History Funny / NothingButTrouble

-->''Diane'': This is a classic case of a dysfunctional family! You should really consider some help, some THERAPY!
-->''Bobo'' (pointing to Lil’ Debbul): He won’t go!

-->'''Chris''': [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Must be the nursery...]]

-->'''Chris''': Hey! Please God help! Please--

-->'''Chris''': Thank you Lord!

-->'''Judge Alvin Valkenheiser''': Guarantee you're gonna enjoy this ride! Heh! I'm of the school if it ain't the last thirty seconds of a person's life ought to have a little zip in 'em!

-->''(Pulls "Bondstripper Start")''
-->'''Chris''': Come on, what the hell is this now? (suddenly has an OhCrap) Oh no! Oh no! Oh please God!

-->''(Chris is dumped onto the conveyor belt in a somersault. He tries desperately to outrun the conveyor belt)''

-->''(Chris tries to crawl away)''

-->''(Chris covers his eyes just as he's drawn into now broken Mister Bonestripper, gets shot out the chute and crashes into the pile of bones with a cartoonish clang)''

-->''(Chris keeps rambling. Suddenly, one of the machine's drive axles breaks and falls out of its mountings, snapping several drive belts and causing the lethal spikes and chains to stop moving)

-->''(He suddenly realizes he's still alive and in one piece)

-->'''Judge Alvin Valkenheiser''': Guarantee you're gonna enjoy this ride! Heh! I'm of the school if it ain't the last thirty second of a person's life ought to have a little zip in 'em!

-->''(Chris tries to crawl away)

-->'''Judge Alvin Valkenheiser''': Okay, okay well let's see here. We do we got? We got your crack and ice cocaine here, and we got your pills, and your vials of coke, and snorters and pipes and grinders... and got your gun here... and got your switchblade knives. Well, since you're all having a whirl of a time on some kind of a hopped-up date, I believe we can get this all over relatively simply and have you people on your way, so step forward to the bench, please.

-->''(Cut to the courtroom. Judge Valkenheiser stamps a paper with a chuckle, then pulls a lever marked "Bonestripper Start")''
-->'''Stoner #1''': ''(As the roller coaster cars proceed up the short hill towards Mister Bonestripper)'' What's going on here, huh?!
-->'''Judge Valkenheiser''': ''(Over loudspeaker)'' I'll tell you what there, I'll give you all your coke and your grinders and spoons and pot and guns and knives and all that back to you when you come out the other end!

-->'''Stoner #2's Girlfriend''': My God! Will you look at his face? Is that nose rubber?

-->'''Stoner #2''': ''(Speaking through laughter)'' I'm gonna have to plead the fifth dimension.
-->'''Judge Alvin Valkenheiser''': OK, well let's see here. We got your crack and ice cocaine here, got your pills, your vials of coke, snorters, pipes and grinders... Got your gun here... Got your switchblade knives. Well, since you're all having a whirl of a time on some kind of hopped-up date, I believe we can get this all over relatively simply and have you people on your way, so step forward to the bench, please.

-->'''Priscilla''': Go for a smoke? Dennis, they got guns, drugs! One of them tried to kill you. I'm stayin' to watch.

-->'''Judge Valkenheiser''': Okay, I hereby find all parties culpable in these matters as charged, and therefore choose to inveigh the maximum levy for these violations, and therefore deem that you be conveyed to a wholly oh--''awful place of execution'' wherein you shall be put to death.

-->'''Judge Valkenheiser''': Okay, I hereby find all parties culpable in these matters as charged, and therefore choose to inveigh the maximum levy for these violations, and therefore deem that you be conveyed to a wholly aw--awful place of execution wherein you shall be put to death.

-->'''Judge Valkenheiser''': Okay, I hereby find all parties culpable in these matters as charged, and therefore choose to inveigh the maximum levy for these violations, and therefore deem that you be conveyed to a wholly awful place of execution wherein you shall be put to death.
-->''(Bangs gavel, then scoots toward his control panel and pulls one lever, then one marked "Floor Convey". The stoners and their girlfriends are pulled off their feet by a conveyor belt and hustled out a side door into the front car of a basic roller coaster. Cut to the basement - the sound of the machinery catches the attention of Fausto, Renalda, Chris, and Diane)''

-->'''Judge Valkenheiser''': ''(Over loudspeaker)'' I'll tell you what, I'll give you all your coke, your grinders, your spoons, your pot and guns and knives and all that back to you when you come out the other end!

* Humpty Hump from DigitalUnderground calling Perda an "ugly, cross-burning, redneck, peckerwood police bitch" behind her back.

* Humpty Hump from DigitalUnderground calling Perda an "ugly, redneck, peckerwood, cross-burning, police bitch" behind her back.

-->'''Stoner #1''': ''As the roller coaster cars proceed up the short hill towards Mister Bonestripper'' What's going on here, huh?!

* The second batch of perps Dennis hauls in are a bunch of drug-addled yuppies who fully expect to be able to buy their way out of trouble. '''''Not a chance in hell.'''''