History Funny / NightCourt

19th Sep '17 5:26:44 AM WhoseLineFan
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-->''(chuckles)'' Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty ''(EvilLaugh, suddenly stops)'' What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. ''(starts wandering around the room waving his hands)'' Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no ''(billow cape)'' '''jus-tice''' in this '''buil-ding''' ''(EvilLaugh)''. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, ''(raises cape with both hands)'' I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the '''wick-ed!''' ''(rushes to the desk)'' I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, ''(laugh)'' because the Phantom's lair is short on '''half and half!''' Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! ''(EvilLaugh, runs into the couch)'' '''Ouch!''' ''(sad voice)'' The Phantom banged his shin. ''(waves hands)'' I'll have to take that out... on someone. ''({{Sting}}, Dan climbs out the window)''

to:

-->''(chuckles)'' Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty guilty. ''(EvilLaugh, suddenly stops)'' What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. ''(starts wandering around the room waving his hands)'' Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no ''(billow cape)'' '''jus-tice''' in this '''buil-ding''' ''(EvilLaugh)''. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, ''(raises cape with both hands)'' I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the '''wick-ed!''' ''(rushes to the desk)'' I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, ''(laugh)'' because the Phantom's lair is short on '''half and half!''' Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! ''(EvilLaugh, runs into the couch)'' '''Ouch!''' ''(sad voice)'' The Phantom banged his shin. ''(waves hands)'' I'll have to take that out... on someone. ''({{Sting}}, Dan climbs out the window)''
19th Sep '17 2:54:16 AM WhoseLineFan
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-->''(chuckles)'' Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty ''(EvilLaugh, suddenly stops)'' What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. ''(starts wandering around the room waving his hands)'' Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no ''(billow cape)'' '''jus-tice''' in this '''buil-ding''' ''(EvilLaugh)''. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, ''(raises cape with both hands)'' I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the '''wick-ed!''' ''(rushes to the desk)'' I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, ''(laugh)'' because the Phantom's lair is short on '''half and half!''' Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! ''(EvilLaugh, runs into the couch)'' '''Ouch!''' ''(sad voice)'' The Phantom banged his shin. ''(waves hands)'' I'll have to take that out... on someone. ''({{Sting}}, Dan climbs out the window)''

to:

-->''(chuckles)'' Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty ''(EvilLaugh, suddenly stops)'' What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. ''(starts wandering around the room waving his hands)'' Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no ''(billow cape)'' '''jus-tice''' in this '''buil-ding''' ''(EvilLaugh)''. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, ''(raises cape with both hands)'' I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the '''wick-ed!''' ''(rushes to the desk)'' I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, ''(laugh)'' because the Phantom's lair is short on '''half and half!''' Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! ''(EvilLaugh, runs into the couch)'' '''Ouch!''' ''(sad voice)'' The Phantom banged his shin. ''(waves hands)'' I'll have to take that out... on someone. ''({{Sting}}, Dan climbs out the window)''
9th Sep '17 5:56:26 AM Arrowhead
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'''Bull''': Murray! I told you to wait in the car!

to:

'''Bull''': -->'''Bull''': Murray! I told you to wait in the car!
9th Sep '17 5:56:02 AM Arrowhead
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* In one episode, a ClipShow, the framing device is that Harry is under investigation by the state for the numerous expenses he has incurred during his tenure. He and the rest of the cast describe the bizarre things that have taken place in his courtroom, leading to these expenses. At the end, the state investigator tells them all that he will report them for perpetrating such a massive fraud, only for a herd of elephants to promptly stampede through the courtroom. Shaken, the investigator says, "I believe everything you say."

to:

* In one episode, a ClipShow, the ClipShow episode simply called "Clip Show", the framing device is that Harry the gang is under investigation by the state city for the numerous expenses he has incurred they claimed during his tenure. He and the rest of the cast describe Harry's tenure as a Night Court judge. Everyone describes the bizarre things that have taken place in his courtroom, leading the courtroom and how those related to these the various expenses. At the end, the state investigator tells Even after a disgruntled clown takes them all hostage, the auditor refuses to believe that he will report them for perpetrating such strange things just happen in Judge Stone's court... until there is a massive fraud, only for a herd of elephants to promptly stampede through loud noise from the courtroom. courtroom and everyone enters to find Bull standing in the middle of the room with a full-grown elephant. Shaken, the investigator auditor says, "I believe everything you say.""
** The Crowning moment comes when the oblivious Bull turns around, having not noticed the benches behind him and the wall being destroyed, and admonishes the elephant...
'''Bull''': Murray! I told you to wait in the car!
16th Jul '17 7:24:18 AM WhosAsking
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-->'''Bob''': Yeah...[[CrossesTheLineTwice On the railway tracks.]]

to:

-->'''Bob''': Yeah...[[CrossesTheLineTwice On the railway railroad tracks.]]]]
** Finally hearing enough, Harry demands they cut to the chase; Dan explains the actual offense ("''Destruction of neighboring property, sir, to the tune of about $85.''") and Harry decides to just let them off with paying for the damages. Christine asks if paying will be an issue, and they then reveal that the coffee can they carried into the courtroom ''[[AMacGuffinFullOfMoney was full of money]]''.
15th Jul '17 12:03:26 PM mlsmithca
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* In ''Constitution, Part 2'', as Dan is trying to administer an insulin shot to a hallucinating Roz, while she is standing on a roof ledge.

to:

* In ''Constitution, "Constitution, Part 2'', 2", as Dan is trying to administer an insulin shot to a hallucinating Roz, while she is standing on a roof ledge.



* In ''Yet Another Day In The Life'', an entire case was carried out in Seussian verse. For reference the case is about a mother assaulting Dr Seuss {{Expy}} Doctor Wiggles when her son broke his arm imitating "the Snurt", a character from Wiggle's book "Fleas In Your Trees, No Sneezes Please".

to:

* In ''Yet "Yet Another Day In The Life'', Life", an entire case was carried out in Seussian verse. For reference the case is about a mother assaulting Dr Seuss {{Expy}} Doctor Wiggles when her son broke his arm imitating "the Snurt", a character from Wiggle's book "Fleas In Your Trees, No Sneezes Please".



* In ''Danny Got His Gun, Part 1'', Dan - who is in the US Army Reserves - is called into active duty. Fearful that he is going to be sent into a war zone, Dan tries to provoke Bull into injuring him so he's unfit for combat duty. However Bull was on to him and refused to take the bait. Among the many insults he throws at Bull...

to:

* In ''Danny "Danny Got His Gun, Part 1'', 1", Dan - who is in the US Army Reserves - is called into active duty. Fearful that he is going to be sent into a war zone, Dan tries to provoke Bull into injuring him so he's unfit for combat duty. However Bull was on to him and refused to take the bait. Among the many insults he throws at Bull...



* The Season 5 Halloween episode ''Safe'' has Dan thinking that he has literally sold his soul to the devil, leading to:

to:

* The Season 5 Halloween episode ''Safe'' "Safe" has Dan thinking that he has literally sold his soul to the devil, leading to:



* In ''Earthquake'', as Harry complains about the monotony of the cases being brought before him recently, two sumo wrestlers in full costume are escorted in.

to:

* In ''Earthquake'', "Earthquake", as Harry complains about the monotony of the cases being brought before him recently, two sumo wrestlers in full costume are escorted in.



* From the first episode:
--> '''"The Defense wants Heads, Your Honor!"'''
** To expand, Harry had been making decisions by flipping a coin, which he chose to refer to as "The Coin of Justice", such as saying that if the coin came up "Heads", he'd remain a judge, and "Tails", he'd resign. Then he told [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold Carla B.]] that if it was "Heads", he'd fine her, and "Tails" he'd jail her. And again, it was Heads. We finally learn that Harry was using a TwoHeadedCoin.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh1pZqmxvmM This scene from ''Still Another Day In The Life''.]]
* In ''I'm OK, You're Catatonic/Schizophrenic'', Dan accidentally destroys Harry's Mel Torme record collection. Harry has to be physically restrained when he's informed of this. Filled with rage, we get this classic line:

to:

* From the first episode:
--> '''"The Defense wants Heads, Your Honor!"'''
** To expand,
episode: Harry had been making decisions by flipping a coin, which he chose to refer to as "The Coin of Justice", such as saying that if the coin came up "Heads", he'd remain a judge, and "Tails", he'd resign. Then he told [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold Carla B.]] that if it was "Heads", he'd fine her, and "Tails" he'd jail her.her, leading to the line '''"The Defense wants Heads, Your Honor!"'''. And again, it was Heads. We finally learn that Harry was using a TwoHeadedCoin.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh1pZqmxvmM This scene from ''Still "Still Another Day In The Life''.Life".]]
* In ''I'm "I'm OK, You're Catatonic/Schizophrenic'', Catatonic/Schizophrenic", Dan accidentally destroys Harry's Mel Torme record collection. Harry has to be physically restrained when he's informed of this. Filled with rage, we get this classic line:



* In ''Russkie Business'', FunnyForeigner Yakov is desperate for a way back to Russia to take care of his sick mother. The official who originally denied Yakov's application for a travel visa - a stereotypical large Russian woman - takes a liking to Dan and tells him that she could make an exception for Yakov if Dan slept with her. When Dan tells everyone else about this breech of protocol...
--> '''Yakov''': Mr. Fielding! You would do this for me?
--> '''Dan''': I'd sooner do it WITH you.
--> '''Yakov''': (beat) Well, if you think it would help...
--> '''Dan''': NO!
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjEx8ClvsA Also from ''Russkie Business'']], One running gag of the episode had Christine being overly sensitive about her appearance, after Harry pointed out a small dent under her eyebrow. At the end of the episode, Bull delivers a note, apparently written by a secret admirer, talking about how beautiful Christine is and how the author would like to take her to dinner. When Christine assumes that the note was just an effort by everyone else to make her feel better and storms off offended, Bull walks across the cafeteria to another table.
--> '''Bull''':Sorry. I guess she wasn't interested.
--> (The camera pans over to reveal ''Series/TheTonightShow'' host Johnny Carson)
--> '''Johnny Carson''':I'm sorry to hear that.
--> '''Bull''':Excuse me, but aren't you married now?
--> '''Johnny Carson''': (confused) I - I don't know.

to:

* In ''Russkie Business'', "Russkie Business":
**
FunnyForeigner Yakov is desperate for a way back to Russia to take care of his sick mother. The official who originally denied Yakov's application for a travel visa - a stereotypical large Russian woman - takes a liking to Dan and tells him that she could make an exception for Yakov if Dan slept with her. When Dan tells everyone else about this breech of protocol...
--> ---> '''Yakov''': Mr. Fielding! You would do this for me?
-->
me?\\
'''Dan''': I'd sooner do it WITH you.
-->
you.\\
'''Yakov''': (beat) ''(beat)'' Well, if you think it would help...
-->
help...\\
'''Dan''': NO!
* ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjEx8ClvsA Also from ''Russkie Business'']], "Russkie Business"]], One running gag of the episode had Christine being overly sensitive about her appearance, after Harry pointed out a small dent under her eyebrow. At the end of the episode, Bull delivers a note, apparently written by a secret admirer, talking about how beautiful Christine is and how the author would like to take her to dinner. When Christine assumes that the note was just an effort by everyone else to make her feel better and storms off offended, Bull walks across the cafeteria to another table.
--> '''Bull''':Sorry. --->'''Bull''': Sorry. I guess she wasn't interested.
--> (The
interested.\\
''(The
camera pans over to reveal ''Series/TheTonightShow'' host Johnny Carson)
--> '''Johnny Carson''':I'm sorry to hear that.
--> '''Bull''':Excuse me, but aren't you married now?
-->
Carson)''\\
'''Johnny Carson''': (confused) I'm sorry to hear that.\\
'''Bull''': Excuse me, but aren't you married now?\\
'''Johnny Carson''': ''(confused)''
I - I don't know.[[note]] He was; the marriage was his fourth and last.[[/note]]



* In ''The Game Show'', Bull is going on a local game show to raise the money needed to save the after-school program he works for but is afraid he'll crack under pressure. Dan, who knows something about hypnosis, tries to hypnotize Bull to be more confident whenever he hears a certain key phrase. Owing to bad timing due to Dan's attempting to pick up a passing woman, the phrase used is "I want to be your love slave." Christine goes to the studio with Bull and hilarity and confusion ensue as she tries to activate the phrase.
--> '''Christine''': You're not going to be nervous because... (sultry) I want to be your love slave.
--> '''Bull''': Say, that IS good news!
--> '''Christine''': No, Bull. You don't understand... (slowly and deliberately) I want to be your love slave!
--> '''Bull''': Christine, you're making my brain sweat!

to:

* In ''The "The Game Show'', Show":
**
Bull is going on a local game show to raise the money needed to save the after-school program he works for but is afraid he'll crack under pressure. Dan, who knows something about hypnosis, tries to hypnotize Bull to be more confident whenever he hears a certain key phrase. Owing to bad timing due to Dan's attempting to pick up a passing woman, the phrase used is "I want to be your love slave." Christine goes to the studio with Bull and hilarity and confusion ensue as she tries to activate the phrase.
--> '''Christine''': --->'''Christine''': You're not going to be nervous because... (sultry) I want to be your love slave.
-->
slave.\\
'''Bull''': Say, that IS good news!
-->
news!\\
'''Christine''': No, Bull. You don't understand... (slowly and deliberately) I want to be your love slave!
-->
slave!\\
'''Bull''': Christine, you're making my brain sweat!



* In ''Snoop And Nuts, Part Two'', this exchange after Harry and Buddy start talking about their relationship now that Harry knows Buddy is his biological father.

to:

* In ''Snoop "Snoop And Nuts, Part Two'', Two", this exchange after Harry and Buddy start talking about their relationship now that Harry knows Buddy is his biological father.



* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrLvtoKZfxY Bob and June Wheeler make a return visit to the court.]] [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensues]]. The dialogue starts by hilariously tiptoeing around the basic offense that they damaged the neighbor's yard with an explosion:

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrLvtoKZfxY Bob and June Wheeler make a return visit to the court.]] [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensues]].HilarityEnsues. The dialogue starts by hilariously tiptoeing around the basic offense that they damaged the neighbor's yard with an explosion:
4th Jul '17 5:23:06 PM MikeW
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Added DiffLines:

** June notes how Bob hasn't been the same since his Granny died. The gang all give each other long looks.
-->'''Christine''': Oh, what the hell, ''someone'' has to ask! How'd she die?
-->'''June''': She passed on in her sleep.
-->'''Harry''': That's it?
-->'''Bob''': Yeah...[[CrossesTheLineTwice On the railway tracks.]]
4th Jul '17 5:20:38 PM MikeW
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Added DiffLines:

* The absolutely ridiculously unlucky [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd7by2m1VDs Bob and June Wheeler]].
** They admit they're not from West Virginia but picked it as "it was the most exotic place we could think of."
-->'''Harry''': So where are you guys from?
-->'''June''': Isn't it obvious from our accents?
-->'''Harry''': You mean...
-->'''Bob''': Yugoslavia.
** The gang basically just has enough of these two.
-->'''Christine''': Due to the...pathetic circumstances, I move for a dismissal.
-->'''Harry''': Prosecution?
-->'''Dan''': ...Let's just hang them, put them out of their misery...
17th Jun '17 6:12:30 AM WhoseLineFan
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'''Dan:''' Your honour, she hit the poor man with her shoe.\\

to:

'''Dan:''' Your honour, honor, she hit the poor man with her shoe.\\
16th Jun '17 6:40:40 AM WhosAsking
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrLvtoKZfxY Bob and June Wheeler make a return visit to the court.]] [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensues]].

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrLvtoKZfxY Bob and June Wheeler make a return visit to the court.]] [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensues]]. The dialogue starts by hilariously tiptoeing around the basic offense that they damaged the neighbor's yard with an explosion:
--> '''Mac''': They were picked up on a [[LoonyLaws 509(b) violation]], sir.\\
'''Harry''': 509?\\
'''Mac''': Uh-huh.\\
'''Harry''': (b)?\\
'''Mac''': Yeah.\\
'''Harry''': I don't believe I'm familiar with that one.\\
'''Dan''': Well, sir, it's not used in Manhattan very much. It involves the illegal detonation of ''[[CluckingFunny poultry]]''.\\
'''Harry''': Excuse me, but I didn't think that ''chickens'' were among our more-widely-used explosives.\\
'''Christine''': Sir, the Wheelers were merely trying their hand at egg-farming. They ran into a bit of difficulty with a [[PlayingWithFire propane-powered incubator]].\\
'''Harry''': So all the would-be chicks are now...\\
'''Dan''': ''[[StuffBlowingUp Quiche]]'', yes, sir.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.NightCourt