History Funny / RebelTaxi

--> '''Pan''': Maybe it was sincere, but failed so bad they went back to claim it was all for jokes. That's what happens when you spend so much time trying to be ironic and cynical, but the moment you show some genuine emotion it, backfires only to embarrass you. So you just try to hide it and act bad on purpose, because it's so funny. It means not having to try. It's safe. You're negative and like to pretend you're smarter than the quote-unquote sheeple around you, because you don't get excited over simple pleasures like movies or music. If I wanted to, Allen, I could kill you where you stand. But I don’t want to kill you, because that is morally wrong…[[BrickJoke unless you were to break into my house within the state of Texas]]. That's why I rather you live and go about your day only for you to remember those embarrassing moments, causing you to blurt out some funny noise all so you can tune out that regret played on loop in your head, which is never going away. I know you. I know you're gonna crank up the cynical to ensure that doesn't happen again. That's what makes you repost those articles stating "Smarter People Are More Depressed", because being depressed is only accomplished you've made since getting a gold star in your preschool finger-painting class. I'll be there to watch you shut yourself off from the rest of the world, since you can't accept people having different preferences or standards than you. That's the life you're gonna live, Allen. I could kill you, but I'd rather you live and suffer.

--> '''Stanley''': Digging holes is nothing but a stupid and pointless exercise. Kind of like when it's the last day of school and makes you write an essay about Canada. And at the end of the day, the teacher just takes all the essays and throws 'em in the garbage… because no one ''really'' gives a shit about Canada. \\

--> '''Pan''': [[https://www.flickr.com/photos/122595165n05/14238240911 Ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiit…]]

* Pan's reaction to "the best damn monologue cinema never got":

--> '''Stanley''': Digging holes is nothing but a stupid and pointless exercise. Kind of like when it's the last day of school and makes you write an essay about Canada. And at the end of the day, the teacher just takes all the essays and throws 'em in the garbage… because no one ''really'' gives a shit about Canada. \\[[Music/Macklemore "Damn, that’s a cold-ass honkey."]] \\
--> '''Pan''': Ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiit…

--> '''Stanley''': Digging holes is nothing but a stupid and pointless exercise. Kind of like when it's the last day of school and makes you write an essay about Canada. And at the end of the day, the teacher just takes all the essays and throws 'em in the garbage… because no one ''really'' gives a shit about Canada. \\
--> [[Music/Macklemore "Damn, that’s a cold-ass honkey."]] \\

* The sheer absurdity of the Creator/RichardKelly [[Literature/Holes]] script is amplified by the various clips and images Pan uses throughout his summary.

[[The Lost R Rated Holes Movie!?!?]]
* The sheer absurdity of the Creator/RichardKelly Literature/Holes script is amplified by the various clips and images Pan uses throughout his summary.

* The sheer absurdity of the Creator/RichardKelly Film/Holes script is amplified by the various clips and images Pan uses throughout his summary.

* Pan going to a sinister tirade says the show comes off as jarring for having Allen Gregory try be sympathetic or give a message.

'''Pan''': [[NonSequiter You ever just fantasize about someone breaking into your house just so you can shoot them and be legally justified in the state of Texas in doing so?]] *beat* Anyway, Allen's comedy is every Stevie episode written for WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy.

* [[NonSequiter "You ever just fantasize about someone breaking into your house just so you can shoot them and be legally justified in the state of Texas in doing so?]] Anyway, Allen's comedy is every Stevie episode written for WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy".

* [[NonSequiter "You ever just fantasize about someone breaking into your house just so you can shoot them and be legally justified in the state of Texas in doing so?]] Anyway, Allen's comedy is every Stevie episode written for WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy.

* Pan going to a sinister tirade says the show comes off as jarring for having Allen Gregory try be sympathetic or give a message and thinking it was sincere, but failed so bad they went back to claim it was all for jokes.

* "And wait, how come the Egg of Destiny kept Carlos as a bunny but doesn't turn Fred the human into a bunny? I don't know, this movie is just a bunch of ideas! None of them are fleshed out like it's a first draft! Maybe they rushed it out for Easter and to [[DuelingShows beat]] Film/TheSmurfs to the box office, a very similar film as I pointed out!"

* When a man on ''The Ultimate Gamer'' Cries tears of joy after being on the madden episode, Pan had this to say:

** Later after Nick tells Jimmy, Carl and Sheen that anyone who matters is going to Retroland, he skates down the alley way and Pan edits in a floating video tape which when Nick picks it up, #[=AnybodyWhoMatters=] is splayed across the screen.

** "Oh God, those guys in the white hoodies were right...I can't believe this Mexican pollito took their '''''JOBS'''''!"
---> '''EB's dad:''' [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!]]

* The fact that the podcast was recorded right before one of the biggest news days in nerd culture. To wit, mere hours after recording was finished, Creator/StanLee died and the trailers for WesternAnimation/ToyStory4 and Film/DetectivePikachu dropped.

** Pan's comment on Music/DaftPunk's cameo in ''Anime/Interstella5555'', and theorizes they went into the cartoon world, saw the Crescendolls, and ripped off their music "just like that tool Music/ChuckBerry ripped off [[Film/BackToTheFuture Marty McFly]]!" Also, he pronounces the subtitle as "The Five-story of the Five-ecret Five-star Five-tystem".

-->'''(Ken in a stereotypical nerdy loser voice)''' I gotta stop Sonic from stealing my Master Emeralds!(snort)

-->'''(Nolan)''' He has a pet fucking dinosaur.Fuck this show.

* The crew's joke about Rebecca Sugar [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs snorting coke]] when coming up with the ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' / ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'' crossover.

'''Shrek:''' (Chasing after the cow.) [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Come back here! I'm not finished with you!]] (Falls to his death) '''''[[BigWordShout DAMN!!!!!]]'''''

* The return of Gables.

* Scooby-Doo IS: The Dog With A Blog (Stan).

* When mentioning Spongebob, he defends it, saying that while it's been running for many years, it doesn't do what another [[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents long running show]] does.
-->'''Pan:''' And hey, at least Spongebob never added more main characters with each new season like: a baby named [[WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether Toot]], Sparky the dog, neighbor girl Chloe, [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, Photography Raptor, Mr. Beauregard, Summer, and Mr. Poopybutthole]], that guy was the best!