History Funny / NonePiece

10th Apr '17 12:28:02 PM nombretomado
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-->'''Morgan:''' Son, I look like a Bond villain and there's some guy running around who sounds like SeanConnery. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

to:

-->'''Morgan:''' Son, I look like a Bond villain and there's some guy running around who sounds like SeanConnery.Creator/SeanConnery. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!
17th Mar '17 9:20:11 PM Colin266
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** This entire exchange:
-->'''Zeff:''' "I'm sorry about that sir, but look on the bright side. Now you got some shit on your hands. Hooray! Thanks for eating with us! Would you like a to-go box?"
-->'''Customer:''' "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING RESTAURANT?!"
-->'''Zeff:''' "Save some for later!"
5th Feb '17 6:23:57 PM LoneWolf03
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-->'''Zoro:''' "Holy shit, dude!"

to:

-->'''Zoro:''' "Holy "[[TooMuchInformation Holy shit, dude!"dude!]]"
** And later when the Straw Hat Pirates are dining at the Baratie.
-->'''Zoro:''' "Where the fuck are Johnny and Yusuke?"
-->'''Luffy:''' "We can't move him. Everytime we get near him, Johnny whips his nuts out."
-->'''Johnny:''' *back on the ship with Yusuke* "Dude, you gotta lick my taint!"
-->'''Yusuke:''' "Hey, Zoro! Please! Zoro!"
-->{{beat}}
-->'''Johnny:''' "WOOOOOO!"
-->'''Yusuke:''' "Zoro!"



** Bonus points goes to Usopp for ordering the fart salad.



* Luffy: "That's it! I can't take it anymore! Everyone but me has maimed someone today!" *''to Don Kringle''* "'''YOU!''' LET'S DO THIS THING!"

to:

* Luffy: The scene that follows after Zoro's "fight" against Jesus:
-->'''Luffy:'''
"That's it! I can't take it anymore! Everyone but me has maimed someone today!" *''to Don Kringle''* "'''YOU!''' today! '''YOU!'''"
-->'''Don Kringle:''' "What, me?"
-->'''Luffy:'''
LET'S DO THIS THING!"THING!"
-->'''Don Kringle:''' "Uh, oh."
7th Dec '16 5:10:34 AM meh2016
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--> '''Sanji:''' "That's easy, what you do is. You make a salad. But then, you push your butt together so it fits perfectly in the salad bowl. Then you release some methane into the bowl. Now this is the tricky part, you've gotta have some cellophane ready, because you've gotta pop off that bowl, whip around and wrap it up, all before the flavour gets out. Then you shake it up a little bit and then serve it as is!"
2nd Dec '16 1:15:21 PM LoneWolf03
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{{Beat}}\\

to:

{{Beat}}\\'''Zoro:''' *{{Beat}}*\\



-->'''Johnny:''' "I bet you play online poker in assless chaps! *Swings his sword at Luffy*

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' "I bet you play online poker in assless chaps! *Swings *''Swings his sword at Luffy*Luffy''*



-->'''Johnny:''' "ooh?"

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' "ooh?""Ooh?"



-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh, me? I'm on a trip to the cosmos. In my mind."

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh, me? I'm on a trip to the cosmos. In cosmos...in my mind."



-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh, him! ....He's still on the ship. we can go say hi to him if you want. HEY! Yusuke! We got guests! Show some fuckin' respect! *Yusuke is blue and injured on the deck* ...You lazy piece of shit."
-->'''Yusuke:''' "Zoro... is that you?"

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh, him! ....He's still on the ship. we We can go say hi to him if you want. HEY! Yusuke! We got guests! Show some fuckin' respect! *Yusuke *''Yusuke is blue and injured on the deck* ...deck''* ...You lazy piece of shit."
-->'''Yusuke:''' "Zoro... "Zoro, is that you?"



-->'''Johnny:''' *Stuffs his junk into Yusuke's mouth* "WOOOOOO!"

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' *Stuffs *''stuffs his junk into Yusuke's mouth* "WOOOOOO!"mouth''* "WOOOOOO!"
-->'''Yusuke:''' "Zoro! Help!"



-->'''Johnny:''' *Beat*

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' *Beat**beat*



-->'''Zoro:''' "Holy shit dude!"

to:

-->'''Zoro:''' "Holy shit shit, dude!"



--> '''Sanji:''' Why? They badmouth our cuisine! [[InsaneTrollLogic It's like they're shittin' all over us!]]

to:

--> '''Sanji:''' Why? "Why? They badmouth our cuisine! [[InsaneTrollLogic It's like they're shittin' all over us!]]us!]]"



--> '''Sanji:''' You know the story of Christmas right? Saint Nick giving the all the kids presents?
--> '''Zoro:''' Yeah?
--> '''Sanji:''' Well they never tell you about Kris Kringle's brother. Don Kringle. That's right. Long ago, Santa Claus' brother, Don was banished from the North Pole. As legend has it, Don built his base on the west pole. He started small, with only him, his wife, and I dunno like an elf or something. But soon, he amassed an army and every year on July 25th, he exacts his revenge by celebrating Second Christmas.
--> '''Zoro:''' '''First''' Christmas.
--> '''Sanji:''' What?
--> '''Zoro:''' It would be ''First'' Christmas. Christmas is on December 25th. Quote on quote Second Christmas is ''July'' 25th. You shoud call it ''First'' Christmas. Because it comes first.

to:

--> '''Sanji:''' You "You know the story of Christmas Christmas, right? Saint Nick giving the all the kids presents?
presents?"
--> '''Zoro:''' Yeah?
"Yeah?"
--> '''Sanji:''' Well "Well they never tell you about Kris Kringle's brother. brother, Don Kringle. That's right. Long right, long ago, Santa Claus' brother, Don was banished from the North Pole. As legend has it, Don built his base on the west pole.West Pole. He started small, with only him, his wife, and I dunno like an elf or something. But soon, he amassed an army and every year on July 25th, he exacts his revenge by celebrating Second Christmas.
Christmas."
--> '''Zoro:''' '''First''' Christmas.
"''First'' Christmas."
--> '''Sanji:''' What?
"What?"
--> '''Zoro:''' It "It would be be...''First'' Christmas. Christmas is on December 25th. Quote on quote unquote, Second Christmas is ''July'' 25th. You shoud should call it ''First'' Christmas. Because Christmas because it comes first."



--> '''(Heavenly Choir starts then immediatley stops)'''
--> '''Don:''' That's right assholes, Second Christmas is here! Now everyone get out your shit and put it in this bag!
--> '''Zoro:''' Wait, he's robbing us?
--> '''Sanji:''' Yes asshole! He does it every year! I just explained that!
--> '''Zoro:''' Oh my god! Then call it '''REVERSE''' CHRISTMAS!
** Then Don Kringle and his elf threaten to have ''[[LogicBomb two]]'' Second Christmases should they win a battle to the death.
--> '''Zoro:''' Oh my fucking god.
--> '''Elf:''' *hisses*
* Anthony. Ant. Anthony. Ant. Anthony Ant. Wait a minute, it all makes sense now! "SANJI! HE'S FLAME-RETARD-ANT!"

to:

--> '''(Heavenly *''Heavenly Choir starts then immediatley stops)'''
immediately stops''*
--> '''Don:''' That's right assholes, "That's right, assholes! Second Christmas is here! Now everyone get out your their shit and put it in this bag!
bag!"
--> '''Zoro:''' Wait, "Wait, he's robbing us?
us?"
--> '''Sanji:''' Yes "Yes asshole! He does it every year! I just explained that!
that!"
--> '''Zoro:''' Oh "Oh my god! Then god, then call it '''REVERSE''' CHRISTMAS!
CHRISTMAS!"
** Then Don Kringle and his elf (Gin) threaten to have ''[[LogicBomb two]]'' Second Christmases should they win a battle to the death.
--> '''Zoro:''' Oh "Oh my fucking god.
god."
--> '''Elf:''' '''Gin:''' *hisses*
* Luffy: "Wait a minute... Anthony. Ant. Anthony. Ant. Anthony Ant. Wait a minute, it It all makes sense now! "SANJI! SANJI! HE'S FLAME-RETARD-ANT!"



-->'''Luffy:''' What's going on? Who is that?

to:

-->'''Luffy:''' What's "What's going on? Who is that?that?"



-->'''Zoro:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext It's Jesus]].

to:

-->'''Zoro:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext It's Jesus]]."



-->'''Jesus:''' How you been, man?
-->'''Zoro:''' Not bad actually, I found this crazy bag for swimmin in--
-->'''Jesus:''' KA-KAW
-->'''Zoro:''' AHHHHH! (gets slashed across the chest) AAAAHHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER!
-->'''Jesus:''' ...Have a good day.
-->'''Zoro:''' OH REALLY?! FUCK YOU!

to:

-->'''Jesus:''' How you "How ya been, man?
man?"
-->'''Zoro:''' Not bad actually, "Not bad, actually. I found this crazy bag for swimmin in--
in--"
-->'''Jesus:''' KA-KAW
"KA-KAW"
-->'''Zoro:''' AHHHHH! (gets "AHHHHH!" *''gets slashed across the chest) AAAAHHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER!
-->'''Jesus:''' ...
chest''* "AAAAHHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER!"
-->'''Jesus:''' "...
Have a good day.
day."
-->'''Zoro:''' OH "OH REALLY?! FUCK YOU!YOU!"



-->'''Jesus:''' We meet again, only this time, for the first time.
-->'''Zoro:''' What brings you here? And why now?
-->'''Jesus:''' The blonde man beefed in my salad. *flashback to that just happening* I seek vengeance.
-->'''Zoro:''' Fair enough, but first... I challenge you.
-->'''Jesus:''' Very well. I will dispatch faster than I cum fart on an airplane.
--> An airplane passes by and does just that. Zoro vomits.
-->'''Jesus:''' OH! FUCKING GROSS!
* Luffy: "That's it. I can't take it anymore! Everyone but me has maimed someone today! '''YOU!''' LET'S DO THIS THING!"

to:

-->'''Jesus:''' We "We meet again, only again. Only this time, time...for the first time.
time."
-->'''Zoro:''' What "What brings you here? And why now?
now?"
-->'''Jesus:''' The "The blonde man beefed in my salad. *flashback salad." *''flashback to that just happening* I happening''* "I seek vengeance.
vengeance."
-->'''Zoro:''' Fair "Fair enough, but first... first...I challenge you.
you." *''ties his bandanna on his head''*
-->'''Jesus:''' Very "Very well. I will dispatch faster than I a cum fart on an airplane.
--> An
airplane." *''an airplane passes by and does just that. that, which causes Zoro vomits.
-->'''Jesus:''' OH!
to vomit''* "OH! FUCKING GROSS!
GROSS!"
* Luffy: "That's it. it! I can't take it anymore! Everyone but me has maimed someone today! '''YOU!''' today!" *''to Don Kringle''* "'''YOU!''' LET'S DO THIS THING!"



-->'''Zeff:''' I just wanna say I'm very proud of all of you. You all accomplished some great work today.
-->'''Zoro:''' [profusely bleeding] GO FUCK YOURSELF-
-->'''Zeff:''' We're finally free of Second Christmas!

to:

-->'''Zeff:''' I "I just wanna say I'm very proud of all of you. You all accomplished some great work today.
today."
-->'''Zoro:''' [profusely bleeding] GO *''profusely bleeding''* "GO FUCK YOURSELF-
YOURSELF-"
-->'''Zeff:''' We're "We're finally free of Second Christmas!Christmas!"



-->'''Jesus:''' I saw that monkey boy you were talking about, I took a HEAVING shit on his friend.
-->'''Shanks:''' (pouring Jesus a drink) Well, looks like the foot is on the other shoe now!
--> Jesus's drink blows up and he turns towards Shanks, [[BrickJoke implying that he beefed in it]].

to:

-->'''Jesus:''' I "I saw that monkey boy you were talking about, I took a HEAVING shit on his friend.
friend."
-->'''Shanks:''' (pouring *''pouring Jesus a drink) Well, drink''* "Well, looks like the foot is on the other shoe now!
now!"
--> Jesus's *''Jesus' drink blows up and he turns towards Shanks, [[BrickJoke implying that he beefed in it]].''*
2nd Dec '16 12:36:04 PM LoneWolf03
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-->'''Merry:''' "There has been a reckoning... It was in my pants..."
-->'''Miss Kaya:''' "What are you talking about?"
-->'''Merry:''' "It was Kuro... he went Freddy Krueger on my balls..."

to:

-->'''Merry:''' --->'''Merry:''' "There has been a reckoning... It was in my pants..."
-->'''Miss
"\\
'''Miss
Kaya:''' "What are you talking about?"
-->'''Merry:'''
about?"\\
'''Merry:'''
"It was Kuro... he He went Freddy Krueger on my balls..."



* A customer on the Baratie complains his soup is just a ''little'' too cold. Sanji flat out ''shits in his soup'' and beats the crap out of him while singing Hush Little Baby. What makes it even more hilarious is [[CrossesTheLineTwice another customer cheering Sanji on]].

to:

* A customer on the Baratie complains his soup is just a ''little'' too cold. Sanji flat out ''shits in his soup'' and beats the crap out of him while singing Hush "Hush Little Baby.Baby". What makes it even more hilarious is [[CrossesTheLineTwice another customer cheering Sanji on]].



-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh him! ....He's still on the ship. we can go say hi to him if you want."
-->'''Johnny:''' "HEY! Yusuke! We got guests! Show some fuckin' respect! *Yusuke is blue and injured on the deck* ...You lazy piece of shit."

to:

-->'''Johnny:''' "Oh "Oh, him! ....He's still on the ship. we can go say hi to him if you want."
-->'''Johnny:''' "HEY!
HEY! Yusuke! We got guests! Show some fuckin' respect! *Yusuke is blue and injured on the deck* ...You lazy piece of shit."



--> '''Sanji:''' Why? They badmouth our cuisine! [[InsaneTrollLogic It's like they're shittin' on us!]]

to:

--> '''Sanji:''' Why? They badmouth our cuisine! [[InsaneTrollLogic It's like they're shittin' on all over us!]]



** You Picked Me playing after Luffy punches Don Kringle in the face.

to:

** You "You Picked Me Me" playing after Luffy punches Don Kringle in the face.
27th Nov '16 8:21:12 PM Fourze99
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* But most of all, the fact that [=PurpleEyesWTF=] waited ''over a year'' for the sake of uploading it on July 25th and making a single joke make sense.
26th Nov '16 3:28:24 PM nombretomado
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--> '''Luffy:''' "All this jackass needs is Tilda Swinton and he's ready to tackle [[ChroniclesOfNarnia Narnia]]! I am insulting your wardrobe!

to:

--> '''Luffy:''' "All this jackass needs is Tilda Swinton and he's ready to tackle [[ChroniclesOfNarnia [[Film/TheChroniclesOfNarnia Narnia]]! I am insulting your wardrobe!
25th Nov '16 4:46:28 AM meh2016
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-->I DRAGGED HIS ASS TWO MILES, AND ''YOU HAD THE *BEEP* KEY THE WHOLE *BEEP* FUCKING TIME!?''

to:

-->I DRAGGED HIS ASS TWO MILES, AND dragged his ass two miles and ''YOU HAD THE *BEEP* KEY THE WHOLE *BEEP* FUCKING TIME!?''TIME?!''
2nd Nov '16 4:14:08 PM Fourze99
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** Zeff [[spoiler: revealing that he was Saint Nick all this time, and soon exploding after trying to ho-ho-ho after years of not doing so.]]
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