History Funny / PeakyBlinders

-->'''Tommy''': Now, you fuckers, despite the provocation from the cavalry, no fighting. (points to Isaiah) No fighting. (points to John) No fighting. (points to Arthur) None of it. (points to Michael) None, okay? NO FUCKING FIGHTING."
** And ''immediately'' follows up by walking into one of the waiters and decking him.

* When Alfie's second in command starts freaking out about the possibility of a bomb Alfie slaps him and tells him to sit in the corner

-->'''Freddie''': You think I can't handle Tommy Shelby?
-->'''Polly''': I know you can't. I'm having trouble these days, and I'm twice the man you are.

-->'''John''': I want you to see how brave she is!
-->'''Polly''': Brave is going where no man's gone before… and with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing!

* Tommy and Campbell talking about a potential team-up. The dialogue is great (and surprisingly full of HoYay), but the capper is Campbell's amused smirk at Tommy's response.

* Freddie and Polly's exchange in 1x03:

* As Ada shows off her new baby, Arthur steals him and puts his razorblade cap on the baby's head.

* Tommy gets Polly back later in the episode, also while speaking to Freddie: (on the subject of Polly attempting to pay off Freddie to leave Birmingham) "Polly must have had a rush of blood -- or port wine."

-->'''Polly''': Brave is going where no man's gone before… and with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing.

* Tommy informing John he's [[ArrangedMarriage getting married]]… standing in front of the gun-wielding Lee family and telling John to "smile, it's a wedding".

-->'''Campbell''': If I win a medal, I will have your initials engraved on its back side.
-->'''Tommy''': My initials on your backside? Quite an image.

-->'''Tommy''': You should've used a gun.
-->'''Arthur''': Are you laughing at me?
-->'''Tommy''': (completely unsympathetically) Yeah. Just when things are starting to go right, Arthur, you've gotta go and do this? Look, you’re one of three shareholders. Me, you and John, and according to the law, we are equal partners and it’s written on the paperwork in black and white. A third, a third, a third. But the thing is, well, me and John, we quite fancy splitting your share so, just next time, use a gun, man.

-->'''Tommy''': John, I've told you to keep the doors locked. Could've been anyone. Get dressed, we're doing it today.
-->'''Esme''': Bugger that, he's doing me today.
-->'''Tommy''': Yeah, well, make sure he's done you by nine.

-->'''Arthur''': Look, he looks just like me!
-->'''John'''': That's his arse looks like you, Arthur.

-->'''Tommy''': I know you've vowed never to pick up a rifle again, Jeremiah, but can you ask God from me if you can help us today?
-->'''Jeremiah''': God says he don't deal with Small Heath, sir!
* Ada walking into no man's land between the Peaky Blinders and Kimber's men - pushing her baby carriage and ordering her husband to shut up.

-->'''Churchill''': I would guess you haven't been exposed to Bohemian society, Major?
-->'''Campbell''': Well, I… I play cards, on occasion.
-->'''Churchill''': You're a stranger to cocaine and exotic dancing too, I imagine.
-->'''Campbell''': I find the more obvious vices easiest to resist.
-->'''Churchill''': It's the sneaky little obscure ones that bring you to your knees, yes?

-->'''Man''': Please allow me to put a bullet in the scum tinker's head.
-->'''Irene''': No. He researches his enemies, that's why he's been chosen.
-->'''Tommy''': I'm chosen? (looking up at the man with the gun to his head) I'm ''chosen''. Can the chosen one smoke?

-->'''Arthur''': I'm Arthur, you already met me. I used to throw you out the window so John could catch you.
-->'''John''': Yeah, and I used to put you in a shoebox and kick you down Watery Lane.
-->'''Tommy''': …bet you're glad to be back.

-->'''Campbell''': Do you read the papers?
-->'''Moss''': The Birmingham papers, sir.
-->'''Campbell''': I recommend the ''[[BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]''. [[TakeThat It will broaden your mind.]]

-->'''Arthur''': First a drink, then we'll get you a lady of the night-
-->'''Polly''': ARTHUR!

--->(car horn honking obnoxiously)
--->'''Polly''': (to Michael) I have told them not to not to blow that horn… (yelling out the door) OI, THIS IS A RESPECTABLE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD!

-->'''Arthur''': I've got this one, she's a dancer, right? She can do things with her… (looks at Finn) Well, if Finn would just piss off, I could explain a little better.
-->'''John''': Oi, Finn, go stick your head in a bucket.

* Tommy gets Polly back later in the episode, also while speaking to Freddie: (on the subject of Polly attempting to pay off Freddie to leave Birmingham) "Polly must have had a rush of blood - or port wine."

-->'''Polly''': Brave is going where no man's gone before . . . and with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing.

* Tommy informing John he's [[ArrangedMarriage getting married]] . . . standing in front of the gun-wielding Lee family and telling John to "smile, it's a wedding".

* Major Campbell visits Winston Churchill in his office in 2.01... only to find the great man calmly (and innocently) sketching a nude life model during his lunch break. Churchill appears to enjoy Campbell's obvious discomfort:

-->'''Campbell''': Well, I... I play cards, on occasion.

-->'''Tommy''': ... bet you're glad to be back.

-->'''Polly''': Oh my god, so in the absence of common sense, you boys have had an idea . . . wait, the Derby?! Did he say the Derby? Did you come up with this idea in a pub, by any chance?

--->'''Polly''': (to Michael) I have told them not to not to blow that horn . . . (yelling out the door) OI, THIS IS A RESPECTABLE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD!

-->'''Arthur''': I've got this one, she's a dancer, right? She can do things with her... (looks at Finn) Well, if Finn would just piss off, I could explain a little better.

** And when Michael and Isaiah tell them about the fight at the Marquis, all three of the brothers stand up at once, but John and Arthur push Finn right back down.

* Alfie and Sabini's childish bickering and point scoring on what should be written down. The fact that they're both feared mob bosses makes it even better.

--->'''Arthur''': (honks car horn obnoxiously)
--->'''Polly''': (to Michael) I have told them not to not to blow that horn . . . (yelling out the door) OI, THIS IS A RESPECTABLE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOD!

* Alfie and Sabini's childish bickering and point scoring on what should be written down. The fact that they're both feared mob bosses makes it even better

-->'''Campbell''': I recommend the ''[[BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]''. It will broaden your mind.

** After the beatdown in the club, Tommy is razzing John about wanting to move to the country with Esme and raise chickens. Arthur's editorial commentary is a bellowed "FUCK THE CHICKENS!"

* The Shelby brothers' reaction to the jazz music in the Eden Club. Arthur in particular is ''not'' impressed.

-->'''Churchill''': It's the sneaky little obscure ones that bring you to your knees, yes?

* Ada walking into no man's land between the Peaky Blinders and Kimber's men - pushing her baby carriage and ordering her husband to shut up.

* Polly losing her temper with Tommy in the church in 1.01, smacking him repeatedly with her handbag and yelling at him.

-->'''Jeremiah''': God says he don't deal with Small Heath, sir!

-->'''Polly''': Lizzie Stark's never done a day's work vertical!

-->'''Tommy''': (completely unsympathetically) Yeah. Just when things are starting to go right, Arthur, you've gotta go and do this? Look, you’re one of three shareholders. Me, you and John, and according to the law, we are equal partners and it’s written on the paperwork in black and white. A third, a third, a third. But the thing is, well, me and John, we quite fancy splitting your share so, just next time, use a gun, man.

* Tommy informing John he's [[ArrangedMarriage getting married]] . . . standing in front of the gun-wielding Lee family and telling John to "smile, it's a wedding".

-->'''Polly''': Brave is going where no man's gone before . . . and with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing.//

* [[spoiler: Ada]] being five weeks late in her period. Seven, if you count weekends.'

* [[spoiler: Ada]] being five weeks late in her period. Seven, if you count weekends.