History Funny / ScaryStoriesToTellInTheDark

* The illustration for "The Babysitter". The baby appears to be smirking at the audience.

* "Is Something Wrong?" is about a terrified man is being pursued by a gigantic "horrible thing" with bloody goo pouring from its eyes, a skull for a face and long gnarled arms. When the exhausted man cannot run any further, he finally stops, and turns around upon feeling a tap on his shoulder. The man finds himself face-to-face with the abomination, who politely says...

* The illustration in "The Babysitter". The baby in the illustration appears to be smirking at the audience.
* The ending to "The Ghost with Bloody Fingers"

* A terrified man being pursued by a gigantic "horrible thing" with a skull with bloody goo pouring from its eyes, exposed bones on its face, and long, boney arms. When the man cannot run any further, when his exhaustion is greater than his survival instinct, he collapses to the ground, and faces the horrifying abomination, who says...

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWaJeep1MxA film version]] of "The Church", where a man goes into an abandoned church to get out of a thunderstorm. The lightning flashes, he sees the pews full of what appear to be ghosts in white clothing, he runs out of the church...and smack into a sheep, which is what the "ghosts" were.

* "Aaron Kelly's Bones". The widow isn't scared of [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight her dead husband hanging around the house]], but merely annoyed and exasperated because she can't collect his insurance money until he goes back to his grave. Eventually the fiddler does manage to make him dance until he disintegrates, but is so weirded out [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere he gives up on wooing the widow completely]]. "Chicken Reel" and "Turkey in the Straw" playing during the narration only make it funnier.
* "The Dead Man's Brains". While in reality this is just the description of a party game, the true humor lies in the audiobook version, where George S. Irving is [[{{Narm}} hamming it up while recounting the story that the game is based around]] while also clearly [[{{Corpsing}} trying to compose himself]] as he describes the "remains" of the old man.
** Adding to that is him flat-out giggling when listing the noodles in the game.
* "The Attic". A man goes into the attic to look for his dog only to open the door and scream. At this point the audience is supposed to ask, "Why did he scream?" to which the narrator is supposed to respond, "You'd scream too if you [[AgonyOfTheFeet stepped on a nail in your bare feet.]]"
* "Cemetery Soup": While walking through the cemetery on the way back from the store, a woman finds a bone and decides to put it in her soup. She prepares the soup with the bone and goes about her business. Then an unknown figure comes into her house to ask timidly at first if it could have its bone back, before getting angrier and louder ("I WANT MY BONE BACK!"). The woman at first treats it like nothing, but at the last part, she throws the bone outside, screaming just as loudly "''TAKE IT!''" Whatever entered the house quickly leaves with the bone, and the woman has her soup. Happy ending!
* "Wait Till Martin Comes". An old man takes shelter in an abandoned house during a storm. While there, he sees a black cat before dozing off. When he wakes, he then sees two other black cats, one the size of a wolf, and the other the size of a tiger. On two occasions the two bigger cats ask, "Shall we do it now?", to which they're answered with, "No. Let's wait till Martin comes." Finally, the old man just [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere jumps out the window and bolts out of there as fast as he can]], and yells, "When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn't wait!"
* "Sam's New Pet". How Sam's parents mistook ''a rabid sewer rat'' for a dog, we'll never know.

* "Wait Till Martin Comes". An old man takes shelter in an abandoned house during a storm. While there, he sees a black cat before dozing off. When he wakes, he then sees two other black cats, one the size of a wolf, and the other the size of a tiger. On two occasions the two bigger cats ask, "Shall we do it now?", to which they're answered with, "No. Let's wait till Martin comes.: Finally the old man just [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere jumps out the window and bolts out of there as fast as he can]], and yells, "When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn't wait!"

* The hilariously anticlimactic ending to "The Babysitter". The titular character is continually being harassed by a lunatic over the phone, and it turns out he was hiding in the house the whole time. Then he comes down the stairs... and is promptly arrested by the police.[[note]]One can only guess why Mr. Schwartz didn't choose to adapt one of the many, ''many'' variations of this urban legend where the lunatic actually ''succeeds'' in killing the babysat kids - and in some versions, even the babysitter herself.[[/note]]
** The baby in the illustration appears to be smirking at the audience.

* "Aaron Kelly's Bones". The widow isn't scared of [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight her dead husband hanging around the house]], but merely annoyed and exasperated because she can't collect his insurance money until he goes back to his grave. Eventually the fiddler does manage to make him dance until he disintegrates, but is so weirded out [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere he gives up on wooing the widow completely]]. "Turkey in the Straw" playing during the narration only makes it funnier.

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERLaA8qSE1Q film version]] of "The Church", where a man goes into an abandoned church to get out of a thunderstorm. The lightning flashes, he sees the pews full of what appear to be ghosts in white clothing, he runs out of the church...and smack into a sheep, which is what the "ghosts" were.

--> '''Woman:''' Who are you?!
--> '''The Viper:''' I am the viper. [[FunetikAksent I vish to vash and vipe the vindows]].

* “Wait Till Martin Comes”. An old man takes shelter in an abandoned house during a storm. While there, he sees a black cat before dozing off. When he wakes, he then sees two other black cats, one the size of a wolf, and the other the size of a tiger. On two occasions the two bigger cats ask, “Shall we do it now?”, to which they’re answered with, “No. Let’s wait till Martin comes.” Finally the old man just [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere jumps out the window and bolts out of there as fast as he can]], and yells, “When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn’t wait!”
* “Sam’s New Pet”. How Sam’s parents mistook ''a rabid sewer rat'' for a dog, we’ll never know.

* "The Slithery Dee" in an almost BlackComedy sort of way. Essentially, a group of people encounter a sea monster, and only one of them manages to survive. Instead of doing the smart thing and getting the hell out of there, he decided to narrate these events to us on the shoreline. Guess what happens next?

* "The Attic". A man goes into the attic to look for his dog only to open the door and scream. At this point the audience is supposed to ask, "Why did he scream?" to which the narrator is supposed to respond, "You'd scream too if you stepped on a nail in your bare feet."

* The hilariously anticlimactic ending to "The Babysitter". The titular character is continually being harassed by a lunatic over the phone, and it turns out he was hiding in the house the whole time. Then he comes down the stairs... [[RealityEnsues and is promptly arrested by the police]].[[note]]One can only guess why Mr. Schwartz didn't choose to adapt one of the many, ''many'' variations of this urban legend where the lunatic actually ''succeeds'' in killing the babysat kids - and in some versions, even the babysitter herself.[[/note]]

* The hilariously anticlimactic ending to "The Babysitter". The titular character is continually being harassed by a lunatic over the phone, and it turns out he was hiding in the house the whole time. Then he comes down the stairs... [[RealityEnsues and is promptly arrested by the police]].

* “Wait Till Martin Comes”. An old man takes shelter in an abandoned house. While there, he sees a black cat before dozing off. When he wakes, he then sees two other black cats, one the size of a wolf, and the other the size of a tiger. On two occasions the two bigger cats ask, “Shall we do it now?”, to which they’re answered with, “No. Let’s wait till Martin comes.” Finally the old man just [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere jumps out the window and bolts out of there as fast as he can]], and yells, “When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn’t wait!”

* “Wait Till Martin Comes”. An old man takes shelter in an abandoned house. While there, he sees a black cat before dozing off. When he wakes, he then sees two other black cats, one the size of a wolf, and the other the size of a tiger. On two occasions the two bigger cats ask, “Shall we do it now?”, to which they’re answered with, “No. Let’s wait till Martin comes.” Finally the old man just [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere jumps out the window and bolts as fast and can]], and yells, “When Martin comes, you tell him I couldn’t wait!”