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Changed line(s) 17,19 (click to see context) from:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_SwmGvlMqc#t=2m8s here.]]
--> Francis (deafly yelling): "DID THEY TELL YOU WHEN OUR VISION WOULD COME BACK?"
--> Reese (also yelling): "BOX SAID TWO DAYS!"
--> Francis (deafly yelling): "DID THEY TELL YOU WHEN OUR VISION WOULD COME BACK?"
--> Reese (also yelling): "BOX SAID TWO DAYS!"
to:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off a mass of fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind display winds down, Reese asks "How can you tell do we know which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_SwmGvlMqc#t=2m8s here.]]
-->Francis '''Francis (deafly yelling): "DID THEY TELL YOU yelling)''': DID IT SAY WHEN OUR VISION WOULD COME BACK?"
BACK?
-->Reese '''Reese (also yelling): "BOX yelling)''': BOX SAID TWO DAYS!"DAYS!
-->
-->
Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
--> Francis: "[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome TOTALLY WORTH IT!]]"
to:
--> Francis: "[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome '''Francis''': [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome TOTALLY WORTH IT!]]"IT!]]
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Changed line(s) 22,23 (click to see context) from:
* When Lois has just given birth, she tries losing her baby weight. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[ChubbyChaser Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
** Lois hadn't given birth just yet. She was still pregnant and trying to avoid ballooning up per her doctor's orders.
** Lois hadn't given birth just yet. She was still pregnant and trying to avoid ballooning up per her doctor's orders.
to:
* When Lois has just given birth, is pregnant, she tries losing to avoid ballooning up per her baby weight.doctor's orders. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[ChubbyChaser Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
** Lois hadn't given birth just yet. She was still pregnant and trying to avoid ballooning up per her doctor's orders.bacon!"
** Lois hadn't given birth just yet. She was still pregnant and trying to avoid ballooning up per her doctor's orders.
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** Lois hadn't given birth just yet. She was still pregnant and trying to avoid ballooning up per her doctor's orders.
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Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
* When Lois has just given birth, she tries losing her baby weight. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[{{BBW}} Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
to:
* When Lois has just given birth, she tries losing her baby weight. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[{{BBW}} [[ChubbyChaser Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
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**
-->'''Grandma Ida''': You do this to torture me? To hurt me?
-->'''Francis''': You don't like Christmas music?
-->'''Grandma Ida''': It sounds like the song they sang when they would run through the villages and throw the babies into the fire!
-->'''Francis''': They sang Jingle Bells?
-->'''Grandma Ida''': They sang ''something''.
-->'''Grandma Ida''': You do this to torture me? To hurt me?
-->'''Francis''': You don't like Christmas music?
-->'''Grandma Ida''': It sounds like the song they sang when they would run through the villages and throw the babies into the fire!
-->'''Francis''': They sang Jingle Bells?
-->'''Grandma Ida''': They sang ''something''.
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide her problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
to:
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide her problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.slam.
* The halloween episode, where the boys decide to launch a diaper off a giant slingshot. They start chanting "Diaper!" and then fire. All we get is a reaction shot as they stop chanting, and Francis says, "Uuugh! No more of those." The boys just silently nod in agreement.
* The halloween episode, where the boys decide to launch a diaper off a giant slingshot. They start chanting "Diaper!" and then fire. All we get is a reaction shot as they stop chanting, and Francis says, "Uuugh! No more of those." The boys just silently nod in agreement.
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** The epic fight between Malcom, dressed up as Uncle Sam with huge stilts, and the drunk guy played by Tim Stack who used to be Uncle Sam before getting fired, with a makeshift costume made of junk. Malcom tries to run away by jamming the stilts into two shopping carts to use as skates- and they promptly go in opposite directions, resulting in the ''ultimate'' groin pull split.
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Changed line(s) 49,50 (click to see context) from:
* the Bowling Episode, especially when the malcolms of both realities face the camera and say "I Love/haste bowling!"
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide he problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide he problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
to:
* the Bowling Episode, especially when the malcolms of both realities face the camera and say "I Love/haste Love/hate bowling!"
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hidehe her problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide
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Changed line(s) 49 (click to see context) from:
to:
* the Bowling Episode, especially when the malcolms of both realities face the camera and say "I Love/haste bowling!"
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide he problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
* Dewey's opera, which he composed based on Lois and Hal's fued over a larger bed which turns out being lois wanting to hide he problems with flatulence. Lois and Hal sit down along with almost everyone else they know, and say " I hope dewey doesn't embarrass himself." cue the episode ending door slam.
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
* From 'Stilts'
to:
* From 'Stilts'''Stilts'', Reese decides to sign up for multiple drug tests in order to make money, completely oblivious to the fact that mixing numerous, untested drugs '''is a bad thing'''. He calls Francis, completely out of his mind and hysterical, crying that he doesn't want to do drugs anymore after he did something bad. We don't know how he did it, but he apparently stole a police horse.
Changed line(s) 30,36 (click to see context) from:
**
--> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
--> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
--> '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress!
--> '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party!
--> '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago! This is part of a lawnmower!
--> '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you!
--> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
--> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
--> '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress!
--> '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party!
--> '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago! This is part of a lawnmower!
--> '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you!
to:
-->
---> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone
-->
---> (''The shoppers all suddenly shift gear with an OhCrap look as Lois's smile still lingers'')
---> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
** It cuts back to this:
---> '''Hal''': And I purposefully dropped that bowling ball on your foot so you couldn't go to your high school reunion!
---> '''Lois''': I'm two years older than you think I am!
Changed line(s) 39,40 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!\
to:
--> '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!\
it!
* In ''New Neighbors'', Reese is being stalked by their neighbors' young daughter, who enjoys biting him. It gets to the point that Reese is conspiring ways to get her taken away from her parents just to get rid of her, culminating in him imagining that once she's in foster care, she'll bite her foster parents so much they'll abandon her at a gas station bathroom, at which point she'll be found be hillbillies and spend the rest of her life biting them.
** There's also Dewey's fear of the lawn gnome coming to life and eating him, after the neighbors' son lied to him about it. Through a number of contrived coincidences, the gnome keeps popping up around him and Dewey becomes paranoid.
---> '''Dewey''': The gnome is evil! It wants to eat me!
---> '''Lois''': They're all evil people, honey.
** Meanwhile, the son, a master of BlatantLies, has been getting Malcolm in trouble for no apparent reason, up to framing him as a peeping tom. When the police come by the house after Malcolm's falsely reported, Malcolm questions as to why he would bother peeping in this neighborhood since everyone's so boring. Hal counters with a slightly disturbing speech about how people peep solely for the power of invading the lives of others. The police officers look at Hal with a noticeably disturbed look when he finishes.
* In ''New Neighbors'', Reese is being stalked by their neighbors' young daughter, who enjoys biting him. It gets to the point that Reese is conspiring ways to get her taken away from her parents just to get rid of her, culminating in him imagining that once she's in foster care, she'll bite her foster parents so much they'll abandon her at a gas station bathroom, at which point she'll be found be hillbillies and spend the rest of her life biting them.
** There's also Dewey's fear of the lawn gnome coming to life and eating him, after the neighbors' son lied to him about it. Through a number of contrived coincidences, the gnome keeps popping up around him and Dewey becomes paranoid.
---> '''Dewey''': The gnome is evil! It wants to eat me!
---> '''Lois''': They're all evil people, honey.
** Meanwhile, the son, a master of BlatantLies, has been getting Malcolm in trouble for no apparent reason, up to framing him as a peeping tom. When the police come by the house after Malcolm's falsely reported, Malcolm questions as to why he would bother peeping in this neighborhood since everyone's so boring. Hal counters with a slightly disturbing speech about how people peep solely for the power of invading the lives of others. The police officers look at Hal with a noticeably disturbed look when he finishes.
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays in woods, crying out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.
to:
* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays lies down in woods, crying the woods and cries out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing from the darkness and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.
Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
* Francis comes home after dropping out of military school hoping that his parents will calmly be okay with it. He is mistaken when a furious Hal charges after him forcing Francis to climb a tree in a futile attempt to escape. Hal of all people!
to:
* Francis comes home after dropping out of military school hoping school, assuming that his parents will be calmly be okay with it. He is mistaken when it since they've had a furious week to absorb the news. Cue Hal charges after him forcing chasing Francis to climb a tree down the street in a futile attempt to escape. Hal of all people! murderous rage.
Changed line(s) 24,37 (click to see context) from:
* From 'Stilts'--->'''Reese:''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
---->'''Francis:''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese:''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis:''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
---> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
---> '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress!
---> '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party!
---> '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago! This is part of a lawnmower!
---> '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you!
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (ItMakesSenseInContext) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
---> '''Jessica:''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
----
---->'''Francis:''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese:''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis:''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
---> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
---> '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress!
---> '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party!
---> '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago! This is part of a lawnmower!
---> '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you!
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (ItMakesSenseInContext) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
---> '''Jessica:''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
----
to:
* From 'Stilts'--->'''Reese:''' 'Stilts'
-->'''Reese:''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
---->'''Francis:''' -->'''Francis:''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> --> '''Reese:''' All of them!!
---> --> '''Francis:''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> **
--> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
---> --> '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!
---> --> '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress!
---> --> '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party!
---> --> '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago! This is part of a lawnmower!
---> --> '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you!
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay(ItMakesSenseInContext) (ItMakesSenseInContext). When she needs to do the same to Reese...
---> --> '''Jessica:''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> --> '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
----it!\
-->'''Reese:''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
--> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex!
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay
----
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_SwmGvlMqc#t=2m8s here.]]
to:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_SwmGvlMqc#t=2m8s here.]]
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfaCcM1g5wQ here.]]
to:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.[[www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfaCcM1g5wQ com/watch?v=C_SwmGvlMqc#t=2m8s here.]]
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Changed line(s) 24,33 (click to see context) from:
* From 'Stilts' ---> '''Reese''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
----> '''Francis''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
---> '''Lois''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
---> '''Hal''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress.
---> '''Lois''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
---> '''Hal''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago. This is part of a lawnmower.
---> '''Lois''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you.
----> '''Francis''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
---> '''Lois''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
---> '''Hal''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress.
---> '''Lois''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
---> '''Hal''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago. This is part of a lawnmower.
---> '''Lois''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you.
to:
* From 'Stilts' ---> '''Reese''' 'Stilts'--->'''Reese:''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
----> '''Francis''' ---->'''Francis:''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
--->'''Reese''' '''Reese:''' All of them!!
--->'''Francis''' '''Francis:''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal''' *---> '''Hal:''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
sex!
--->'''Lois''' '''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
clubs!
--->'''Hal''' '''Hal:''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress.
dress!
--->'''Lois''' '''Lois:''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
party!
--->'''Hal''' '''Hal:''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago. ago! This is part of a lawnmower.
lawnmower!
--->'''Lois''' '''Lois:''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you. you!
--->
--->
--->
--->
--->
--->
--->
Changed line(s) 35,36 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jessica''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> '''Reese''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
---> '''Reese''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
to:
---> '''Jessica''' '''Jessica:''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
--->'''Reese''' '''Reese:''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
--->
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Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (for a XantosGambit that [[makes sense in context ItMakesSenseInContext]]) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
to:
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (for a XantosGambit that [[makes sense in context ItMakesSenseInContext]]) (ItMakesSenseInContext) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
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Added DiffLines:
* From 'Stilts' ---> '''Reese''' Francis, you've gotta help me! I don't wanna take drugs anymore!
----> '''Francis''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
---> '''Lois''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
---> '''Hal''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress.
---> '''Lois''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
---> '''Hal''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago. This is part of a lawnmower.
---> '''Lois''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you.
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (for a XantosGambit that [[makes sense in context ItMakesSenseInContext]]) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
---> '''Jessica''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> '''Reese''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
----> '''Francis''' Okay Reese, I want you to tell me, very specifically, what kind of drugs did you take?
---> '''Reese''' All of them!!
---> '''Francis''' Dude, didn't you learn anything from the time my friends babysat you and Richie tried to dry you off in the oven?
* ---> '''Hal''' I accidentally spent $800 on phone sex.
---> '''Lois''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs.
---> '''Hal''' I burned a hole in your favourite dress.
---> '''Lois''' You didn't get that promotion because I called your boss a fat-ass at the Christmas party.
---> '''Hal''' I lost my wedding ring three years ago. This is part of a lawnmower.
---> '''Lois''' Your Aunt Lucy isn't angry with you. She's dead, I just forgot to tell you.
* In the episode Pearl Harbour, it takes Jessica a long to time to convince Malcolm that Reese might be gay (for a XantosGambit that [[makes sense in context ItMakesSenseInContext]]) When she needs to do the same to Reese...
---> '''Jessica''' I didn't do it for myself, I did it for your brother.
---> '''Reese''' Malcolm's gay? I knew it!
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* Stevie has some great ones, but one of the best comes in an opening bit where Malcolm threatens him with a beating if he laughs at Malcolm's Shakespeare recital. Stevie's response?
--> "Bring it, >GASP< ''Homeo''"
--> "Bring it, >GASP< ''Homeo''"
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Changed line(s) 19,20 (click to see context) from:
* Reese cooks for Thanksgiving for the first time. He grabs the turkey barehanded before it got overcooked and tells Dewey to [[CompletelyMissingThePoint get those pot holders off the table]].
* When Reese is being pushed to the ground by the cops, in the background, [[BrickJoke you can see the Hamster Ball roll past.]]
* When Reese is being pushed to the ground by the cops, in the background, [[BrickJoke you can see the Hamster Ball roll past.]]
to:
* Reese cooks for Thanksgiving for the first time. He grabs the turkey barehanded before it got overcooked and tells Dewey Piama to [[CompletelyMissingThePoint get those pot holders off the table]].
* When Reese is being pushed to the ground by the cops, in the background, [[BrickJoke you can see the Hamster Ball roll past.]] ]]
* Francis comes home after dropping out of military school hoping that his parents will calmly be okay with it. He is mistaken when a furious Hal charges after him forcing Francis to climb a tree in a futile attempt to escape. Hal of all people!
* When Reese is being pushed to the ground by the cops, in the background, [[BrickJoke you can see the Hamster Ball roll past.
* Francis comes home after dropping out of military school hoping that his parents will calmly be okay with it. He is mistaken when a furious Hal charges after him forcing Francis to climb a tree in a futile attempt to escape. Hal of all people!
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** As a nice little bonus: After Hal is hospitalized, he lets out a huge fart. Malcolm then awkwardly tells his brothers that "The first one to laugh gets their ass kicked".
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* When Reese is being pushed to the ground by the cops, in the background, [[BrickJoke you can see the Hamster Ball roll past.]]
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* "Those aren't olives; those are ''peaches!''"
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* On the episode where Lois gets fired from her job at Lucky Aide because the store manager wouldn't take back the bottle of cognac Dewey accidentally shoplifted, Malcolm's family gets some food donations from the neighbors. Lois doesn't like it, commenting on how food donations are always bad. Hal doesn't believe her and asks anyone if they want some olives he found in a can. Lois's response: "Those aren't olives; those are ''peaches!''"
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* Hal and some other dads are in a class for bonding with their babies. After the instructor leaves they start having competitions involving the babies, which can spit up more, which can sit up on its own the longest, etc. eventually getting to them ''playing shuffleboard with the babies as the disks''. Lois and the rest of the family walk in at the exact time Hal is doing this. [[spoiler: He wins, and starts gloating. One of the kids then asks lois why she isn't yelling at him yet. Her response:]]
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* Hal and some other dads are in a class for bonding with their babies. After the instructor leaves they start having competitions involving the babies, which can spit up more, which can sit up on its own the longest, etc. eventually getting to them ''playing shuffleboard with the babies as the disks''. Lois and the rest of the family walk in at the exact time Hal is doing this. [[spoiler: He wins, and starts gloating. One of the kids then asks lois Lois why she isn't yelling at him yet. Her response:]]
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*Reese cooks for Thanksgiving for the first time. He grabs the turkey barehanded before it got overcooked and tells Dewey to [[CompletelyMissingThePoint get those pot holders off the table]].
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Added a new instance of the video, as the previous link lead to nothing.
Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 here.]]
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* The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 com/watch?v=JfaCcM1g5wQ here.]]
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* Hal and some other dads are in a class for bonding with their babies. After the instructor leaves they start having competitions involving the babies, which can spit up more, which can sit up on its own the longest, etc. eventually getting to them ''playing shuffleboard with the babies as the disks''. Lois and the rest of the family walk in at the exact time Hal is doing this. [[spoiler: He wins, and starts gloating. One of the kids then asks lois why she isn't yelling at him yet. Her response:]]
-->'''Lois''': See that goofy look on his face? I want to remember that look. We're not gonna be seeing it for a long time.
-->'''Lois''': See that goofy look on his face? I want to remember that look. We're not gonna be seeing it for a long time.
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* Malcolm comes to the couch with two sodas, and Reese goes through a {{I Know You Know I Know}} trying to figure out which one he shook up. Eventually he decides to just get a soda from the fridge...which promptly explodes on him.
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** And the follow-up where Francis leaves a whole army of these cards in her house after he left, causing her to go insane trying to tear up each one that begins its chime.
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
* ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' manages to get one in the fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 here.]]
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* ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' manages to get one in the The fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 here.]]
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays in woods, crying out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.
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* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays in woods, crying out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.hilarious.
* ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' manages to get one in the fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 here.]]
--> Francis (deafly yelling): "DID THEY TELL YOU WHEN OUR VISION WOULD COME BACK?"
--> Reese (also yelling): "BOX SAID TWO DAYS!"
--> ([[{{Beat}} beat]])
--> Francis: "[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome TOTALLY WORTH IT!]]"
* When Lois has just given birth, she tries losing her baby weight. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[{{BBW}} Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
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* ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' manages to get one in the fourth season episode "Boys at the Ranch", where Malcolm, Reese, and Francis are setting off fireworks at night. As the fireworks wind down, Reese asks "How can you tell which one's the Komodo 3000?" His question is answered a second later with a fireworks explosion so bright, it turns night into day for about five seconds. See the full clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J_lj8MAGx0 here.]]
--> Francis (deafly yelling): "DID THEY TELL YOU WHEN OUR VISION WOULD COME BACK?"
--> Reese (also yelling): "BOX SAID TWO DAYS!"
--> ([[{{Beat}} beat]])
--> Francis: "[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome TOTALLY WORTH IT!]]"
* When Lois has just given birth, she tries losing her baby weight. But Hal has just realised that he's a [[{{BBW}} Fat Admirer]], so he sabotages her diet attempts and secretly fattens her up instead. He stirs chocolate syrup into her tea and, when she buys celery, fries it in bacon grease. An hour later, she sits at the kitchen table telling him about how she's actually ''gained'' despite her diet, then stops and looks at the celery. {{Beat}}. Then she keeps chewing, telling him "My hormones are ''so'' screwed up! This celery tastes like bacon!"
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Added line(s) 5 (click to see context) :
* "Those aren't olives; those are ''peaches!''"
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* The montage when Hal, Dewey, and Reese decided to have fun with the wood chipper. They throw in plushies, watermelons, backpacks, all sorts of stuff, until finally, they walk up with a box of confetti and throw it in the wood chipper. Hal says, "...maybe we're running out of ideas here."
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* The montage when Hal, Dewey, and Reese decided to have fun with the wood chipper. They throw in plushies, watermelons, backpacks, all sorts of stuff, until finally, they walk up with a box of confetti and throw it in the wood chipper. Hal says, "...maybe we're running Obviously, we've run out of ideas here."ideas."
* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays in woods, crying out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.
* When Francis gets dumped by his "sweetheart" who he'd ditched military school to be with, he lays in woods, crying out in anguish. By itself, it wouldn't be funny, but then Dewey hears his agonized bellowing and starts throwing rocks at him, mistaking him for a monster. And then it's freakin' hilarious.
