History Funny / THEWALKINGDEAD

--> (On [[TheChick Maggie]] and [[HappilyAdopted Sophia]]) "Now that's just precious. A mother and her child. [[AbsurdlyYouthfulMother Especially when the mother is WAY too hot to have a child that old...]] No way I can kill you."

--> (On [[TheChick Maggie]] and [[HappilyAdopted Sophia]]) "[[TastesLikeDiabetes Now that's just precious. A mother and her child.]] [[AbsurdlyYouthfulMother Especially when the mother is WAY too hot to have a child that old...]] No way I can kill you."

--> (On [[AmazonianBeauty Michonne]]) "[[FoeYay My, my... there's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, and killing you is at the absolute fucking bottom of that list.]] [[OnSecondThought Still on it, though.]]"

For the [[Series/TheWalkingDead TV show]], see '''[[Funny/TheWalkingDeadTVShow here]]'''.

For the [[VideoGame/TheWalkingDead video game]], see '''[[Funny/TheWalkingDeadVideoGame here]]'''.

* Kirkman lives up to his statement early on that aliens would enter the story in issue 75, with a joke story about how aliens were behind the zombies, and several characters both dead and alive have acquired superhero outfits and are fighting them...and [[spoiler:the Governor has become {{The Quisling}} and now uses a kickass mech suit.]]

--> (On [[HotAmazon Michonne]]) "[[FoeYay My, my... there's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, and killing you is at the absolute fucking bottom of that list.]] [[OnSecondThought Still on it, though.]]"

** When Carl [[BerserkButton damage Lucille]] Negan goes on a rant about how he loves that bat and shamelessly confess that sometime he rubs his dick on it when he is alone.

--> (On [[TheHero Rick]]) "YOU?! How stupid do you think I am? [[ImplacableMan You're practically INVINCIBLE.]] [[AnArmAndALeg You're missing a fucking HAND for fuck's sake]] - AND [[TheLeader you're the leader.]] [[VillainRespect What have these people seen you live through? I bet they fucking worship you!]] [[GenreSavvy I'm not going to turn you into a martyr.]] [[BreakTheBadass The name of the game is breaking you in front of them.]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice I'll slide my dick down your throat and make you thank me for it...]] then they'll all fall in line."

-->'''Dwight:''' ''(while on the ground trying to throw off a zombie)'' [[DearGodWhatHaveIDone "God help us all."]]

* In the letters column for an issue not long after [[spoiler: Glenn's death]] there is a long, angry letter telling Kirkman how much he sucks for [[spoiler: killing Glenn.]] And then we get to the end and see that the letter is from [[spoiler: Creator/StevenYeun, Glenn's actor from the TV show.]]

--> (On Michonne) "[[FoeYay My, my... there's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, and killing you is at the absolute fucking bottom of that list.]] [[OnSecondThought Still on it, though.]]"

* In the letters column for an issue not long after [[spoiler: Glenn's death]] there is a long, angry letter telling Kirkman how much he sucks for [[spoiler: killing Glenn.]] And then we get to the end and see that the letter is from [[spoiler: Steven Yeun, Glenn's actor from the TV show.]]

--> (On [[HarmfulToMinors Carl]]) "What's the story of this future serial killer? [[EvenEvilHasStandards Shit-fuck kid, lighten up! At least cry a little.]] [[WorthyOpponent I can't kill you before your story ends. Too fucking interesting.]]"

--> (On [[TheChick Maggie]] and [[HappilyAdopted Sophia]]) "[[TastesLikeDiabetes Now that's just precious. A mother and her child.]] [[AbsurdlyYouthfulMother Especially when the mother is WAY too hot to have a child that old...]] No way I can kill you."
--> (On [[HarmfulToMinors Carl]]) "What's the story of this future serial killer? [[EvenEvilHasStandards Shit-fuck kid, lighten up! At least cry a little.]] [[WorthyOpponent I can't kill you before your story ends. Too fucking interesting.]]"
--> (On [[TokenMinority Glenn]]) "Not you... [[EvenEvilHasStandards I'm a lot of things, but I'd never want to be called a racist. No fucking way. You're off limits]]."
--> (On [[TokenMinority Heath]]) "Same. Race card."
--> (On Michonne) "[[FoeYay My, my... there's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, and killing you is at the absolute fucking bottom of that list.]] [[OnSecondThought Still on it, though.]]"
--> (On [[TheHero Rick]]) "YOU?! How stupid do you think I am? [[ImplaccableMan You're practically INVINCIBLE.]] [[AnArmAndALeg You're missing a fucking HAND for fuck's sake]] - AND [[TheLeader you're the leader.]] [[VillainRespect What have these people seen you live through? I bet they fucking worship you!]] [[GenreSavvy I'm not going to turn you into a martyr.]] [[BreakTheBadass The name of the game is breaking you in front of them.]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice I'll slide my dick down your throat and make you thank me for it...]] then they'll all fall in line."

-->''[BeatPanel of the Saviors looking confused at one another]''

-->'''Savior''': (Returns Negan's barbwire coated bat.)
-->'''Negan''': "Were you gentle? Were you kind?"
-->'''Savior''': "Yes sir."
-->'''Negan''': "Did you treat her like a lady?"
-->'''Savior''': "Uh... yes."
-->'''Negan''': (dead serious)"Did you [[RefugeInAudacity eat her pussy like a lady]]?"
-->'''Savior''': "Well, I..."
-->'''Negan''': (cheerful smile)"I'm just fucking with you! [[CaptainObvious A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy]]! Now get the [[ClusterFBomb fuck]] out."

* In the letters column for an issue not long after [[spoiler: Glenn's death]] there is a long, angry letter telling Kirkman how much he sucks for [[spoiler: killing Glenn.]] And then we get to the end and see that the letter is from [[spoiler: Stephen Yuen, Glenn's actor from the TV show.]]

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: The comic]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder: The TV show]]
!! Season 1
* Shortly after leaving the hospital in the pilot, Rick finds his first zombie: a horribly rotted woman missing the entire lower half of her body, crawling toward him. Cue a man in nothing but his underwear, an open hospital gown, and a bandage around his torso jumping on a stolen bicycle too small for him and pedaling as fast as he can with a look of abject terror.
* Rick, having just crawled into a tank to escape from a zombie horde, sits next to a deceased soldier to catch his breath. The soldier suddenly reanimates and turns to eat Rick, before Rick quickly blows the soldier's brains out, [[SteelEarDrums forgetting he is in]] [[AvertedTrope a metal enclosed space]]. He was limited in options given the circumstances, however. The "funny" is the way it happened: both Rick and the reanimated soldier turn to each other and just pause for a moment as if to take a second to realize whats going on. It's hilarious.
* "Ey, you! Dumbass! You, in the tank! Cozy in there?" Best cliff-hanger EVER.
* "Guts" features a rather hilarious moment. After Rick performs his DueToTheDead for the walker they're about to open up Glenn stops them to point out something Rick missed.
-->'''Glenn''': One more thing. He was an organ donor.
* Another one happens in the second episode, when Rick and Glenn are [[PretendWereDead pretending to be zombies]] to reach a parking lot.
--> '''Glenn''': (When rain suddenly comes in and the zombies start to get wary) Do they smell us?!
--> '''Rick''': No, they don't! (passes by a zombie who eyes him suspiciously) Well, maybe...
* Before that, everyone's reactions when Rick goes "We need more guts," and takes another swing at the zombie with the axe, which are by this point past {{squick}} and into, "Oh come ''on''!"
* Rick tells Glenn to imagine puppies and kittens when he is cutting up the body.
-->'''T-Dog:''' DEAD puppies and kittens. (Glenn throws up)
* After bashing Merle in the face with a rifle and handcuffing him to a pipe in retaliation for trying to use force to gain control of Glenn's survivor group, Rick refers to himself as "Officer Friendly."
* In the third episode, after Daryl finds out Rick and T-Dog handcuffed Merle on the roof and left him there, and Shane has to restrain Darryl to stop him attacking Rick.
-->'''Daryl:''' Best let me go!\\
'''Shane:''' No, I think it's better I don't.\\
'''Daryl:''' Choke hold's illegal!\\
'''Shane:''' Well, file a complaint.
** There's also this, when Rick resolves to go back and rescue Merle:
-->'''Shane:''' Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon?\\
'''Daryl:''' Hey. Choose your words more carefully.\\
'''Shane:''' No, I did. Douchebag's what I meant.
* Dr. Jenner when he's drunk is apparently quite the joker.
-->"Hey, how far you think I can chuck this? Pretty far, I bet! *flings wine glass across the room* WOOOOO! IT'S OUT OF THE STADIUM!"
* Glenn (and most of the other survivors) hungover in the morning at the CDC. Glenn is in the worst condition, he can't even stand the sight of eggs. It's hilarious. Poor guy.
* When Glenn is kidnapped by the maybe-gangbangers who threaten his life, the others eventually find him--in an old-folks' home, in no danger whatsoever. T-Dog, grumpily: "We thought you were being eaten by dogs, man." Cue ReactionShot from a chihuahua. Heh.
* In the Season 1 finale, Daryl tries to break the sealed door down with an axe, but Dr. Jenner calmly points out:
-->'''Jenner:''' That door is designed to withstand a rocket launcher.\\
'''Daryl:''' (angrily stomping toward Jenner) Well, your HEAD ain't!

!!Season 2
* In the second season premiere, the sign for the church lacks a specific bible passage and just reads "Revelations."
* The look on Rick's face as Daryl dissects a walker in the second season premiere. Daryl then pulls a large, gory mass out of its stomach and simply mutters "Looks like this guy ate himself a ground chuck a few days ago or something."
* In "Bloodletting", Daryl offhandedly telling a walker to shut up before shooting it.
* When Dr. Hershel Greene reveals that he's a vet, Lori [[ComicallyMissingThePoint thinks that he used to be a combat medic]] until he clarifies that he's a ''veterinarian''.
* Daryl whips out a large bag of narcotics to help T-Dog with his infection.
-->'''Daryl''': Merle got the clap on occasion.
* The scenes with Daryl and Andrea in the woods in "Save The Last One".
** Upon finding a walker hanging from a tree by the neck.
--> Daryl: "What the hell?"
** Said walker's suicide note:
--> "Got bit/Fever hit/World gone to shit/Why not quit?"
* The well zombie might be one of the most hilariously disgusting scenes to date. They spent several minutes, nearly got Glenn killed, and busted the water pump to get the zombie out of the well... [[ShaggyDogStory and it immediately rips in half, sending its lower half back into the well.]]
-->'''T-Dog''': Good thing we didn't do something stupid like shoot it.
* With or without context, still funny.
--> '''Glenn''': I still got 11 condoms...\\
'''Maggie''': You see 11 condoms, [[SpeedSex I see 11 minutes of my life]] [[BrainBleach that I'm never getting back!]]
* Glenn tells Dale his theory on why all the women are acting weird (see NoPeriodsPeriod on the main page); Dale wisely tells him to keep it to himself.
* "There are walkers in the barn and Lori's pregnant." Dale's "what the shit?" reaction is priceless.
* Andrea is beside herself, having a MyGodWhatHaveIDone moment after she nearly kills Daryl, having thought he was a walker. Dale comes to console her by telling her not to beat herself up over it, since they've ''all'' wanted to shoot Daryl at some point or another.
* Earlier, Daryl is being aimed at by Rick, who thinks he's a Walker, and he says "That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?." Then, after he is shot by Andrea, the first thing out of his mouth is, "I was kidding!"
* Glenn wearing Dale's hat in Season 2.
* In "18 Miles Out", there's something darkly humorous about one point where Rick is hiding from Walkers on the ground. One spots him and starts lumbering over, so Rick shoots it, and it falls forward, on top of him. A second walker hears the shot, and follows, ''also'' getting shot in the head, and ''also'' falling forward on top of Rick, only for a ''[[RuleOfThree third]]'' Walker to show up right on their heels and pin Rick under all three of them. At this point Rick's face is less, "Oh god I'm gonna get eaten!" and more, "Oh come ''on''!" [[MomentOfAwesome And then shoots the third zombie]] by [[{{Squick}} using the mouth of the first zombie]].
* In the Season 2 finale, this line by Hershel:
--> '''Hershel''': "The Lord promised a resurrection of the dead. I was thinking he had something different in mind."
* The otherwise unmemorable Jimmy had one when trying to use GangstaStyle in shooting training. After T-Dog [[LampshadeHanging calls him on it]] and he holds the pistol the correct way, he hits the target he was missing while holding it gangsta style.

!!Season 3
* The third season premiere has Carl developing a PrecociousCrush on Beth. When they initially infiltrate [[spoiler:the prison]], he seems to briefly consider taking the bunk above hers, but Herschel arrives to ask him if he's found a place to stay, flustering and driving him off.
* Maggie grinning and asking "Did you see that?" when she figures out how to stab a walker in riot gear. Counts as a CMOA, too.
* After lecturing the inmates on staying in formation, and aiming for the Walker's heads, the inmates charge at random, stabbing them everywhere ''but'' the head. The look on Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog's faces says it all.
* Daryl's attack stance while poised behind Oscar. It almost qualifies as a FunnyBackgroundEvent.
* The Governor walking in on Milton and Merle in the middle of a quarrel in "Walk With Me". He even compares it to a schoolyard fight.
-->'''Governor:''' You finish your homework?
-->'''Milton:''' I would have but the dog's already eating it.
* There's something slightly funny in Oscar throwing a barrel at Andrew.
* The Governor of all people has one while golfing in episode "Killer Within": He hits several golf balls while talking to Merle, and one hits a walker and knocks it to the ground!
* Carol, T-Dog, Daryl, and Rick catching Glenn and Maggie in the guard tower not entirely dressed.
--> Funnier in that it's preceded by Daryl shouting "You coming?", inciting giggles from the surrounded adults.
* In ''Seed'', when Carol starts jokingly flirting with Daryl, who's standing on an overturned Jeep. He mentions that they should get back to the fire and this exchange occurs:
--> '''Daryl''': I'll go down first.
--> '''Carol''': (jokingly) Even better!
--> '''Daryl''': (flat) Stop.
* In "Say The Word", while Daryl and Maggie are looking for [[spoiler: baby formula to feed the baby]], they find an opossum in a closet and Daryl shoots at it with his crossbow:
-->'''Daryl:''' Hello, dinner.\\
'''Maggie:''' I'm not putting that in my bag.
* Daryl's suggestion of a name for [[spoiler: the new Grimes baby]] to cheer everyone up: "Little Asskicker".
** In the same episode, just the look on Rick's face when the phone starts to ring. It's an interesting mix of, "Am I going crazy?" and "Who in the hell could ''possibly'' be calling?"
** When Carl finally broaches the topic of a proper name for [[spoiler: Judith]], the fact that he chose to start the conversation with with "Daryl's been calling her Ass-Kicker" and the resulting look on Rick's face. (Note that it wasn't until two episodes later that anyone got around to coming up with an alternative to "Ass-kicker.")
** And then we see it's written on the box they use for her bed.
** When Andrea hears the nickname, she immediately guesses that Daryl came up with it.
* Axel telling Carol he thought that she was a lesbian (solely because of her short hair) during "Made To Suffer". Followed by Axel ''hitting on her''.
* Merle getting back to form by being a complete jackass with Rick's group, joking that Michonne and Andrea had a lesbian relationship, and that Michonne's jealous of the Governor.
* The Governor asking a favour of Milton:
-->'''Governor:''' �You keep an eye on her for me.�
* Axel revealing why he was really imprisoned: he robbed a store armed with a water pistol. He also jokes that his brother had a money problem (while Axel himself has dice tattooed on his neck): his brother wouldn't lend him any.
* Daryl acting like a little brother, trying to show Merle he's tough. The best part is when he awkwardly imitates his brother's spitting.
* After Andrea and Milton [[ItMakesSenseInContext manage to lasso a zombie]], Tyreese and his group show up, and the dumbfounded looks they give are hysterical, as are Andrea's and Milton's "it's not what you think" reactions, followed by how casually Andrea walks off with the zombie.
* Carl, Rick and Michonne's car gets caught in mud and then swarmed by a gang of walkers. All three look annoyed more than anything, and Rick just calmly tells the others to cover their ears while he cranks down his window and headshots walkers through the gap.
* After Carl and Michonne's attempt to retrieve Grimes family picture from a local bar fails the first time, Michonne goes in the back and grabs it for him. After assuring Carl that he can trust her, Michonne then adds one more note.
--> '''Michonne''': ''[holds up some sort of rainbow-striped cat sculpture]'' Besides, this was just too damn gorgeous to leave behind.
** Earlier, inside [[spoiler:Morgan's stronghold]].
-->'''Rick:''' We're eating his food now?
-->'''Michonne:''' *Shrugs* Mat says 'Welcome'. (Said mat covered a pit filled with stakes for intruders.)
* There's a darkly hilarious aspect to the defenses, particularly those on the stairway. There are repeated notes along the lines of, "Turn back." "I'm warning you." "Turn around now." Then the final sheet just says, "I'm not shitting you!" leading to a tripwire, which is attached to an axe rigged to swing at someone's head. The kicker being that the axe has "Told you" written on the side.
* Milton asking to see Hershel's leg stump.
-->'''Hershel:''' At least buy me a drink first.
* Daryl and Martinez's dick-measuring contest as they kill walkers together, won by Daryl thanks to a frickin' throwing knife. Bonus points for Andrea's complete look of "Is this shit really happening?" right before she kills the first walker for them.
* Glenn being reluctant to have sex with Maggie on an outside prison walkway, as there are rotting walkers snarling just meters away. So she pulls him into what The Talking Dead later dubbed "the sex garage."
* After Merle has kidnapped Michonne with intentions of sending her off to the governor, he is momentarily distracted by a group of walkers. After disposing of them with her blade, he asks why she didn�t try to run away and Michonne sheepishly smiles and says that she wanted her sword back first.
* Merle just straight chilling to some {{Music/Motorhead}} in a parked car, surrounded by Walkers. He [[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S6ztdemTCVo/UU-eZouFMRI/AAAAAAAACiQ/lrPqR7Gfvks/s1600/johnniewalkerdead.jpg even offers]] one [[http://i.imgur.com/BczX2nw.jpg a drink.]]
** After this, it cuts to a shot of Merle's stolen car slowly rolling through a field with a huge herd of walkers slowly following behind him.
* Glenn getting an engagement ring for Maggie by chopping off a walker's fingers.

!!Season 4
* The shopping place with the rotting roof and the walkers falling through. Some folks will be reminded of the viral videos of botched burglarys of stores, especially since it's the liquor section. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiyGT_xkw28 Some others, well...]]
* Hershel calling an impromptu council meeting.
-->'''Hershel''': I propose we move Spaghetti Tuesday to Wednesday. First, we just need to get some spaghetti.
* When Carol and Rick meet Ana and Sam and have their guns drawn warily, Sam talks about the fruit they have and tosses them one. Neither moves and they all just watch it bounce down the stairs in the awkward silence.
* Of all people, The Governor gets one in "Live Bait", with his response to a little girl asking how he lost his eye.
-->'''The Governor''': I'm a pirate.
* In "After", Carl throws himself at a house's front door to open it. The end result is Carl knocked on his butt and the door unmoved.
* There's just something funnily endearing about watching Carl eating a 112 ounce can of pudding on a roof while a walker trapped in a room behind him ineffectually tries to grab him.
* The dialogue between Rick and Carl has this little gem:
-->'''Rick''': It's good that you found more food.
-->'''Carl''': I found even more, but... ''(sheepishly)'' I ate it.
-->'''Rick''': What was it?
-->'''Carl''': ''(even more sheepishly, a slight smile forming on his face)'' ...112 ounces of pudding.
* Just the look on Rick's face when [[spoiler:Michonne finds them]] and there's a quick, polite knock on the door. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming because he just looks so damn happy.
* Michonne has a dream/flashback to before the apocalypse ended and in it, she stores her katana into her kitchen knife stand, even though it's far too small for the whole sword to fit.
* Michonne attempting to cheer up a grumpy Carl by stuffing her face with Crazy Cheese. Even funnier is her awkward face-wiping when Carl doesn't react.
* Daryl and Beth flipping off the burning shack in "Still".
** The suddenness of it was even funnier. They're semi-drunk while having a somber conversation, then Beth suddenly says something to the effect of "we should burn this shack down", and it then cuts to them splashing moonshine everywhere to do just that.
** The entire episode focuses on Beth's inexplicable quest for liquor, while Daryl gets more and more exacerbated with it as time goes on. Especially the part where Daryl smashes the peach schnapps and yells that her first drink won't be something like that.
* In "Alone", Beth and Daryl take shelter in a funeral home. When night falls Daryl quickly claims an empty coffin as a bed, stating it's the most comfortable bed he's had in weeks.
* In "Us", Abraham wants to stop and rest, but [[{{Determinator}} Glenn]] wants to keep moving to find Maggie. Abraham is unsupportive.
-->'''Glenn:''' I have to keep going.
-->'''Abraham:''' I don't give a ''monkey's left nut''.
** Later, Abraham is taking a nap in the backseat of a can while Eugene and Rosita are up front. When they stop to wait for Glenn and Tara, Eugene fiddles with his seat... But causes it to violently slam down on poor Abraham's head, abruptly waking him up.

!!Season 5
* In "No Sanctuary", Eugene [[SpockSpeak carefully and in great detail explains his plan]] to wipe out the zombie pandemic. Then out of nowhere, he adds:
-->"All things being equal, it DOES sound pretty {{badass}}."
* In "Strangers", Maggie and Tara wait outside a gun shop for Glenn. They hear crashing, and soon after, Glenn emerges. [[BlatantLies He says it was a walker]], but doesn't look convincing. The real reason?
--> "It was a stack of boxes and a mop. I tripped."
** Michonne volunteers to kill a passing walker, and as she reaches for her back she realizes she never got her sword back from Terminus, so she has to begrudgingly bash its skull in instead of slashing it clean off its shoulders.
* From "Self Help":
** Abraham and Glenn have a moment, where Abraham praises Glenn for staying with him and staying true to his word that he would help him get Eugene to Washington, D.C. Abraham then ends the conversation by declaring he's going to get himself some ass. Glenn says, to the awkward silence, "[[TooMuchInformation More than I really needed to know]], but okay."
** This is followed up by Eugene watching Abraham and Rosita have sex from the [[TitleDrop self help]] isle of the bookstore, which they notice and laugh about. Tara then catches Eugene, who admits what he was doing very matter-of-factly to Tara, noting that it provided both comfort and distraction. After they finish their conversation and Eugene leaves, Tara takes a quick peek at the action as well.
** At the beginning of the episode, after clearing out the walkers, the group moves to start getting their supplies out of the crashed bus only for the bus to suddenly burst into flames. The exasperated looks on their faces is priceless.
* In the Story Sync on AMC's site, one thing that they occasionally show is a character's weapon with detailed information about it; knives and guns and so forth. During "What Happened And What's Going On", one of them is "Tyreese's Geode".
-->'''Mineral:''' Amethyst\\
'''Composition:''' [=SO2=] (Silicon Dioxide)\\
'''Shape:''' Asymmetrical\\
'''Shell:''' Medium Sidewalls\\
'''Crystals:''' Small but well-saturated\\
'''Tenacity:''' Brittle
* "The Distance"
** Abraham just about orgasms when he discovers a can of spaghetti-os with cut up hot dogs.
** Daryl's reasoning for leaving with Aaron for the safe zone? "This barn smells like horseshit."
** Abraham notices the battery is almost dead, but after Rosita tells him they're halfway to Alexandria, he smiles, the happy music swells and he states: "We can make it." [[GilliganCut Then we cut to a shot of the group standing around outside the broken down R.V.]]
* "Remember"
** Standing outside the gates to the safe zone, the group hears a noise and the ''entire group'' turns in unison, their weapons raised....at a possum. Daryl then shoots it and holds it up, telling the greeter, "We brought dinner."
*** The fact that he then carries it around and eventually skins it inside this gated community is also pretty amusing.
*** He even brings it with him to the interview with Deanna.
** Rick shaves, and Alexandria's leader, Deanna, does a double-take on seeing him, going, "I had no idea what was under there."
*** His exasperated expression afterward is the best.
** Carol not believing Daryl when he said he's taken a shower and threatening to hose him down in his sleep.
** Carol's ObsfuscatingStupidity act in her interviews and fumbling with her gun, pretending to be a burden on the rest of the group and the family's den mother, so that the Alexandrians don't know what she can do.
*** Daryl's reaction to seeing her dressed like a step ford wife.
--> "You look ridiculous."
* "Forget"
** Carol shoots a walker several times in the woods before shooting it in the head. When Rick and Daryl look confused, she tells them that she had to use the ammo up because they said they were going out for target practice, which prompts a deadpan from Daryl, "Lucky for us the walker showed up."
** Buttons the horse. The name, not [[EatenAlive what happens]] [[TearJerker to it]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The video games]]
!!The Telltale Games series
'''Warning: Spoilers for previous episodes may be present and unmarked in each section.'''

!!!Season 1
[[AC:In general]]
* As you may already know, you can choose Lee not to say any response whenever possible or the option "..." is available. However, there's a LetsPlay dedicated for this. You can watch the entire playlist [[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzW9_c6jKcHYy_V9Tf8pbVQfX4swRXCrG here]], or a different version [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-aeSqC6aX35_fu8uZpb5yHjYHFRPxz0V here]].
** One hilarious point is when Lee finds out [[spoiler:The St Johns are Cannibals.]] Lee can be silent the entire time, doing nothing but standing and looking angry, and everyone acts like he's lost his mind. Then Brenda realises what Lee's done and spills the beans anyway.
** As remaining silent when meeting the cancer survivors results in Lee being shot, anyone at that point must either threaten them or reason with them. If Lee threatens them, Vernon will later say at the mansion "Look what you did to make me come with you", even though the scene where you convince him to come with you happens slightly later, and Lee doesn't have to say anything.
* Some jerk options from Lee can actually be assholishly hilarious. For example:
** During a dispute in pharmacy in Episode 1, siding with Larry would result in this statement, "We do what you say! We'll throw [Duck] out and keep the group safe!" in a somewhat fiery tone. Kenny's reaction's tone while saying "Lee??! [[WhatTheHellHero What the fuck, man?!]]" is understandably surprised, as if Lee suggested that all of sudden and out of nowhere.
** In Episode 2, Lee's not only not giving the rations at all to any of Kenny, Duck, or Clementine, but also keeps them for himself; prompting Kenny to angrily said "What the hell exactly is your problem?!" By this point, you know that you CrossTheLineTwice.
** And of course, there's also "Fuck you, Larry! Eat up!" in Episode 2 as mentioned below.
** Another is [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch "Put the gun down, bitch!"]], again in Episode 2 as mentioned below.
** When Clementine is missing, Lee can say something like this to Kenny: "A little girl is missing and you still think about yourself?! Go fuck yourself, Kenny, and grow the fuck up!" Kenny's expression is priceless, although he also immediately responded in anger.
** Ask Molly about her past, and then respond with "I don't care about your story, Molly."
--> '''Molly''': [[WhatTheHellPlayer Then, maybe you shouldn't have asked!"]]

[[AC:Episode 1 -- A New Day]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEyXaxuYtkc "HEY! ARE YOU DEAD?!"]]
* Lee attempts to use a universal remote control... to open a combination padlock.
--> '''Doug''': "[[DeadpanSnarker It's universal,]] [[CaptainObvious but not that kind of universal."]]
* Talking to Clementine:
--> '''Lee''': Feeling good is... [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment good]].
* Carley has a Crowning EpicFail of Funny with the radio. If you help her try to get the radio to work, it turns out the reason why is because the batteries are missing. After finding some batteries and giving them to a slightly embarrassed Carley, she complains it still doesn't work. Flip the radio over: the radio won't work because ''she put the batteries in facing the wrong way''. ''[[WhatAnIdiot Seriously]]'', woman?
** If [[spoiler: you choose her over Doug]], then in the second episode she ''still'' hasn't lived it down after a three month TimeSkip.
* This exchange:
--> '''Lee''': What if my leg gets infected? \\
'''Hershel Greene''': (''calmly'') We'll just have to [[MercyKill shoot you]]. \\
(''{{Beat}}, with Clementine making a [[OhCrap priceless expression]] in the background'') \\
'''Hershel Greene''': [[SubvertedTrope We'll clean it and redress it and it'll be fine.]] \\
'''Lee''': [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah. That'd be preferable]].
* If Hershel catches you in an outright lie, you get a notification that "Hershel will ''[[{{Oh Crap}} definitely]]'' remember that."
* When you rescue the girl at the motel, she mentions that her boyfriend got bitten, died, came back as a zombie, [[spoiler:and bit her]].
-->'''Glenn:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You have a boyfriend]]?
-->'''Carley''': '''[[WhatTheHellHero GLENN]]'''!
* When meeting Kenny's family, Duck is his usual hyperactive self. [[EstablishingCharacterMoment He shows up, breathless and excited, blurts something out, and bolts off]], leaving Kenny to the introductions:
-->'''Kenny:''' That's my son, Ken Jr. We usually call him Duck, though. \\
'''Lee:''' [[{{Duck}} Dodging or quacking?]] \\
'''Kenny:''' Quacking. \\
'''Duck:''' (''offscreen, impatiently'') DAAAAD! \\
'''Kenny:''' See?
** If you choose "Who names their kid Duck?" you get this:
-->'''Kenny:''' Nothing bothers him. Like water off a duck's back, you know?
-->'''Lee:''' Seems like a valuable trait to have, lately.
-->'''Kenny:''' Yeah. But frankly, I think it's because he's dumb as a bag of hammers. (''pause'') But he makes up for it with enthusiasm.
* Shawn's awkward response if Lee mentioned his ex-wife after the former asked about Lee's family.
--> '''Shawn''': "Ah. Oh. Yeah. Sure."
* During the motel clean-out sequence, you can grab a pillow as a tool and look at one group of zombies.
-->'''Lee:''' I've got two corpses and one pillow.
-->'''Glenn:''' An age-old problem.
* If you talk to Lilly and Larry after the latter is suffering from his heart condition.
-->'''Lee:''' He's got quite a temper...
-->'''Larry:''' FUCK YOU!

[[AC:Episode 2 -- Starved For Help]]
* Kenny's face if you offer him food. Derp.
* When Lee looks at the block of salt in the barn, Duck tells him it's a salt lick.
--> '''Clementine''': But don't lick it, [[ItTastesLikeFeet it tastes gross]]. \\
'''Lee''': Did ''you'' lick it? \\
'''Clementine''': (''{{Beat}}'') [[BlatantLies I dunno...]]
* If you told Clementine the barn smells like shit in Episode 1, she pipes up that the barn in Episode 2 smells like shit in front of everyone in the barn, including Kenny's family and [[EvenEvilHasStandards even Andrew St. John]], causing all of whom to stare at her and Katjaa to give Lee the evil eye. Lee then has to [[HypocriticalHumor hypocritically]] admonish her for using a swear word.
* If Doug is in your group when Brenda St. John offers the basket of biscuits, it cuts away from him for just a couple of seconds. The next time he's in the shot, he's chewing and crumbs fly out of his mouth when he says, "Sorry."
** He then returns to the motel along with Ben, but eats ALL the biscuits on the way.
* When Kenny and Lee are trying to get through a locked door;
--> '''Kenny:''' Hey, Lee. You know how to pick a lock, right? \\
'''Lee:''' ''No! ''Why would you say that? \\
'''Kenny:''' Well. You're...you know...''urban''? \\
'''Lee:''' Oh, you are ''not'' saying what I think you're saying.\\
'''Kenny:''' Jesus, man, I'm from [[OnlyInFlorida Florida!]] Crazy shit just comes out of my mouth sometimes!
* At the St. John Diary:
-->'''Larry''': I got charm comin' out of my ass!
-->'''Lilly''': [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, that's... real charming, Dad]].
* After Lee and Kenny's encounter with Danny in the barn, Brenda hears Lee approaching the farmhouse and calls out asking if it's Andrew or Danny. One possible response is a goofily Southern-accented "Yeah! It's me!" Somehow made funnier by Brenda's ''very'' immediate reaction: "[[spoiler:''[[OhCrap Oh my god!]]'']]"
* And the achievement for finishing the chapter - "[[VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland You Fight Like a Dairy Farmer]]".
* If you ask why there's a wheelbarrow [[spoiler:full of bloody, discarded clothes]] to Danny, he'll [[BadLiar attempt to cover his tracks with a lie that holds absolutely no water]].
* The otherwise very tense scene where you [[spoiler: try to warn everyone that they're going to eat Mark's legs]] can get some levity if, in response to Larry grousing "it's always something with this guy," Lee replies "Fuck you Larry, eat up!" The close up of Larry eating and chewing [[spoiler: a piece of Mark's legs]] is as priceless as it is disturbing. Following this, Larry's OhCrap, combined with [[spoiler:IAteWhat]], expression is priceless!
** Also, out of the three things Lee can shout when he comes into the room, you can have him shout "[[spoiler: IT'S PEOPLE!]]", referring to the food. Brenda responds by [[spoiler: simply saying that, [[CaptainObvious yes, this is a room full of people]].]] However, the comedy comes at a cost, as having him say this [[spoiler: results in Clementine eating the food]].
* At the start of the episode, Mark and Lee are talking about why Larry dislikes him (Lee) - the player has a choice of reasons as to why Larry dislikes him, including "he's a old racist asshole". Later when Mark and Larry are fixing the wall and ask for Lee's axe, Mark will tell Larry to stop fighting with Lee as racism is outdated. It's kind of hilarious how Mark can't keep his mouth shut.
* At the start of the episode, Clementine is showing Ben and Duck a picture she drew. Neither of them can guess what it is.
* [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch "Put the gun down, bitch!"]] is a response you can give to [[spoiler:Brenda St. John]] when the latter was holding [[spoiler:Katja]] in a gunpoint, making the response a case of TooDumbToLive. [[spoiler:Unsurprisingly, this results in a NonStandardGameOver.]]

[[AC:Episode 3 -- Long Road Ahead]]
* When Duck volunteers himself to help you find clues about the stolen supplies, he naturally compares himself to a certain sidekick.
-->'''Duck''': You're [[Franchise/{{Batman}} the world's greatest detective]] and I'm Dick Grayson, your ''ward!'' (''{{beat}}'') That's Robin!
-->'''Lee''': I know who that is!
** If you decide to try and make sure Duck doesn't help you solve a mystery, then he'll decide to help regardless of what you say, and then he'll talk for a while before walking off to find clues. The notification increases it:
--> [[LemonyNarrator "Looks like Duck is going to help you, anyway."]]
* Early on, while searching for clues about who is stealing supplies, Duck helps Lee out and at one point you have the option to high-five him. If you do, a message appears on the screen that says "Duck thinks you are incredibly awesome."
** And if you don't high-five him. ''[[TakeThatScrappy You left Duck hanging.]]'' He spends most of the remaining scene looking angry.
* If Lee shows the broken flashlight to [[HopelessWithTech Carley]], the resulting conversation is hilariously awkward.
-->'''Lee''': Do you know anything about this flashlight?
-->'''Carley''': [[CaptainObvious It's broken!]]
-->'''Lee''': I know it's broken!
-->'''Carley''': And [[CallBack the batteries might be in backwards]].
-->'''Lee''': It uses just one.
-->'''Carley''': Everything should... What was the question?
* If Lee shows the broken flashlight to [[GadgeteerGenius Doug]], on the other hand...
-->'''Lee''': Do you know anything about this flashlight?
-->'''Doug''': (''starts to say something'')
-->'''Lee''': (''interrupts'') W-wait, I know you know ''everything'' about this flashlight. I mean if you know anything about how it got broken.
-->'''Doug''': Oh. No.
* Asking Doug if he has any chalk results in him mentioning that the kids have it. He then goes on to explain everything that's in chalk, and the year it originated in. Lee's response makes it all the better.
-->'''[[OnlySaneMan Lee]]''': I did not know that Doug.
* If Lee shows the flashlight to Clementine we get this exchange.
-->'''Lee''': You didn't accidentally break a flashlight, did you?
-->'''Clementine''': No. Did Duck say I did?
-->'''Lee''': No. Did Duck break the flashlight?
-->'''Clementine''': I don't think so. He's just always blaming me for stuff.
-->'''Lee''': Like what?
-->'''Clementine''': Putting a bug on his pillow.
-->'''Lee''': Did you do that?
-->(''{{beat}}'')
-->'''Clementine''': (''mischievous smile'') Yes.
** Later when Lee is asking Duck if he's found any more clues.
-->'''Lee''': Have you found anything else?
-->'''Duck''': Just the chalk. I also found some bugs underneath the stairs. Don't tell Clementine.
-->(''{{beat}}'')
-->'''Lee''': Okay... I won't.
* If you gain Kenny's loyalty, Kenny's quiet OhCrap reaction if you tell him [[spoiler:that you're a criminal.]] And this lead to this conversation after a long pause:
-->'''Kenny''': (''casually'') It wasn't for touchin' kids, was it?
-->'''Lee''': Gah, come on, man!
-->'''Kenny''': What? I gotta ask!
** Also before you tell him about it, "Oh man, what'd the she-devil do to you..."
* After meeting a slightly nutty hobo:
-->'''Katjaa''': It's nice to meet someone normal for a change.
-->'''Lee''': (''opens his mouth to say something, then changes his mind'')
* Ben's guilty, shifty-eyed look when Lee finds him eating the last of Chuck's candy.
* If Lee speaks to Clementine after her first marksmanship lesson:
-->'''Clementine''': My hands hurt. And there's a noise in my head, like ''eeeeeeeeeeeee!''
** And don't forget the pout she makes when Lee tells her he has to cut her hair so it'll be harder for anyone to grab her (Walkers or otherwise). It's like >8[
* If you look closely in the RV, you can see [[SamAndMaxFreelancePolice Banang]] sitting in the cupholder.
* Lee complaining about Clementine's passivity towards Omid's swearing, "Oh, so ''he'' gets to swear?"
* The conversation between Clem and Lee reveals that another man had tried breaking into her house during Chapter 1, by throwing a rock at the sliding-glass door.
-->'''Lee:''' ...The door was open!
-->'''Clem:''' [[WhatAnIdiot He was dumb.]]
* This exchange:
-->'''Christa''': Who the hell is into Civil War history anyway? Other than old white guys.
--> (''{{Beat}}'')
--> (''[[InsultFriendlyFire Lee slowly raises his hand]]'')
** It's his expression that does it. His grin stretches from ear to ear.
* There are three ways that [[spoiler: Lee and Omid jumping onto the train]] can play out: [[spoiler: If Lee pushes Omid, Omid gets hurt because he wasn't ready to fall; if Lee tells Omid to jump, he refuses at first and jumping too late somehow messes up the landing; but if Lee is silent or goads Omid into jumping by saying all right stay here and they'll go with Omid's lady, Omid jumps first and still hurts himself, making it look like he just sucks at falling]].
** When Christa and Omid are running along side the train, you can elect not to help either of them and just shout "RUN FASTER!" [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdtAlcEclbk The mean options are often comical]].
* Talking to Ben on the train after exhausting all of his conversation options results in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-xQJTvXjGE this]] unintentionally funny gem:
-->'''Lee''': Hey Ben.
-->'''Ben''': (''Hopefully'') Hey.
-->'''Lee''': See ya.
-->'''Ben''': (''Looks away again, depressed'') Yeah.
** This could be intentional by the developers, because they want to give players a chance to give TakeThatScrappy to [[TheScrappy Ben]].
* When you're teaching Clementine how to use a gun, she'll ask you if there's anything else she needs to know (e.g. holding her breath to steady the shot). If you don't respond, she'll give Lee a confused, skeptical look and say "I guess I probably know everything, then. Being a little girl and all."
* Recall back at episode 2 when Kenny assumed Lee may be able to pick locks because he's, uh, "urban". It gets a callback near the end of episode 3 where Lee and Clementine get to the locked door of a train station. As he gives her a boost, Lee thinks about ''lock-picking'' the door.
* If asked if Ben ever went into Macon, he'll say that he didn't go there that frequently, and found it kind of pointless, unintentionally insulting Lee, who is ''from'' Macon. Ben immediately tries to save face and apologize.
* When you have to cut Clementine's hair. When Lee says "Don't mope, it's a good thing." The look she gives him is ''priceless.''
* One of the options when cutting her hair's funny too.
-->'''Clem:''' Have you ever cut hair before?
-->'''Lee:''' How hard can it be?
-->'''Clem:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I'm gonna look like a boy...]] (reaches up to feel her hair and [[DeathGlare glares]])

[[AC:Episode 4 -- Around Every Corner]]
* Should you take Clem with you to [[spoiler: Crawford]], Lee will ask her to stay with Ben while he goes looking for supplies. Both lines in the exchange are hilarious:
-->'''Clementine''': (''with a combination of nervousness and incredulity'') You're leaving me with ''[[TheLoad Ben?]]''
-->'''Lee''': I'm not leaving you with Ben. I'm leaving Ben with ''you''.
** The funniest thing about Lee's line is that, given the discrepancy of competence between [[TheLoad Ben]] and [[WiseBeyondTheirYears Clementine]], he may actually be serious.
* When you get back to Clem after going to get the battery, you find her [[http://cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/37479739468456548/0B9F00660D203E38408C857C19C63EFEC4E75C62/ sitting at a desk]], as though she were back at school.
* The dialogue options (aside from the usual silence) available when you and your group encounter a herd of zombies are, "Oh, shit," "Oh fuck," and "'''RUN!!!'''"
* TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything: If you used "manure" with Clem in Episode 1, if you say, "Holy ''shit!''" in her presence, she'll primly remind, "Swear."
* One of the segments of Chapter 6 is titled simply as thus: "[[spoiler:Ben Screws Up]]". It is dismayingly accurate.
* [[CaptainObvious "So, now we're on a roof."]]
* After Ben [[spoiler:removes the hatchet that was holding the playground door shut]], Lee asks "Where did you get that?" like he's talking to a 5 year old.
* When the group is escaping from the school and [[spoiler:Ben confesses to making a deal with the bandits, that caused the death of Kenny's family]] the group votes whether or not to keep him with them. If Clementine is with you she'll ask if she gets a vote. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=zdtAlcEclbk#t=459s You can say "no".]]

[[AC:Episode 5 -- No Time Left]]
* [[MoodWhiplash "You ruined that dude's face."]]
** "Shut up, sweetie."
* [[TemptingFate "She wouldn't hurt a fly."]]
* The player can have a [[BlackComedy morbidly hilarious]] [[WhatAnIdiot I Am A Goddamn Idiot]] moment if they attempt to grab a baseball bat to fight off a Walker, only to be reminded that they are ''handcuffed to a radiator''. This goes double if you [[spoiler:had your free arm amputated at the start of the episode.]]
* Notification: "[[BlackComedy This is going to hurt.]]" Boy howdy.
** If Christa is the one to [[spoiler: cut off Lee's arm]], he can ask for her to do it quickly. The actual suddenness with which she jumps into it is terrifyingly hilarious.
** It's even more hilarious if Lee starts to say something and gets interrupted by the sound of his own agonized screaming.
** Even better is how he phrases the decision.
-->'''Lee''': Fuck it. [[spoiler: Cut it off.]]
* When asked how his arm is feeling, one of Lee's responses is "It was my least favorite hand, anyway."
* Kenny reacting to the [[spoiler:boat being stolen by Vernon and the cancer support group:]]
-->'''Kenny''': I don't give a fuck if their Make-A-Wish was a fuckin' boat ride, I'm gonna find them and rip their throats out!
* When Lee turns around to see The Stranger behind him and aiming a pistol at him, one of his possible dialogue choices is a simple hello. This throws the poor guy off his stride a little.
-->'''Stranger:''' Okay... This is civil.
* The group is working themselves up to using a sign to cross from one rooftop to another.
-->'''Omid:''' [[TemptingFate Well, at least it doesn't look like a deathtrap.]] \\
(''on cue, the sign creaks ominously, earning Omid a [[DeathGlare Look]] from Christa'')
* When Lee has to jump from a bell tower to the top of the hospital, he assures the group that he can make it. You can, however, choose...
-->'''Lee:''' (''to himself'') I'm so fucked.
** The option to psych yourself up for it isn't too bad either:
-->'''Lee:''' You got this. You got this, motherfucker!
* [[PrecisionFStrike "Fuck it.]] [[LeeroyJenkins I'm going for it!"]]
** Also, if you wait a while before jumping back to the hospital from the bell tower, Omid will start shouting encouragement. "I believe in you! ...On three, okay? One, two, three! ...You didn't jump!"
* Clem realizing fairly quickly that Lee is going to coat her in zombie guts -- she says, "...[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, no...]]" Then the little {{Squick}}y shivering noises as Lee applies it to her is oddly hilarious.
* If you choose to take Ben with you and you decide to [[spoiler:cut off your arm:]], Ben faints from the sight of it.

[[AC:400 Days]]
* Wyatt LeaningOnTheFourthWall during his observations.
--> '''Wyatt:''' *on a rear view mirror* Cant see shit.
--> '''Eddie:''' Who are you talking to?
--> '''Wyatt: ''' Uh, you?
--> '''Eddie:''' Oh. *Beat* What did you say?

--> '''Wyatt:''' *upon finding a backpack* It'd be great, backpack if you could tell me if your owner was alive or not.
--> '''Wyatt:''' Alright, I guess I'll just keep talking to myself out here because that makes sense...
* [[{{Jerkass}} Nate]] has a funny way of getting Russell to "loosen up":
--> '''Nate:''' Come on, scale of 1 to 10... What do you think?
--> ''(a female walker starts bashing on the passenger side window)''
--> '''Nate:''' She was slammin' before she was rotten, right? What do you think? Here, get a look.
--> ''(Nate rolls the window down and the walker grabs Russell)''
--> '''Russell:''' FUCK!?! AHH! AHHH!
--> '''Nate:''' Like a nine, right?!
--> '''Russell:''' GET OFF ME!
--> '''Nate:''' Maybe you got high standards.
--> '''Russell:''' NA--HELP!
--> '''Nate:''' If you say five, I'm gonna flip. Tell me, Russ!
* Wyatt and Eddie's conversations in general. They're just two slacker-like type friends discussing and dealing with serious things in a rather humorous way. Eddie's story about Abigail is pretty much takes the cake:
--> '''Eddie:''' You know, one time I was going out with this girl right; Abigail, you remember her. She told me that... she was five I think, her dad took her to the circus sideshow. They walked around for a while. Saw the chick with two heads. Saw a dude with [[CallForward lobster]] [[CallBack hands.]] Some kind of monkey-human with a dick for a face, I don't know. She also said there was a little girl in there the size of an apple, but I called bullshit on that one. The point is, she saw there was this guy standing there, buck-naked and singing this weird-- Are you even listening to me?
--> ''({{Beat}})''
--> '''Eddie:''' The guy peed on her dad.
* Repeatedly tying at RockPaperScissors elicits some funny responses from Eddie.
* [[AcceptableTargets "Fuck Wall Street."]]
** [[EvenEvilHasStandards "FUCK Wall Street!"]]
*** [[RuleOfThree "Fuck. Wall Street."]]
* If you have Russell introduce himself as "Asswipe", Nate will mention it throughout the entire story.
-->'''Russell:''' Leave me alone.
-->'''Nate:''' ''Asswipe. Asssswiiipe.'' Come on, man.

--> '''Russell:''' You're fucking rude, man.
--> '''Nate:''' Asswipe's giving me fucking manners lessons?

--> '''Nate:''' Asswipe can move!

!!!Season 2

[[AC: In General]]
* For an eleven year old girl, Clem gets a lot of responsibility and even some authority from the adults in her group. She's the only one who knows how to turn off a windmill, using her [[SarcasmMode cunning intellect]] to use the key in the panel. You can make Clementine lampshade this in Episode 3.
* It's depressingly funny when the embodiment of human goodness from Season 1 is played as an evil, cynical, manipulative she-devil.
[[AC:Episode 1 -- All That Remains]]
* Pretty much any time Clementine breaks out the PuppyDogEyes, but especially against [[NiceGuy Alvin]], who calls her out on it... before giving in anyway.
* Clementine's [[DeadpanSnarker rather deadpan]] attitude to sewing herself up. [[FridgeHorror It's probably a coping mechanism,]] but it's still hard to not at least chuckle when she breaks the tense atmosphere with lines like "ThisIsGonnaSuck."
* Luke is incredulous when Pete decides to take Clementine at her word [[spoiler: that she was bitten by a dog, not a walker,]] and decides to bring her back to the group based solely on that. Pete counters that he has a good "bullshit detector" and that's why Luke he always wins at Poker. Luke is about to object to this but cuts himself off mid-sentence affirming that, yes, ''Pete has won every single time they've played Poker and he's just that good.''
* When Clementine sneaks into Sarah's room to ask her for help Sarah is afraid of what her Father would do if he found out. If you choose to ask what he would do Sarah says that he tells her he's disappointed in her and that he loves her and only wants her to be safe. Clem is not impressed.
--> '''Clementine''': That's it? Nothing else?
--> '''Sarah''': [[FelonyMisdemeanor Yeah, it's the worst.]]
** Even coming across her the first time can be unintentionally funny. Open the door and [[ScareChord dramatic music]] starts playing until Clementine realizes that it's just Sarah. She then shushes her.
** If you choose not to be her friend and check back at the room she's in, Sarah screams at you to go away like a child having a temper tantrum. Surprisingly, this doesn't alert the others.
* You can [[InvokedTrope invoke]] a G-Rated INeedAFreakingDrink of sorts by having Clem drink heavily from her juice-box before and after the particularly unpleasant parts of her arm-stitching.
* If, in Season 1, you describe the barn as smelling like "shit" during your conversation with Clementine, during the scene in Season 2 when she drops her water bottle she'll say "Oh, shit!" instead of "Oh, shoot!"
* During the window conversation with Alvin while you're sneaking around you can threaten to tell his wife to which he responds...
-->'''Alvin''': ...Muthafucka!
-->'''Clementine''': Hey! Language!

[[AC:Episode 2 -- A House Divided]]
* People comparing Clementine to a girl on a can of peaches. She is not amused.
** After the second time, you have the option of Clem looking at the can of peaches and making an expression that just says "''Do I really look like that?''"
* While talking about [[spoiler:Carver and his group]] hunting them, Alvin gives us this little gem.
-->'''Carlos''': We can't be sure. They might be tracking us.
-->'''Alvin''': Tracking? Who do you think they are, {{ninja}}s?
* Clementine's face if you [[spoiler:went with Pete]] and he asks for a cigarette. You can say they're gross and he'll get nasty and make her use her lighter. She makes a face like she's annoyed and frustrated.
* On the bridge you get this choice:
-->'''Clementine''': "''I'm'' not an asshole."
-->'''Luke''': "Are you saying I'm an asshole?"
** Interestingly, this could be a ShoutOut to ''Survival Instinct'' (see ''Survival Instinct'' entry below).
* While climbing up the Ski Lift, you can make another crack at Luke's expense.
-->'''Luke''':(in a comforting tone, with his arms out) Just look at me...
-->'''Clementine''':(Looks back down at Luke) You look like an idiot.
-->'''Luke''':(Folds arms) >:[ Just climb the thing already!
* Just before you cross the bridge, when Clementine's having trouble pulling her hammer out of a walker's skull:
-->'''Luke''': Just give it a good pull. It'll come loose.
-->'''Clementine''': I know. I've done this before. Remember? In a shed?
* Luke's meek defense of the cabin group if you say you're only with them because you don't have anywhere else to go:
-->'''Luke''': We're uh... We're smarter than we look.
* Some moments when you're teaching Sarah how to shoot:
** This instance of Clementine parroting what Lee said to her without really understanding what it means.
-->'''Clementine''':(referring to gun) It's just a thing.
-->'''Sarah''': What does that mean?
-->'''Clementine''': ...I don't know.
** This:
-->'''Clementine''': Before you go to shoot, take a breath.
-->'''Sarah''': (Takes a ''REALLY'' deep breath and holds it)
-->'''Clementine''': Not that deep.
** Aaand this:
-->'''Sarah''': What should I shoot? (Aims her '''thankfully unloaded''' gun at Clementine's head)
-->'''Clementine''': ! (Ducks) Don't do that!
* Remember earlier when Pete said if Clementine ever tried to fire a rifle she'd probably get knocked on her ass? [[BrickJoke Turns out he was right.]]
* Nick does a shockingly good impression of Carlos.
-->'''Nick''': They're probably over there talkin' 'bout me now. (puts on a Spanish accent) "Luke, he's becoming a danger to the group."
* [[spoiler: Kenny]] calls Nick "Vanilla Ice" during an argument. Good to know his wit hasn't degraded any.
* In the scene where [[spoiler: Kenny]] and Clementine are catching up, she has the option of saying [[spoiler: Christa told her he was dead]]. He responds with this gem:
--> (with a wistful expression) I am. This is all a dream.
** That's a bit of a FunnyAneurysmMoment considering that later [[spoiler: he appears to be losing his mind over the death of his wife and son.]]
* When Walter tells [[spoiler: Kenny]] that he and Clem were talking about politics and since [[spoiler: he's]] from [[spoiler: Florida ]], he should be familiar with it, [[spoiler: Kenny]] responds with another gem:
--> "Man, I know one advantage of living in [[ZombieApocalypse the apocalypse]] is not having to deal with that shit no more."
** This is also a CallBack to Season 1, where you can make Lee said to Katja about things that have been bad before the outbreak, like banks and politics, and how those "craps" are all gone.
* Clementine giving a deadpan "ow" when Luke hits her affectionately on the back.
* When the adults open up the panel on the wind turbine and can't figure out how to turn it off, Clem offers to do it while they watch the area. She can promptly take the key that's hanging on a hook inside the panel and use it to turn the big red button that is presumably the emergency stop. Just the fact that the adults didn't even consider whether there'd be something as simple as an emergency stop is inherently funny.
* This exchange when [[spoiler:Carver]] visited the cabin where there were only Clementine and Sarah at the time:
--> [[spoiler:'''Carver''']]: "You know, you're not very polite for a little girl."
--> '''Clementine''': "And you're not very polite for an adult."
** Also doubles as CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
* This exchange after the group left the cabin and Luke suggested he would check the bridge with Clementine, which Carlos wanted to oppose:
--> '''Carlos''': "But she's just... she's [[JustAKid just a little girl]]."
--> '''Clementine''' (possible response): [[YouAreNotMyFather "You're not my dad, Carlos."]]
--> '''Carlos''': [[DeadpanSnarker "And you're lucky you're not my daughter."]]
--> '''Clementine''': [[LittleMissSnarker "Thank god."]]
* If Clementine doesn't help Sarah take her picture, Sarah will take the picture herself, making a silly face as she does so. It gets funnier when [[spoiler:Carver]] finds the picture and shows it to Clementine.

[[AC:Episode 3 -- In Harm's Way]]
* Kenny cutting off his restraints and getting ready to jump Carver and his men...only for the truck to brake suddenly and smack his face into the door, knocking him out.
-->'''Carlos''': Probably for the best.
** Also, Kenny's plan for taking on the group of armed men guarding the truck: punch the first motherfucker he sees, then use his gun to shoot the others. He's confident that it'll go over without a hitch.
** In a darkly humorous example, The scene opens up on a shot of Kenny grimacing. Directly behind him is a warning label warning about a "Crush Hazard"
* Bonnie gives Clementine a blue rainbow jacket as a gift to keep her warm in the community. Whether Clementine finds it cute to wear or not, Bonnie insists that she'll be the envy of her friends when they see her wear the cool jacket. Then Tavia enters and says:
-->'''Tavia''': Oh, there you are. What's with the ugly jacket?
-->'''Bonnie''': Tavia!
-->'''Tavia''': What?
* Reggie's awkward way of showing affection to Clementine by patting her on the head. Looking at Clementine's unimpressed look, Reggie sheepishly apologises and promises not to do it again.
* Reggie boasts that Carver's place has working electricity and asks how many places can say that. Only to be informed by Sarah that the place they came from had a working generator.
** Best bit is when Reggie quickly cuts her off saying "This isn't a competition!"
** After the whole extremely awkward scene, he comments "This didn't exactly go to plan. Probably should have made a plan."
* Carver giving the group 'till 3 to give him the other walkie-talkie and then blatantly MovingTheGoalposts by saying "3" just as Kenny gives it to him. [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown It's not funny for long, though.]]
-->'''Kenny''': ...[[YouMonster fucker.]]
* Clementine's [[{{Adorkable}} awkwardness]] if you ask Sarah if she wants a hug after [[spoiler: Carver made her dad hit her.]] She even says she'll sneak up on her later and give one when she least expects it. All in a stilted, uncomfortable tone.
* Troy's reaction when he walks outside and sees everyone, including the children, rubbing zombie entrails all over each other. Just imagine walking outside and seeing something like that without knowing what they were doing.
-->'''Troy''': What in the actual fuck is going on here!?
* If you wait a little bit when you get your first dialog option with Reggie, he'll say [[AnArmAndALeg "... This freaks you out."]]
* [[spoiler:Troy]] has quite possibly the the most hilarious last words in fiction since Craig Toomey in Literature/TheLangoliers.
-->"''YOU SHOT MY DICK OFF, YOU BITCH!''"
* After the third time in a single episode that someone needs to be picked for an important mission, ''everyone'' looks straight at Clem. One possible response to this is "Why is it always me?"
* Clementine and Sarah's reaction to Troy asking them how their bathroom break went.
-->"Everything come out all right, girls?"
* Sarita's calm and amused retaliation to Troy's LameComeback when she defends Reggie and Clementine.
--> '''Troy''': No one's talking to you...(stutters) Indian Lady!
--> '''Kenny''': Hey!
--> '''Sarita''': No, it's fine. I ''am'' Indian.
* In the beginning, when the group is tied up in Carver's truck, Carlos is trying to convince Kenny that his gung-ho attitude is going to get him (and maybe others) killed:
--> '''Carlos''': "I am pointing out that, regardless of intent, there are consequences to rash actions. Something that he seems to be [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness misreading as capitulation]]."
--> '''Kenny''': I don't know what the FUCK you just said, but I know it's BULLSHIT!"

[[AC:Episode 4 -- Amid the Ruins]]
* When Luke realizes the thing they need to use to climb up into the skylight was also the thing that was blocking the door.
--> '''Luke''': Aw, shit.
* Mike, Bonnie and Clem finding a coat for Rebecca. A confederate coat.
** While Mike is cautiously protesting the UnfortunateImplications, Rebecca, upon being given the coat, [[SkewedPriorities immediately asks if they think she would care about being picky about that in the circumstances]].
* Mike proclaiming, in a ''completely deadpan voice,'' that he'd "eat the shit out of that raccoon," followed by him clarifying that he'd eat the raccoon after Clem and Bonnie give him weird looks.
** "How'd I get to a place where I'm ''sad'' I'm not eating raccoon?"
* Clementine can tell Mike that Jane taught her to take out the knees to make it easier to kill walkers.
--> '''Mike''': A good smack to the head's always done fine for me.
--> ''[Mike runs up and kills a walker with a blow to the head, but fails to kill the second in one blow]''
--> '''Mike''': Oh crap! ''[kills the second walker with another blow]''
--> '''Clementine''': So the knee is about halfway down the leg.
--> '''Mike''': Yeah, okay...
* When Clementine has to try and pick up a barrel of water. No matter how quickly you press 'Q', she can't do it. And then Mike comes and picks it up like it's weightless. Even though he's already carrying another, bigger water barrel.
* Luke summing up the entire game in a single sentence...
--> "Does this shit ever end?!"
* While it is completely unintended, some [[spoiler:Russian]] players have noted that the voice actors for the [[spoiler:Russian Group]] [[GratuitousForeignLanguage have]] ''[[GratuitousForeignLanguage no]]'' [[GratuitousForeignLanguage idea how to pronounce their lines,]] [[{{narm}} turning an otherwise shocking and tense scene into a rather hilarious butchering of their language]].
** Ignoring that, however, one of [[spoiler:the Russians - Vitali -]] has some ''hilariously'' AxCrazy lines.
---> [[spoiler: '''Vitali (Translated)''']]: "I can kill any three of them with my bare hands, we don't even need the weapons! That's right, I mean you, [[spoiler: eyepatch man]], you're weak and I could tear out your throat with my teeth, who needs to use bullets for the likes of you? I'll kill you all and eat your entrails for breakfast!"
* [[http://melsempi.tumblr.com/post/92709465524/jane-tells-clementine-a-joke This]] [[DummiedOut cut]] joke Jane was supposed to tell Clementine CrossesTheLineTwice.
** What makes it better is how much it contrasts with Jane's normal personality as well as Clementine's reaction to hearing it.
-->Jane: "Hmm, you know that old joke about the two hillbillies and all the sheep? [[SoBadItsGood Oh it's a good one.]] This father and son are walking through the county and climb a hill, and down below them see this field full of sheep. Now, the son gets all excited and says "Dad, let's run down there [[RefugeInAudacity and fuck one of them sheep]]!" [[BestialityIsDepraved And the father looks at him and shakes his head, he's disappointed in him.]] "Son." he says, "That's just wrong!" The son hangs his head and the father says "Let's [[CrossesTheLineTwice WALK down there and fuck ALL of them sheep]]!" Heh heh heh, you get it?"
-->Clementine: "[[ChildrenAreInnocent No]]."

[[AC:Episode 5 - No Going Back]]
* Most of the interaction around the campfire is a mix of this and heartwarming, with Luke getting teased about having ADegreeInUseless prior to the outbreak.
* While sitting around a campfire, Bonnie teases Luke over his and Jane's hooking up, leading to this exchange.
-->'''Clementine:''' I know what you're talking about...
-->'''Bonnie''': I certainly hope not.
-->'''Clementine''': [[ChildrenAreInnocent You're talking about kissing stuff.]]
-->''({{Beat}})''
-->'''Luke:''' Uh, yeah! Yes. Yes, that... [[SureLetsGoWithThat that is exactly it.]]
-->'''Mike:''' ''Was'' there any kissing?
-->'''Bonnie''': [[NotInFrontOfTheKid You shut your mouth right now]]. The both of you.
** If Clementine talks to Jane about her "making it" with Luke, it's implied she was just playing dumb and actually does know what they were doing.
* If Clementine asks Jane hold the baby, Jane gets afraid that he might puke on her, and when she does hold him, he actually does.
* Kenny and Jane's sniping at each other is hilariously petty.
-->'''Kenny:''' WHAT'S THAT SWEETHEART? CAN'T HEAR YA, YOU'RE TALKIN' INTO MY BAD EAR.
-->'''Jane:''' Asshole!
-->'''Kenny:''' [[BlatantLies NOPE, STILL CAN'T HEAR YA!]]
* Clementine showing her experience with her arm wound while cleaning Kenny's eye.
-->'''Clem:''' So, this is gonna hurt like hell.
-->'''Kenny:''' You could've lied a little.
* When Clementine is given the baby to look after while Kenny and Jane investigate the power plant, she glances at Mike who simply replies, "Nope. That's on you".

!!Survival Instinct
* Daryl explaining he's not the 'asshole' sniper on the rooftop.
--> '''Daryl''': I'm a different asshole.
* The exchange of words between sun-stroked Merle and Daryl as Merle shoots the door thinking that someone's trying to trick him by impersonating Daryl's voice.
* After Daryl brings food for an officer who locked himself in the prison cell and doesn't have the key...
--> '''Daryl''': What will you do when the food runs out? (officer is speechless)
* Merle going on a detour just to get his drug stash. Daryl is not happy about this.
[[/folder]]

** Buttons the horse. The name, not [[TearJerker what happens to it]].

** Buttons the horse. The name, not [[Tearjerker: what happens to it.]]

** Carol shoots a walker several times in the woods before shooting it in the head. When Rick and Daryl look confused, she tells them that she had to use the ammo up because they said they were going out for target practice, which prompts a deadpan from Daryl," Lucky for us the walker showed up."