History Funny / MonstersInc

'''Mike:''' ''[screams in pain]''

'''Mike:''' WAAAAH!!!''(falls to the floor)''\\

'''Pete "Claws" Ward:''' (sobbing)The kid almost touched me! She got this close to me!\\

'''Mike:''' What the-\\

'''Randall:''' WAZOWSKI!

'''Pete "Claws" Ward:''' The kid almost touched me! She got this close to me!\\

** ''[[http://youtu.be/CG2T7upUVAk?t=1m5s This outtake with Needleman and Smitty.]]''

'''Needleman:''' YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!

'''Mike:''' I said... ''(sees Sulley out the window)'' Sulley?\\

-->'''Smitty:''' Go get 'em, Mr. Solimen!
-->'''Needleman:''' You idiot! It's ''Sullivan'', not Solimen!
-->'''Smitty:''' What?
-->'''Needleman:''' You're messin' up the scene!
-->'''Smitty:''' Sorry!
-->'''Needleman:''' We're never gonna work in Hollywood again!
-->'''Smitty:''' Lemme do it over!
-->'''Needleman:''' SHUT UP!
-->'''Smitty:''' Keep rolling!
-->'''Needleman:''' YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!

'''Mike:''' I said, ''(sees Sulley out the window)'' Sulley?\\

-->'''Needleman:''' You're messin'up the scene!

-->'''Smitty:''' Go get'em, Mr. Solimen!

** ''[[http://youtu.be/CG2T7upUVAk?t=1m5s YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!]]''

'''Mike:''' I don't! ''(An alarm blares)'' Uh-oh! ''(A gigantic machine lowers from the ceiling. It slowly moves closer to Mike)'' What's that? What is that thing?! That thing is moving! I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me! Randall!\\

-->'''Randall:''' I'm about to revolutionize the scaring industry. And when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is gonna be working for me.\\

-->'''Randall:''' I'm about to revolutionize the scaring industry. When I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is gonna be working for me!\\

'''Randall:''' First, I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me!\\

'''Mike:''' [[LiteralMinded Hello.]] ''(Randall makes his way to the control panel)'' C'mon, wait! Where you going? We'll have a latte!

-->'''Flint:''' All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
-->'''Bile:''' Uh, my friends call me Phlegm.
-->'''Flint:''' Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
-->'''Bile:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I fell down]]?
-->'''Flint:''' No, no, before that. ''(turning to the trainees behind her)'' Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?
-->'''Trainees''': ''(confused look, one coughs)''
-->'''Flint:''' ''(playing the footage on the screen of Bile entering the room)'' UGH... Let's take a look at the tape. Here we go... Uh-right... pa-pa-pa-pa pah, there, see? The door! You left it wide open. ''And'' leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make ''because''...
-->'''Bile:''' Uh... it could let in a draft?
-->'''Waternoose:''' It could let in a child!

-->'''Mike:''' I gotta tell you buddy, that face of hers, it just makes my heart go-''[turns and comes face to face with Roz]'' [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption YIKES!!!]]
-->'''Roz:''' Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
-->'''Mike:''' Well, as a matter of fact-
-->'''Roz:''' And I'm ''sure'' you filed your paperwork correctly, ''for once?'' (''[[OhCrap Mike freezes]]'') [[SarcasmMode Your]] [[StunnedSilence stunned silence]] [[SarcasmMode is very reassuring]].

-->'''Mike''': Celia, please try to understand!! I have to...''(Boo escapes from the bag)'' '''''[[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption DO SOMETHING!!!]]'''''

--> '''Mike''': ''(as he, Sulley and Boo make a mad dash for home)'' Well, I don't think that date could have gone any worse!
--> ''(Cue a gigantic, pulsating orb of plasma consuming a three-block radius around the restaurant)''
** There's also the original version available on Blu-Ray (which sadly had to be cut after [[DistancedFromCurrentEvents/SeptemberEleventh 9/11]]) where they straight-up [[NukeEm nuke]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill the place]]. The original version can also be seen [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wS3VB52Zht0 here]].

--> '''Sulley:''' But she can't stay here; this is the ''men's room!''
--> '''Mike:''' ''({{Beat}})'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.]]

-->'''Sulley:''' Ready or not, here I come! I'm getting warmer. Any second now! ''(crawling along the floor, deep voice)'' FEE FI FO--
-->'''Mike:''' ''(comes in)'' WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

'''Randall''': Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the Scare Floor will be...\\

'''Mike''': (''whimpering'') Uh-huh...

-->'''Needleman:''' So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
-->'''Smitty:''' Oh! What did she say?
-->'''Needleman:''' You know my mom. [[GoToYourRoom She sent me to my room.]]

-->'''Randall:''' WAZOWSKI?! Where is she, you little one-eyed creh-tin?! [[note]]He meant "cretin".[[/note]]
-->'''Mike:''' [[WrongInsultOffence Okay, first of all it's "cree-tin".]] If you're gonna threaten me, [[DoWrongRight do it properly]]. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ''me'' is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top!\\

-->'''Celia:''' You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?!
-->'''Boo:''' ''(Pops up)'' Mike Wazowski!
-->'''Celia:''' ''(Screams and lets go)''
-->'''Mike:''' ''(Meekly)'' I love you Smoopsie-poo!

-->'''Sulley:''' ''Yes, I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you''
-->'''Mike:''' I know what you mean, Sulley! Because-
-->'''Sulley:''' ''I wouldn't know where to go''
-->'''Mike:''' Me too! Because I-
-->'''Sulley:''' ''Wouldn't know what to do''
-->'''Mike:''' Why do you keep singing ''my'' part?

'''Mike:''' Proportions Johnson, proportions! It's ''attitude'' that makes the monster! *puts on an oversized cowboy hat* Let's go.

'''Sulley:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Spoons.]]\\

** Even funnier is Sulley's deadpan look, as well as the tone of his voice as if he were to say, [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe "That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard."]]

'''Mike:''' Man, you should've seen the look on Waternoose's face. I hope we get a copy of that tape! Come on, we did it! We got Boo home! Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now. Not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power. But hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?\\

'''Pete "Claws" Ward:''' ''(grabbing assistant)'' '''I could've been dead! ''[[LargeHam I COULD'VE DIIIIIIED!]]'''''\\

'''Roz:''' This office is now closed. ''[[[{{Fingore}} rolls security shutter down onto Mike's fingers]]]''\\

* Randall becoming Top Scarer of the day for a brief moment, only to be interrupted by a sudden scream from another door. Cut to Mike filling up several canisters, rapid-fire, before Sulley comes out, cracks his knuckles and turns smugly to Randall.

** Bonus points for the rock music coming out of the closet before he slams the door. Must've been one hell of a kid...

** [[WesternAnimation/ToyStory Rex]] makes a cameo in one of the outtakes.

** "Go ahead. Go throw up." (Mike accidentally says this instead of, "Go ''grow'' up, prompting Boo to laugh).

'''Sulley:''' Mangolia? Gimme that. ''(takes Mike's board and reads it)'' It says "Mongolia". ''(gesturing around the decidedly non-Mongolian looking bedroom)'' Does this look like Mongolia to you?\\

'''Sulley:''' Gimme that. ''(takes Mike's board and reads it)'' It says "Mongolia". ''(gesturing around the decidedly non-Mongolian looking bedroom)'' Does this look like Mongolia to you?\\
'''Mike:''' Oh, here it comes...\\
'''Sulley:''' ''(over Mike's continuing objections)'' Remember fourth grade geography, when you spent all your time passing notes to Susie Boyle? The ''rest of us'' were studying geography! This is not Mongolia!

* The opening sequence wherein a monster walks into a child's bedroom, gets freaked out when the child starts screaming and starts knocking things over, and then it's revealed we're in the training simulator and the training instructor immediately begins critiquing him on his mistakes.

'''Roz:''' This office is now closed. ''([[{{Fingore}} rolls security shutter down onto Mike's fingers]])''\\
'''Mike:''' ''[Screams in pain!]''

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