History Funny / TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies

** Four words: "Send in the goats!"

'''Bilbo''': What do you mean, who am I -- you know ''perfectly well who I am, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! This is my home! And those are [[ChekhovsGun my spoons]], thank you very much!

-->'''Lobelia Sackville-Baggins''': [[BlatantLies Who are you?!]]
-->'''Bilbo''': ''Who am I?!'' You know ''perfectly well'' who I am, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! ''This'' is my house and ''those'' are [[ChekhovsGun my spoons!]]

** The camera also slides over to Bard, who is visibly trying not to laugh. The man's been through so much crap--his town destroyed, his children's lives threatened, shoved into a visible leadership position, and an army on his doorstep--and he does get a tiny, hilarious reprieve in the form of seeing an annoyed Elf, if only for a moment.

** There's also getting to see the [[NoodleIncident incident Bilbo told Frodo about in the first film]] about catching his Sackville-Baggins relation, Lobelia, trying to make off with his silverware...

* The Master of Laketown, who had opted to [[DirtyCoward abandon his people to a fiery death while escaping on a barge full of wealth]], [[spoiler: gets Smaug's plummeting corpse dropped right on top of him]].

* [[spoiler:Azog]]'s OhCrap moment as Thorin [[spoiler:tosses his flail head into his arms, backs off the sheet of ice, and lets gravity do the rest.]]

** That was a seriously WTF moment for the audience too. Here we see [[spoiler: Thorin drop his sword, and we're all wondering what the heck he was thinking, then he does his thing, and the audience feels what Azog was thinking at that moment: ...''no way''...]]
* Azog's OhCrap face can also be interpreted as him having an epiphany, amplified by his Christ-like posture when he's [[spoiler:floating just beneath the ice]]. And then he [[spoiler:comes back to life.]]

* Also in the extended cut [[spoiler: Alfrid]] finally receives his long-overdue reckoning. [[spoiler: Eru only knows why, he chooses to hide in the fling sack of a catapult. Then Gandalf happens to fight a troll nearby, the startled Alfrid drops one of his pilfered golden coins onto the trigger mechanism, and is launched ''straight into the troll's mouth'', choking it to death! DyingMomentOfAwesome, perhaps?]]
** Even better is his expression immediately after [[spoiler: the coin sets off the trigger]], which just screams, "Oh, for the love of..."

** Bilbo clearly expects him to say something, as his expression goes from ThousandYardStare after [[spoiler:seeing Thorin and Fíli die, and probably having learned about Kíli at this point]], to "WTF, man?"

[[caption-width-right:350:Not every man is brave enough to wear a corset.]]

-->'''Bilbo''': ''Who am I?!'' You know ''perfectly well'' who I am, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! ''This'' is my house and ''those'' are [[ChekovsGun my spoons!]]

-->'''Bilbo''': ''Who am I?!'' You know ''perfectly well'' who I am, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! ''This'' is my house and ''those'' are [[CheckovsGun my spoons!]]

** A similar moment happens before, as just when Bard gets up to the top of the tower, watching the destruction and proceeding to start shooting, he slowly realizes that the bell's still ringing directly above his head. Annoyed, he promptly cuts the inside rope to shut it up, then ''continues'' trying to shoot down Smaug.

* Also in the extended cut [[spoiler: Alfrid]] finally receives his long-overdue reckoning. [[spoiler: Eru only knows why, he chooses to hide in the fling sack of a catapult. Then Gandalf happens to fight a troll nearby, the startled Alfrid drops one of his pilfered golden coins onto the trigger mechanism, and is launched ''straight into the troll's mouth'', choking it to death! DyingMomentOfAwesome, I guess?]]
** Even better is his expression immediately after [[spoiler: the coin sets off the trigger]]. To this troper, it just screams, "Oh, for the love of..."

* It is somewhat dark humor, but when Galadriel puts on her "Dark Queen" persona, Elrond looks at her with more emotion (shock and surprise) then he has shown in any of the other five movies, and quickly gives her room.
** Are you kidding? This is his mother-in-law, in an obviously bad mood. I would want to get the hell out of there, too.
** Radagast also looks about two seconds away from crapping himself.

* Azog's OhCrap face looked more like he had an epiphany to this troper and his friends. This, added with his Christ-like posture when he's [[spoiler:floating just beneath the ice]] led to "Azog's the Orc's Jesus and he'll save us all from our sins" jokes for the rest of the movie.
** And then he [[spoiler:comes back to life.]]

:: You'll be forgiven if you expect [[Film/LethalWeapon a saxophone to pop up]].

** A similar moment happens before, as just when Bard gets up to the top of the tower, watching the destruction, he slowly realizes that the bell's still ringing directly above his head. Annoyed, he promptly cuts the inside rope to shut it up, ''then'' proceeds to try and shoot down Smaug with arrows.

* As serious and nerve-wracking a moment it is, there is something hilarious about Bard saying to his son, "Just a little to your left..."

'''Smaug:''' ''[after Colbert asks whether the film stayed true to the book]'' I actually haven't read the books, so no spoilers, please!\\\
'''Colbert:''' Well let me tell you, it'll get you ''[taps chest]'' right in the heart.\\\

!Dwarves...
* Dáin (Billy Connolly) arriving on the battlefield, and asking the men and elves if they would consider "JUST SODDING OFF!"

-->'''Dáin''': Hear that, lads?! We're on! Let's give these bastards a good hammering!

-->'''Dáin''': ''[in highly annoyed disbelief]'' Aw, ''come on''!

** In Russian dub, Dáin calls Thranduil a "cowardly forest [[FairySexy fairy]]" instead of "faithless [[TheFairFolk woodland sprite]]". This lead to pictures [[http://cs623919.vk.me/v623919262/1edde/-PUlEp7cwLA.jpg like]] [[http://cs622024.vk.me/v622024452/e0cc/oEERu2praBE.jpg these]] (Лесная фея in Russian means forest fairy, and "Кто ты из Винкс? Трандуил" means "Who are you in [[WesternAnimation/WinxClub Winx Club]]? Thranduil").

* When the elf army first masses outside Erebor, the dwarves inside stand on top of their wall, shouting defiantly. Then the elf archers ready their bows -- and everyone except Thorin immediately ducks.

--> '''Balin''': "I am too old for this."
** You'll be forgiven if you expect [[Film/LethalWeapon a saxophone to pop up]].

--> '''Bofur''': "By Durin! You've lost your axe!"
--> '''Bombur''': [''giving the axe to Bifur''] "No, he's not! There you go, cousin."
--> '''Bifur''': [''examining the axe, then throwing it away''] "You know where you can stick that!"

* The dwarves' goat-drawn chariots in the Extended Edition [[BloodyHilarious keep decapitating or dismembering orcs]] in such an OTT manner it's hilarious.

-->'''Dwalin''': Shoot [the troll]!
-->'''Kili''': Where?!
-->'''Dwalin''': Aim for its [[UnusualEuphemism gem bags]]!
-->'''Kili''': ({{Beat}}) It doesn't have any gem bags!

!Elves...

* For some, Legolas' leaping off the tower he's standing on to bury his sword in a troll's head is reminiscent of the signature aerial assassination move from the ''Franchise/AssassinsCreed'' series. All he's missing is the white hood.

* It is somewhat dark humor, but when Galadriel puts on her "Dark Queen" persona; Elrond looks at her with more emotion (shock and surprise) then he has shown in any of the other five movies; and quickly gives her room.

-->"Such a pity. Still, you tried."
** When Thorin threatens to put an arrow through Thranduil's head every single Elf archer aims at the Dwarves. Completely synchinized too. The Dwarves, who were cheering up until then, did an OhCrap and ducked.

!Men...

-->"Alfrid. Your slip is showing."

* Bard and Alfrid have an earlier moment. Alfrid is about to be lynched, but Bard stops them by ShamingTheMob. [[SubvertedTrope He shoves Alfrid back onto the ground as he does so]] -- and barely looks at Alfrid while he's doing it, giving the move an OffhandBackhand feel.

--> '''Alfrid''': "Nothing gets past me!"
--> '''Bard''': "Except an army of Elves, it would seem."

* Gandalf cleaning his pipe after the battle. You think he's about to say something profound, but the scene cuts away before he can.
** Bilbo clearly expects him to say something as his expression goes from ThousandYardStare after [[spoiler:seeing Thorin and Fíli die, and probably having learned about Kíli at this point]], to "WTF, man?"

* When Alfrid is about to be hanged by an angry mob, he tells them to "think of the children" before holding up Bard's daughter Tilda...who proceeds to kick him in the gut.

!Hobbit[[strike:s]]...

* The scene where Bilbo got interrogated.
-->'''Thranduil:''' If I am not mistaken, this is the halfling who stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards.
-->''{{Beat}}''
-->'''Bilbo''': Yes... Sorry about that.

** The camera also slides over to Bard, who is visibly trying not to laugh. The man's been through so much crap -- his town destroyed, his children's lives threatened, shoved into a visible leadership position, and an army on his doorstep -- and he does get a tiny, hilarious reprieve in the form of seeing an annoyed Elf, if only for a moment.

* The Hobbits at the end refusing to believe that Bilbo is who he says he is, despite many of them being his family and him being a pillar of the community. To prove it, Bilbo has to present them with a legal document he signed - his contract to provide services for... er... well, never mind what services.

!...and Anyone Else
* When the orc forces begin their attack on Dale, a troll with a huge chunk of stone tied to his head rams the wall as a living battering ram and then...promptly flops back after knocking himself out.

** What especially sells it is the almost apologetic look Thorin gives him, as if to say "Dude, you were whacking the surface of a frozen river with a big rock, I mean, come on . . ."

''(Triumphant music plays as Bard grabs his bow, cutting out when he sees it's broken)''\\
'''Smaug:''' [[LampshadeHanging Now that is a pity]].

* Also in the extended cut [[spoiler: Alfrid]] finally receives his long-overdue reckoning. [[spoiler: Eru only knows why, he chooses to hide in the fling sack of a catapult. Then Gandalf happens to fight a troll nearby, startled Alfrid drops one of his pilfered golden coins onto the trigger mechanism, and is launched ''straight into the troll's mouth'', chocking it to death! DyingMomentOfAwesome, I guess?]]

** In the same fight, Gandalf dodging back and forth while fiddling with Radagast's staff trying to get it work.

'''Smaug:''' (''after Colbert asks whether the film stayed true to the book'') I actually haven't read the books, so no spoilers, please!\\\
'''Colbert:''' Well let me tell you, it'll get you (taps chest) right in the heart.\\\

'''Smaug:''' (''when asked if he tried to kill Bilbo'') I'll tell you this, Stephen: What would you do if someone broke into your house wearing a hoodie? I was standing my ground. Do you have a problem with that?\\\
'''Smaug:''' NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON, MOTHERF***ER!!! (''trashes set'')

* Thorin litteraly sliding in the small opening in the wall to discuss with Bard is hilarious.

* The satisfied smile that Bard gives after the Master's bloated carcass (painfully) helped in breaking out of the jail perfectly expresses Bard thinking, "I'm glad that ''really'' hurt!"