History Funny / RifftraxFilmFranchises

2nd Dec '16 2:40:46 AM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->'''Harry''': Not to mention the pincers. *waggles his fingers in front of his face* Tch tch tch tch!\\
'''Kevin''': *as Hagrid, who's making the most appropriate face* Go to hell, Harry.

to:

-->'''Harry''': Not to mention the pincers. *waggles ''(waggles his fingers in front of his face* face)'' Tch tch tch tch!\\
'''Kevin''': *as Hagrid, who's making '''Kevin as Hagrid''': ''(as Hagrid makes the most appropriate face* face)'' Go to hell, Harry.
28th Nov '16 6:39:06 PM sum12watch
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'''Kevin (as Officer):''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Nigeria, I know]].\\

to:

'''Kevin (as Officer):''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Nigeria, Algeria, I know]].\\
27th Nov '16 8:29:22 PM TheNewEnglandGamer
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-->'''Harry''': Not to mention the pincers. *waggles his fingers in front of his face* Tch tch tch tch!

to:

-->'''Harry''': Not to mention the pincers. *waggles his fingers in front of his face* Tch tch tch tch!tch!\\
27th Nov '16 8:28:16 PM TheNewEnglandGamer
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to:

* At Aragog's funeral:
-->'''Harry''': Not to mention the pincers. *waggles his fingers in front of his face* Tch tch tch tch!
'''Kevin''': *as Hagrid, who's making the most appropriate face* Go to hell, Harry.
24th Nov '16 4:51:00 PM BobTanaka
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* During the concluding flashbacks to the first ''Star Wars,'' Obi Wan Kenobi shows up:
-->'''Kevin:''' "Sitting at home, feeling smug, Sir Alec Guinness spit-takes his martini."

to:

* During As the concluding flashbacks to Cantina band leaves for the first ''Star Wars,'' Obi Wan Kenobi shows up:
-->'''Kevin:''' "Sitting at home, feeling smug, Sir Alec Guinness spit-takes his martini."
night:
-->'''Ackmena:''' "You're such a dear friend..."
-->'''Mike:''' "You have never made eye contact with me, actually."
23rd Nov '16 1:53:59 PM TheNohrianDarkKnight
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[[folder: ''Jurassic Park'' films]]
[[AC:Jurassic Park]]
* When the Brachiosaur is first seen:
-->'''Weird Al:''' "The utter majesty... Imagine how much dogfood you could make with just one!"
* As the Jeep drives to the Visitor Center:
-->'''Weird Al:''' Is that a dinosaur?\\
'''Mike:''' No.\\
'''Weird Al:''' Is ''that'' a dinosaur?\\
'''Mike:''' No!\\
'''Weird Al:''' Is ''that'' a dinosaur?\\
'''Mike:''' ''[[BigNo NO!]]''\\
'''Weird Al:''' This park sucks...
* "Time to run amok! [[Franchise/{{Godzilla}} Where are the Japanese?!]]
* "I'm a sadistic bastard!"
* "Aah! A human!"
* Our heroes are blocked by a fence that may or may not be electrified:
-->'''Weird Al:''' Timmy, you have a high tolerance for pain...
** When Grant throws a stick at the fence:
-->'''Mike (as Grant):''' Uh... take that stupid fence!
* The RunningGag of Weird Al not being able to tell whether the kid that didn't think that a raptor looked scary was a [[ViewerGenderConfusion boy or a girl]].
** "You snot nosed little... boy or girl."
** "You stare at him [a raptor], and he stares right back."
--->'''Weird Al:''' Trying to figure out if you're a boy or a girl...
** "His 'boy or girl detector'!"
** Uh, parents, your son or daughter is being traumatized...
** Protect the bones! The fat kid can fend for his or her self!
** Is that kid out there a boy or a girl? We all have questions.
** *sighs in frustration* "BOY OR GIRL!?"
** When Hammond's grandchildren show up:
---> '''Weird Al (as Sattler):''' ''(sighs)'' At least you can tell what gender they are, honey.
* After Dr. Grant and the kids first escape from the T-Rex.
-->'''Lex:''' He left us...! HE LEFT US!!\\
'''Grant:''' But that's not... what ''I'm'' gonna do.\\
'''Mike:''' I have darker plans for you!
* [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes "Shhhhhh, be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting waptors"]]
* *thunder crashes* "'''PLAY''' '''''[[{{God}} ME]]''''' '''WILL YOU?!'''"
* "Phones are out, too..."
-->'''Weird Al (sadly)''': We're terrible dinosaur park makers...
* When we first meet Hammond:
-->'''John Hammond:''' I can tell instantly about people - it's a gift.\\
'''Mike (as Hammond):''' [[RacistGrandpa I go mainly by skin colour!]]
* Nedry giggles happily as Dodgson gives him a bag full of money:
-->'''Weird Al:''' Poor sap thinks the bag is full of bacon.
* Two park workers are shown, both wearing pink shirts:
-->'''Weird Al (as Park worker one):''' So, as I was saying, Bob, I BOUGHT my pink shirt first!\\
'''Mike (as Park worker two):''' Yeah, yeah, but I WORE mine first, Travis!\\
'''Weird Al (as Park worker one):''' OOH, if this fence wasn't here--!
* The scene that takes place right after the Brachiosaurus sneezes over Lex.
-->'''Timmy:''' God bless you!\\
'''Weird Al (as Brachiosaurus)''': I wish, every time we get up and running, God strikes us down with a meteor!
* On the safari tour cars...
-->'''Mike''': Did the Ninja Turtles paint those things? They're hideous!
* Before the Brachiosaur's introduction, when Hammond tells the Jeep driver to stop...
-->'''Hammond:''' Slow down, slow down. Stop stop stop stop stop stop!\\
'''Weird Al (as Hammond):''' Let's moon the other car!
* The kids pile into the safari cars.
-->'''Weird Al:''' Okay, kids, wave goodbye to your childlike innocence. ''(as the kids)'' GOODBYE, CHILDLIKE INNOCENCE, GOODBYE! GOODBYE! G'BYE, G'BYE, G'BYE!!
* When Gennaro gets eaten by a T-Rex on the can.
-->''Weird Al:''' Now if he [The T-Rex] eats a rabbi, priest, or minister, heh, he'll have all his comedic bases covered.
* When the T-Rex wrecks the bathroom that Gennaro is hiding in.
-->'''Weird Al:''' Ah see, this is why (((Spielberg))) is genius: he was first... to blend a lawyer joke with a toilet joke.\\
'''Mike:''' So the giant dinosaur park was gonna be a one-holer? That's just more bad planning.
* (mockingly) "He gets to use his accent, and you have to suppress [[SamNeil yours]]! Nya nya nya nya nya nya!"
* (Nedry has crashed into a sign) "Okay, let's see... the sun, which he never sees, rises in the east..."
* This exchange at the mine scene:
-->'''Gennaro:''' The insurance company- ''(he stumbles and falls down)''\\
'''Mike:''' ''(slurring speech)'' Oops, sorry. I had like, nine beers on the raft.
* Grant and the kids enter the visitor center near the end:
-->'''Grant:''' Hello?\\
'''Mike (as Grant):''' I think we broke your dinosaur park!
* "You'll find yourself wanting to be quieter in the world's first and only completely silent helicopter."
* During the opening scene:
-->'''Mike (as random gum-chewing park worker):''' I shouldn't have majored in sociology.

[[AC:Jurassic World]]
* On Owen's (played by Creator/ChrisPratt) introduction...
-->'''Mike:''' Ladies and gentlemen, 21st Century Creator/BrendanFraser.
* When Claire (played by Creator/BryceDallasHoward) does stuff to her dress so that she's ready to go into the jungle to look for Gray and Zach (her nephews)...
-->'''Kevin (as Claire)''': Okay, check out my audition piece for America's Angriest Stripper!
* When Owen and Claire check on a dinosaur who is dying from being killed by the I-Rex...
-->'''Mike:''' (groaning drunkenly) Oh, man... How many Zimas did I chug down last night?
* When Owen is taming the raptors...
-->'''Owen:''' Good...
-->'''Kevin (as Owen):''' Now hold for the trailer. Good...

[[AC: Note: Jurassic Park III's riff can be found on the [=RiffTrax=] Presents page.]]

[[/folder]]



* When the troll stabs Frodo (he survives, though, thanks to his mithril vest.):

to:

* ** When the troll stabs Frodo (he survives, though, thanks to his mithril vest.):



* And after above, during the shot of the cave troll:
-->'''Kevin (as the cave troll):''' Oh come on! Cowboy up! You're (Frodo) fine.
* "So, you think this is [[IncrediblyLamePun 'Troll the ancient yuletide carol'?]]

to:

* ** And after above, during the shot of the cave troll:
-->'''Kevin (as the cave troll):''' troll, to Frodo):''' Oh come on! Cowboy up! You're (Frodo) fine.
* ** "So, you think this is [[IncrediblyLamePun 'Troll the ancient yuletide carol'?]]
23rd Nov '16 8:32:11 AM GunarmDyne
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* The ultimate CallBack as Vader is about to kill one of the trade union heads.

to:

* The ultimate CallBack as Vader is about to kill one of the trade union heads.Nute Gunray.


Added DiffLines:

* A very obscure but hilarious reference found when Anakin and Obi-Wan are leaping over huge distances between small boulders in the lava flow:
-->'''Kevin:''' ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfKage Legend of Kage]]'' jump!
20th Nov '16 4:18:27 PM BobTanaka
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Added DiffLines:

* During the concluding flashbacks to the first ''Star Wars,'' Obi Wan Kenobi shows up:
-->'''Kevin:''' "Sitting at home, feeling smug, Sir Alec Guinness spit-takes his martini."
13th Nov '16 6:19:18 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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-->'''Mike:''' "Yes, the ''dog'' will attract too much attention, you staff-totting, one-eyed freak."

to:

-->'''Mike:''' "Yes, Yes, the ''dog'' will attract too much attention, you staff-totting, one-eyed freak."
freak.



-->'''Hermoine''': "If I were you, when he's around, I'd keep the snogging to a minimum."\\
'''Mike''': "And stop wearing that shirt that says 'Doing Ron's sister.'"

to:

-->'''Hermoine''': "If -->'''Hermoine:''' If I were you, when he's around, I'd keep the snogging to a minimum."\\
'''Mike''': "And
\\
'''Mike:''' And
stop wearing that shirt that says 'Doing Ron's sister.'"'



-->'''Dumbledore''': Harry, do as I say.\\
'''Mike''': The Literature/HarryPotter series summed up in five words.

to:

-->'''Dumbledore''': -->'''Dumbledore:''' Harry, do as I say.\\
'''Mike''': '''Mike:''' The Literature/HarryPotter ''Literature/HarryPotter'' series summed up in five words.



-->'''Harry''': Are those--\\

to:

-->'''Harry''': -->'''Harry:''' Are those--\\
12th Nov '16 1:11:08 PM nombretomado
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* "Zombie JohnnyCash!"

to:

* "Zombie JohnnyCash!"Music/JohnnyCash!"
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