiastic" might be too strong a word....

-->'''Bergeron:''' The National Enquirer tells us we'll be seeing something different about the actresses on Baywatch. What?

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WX3VDmB-taA&t=100s This]] Gilbert Gottfried mishap that led to an [[OverlyLongGag uncalled-for one-minute joke]]:
-->'''Bergeron:''' Where would you find ''Thor'', ''Grouge'', and the ''Fat Broad''?\\
'''Gottfried:''' On the View.\\
(''laughter and a bit of groans'')\\
'''Mull:''' Okay...\\
'''Gottfried:''' I think it's Frank- or Fragile Rock.\\
(''Tom gives Gilbert a confused look'')\\
'''Gottfried:''' (''as lots of people laugh'') Fraggin...Fragglerotten...Fragmin...Frymanrotten...'''FROYMIN...'''Froyminroppin...Flyman...\\
'''Bergeron:''' Why do I think this is going to be in the last five minutes of your "E! True Hollywood Story"?\\
(''everyone laughs'')\\
'''Bergeron:''' "And then, ''this'' happened to Gilbert Gottfried.\\
(''everyone laughs'')\\
'''Gottfried:''' Fanackis...Fousemanhockey...\\
(''everyone laughs'')\\
'''Gottfried:''' Franco, or Fragile, either one of those will do.\\
'''Contestant:''' Is the answer...\\
'''Bergeron:''' '''Oh whoa, whoa...'''\\
(''everyone laughs'')\\
'''Contestant:''' I disagree?\\
'''Bergeron:''' Good man. It's- uh- the comic strip BC by Johnny Hart, so X gets the square. Thanks for staying with us through all of that, anyway...\\
(''laughter and applause'')

* At one point, when Rosie O'Donnell was one of the panelists, she asked Tom if they could swap places for a few questions, and he said "SureWhyNot".

--->'''Bergeron:''' Where would you find ''Thor'', ''Grouge'', and the ''Fat Broad''?\\

-->'''Bergeron:''' Where would you find ''Thor'', ''Grouge'', and the ''Fat Broad''?
'''Gottfried:''' On the View.
(''laughter and a bit of groans'')
'''Mull:''' Okay...
'''Gottfried:''' I think it's Frank- or Fragile Rock.
(''Tom gives Gilbert a confused look'')
'''Gottfried:''' (''as lots of people laugh'') Fraggin...Fragglerotten...Fragmin...Frymanrotten...'''FROYMIN...'''Froyminroppin...Flyman...
'''Bergeron:''' Why do I think this is going to be in the last five minutes of your "E! True Hollywood Story"?
(''everyone laughs'')
'''Bergeron:''' "And then, ''this'' happened to Gilbert Gottfried.
(''everyone laughs'')
'''Gottfried:''' Fanackis...Fousemanhockey...
(''everyone laughs'')
'''Gottfried:''' Franco, or Fragile, either one of those will do.
'''Contestant:''' Is the answer...
'''Bergeron:''' '''Oh whoa, whoa...'''
(''everyone laughs'')
'''Contestant:''' I disagree?
'''Bergeron:''' Good man. It's- uh- the comic strip BC by Johnny Hart, so X gets the square. Thanks for staying with us through all of that, anyway...

----
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WX3VDmB-taA&t=100s This]] Gilbert Gottfried mishap where he tries to say ''Fraggle Rock'', but accidentally says "Frank/Fragile", making it an OverlyLongGag lasting a minute, and thus, causing Tom to reply with this:
-->'''Bergeron:''' Why do I think this is going to be in the last five minutes of your "E! True Hollywood Story"? ..."And then, ''this'' happened to Gilbert Gottfried.

----

** Jillette was generally crass to contestants. In the same episode he shouted, "You fool! You fool! Of ''course'' that's not the right answer! I gave it to you on a silver platter! Look at me! I lied!"

** He also tells the losing Y player that she's getting the usual $500 consolation prize and "it's in psychological counseling."

'''Paul Lynde:''' Look who's talking, beaverface!\\

* The "YouFool" incident, as mentioned on the main page - OverlyLongGag doesn't come ''close'' to describing it. The longest first thousand-dollar game in the history of ''Hollywood Squares'', the out-of-time sound effect played right after the last square was won, resulting in there being no Secret Square game (the prize meant to debut that episode debuted alongside the next Secret Square prize the next episode). [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFMaPUtCi9o YOU FOOL!]], indeed.

-->'''Peter Marshall''': Paul, true or false: your teeth are about the same size and shape as a pig's.
-->'''Paul Lynde''': Look who's talking, beaverface!
-->(''Peter makes a face like a beaver's'')

-->'''Paul Lynde''': In what state? Like all of us, naked and screaming.

-->'''Peter Marshall''': Paul, what did ancient Romans traditionally bake into every loaf of bread they made?
-->'''Paul Lynde''': A Christian!
-->''(the correct answer was a coin)''

-->'''Tom Bergeron:''' What should you do about a hairy back?
-->'''Gilbert Gottfried:''' I usually close my eyes and imagine she's wearing an alpaca sweater.
-->(''everyone laughs'')

-->'''Peter Marshall:''' True or false: At a recent hearing, opponents of fluoridated water argued that too much fluorine in a person's system could cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?
-->'''Paul Lynde:''' (''excitedly'') '''HEY, CULLIGAN MAN!'''

'''Paul Lynde:''' You'd replace me with Charles Nelson Reilly.

-->'''Madame:''' Peter, I'm sorry you're leaving and not going to be on in the morning. I tried everything I could... I even fucked Silverman[[note]](Fred Silverman, then president of NBC.)[[/note]]. It's true, it's true!
-->'''Peter:''' Maybe that's what did it!
-->'''Madame:''' It just goes to prove that you can fuck all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fuck with the people all of the time!

-->'''Peter:''' According to genetic experts, do scientists think they'll really ever be able to slow down the effects of aging.
-->'''Rodney:''' Definitely. Let me tell you about this now. Aging, I mean, I'm getting old myself...
-->'''Miss Circle:''' Yes, I agree.[[note]](For the record, Rodney's true answer was "yes", she DID agree, and she got the Square.)[[/note]]

-->'''Peter Marshall:''' Will humming help your tennis game?
-->'''Florence Henderson:''' This struck me funny. Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? [[AccidentalInnuendo It takes your mind off your balls]], or something... ''(audience erupts into laughter; Henderson [[OhCrap realizes]] [[ThatCameOutWrong what she said]] and [[HeadDesk hides her face]])''

-->'''Peter Marshall''': Oscar, true or false, birds really like to watch other birds make love.
-->'''Oscar''': Hey, listen, I'm from a kids show!
-->'''Peter''': Well, I think you know Big Bird, don't you?
-->'''Oscar''': Yeah, but he's only six years old! He doesn't know anything!

* ((https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOU9r1DcwGI This little known blooper]] from the Bergeron run, where Tom gets confused over who won the game and gets lambasted by Whoopi over the blunder.

* When given the question "What country has the highest ratio of doctors to population?", Creator/BuddyHackett gave a joke answer of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcTu0-1rqAU "the country with the most Jews!"]] with the equally joking reasoning that "We have a doctor in every family, it's a cousin, could be an uncle. Couple of specialists." He was then shocked when the contestant ''agreed'' with him, and even more shocked when his answer (Israel) turned out to be right!

* Meta example, but a mid-70s Rich Little special had this [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8-nmqm5RlM parody]] [[XMeetsY mashup]] of this and ''Film/TheToweringInferno'', ''The Towering Squares'', featuring much of the regulars (including Paul Lynde) on the actual set who are [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere trying to flee the smoking Squares]], and yet [[TheShowMustGoOn Peter Marshall continues with the game]] [[WeirdnessCensor as if nothing's wrong]].

* The "YouFool" incident, as mentioned on the main page - OverlyLongGag doesn't come ''close'' to describing it. The longest first thousand-dollar game in the history of ''Hollywood Squares'', the out-of-time sound effect played right after the last square was won, resulting in there being no Secret Square game (the prize meant to debut that episode debuted alongside the next Secret Square prize the next episode). [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3djXcx2ewQ YOU FOOL!]], indeed.

** The final question to the round. The X-player agrees with Gilbert's answer that "smog" is a combination of the words smoke and fog. Cue Tom rising from his podium, exclaiming "'''SMOKE AND FOG!''''" with an expression on his face that just '''''SCREAMS''''' "Hallelujah!" Just before he asks said question, Tom says "By the way, if we run out of time during or any other game, we're all going out for drinks."

* The "YouFool" incident, as mentioned on the main page - OverlyLongGag doesn't come ''close'' to describing it. The longest first thousand-dollar game in the history of ''Hollywood Squares''. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3djXcx2ewQ YOU FOOL!]], indeed.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9tWVkc8KxM This]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPErQgQdeqY episode]] from the Whoopi era has a carload of them, chiefly a CallBack to the "You Fool" incident thanks to another block-and-win situation with Gilbert (with Tom noting this time it was "mercifully short compared to the last time this happened"), but also Whoopi trying to claim disability from one of the contestants, then claiming the phrase "strike while the iron is hot" was invented by "[[BlackComedy the maid's union]]", and later on saying in response to a question she was going to avoid any penis or Viagra jokes. Which was promptly followed up by a dose of HypocriticalHumor, as she then jokes in response to a zinger from Coolio about the "charity stripe" in basketball being tatooed across Dennis Rodman's ass that the stripes are skidmarks, followed by Tom pointing out "[[LampshadeHanging This from the woman who wouldn't do a Viagra joke.]]"