History Funny / MarkiplierNonGamingVideos

** [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers And]]... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrsVh48pmBg Contemplating a Banana]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slWT2N3NIKM Darkiplier VS AntiSepticEye]]. What is supposed to be an epic square-off between two evil alter-egos turns into hilarious cameos when other "dark" youtuber alter-egos show up with similarly punny names such as [[Creator/TomSka TomSKAR]], [[WebVideo/JacksFilms JacksKills]] and [[WebVideo/AmazingPhil ABlazingPhil]]. All of them suddenly drop dead when a giant, demonic Chica confronts them, and Dark realizes he hijacked Mark before the dog had gotten her daily meal. [[ImAHumanitarian Om nom nom commences.]]

-->'''Mark:''' (face scrunched up) It's not ''bad''... but it tastes ''wrong''.

---> '''Wade:''' Chocolate puppy poopybutts.\\

'''Mark:''' ''But you said "pussy" every time!''
---> '''Wade:''' And the original was... chocolate puppy poopypants.\\
'''Matt:''' I- You said penis! You said penis! I watched you all three times! That was the one word I was sure of!
---> '''Matt:''' What do you mean I can't bang my cousin?\\

** Number 4: Steal Ideas from Other Youtubers' Channels
--->'''Mark:''' ''[Looks at [[Main/NoCelebritiesWereHarmed EipDieWep's]] channel, looks interested]''\\

--> '''Cat!Mark:''' Why did I waste my life making this video?\\

-->'''Mark:''' I'm sorry, I'm just distracted by the extreme humping that's going on over there...

* Mark tempting fate before the second dog video in his second Don't Laugh challenge by telling the video that it's not funny and daring it to BringIt. He starts the video - the dog barks, but the noises are dubbed with the Microsoft Narration saying the noises - and immediately breaks down laughing.

---> '''Mark:''' It makes the sky blue! [[OhCrap That's a problem, that's a problem.]] ([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere quickly goes back inside]])

-->'''Markiplier:''' You think you can just go on the internet and do whatever you want? [[LittleNo No]]. [[SeriousBusiness There are]] '''[[EvilSoundsDeep consequences]]''' [[SeriousBusiness for your actions]].

** Mark's [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial insistence]] that [[Manga/FullmetalAlchemist Maes Hughes]] "goes on to live a long, happy life, where nothing happens..." only to trail off when he notices one of the google image results is [[spoiler:the thumbnail of a meme video featuring himself reacting to Hughes' death.]]

* Mark gets slapped by both [[LetsPlay/PewDiePie Felix]] and [[LetsPlay/{{Jacksepticeye}} Sean]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVKCt1bjZvg as punishment for not getting a video up]], although both of them are very hesitant to slap him.

'''Ryan:''' [[LetsPlay/{{Jacksepticeye}} Sean's]] penis pooped its pants.\\

* The end of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRvYrAfy4kg this]] video (at Indy [=PopCon=]) [[CallBack calls back]] to the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB3pQb3cilg Goofy Goober]] song, including Bob not joining in and walking away at the end. While the Goofy Goober song is still hilarious, what clinches it is at the line 'We're all goofy goobers'. Mark literally drags in new buddy [[LetsPlay/JackSepticEye Jack]]. Literally ''drags him in''. Doubles as a Heartwarming moment.

* Wilford Warfstache [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDyXod3wBME interviews]] [[TalkingToHimself Mark.]] It doesn't end well for Mark.

** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkIhy9MsVJQ Tyler and Ethan got around to punishing Mark]] for the Mental Age bet. It's... way more elaborate than you'd expect. To be specific, they make Mark host a stage show about himself, where he's the usher, ticketmaster, merchandise and concession cashier (complete with hand-made "Markiplier Sucks" t-shirts), stagehand, and ''all'' of the roles. Special mention goes to the musical number about how Tyler is a better Youtuber than Mark.

* Mark’s ad for his new product: a rock with his logo on it. You knew it was going to be hilarious when you saw this:

** Mark then goes on to sing a song extolling the values of the rock, which says, among other things, that you can play hide-and-seek with your rock (with Mark demonstrating), that you can [[DrowningMySorrows drink your cares away]] with [[BreadEggsMilkSquick the rock]] (and advising the viewer to alert the Website/SCPFoundation if the rock starts talking), and that if you don’t brush the rock every so often, you will die.

---> '''Amy:''' Do you have something to say about my great grandmother?\\

--> '''Markiplier:''' You think you can just go on the internet and do whatever you want? [[LittleNo No]]. [[SeriousBusiness There are]] '''[[EvilSoundsDeep consequences]]''' [[SeriousBusiness for your actions]].

--->'''Mark:''' (''sees Rowlet'') That's an ''owl''. Pass.
--->'''Mark:''' (''sees Dartrix'') That's another owl. Pass.
--->'''Mark:''' (''sees Decidueye; beat'') ...smash.

** On the flip side, being compared to [[WesternAnimation/Onward Wilden Lightfoot]] upsets Mark so much that he tells the audience member who mentioned it [[ThisIsUnforgivable he'd never forgive them]]. 

'''Ethan:''' Tyler, when you were playing Water Pool, when the referee went "Hoot, hoot!" on his whistle, did you continue throwing that ball around?\\

* Mark [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdQeDsxarLQ disciplines]] his
"son" Tyler by telling him to go to his room (actually Chica's dog bed, and later a cage) and gives him a huge rock as dinner.

--> '''Mark:''' Be more ''enthused'', Jesse.\\

---> '''Mark:''' ''[reading challenge]'' Be a chair for the person holding the phone.\\

** Mark then goes on to sing a song extolling the values of the rock, which says, among other things, that you can play hide-and-seek with your rock (with Mark demonstrating), that you can [[DrowningMySorrows drink your cares away]] with [[BreadEggsMilkSquick the rock]] (and advising the viewer to alert the Wiki/SCPFoundation if the rock starts talking), and that if you don’t brush the rock every so often, you will die.

'''Mark:''' (Laughing) [[CrossesTheLineTwice No, I am the John Lennon guy!]] [[BigNo Noooooo!]]

** The grand finale, [[NauseaFuel the Bag of Horrors]], made up of a sludge of all the parts of the popsicles they didn't eat at the time. Special mention goes to Mark's claim that [[CrossesTheLineTwice if one of them vomits in the bag,]] [[{{Squick}} they still have to use it anyway]].

** In light of the destruction of both Ethan and Mark's houses, the two of them decide to rebuild a house from the shambles as a team. The discussion of this quickly boils down to an "argument" where Mark and Ethan harshly compliment everything about Tyler, claiming it'll take both of them together to possibly beat him. This includes claiming he has [[BodyHorror both a huge and small dick]] [[AlienGeometries at the same time.]]

* Mark [[ArmorPiercingSlap gets slapped by both]] [[LetsPlay/PewDiePie Felix]] and [[LetsPlay/{{Jacksepticeye}} Sean]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVKCt1bjZvg as punishment for not getting a video up]], although both of them are very hesitant to slap him.

* What do you get when Mark, Ryan, and Matt combine Photobooth with an ice bath? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3fATPJVCS4 Gleeful, painful, sadistic fun!]]. And probably some of the [[CrossesTheLineTwice most hilariously horrifying]] [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams]] [[HellIsThatNoise you'll ever hear!]]

** Mark then goes on to sing a song extolling the values of the rock, which says, among other things, that you can play hide-and-seek with your rock (with Mark demonstrating), that you can [[DrowningMySorrows drink your cares away]] [[BreadEggsMilkSquick with the rock]] (and advising the viewer to alert the Wiki/SCPFoundation if the rock starts talking), and that if you don’t brush the rock every so often, you will die.

** Undeterred, [=MatPat=] then made another theory doubling down on the analysis, creating two final candidates: an elegant bird Pokémon with various features that Mark found attractive... and another one that's just a random mishmash of various Pokémon that Mark said "Smash" to, with [[ScrewYourself Mark's own face]] [[StylisticSuck (intentionally) badly photoshopped on]] to fit with his self-proclaimed narcissism. And sure enough, Mark reacted to this video as well, and gave his opinion... or rather, he didn't give a judgment ''at all'' on either of the two options, but instead photoshopped the bird Pokémon's face onto the mishmash and declared it a Smash.

** Mark getting a JumpScare at the sight of [[UncannyValley Shiinotic]]:

* Mark tries the 50/50 challenge, which is a series of Reddit threads that contains a video or image of something either [[NauseaFuel nauseating]] or [[SugarWiki/SweetDreamsFuel pleasant]], but you won't know until you click on it. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQV8SNJc15o&feature=youtu.be Mark's]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7V-ghjjIMQ videos]] of his attempts ''would'' be NightmareFuel for the descriptions. However, [[ScreamingAtSquick his reactions]], plus the fact that [[TakeOurWordForIt the actual content is censored]], makes it more hilarious if anything. His astonished relief when he encounters something pleasant is fun, too.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slWT2N3NIKM Darkiplier VS AntiSepticEye]]. What is supposed to be an epic square-off between two evil alter-egos turns into hilarious cameos when other “dark” youtuber alter-egos show up with similarly punny names such as [[Creator/TomSka TomSKAR]], [[WebVideo/JacksFilms JacksKills]] and [[WebVideo/AmazingPhil ABlazingPhil]]. All of them suddenly drop dead when a giant, demonic Chica confronts them, and Dark realizes he hijacked Mark before the dog had gotten her daily meal. [[ImAHumanitarian Om nom nom commences.]]
** When everyone is dropping dead, most of them are either screaming, panicking, begging for help or futilely trying to fight back...except [[WebVideo/{{Danisnotonfire}} Dark Dan]], who just kinda shrugs nonchalantly and falls over.

* [[https://youtu.be/l0QOgWITMss The 17 million subscriber video]]. As Mark tip-taps away on his computer and discovers that he hit 17 million, he immediately runs off to tell everyone... only to see that they're too busy celebrating Wade's birthday to care. What makes it so hilarious is that when they sing him happy birthday, they put extra emphasis on his name ''("Happy birthday to '''WADE''', happy birthday to '''WADE'''!")'' as if to make Mark feel even ''less'' significant. The video ends with a snapshot of everyone celebrating, while a distressed Mark sits in the sidelines (followed by the caption "Thanks for 17 million!!!" being X'ed out and replaced with a crudely-written "Happy birthday, Wade...")

--> '''Mark''': (face scrunched up) It's not ''bad''...but it tastes ''wrong''.

* To commemorate reaching 16 million subscribers, Mark takes a [[https://youtu.be/snBTH2bIme8 Mental Age Test]] and bets that if his mental age is under 16, he'll let Ethan and Tyler give him a "punishment" of their choosing. Hoping to get a high enough age, he tries going for the "old people" answers throughout the test. He then ends up getting a mental age of '''[[EpicFail seven]]'''.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYEplmA3ELk Mark decides to make Twitter banners for his fans based off their favorite things]]. However, of course one fan suggests "penis". Mark's reaction is hilarious, and what he comes up with is even more so.

** [[ItMakesSenseInContext He mathematically proves that he's cooler than Pewpiepie.]]
* Mark [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdQeDsxarLQ disciplines]] his “son” Tyler by telling him to go to his room (actually Chica’s dog bed, and later a cage) and gives him a huge rock as dinner.

** At first he approves of getting Jenny because she has [[https://youtu.be/mO_jclnyrME this video]] on her channel[[note]]which in itself is a SugarWiki/{{Funny Moment|s}} involving ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'' and ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion''[[/note]], only to realize that she also has several ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'' videos. Cue silent horror, and Mark deciding it wouldn't work out. Later, when he gets [=TheGabbieShow=], he specifically searches her channel to find out if she likes it too. He cheers when nothing comes up.

* In one of his "Reading Your Comments" videos, Mark reads a comment demanding him to "entertain us." [[https://youtu.be/-1exOol0GBM?t=1m7s Mark does just that.]]

---> '''Mark:''' ''[starting up the accent]'' We have...we have gummy leaves. We have h-holly berries. We have lights for house. We have candy for house. ''[referring to frosting]'' And we have squeeze!...For squeeze!\\

---> '''Mark:''' That was the fun-est stage! Did you have fun? If you did, SSSSSSSSSSMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!\\

----> '''Ethan:''' I'm sorry...\\

---> '''Ethan:''' Tyler, on your [=SATs=], did you continue test-taking once they said "Hey, time's up, pencils down."?\\

* Mark [[ArmorPiercingSlap gets slapped by both]] [[LetsPlay/PewDiePie Felix]] and [[LetsPlay/{{Jacksepticeye}} Sean]] [[https://youtu.be/YVKCt1bjZvg as punishment for not getting a video up]], although both of them are very hesitant to slap him.
--> '''To Felix:''' Stop being a bitch and slap me.\\

* In the “ALL OUT WAR” video Markiplier and [[WebVideo/GameTheory MatPat]] fool around with some prop swords (as in whacking and being whacked by) and the exchanged dialogue is priceless.
--> '''Mark:''' I happen to get hurt in a lot of videos that I make. It's really bizarre.\\

* Mark smears peanut butter on his face and proclaims “[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjOLGq7LNCk I'M KING OF THE SQUIRRELS!]]” as an 80K subscriber celebration video. It is later given a CallBack in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6xX5LANn5Y THE KING OF THE SQUIRRELS RETURNS]] after he underwent surgery. It was made as a way for Mark to ensure his subscribers that he was recovering well.
--> '''Markiplier:''' ''*Clutching his stomach as he runs*'' I'M--ow--KING OF--ow--THE SQUIRRELS! Ow...Ow...Ow... [[note]]Mark's hospital stay was to deal with intestinal blockage, hence the clutching his stomach.[[/note]]
* What do you get when Mark, Ryan, and Matt combine Photobooth with an ice bath? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3fATPJVCS4&ab_channel=Markiplier Gleeful, painful, sadistic fun!]]. And probably some of the [[CrossesTheLineTwice most hilariously horrifying]] [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams]] [[HellIsThatNoise you'll ever hear!]]

---> '''Mark:''' ''[reading tweet to Matthias]'' I'm white girl wasted.\\

---> '''Wade:''' I love the feeling of mac and cheese on my face.\\

---> '''Matthias:''' Ducks are bloodthirsty little beasts.\\

---> '''Mark:''' All I want for Christmas is popcorn.\\

---> '''Markiplier:''' Thanks for watching the Whisper Challenge. This has been a travesty from start to finish, but you can watch the other calamities we've done in the past through the links in the description below. ... If you wanna see more, god help you, I don't know.

---> '''Mark:''' If I lose I win, and if I win I win. That is how it works.\\

---> '''Mark:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell Red is up your butt and around the corner, so go screw yourself!]]\\

* Since Mark wasn't able to beat ''Ghost Supermarket'', he [[https://youtu.be/RbmYiWTvkOs?t=6m56s made a sketch]] to sate our curiosity about how the game ends. Cue Mark acting out the game's events in the most dramatic way imaginable, with Ryan and Matt as supermarket greeter ghosts.

* After returning to his channel after a month-long hiatus and fresh off from ''Who Killed Markiplier?'', his first uploads are... a series of vlogs revolving around him [[https://youtu.be/N1K3zaETNto buying a van]] and apparently living in it, including [[https://youtu.be/kigHpsHgwnE setting up a haunted house inside]]. His grand mission is to [[MundaneMadeAwesome make a journey to the nearest Cracker Barrel]], which is four-and-a-half hours away. It's as hilarious as it is unexpected.
** [[https://youtu.be/V3KHtjp8Reg When he finally gets there]], it’s implied that he stayed the whole night just waiting for Cracker Barrel to open its doors the next day. And when he gets his chicken and dumplings, he triumphantly poses on top of the van while holding it, only for him to spill his meal on the ground when he jumps down.
** [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DPATUEYfbec Markiplier’s Vintage Boutique]] has Mark leaving behind a bowl of mozzarella sticks given to him by Ethan... only for the audience[[note]]these videos are filmed from a first-person point of view, just like in “Who Killed Markiplier”[[/note]] to run back and grab the bowl. Mark attempting to market his products to fans is just as hilarious to see, especially when it comes to selling Ethan’s used shower curtain.
* Having all of Mark and company's stuff stolen after their cars were broken into? Not funny. Markiplier eating/kissing a party favour that Ethan was annoying him with at the end of the video a la ''WesternAnimation/LadyAndTheTramp''? Hilarious.
* Mark streams himself taking Korean lessons from "Momiplier". Toward the end he starts trolling her by using a word that means 'penis' in the example sentences instead of the similar-sounding word for 'magazine.' She gets him back by [[https://youtu.be/tefAeIXS7Go?t=1h9m18s revealing that the word is the one you'd use for a little boy's penis]], more like pee-pee or pecker -- between the revelation and the 'little dick' hand gestures she uses to accompany it, he breaks down in hysterics.

--->'''Mudder''': Well... maybe it needs more mud! ''[big grin]''\\
'''Wade''': ''[furious ThousandYardStare]''

* Mark's compilation "ONLY ~99 iQ INDIVIDUALS MAY WATCH" is a series of clips from his "Markiplier Makes" series in which Mark, Ethan, and Tyler say and do excessively stupid things. Moments of note include a stuffed-animal building session devolving into a whip fight, Ethan repeatedly making a huge mess by knocking things over, Mark calling Ethan "Ether", and Ethan's "friends" song.

* On Markiplier's 31st Birthday, he made [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOrRIxJ7oCo&ab_channel=Markiplier this.]] It shows Markiplier wishing himself a happy birthday, and requesting his fans to leave birthday wishes in the comments, all while he hysterically laughs at his dog's distraught looking face.

** Also, Mark misidentifies a clear powder he finds in the Russian [=MRE=], and thinks it's a tang-style drink powder. He pours it into a glass, drinks it... and realizes it adds absolutely no taste, smell, or anything else to the water. He then finds the ''actual'' drink powder, and nervously wonders what he just drank.

---> '''Mark''': It makes the sky blue! [[OhCrap That's a problem, that's a problem.]] ([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere quickly goes back inside]])

* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gys9oDZj-MY Smash or Pass: All 898 Pokémon]]". It's exactly what it sounds like -- 24 minutes of Mark scrolling through a long list of Franchise/{{Pokemon}}[[note]]up to and including Wyrdeer[[/note]] and deciding which ones he would smash, with little to no context or explanation. Some of his choices are... [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction strange]].

** Undeterred, [=MatPat=] then made another theory doubling down on the analysis, creating two final candidates: an elegant bird Pokémon with various features that Mark found attractive... and another one that's just a random mishmash of various Pokémon that Mark said "Smash" to, with [[ScrewYourself Mark's own face]] [[StylisticSuck (intentionally) badly photoshopped on]] to fit with his self-proclaimed narcissism. And sure enough, Mark reacted to this video as well, and gave his opinion... or rather, he didn't give a judgment ''at all'' on either of the two options, but instead photoshopped the bird Poké's face onto the mishmash and declared it a Smash.

** [[WebVideo/GameTheory MatPat]] posted a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDO7oDvL8aE theory]] of his own on just how Markiplier's brain functioned in this case, ending with combining all of his desirable traits to create him a perfect Pokemon. Markiplier brings the proceeds to full circle by [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJfoJbyHAaA Smash-or-Pass]]ing it. [[spoiler:It's a [[ShaggyDogStory pass]].]]
* Markiplier returns on Rosanna Pansino's Nerdy Nummies for their [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhaMqQfsrbY Five Night's at Freddy's Toy Freddy cake episode,]] naturally. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDpUB88QmnM The first time]] he was on the channel, also for a FNAF-themed episode, things went straightforward enough, this time...