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* Tommy urging [[spoiler: Linda]] to fight through the pain of a bullet wound by [[spoiler: reminding her that, should she die, her son is going to be raised by the Shelbys]].
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-->'''Churchill''': I really must come to Birmingham to meet your family.

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-->'''Churchill''': I really must come to Birmingham to meet your family.family.

[[/folder]]
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[[/folder]][[/folder]]

[[folder:Season Five]]
* In episode four, Chinese gangster Brilliant Chang has a prostitute associate holding Finn Shelby at gunpoint while he negotiates with Arthur and Tommy. When Finn is released, he comes barging into the meeting threatening to shoot Chang. Arthur and Tommy razz him mercilessly while talking him down:
-->'''Tommy''': Ey, Finn, did you piss yourself?
-->'''Finn''': What? No, but I'm going to-
-->'''Arthur''': Look at him! Girl had him by the balls and he didn't piss himself.
* Episode six marks the return of [[HistoricalDomainCharacter Winston Churchill]], meeting with Tommy in regards to the threat posed by Oswald Mosely. He brings up some old history between himself and the Shelbys.
-->'''Churchill''': Was it you who killed that Ulster Policeman? I don't recall his name.
-->'''Tommy''': Major Campbell. No. [[IronLady It was me aunt.]]
-->'''Churchill''': I really must come to Birmingham to meet your family.
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* Arthur and John gleefully trying to embarrass Tommy when May is talking to him, yelling at him that they have to hurry up and get Michael home or Polly will have their balls. May only smiles.
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*** Also, this exchange:
--->'''Tommy:''' We're not here to make enemies! No...we came here to make friends.
''Behind him, Arthur kicks a guy and John snogs a random girl''


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* The look Tommy gives May when she asks for a mixer with her gin, as if he's never heard of such a thing.


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* John's tantrum when Tommy orders a hit on the Changrettas. It's otherwise a serious scene, but Joe Cole's reading is hilarious:
--->'''John:''' DO this John, DO that John, ''KILL YOUR FOOKIN' TEACHER, JOHN!''
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* Upon being approached by the Italians for a deal to betray Tommy, Alfie Solomons names his price, itemized, continuously adding on increasingly petty charges, such as for turning on "a very dear friend", for Arthur being an animal who will come after Solomons, to eventually an extra thousand "because you are...a fuckin' wop". Then he adds one last thousand "just for being a cunt" after Luca makes a crack about American Jews.
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-->'''Arthur''': WHAT FUCK IS THAT RACKET?!

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-->'''Arthur''': WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RACKET?!
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-->'''Arthur''': WHAT FUCK IS THAT RACKET?!

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*The whole speech he's prepared in the kitchen.
-->'''Tommy''':Despite the bad blood, I'll have none of it on my carpet.



-->'''Tommy''': Now, you fuckers, despite the provocation from the cavalry, no fighting. (points to Isiah) No cocaine. (points to John) No cocaine. No sports. (to Johnny Dogs) No telling fortunes. (to Charlie) No racing. (to Finn, slapping his cheek) No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. (points to Isaiah) No fighting. (points to John) No fucking fighting. (points to Arthur) None of it. (points to Michael) None, okay? NO FUCKING FIGHTING."

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-->'''Tommy''': Now, you fuckers, despite the provocation from the cavalry, no fighting. (points to Isiah) Isaiah) No cocaine. (points to John) No cocaine. No sports. (to Johnny Dogs) No telling fortunes. (to Charlie) No racing. (to Finn, slapping his cheek) No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. (points to Isaiah) No fighting. (points to John) No fucking fighting. (points to Arthur) None of it. No fighting.(points to at Michael) None, okay? NO FUCKING FIGHTING.""
** He doesn't say anything to Michael except shake his finger at him.


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**Arthur 'helps' by throwing the carrot he was eating at the poor man.
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* Polly's reaction to Tommy "having an idea," is simply a deadpan, "Oh, fuck."
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* Johnny getting incredibly defensive of his belated Christmas dinner and angry at Charlie for not having food up to his standards.

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* Season 4 is incredibly bleak, but 4.03 gives us Linda Shelby's rationalization of working in the betting shop and Polly continuing to give absolutely zero fucks.

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* Season 4 is incredibly bleak, but 4.03 01 gives us Johnny Dogs' glee at being allowed to keep Tommy's new prize horse in exchange for [[spoiler: burying the body of the Italian assassin]].
*
Linda Shelby's rationalization of working in the betting shop and Polly continuing to give absolutely zero fucks.
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-->'''Linda''': Not when I'm not the one gambling.

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-->'''Linda''': Not when It's not me who's doing the gambling. I'm not just taking the one gambling.
bets.
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[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season Four]]
* Season 4 is incredibly bleak, but 4.03 gives us Linda Shelby's rationalization of working in the betting shop and Polly continuing to give absolutely zero fucks.
-->'''Polly''': This is a betting shop, Linda.
-->'''Linda''': Look, Arthur said yes. Tommy said yes.
-->'''Polly''': But did God say yes? Gambling is a sin.
-->'''Linda''': Not when I'm not the one gambling.
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* John and two of the Russians drunkenly doing ThatRussianSquatDance.
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-->'''Alfie''': ARTHUR, SHALOM! Listen, mate, I want you to know that whatever it was between us that time, it was business, yeah? Just business. And I have made my apologies via my own God for abusing a very holy day to get you clinked up and battered, which I did.

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-->'''Alfie''': ARTHUR, SHALOM! Listen, mate, I want you to know that whatever it was between us that time, it was business, yeah? Just business. And I have made my apologies via my own personal God for abusing a very holy day to get you clinked up and battered, which battered. And I did.would like to extend my personal apologies to you.
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* Polly's confession in 3.04 is a TearJerker, but her annoyed retort to the priest is pretty funny:
-->'''Priest''': The voice is talking to you?
-->'''Polly''': It's in ''my'' head. Who else would it be talking to?
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'''Campbell''': I recommend the ''[[BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]''. [[TakeThat It will broaden your mind.]]

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'''Campbell''': I recommend the ''[[BritishNewspapers ''[[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]''. [[TakeThat It will broaden your mind.]]
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* John and Arthur barging into the Shelby house the morning after the Garrison reopening, pretending to have a mock gun-battle and not realizing that the kid sitting at the table with Polly is [[spoiler: her son]] Michael. Then, when Tommy introduces them, Arthur and John both reminisce about all the crappy things they used to do to Michael as kids.

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* John and Arthur barging into the Shelby house the morning after the Garrison reopening, pretending to have a mock gun-battle and not realizing that the kid sitting at the table with Polly is [[spoiler: her son]] son Michael. Then, when Tommy introduces them, Arthur and John both reminisce about all the crappy things they used to do to Michael as kids.
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* The scene where Izabella and Tatiana require John and Arthur to [[spoiler: strip naked so they can check for Russian gang tattoos]] is hilarious from start to finish, with Tommy snickering and John straight-out mocking Arthur's newfound modesty.
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* Alfie greeting Arthur for the first time after he [[spoiler: ambushed Arthur and sold him out to Campbell at a Passover seder]]:
-->'''Alfie''': ARTHUR, SHALOM! Listen, mate, I want you to know that whatever it was between us that time, it was business, yeah? Just business. And I have made my apologies via my own God for abusing a very holy day to get you clinked up and battered, which I did.
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* Polly, on Linda's power over Arthur:
-->'''Polly''': She’s stolen his soul and taken it to a better place – the suburbs.
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* Linda Shelby lording it over the rest of the Shelby women how much more respectable and pious she is, and Polly, Esme, and Lizzie being completely ''done'' with her snide tone.
-->'''Linda''': Arthur says what you do here is illegal, but it isn't immoral.
-->'''Esme''': Depends on what time you get here, Linda.
-->'''Linda''': And anyway, I thought I'd offer you my physical and spiritual support in your time of need.
-->'''Polly''': Oh, Linda, if you want to be a help, run on up to the shops and get me 20 Senior Service [cigarettes]. Lizzie'll give you the change. (the women laugh)
-->'''Lizzie''': No, I bloody won't.
-->'''Linda''': I'll use my own money, Polly. And before you ladies decide to find me so amusing, I have a message for you.
-->'''Polly''': Oh god, no. I've been to church already and not with you.
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-->'''Polly''': I insist on paying your full commission.

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-->'''Polly''': Your normal rate. I insist on paying your full commission.insist.
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* Polly trying in ''utter'' vain to keep the Shelby siblings from swearing in front of Karl, as well as waving a knife at John and Arthur when they keep sassing her. The capper is 3 year old Karl imitating his uncle Arthur:
-->'''Karl''': Fucking pheasants!
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* Arthur, John and Charlie hooting over the fact that Polly made Michael sandwiches and Tommy annoyed at all of them.
-->'''John''': Wait, ''Polly'' made fucking sandwiches?
-->'''Michael''': There's tea, too, but we'll have to share because there's only one cup.
-->'''Charlie''': What is this, the teddy bears' fucking picnic?
-->'''Tommy''': Right. We will eat the sandwiches and drink the tea and be on our way, so shut the fuck up.
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-->'''John''': What do you call a horse with a prick halfway up its back? A cavalry officer!

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-->'''John''': What do you call a horse an animal with a prick halfway up its back? A cavalry officer!horse!

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* Ada giggling into her magazine at Reuben and Polly flirting, and shamelessly egging them on.

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* Ada giggling into her magazine at Reuben and Polly flirting, and shamelessly snickering at them and egging them on.on.
-->'''Polly''': I insist on paying your full commission.
-->'''Ada''': Oh, there's a first.

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-->'''Tommy''': Now, you fuckers, despite the provocation from the cavalry, no fighting. (points to Isiah) No cocaine. (points to John) No cocaine. No sports. (to Johnny Dogs) No telling fortunes. (to Charlie) No racing. (to Finn, slapping his cheek) No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. (points to Isaiah) No fighting. (points to John) No fighting. (points to Arthur) None of it. (points to Michael) None, okay? NO FUCKING FIGHTING."

to:

-->'''Tommy''': Now, you fuckers, despite the provocation from the cavalry, no fighting. (points to Isiah) No cocaine. (points to John) No cocaine. No sports. (to Johnny Dogs) No telling fortunes. (to Charlie) No racing. (to Finn, slapping his cheek) No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. (points to Isaiah) No fighting. (points to John) No fucking fighting. (points to Arthur) None of it. (points to Michael) None, okay? NO FUCKING FIGHTING."


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* Polly very pointedly and deliberately slurping her tea at John, after he didn't listen to her advice.
* Tommy and Ada in the library, with Tommy doing his absolute best to annoy Ada and the other patrons, asking to rip a page out of a book and bellowing across the room to her. They haven't been so sibling-like in a long time.
* Ada giggling into her magazine at Reuben and Polly flirting, and shamelessly egging them on.

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