History Funny / McAuslan

5th Oct '16 12:10:15 AM JenBurdoo
Is there an issue? Send a Message


--> Edinburgh Castle, from the guards' point of view, is in a class by itself. It is tremendously important, in a traditional rather than strategic sense; if someone broke into it and pinched Mons Meg the actual well-being of the country would not be affected, but the blow to national prestige would be tremendous. The papers would be full of it. Consequently, providing a guard for the Castle involves--or used to--more frantic preparation, ceremonial, organisation, and general nervous tension than the filming of ''Film/BenHur''.

to:

--> Edinburgh Castle, from the guards' point of view, is in a class by itself. It is tremendously important, in a traditional rather than strategic sense; if someone broke into it and pinched Mons Meg the actual well-being of the country would not be affected, but the blow to national prestige would be tremendous. The papers would be full of it. Consequently, providing a guard for the Castle involves--or used to--more frantic preparation, ceremonial, organisation, and general nervous tension than the filming of ''Film/BenHur''. It is rather like a combination of putting on a Paris fashion display and planning a commando raid, and the fact that it's object is to provide a skeleton guard which couldn't stop a marauding party of intelligent Brownies is, in the military view, beside the point.



* After the battalion redeploys back home, the newbie battalion commander encourages all his officers to play golf, taking advantage of a nearby course. How do the padre and the medical officer play golf? With a hip flask. By the end of their game the padre is off collecting wildflowers, and the medical officer is lying on his back in the rough singing Kishmul's Galley.
** The MO is so drunk he diagnoses a player who sprained his back as suffering from a lethal case of alcohol poisoning.

to:

* After the battalion redeploys back home, the newbie battalion commander encourages all his officers to play golf, taking advantage of a nearby course. How do the padre and the medical officer play golf? With a hip flask. By the end of their game the padre is off collecting wildflowers, and the medical officer is lying on his back in the rough singing Kishmul's Galley.
''Kishmul's Galley''.
** The MO is so drunk he diagnoses a player who sprained his back as suffering from a lethal case of alcohol poisoning. This leads to the insulted player going on to finish the course and thus beat the MO and Padre, when he might otherwise have conceded despite being well ahead on points.



* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" [=McLaren=]'s cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae=]]]'s roles in the whole merry mess.

to:

* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing [[HillbillyMoonshiner Aeneas "The Dipper" [=McLaren=]'s [=McLaren=]'s]] cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae=]]]'s roles in the whole merry mess.
3rd Aug '16 5:36:39 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" McLaren's cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae's=]]] roles in the whole merry mess.

to:

* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" McLaren's [=McLaren=]'s cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae's=]]] [=MacRae=]]]'s roles in the whole merry mess.
3rd Aug '16 5:36:05 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" McLaren's cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae's=] roles in the whole merry mess.

to:

* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" McLaren's cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae's=] [=MacRae's=]]] roles in the whole merry mess.
3rd Aug '16 5:35:53 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* The ''entirety'' of "The Gordon Women", but especially the latter half describing Aeneas "The Dipper" McLaren's cunning efforts to outmaneuver the Admiral and the gadgers. Also, the ultimate reveal of [[spoiler:[=McAuslan=] and [=MacRae's=] roles in the whole merry mess.
23rd Jul '16 12:19:41 PM JackG
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** The MO is so drunk he diagnoses a player who sprained his back as suffering from a lethal case of alcohol poisoning.
13th Jul '16 2:20:09 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* "Guard at the Castle" begins with a description of the inverse relationship between the importance of the thing/person being guarded and the amount of rigmarole that goes into standing guard over said thing/person. The idea of someone trying to steal the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_Meg Mons Meg]]''[[note]][[ICallItVera A medieval cannon]][[DontExplainTheJoke weighing more than 6.5 metric tons]][[/note]] from Edinburgh Castle is presented and made absurd all at once:

to:

* "Guard at the Castle" begins with a description of the inverse relationship between the importance of the thing/person being guarded and the amount of rigmarole that goes into standing guard over said thing/person. The idea of someone trying to steal the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_Meg Mons Meg]]''[[note]][[ICallItVera A medieval cannon]][[DontExplainTheJoke cannon]] [[DontExplainTheJoke weighing more than 6.5 metric tons]][[/note]] from Edinburgh Castle is presented and made absurd all at once:
13th Jul '16 2:18:55 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* "Guard at the Castle" begins with a description of the inverse relationship between the importance of the thing/person being guarded and the amount of rigmarole that goes into standing guard over said thing/person. The idea of someone trying to steal the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_Meg Mons Meg]]''[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke A medieval cannon weighing more than 6.5 metric tons]][[/note]] from Edinburgh Castle is presented and made absurd all at once:

to:

* "Guard at the Castle" begins with a description of the inverse relationship between the importance of the thing/person being guarded and the amount of rigmarole that goes into standing guard over said thing/person. The idea of someone trying to steal the ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_Meg Mons Meg]]''[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke Meg]]''[[note]][[ICallItVera A medieval cannon cannon]][[DontExplainTheJoke weighing more than 6.5 metric tons]][[/note]] from Edinburgh Castle is presented and made absurd all at once:


Added DiffLines:

--> Haud on, sur... Ah mean, 'scuse me. Wid ye mind repeatin' that?
13th Jul '16 2:14:22 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* The colonel discovers that his clerk at headquarters can't read a map, and mandates that the next Education Period (which, being set after a lengthy period of "physical exercise" at the beach on a Friday afternoon for [=MacNeill's=] platoon, generally turns out to be a snooze-fest unless debates devolve to politics or religion) be devoted to getting the troops to know how to use a map and compass. [=MacNeill=] poses a question to the assembled platoon: if a particular wall in the room was north, which way is southwest? Everyone points in the right direction in unison--except [=McAuslan=], who points to the ceiling. [=MacNeill=] is wondering just how in hell [=McAuslan=] had figured that one, before realizing that no, [=McAuslan=] isn't pointing where he thinks is southwest--''he's just raising his hand to ask a question''.
22nd Jun '16 11:58:10 AM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* After the battalion redeploys back home, the newbie battalion commander encourages all his officers to play golf, taking advantage of a nearby course. How do the padre and the medical officer play golf? With a hip flask. By the end of their game the padre is off collecting wildflowers, and the medical officer is lying on his back in the rough singing Kishmul's Galley.
2nd Jun '16 2:03:17 PM MadCormorant
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** The raucuousness of being awoken by such a fierce tune causes [=MacNeill=] to think the Battalion has begun another Scottish Rising, or that the [=MacLeods=] have come to settle the score with his kith and kin. Another junior officer, in partial wakefulness, confuses the event for the Americans accidentally dropping a nuclear weapon.
This list shows the last 10 events of 22. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.McAuslan