History Funny / RedDeadRedemption2

* Beecher's Hope was not the best investment; Abigail tells John about it without having seen it and he spends months working to be able to buy it, all for the land is scandalously infertile, and the only building around is a dilapidated, tiny shack and the accompanying outhouse. Uncle absolutely ''tears'' into John's poor choice of real estate at every turn.

* John apparently wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed prior to the events of the game, so when he suddenly comes up with a plan that impresses Arthur, Arthur quickly chalks it up to John's recent injuries.

** And not too long after, when John said he wasn't that dumb:

'''Uncle:''' What were you ''thinkin'''?\\

* When Marston first buys the Beecher's Hope ranch in its initial pitiful state, Uncle absolutely ''tears'' into his poor choice of real estate, and essentially roasts him into ''building a house''.
-->'''Uncle:''' Ah, feels like old times, heheh! It's good to have the old gang back together again!\\

'''Uncle:''' Oh, don't get all angry. It ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless. And I mean that literally. You got no hope. I mean, look at you! Look at this place! [''gestures at dilapidated shack''] Your "dream home". I've had better nightmares than this dream. "Oh, darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in this outhouse ''I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in''!"\\

** Charles wordlessly gets up at that line before Uncle even tells him to tie the shack to horses and have them pull it down.

'''Uncle:''' It needs ''levelin'''. No woman would touch ''this'' place.\\

* Uncle gives this absolute gem of a roast when Marston first bought the Beecher's Hope ranch in its initial pitiful state.
-->'''Uncle''': Oh darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in this outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!

* In "Pouring Forth Oil II", it's entirely possible to steal an oil wagon directly ''from the heavily guarded refinery'' without a single shot being fired, as when a nearby guard yells at Arthur for climbing onto one and trespassing, the game [[ArtificialStupidity reads the conversation]] as a generic argument which can be resolved through defusing. This means that all a completely unknown man who's trespassed onto the premises of an important oil refinery in a gang-infested region, likely while heavily armed, needs to do to steal a wagon of oil in broad daylight is to just yell at a guard to calm down.

** Arthur and Lenny wandering around a pigpen laughing hysterically.

'''Bill:''' Who cut your hair? A blind person?

--->'''Arthur''': Lenny!!!!...oh not again...

** When Arthur sees everyone as Lenny, he can accidentally open the door on a couple while they are having sex, and Arthur will run away screaming. Better still, Arthur's reaction if he opens that door, just before everyone looks like Lenny. The couple will scream at him, still, only for Arthur to close the door, and chuckle as he walks away.
** If you open the door ''after'' everyone turns into Lenny, the couple will [[ScrewYourself both be Lenny too]]. This is actually necessary to complete the mission with the highest rating, as one of the optional objectives is to "catch Lenny in the act."

'''Arthur''': Nobody... I'm talking to nobody...\\

'''Eagles Flies:''' “[[SarcasmMode Sure]]. I enjoy being tortured. Clears the mind.”

'''Dutch:''' I hope so!.

* EVERYTHING about Charles Chatenay. From his lewd paintings that results in patrons fist-fighting each other (Arthur/John laughing his ass off all the while), to cross-dressing as a {{geisha}} and casually mentioning he shat on someone’s bar because he needed to go to the restroom to flat out-Frenching Arthur/John as a sort of distraction. Although the last part with Arthur becomes HarsherInHindsight when you realize that Charles possibly could have contracted TB from doing this.

--->'''Châtenay:''' To be naked is to be free, innocent, alive! Like Buddha said, you know... we are all just here to ''fuck!''\\