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Changed line(s) 544 (click to see context) from:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]:''' Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up [[spoiler:a box of Boo Berry cereal]]) ([=VCR=] Taker Guy flinches)
to:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]:''' Murphy[[/note]]: Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up [[spoiler:a box of Boo Berry cereal]]) ([=VCR=] Taker Guy flinches)
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Changed line(s) 198 (click to see context) from:
** Jon listing off all the Pokémon enemies in the game. "You can see Beedrill, Porygon, Monkey, Mario Dinosaur, Poop, Abomination…"
to:
** Jon listing off all the Pokémon enemies in the game. "You can see Beedrill, Porygon, Monkey, Mario Dinosaur, Poop, Abomination…"Abomination�"
** Let's not forget this statement about the enemies:
-->'''Jon''': Cocaine is really popular with um... [[YouAllLookFamiliar the same guy]].
-->'''Jon''': Cocaine is really popular with um... [[YouAllLookFamiliar the same guy]].
Changed line(s) 725 (click to see context) from:
--> ''We’re sorry, [=@JonTronShow=] dropped an [=EchBomb=] on our server. We’re bolting everything down."
to:
--> ''We’re ''We�re sorry, [=@JonTronShow=] dropped an [=EchBomb=] on our server. We’re We�re bolting everything down."
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* A meta example in the comments, regarding the final game shown:
-->'''WebVideo/{{STAR}}''': You spoiled the big reveal. I'm America's 51st state.
-->'''WebVideo/{{STAR}}''': You spoiled the big reveal. I'm America's 51st state.
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Changed line(s) 661 (click to see context) from:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar instantaneously explodes into fireworks upon impact'' - and yes, this actually happened in the game!! As this text proves:
to:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat sheep driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar instantaneously explodes into fireworks upon impact'' - and yes, this actually happened in the game!! As this text proves:
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I know this probably wasn\'t meant to sound mean, but it could come off that way. Just be careful next time, \'kay?
Changed line(s) 641 (click to see context) from:
* The game's opening cutscene, which is probably worse than even ''Foodfight!'' (graphically ''and'' writing-wise), involves a librarian coercing an avid reader of the Bible about his idiotic thought process, before they ''all turn into animals''.
to:
* The game's opening cutscene, which is probably worse than even ''Foodfight!'' (graphically ''and'' writing-wise), involves a librarian coercing an avid reader of the Bible about his idiotic thought process, beliefs, before they ''all turn into animals''.
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Changed line(s) 667 (click to see context) from:
** "YOGURT'S TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON"
to:
** [[SuddenlyShouting "YOGURT'S TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON"MOON"]]
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Changed line(s) 629 (click to see context) from:
* His book pick of the month for Audible: FiftyShadesOfGray.
to:
* His book pick of the month for Audible: FiftyShadesOfGray.''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGray''.
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a book
Added DiffLines:
* His book pick of the month for Audible: FiftyShadesOfGray.
-->'''Jon''': "Oh crap. That's not the right book."
-->'''Jon''': "Oh crap. That's not the right book."
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Changed line(s) 475 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Jon:''' '''[[ContinuityNod "I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T-]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LIC8r9zf0U&t=0m18s -gonna take that sitting down]]'''
to:
--> '''Jon:''' '''[[ContinuityNod "I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T-]] [[https://www."'''[[ContinuityNod I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T-]]'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LIC8r9zf0U&t=0m18s -gonna take that sitting down]]''' down]]"
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* Jon finding the game was given a perfect score in Nintendo Power....and being uninformed about a Nightshade competition they hosted.
--> '''Jon:''' '''[[ContinuityNod "I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T-]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LIC8r9zf0U&t=0m18s -gonna take that sitting down]]'''
--> '''Jon:''' '''[[ContinuityNod "I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T-]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LIC8r9zf0U&t=0m18s -gonna take that sitting down]]'''
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* "A ''lot'' of these are [[FreudWasRight just a penis.]] I mean this one's just Franchise/SpiderMan's penis. Bombs away."
Added DiffLines:
** There's also how Jon introduces the console:
-->'''Jon:''' (in an announcer's tone) Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... a-are you sitting? [=GameFillip=].
-->'''Jon:''' (in an announcer's tone) Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... a-are you sitting? [=GameFillip=].
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None
Changed line(s) 645 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.\\
to:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64...VideoGame/SuperMario64... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.\\
Changed line(s) 648 (click to see context) from:
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon''': [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
to:
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon''': [[TheFlintstones [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones It's a living!]]a]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOdBUJXKQiE living!]]
** As Jon points out, there seems to be no actual goal of the game other than winning the race and watching Noah doing his magical firework dance.
** As Jon points out, there seems to be no actual goal of the game other than winning the race and watching Noah doing his magical firework dance.
Changed line(s) 651 (click to see context) from:
* Jon's song about the game.
to:
* Jon's song about the game.[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er9JY4M2X3Y "EVERYBODY'S UP FOR A NOAH PARTY"]]
Changed line(s) 653 (click to see context) from:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar instantaneously explodes into fireworks upon impact''
to:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar instantaneously explodes into fireworks upon impact''impact'' - and yes, this actually happened in the game!! As this text proves:
Changed line(s) 658 (click to see context) from:
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile.[[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]
to:
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile.[[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]moon.'''[[/note]]
** "YOGURT'S TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON"
** "YOGURT'S TAKIN' ME TO THE MOON"
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Changed line(s) 634 (click to see context) from:
* The game's opening cutscene, which is probably worse than even ''Foodfight!'', involves a librarian coercing an avid reader of the Bible about his idiotic thought process, before they ''all turn into animals''.
to:
* The game's opening cutscene, which is probably worse than even ''Foodfight!'', ''Foodfight!'' (graphically ''and'' writing-wise), involves a librarian coercing an avid reader of the Bible about his idiotic thought process, before they ''all turn into animals''.
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** The sad thing about this is that Jon's lyrics sound so much better than the song itself.
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Changed line(s) 653 (click to see context) from:
-->[-'''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''-]
to:
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** Followed by him declaring that he's gonna sit back and play a Nintendo game [[TemptingFate so he can have a well-deserved break]]. SmashCut to a scene of a horse climbing into a cannon and launching himself across the horizon.
-->'''Song''': ''~Because they're coming straight for you~''\\
''(cut back to Jon as the camera slowly zooms in on his face while [[WesternAnimation/ACharlieBrownChristmas "Christmas Time Is Here"]] plays in the background)''\\
'''Jon''': There's no rest for a [=JonTron=]... Is there?
-->'''Song''': ''~Because they're coming straight for you~''\\
''(cut back to Jon as the camera slowly zooms in on his face while [[WesternAnimation/ACharlieBrownChristmas "Christmas Time Is Here"]] plays in the background)''\\
'''Jon''': There's no rest for a [=JonTron=]... Is there?
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Changed line(s) 634 (click to see context) from:
* '''PHARAOH GOAT!'''
to:
* His creature party song is ''priceless''.
-->''Jewish rhino, top hat pig, dancin' lamb dunno he's about to get slaughtered, I don't know what that is on the right I think it might be a '''PHARAOHGOAT!'''GOAT'''!''
-->''Jewish rhino, top hat pig, dancin' lamb dunno he's about to get slaughtered, I don't know what that is on the right I think it might be a '''PHARAOH
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Jon''': So to make an example of my point, I'm gonna play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to worry about names back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBECHEV!"
to:
--> '''Jon''': So to make an example of my point, I'm gonna play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to worry about names try back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBECHEV!"GORBACHOV!"
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None
Changed line(s) 700,703 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
to:
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
Added DiffLines:
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 382 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Jon''': ''(referring to the Game Over screen of the second game, showing a sinking Titanic)'' I have never experienced a continue screen that made me feel that guilty! I mean, it's my fault that happened! ''I did the Titanic!''
to:
--> '''Jon''': ''(referring to the Game Over screen of the second first game, showing a sinking Titanic)'' I have never experienced a continue screen that made me feel that guilty! I mean, it's my fault that happened! ''I did the Titanic!''
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** That cutscene just has so many moments that fall into this, including the "[[SpecialEffectFailure hand of a defeated man]]", the '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome SICK BURN]]''' given to the Bible reader, and the Bible reader slowly popping up from behind his desk ''with drainage pipe sound effects''. Jon admitted he had been actually rendered [[SarcasmFailure completely speechless]] by that last one.
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The into isn\'t actually very long at all, or comparable to Foodfight really.
Changed line(s) 626,631 (click to see context) from:
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like they fuck you up dude.]]
* The intro to the game is long and it's animated like Foodfight, [[spoiler: but worse.]]
* When they [[spoiler: turn ''into'' animals:]]
--> '''"What else could ever happen to us today?" ~Horse'''
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like they fuck you up dude.]]
* The intro to the game is long and it's animated like Foodfight, [[spoiler: but worse.]]
* When they [[spoiler: turn ''into'' animals:]]
--> '''"What else could ever happen to us today?" ~Horse'''
to:
* The intro card thumbnail to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
creepy, depending on who you ask.
*Jon as he talks Jon's opening lines.
-->'''Jon''': It's Christmas time. A time tothe spend with friends, family and of course [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers little baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:'''JC over here]]! How you enjoying your birthday over there birthday, buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can now, I mean [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some some]] ''[[MoodWhiplash fucked up up]]'' [[MoodWhiplash shit to you! Like you]]! Like, they fuck ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
up, dude.
* Theintro to game's opening cutscene, which is probably worse than even ''Foodfight!'', involves a librarian coercing an avid reader of the game is long and it's animated like Foodfight, [[spoiler: but worse.]]
* WhenBible about his idiotic thought process, before they [[spoiler: ''all turn ''into'' animals:]]
--> '''"Whatinto animals''.
-->"What else could ever happen tous us, today?" ~Horse'''~Horse\\
'''Jon''': Lady, you just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
*
-->'''Jon''': It's Christmas time. A time to
-->'''Jon:'''
* The
* When
--> '''"What
-->"What else could ever happen to
'''Jon''': Lady, you just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
Changed line(s) 633,636 (click to see context) from:
* His reaction to the gameplay itself is literally just laughter.
* Also his reaction to his character falling.
--> ''(Pig falling showing his face at a very disturbing angle)''
--> '''Jon:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BOAT! ''(wild screams)'' Is this a glitch?! What the fuck!?
* Also his reaction to his character falling.
--> ''(Pig falling showing his face at a very disturbing angle)''
--> '''Jon:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BOAT! ''(wild screams)'' Is this a glitch?! What the fuck!?
to:
--> ''(Pig
--> '''Jon:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH
-->''(The camera adjusts to an uncomfortable view of the pig's face as he falls down the waterfall)''\\
'''Jon''': OOOOOOHHHHHHH, BOAT! ''(wild screams)'' Is this a glitch?! What the fuck!?
Changed line(s) 638,641 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64 ... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.
--> ''(cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory "cutscene" [[note]]if you can even '''call''' it that [[/note]], with a build up of Jon begging for it not to happen.
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon:''' [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
--> ''(cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory "cutscene" [[note]]if you can even '''call''' it that [[/note]], with a build up of Jon begging for it not to happen.
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon:''' [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
to:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64 ... 64... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.
--> ''(cutthat.\\
''(Cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory"cutscene" [[note]]if "cutscene"[[note]]If you can even '''call''' ''call'' it that [[/note]], that[[/note]], with a build up of Jon begging for it not to happen.
--> ''(looks into the camera)'''''Jon:''' '''Jon''': [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
--> ''(cut
''(Cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory
--> ''(looks into the camera)''
Changed line(s) 646,647 (click to see context) from:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar explodes instantaneously upon impact''
--> '''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''
--> '''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''
to:
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar explodes instantaneously explodes into fireworks upon impact''
--> '''REMINDER: -->[-'''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''HAPPENING'''-]
Changed line(s) 651,652 (click to see context) from:
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile. [[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]
* Jon calling the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. [[spoiler: They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide'']]
* Jon calling the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. [[spoiler: They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide'']]
to:
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile. [[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]
*Jon calling The ending: [[spoiler:Jon calls the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. [[spoiler: They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide'']]''worldwide''.]]
*
Changed line(s) 712 (click to see context) from:
to:
----
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* Jon poking fun at Noah's position at the end of a race:
--> '''Jon:''' ''(as Noah)'' All the gold is yours now! Also I'm the Lincoln Memorial with gold or banana peels! The graphics aren't good enough to tell! ...you still get to stare at my dick though.
* Jon's song about the game.
* Jon questions the game's affiliation with God.
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar explodes instantaneously upon impact''
--> '''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''
* Jon pondering what the parents of the game's creator had to do to him so that he could create a game like this.
* Jon trying to sing a song about the in-game environment.
--> '''Jon:''' ''(singing)'' I don't even know what the fuck is your problem, there's a cocaine police boat! ...FROM MIAMI. But that's OK, 'cause WHY NOT? I did a bunch of coke before I made this game!
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile. [[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]
* Jon calling the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. [[spoiler: They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide'']]
--> '''Jon:''' ''(as Noah)'' All the gold is yours now! Also I'm the Lincoln Memorial with gold or banana peels! The graphics aren't good enough to tell! ...you still get to stare at my dick though.
* Jon's song about the game.
* Jon questions the game's affiliation with God.
* Jon's ascending to Heaven to ''his goat driving a flying steam train into a John 3:16 billboard where each boxcar explodes instantaneously upon impact''
--> '''REMINDER: ACTUALLY HAPPENING'''
* Jon pondering what the parents of the game's creator had to do to him so that he could create a game like this.
* Jon trying to sing a song about the in-game environment.
--> '''Jon:''' ''(singing)'' I don't even know what the fuck is your problem, there's a cocaine police boat! ...FROM MIAMI. But that's OK, 'cause WHY NOT? I did a bunch of coke before I made this game!
* Jon just trying his best to find the words to his reaction of a goat riding a missile. [[note]]And then his reaction to the fact they're '''heading towards the moon'''[[/note]]
* Jon calling the United States Government so they could cancel Christmas. [[spoiler: They put him on hold to transfer him to the governments of other countries so he can cancel Christmas ''worldwide'']]
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None
Changed line(s) 628,629 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
to:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' they fuck you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE* The intro to the game is long and it's animated like Foodfight, [[spoiler: but worse.]]
* When they [[spoiler: turn ''into'' animals:]]
--> '''"What else could ever happen to us today?" ~Horse'''
* '''PHARAOH GOAT!'''
* His reaction to the gameplay itself is literally just laughter.
* Also his reaction to his character falling.
--> ''(Pig falling showing his face at a very disturbing angle)''
--> '''Jon:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BOAT! ''(wild screams)'' Is this a glitch?! What the fuck!?
* Jon commenting on the graphics:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64 ... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.
--> ''(cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory "cutscene" [[note]]if you can even '''call''' it that [[/note]], with a build up of Jon begging for it not to happen.
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon:''' [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
* When they [[spoiler: turn ''into'' animals:]]
--> '''"What else could ever happen to us today?" ~Horse'''
* '''PHARAOH GOAT!'''
* His reaction to the gameplay itself is literally just laughter.
* Also his reaction to his character falling.
--> ''(Pig falling showing his face at a very disturbing angle)''
--> '''Jon:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BOAT! ''(wild screams)'' Is this a glitch?! What the fuck!?
* Jon commenting on the graphics:
--> '''Jon:''' Ya know, this almost looks like Super Mario 64 ... I think I should slap myself just for saying that.
--> ''(cut to his character going down a slide as the Super Mario 64 Secret Slide song plays in the background)''
* The victory "cutscene" [[note]]if you can even '''call''' it that [[/note]], with a build up of Jon begging for it not to happen.
--> ''(looks into the camera)'' '''Jon:''' [[TheFlintstones It's a living!]]
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None
Changed line(s) 625 (click to see context) from:
to:
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
Changed line(s) 673,678 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
to:
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 670 (click to see context) from:
to:
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
[[/folder]]
Deleted line(s) 681,688 (click to see context) :
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
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[[/folder]]
to:
[[folder:Zoo Race]]
* The intro card to this review is either really funny or really creepy.
* Jon as he talks to the baby Jesus:
-->'''Jon:''' How you enjoying your birthday over there buddy? You ain't go much time left, so live it up while you can [[MoodWhiplash I mean they do some fucked up shit to you! Like the ''fuck'' you up dude.]]
SOMEONE HELP FILL THIS OUT FOR ME PLEASE
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-->'''Jon''': Oh, and of course, don't forget everyone's favourite crime fighting alliance, "Sense of Right"! Everyone's here! ComicBook/{{Batman}}, ComicBook/{{Superman}}, Sh-WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}? A ''WesternAnimation/{{car|s}}''...? ''Ohhh noooo...''
to:
-->'''Jon''': Oh, and of course, don't forget everyone's favourite crime fighting alliance, "Sense of Right"! Everyone's here! ComicBook/{{Batman}}, ComicBook/{{Superman}}, Sh-WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}? A ''WesternAnimation/{{car|s}}''...? ''Ohhh ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Ohhh noooo...'']]''
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Added DiffLines:
Funny moments from "Season 2" of ''WebVideo/JonTron''. For the main index, see [[Funny/JonTron here]].
[[foldercontrol]]
----
!!Full Episodes
[[folder:Hercules Games]]
* At the start of Hercules Games, Jon is talking about Hercules. It then cuts to him playing a Disney Tarzan game.
--> '''Jon''': I'm playing a game based on my favorite Greek legend, Heracles!"
--> [Cut to Disney's Tarzan start screen on the television, an instrumental of Two Worlds playing in the background]
-->'''Jacques''': I'm glad to see nothing has changed around here.
-->'''Jon''': ''(Singing the Tarzan theme)'' Two worlds, one family...
-->'''Jacques''': Fuck this shit.
-->'''Jon''': (Heavily slurred) ''SON O' MAN LOOK TOOOO THE SKY'' *Jacques explodes*
* Also, Jacques delivering a laser-guided TakeThat to Jon.
-->'''Jon''': I don't wanna stop playing games, or doin' the things I love to do with you, or even making this show!
-->'''Jacques''': [[SarcasmMode Hasn't stopped you before.]][[note]]It was a whopping ''eight months'' between Jon's review of ''SpaceAce'' and this one.[[/note]]
-->'''Jon''': I want to become immortal, too, Jacques, just like Hercules: by playing the ''twelve games of Herc''- [[LateToThePunchLine wait]], what'd you fuckin' just say to me? ''[Stares]''
* His introduction to the first game.
--> '''Jon''': So to make an example of my point, I'm gonna play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to worry about names back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBECHEV!"
* His reaction to the shuffling skeleton enemy in one of the games.
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I'll get my suuuuuu-orrrd for you]], [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_DeVito Danny]]."
** "We're all livin' the human condition, [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/08e70254e92b74efa109023a34eeeb6e/tumblr_mtnlqrSGRz1s3e8j2o1_1280.png but he is speakin' it.]]"
* Zeus' warning of Hades and his minions.
-->'''Zeus''': Hades has many allies. In fact, there a couple of hundred of them just up ahead.
-->'''Jon''': Couple of what of them?
-->'''Zeus''': Couple of hundred of them.
-->'''Jon''': Couple of hundred of them?
-->'''Zeus''': '' '''COUPLE OF HUNDRED OF THEM''' '' just up ahead.
* This moment:
--> '''Hades:''' ''[very quietly]'' ᴴᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉ⋅⋅⋅ᴵ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ᵈᵉᶠᵉᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ⋅ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵉᶰ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
--> '''Jon:''' Excuse me, Hades? Would you mind speaking up a bit?
--> '''Hades:''' ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
--> '''Jon:''' "ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅" ''[{{Beat}}]'' ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʰᵒʷ ʰᵉ ''ᵗᵃᶫᵏˢ''⋅
* [[FreezeFrameBonus The Star Wars-like text crawl]].
** HilariousInHindsight as well, when you consider the game is made by Lucasarts which explains the inclusion of the Force theme in the game's soundtrack.
*** Hindsight nothin', [[FailedASpotCheck it said so in the very title screen of the game.]]
* Jon finds out Herc can eat [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyro_(food) gyros]] to get stronger. He goes into an epic opera-ballad about going to buy a gyro from a local Greek food stall. It then cuts to this.
--> '''Jon:''' Ugh...my stomach...
--> '''Offscreen:''' Dude, are you all right?
--> '''Jon:''' Dude, SHUT UUUUUUP.
* Jon explaining why he doesn't want to play Herc's Adventures as Atlanta or Jason.
--> '''Jon:''' One's a...city in Georgia, ''THE OTHER'S A REGULAR NAME!''
* Jon's analysis of people saying they only talk to sailors:
-->'''Jon''': Well if ''that's'' the case, then you're probably gonna be pretty much limiting yourself to port towns honestly, and ''even then'' they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you, also '''what the fuck, ''who says that?'''''
-->'''Jon''': Okay, first of all, what kind of occupation is ''stroller?'' What kind of town is this? How did anyone learn ''speech'' if everyone only talks to sailors and there''' ''AIN'T NO SAILORS 'ROUND TOWN?'''''
* Hercules Does What [[Creator/{{Nintendo}} Nintend]]ercules.
** [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Then a sports car randomly crashes into the text and explodes into flames.]]
* Jon's reactions to Phil from the PS1 Disney/{{Hercules}} game apparently spouting gibberish at one point (including trying to phonetically spell it out with captions.)
* Jon getting killed in the first five seconds of the first Commodore 64 game.
-->'''Jon''': *blank smile* ...'''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]'''
** [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Look closely]] at Jacques at that moment. It looks like he is biting Jon's ear. It could be why he was making that sound.
* "Hercules! Remember the scent of Mother!"
* "Hercules! Beware of Spite and Jealousy!"
* Jon tries playing a Commodore 64 cassette game in a cassette player. It plays loud static as Jon stares ahead with the caption [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer (ACTUAL NOISE IT MADE)]] at the bottom of the screen.
* Jon's claims that the games he's reviewing just appear in his house, and the increasing worry in his voice every time he switches from game to game.
-->'''Jon''': And it's all thanks to- [[ManipulativeEditing The Military Industrial]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Compelx]].
** "''THESE GAMES JUST KEEP SHOWING UP IN MY HOUSE WHEN I'M SLEEPING, MAN.''"
* Jon talking about how a random NPC is too busy to throw out his seemingly dead cat, while constantly cutting to the NPC in question [[ADateWithRosiePalms rapidly jerking his arm up and down in a way that looks like he's masturbating]].
* Jon's description of one game's Hercules' walk animation:
-->''"He looks like [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Eric Cartman]] trying to cut a jig!"'' '''*Proceeds to cut a jig of his own*'''
* Jon noticing that the Legend of Hercules game looks an awful lot like another game.
-->'''Jon:''' Should have just called it [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime The Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of Time]] if you catch my cold! Achoo!
* "DEAR KIDS: [[DrivenToSuicide PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELVES]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice AND THEN SUE ME"]]
* Jon Googling "Is Hercules on the Commodore 64 supposed to suck balls".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Goosebumps: Part 1]]
* The pumpkin with a goofy-looking face drawn on it.
* Jon's candy corn masterpiece: [[spoiler:[[ShapedLikeItself a pile of candy corn]]]]
* Jon trying to share the Halloween spirit with everyone.
-->'''Jon:''' *Goes outside* Hey everybody! Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
-->'''Cabbie:''' ''Outta the way, asshole!''
-->'''Jon:''' Jesus!
* Jon counting in Jacques:
-->'''Jon:''' Okay. [[LiteralMinded One.]]
-->'''Jacques:''' [[FlatWhat What even.]]
-->'''Jon:''' [[DontExplainTheJoke I counted you in]]-
-->'''Jacques:''' '''Go to fucking hell.'''
* Jon's introduction of the Goosebumps book series, listing off some of the more notable stories, such as...
-->'''Jon:''' ''The Haunted School...The Headless Ghost! Y'CAN'T SKYEH ME! DEGHEUGHEUCLAKEVDOOM! Why I'm Afraid of Bees--well, that's obvious, innit? PIANA LESSONS CAN BE MOIDAH. The Beast...From the East...? Like, are we talkin', like, Asia, or Philadelphia?''
* Being excited about seeing the show again, [[TemptingFate hoping it will be as good as he remembers]]:
--> (Jon turns on the TV, the scene of [[spoiler:Spidey falling off the stairs]] from "Say Cheese and Die!" is shown)
-->'''Jon:''' [[ThisIsGoingToSuck Okay, it's horrible!]]
* Jon's bucket list:
-->[x] Make fun of a kids show.
-->[_] [[CrossesTheLineTwice Laugh at the disabled.]]
--> '''Jon:''' "Man, I am just ''blazing'' through these!"
* [[AchievementsInIgnorance Jon's wonders in technology don't just apply to games]]: He's able to watch "Don't Go To Sleep!" by [[spoiler:shoving the book into his NES]].
-->'''Jon:''' Get that in there; you gotta do it- you gotta do like a taco, 's a method.
* After Matt's mom says he won't be 12 forever:
-->'''Jon:''' ''Or will he?'' (dances to Spooky Scary Skeletons)
** Earlier, after Matt's mom shuts down his request to sleep in the attic: "'''You dirty bitch!'''"
* Jon noticing [[ItMakesSenseInContext the dick-flashlight]].
* "''[[DutchAngle Someone wake up the camera man.]]''"
* His attempts to decipher the hockey coach's rambling.
-->'''Jon:''' We have Hockey Coach Man over here just makin'- OH! -just m-makin' a scene for everyone to enjoy!
** TEN MILLION DOLLARS
** [[Franchise/HarryPotter AVADA KEDAVRA]]
** "Get blown out there, don't be like that guy, [[{{Mondegreen}} fucks like a little kid out there]]." *[[ItMakesSenseInContext Non Specific Orgasm]]*
** Not to mention his theory concerning his acting:
--->'''Jon:''' I feel like they gave this guy specific lines, but he just said "[[TheyJustDidntCare Fuck it.]]" and did whatever he wanted and they were like "(mumbling) Lunch break, (mumbling) [[TheyJustDidntCare I don't care, just leave it.]]"
*** It's even funnier if you know the hockey coach is played by Don Cherry, a real life hockey commentator in Canada known for being controversial and being difficult to censor. So Jon's theory probably isn't that far off.
* Jon's growing confusion over the different alternate realities Matt jumps into.
* [[BerserkButton "IN TROUBLE" IS NOT A LOCATION.]]
** Supplemented by his attempt at drawing out being "In Trouble".
* Jon takes on the use of cinematography in the Reality Court.
--> '''Judge:''' ''[face in extreme close up]'' Will the defendant please rise?
--> '''Jon:''' ''[face also in extreme close up]'' If the judge backs up a bit.
* "''I'll be the judge of that.''" [[FauxHorrific TRUE]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NATtwV2SDOM HORROR]]
* '''17 LIFE SENTENCES!! 5 LETHAL INJECTIONS!! ''TEN DECADES'' OF FAMILIAL SHAME!!''' Just for [[spoiler:[[DisproportionateRetribution hating reality]]]].
* His idea of what the moral of the episode is:
-->'''Jon''': The moral of this story is "Never think, or else [[SpaceWhaleAesop the secret police might catch you and kill you no matter what]]." ([[BerserkButton beyond pissed]]) It's good for the kids, '''''it's good for the adults!'''''
* "Jon, can you feel it? Magic is in the air. I'm going back in." *unintelligble noises*
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Goosebumps: Part 2]]
* Once again, Jon is able to watch the Goosebumps episodes by [[spoiler:shoving them into various video game consoles; he watches My Hairy Adventure by inserting it into his Super Nintendo, and Ghost Beach by shoving it into his Dreamcast.]]
* Jon doesn't like Larry.
-->'''Jon:''' (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. You jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
* [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment Jon shooing away a hand coming at him out of nowhere as he attempts to]] [[spoiler:[[BigLippedAlligatorMoment put Ghost Beach into his Dreamcast]]]][[BigLippedAlligatorMoment .]]
* ''Stroke that cat.'' '''''STROKE THAT CAT.'''''
* The re-edit of Larry Boyd looking at his... er... "new hair."
-->'''Larry:''' ''[screaming]'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-''
-->'''Jon:''' ''[singing, holding operatically on a high C note]'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-''
-->''(An FBI warning screen spoof pops up with a sustained off-air bleep)''
-->''['''YOU SICK FUCK''': This program has been suspended indefinitely.]''
* This moment is disturbing as hell, but also hilarious
--> "Can't a guy get [[NightmareFuel SOME]] [[VoiceOfTheLegion PRIVACY!?]] [[ActingUnnatural HMM HMM HMM, HMM HMM HMM]]" *said as he stabs something or someone*
* "The moral of the story is real good on this one - it's [[LostAesop 'Don't be unlucky and be a dog.']] ... '''''Thassa good one.'''''"
* Jon's reaction to one of the kids from Ghost Beach in a monster costume.
--> '''Jon''': Aw geez, it's WhoopiGoldberg!
* Jon's GilliganCut reaction to the creepy skeleton faces on Ghost Beach:
-->'''Terri:''' *screams*
-->'''Jon:''' Oh come on, Terri, lighten up, what are you screaming at?
-->'''Louisa:''' [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111209213556/goosebumps/images/thumb/a/a8/Ghostbeach_7.jpg/500px-Ghostbeach_7.jpg Stay with us, cousins!]]
-->'''Jon:''' [[http://puu.sh/54lzc.png AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!]]
* Just like the last Halloween special, evil scary forces don't faze Jon.
-->'''Jon:''' I'm going to enjoy this Halloween even if it ''kills'' me.
-->'''Pumpkin:''' (distorted voice) '''''And it WILL kill you, Mr. Tron!'''''
-->'''Jon:''' (pissed) ''[[UnfazedEveryman Shut up scary jack-o-lantern, I don't give a fuck about your shit right now!]]''
-->'''Pumpkin:''' (slightly embarrassed) [[SincerityMode I'm sorry man, I didn't really realize you were going through a thing like that.]]
-->'''Jon:''' (calmer) That's okay, just... think about how I feel next time, maybe.
* Jon compliments the nature of the Goosebumps series while mutilating the books in various fashions.
* STOP! ''STOP!'' '''''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi8za2kTJDs STOP!]]'''''
* The "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer undoctored footage]]" of the enthusiastic keyboard kid.
* Jon noticing how excited Larry is about the Instant Tan Lotion.
-->'''Jon as Larry:''' (creepy voice) MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Home Alone]]
* The start of the review:
-->'''Jon''': Nothing like the smell of nog on Christmas Eve, eh Jacques?
-->'''Jacques''': [[EverythingIsRacist That's racist.]]
** Prior to this, we have Jon preparing his drink by cracking an egg over a glass of eggnog and using the shell as a garnish.
* Jacques' [[LiteralMinded interpretation]] of the term 'get nuts'.
** Hearing Jacques' MachineMonotone voice saying "Hell yeah, boyee! Let's get nuts!"
** There's also the adorable "Oopsie" when Jacques drops his nut.
* Jon cooking nuts.
-->'''Jon:''' ''(singing)'' [[Music/LouisArmstrong I see friends shakin']]-
-->''(A nut explodes, creating a loud pop and sparks)''
-->'''Jon:''' Jesus! ''(Continues singing)'' [[SoundtrackDissonance/WhatAWonderfulWorld Singing how do]]-
-->''(Another nut explodes)''
-->'''Jon:''' Fuck!
** Then later (a few ''[[BrickJoke days]]'', [[spoiler:or not]], later) Another nut explodes.
-->'''Jon:''' AH! What is it with these [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] nuts?!
* Jon's analysis of the [[http://howismyface.com/download/Home_Alone_Boy1.jpg Home Alone face]] throughout each of the movies.
** Following this, Jon's [[InsaneTrollLogic insistence]] that "Home Alone 5: Holiday Heist" is a masterpiece. ''Because'' it has one of the best instances of the face.
* Jon's reaction to when the robbers start going exclusively after Kevin.
-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS HE'S IN MY HOUSE! Okay, so that's terrifying. In the movies, the villains are in it for the valuables, but here they seem to be only interested in Kevin. Where's Chris Hanson and that suspiciously benign plate of cookies when you need'em?
* After Kevin gets caught, the Game Over screen is merely a cloud that says "Oh no!"
-->'''Jon:''' Ah, yeah. That's just- that's just about right! That's appropriate, a boy is captured and will likely be found dead in the coming weeks, and all you got is "Oh no." That's good, it's a good message.
-->''(A newspaper appears with horrifying music, headline reading BOY FOUND IN SHALLOW GRAVE while the picture is the "Oh no!")''
* "I dunno, waddya put on goiter? '''SAAAAAAAAALVE!?''' (Beat) (begins rubbing arm) '''SAAAAAAAAAA-'''
* Jon's sudden excitement at being able to powerslide in-game, and getting caught up trying to name powerslide scenes.
-->'''Jon''': Yeah! Pete Townshend! RiskyBusiness! End Of Platoon! [{{Beat}}] Risky Business again!
* Jon's insistence that the elderly woman enemy from the NES ''Home Alone 2'' game is [[{{WMG}} a witch]]. Why? [[spoiler:[[InsaneTrollLogic Her jump arch is a parabola.]]]]
-->'''Jon''': Only a witch can pull off a [[spoiler:parabola]] of this nature.
** Jon's pronunciation of witches: "HHOI-tches!"
* The cartoonish mobster in the SNES version.
-->'''Jon:''' Who is this cartoon mobster here, and why does nobody care that he's in my house? Is he just a weird family member? Is he my dad? Is that my- Is that my game dad?
* The sound the water gun makes in the SNES version of the game.
* Jon saying the mobster in the Game Boy Home Alone game becomes MichaelJackson Moonwalker when you shoot him, complete with 16-bit Smooth Criminal.
* Jon pointing out the high-as-balls teddy bear in Home Alone 2 for the SNES.
* Home Alone on the PS2, with its atrocious artwork and little connection to the film.
-->'''Jon:''' Oh! OH! Are you serious? Is that something that someone who calls them-self a professional artist made and handed it to their boss and the boss went "Yeah, that looks good, do that."
-->"Yeah, that looks good, do that." -Someone bad at life
-->'''Jon:''' Don't you remember these iconic characters from the film? Kelly? Carl? Carly? My-My favorite scene with them was this one.
-->''(Explosions)''
* How the review ends: after Jon finds some ''good'' Home Alone games[[note]]the Sega Genesis ones to be exact[[/note]], Jon tries to wake up Culkin from the stove corn... only for [[FridgeBrilliance a realization to occur]]:
-->'''Jon''': ...[[spoiler:[[MushroomSamba shit, I hallucinated]] [[AllJustADream all that,]] [[RealityEnsues didn't I]]]]... ([[NoEnding hard cut to black]])
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bootleg Pokemon Games]]
* His reaction to a pretty creepy-looking, vaguely crustacean enemy in "Pocket Monsters" AKA "Pokémon: Pikachu Edition" AKA "Picachu" (sic).
** [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Keep going, Pikachu...or it's back in the ball for you."]]
** "It's hot."
** Jon listing off all the Pokémon enemies in the game. "You can see Beedrill, Porygon, Monkey, Mario Dinosaur, Poop, Abomination…"
** [[TheThreeStooges Curly Howard,]] is that you? Did you come back? Did you come back from the ground mausoleum?
* His excitement for Pokémon Adventure on the GameBoyColor until he finds out what the game is actually like.
--> '''"IT'S SONIC!!!"'''
** To clarify, Pokémon Adventure is a ''hack of a hack'' (Sonic Adventure 7).
---> '''Jon''': Yeah. What happened to-- What happened to 3 through 6!?
** He realizes that this could be "the world's very first double-hack", and proceeds to act out the "double-hacking" by [[HollywoodHacking typing on two computers at once]]...[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything and looking a little TOO pleased with it]].
---> '''Jacques''': Warning, Jon. You are in danger of reaching hack capacity.
** "Welcome to the game. That's the one thing you can see. Fuck you."
* His theory on how ''VideoGame/{{Moemon}}'' came to be, which CrossesTheLineTwice:
--> "Do you realize that for this to happen, someone had to sit down, look at Pokémon and say, 'Y'know, this is great, but it needs more [[{{Lolicon}} little girls]]. I'm gonna go downstairs in my basement now, next to my little girl dungeon, and program this game.' Welcome to planet Earth, ladies and gentlemen."
* During the review of Pokémon Diamond[[labelnote:*]]Not the [[PokemonDiamondAndPearl Pokémon Diamond]] you are thinking of[[/labelnote]] and Jade, Jon notices an...interesting formation in the trees in one part of the game. He suspects that it might be the guy who made ''VideoGame/{{Moemon}}''.
--> '''Jon''': Talk about rockin' out with your cock out!
* Pokémon Crystal Vietnamese Version. The [[BlindIdiotTranslation Blind Idiot Translations]] are astounding.
* Jon's reaction to the scoreboard on "Picadance".
--> '''Jon''': Oh, not to mention every single high score on this game is [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution DDR, DDR, DDR, DDR,]] [[TheyJustDidntCare didn't bother to hide it,]] DDR, didn't bother to hide it, VideoGame/PacMan, DDR, [[MadnessMantra lose, lose, LOSE, LOSE,]] '''[[MadnessMantra LOSE, LOSE!!]]'''
* What about the EpisodeTitleCard itself? It's Jon [[HonestJohnsDealership hiding Pokéballs and cartridges under a coat.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Foodfight!]]
* Jon's framing device for ''{{WesternAnimation/Foodfight}}'' is a parody of film noir, with Dex's face inexplicably in a heart-shaped locket. [[spoiler:Jon later lampshades that he made the locket despite not liking the movie.]]
* How he finds the DVD...
-->'''Jon:''' How long have you had this thing?
-->'''Clerk:''' One million year.
-->'''Jon:''' I'll take it!
* As soon as Jon opens the DVD, the disembodied head of Creator/CharlieSheen pops out and projected the movie into the TV while quoting from [[MemeticMutation his infamous 2011 interview]].
* Jon's frustration at the movie doing a joke about Mr. Clean getting dirty before the intro is even over.
* Jon's list of Daredevil Dan's character traits: "broken motion capture and [[TakeThat making Wayne Brady seem like he's not an actor]]".
* [[TakeThat "That's the only 10 this movie's gettin'."]]
* Jon trying to stop the movie viewing by [[MundaneSolution unplugging the TV]]. The plug just [[YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle re-plugs itself]] back into the outlet, much to Jon's displeasure.
* Dan crying chocolate, with [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer emphasis placed on the sound of his gooey tears and his sobbing]].
-->'''Jon:''' ''(clipped recording)'' '''''Am I dead yet?'''''
* How Jon handles the timeskip deserves a mention:
-->'' '''Daredevil Dan''': Don't worry, it ain't like [[TemptingFate its the last time we're ever gonna see Sunshine again.]]''
-->'''Jon''': ... [[GenreSavvy That's the last time we're seeing Sunshine isn't it.]]
-->''' '' SIX MONTHS LATER '' '''
-->'''Jon''': ''Ah GHKCHH--''
* "Is this like ToyStory rules? Or is this like TheFountain rules? Where there's no rules?" (Back to Jon) "Oh God help us, I think this is Fountain rules!"
* Daredevil Dan's legs. "It's like if FDR came back to life and [[CrossesTheLineTwice tried to show everyone what legs do]]."
** Hell, any time he points out the films {{Special Effect Failure}}s.
* His reaction to Cheasel T. Weasel.
-->'''Jon:''' '''''OH, [[SoundEffectBleep *beep* *beep*]], CO-[[SoundEffectBleep *beep* *beep*]]!''''' ...is that a poop rat? Is that a f[[SoundEffectBleep *beep*]]in' poop rat?
-->'''Cheasel:''' ''[Later, in an incredibly-uncomfortable close-up]'' ...you despise me, don't you?
-->'''Jon:''' '''''BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! STRANGER DANGER!'''''
* Jon tries to protect Jacques' eyes from seeing breasts on a bird, but Jacques protests.
--->'''Jacques:''' You monster. Let me see those melons!
* He reacts to the film's emphasis on product placement by [[HypocriticalHumor inserting some product placement of his own.]]
* [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment The skit]] where [[{{WebVideo/Continue}} Paul Ritchey]] emerges from the DVD, and is followed by an aggressively clean Mr. Clean (played by BrentalFloss).
-->'''Paul''': Oh, God! It's him, it's ''him!'' ... NO! That's what he does! He raises your level of cleanliness to ''impossible'' levels of upkeep! ... Banana split, let's blow this Popsicle stand! Kumquats, I don't know, whatever!
--> ''(sprints out of Jon's house, chased by Mr. Clean)''
-->'''Jon''': (after both men leave) [[UnfazedEveryman Well, that just sorta happened to me, I mean, I didn't even participate in that...]]
-->'''Jacques''': ...[[RuleOfCool it was cool, though]].
* Every time a title-drop is made, with the last one accompanied by a half-hearted throw of confetti, still in the bag.
-->'''Jon''': WOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!
* "[[UnfortunateImplications Ugly people never win!]]"
* "Also, she's a [[ANaziByAnyOtherName Nazis]]. And a ''StarWars.''"
* The scene with [[ObviouslyEvil Mr. Clipboard]] is [[SpecialEffectsFailure hilarious on its own]], but Jon's commentary makes it even funnier.
--> ''[In the movie, Mr. Clipboard [[SillyWalk gangles into the supermarket]] while making strange gurgling noises.]''
--> '''Mr. Clipboard:''' You must be Leonard...
--> '''Jon:''' Y'know I'd make a comment here, but I'm genuinely worried that he might actually have a disability - and then who looks like the bad guy, I mean, this guy, still a little bit, because he's the bad guy in the movie, but mostly me! Mostly Jon!
* The brand-icon characters in the movie somehow travel to the "real world" - where humans are apparently [[UncannyValley hideously ugly]].
--> '''Jon:''' Oh! Oh God! ''OH GOD!'' Real world's horrible, go back to the supermarket world!
--> ''[Daredevil Dan immediately ends up face to face with an equally hideous Brand X mascot]''
--> '''Jon:''' I made a huge mistake, supermarket world's just as bad -
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Conan the Barbarian]]
* Starting off the video reenacting the famous scene from the movie.
-->JonTron! What is best in life?
-->'''Jon:''' To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
--> Wow, I was gonna say a day at the beach, but what did you say? Something about maiming? Jesus Christ!
* After summing up Conan's backstory, Jon enthusiastically blurts out this while he is not even facing the camera:
-->'''Jon:''' That's fuckin' metal as fuck, dude!
* Jon's reaction to the one long note on the Conan: Hall of Volta title screen.
** Conan: Hall of Volta, "presented by a bunch of white guys named Eric".
** Seeing that one of the characters in Hall of Volta is an "Avian Ally," Jon tries to call Jacques over, but then remembers he left him upstairs. It then cuts to Paul Ritchie coming into Jon's house with life saving medicine, and getting killed by lasers fired by Jacques.
*** His reactions to some of the unhelpful Game Over messages.
--> Your struggles are in vain.
--> (The screen zooms in on the message and starts turning red.)
--> '''Jon''': Who wrote this game, [[FriedrichNietzsche Nietzsche]]?
--> You beat a heated retreat...
--> '''Jon''': (upbeat) [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere And this game I shall not complete!]]
* During his review of the MS-DOS game, his over-the-top reaction to an attractive woman leaning out a window with her cleavage showing.
* His increasingly enraged rant about the NES game's ridiculously cryptic gameplay, which he finishes by uttering Chevy Chase's immortal line:
-->"HALLELUJAH! HOLY '''SHIT!!'''"
** Before that is his rant about the controls.
--->'''Jon''': But you better make sure that you hit A and then down a bit after that, because if you just hit down you'll jump to a fiery death because '''DID I MENTION THAT DOWN ALSO FUCKING LONG JUMPS?!''' *furious* '''WHO DID IT? WHY'D THEY DO IT? ARE THEY- ARE THEY STILL ALIVE?''' Can I go kill them? Let's go do that right now.
* The ending of the episode ends with Jon playing a modern Conan game that he actually likes, [[MoodWhiplash when it suddenly cuts to Jon pointing at a jar of horseradish.]]
--> '''Jon''': (talking very fast) There's a jar of horseradish up there I don't know what it is but its scary.
--> (Epic music plays while the camera zooms in on it.)
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Takeshi's Challenge]]
* What Jon surmised after the famous Takeshi Kitano tried his hand at video game design.
--> '''Jon''': After that, the sea floor split open and swallowed the Caribbean. Earthquakes ravaged the west coast of America and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking goblins were still really, really scary!]] (cut to Jon) Ew, I don't like 'em! I don't like goblins! ...Waaaaugh!
* When he finally begins showing off the game:
-->'''Jon''': '''''[[LargeHam LIKE APHRODITE RISING FROM THE SEAFOAM OF URANUS' SEVERED BALLSACK!]]''''' *To the side* [[MoodWhiplash No, really,]] [[SincerityMode I'm serious,]] [[GreekMythology that's how it happened, look it up, it's... it's true, it's definitely true]].
* A small bit of humor: when Jon is made aware of the Famicom's small controller cord length, he tugs at it for a few seconds, says "Fuck it.", and grabs the whole thing.
* Prior to starting the game proper, Jon decides to show off an... unusual NonStandardGameOver. Which can be done by '''[[ViolationOfCommonSense punching the man at the password screen]]'''.
* After getting yelled at by the video game boss:
-->'''Jon''': Oh, yeah? You gonna yell at me? Well, this is a video game, I can do what I want! (punches the boss)
* Jon gets the first hint that the game [[RealityEnsues isn't quite going to be a thrilling, saccharine ride.]]
--> '''Jon''': (notices a sales chart that ''bottoms out past the bottom of the graph'') (voice trailing off as the music gets distorted) Oh... Merry Christmas, Japan, 1986...
** Even better is that he stopped the game character in such a way that he has the ''silliest face''.
* His reaction to the "Grilled Mormons" shop:
--> '''Jon:''' Grilled Mormo--Mor--MORMONS?! (drunk-sounding) ''Oh what's going on, I had no idea it was okay to eat those guys... I better be sure to check the Broble to see if that's okay.''
* After Jon learned (via in game text) that he was taken to his in-game home after passing out drunk:
-->'''Jon''': Well, this explains quite a b[[spoiler:- ([[SmashCut cut back to game]])]]
* "Also, I'd just like to point out that [[SuddenlyShouting THERE IS A LICENSED NINTENDO GAME]] '''[[SuddenlyShouting WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN IT!!!]]'''"
** And then he follows ''that'' up by showing that you can '''''murder your in-game children'''''.
* Jon putting on a suit to properly play the game, backed up by a remix of his theme.
--> '''Jon''': Let's beat Takeshi [[StealthPun at his own game]], goddamn it!
** Before that, there was this:
--> '''Jon:''' Now, at this point most people, like ninety percent of people, would do this:\\
''(cut to him dropping the VideoGame/TakeshisChallenge cartridge into the trash, and then dropping a lighter into the trash, [[IncendiaryExponent setting it aflame]])''\\
'''Jon:''' *wielding a Crucifix* OUTTA THIS HOUSE! '''OUTTA THIS HOUSE!'''\\
'''Jon:''' *now burning incense* Spirits begone from this house!
* Jon makes a revelation late into the game.
--> '''Jon''': Y'know, It's only just dawned on me right now, but do you realize that this is a Nintendo game in which [[CrazyAwesome you quit your job, divorce your wife, and go treasure hunting]]? ... [-TEN OUTTA TEN. TEN OUTTA TEN, HUNDRED OUTTA HUNDRED. BEST GAME. BEST GAME.-]
* His reaction to the game's [[AWinnerIsYou ending]]: Writing a letter to Takeshi Kitano asking him why he made Takeshi's Challenge, even saying he's going to mail the letter when he's finished recording, in the letter. In ''Japanese''.
* "*unintelligible* Bad game! Two outta ten!" (flashing [=GameSpot=] logo accompanied by heavy metal)
* [[ARareSentence "Never in my life have I said 'God damn it, I shot the wind again!' And meant it."]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:California Games]]
* The opening of the episode.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh my God! Summer's almost here! But I haven't lost my winter weight!
--> ''[Jon glances over to a bikini hanging up in his closet]''
--> '''Jon:''' Ahh! I can't look. Jacques, what am I gonna do to lose all this weight?
--> '''Jacques:''' Stop inventing and eating things like [[BizarreTasteInFood cheesecake pizza]].
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, that was in the past, Jacques, cheesecake pizza's in the past! I suppose I should bring up your shortcomings as well! ''[[[HypocriticalHumor Jon nonchalantly]] [[{{Squick}} bites into a piece of cheesecake pizza]]]''
** "You are a regular Creator/LucilleBall."
** And when Jon mentions he's going to do something to lose his weight, Jacques retorts with: "[[TakeThat Actually go outside?]]"
* This part:
--> '''Jon:''' California Games was made to capture and emulate the rhythms of the sun-bleached Pacific Coast. [snapping into his New York accent] If- First up, traffic on da 405 freeway, HA!
* The way Jon puts the game into the NES: he places it on a skateboard, which zooms toward the NES, and the game just hops into the slot.
* "Waddya- Waddya like? STREET HOCK?"
* Jon laughs at how the girl in the roller-skating game trips over anything...well, ''almost'' anything:
--> '''Jon:''' This girl falls over ''everything''. Cracks in the cement, tiny tufts of grass in the sidewalk, ''sand particles''.
--> ''(The girl successfully skates over a chalk drawing in the sidewalk.)''
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, she made it over the chalk on the floor. Gotta be honest...didn't expect her to clear that one.
* For some weird reason, [[SnarkBait Alcatraz Island is in the background of one of the games]], which Jon proceeds to riff on.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh man, I mean, when I think of the beauty and majesty of California, the first thing, the ''first thing'' I think of is the maximum security correctional facilities. [[SarcasmMode Gotta see it]].
* [[http://youtu.be/kFKqlO8u3_4 This]] little moment.
--> '''Jon:''' It seems to me that this is a perfect representation of California sportery. ({{Beat}}) [[SuddenlyShouting IF YA SUCK!]]
* Jon playing the frisbee game:
-->'''Jon:''' ''[Trying to catch the frisbee and speaking in a bored, slurred voice]'' I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it!... ''[[[{{Beat}} the frisbee hits the ground]]]'' [[DullSurprise Oh no, I didn't get it]].
* Jon reads a text bubble that says "Let's drop in on a grommet." His over-the-top response is hilarious.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh! "Grommet"! I used to say it all the time back in Cali! You couldn't ''stop'' me saying this word! Grommet this! Grommet that! The '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''' DOES GROMMET MEA-''
** This joke comes back when Jon sees some graffiti in the skateboarding part of the game.
--> '''Jon:''' "Vertical Hunger." Yes, absolutely. Because Horizontal Hunger IS FOR GROMMETS!
* Jon's reaction to one of the graffiti phrases in the game.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, and all our favourite Cali phrases are here too, such as "The Most Smooth", "Raaad" and "Sw-" ohhh... "S-"... "Swood"? [[SuddenlyShouting THEY JUST COULDN'T STAP ME!]] I'M GOIN' ALL UP ON DA ROOFTOPS, ''SWOOD'' THIS! ''SWOOD'' THAT! ''[leans back]'' Just...fuck it, y'know? I don't give a shit, it's a fuckin' show... ''[pulls down part of the lighting]'' What's the...fuckin' light.
* Jon decides he doesn't need these [[MoodWhiplash depressing-ass]] games, and goes to have fun by himself outside... what follows isn't something that can be put into words, but it's most definitely a jewel of CringeComedy.
** What can be said is this: Jon's gleeful laughter doubles as both a Crowning Moment of Funny and a MostWonderfulSound.
* His reactions to how dark and graphic the death scenes are.
** The fact there even ''are'' death scenes in a game like this. Especially the skateboard one. In Jon's words:
--->''*Shocked laughter*'' ...I died! For real, funeral and all!
* Whilst playing the surfing game, a shark appears:
-->'''Jon:''' That is the ''[[RidiculouslyCuteCritter cutest goddamn shark]]'' I've ever seen, I love him and he's mine now.
** When Jon wipes out, we are treated to a scene of the surfboard washing up on shore, with music implying that the surfer ''died''. Now, this isn't funny (and neither is Jon going to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror in shock)... but what ''is'' is that [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer apparently]], if you wait long enough, '''''[[SoundtrackDissonance the upbeat level music]] [[MoodWhiplash starts back up again]]'''''. Cue Jon {{Corpsing}}.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30voQyK3Qog The Los Angeles Dinosaur.]][[note]]The Los Angeles Dinosaur is real; it's actually green, rather than brownish-orange in the game.[[/note]]
* TheStinger:
-->'''Jon:''' But to keep-
-->'''Jacques:''' SQUAWK!
-->'''Jon:''' But to keep the show free and-... but, to-
-->'''Jacques:''' ''SQUAWK!''
-->''({{Beat}})''
-->'''Jon:''' ...but, to keep the show-
-->'''Jacques:''' '''SQUAWK!'''
-->'''Jon:''' ...are you [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] serious?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Titenic]]
* Jon briefly goes over a computer game based off the Titanic which Jon describes as having that "old, quirky, 90s' PC game vibe", complete with cutscenes that involve cutouts of live-action people animated in a [[UncannyValley surreal]] manner. During these cutscenes, Jon is actually ''seen in one of them'', digitally edited in unexpectedly well.
--> '''Man on ship''': It is good to see you up and about; you've been in your cabin the whole voyage.
--> '''Jon''': I bought the ticket, I'll do what I want!
* The title, ''Titenic'', [[spoiler:isn't a typo. The second game he plays is deliberately named "Titenic" to avoid copyright, even though they directly stole the likenesses of the film's two leads.]]
--> '''Jon''': ''Oh my God, what is that?!''
** "Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell {{Creator/Leonardo DiCaprio}}'s '''face''' ''or we would've really had a problem''!" Complemented by putting {{Creator/JackNicholson}}'s face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].
* His reaction to the fighting:
--> '''Jon''': Oh, the first thing when I saw the movie, the ''first thing'' I said out the theatre, I interrupted the whole group, I said... ''"Where's the fightin'?"''
* [[InsaneTrollLogic Apparently, chefs are natural pacifists]] according to Jon...
* A horrified revelation:
--> '''Jon''': ''(referring to the Game Over screen of the second game, showing a sinking Titanic)'' I have never experienced a continue screen that made me feel that guilty! I mean, it's my fault that happened! ''I did the Titanic!''
* His great Meat Loaf impersonation when he first loads Titenic up.
** Before that there's the way he says the name of the game. He tries saying it about three times each more baffled sounding than the last until he finally says the entire name sounding more baffled than before. And the way he keeps moving the title picture as he does so, especially zooming in on the title itself before bursting into the Meat Loaf impression.
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Man, 1910 times were]] ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext weird.]]''"
** "Man, 1910 times were '''''[[SurpriseCreepy scary]]!'''''"
* The healing items in Titenic are lobsters and wine. Cut to Jon in a stereotypically fancy outfit, complete with monocle:
--> '''Jon''': ''The bourgiest of beat-em-ups!''
* His referring to an enemy as "a mix between MrT and Donatello from TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles."
* The ending:
-->'''Jon''': ''(after considering what a ''Titenic'' game would be like)'' ...yeah, no, I think you're right. On second thought, I don't think it's gonna work... But I got one for you better! [[spoiler:''Film/SchindlersList: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anw6cFmR9hM HD Remix!]]'']] ''(cut to Jon in a fancy suit in front of a background of falling money)''
* Now, how would you expect Jon to play these two games in this episode? If you said by putting them in his Famicom [[spoiler:and then dropping the Famicom into his fishtank]], then you're clearly aware of Jon's [[AchievementsInIgnorance shenanigans]] by now. This is made even funnier by Jon revealing at a Q&A that he didn't empty the Famicom out first [[spoiler:before dunking it]], much to the annoyance of fans.
* Jon reacting to the [[GagPenis pendulum]] in the grandfather clock.
--> '''Jon''': Uh, excuse me, Titenic management, I think you have a well endowed man standing in one of your grandfather clocks, I just thought I'd warn you.
* Jon's reaction to the very existence of the first game is somewhat hypnotic.
--> '''Jon''': Titanic came out in 1997, I mean the N64 and the PS1 were already out, who was this meant to be marketed to, really? Moms? Kids. Anyone. ICEBERG FANS. Anyone at all?! *Turns to face someone off-camera* Would you buy that?! None a'yall would'a buy that, you're not fuckin' stupid!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Japanese Shoot 'Em Ups]]
* Many, both from the games themselves as well as Jon's reactions to them.
* When Jon mentions that a shoot-em-up with an artichoke shooting SCUD missles would sell in Japan during the intro, a CutawayGag showing the game he mentioned, Artichoke DesertStrike actually exists.
-->'''Jon''': Ahhh, the memories with this one, I still have the nightmares.
* When comparing [[VideoGame/FantasyZone Opa-Opa]] to the Sega mascots, he mentions AlexKidd, SonicTheHedgehog and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Billy the Sex Offender]].
-->'''Jon''': What, you forget about that guy? ''(camera zooms in on Billy's face)'' Well I didn't. I'll never forget, Sega.
* ''Harmful Park''.
** Jon [[ActuallyPrettyFunny actually]] ''[[SincerityMode enjoys]]'' playing ''Harmful Park'', in spite of its rather roundabout title (and alt-title, "[[AccidentalInnuendo high-brow gag and pure shooting]]"), leading up to this joke:
*** [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda "True Sword & Lots Magic: Adventure Boy"]]
** The weapons used in the game leave Jon a bit baffled, to say the least.
-->'''Jon:''' Okay, you've got pies, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin where you throw pies at people]], Ice... Yeah, that's definitely ice there... Potato? Okay--Er... "Jerry"? '''"JERRY"?!'''\\
([[CutawayGag cut to Jon]])\\
'''Jon:''' '''Jon's gettin' upset!'''
** After being killed by an attack that involves [[FlippingTheBird Flipping the double bird]][[labelnote:*]]Giving the finger twice[[/labelnote]] and shooting lasers, Jon doesn't wanna be one-upped and brings his own version of the attack: [[CrazyAwesome Two Jacques shooting laser beams from their eyes.]][[note]][[StealthPun Or, flipping the double bird and]] [[DontExplainTheJoke shooting lasers.]][[/note]]
* When he's reading the intro crawl for ''Samurai Zombie Nation'', and it speaks about [[BigBad Darc Seed's]] "horrible powers":
-->'''Jon:''' Oh, alright, we're fine then! [[LiteralMinded They just said his powers suck!]]
** There's also his DullSurprise moment during the game's intro:
-->'''Jon:''' "1999: A harmless meteorite--yeah; I don't think "harmless" would be a good term to describe that--crashing in the Nevada desert turned out to be [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Darc]] Seed... [[DullSurprise Oh no. Not... him.]]"
** At another point in the intro, it mentions Darc Seed bringing the Statue of Liberty to life to "[[AccidentalInnuendo do his dirty work]]".
-->'''Jon:''' But what Darc Seed ''didn't'' know was that the Statue of Liberty was too ''big'' to do inside people things, so he had to settle with doing his own laundry most of the time!
** And then the game itself begins... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQxvsunYrSs Jon's reaction has to be seen to be believed.]]
-->'''Jon:''' (with a heavily distorted and slowed down voice while Beethoven's Ninth and a fireworks show play in the background) "What the fhaaaaaaaaaak?"
** At one point, Jon points out that the character that's supposed to be the good guy [[DesignatedHero is causing all sorts of mayhem and destruction.]]
-->'''Jon:''' If this is what the good guy is doing... ''then what is the bad guy doing?''I need to see that shit!''
* ''VideoGame/ChoAniki''. Complete with Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey references.
** Jon's encounter with the game's first boss leaves him a bit... ''[[GoMadFromTheRevelation unnerved.]]''
-->'''Jon:''' What did I just see? Was that Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger with a comb-over sticking out his Creator/HRGiger [[FreudWasRight dick?]]\\
(cut back to the boss)\\
'''Jon:''' (while shielding his eyes) [[TemptingFate I'm not looking again!]]\\
([[SchmuckBait he looks back again]])\\
'''Jon:''' ''OHHHHHHH'', that's what it was! '''OH, that's what it is! That's the last one! It's over!'''
** ''"I have fallen! AND I CHOOSE '''NOT''' TO GET UP!"''
** After encountering an attack from one of the game's bosses that looks like a glitch, he decides that he's lost faith in the game and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere declares the review over]].
-->''Can I go back in the [[Creator/StanleyKubrick Kubrick]]?''
* "JonTron is free to watch but here's a list of things that aren't free. FOOD!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Anti-Drug Games]]
* The episode opens with Jon (and Jacques) looking at the wall and wondering if there's something off about his pictures. For the record, his pictures are (going clockwise) [[Music/TheBeatles John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison]] [[spoiler:[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and]] Series/{{ALF}}]].
-->'''Jon''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Yeah, you're right, it's probably nothing...]]
* The beginning: Jon finds out Jacques has been doing "seed".
-->'''Jacques''': Back off old timer, this is cool stuff.
* An anti-drug ad involves a doctor smoking weed during an operation procedure. Jon concurs that it's bad, but adds, "Here's a list of other things I wouldn't want him doing: ''ANYTHING ELSE BUT MY '''FUCKING''' SURGERY.''"
* His take on the classic ad ''This Is Your Brain On Drugs'' (the one with the egg):
-->"So you're telling me that my brain on drugs is a nutritious food that helps my brain grow? I guess I should do some drugs!"
* Jon's reaction to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSIZQRi4M6c one of the anti-drug commercials]].
-->'''[[MeaningfulName Snake]]''': [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent *features becoming reptilian*]] [[EvilSoundsDeep Do I look like the kind of guy who'd do that to a kid like you?]]\\
'''Jon''': YOU LOOK LIKE A ''SNAKE!''\\
'''Snake''': [[SssssnakeTalk Yesssssss!]]\\
'''Jon''': '''WHAT!?'''... WHAT THE '''FUCK'''-
* Jon's face when he sees the final boss of NARC is Mr. Big's giant head. It looks like a cross between "Oh my god this is amazing" and "WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?!"
** Earlier, he explores the message behind the game as he plays as a narcotics officer (named [[AwesomeMcCoolname Max Force]]) that fights drug abusers with ''[[MoreDakka machine guns]]'' and '''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill rocket launchers]]'''.
-->'''Jon''': This woulda put a tear in ol' Ronnie Reagan's eye.\\
'''Jon''': Well, alright, maybe those guys were just resisting arrest, y'know? I mean they had to be dealt with. After all we're just going in there with enough firepower to protect ourselves...\\
''<montage of Max Force [[DisproportionateRetribution blowing up criminals]]>''\\
'''Jon''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOT.]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN.]]'' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis ONCE.]]'''''\\
'''Jon:''' [[CrazyAwesome That...]] ''[[CrazyAwesome was amazing.]]''
** At one point, one of the {{Mooks}} Jon's taking down says "I GIVE UP!" Who does Jon assign this statement to? Well...
--> '''Jon:''' Too little, too late, [[AnimateInanimateObject talking leg.]]
** Also, when Jon blows up Mr. Big's wheelchair and sends him flying:
-->'''Jon''': ''<holds up a '10' scorecard> Teeeeeennnnnnnn''.
** According to Jon, Mr. Big's a really good Tokyo Drifter.
** At one point during the fight with Mr. Big Jon sees something... telling about Mr. Big's [[ItsAllAboutMe character]].
-->'''Jon''': He's got a picture of himself labeled "Me". There's so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin.
* Jon plays ''Wally Bear and the No Gang''... and is distraught at Wally's dad's [[HalfDressedCartoonAnimal lack of leg fashion]].
-->'''Jon''': Ah, hey, Dad, uh, I know you like to live your life on the free-and-easy, but you think you could-uh, do away with the whole "no pants" thing 'til ''after I leave?''
** Followed by ''this'':
--->'''Jon''': Yeah, Wally, I know how you feel. My dad doesn't wear pants either...\\
''Cut to an urn falling over, spilling ashes everywhere''\\
'''Jon:''' '''''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Dad!]]'''''
*** Kinda doubles as a small [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments Heartwarming]]/TearJerker moment, as Jon [[HeReallyCanAct really does sound distraught when saying that line]].
** After mentioning that all the levels in Wally Bear has platforming with ice physics:
-->'''Jon''' (while lying on the couch stiffly and sporting an odd face): [[SarcasmMode Oh. My favorite.]]
** Jacques' reaction to being shown the game cartridge:
-->'''Jacques:''' This is madness. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Why is that bear not wearing a helmet on his skateboard]]?
* Jon's reaction to Wally going through various increasingly bizarre places [[MundaneMadeAwesome just to get to his Uncle.]]
-->'''Jon:''' How many subway connections I gotta make to get to my uncle's house? Maybe my parents could have given me a ride if they weren't so busy mauling each others' privates! ''Hanes!'' '''LEVI'S!''' '''''DOCKERS! TAKE A TRIP TO THE GAP, DAD! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!'''''
** He also gets worked up with the game's "Creator/MCEscher-style garages" in which some of the cutscenes take place, leading to this:
-->'''Jon:''' It feels like I'm getting a contact high from this.\\
(Distorted music begins to play as Jon and a [[DisneyAcidSequence trippy background]] fade in)\\
'''Jon:''' (while holding up his (handless!) arms) Where's my hands?
** It all culminates into a series of magnificent rants when he encounters, in his own words, a ''demon fortress'' in the middle of a subway. The way Jon delivers the line is funny by itself.
-->'''Jon''': What the '''fffuck''' is this supposed to '''BE'''? This game has a chronic condition of never explaining anything! Two minutes ago we were in the suburbs, now we're, what, taking a stroll through Nikolai Tesla's '''secret underground LAIR'''!?\\
'''Jon''': "Watch out for a man giving away candy." Uh, are- are you aware that our city has an ''underground'', '''DEMON FORTRESS''' in it!? And- a- ehg- apparently, the subway... just passes ''right through that shit''! G- g- gimme the man. Gimme him right now. I- I'll take the fucking candy right off his hands. 'S amazing compared to what I've just been through!
** "Hey Wally, don't forget to take the shortcut to Uncle Gary Grizzly's through the snake cave! It's right after the - it's just coming to me - it's the bomb ghetto? Yeah, you'll find it, don't worry bout it."
* Jon's bored, casual reaction to meeting Larry Lizard.
-->'''Jon''': Oh... well, I'll assume this is Larry.\\
''<Larry is promptly killed by a frisbee>''\\
'''Jon''': [[MoodWhiplash Oops I killed him.]]
* And the end, where [[spoiler:Jon gives up on trying to get Jacques off of seed, and just gets high while watching Buzz Aldrin punch a guy.]]
-->'''Jon''' (slurred): That guy went to the m'''''oooOOOooo'''''n.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Clock Tower]]
* After Jacques brings up the Scissorman:
-->'''Jon''': ''(horrified gasp)''...''not the Scissorm'n''.
-->'''Jacques''': Well, I didn't realize you were going to go apeshit.
-->'''Jon''': ''(close-up)'' '''MMM, SCISSORM'N'''
-->'''Jacques''': ''Please stop.''
* CLOCK TOWEL
** "Clock Towel? That's not very scary."
*** CLOCK TOWE'''''R''''' [[OhCrap "OH, GOD!!"]]
* Jon Tron saying that anything can be bought and sold for the right...oil.
* "From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?" "That's the fifth time you['ve] asked!"
-->'''Jon''': Yeah, well maybe it'd be the last time if you just ''fucking told me!''
* Jon's first action when the game gives him control of Jessica is to run away from the situation when he notes the sudden change in music. Even funnier is that Jessica, with no buildup or tells, just suddenly bolts. In her walking animation.
** Cue the sound of the hundred footsteps it takes for Jessica to walk the other side of the room compressed into a span of 3 seconds.
* The house's... strange decorations:
-->'''Jon''': Ah yes, there's nothing like a portrait of a skull with no eyes to really bring a home together!
** Followed by Jon having a similar painting on his own wall:
-->'''Jon''': This is actually an original Vincent Van Ghoul! ...people don't come over anymore.
* ''[[Music/MichaelJackson I'm being strangled by the man in the mirror!]] AHHHHGH!!!''
* When Scissorman first appears, Jon runs away, only run back when he thinks Scissorman [[SkewedPriorities might be]] [[Music/{{ACDC}} Angus Young]].
** And immediately before the Scissorman's first appearance, Jon says "I'm getting a bit sick of these dead ends, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor I just want the plot to progress already!"]]
* He hides from Scissorman by climbing up a ladder to a heightened area, and Scissorman walks away... Only to drop down from the ceiling directly above him seconds later.
-->'''Jon''': '''I did not factor in the Warp ability!'''
* The various times throughout when Jon attempts to leave the haunted house. Especially when he finds a car and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqIAVodYbJU the dialogue prompts him to stay to save the others left in the mansion]].
--> "But... the others..." ''([[http://gfycat.com/SneakyPastelArkshell considers the situation]])'' "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it!]]" ''(car peels out of garage explosively)''
** Made HilariousInHindsight given the fact that if he had chosen to flee in the car [[spoiler:the Scissorman would've killed him anyway.]]
* Jon is so disturbed by what he finds behind the curtain (a giant purple... thing), he vomits [[spoiler:'''candy corn''']]... which promptly breaks the scene, causing him and the cameraman to start {{corpsing}}. His second reaction is just as good:
-->'''Jon''': So can I start therapy now, or should I wait until the nightmares set in?
* The ending of the video:
** Jon being relieved after finishing the game, at peace with the fact that [[TemptingFate the game isn't actually real]] because, as he knows, [[spoiler:[[InsaneTrollLogic scissors don't actually exist]]]].
** Jon is horrified to find an article reading "SCISSOR ENTHUSIAST ESCAPES FROM ASYLUM - HEADING TO [=JONTRON=]'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW!"... [[spoiler:[[CompletelyMissingThePoint Because the article was cut out with scissors]].]]
** There's also the picture caption: [[spoiler:[=JONTRON=]'s HOUSE AND SOON TO BE MURDER SITE]]
** Jon trying to ward off [[spoiler:the Scissorman]]... [[TooDumbToLive with Caution tape]].
--->'''Jon''': (after [[spoiler:the Scissorman [[CuttingTheKnot cuts the tape]]]]) Oh no, ''that's all I had!''
** Jon [[spoiler:fights off the intruder with [[ChekhovsGun the ham he retrieved earlier in the video]].]]
--->'''Jon''': Looks like you're [[spoiler:out to lunch]].
** He then [[spoiler:stuffs the ham into a holster, only to question why he even has a holster since he doesn't have a gun. That second, a [[ChekhovsGag skeleton with a gun]] bursts from the closet and shoots wildly at Jon.]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Skeleton with a gun''': I've got a ''bone'' to pick with you!]]
*** Which is doubly funny if you recall from the "Offical JonTron MERCH!!" video that [[spoiler:he found a gun in his coffee can]]. More than likely, it's [[spoiler:the same gun]].
** Finally, [[spoiler:Jon [[MoodWhiplash remarks that]] [[BrickJoke people actually haven't come over]] in ''several'' years, and that was the last person who visited his house.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Are You Afraid of the Dark? Part 1]]
* Jon get's a little upset at not being able to tell his story to the 11PM society (because midnight is too late).
--> '''Jon''': Can I please just tell the story? [[NoodleIncident I didn't pretend to have been in Vietnam in multiple bars across the country]] to be treated like this.
** Well, to be fair, at least one of them has a reason to be upset:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual VCR Taker Guy]]'''[[note]]Dominic Moschitti[[/note]]: He said he had a bunch of free [=VCR=]s out here for us. And I though you may have been confused and meant to say [=DVD=] players, or [[TooDumbToLive maybe you didn't understand what you had]]. And I was coming to take that from you. So, pretty much, ''where's my shit''?
** Followed by:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]:''' Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up [[spoiler:a box of Boo Berry cereal]]) ([=VCR=] Taker Guy flinches)
** And then him trying to stoke the flames by throwing dust on it... [[EpicFail and discovering the hard way that the dust he brought may not have been dust...]]
-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS OH... whozthat? Is this ''manganese!?'' I think I just got flashbanged! I can only see white... is that God?
-->'''11PM Society:''' ''(leaves in disgust)''
** And once he stops being blind (twenty minutes later):
--->'''Jon''': (happy) Hey, hey, hey, it's wearing off! Guys, I'm not blind anymore! (sees that everyone left) ... (disappointed) Now I wish I was...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boFLIIZK28Q WOLF DISS]]''
* Jon's reaction to the cabbie saying he "sorta died"
--> '''Jon''': I don't think there's really an in-between on that.
* "Damn, I've never been burned that bad before by [[DullSurprise a piece of wood]]."
* Jon mocking the children screaming.
-->'''Jon:''' [[DullSurprise That's]] [[SarcasmMode one scared kid]].
* "They're dead. Two kids gonna die tonight." And later...
-->'''Vink''': ''(spins around in chair with eerie music)'' ...There is ''one way''.\\
'''Jon''': '''''TWO KIDS GON' DIE TONIGHT!'''''
* Jon pointing out some of the showmakers' names at the starting credits, and their rather severe case of NoPronunciationGuide.
-->'''Jon''': Re-Real... Proulx? Oh thank god we got the real one here, I'm sayin' - yeah, yeah! I see you, Fake Proulx. You get outta here!
* Jon [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUXjnVYBWDk mocking]] the SoundtrackDissonance while the younger boy is hanging from a cliff.
-->'''Jon''': I have a feeling the musical direction for this scene went a bit like this: "Oh okay, so the kid could possibly die in this scene, fall off the ledge, make a big splatter, so it's real morbid, it's real scary, y'know, just noodle around on the guitar a bit, ''(imitates guitar noises)'' Yeah don't worry about it, here's a loonie for your time, a toonie for your wife, [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes our]] ''[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes money's cartoon]], [[SuddenlyShouting OUR MILK'S IN BAGS-]] '''[[RageQuit SCREW IT,]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'M OUTTA HERE!]]''' (door slams)''"
* "Canadian Hagrid" showing the boys a hand in a jar, which is CensoredForComedy.
* The riddle involves something that has no weight, can be seen by the naked eye, and when it is put in a barrel, the barrel becomes lighter. [[spoiler:It's a hole.]]
-->'''Jon''': Halloween, it's gotta be candy, Three Musketeers, lightest candy bar, fuck you.
* When Jon points out that the younger boy's mouth movements barely match up what he's saying, he shows a clip of the boy talking, then adds, "I'm not sure what you're talking about", [[HongKongDub while his mouth movements hardly match what he's saying]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Are You Afraid of the Dark? Part 2]]
* Jon interprets the "creepy guy who tells riddles to kids"'s line as "BRAIMYUMLEAH"
** IT'S THE MOST FUN IN THE [[{{Mondegreen}} FUCK]] (AMBIGUOUS [[RougeAnglesOfSatin LAUGTHER]])
* Also, you have [[AerithAndBob Josh, Kathy]], and [[VideoGame/MarioIsMissing Weegee]].
-->'''Jon''': So Josh wins the dare, and... ''(sputters for a bit)'' Weegee, why is his name Weegee? This is ''not'' a name!
* Jon's reaction to the second basement scene:
-->'''Jon''': Alright, alright, c'mon, this isn't scary at all! I mean, how many times is he gonna dick around in the basement before something actually hap- ''(Sees [[UncannyValley the doll]])'' I think Imma have ta watch the rest of this one with the lights on.\\
''(Jon uses remote to raise the brightness on his TV, [[spoiler:then does the same pointing at himself, which raises the brightness of the video]].)''
* The third scene in the basement:
-->''(Generic stock music changes to weird clown music. Andy moves to the radio and tries adjusting the frequency.)''\\
'''Jon''': Aw yeah, weird clown music! Turn it up!\\
''(A man wearing circus clothes appears through the doorway)''\\
'''Circus Presenter''': Aww... Don't stop now, son. You're almost '''HERE'''!\\
''(Circus presenter is suddenly a skeleton and reaches out and grabs Andy's wrist)''\\
'''Skeleton''': What's the matter, Andy? Don't you wanna have some fun? ''[[{{LaughingMad}} Hahagnyahahaha!]]''\\
''(Cut to [[spoiler:scene overlaid with skeleton [=GIFs=] with an [[SensoryAbuse over-amplified]] "[[CallBack Spooky Scary Skeletons]]" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN-V9BjSR0E playing in the background]]]])''\\
'''Skeleton''': ''[[{{Randy Savage}} Oh yeah!]]''
* "No! Anything but Screamo!"
* The ending of the video. [[spoiler:The ending of the third episode, "Tale of the Dark Music", turned out to be legitimately terrifying, and not just NightmareRetardant like the last two. When the last episode had a moment that was ''almost'' scary, only to be made ridiculous moments later, Jon's reaction was "they blew it". So this time?]]
-->'''Jon''': Wait, what's this? He's got a new bike now? Well that doesn't make any sense. I mean, how did it- ''(watches the ending[[note]][[spoiler:The monster gave Andy the bike after eating the bully, and promises to give him anything he wants as long as he feeds him. The episode ends with the implication that '''''his sister is next to go'''''.]][[/note]] in StunnedSilence)'' [[spoiler:'''''[[MoodWhiplash They]] [[{{Understatement}} didn't]] [[BrickJoke blow it]].''''']]
** Immediately followed by [[spoiler:a credits sequence intentionally reminiscent of AYAOTD's own... [[MoodWhiplash where the credits image is that of]] [[BrickJoke the Boo Berry cereal box]]]].
* At one point, the kids are reading from newspaper articles about a fire. Jon calls this out as reading from the script, [[HypocriticalHumor while simultaneously reading a script that is shown to the viewer]].
** Jon's impersonation of Kathy.
--> "Ew, what a weird ''old guy.'' He ''died.''"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Plug and Play Consoles]]
* When looking at various bootlegs, he stumbles over one of the Justice League:
-->'''Jon''': Oh, and of course, don't forget everyone's favourite crime fighting alliance, "Sense of Right"! Everyone's here! ComicBook/{{Batman}}, ComicBook/{{Superman}}, Sh-WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}? A ''WesternAnimation/{{car|s}}''...? ''Ohhh noooo...''
* The first ripoff console he looks at, the "[=GameFillip=]", advertises as a selling point: "NEW version with audio/video cable".
-->'''Jon''': This thing has the ''audacity'' to promote, as a selling point, that it comes with AV cables. Yeah, don't even get me started on the ''previous version''.\\
''(Cut to Jon taking down a box labelled "Old [=GameFillip=]", and opening it to reveal some crayons, a dead fish with cigarettes in and around its mouth, and a mixtape labelled "Booty Jams")''\\
'''Jon''': ''(nods)'' I can make this work.
* For the first console, Jon's crack about the unfortunate angle of the picture of the child on its front cover, which makes him appear to [[NoNeckChump have no neck]].
-->'''Jon''': Perfect for children with no necks!
** Followed by him pretending he has no neck and saying "Finally, a game system for me!"
* One of the consoles Jon plays (the 76000 in 1 console to be exact) has a game called "WesternAnimation/ToyStory". [[NeverTrustATitle It turns out to be a completely different game entitled "Circus Charlie".]]
-->'''Jon''': Circus Charlie, huh? I don't remember this from the movie.
* When Jon opens the ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros'' clone, the title screen reads "Mr. Mary".
-->'''Jon''': I have ''several'' questions.
* His note of the monkey peering over the "Hitting Mices" logo on the first game of the Pro Player Games' title screen. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Which would hint at his reactions to the certain other games on the console's title screens later on]]:
-->'''Jon:''' [[DissonantSerenity Ohhh, complete with]] [[NightmareFuel nightmare]].
* The title screen for "Edacity Snakes" has a [[Disney/TheJungleBook Kaa]] clone on it.
-->'''Jon''': They used the same exact snake except that this time he looks like he peed on the rug and got in trouble for it. Bad snake! Bad! You're copyrighted!
** His reaction to the game itself (a Snake clone)
-->'''Jon''': It's Snake.. it's fucking.. it's [[SuddenlyShouting FUCKING SHITTY ASS SNAKE!!!]] (door slam) OK I am not leaving until somebody tells me where "edacity" fits in to all this. Better move on to the next game [[TemptingFate before I get a goddamn coronary]].
** Followed by him turning on the game "Pop Monster", with its rather creepy monster in the title screen.
-->'''Jon''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnSzrZcIxdU I'm going. I'm going.]]
* Jon pointing out the game "Stub Game", "or as I like to call it, [[SuddenlyShouting STACKING FUCKING CANS]]".
* Jon's reaction to a game he thought was about Ancient Chinese warfare, but was actually just another shitty puzzle game:
--->'''Jon''': It's...it's awful. ''[[SuddenlyShouting It's all fucking awful!]] All if it! All of 'em!'' '''EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ''SUCKS!'''''
* Jon playing 'Brave Boy'.
-->'''Jon''': *Holding up a sword* "I'm a brave boy."
-->*Cut to a shot of the protagonist giving the monster a bath.*
-->'''Jon''': *Tosses sword over his shoulder* "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a brave enough boy for THIS!]]"
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "I want a bath, motherfucker!"]]
* "''Magical Kitchen'': Surprise, it's hell on earth, it's bouncing suicidal fruit and a spatula '''NECKST'''."
* The ending: [[spoiler:Jon himself becomes a bootleg master with the help of Music/MichaelJackson]].
[[/folder]]
!!Shorts
[[folder:JonTron State of Affairs]]
* "JonTron State of Affairs", aside from being a reassurance that he hasn't stopped unannounced, also contains some funny moments, both scripted and non.
** Jacques attempts to bite Jon's lip repeatedly. Once he gets tired of it, he moves him to his hand. Where he then poops. Jon moves him to the computer monitor, citing that he can't cause much trouble there. Jacques proceeds to ''flutter off of it and behind the computer.'' Jon just gives up and doesn't have him in the rest of the video.
** At one point Jon is interrupted by Jacques plummeting from the monitor, next shot is of Jon's back to the camera as he says in a pseudo-baby voice, "Did ya fall down over hurr?"
** Jon dancing a little boogie in front of his favorite Halal food cart, [[SoundtrackDissonance while "Nessun Dorma" blares in the background.]]
** "I wanna make the videos for ya, but I'm not fast enough, [[CrossesTheLineTwice daddy, stop beatin me, please]]!"
** "YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT YOU WILL [[RougeAnglesOfSatin PAT]] FOR THIS"
** "You know, I'm the little guy! I'm the Mom-and-Pop shop, that's who you're yelling at! You're going to Mama Roroso's at the corner bakery and saying 'Fuck you! Not as much pepperoni on this pizza as the other place, Pizza Hut!'"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Magfest 2014]]
* The video opens with Jon having [[spoiler:Creator/DavidTennant]] over for [[spoiler:Jesus' birthday]]... and then [[spoiler:killing Creator/MattSmith over what he did to David in "The End of Time"]].[[note]]There's also the fact that [[spoiler:they're all cardboard cutouts]].[[/note]]
* "[[spoiler:I also have a Kim-Jong Il one; I didn't use him for the video. (draws a Hitler moustache on it)]]"
** [[spoiler:He also punches him in the face.]]
* Trying to get [[spoiler:David]] to [[spoiler:say "Allons-y!"... by smacking his crotch.]]
* His decision to sing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" as he begins [[spoiler:cutting up Matt's body in the shower]].
* Just the fact that the video [[GilliganCut abruptly]] cuts from Jon [[spoiler:dumping a duffle bag containing Matt in the river]] to [[MoodWhiplash Jon announcing he's going to Magfest]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Diablo III Hardcore!]]
* Jon's favorite ''VideoGame/DiabloIII'' class: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_qFk9pKsAQ Sword class.]] [[labelnote:*]]Cue character made entirely out of swords. Using ''a gun''.[[/labelnote]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:CONKER IS TOTALLY BACK GUYS]]
* Jon's reaction to [[VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay Conker]] appearing in [[VideoGame/ProjectSpark Project Spark]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t_Co0gfj18 All of it]]
** To specify: [[spoiler:He flushes his X-Box games down the toilet and then proceeds to stab the XBoxOne in its box with a kitchen knife. [[LaughingMad Laughing the entire time.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:How to Play Valiant Hearts]]
* Despite being a sponsored video, the VideoGame/ValiantHearts video is still unbelievably hilarious.
** Prince Franz Ferdinand:
--> '''Narrator''': After the assassination of Prince Franz Ferdinand...\\
'''Jon''': That's horrible, I don't like [[Music/FranzFerdinand that band]] that much anyway, though.
** The first in-game step:
--> '''Jon''': First step: Don't g- don't go to war. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Not a good idea]].
*** Later...
--> '''Jon''': I don't even have to listen to you, do I? You're just gonna keep doing that, alright, I'm going the other way ''[turns around, walks away from building]'' Fuck this, I'm not doing the war, fuck you! Yeah, step four, didn't change, don't go to war! I'm serious! Get outta here, this is not- this is- ''[reaches invisible wall]'' oh ''nooo''...! ''[{{beat}}]'' Step 5: You gotta go to war.
* Or this bit:
-->'''Narrator:''' The German Empire declares war on Russia.
-->'''Jon:''' Heh. Yeah, what else is new.
-->'''Narrator:''' France is preparing for conflict.
-->'''Jon:''' Okay, now ''that's'' new.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Offical JonTron MERCH!!]]
* Jon wakes up and brews a cup of JonTron Coffee. The blend? The "ECH Roast".
* The coffee commercial being abruptly cut off with Jon's face suddenly falling and a record scratch.
--> '''Jon:''' Aw, ''crap.'' This commercial is supposed to be for that shirt over there...and that other shirt...and that exclusive shirt that girl is modeling right now...
* Jon realizes he doesn't even own a coffee company. Now curious he reaches into the can of ECH Roast...
--> '''Jon:''' Wait a second. I don't even own a coffee company. ''*Slowly pulls a gun out of the coffee can*'' [[MoodWhiplash There's just a g--there's a gun in here...]]
* A bit meta, but this tweet from the site hosting said merchandise after the video launched.
--> ''We’re sorry, [=@JonTronShow=] dropped an [=EchBomb=] on our server. We’re bolting everything down."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
[[foldercontrol]]
----
!!Full Episodes
[[folder:Hercules Games]]
* At the start of Hercules Games, Jon is talking about Hercules. It then cuts to him playing a Disney Tarzan game.
--> '''Jon''': I'm playing a game based on my favorite Greek legend, Heracles!"
--> [Cut to Disney's Tarzan start screen on the television, an instrumental of Two Worlds playing in the background]
-->'''Jacques''': I'm glad to see nothing has changed around here.
-->'''Jon''': ''(Singing the Tarzan theme)'' Two worlds, one family...
-->'''Jacques''': Fuck this shit.
-->'''Jon''': (Heavily slurred) ''SON O' MAN LOOK TOOOO THE SKY'' *Jacques explodes*
* Also, Jacques delivering a laser-guided TakeThat to Jon.
-->'''Jon''': I don't wanna stop playing games, or doin' the things I love to do with you, or even making this show!
-->'''Jacques''': [[SarcasmMode Hasn't stopped you before.]][[note]]It was a whopping ''eight months'' between Jon's review of ''SpaceAce'' and this one.[[/note]]
-->'''Jon''': I want to become immortal, too, Jacques, just like Hercules: by playing the ''twelve games of Herc''- [[LateToThePunchLine wait]], what'd you fuckin' just say to me? ''[Stares]''
* His introduction to the first game.
--> '''Jon''': So to make an example of my point, I'm gonna play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. [[SarcasmMode What a name.]] Guess they didn't have to worry about names back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBECHEV!"
* His reaction to the shuffling skeleton enemy in one of the games.
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I'll get my suuuuuu-orrrd for you]], [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_DeVito Danny]]."
** "We're all livin' the human condition, [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/08e70254e92b74efa109023a34eeeb6e/tumblr_mtnlqrSGRz1s3e8j2o1_1280.png but he is speakin' it.]]"
* Zeus' warning of Hades and his minions.
-->'''Zeus''': Hades has many allies. In fact, there a couple of hundred of them just up ahead.
-->'''Jon''': Couple of what of them?
-->'''Zeus''': Couple of hundred of them.
-->'''Jon''': Couple of hundred of them?
-->'''Zeus''': '' '''COUPLE OF HUNDRED OF THEM''' '' just up ahead.
* This moment:
--> '''Hades:''' ''[very quietly]'' ᴴᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉ⋅⋅⋅ᴵ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ᵈᵉᶠᵉᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ⋅ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵉᶰ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
--> '''Jon:''' Excuse me, Hades? Would you mind speaking up a bit?
--> '''Hades:''' ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
--> '''Jon:''' "ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅" ''[{{Beat}}]'' ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʰᵒʷ ʰᵉ ''ᵗᵃᶫᵏˢ''⋅
* [[FreezeFrameBonus The Star Wars-like text crawl]].
** HilariousInHindsight as well, when you consider the game is made by Lucasarts which explains the inclusion of the Force theme in the game's soundtrack.
*** Hindsight nothin', [[FailedASpotCheck it said so in the very title screen of the game.]]
* Jon finds out Herc can eat [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyro_(food) gyros]] to get stronger. He goes into an epic opera-ballad about going to buy a gyro from a local Greek food stall. It then cuts to this.
--> '''Jon:''' Ugh...my stomach...
--> '''Offscreen:''' Dude, are you all right?
--> '''Jon:''' Dude, SHUT UUUUUUP.
* Jon explaining why he doesn't want to play Herc's Adventures as Atlanta or Jason.
--> '''Jon:''' One's a...city in Georgia, ''THE OTHER'S A REGULAR NAME!''
* Jon's analysis of people saying they only talk to sailors:
-->'''Jon''': Well if ''that's'' the case, then you're probably gonna be pretty much limiting yourself to port towns honestly, and ''even then'' they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you, also '''what the fuck, ''who says that?'''''
-->'''Jon''': Okay, first of all, what kind of occupation is ''stroller?'' What kind of town is this? How did anyone learn ''speech'' if everyone only talks to sailors and there''' ''AIN'T NO SAILORS 'ROUND TOWN?'''''
* Hercules Does What [[Creator/{{Nintendo}} Nintend]]ercules.
** [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Then a sports car randomly crashes into the text and explodes into flames.]]
* Jon's reactions to Phil from the PS1 Disney/{{Hercules}} game apparently spouting gibberish at one point (including trying to phonetically spell it out with captions.)
* Jon getting killed in the first five seconds of the first Commodore 64 game.
-->'''Jon''': *blank smile* ...'''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]'''
** [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Look closely]] at Jacques at that moment. It looks like he is biting Jon's ear. It could be why he was making that sound.
* "Hercules! Remember the scent of Mother!"
* "Hercules! Beware of Spite and Jealousy!"
* Jon tries playing a Commodore 64 cassette game in a cassette player. It plays loud static as Jon stares ahead with the caption [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer (ACTUAL NOISE IT MADE)]] at the bottom of the screen.
* Jon's claims that the games he's reviewing just appear in his house, and the increasing worry in his voice every time he switches from game to game.
-->'''Jon''': And it's all thanks to- [[ManipulativeEditing The Military Industrial]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Compelx]].
** "''THESE GAMES JUST KEEP SHOWING UP IN MY HOUSE WHEN I'M SLEEPING, MAN.''"
* Jon talking about how a random NPC is too busy to throw out his seemingly dead cat, while constantly cutting to the NPC in question [[ADateWithRosiePalms rapidly jerking his arm up and down in a way that looks like he's masturbating]].
* Jon's description of one game's Hercules' walk animation:
-->''"He looks like [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Eric Cartman]] trying to cut a jig!"'' '''*Proceeds to cut a jig of his own*'''
* Jon noticing that the Legend of Hercules game looks an awful lot like another game.
-->'''Jon:''' Should have just called it [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime The Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of Time]] if you catch my cold! Achoo!
* "DEAR KIDS: [[DrivenToSuicide PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELVES]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice AND THEN SUE ME"]]
* Jon Googling "Is Hercules on the Commodore 64 supposed to suck balls".
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Goosebumps: Part 1]]
* The pumpkin with a goofy-looking face drawn on it.
* Jon's candy corn masterpiece: [[spoiler:[[ShapedLikeItself a pile of candy corn]]]]
* Jon trying to share the Halloween spirit with everyone.
-->'''Jon:''' *Goes outside* Hey everybody! Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
-->'''Cabbie:''' ''Outta the way, asshole!''
-->'''Jon:''' Jesus!
* Jon counting in Jacques:
-->'''Jon:''' Okay. [[LiteralMinded One.]]
-->'''Jacques:''' [[FlatWhat What even.]]
-->'''Jon:''' [[DontExplainTheJoke I counted you in]]-
-->'''Jacques:''' '''Go to fucking hell.'''
* Jon's introduction of the Goosebumps book series, listing off some of the more notable stories, such as...
-->'''Jon:''' ''The Haunted School...The Headless Ghost! Y'CAN'T SKYEH ME! DEGHEUGHEUCLAKEVDOOM! Why I'm Afraid of Bees--well, that's obvious, innit? PIANA LESSONS CAN BE MOIDAH. The Beast...From the East...? Like, are we talkin', like, Asia, or Philadelphia?''
* Being excited about seeing the show again, [[TemptingFate hoping it will be as good as he remembers]]:
--> (Jon turns on the TV, the scene of [[spoiler:Spidey falling off the stairs]] from "Say Cheese and Die!" is shown)
-->'''Jon:''' [[ThisIsGoingToSuck Okay, it's horrible!]]
* Jon's bucket list:
-->[x] Make fun of a kids show.
-->[_] [[CrossesTheLineTwice Laugh at the disabled.]]
--> '''Jon:''' "Man, I am just ''blazing'' through these!"
* [[AchievementsInIgnorance Jon's wonders in technology don't just apply to games]]: He's able to watch "Don't Go To Sleep!" by [[spoiler:shoving the book into his NES]].
-->'''Jon:''' Get that in there; you gotta do it- you gotta do like a taco, 's a method.
* After Matt's mom says he won't be 12 forever:
-->'''Jon:''' ''Or will he?'' (dances to Spooky Scary Skeletons)
** Earlier, after Matt's mom shuts down his request to sleep in the attic: "'''You dirty bitch!'''"
* Jon noticing [[ItMakesSenseInContext the dick-flashlight]].
* "''[[DutchAngle Someone wake up the camera man.]]''"
* His attempts to decipher the hockey coach's rambling.
-->'''Jon:''' We have Hockey Coach Man over here just makin'- OH! -just m-makin' a scene for everyone to enjoy!
** TEN MILLION DOLLARS
** [[Franchise/HarryPotter AVADA KEDAVRA]]
** "Get blown out there, don't be like that guy, [[{{Mondegreen}} fucks like a little kid out there]]." *[[ItMakesSenseInContext Non Specific Orgasm]]*
** Not to mention his theory concerning his acting:
--->'''Jon:''' I feel like they gave this guy specific lines, but he just said "[[TheyJustDidntCare Fuck it.]]" and did whatever he wanted and they were like "(mumbling) Lunch break, (mumbling) [[TheyJustDidntCare I don't care, just leave it.]]"
*** It's even funnier if you know the hockey coach is played by Don Cherry, a real life hockey commentator in Canada known for being controversial and being difficult to censor. So Jon's theory probably isn't that far off.
* Jon's growing confusion over the different alternate realities Matt jumps into.
* [[BerserkButton "IN TROUBLE" IS NOT A LOCATION.]]
** Supplemented by his attempt at drawing out being "In Trouble".
* Jon takes on the use of cinematography in the Reality Court.
--> '''Judge:''' ''[face in extreme close up]'' Will the defendant please rise?
--> '''Jon:''' ''[face also in extreme close up]'' If the judge backs up a bit.
* "''I'll be the judge of that.''" [[FauxHorrific TRUE]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NATtwV2SDOM HORROR]]
* '''17 LIFE SENTENCES!! 5 LETHAL INJECTIONS!! ''TEN DECADES'' OF FAMILIAL SHAME!!''' Just for [[spoiler:[[DisproportionateRetribution hating reality]]]].
* His idea of what the moral of the episode is:
-->'''Jon''': The moral of this story is "Never think, or else [[SpaceWhaleAesop the secret police might catch you and kill you no matter what]]." ([[BerserkButton beyond pissed]]) It's good for the kids, '''''it's good for the adults!'''''
* "Jon, can you feel it? Magic is in the air. I'm going back in." *unintelligble noises*
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Goosebumps: Part 2]]
* Once again, Jon is able to watch the Goosebumps episodes by [[spoiler:shoving them into various video game consoles; he watches My Hairy Adventure by inserting it into his Super Nintendo, and Ghost Beach by shoving it into his Dreamcast.]]
* Jon doesn't like Larry.
-->'''Jon:''' (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. You jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
* [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment Jon shooing away a hand coming at him out of nowhere as he attempts to]] [[spoiler:[[BigLippedAlligatorMoment put Ghost Beach into his Dreamcast]]]][[BigLippedAlligatorMoment .]]
* ''Stroke that cat.'' '''''STROKE THAT CAT.'''''
* The re-edit of Larry Boyd looking at his... er... "new hair."
-->'''Larry:''' ''[screaming]'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-''
-->'''Jon:''' ''[singing, holding operatically on a high C note]'' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-''
-->''(An FBI warning screen spoof pops up with a sustained off-air bleep)''
-->''['''YOU SICK FUCK''': This program has been suspended indefinitely.]''
* This moment is disturbing as hell, but also hilarious
--> "Can't a guy get [[NightmareFuel SOME]] [[VoiceOfTheLegion PRIVACY!?]] [[ActingUnnatural HMM HMM HMM, HMM HMM HMM]]" *said as he stabs something or someone*
* "The moral of the story is real good on this one - it's [[LostAesop 'Don't be unlucky and be a dog.']] ... '''''Thassa good one.'''''"
* Jon's reaction to one of the kids from Ghost Beach in a monster costume.
--> '''Jon''': Aw geez, it's WhoopiGoldberg!
* Jon's GilliganCut reaction to the creepy skeleton faces on Ghost Beach:
-->'''Terri:''' *screams*
-->'''Jon:''' Oh come on, Terri, lighten up, what are you screaming at?
-->'''Louisa:''' [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111209213556/goosebumps/images/thumb/a/a8/Ghostbeach_7.jpg/500px-Ghostbeach_7.jpg Stay with us, cousins!]]
-->'''Jon:''' [[http://puu.sh/54lzc.png AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!]]
* Just like the last Halloween special, evil scary forces don't faze Jon.
-->'''Jon:''' I'm going to enjoy this Halloween even if it ''kills'' me.
-->'''Pumpkin:''' (distorted voice) '''''And it WILL kill you, Mr. Tron!'''''
-->'''Jon:''' (pissed) ''[[UnfazedEveryman Shut up scary jack-o-lantern, I don't give a fuck about your shit right now!]]''
-->'''Pumpkin:''' (slightly embarrassed) [[SincerityMode I'm sorry man, I didn't really realize you were going through a thing like that.]]
-->'''Jon:''' (calmer) That's okay, just... think about how I feel next time, maybe.
* Jon compliments the nature of the Goosebumps series while mutilating the books in various fashions.
* STOP! ''STOP!'' '''''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi8za2kTJDs STOP!]]'''''
* The "[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer undoctored footage]]" of the enthusiastic keyboard kid.
* Jon noticing how excited Larry is about the Instant Tan Lotion.
-->'''Jon as Larry:''' (creepy voice) MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Home Alone]]
* The start of the review:
-->'''Jon''': Nothing like the smell of nog on Christmas Eve, eh Jacques?
-->'''Jacques''': [[EverythingIsRacist That's racist.]]
** Prior to this, we have Jon preparing his drink by cracking an egg over a glass of eggnog and using the shell as a garnish.
* Jacques' [[LiteralMinded interpretation]] of the term 'get nuts'.
** Hearing Jacques' MachineMonotone voice saying "Hell yeah, boyee! Let's get nuts!"
** There's also the adorable "Oopsie" when Jacques drops his nut.
* Jon cooking nuts.
-->'''Jon:''' ''(singing)'' [[Music/LouisArmstrong I see friends shakin']]-
-->''(A nut explodes, creating a loud pop and sparks)''
-->'''Jon:''' Jesus! ''(Continues singing)'' [[SoundtrackDissonance/WhatAWonderfulWorld Singing how do]]-
-->''(Another nut explodes)''
-->'''Jon:''' Fuck!
** Then later (a few ''[[BrickJoke days]]'', [[spoiler:or not]], later) Another nut explodes.
-->'''Jon:''' AH! What is it with these [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] nuts?!
* Jon's analysis of the [[http://howismyface.com/download/Home_Alone_Boy1.jpg Home Alone face]] throughout each of the movies.
** Following this, Jon's [[InsaneTrollLogic insistence]] that "Home Alone 5: Holiday Heist" is a masterpiece. ''Because'' it has one of the best instances of the face.
* Jon's reaction to when the robbers start going exclusively after Kevin.
-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS HE'S IN MY HOUSE! Okay, so that's terrifying. In the movies, the villains are in it for the valuables, but here they seem to be only interested in Kevin. Where's Chris Hanson and that suspiciously benign plate of cookies when you need'em?
* After Kevin gets caught, the Game Over screen is merely a cloud that says "Oh no!"
-->'''Jon:''' Ah, yeah. That's just- that's just about right! That's appropriate, a boy is captured and will likely be found dead in the coming weeks, and all you got is "Oh no." That's good, it's a good message.
-->''(A newspaper appears with horrifying music, headline reading BOY FOUND IN SHALLOW GRAVE while the picture is the "Oh no!")''
* "I dunno, waddya put on goiter? '''SAAAAAAAAALVE!?''' (Beat) (begins rubbing arm) '''SAAAAAAAAAA-'''
* Jon's sudden excitement at being able to powerslide in-game, and getting caught up trying to name powerslide scenes.
-->'''Jon''': Yeah! Pete Townshend! RiskyBusiness! End Of Platoon! [{{Beat}}] Risky Business again!
* Jon's insistence that the elderly woman enemy from the NES ''Home Alone 2'' game is [[{{WMG}} a witch]]. Why? [[spoiler:[[InsaneTrollLogic Her jump arch is a parabola.]]]]
-->'''Jon''': Only a witch can pull off a [[spoiler:parabola]] of this nature.
** Jon's pronunciation of witches: "HHOI-tches!"
* The cartoonish mobster in the SNES version.
-->'''Jon:''' Who is this cartoon mobster here, and why does nobody care that he's in my house? Is he just a weird family member? Is he my dad? Is that my- Is that my game dad?
* The sound the water gun makes in the SNES version of the game.
* Jon saying the mobster in the Game Boy Home Alone game becomes MichaelJackson Moonwalker when you shoot him, complete with 16-bit Smooth Criminal.
* Jon pointing out the high-as-balls teddy bear in Home Alone 2 for the SNES.
* Home Alone on the PS2, with its atrocious artwork and little connection to the film.
-->'''Jon:''' Oh! OH! Are you serious? Is that something that someone who calls them-self a professional artist made and handed it to their boss and the boss went "Yeah, that looks good, do that."
-->"Yeah, that looks good, do that." -Someone bad at life
-->'''Jon:''' Don't you remember these iconic characters from the film? Kelly? Carl? Carly? My-My favorite scene with them was this one.
-->''(Explosions)''
* How the review ends: after Jon finds some ''good'' Home Alone games[[note]]the Sega Genesis ones to be exact[[/note]], Jon tries to wake up Culkin from the stove corn... only for [[FridgeBrilliance a realization to occur]]:
-->'''Jon''': ...[[spoiler:[[MushroomSamba shit, I hallucinated]] [[AllJustADream all that,]] [[RealityEnsues didn't I]]]]... ([[NoEnding hard cut to black]])
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Bootleg Pokemon Games]]
* His reaction to a pretty creepy-looking, vaguely crustacean enemy in "Pocket Monsters" AKA "Pokémon: Pikachu Edition" AKA "Picachu" (sic).
** [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Keep going, Pikachu...or it's back in the ball for you."]]
** "It's hot."
** Jon listing off all the Pokémon enemies in the game. "You can see Beedrill, Porygon, Monkey, Mario Dinosaur, Poop, Abomination…"
** [[TheThreeStooges Curly Howard,]] is that you? Did you come back? Did you come back from the ground mausoleum?
* His excitement for Pokémon Adventure on the GameBoyColor until he finds out what the game is actually like.
--> '''"IT'S SONIC!!!"'''
** To clarify, Pokémon Adventure is a ''hack of a hack'' (Sonic Adventure 7).
---> '''Jon''': Yeah. What happened to-- What happened to 3 through 6!?
** He realizes that this could be "the world's very first double-hack", and proceeds to act out the "double-hacking" by [[HollywoodHacking typing on two computers at once]]...[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything and looking a little TOO pleased with it]].
---> '''Jacques''': Warning, Jon. You are in danger of reaching hack capacity.
** "Welcome to the game. That's the one thing you can see. Fuck you."
* His theory on how ''VideoGame/{{Moemon}}'' came to be, which CrossesTheLineTwice:
--> "Do you realize that for this to happen, someone had to sit down, look at Pokémon and say, 'Y'know, this is great, but it needs more [[{{Lolicon}} little girls]]. I'm gonna go downstairs in my basement now, next to my little girl dungeon, and program this game.' Welcome to planet Earth, ladies and gentlemen."
* During the review of Pokémon Diamond[[labelnote:*]]Not the [[PokemonDiamondAndPearl Pokémon Diamond]] you are thinking of[[/labelnote]] and Jade, Jon notices an...interesting formation in the trees in one part of the game. He suspects that it might be the guy who made ''VideoGame/{{Moemon}}''.
--> '''Jon''': Talk about rockin' out with your cock out!
* Pokémon Crystal Vietnamese Version. The [[BlindIdiotTranslation Blind Idiot Translations]] are astounding.
* Jon's reaction to the scoreboard on "Picadance".
--> '''Jon''': Oh, not to mention every single high score on this game is [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution DDR, DDR, DDR, DDR,]] [[TheyJustDidntCare didn't bother to hide it,]] DDR, didn't bother to hide it, VideoGame/PacMan, DDR, [[MadnessMantra lose, lose, LOSE, LOSE,]] '''[[MadnessMantra LOSE, LOSE!!]]'''
* What about the EpisodeTitleCard itself? It's Jon [[HonestJohnsDealership hiding Pokéballs and cartridges under a coat.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Foodfight!]]
* Jon's framing device for ''{{WesternAnimation/Foodfight}}'' is a parody of film noir, with Dex's face inexplicably in a heart-shaped locket. [[spoiler:Jon later lampshades that he made the locket despite not liking the movie.]]
* How he finds the DVD...
-->'''Jon:''' How long have you had this thing?
-->'''Clerk:''' One million year.
-->'''Jon:''' I'll take it!
* As soon as Jon opens the DVD, the disembodied head of Creator/CharlieSheen pops out and projected the movie into the TV while quoting from [[MemeticMutation his infamous 2011 interview]].
* Jon's frustration at the movie doing a joke about Mr. Clean getting dirty before the intro is even over.
* Jon's list of Daredevil Dan's character traits: "broken motion capture and [[TakeThat making Wayne Brady seem like he's not an actor]]".
* [[TakeThat "That's the only 10 this movie's gettin'."]]
* Jon trying to stop the movie viewing by [[MundaneSolution unplugging the TV]]. The plug just [[YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle re-plugs itself]] back into the outlet, much to Jon's displeasure.
* Dan crying chocolate, with [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer emphasis placed on the sound of his gooey tears and his sobbing]].
-->'''Jon:''' ''(clipped recording)'' '''''Am I dead yet?'''''
* How Jon handles the timeskip deserves a mention:
-->'' '''Daredevil Dan''': Don't worry, it ain't like [[TemptingFate its the last time we're ever gonna see Sunshine again.]]''
-->'''Jon''': ... [[GenreSavvy That's the last time we're seeing Sunshine isn't it.]]
-->''' '' SIX MONTHS LATER '' '''
-->'''Jon''': ''Ah GHKCHH--''
* "Is this like ToyStory rules? Or is this like TheFountain rules? Where there's no rules?" (Back to Jon) "Oh God help us, I think this is Fountain rules!"
* Daredevil Dan's legs. "It's like if FDR came back to life and [[CrossesTheLineTwice tried to show everyone what legs do]]."
** Hell, any time he points out the films {{Special Effect Failure}}s.
* His reaction to Cheasel T. Weasel.
-->'''Jon:''' '''''OH, [[SoundEffectBleep *beep* *beep*]], CO-[[SoundEffectBleep *beep* *beep*]]!''''' ...is that a poop rat? Is that a f[[SoundEffectBleep *beep*]]in' poop rat?
-->'''Cheasel:''' ''[Later, in an incredibly-uncomfortable close-up]'' ...you despise me, don't you?
-->'''Jon:''' '''''BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! STRANGER DANGER!'''''
* Jon tries to protect Jacques' eyes from seeing breasts on a bird, but Jacques protests.
--->'''Jacques:''' You monster. Let me see those melons!
* He reacts to the film's emphasis on product placement by [[HypocriticalHumor inserting some product placement of his own.]]
* [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment The skit]] where [[{{WebVideo/Continue}} Paul Ritchey]] emerges from the DVD, and is followed by an aggressively clean Mr. Clean (played by BrentalFloss).
-->'''Paul''': Oh, God! It's him, it's ''him!'' ... NO! That's what he does! He raises your level of cleanliness to ''impossible'' levels of upkeep! ... Banana split, let's blow this Popsicle stand! Kumquats, I don't know, whatever!
--> ''(sprints out of Jon's house, chased by Mr. Clean)''
-->'''Jon''': (after both men leave) [[UnfazedEveryman Well, that just sorta happened to me, I mean, I didn't even participate in that...]]
-->'''Jacques''': ...[[RuleOfCool it was cool, though]].
* Every time a title-drop is made, with the last one accompanied by a half-hearted throw of confetti, still in the bag.
-->'''Jon''': WOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!
* "[[UnfortunateImplications Ugly people never win!]]"
* "Also, she's a [[ANaziByAnyOtherName Nazis]]. And a ''StarWars.''"
* The scene with [[ObviouslyEvil Mr. Clipboard]] is [[SpecialEffectsFailure hilarious on its own]], but Jon's commentary makes it even funnier.
--> ''[In the movie, Mr. Clipboard [[SillyWalk gangles into the supermarket]] while making strange gurgling noises.]''
--> '''Mr. Clipboard:''' You must be Leonard...
--> '''Jon:''' Y'know I'd make a comment here, but I'm genuinely worried that he might actually have a disability - and then who looks like the bad guy, I mean, this guy, still a little bit, because he's the bad guy in the movie, but mostly me! Mostly Jon!
* The brand-icon characters in the movie somehow travel to the "real world" - where humans are apparently [[UncannyValley hideously ugly]].
--> '''Jon:''' Oh! Oh God! ''OH GOD!'' Real world's horrible, go back to the supermarket world!
--> ''[Daredevil Dan immediately ends up face to face with an equally hideous Brand X mascot]''
--> '''Jon:''' I made a huge mistake, supermarket world's just as bad -
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Conan the Barbarian]]
* Starting off the video reenacting the famous scene from the movie.
-->JonTron! What is best in life?
-->'''Jon:''' To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
--> Wow, I was gonna say a day at the beach, but what did you say? Something about maiming? Jesus Christ!
* After summing up Conan's backstory, Jon enthusiastically blurts out this while he is not even facing the camera:
-->'''Jon:''' That's fuckin' metal as fuck, dude!
* Jon's reaction to the one long note on the Conan: Hall of Volta title screen.
** Conan: Hall of Volta, "presented by a bunch of white guys named Eric".
** Seeing that one of the characters in Hall of Volta is an "Avian Ally," Jon tries to call Jacques over, but then remembers he left him upstairs. It then cuts to Paul Ritchie coming into Jon's house with life saving medicine, and getting killed by lasers fired by Jacques.
*** His reactions to some of the unhelpful Game Over messages.
--> Your struggles are in vain.
--> (The screen zooms in on the message and starts turning red.)
--> '''Jon''': Who wrote this game, [[FriedrichNietzsche Nietzsche]]?
--> You beat a heated retreat...
--> '''Jon''': (upbeat) [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere And this game I shall not complete!]]
* During his review of the MS-DOS game, his over-the-top reaction to an attractive woman leaning out a window with her cleavage showing.
* His increasingly enraged rant about the NES game's ridiculously cryptic gameplay, which he finishes by uttering Chevy Chase's immortal line:
-->"HALLELUJAH! HOLY '''SHIT!!'''"
** Before that is his rant about the controls.
--->'''Jon''': But you better make sure that you hit A and then down a bit after that, because if you just hit down you'll jump to a fiery death because '''DID I MENTION THAT DOWN ALSO FUCKING LONG JUMPS?!''' *furious* '''WHO DID IT? WHY'D THEY DO IT? ARE THEY- ARE THEY STILL ALIVE?''' Can I go kill them? Let's go do that right now.
* The ending of the episode ends with Jon playing a modern Conan game that he actually likes, [[MoodWhiplash when it suddenly cuts to Jon pointing at a jar of horseradish.]]
--> '''Jon''': (talking very fast) There's a jar of horseradish up there I don't know what it is but its scary.
--> (Epic music plays while the camera zooms in on it.)
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Takeshi's Challenge]]
* What Jon surmised after the famous Takeshi Kitano tried his hand at video game design.
--> '''Jon''': After that, the sea floor split open and swallowed the Caribbean. Earthquakes ravaged the west coast of America and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking goblins were still really, really scary!]] (cut to Jon) Ew, I don't like 'em! I don't like goblins! ...Waaaaugh!
* When he finally begins showing off the game:
-->'''Jon''': '''''[[LargeHam LIKE APHRODITE RISING FROM THE SEAFOAM OF URANUS' SEVERED BALLSACK!]]''''' *To the side* [[MoodWhiplash No, really,]] [[SincerityMode I'm serious,]] [[GreekMythology that's how it happened, look it up, it's... it's true, it's definitely true]].
* A small bit of humor: when Jon is made aware of the Famicom's small controller cord length, he tugs at it for a few seconds, says "Fuck it.", and grabs the whole thing.
* Prior to starting the game proper, Jon decides to show off an... unusual NonStandardGameOver. Which can be done by '''[[ViolationOfCommonSense punching the man at the password screen]]'''.
* After getting yelled at by the video game boss:
-->'''Jon''': Oh, yeah? You gonna yell at me? Well, this is a video game, I can do what I want! (punches the boss)
* Jon gets the first hint that the game [[RealityEnsues isn't quite going to be a thrilling, saccharine ride.]]
--> '''Jon''': (notices a sales chart that ''bottoms out past the bottom of the graph'') (voice trailing off as the music gets distorted) Oh... Merry Christmas, Japan, 1986...
** Even better is that he stopped the game character in such a way that he has the ''silliest face''.
* His reaction to the "Grilled Mormons" shop:
--> '''Jon:''' Grilled Mormo--Mor--MORMONS?! (drunk-sounding) ''Oh what's going on, I had no idea it was okay to eat those guys... I better be sure to check the Broble to see if that's okay.''
* After Jon learned (via in game text) that he was taken to his in-game home after passing out drunk:
-->'''Jon''': Well, this explains quite a b[[spoiler:- ([[SmashCut cut back to game]])]]
* "Also, I'd just like to point out that [[SuddenlyShouting THERE IS A LICENSED NINTENDO GAME]] '''[[SuddenlyShouting WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN IT!!!]]'''"
** And then he follows ''that'' up by showing that you can '''''murder your in-game children'''''.
* Jon putting on a suit to properly play the game, backed up by a remix of his theme.
--> '''Jon''': Let's beat Takeshi [[StealthPun at his own game]], goddamn it!
** Before that, there was this:
--> '''Jon:''' Now, at this point most people, like ninety percent of people, would do this:\\
''(cut to him dropping the VideoGame/TakeshisChallenge cartridge into the trash, and then dropping a lighter into the trash, [[IncendiaryExponent setting it aflame]])''\\
'''Jon:''' *wielding a Crucifix* OUTTA THIS HOUSE! '''OUTTA THIS HOUSE!'''\\
'''Jon:''' *now burning incense* Spirits begone from this house!
* Jon makes a revelation late into the game.
--> '''Jon''': Y'know, It's only just dawned on me right now, but do you realize that this is a Nintendo game in which [[CrazyAwesome you quit your job, divorce your wife, and go treasure hunting]]? ... [-TEN OUTTA TEN. TEN OUTTA TEN, HUNDRED OUTTA HUNDRED. BEST GAME. BEST GAME.-]
* His reaction to the game's [[AWinnerIsYou ending]]: Writing a letter to Takeshi Kitano asking him why he made Takeshi's Challenge, even saying he's going to mail the letter when he's finished recording, in the letter. In ''Japanese''.
* "*unintelligible* Bad game! Two outta ten!" (flashing [=GameSpot=] logo accompanied by heavy metal)
* [[ARareSentence "Never in my life have I said 'God damn it, I shot the wind again!' And meant it."]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:California Games]]
* The opening of the episode.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh my God! Summer's almost here! But I haven't lost my winter weight!
--> ''[Jon glances over to a bikini hanging up in his closet]''
--> '''Jon:''' Ahh! I can't look. Jacques, what am I gonna do to lose all this weight?
--> '''Jacques:''' Stop inventing and eating things like [[BizarreTasteInFood cheesecake pizza]].
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, that was in the past, Jacques, cheesecake pizza's in the past! I suppose I should bring up your shortcomings as well! ''[[[HypocriticalHumor Jon nonchalantly]] [[{{Squick}} bites into a piece of cheesecake pizza]]]''
** "You are a regular Creator/LucilleBall."
** And when Jon mentions he's going to do something to lose his weight, Jacques retorts with: "[[TakeThat Actually go outside?]]"
* This part:
--> '''Jon:''' California Games was made to capture and emulate the rhythms of the sun-bleached Pacific Coast. [snapping into his New York accent] If- First up, traffic on da 405 freeway, HA!
* The way Jon puts the game into the NES: he places it on a skateboard, which zooms toward the NES, and the game just hops into the slot.
* "Waddya- Waddya like? STREET HOCK?"
* Jon laughs at how the girl in the roller-skating game trips over anything...well, ''almost'' anything:
--> '''Jon:''' This girl falls over ''everything''. Cracks in the cement, tiny tufts of grass in the sidewalk, ''sand particles''.
--> ''(The girl successfully skates over a chalk drawing in the sidewalk.)''
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, she made it over the chalk on the floor. Gotta be honest...didn't expect her to clear that one.
* For some weird reason, [[SnarkBait Alcatraz Island is in the background of one of the games]], which Jon proceeds to riff on.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh man, I mean, when I think of the beauty and majesty of California, the first thing, the ''first thing'' I think of is the maximum security correctional facilities. [[SarcasmMode Gotta see it]].
* [[http://youtu.be/kFKqlO8u3_4 This]] little moment.
--> '''Jon:''' It seems to me that this is a perfect representation of California sportery. ({{Beat}}) [[SuddenlyShouting IF YA SUCK!]]
* Jon playing the frisbee game:
-->'''Jon:''' ''[Trying to catch the frisbee and speaking in a bored, slurred voice]'' I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it!... ''[[[{{Beat}} the frisbee hits the ground]]]'' [[DullSurprise Oh no, I didn't get it]].
* Jon reads a text bubble that says "Let's drop in on a grommet." His over-the-top response is hilarious.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh! "Grommet"! I used to say it all the time back in Cali! You couldn't ''stop'' me saying this word! Grommet this! Grommet that! The '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''' DOES GROMMET MEA-''
** This joke comes back when Jon sees some graffiti in the skateboarding part of the game.
--> '''Jon:''' "Vertical Hunger." Yes, absolutely. Because Horizontal Hunger IS FOR GROMMETS!
* Jon's reaction to one of the graffiti phrases in the game.
--> '''Jon:''' Oh, and all our favourite Cali phrases are here too, such as "The Most Smooth", "Raaad" and "Sw-" ohhh... "S-"... "Swood"? [[SuddenlyShouting THEY JUST COULDN'T STAP ME!]] I'M GOIN' ALL UP ON DA ROOFTOPS, ''SWOOD'' THIS! ''SWOOD'' THAT! ''[leans back]'' Just...fuck it, y'know? I don't give a shit, it's a fuckin' show... ''[pulls down part of the lighting]'' What's the...fuckin' light.
* Jon decides he doesn't need these [[MoodWhiplash depressing-ass]] games, and goes to have fun by himself outside... what follows isn't something that can be put into words, but it's most definitely a jewel of CringeComedy.
** What can be said is this: Jon's gleeful laughter doubles as both a Crowning Moment of Funny and a MostWonderfulSound.
* His reactions to how dark and graphic the death scenes are.
** The fact there even ''are'' death scenes in a game like this. Especially the skateboard one. In Jon's words:
--->''*Shocked laughter*'' ...I died! For real, funeral and all!
* Whilst playing the surfing game, a shark appears:
-->'''Jon:''' That is the ''[[RidiculouslyCuteCritter cutest goddamn shark]]'' I've ever seen, I love him and he's mine now.
** When Jon wipes out, we are treated to a scene of the surfboard washing up on shore, with music implying that the surfer ''died''. Now, this isn't funny (and neither is Jon going to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror in shock)... but what ''is'' is that [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer apparently]], if you wait long enough, '''''[[SoundtrackDissonance the upbeat level music]] [[MoodWhiplash starts back up again]]'''''. Cue Jon {{Corpsing}}.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30voQyK3Qog The Los Angeles Dinosaur.]][[note]]The Los Angeles Dinosaur is real; it's actually green, rather than brownish-orange in the game.[[/note]]
* TheStinger:
-->'''Jon:''' But to keep-
-->'''Jacques:''' SQUAWK!
-->'''Jon:''' But to keep the show free and-... but, to-
-->'''Jacques:''' ''SQUAWK!''
-->''({{Beat}})''
-->'''Jon:''' ...but, to keep the show-
-->'''Jacques:''' '''SQUAWK!'''
-->'''Jon:''' ...are you [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] serious?
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Titenic]]
* Jon briefly goes over a computer game based off the Titanic which Jon describes as having that "old, quirky, 90s' PC game vibe", complete with cutscenes that involve cutouts of live-action people animated in a [[UncannyValley surreal]] manner. During these cutscenes, Jon is actually ''seen in one of them'', digitally edited in unexpectedly well.
--> '''Man on ship''': It is good to see you up and about; you've been in your cabin the whole voyage.
--> '''Jon''': I bought the ticket, I'll do what I want!
* The title, ''Titenic'', [[spoiler:isn't a typo. The second game he plays is deliberately named "Titenic" to avoid copyright, even though they directly stole the likenesses of the film's two leads.]]
--> '''Jon''': ''Oh my God, what is that?!''
** "Oh, let me tell ya, it's a good thing they didn't misspell {{Creator/Leonardo DiCaprio}}'s '''face''' ''or we would've really had a problem''!" Complemented by putting {{Creator/JackNicholson}}'s face [[TheDanza over Jack's]].
* His reaction to the fighting:
--> '''Jon''': Oh, the first thing when I saw the movie, the ''first thing'' I said out the theatre, I interrupted the whole group, I said... ''"Where's the fightin'?"''
* [[InsaneTrollLogic Apparently, chefs are natural pacifists]] according to Jon...
* A horrified revelation:
--> '''Jon''': ''(referring to the Game Over screen of the second game, showing a sinking Titanic)'' I have never experienced a continue screen that made me feel that guilty! I mean, it's my fault that happened! ''I did the Titanic!''
* His great Meat Loaf impersonation when he first loads Titenic up.
** Before that there's the way he says the name of the game. He tries saying it about three times each more baffled sounding than the last until he finally says the entire name sounding more baffled than before. And the way he keeps moving the title picture as he does so, especially zooming in on the title itself before bursting into the Meat Loaf impression.
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Man, 1910 times were]] ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext weird.]]''"
** "Man, 1910 times were '''''[[SurpriseCreepy scary]]!'''''"
* The healing items in Titenic are lobsters and wine. Cut to Jon in a stereotypically fancy outfit, complete with monocle:
--> '''Jon''': ''The bourgiest of beat-em-ups!''
* His referring to an enemy as "a mix between MrT and Donatello from TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles."
* The ending:
-->'''Jon''': ''(after considering what a ''Titenic'' game would be like)'' ...yeah, no, I think you're right. On second thought, I don't think it's gonna work... But I got one for you better! [[spoiler:''Film/SchindlersList: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anw6cFmR9hM HD Remix!]]'']] ''(cut to Jon in a fancy suit in front of a background of falling money)''
* Now, how would you expect Jon to play these two games in this episode? If you said by putting them in his Famicom [[spoiler:and then dropping the Famicom into his fishtank]], then you're clearly aware of Jon's [[AchievementsInIgnorance shenanigans]] by now. This is made even funnier by Jon revealing at a Q&A that he didn't empty the Famicom out first [[spoiler:before dunking it]], much to the annoyance of fans.
* Jon reacting to the [[GagPenis pendulum]] in the grandfather clock.
--> '''Jon''': Uh, excuse me, Titenic management, I think you have a well endowed man standing in one of your grandfather clocks, I just thought I'd warn you.
* Jon's reaction to the very existence of the first game is somewhat hypnotic.
--> '''Jon''': Titanic came out in 1997, I mean the N64 and the PS1 were already out, who was this meant to be marketed to, really? Moms? Kids. Anyone. ICEBERG FANS. Anyone at all?! *Turns to face someone off-camera* Would you buy that?! None a'yall would'a buy that, you're not fuckin' stupid!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Japanese Shoot 'Em Ups]]
* Many, both from the games themselves as well as Jon's reactions to them.
* When Jon mentions that a shoot-em-up with an artichoke shooting SCUD missles would sell in Japan during the intro, a CutawayGag showing the game he mentioned, Artichoke DesertStrike actually exists.
-->'''Jon''': Ahhh, the memories with this one, I still have the nightmares.
* When comparing [[VideoGame/FantasyZone Opa-Opa]] to the Sega mascots, he mentions AlexKidd, SonicTheHedgehog and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Billy the Sex Offender]].
-->'''Jon''': What, you forget about that guy? ''(camera zooms in on Billy's face)'' Well I didn't. I'll never forget, Sega.
* ''Harmful Park''.
** Jon [[ActuallyPrettyFunny actually]] ''[[SincerityMode enjoys]]'' playing ''Harmful Park'', in spite of its rather roundabout title (and alt-title, "[[AccidentalInnuendo high-brow gag and pure shooting]]"), leading up to this joke:
*** [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda "True Sword & Lots Magic: Adventure Boy"]]
** The weapons used in the game leave Jon a bit baffled, to say the least.
-->'''Jon:''' Okay, you've got pies, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin where you throw pies at people]], Ice... Yeah, that's definitely ice there... Potato? Okay--Er... "Jerry"? '''"JERRY"?!'''\\
([[CutawayGag cut to Jon]])\\
'''Jon:''' '''Jon's gettin' upset!'''
** After being killed by an attack that involves [[FlippingTheBird Flipping the double bird]][[labelnote:*]]Giving the finger twice[[/labelnote]] and shooting lasers, Jon doesn't wanna be one-upped and brings his own version of the attack: [[CrazyAwesome Two Jacques shooting laser beams from their eyes.]][[note]][[StealthPun Or, flipping the double bird and]] [[DontExplainTheJoke shooting lasers.]][[/note]]
* When he's reading the intro crawl for ''Samurai Zombie Nation'', and it speaks about [[BigBad Darc Seed's]] "horrible powers":
-->'''Jon:''' Oh, alright, we're fine then! [[LiteralMinded They just said his powers suck!]]
** There's also his DullSurprise moment during the game's intro:
-->'''Jon:''' "1999: A harmless meteorite--yeah; I don't think "harmless" would be a good term to describe that--crashing in the Nevada desert turned out to be [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Darc]] Seed... [[DullSurprise Oh no. Not... him.]]"
** At another point in the intro, it mentions Darc Seed bringing the Statue of Liberty to life to "[[AccidentalInnuendo do his dirty work]]".
-->'''Jon:''' But what Darc Seed ''didn't'' know was that the Statue of Liberty was too ''big'' to do inside people things, so he had to settle with doing his own laundry most of the time!
** And then the game itself begins... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQxvsunYrSs Jon's reaction has to be seen to be believed.]]
-->'''Jon:''' (with a heavily distorted and slowed down voice while Beethoven's Ninth and a fireworks show play in the background) "What the fhaaaaaaaaaak?"
** At one point, Jon points out that the character that's supposed to be the good guy [[DesignatedHero is causing all sorts of mayhem and destruction.]]
-->'''Jon:''' If this is what the good guy is doing... ''then what is the bad guy doing?''I need to see that shit!''
* ''VideoGame/ChoAniki''. Complete with Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey references.
** Jon's encounter with the game's first boss leaves him a bit... ''[[GoMadFromTheRevelation unnerved.]]''
-->'''Jon:''' What did I just see? Was that Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger with a comb-over sticking out his Creator/HRGiger [[FreudWasRight dick?]]\\
(cut back to the boss)\\
'''Jon:''' (while shielding his eyes) [[TemptingFate I'm not looking again!]]\\
([[SchmuckBait he looks back again]])\\
'''Jon:''' ''OHHHHHHH'', that's what it was! '''OH, that's what it is! That's the last one! It's over!'''
** ''"I have fallen! AND I CHOOSE '''NOT''' TO GET UP!"''
** After encountering an attack from one of the game's bosses that looks like a glitch, he decides that he's lost faith in the game and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere declares the review over]].
-->''Can I go back in the [[Creator/StanleyKubrick Kubrick]]?''
* "JonTron is free to watch but here's a list of things that aren't free. FOOD!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Anti-Drug Games]]
* The episode opens with Jon (and Jacques) looking at the wall and wondering if there's something off about his pictures. For the record, his pictures are (going clockwise) [[Music/TheBeatles John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison]] [[spoiler:[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and]] Series/{{ALF}}]].
-->'''Jon''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Yeah, you're right, it's probably nothing...]]
* The beginning: Jon finds out Jacques has been doing "seed".
-->'''Jacques''': Back off old timer, this is cool stuff.
* An anti-drug ad involves a doctor smoking weed during an operation procedure. Jon concurs that it's bad, but adds, "Here's a list of other things I wouldn't want him doing: ''ANYTHING ELSE BUT MY '''FUCKING''' SURGERY.''"
* His take on the classic ad ''This Is Your Brain On Drugs'' (the one with the egg):
-->"So you're telling me that my brain on drugs is a nutritious food that helps my brain grow? I guess I should do some drugs!"
* Jon's reaction to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSIZQRi4M6c one of the anti-drug commercials]].
-->'''[[MeaningfulName Snake]]''': [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent *features becoming reptilian*]] [[EvilSoundsDeep Do I look like the kind of guy who'd do that to a kid like you?]]\\
'''Jon''': YOU LOOK LIKE A ''SNAKE!''\\
'''Snake''': [[SssssnakeTalk Yesssssss!]]\\
'''Jon''': '''WHAT!?'''... WHAT THE '''FUCK'''-
* Jon's face when he sees the final boss of NARC is Mr. Big's giant head. It looks like a cross between "Oh my god this is amazing" and "WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?!"
** Earlier, he explores the message behind the game as he plays as a narcotics officer (named [[AwesomeMcCoolname Max Force]]) that fights drug abusers with ''[[MoreDakka machine guns]]'' and '''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill rocket launchers]]'''.
-->'''Jon''': This woulda put a tear in ol' Ronnie Reagan's eye.\\
'''Jon''': Well, alright, maybe those guys were just resisting arrest, y'know? I mean they had to be dealt with. After all we're just going in there with enough firepower to protect ourselves...\\
''<montage of Max Force [[DisproportionateRetribution blowing up criminals]]>''\\
'''Jon''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOT.]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN.]]'' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis ONCE.]]'''''\\
'''Jon:''' [[CrazyAwesome That...]] ''[[CrazyAwesome was amazing.]]''
** At one point, one of the {{Mooks}} Jon's taking down says "I GIVE UP!" Who does Jon assign this statement to? Well...
--> '''Jon:''' Too little, too late, [[AnimateInanimateObject talking leg.]]
** Also, when Jon blows up Mr. Big's wheelchair and sends him flying:
-->'''Jon''': ''<holds up a '10' scorecard> Teeeeeennnnnnnn''.
** According to Jon, Mr. Big's a really good Tokyo Drifter.
** At one point during the fight with Mr. Big Jon sees something... telling about Mr. Big's [[ItsAllAboutMe character]].
-->'''Jon''': He's got a picture of himself labeled "Me". There's so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin.
* Jon plays ''Wally Bear and the No Gang''... and is distraught at Wally's dad's [[HalfDressedCartoonAnimal lack of leg fashion]].
-->'''Jon''': Ah, hey, Dad, uh, I know you like to live your life on the free-and-easy, but you think you could-uh, do away with the whole "no pants" thing 'til ''after I leave?''
** Followed by ''this'':
--->'''Jon''': Yeah, Wally, I know how you feel. My dad doesn't wear pants either...\\
''Cut to an urn falling over, spilling ashes everywhere''\\
'''Jon:''' '''''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Dad!]]'''''
*** Kinda doubles as a small [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments Heartwarming]]/TearJerker moment, as Jon [[HeReallyCanAct really does sound distraught when saying that line]].
** After mentioning that all the levels in Wally Bear has platforming with ice physics:
-->'''Jon''' (while lying on the couch stiffly and sporting an odd face): [[SarcasmMode Oh. My favorite.]]
** Jacques' reaction to being shown the game cartridge:
-->'''Jacques:''' This is madness. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Why is that bear not wearing a helmet on his skateboard]]?
* Jon's reaction to Wally going through various increasingly bizarre places [[MundaneMadeAwesome just to get to his Uncle.]]
-->'''Jon:''' How many subway connections I gotta make to get to my uncle's house? Maybe my parents could have given me a ride if they weren't so busy mauling each others' privates! ''Hanes!'' '''LEVI'S!''' '''''DOCKERS! TAKE A TRIP TO THE GAP, DAD! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!'''''
** He also gets worked up with the game's "Creator/MCEscher-style garages" in which some of the cutscenes take place, leading to this:
-->'''Jon:''' It feels like I'm getting a contact high from this.\\
(Distorted music begins to play as Jon and a [[DisneyAcidSequence trippy background]] fade in)\\
'''Jon:''' (while holding up his (handless!) arms) Where's my hands?
** It all culminates into a series of magnificent rants when he encounters, in his own words, a ''demon fortress'' in the middle of a subway. The way Jon delivers the line is funny by itself.
-->'''Jon''': What the '''fffuck''' is this supposed to '''BE'''? This game has a chronic condition of never explaining anything! Two minutes ago we were in the suburbs, now we're, what, taking a stroll through Nikolai Tesla's '''secret underground LAIR'''!?\\
'''Jon''': "Watch out for a man giving away candy." Uh, are- are you aware that our city has an ''underground'', '''DEMON FORTRESS''' in it!? And- a- ehg- apparently, the subway... just passes ''right through that shit''! G- g- gimme the man. Gimme him right now. I- I'll take the fucking candy right off his hands. 'S amazing compared to what I've just been through!
** "Hey Wally, don't forget to take the shortcut to Uncle Gary Grizzly's through the snake cave! It's right after the - it's just coming to me - it's the bomb ghetto? Yeah, you'll find it, don't worry bout it."
* Jon's bored, casual reaction to meeting Larry Lizard.
-->'''Jon''': Oh... well, I'll assume this is Larry.\\
''<Larry is promptly killed by a frisbee>''\\
'''Jon''': [[MoodWhiplash Oops I killed him.]]
* And the end, where [[spoiler:Jon gives up on trying to get Jacques off of seed, and just gets high while watching Buzz Aldrin punch a guy.]]
-->'''Jon''' (slurred): That guy went to the m'''''oooOOOooo'''''n.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Clock Tower]]
* After Jacques brings up the Scissorman:
-->'''Jon''': ''(horrified gasp)''...''not the Scissorm'n''.
-->'''Jacques''': Well, I didn't realize you were going to go apeshit.
-->'''Jon''': ''(close-up)'' '''MMM, SCISSORM'N'''
-->'''Jacques''': ''Please stop.''
* CLOCK TOWEL
** "Clock Towel? That's not very scary."
*** CLOCK TOWE'''''R''''' [[OhCrap "OH, GOD!!"]]
* Jon Tron saying that anything can be bought and sold for the right...oil.
* "From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?" "That's the fifth time you['ve] asked!"
-->'''Jon''': Yeah, well maybe it'd be the last time if you just ''fucking told me!''
* Jon's first action when the game gives him control of Jessica is to run away from the situation when he notes the sudden change in music. Even funnier is that Jessica, with no buildup or tells, just suddenly bolts. In her walking animation.
** Cue the sound of the hundred footsteps it takes for Jessica to walk the other side of the room compressed into a span of 3 seconds.
* The house's... strange decorations:
-->'''Jon''': Ah yes, there's nothing like a portrait of a skull with no eyes to really bring a home together!
** Followed by Jon having a similar painting on his own wall:
-->'''Jon''': This is actually an original Vincent Van Ghoul! ...people don't come over anymore.
* ''[[Music/MichaelJackson I'm being strangled by the man in the mirror!]] AHHHHGH!!!''
* When Scissorman first appears, Jon runs away, only run back when he thinks Scissorman [[SkewedPriorities might be]] [[Music/{{ACDC}} Angus Young]].
** And immediately before the Scissorman's first appearance, Jon says "I'm getting a bit sick of these dead ends, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor I just want the plot to progress already!"]]
* He hides from Scissorman by climbing up a ladder to a heightened area, and Scissorman walks away... Only to drop down from the ceiling directly above him seconds later.
-->'''Jon''': '''I did not factor in the Warp ability!'''
* The various times throughout when Jon attempts to leave the haunted house. Especially when he finds a car and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqIAVodYbJU the dialogue prompts him to stay to save the others left in the mansion]].
--> "But... the others..." ''([[http://gfycat.com/SneakyPastelArkshell considers the situation]])'' "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it!]]" ''(car peels out of garage explosively)''
** Made HilariousInHindsight given the fact that if he had chosen to flee in the car [[spoiler:the Scissorman would've killed him anyway.]]
* Jon is so disturbed by what he finds behind the curtain (a giant purple... thing), he vomits [[spoiler:'''candy corn''']]... which promptly breaks the scene, causing him and the cameraman to start {{corpsing}}. His second reaction is just as good:
-->'''Jon''': So can I start therapy now, or should I wait until the nightmares set in?
* The ending of the video:
** Jon being relieved after finishing the game, at peace with the fact that [[TemptingFate the game isn't actually real]] because, as he knows, [[spoiler:[[InsaneTrollLogic scissors don't actually exist]]]].
** Jon is horrified to find an article reading "SCISSOR ENTHUSIAST ESCAPES FROM ASYLUM - HEADING TO [=JONTRON=]'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW!"... [[spoiler:[[CompletelyMissingThePoint Because the article was cut out with scissors]].]]
** There's also the picture caption: [[spoiler:[=JONTRON=]'s HOUSE AND SOON TO BE MURDER SITE]]
** Jon trying to ward off [[spoiler:the Scissorman]]... [[TooDumbToLive with Caution tape]].
--->'''Jon''': (after [[spoiler:the Scissorman [[CuttingTheKnot cuts the tape]]]]) Oh no, ''that's all I had!''
** Jon [[spoiler:fights off the intruder with [[ChekhovsGun the ham he retrieved earlier in the video]].]]
--->'''Jon''': Looks like you're [[spoiler:out to lunch]].
** He then [[spoiler:stuffs the ham into a holster, only to question why he even has a holster since he doesn't have a gun. That second, a [[ChekhovsGag skeleton with a gun]] bursts from the closet and shoots wildly at Jon.]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Skeleton with a gun''': I've got a ''bone'' to pick with you!]]
*** Which is doubly funny if you recall from the "Offical JonTron MERCH!!" video that [[spoiler:he found a gun in his coffee can]]. More than likely, it's [[spoiler:the same gun]].
** Finally, [[spoiler:Jon [[MoodWhiplash remarks that]] [[BrickJoke people actually haven't come over]] in ''several'' years, and that was the last person who visited his house.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Are You Afraid of the Dark? Part 1]]
* Jon get's a little upset at not being able to tell his story to the 11PM society (because midnight is too late).
--> '''Jon''': Can I please just tell the story? [[NoodleIncident I didn't pretend to have been in Vietnam in multiple bars across the country]] to be treated like this.
** Well, to be fair, at least one of them has a reason to be upset:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual VCR Taker Guy]]'''[[note]]Dominic Moschitti[[/note]]: He said he had a bunch of free [=VCR=]s out here for us. And I though you may have been confused and meant to say [=DVD=] players, or [[TooDumbToLive maybe you didn't understand what you had]]. And I was coming to take that from you. So, pretty much, ''where's my shit''?
** Followed by:
--->'''[[AllThereInTheManual Real Ghost Guy]]'''[[note]]Nick Murphy[[/note]]:''' Hey, you guys want to see a picture of a real ghost? (holds up [[spoiler:a box of Boo Berry cereal]]) ([=VCR=] Taker Guy flinches)
** And then him trying to stoke the flames by throwing dust on it... [[EpicFail and discovering the hard way that the dust he brought may not have been dust...]]
-->'''Jon:''' OH JESUS OH... whozthat? Is this ''manganese!?'' I think I just got flashbanged! I can only see white... is that God?
-->'''11PM Society:''' ''(leaves in disgust)''
** And once he stops being blind (twenty minutes later):
--->'''Jon''': (happy) Hey, hey, hey, it's wearing off! Guys, I'm not blind anymore! (sees that everyone left) ... (disappointed) Now I wish I was...
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boFLIIZK28Q WOLF DISS]]''
* Jon's reaction to the cabbie saying he "sorta died"
--> '''Jon''': I don't think there's really an in-between on that.
* "Damn, I've never been burned that bad before by [[DullSurprise a piece of wood]]."
* Jon mocking the children screaming.
-->'''Jon:''' [[DullSurprise That's]] [[SarcasmMode one scared kid]].
* "They're dead. Two kids gonna die tonight." And later...
-->'''Vink''': ''(spins around in chair with eerie music)'' ...There is ''one way''.\\
'''Jon''': '''''TWO KIDS GON' DIE TONIGHT!'''''
* Jon pointing out some of the showmakers' names at the starting credits, and their rather severe case of NoPronunciationGuide.
-->'''Jon''': Re-Real... Proulx? Oh thank god we got the real one here, I'm sayin' - yeah, yeah! I see you, Fake Proulx. You get outta here!
* Jon [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUXjnVYBWDk mocking]] the SoundtrackDissonance while the younger boy is hanging from a cliff.
-->'''Jon''': I have a feeling the musical direction for this scene went a bit like this: "Oh okay, so the kid could possibly die in this scene, fall off the ledge, make a big splatter, so it's real morbid, it's real scary, y'know, just noodle around on the guitar a bit, ''(imitates guitar noises)'' Yeah don't worry about it, here's a loonie for your time, a toonie for your wife, [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes our]] ''[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes money's cartoon]], [[SuddenlyShouting OUR MILK'S IN BAGS-]] '''[[RageQuit SCREW IT,]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'M OUTTA HERE!]]''' (door slams)''"
* "Canadian Hagrid" showing the boys a hand in a jar, which is CensoredForComedy.
* The riddle involves something that has no weight, can be seen by the naked eye, and when it is put in a barrel, the barrel becomes lighter. [[spoiler:It's a hole.]]
-->'''Jon''': Halloween, it's gotta be candy, Three Musketeers, lightest candy bar, fuck you.
* When Jon points out that the younger boy's mouth movements barely match up what he's saying, he shows a clip of the boy talking, then adds, "I'm not sure what you're talking about", [[HongKongDub while his mouth movements hardly match what he's saying]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Are You Afraid of the Dark? Part 2]]
* Jon interprets the "creepy guy who tells riddles to kids"'s line as "BRAIMYUMLEAH"
** IT'S THE MOST FUN IN THE [[{{Mondegreen}} FUCK]] (AMBIGUOUS [[RougeAnglesOfSatin LAUGTHER]])
* Also, you have [[AerithAndBob Josh, Kathy]], and [[VideoGame/MarioIsMissing Weegee]].
-->'''Jon''': So Josh wins the dare, and... ''(sputters for a bit)'' Weegee, why is his name Weegee? This is ''not'' a name!
* Jon's reaction to the second basement scene:
-->'''Jon''': Alright, alright, c'mon, this isn't scary at all! I mean, how many times is he gonna dick around in the basement before something actually hap- ''(Sees [[UncannyValley the doll]])'' I think Imma have ta watch the rest of this one with the lights on.\\
''(Jon uses remote to raise the brightness on his TV, [[spoiler:then does the same pointing at himself, which raises the brightness of the video]].)''
* The third scene in the basement:
-->''(Generic stock music changes to weird clown music. Andy moves to the radio and tries adjusting the frequency.)''\\
'''Jon''': Aw yeah, weird clown music! Turn it up!\\
''(A man wearing circus clothes appears through the doorway)''\\
'''Circus Presenter''': Aww... Don't stop now, son. You're almost '''HERE'''!\\
''(Circus presenter is suddenly a skeleton and reaches out and grabs Andy's wrist)''\\
'''Skeleton''': What's the matter, Andy? Don't you wanna have some fun? ''[[{{LaughingMad}} Hahagnyahahaha!]]''\\
''(Cut to [[spoiler:scene overlaid with skeleton [=GIFs=] with an [[SensoryAbuse over-amplified]] "[[CallBack Spooky Scary Skeletons]]" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN-V9BjSR0E playing in the background]]]])''\\
'''Skeleton''': ''[[{{Randy Savage}} Oh yeah!]]''
* "No! Anything but Screamo!"
* The ending of the video. [[spoiler:The ending of the third episode, "Tale of the Dark Music", turned out to be legitimately terrifying, and not just NightmareRetardant like the last two. When the last episode had a moment that was ''almost'' scary, only to be made ridiculous moments later, Jon's reaction was "they blew it". So this time?]]
-->'''Jon''': Wait, what's this? He's got a new bike now? Well that doesn't make any sense. I mean, how did it- ''(watches the ending[[note]][[spoiler:The monster gave Andy the bike after eating the bully, and promises to give him anything he wants as long as he feeds him. The episode ends with the implication that '''''his sister is next to go'''''.]][[/note]] in StunnedSilence)'' [[spoiler:'''''[[MoodWhiplash They]] [[{{Understatement}} didn't]] [[BrickJoke blow it]].''''']]
** Immediately followed by [[spoiler:a credits sequence intentionally reminiscent of AYAOTD's own... [[MoodWhiplash where the credits image is that of]] [[BrickJoke the Boo Berry cereal box]]]].
* At one point, the kids are reading from newspaper articles about a fire. Jon calls this out as reading from the script, [[HypocriticalHumor while simultaneously reading a script that is shown to the viewer]].
** Jon's impersonation of Kathy.
--> "Ew, what a weird ''old guy.'' He ''died.''"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Plug and Play Consoles]]
* When looking at various bootlegs, he stumbles over one of the Justice League:
-->'''Jon''': Oh, and of course, don't forget everyone's favourite crime fighting alliance, "Sense of Right"! Everyone's here! ComicBook/{{Batman}}, ComicBook/{{Superman}}, Sh-WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}? A ''WesternAnimation/{{car|s}}''...? ''Ohhh noooo...''
* The first ripoff console he looks at, the "[=GameFillip=]", advertises as a selling point: "NEW version with audio/video cable".
-->'''Jon''': This thing has the ''audacity'' to promote, as a selling point, that it comes with AV cables. Yeah, don't even get me started on the ''previous version''.\\
''(Cut to Jon taking down a box labelled "Old [=GameFillip=]", and opening it to reveal some crayons, a dead fish with cigarettes in and around its mouth, and a mixtape labelled "Booty Jams")''\\
'''Jon''': ''(nods)'' I can make this work.
* For the first console, Jon's crack about the unfortunate angle of the picture of the child on its front cover, which makes him appear to [[NoNeckChump have no neck]].
-->'''Jon''': Perfect for children with no necks!
** Followed by him pretending he has no neck and saying "Finally, a game system for me!"
* One of the consoles Jon plays (the 76000 in 1 console to be exact) has a game called "WesternAnimation/ToyStory". [[NeverTrustATitle It turns out to be a completely different game entitled "Circus Charlie".]]
-->'''Jon''': Circus Charlie, huh? I don't remember this from the movie.
* When Jon opens the ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros'' clone, the title screen reads "Mr. Mary".
-->'''Jon''': I have ''several'' questions.
* His note of the monkey peering over the "Hitting Mices" logo on the first game of the Pro Player Games' title screen. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Which would hint at his reactions to the certain other games on the console's title screens later on]]:
-->'''Jon:''' [[DissonantSerenity Ohhh, complete with]] [[NightmareFuel nightmare]].
* The title screen for "Edacity Snakes" has a [[Disney/TheJungleBook Kaa]] clone on it.
-->'''Jon''': They used the same exact snake except that this time he looks like he peed on the rug and got in trouble for it. Bad snake! Bad! You're copyrighted!
** His reaction to the game itself (a Snake clone)
-->'''Jon''': It's Snake.. it's fucking.. it's [[SuddenlyShouting FUCKING SHITTY ASS SNAKE!!!]] (door slam) OK I am not leaving until somebody tells me where "edacity" fits in to all this. Better move on to the next game [[TemptingFate before I get a goddamn coronary]].
** Followed by him turning on the game "Pop Monster", with its rather creepy monster in the title screen.
-->'''Jon''': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnSzrZcIxdU I'm going. I'm going.]]
* Jon pointing out the game "Stub Game", "or as I like to call it, [[SuddenlyShouting STACKING FUCKING CANS]]".
* Jon's reaction to a game he thought was about Ancient Chinese warfare, but was actually just another shitty puzzle game:
--->'''Jon''': It's...it's awful. ''[[SuddenlyShouting It's all fucking awful!]] All if it! All of 'em!'' '''EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ''SUCKS!'''''
* Jon playing 'Brave Boy'.
-->'''Jon''': *Holding up a sword* "I'm a brave boy."
-->*Cut to a shot of the protagonist giving the monster a bath.*
-->'''Jon''': *Tosses sword over his shoulder* "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a brave enough boy for THIS!]]"
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "I want a bath, motherfucker!"]]
* "''Magical Kitchen'': Surprise, it's hell on earth, it's bouncing suicidal fruit and a spatula '''NECKST'''."
* The ending: [[spoiler:Jon himself becomes a bootleg master with the help of Music/MichaelJackson]].
[[/folder]]
!!Shorts
[[folder:JonTron State of Affairs]]
* "JonTron State of Affairs", aside from being a reassurance that he hasn't stopped unannounced, also contains some funny moments, both scripted and non.
** Jacques attempts to bite Jon's lip repeatedly. Once he gets tired of it, he moves him to his hand. Where he then poops. Jon moves him to the computer monitor, citing that he can't cause much trouble there. Jacques proceeds to ''flutter off of it and behind the computer.'' Jon just gives up and doesn't have him in the rest of the video.
** At one point Jon is interrupted by Jacques plummeting from the monitor, next shot is of Jon's back to the camera as he says in a pseudo-baby voice, "Did ya fall down over hurr?"
** Jon dancing a little boogie in front of his favorite Halal food cart, [[SoundtrackDissonance while "Nessun Dorma" blares in the background.]]
** "I wanna make the videos for ya, but I'm not fast enough, [[CrossesTheLineTwice daddy, stop beatin me, please]]!"
** "YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT YOU WILL [[RougeAnglesOfSatin PAT]] FOR THIS"
** "You know, I'm the little guy! I'm the Mom-and-Pop shop, that's who you're yelling at! You're going to Mama Roroso's at the corner bakery and saying 'Fuck you! Not as much pepperoni on this pizza as the other place, Pizza Hut!'"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Magfest 2014]]
* The video opens with Jon having [[spoiler:Creator/DavidTennant]] over for [[spoiler:Jesus' birthday]]... and then [[spoiler:killing Creator/MattSmith over what he did to David in "The End of Time"]].[[note]]There's also the fact that [[spoiler:they're all cardboard cutouts]].[[/note]]
* "[[spoiler:I also have a Kim-Jong Il one; I didn't use him for the video. (draws a Hitler moustache on it)]]"
** [[spoiler:He also punches him in the face.]]
* Trying to get [[spoiler:David]] to [[spoiler:say "Allons-y!"... by smacking his crotch.]]
* His decision to sing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" as he begins [[spoiler:cutting up Matt's body in the shower]].
* Just the fact that the video [[GilliganCut abruptly]] cuts from Jon [[spoiler:dumping a duffle bag containing Matt in the river]] to [[MoodWhiplash Jon announcing he's going to Magfest]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Diablo III Hardcore!]]
* Jon's favorite ''VideoGame/DiabloIII'' class: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_qFk9pKsAQ Sword class.]] [[labelnote:*]]Cue character made entirely out of swords. Using ''a gun''.[[/labelnote]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:CONKER IS TOTALLY BACK GUYS]]
* Jon's reaction to [[VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay Conker]] appearing in [[VideoGame/ProjectSpark Project Spark]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t_Co0gfj18 All of it]]
** To specify: [[spoiler:He flushes his X-Box games down the toilet and then proceeds to stab the XBoxOne in its box with a kitchen knife. [[LaughingMad Laughing the entire time.]]]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:How to Play Valiant Hearts]]
* Despite being a sponsored video, the VideoGame/ValiantHearts video is still unbelievably hilarious.
** Prince Franz Ferdinand:
--> '''Narrator''': After the assassination of Prince Franz Ferdinand...\\
'''Jon''': That's horrible, I don't like [[Music/FranzFerdinand that band]] that much anyway, though.
** The first in-game step:
--> '''Jon''': First step: Don't g- don't go to war. [[{{Foreshadowing}} Not a good idea]].
*** Later...
--> '''Jon''': I don't even have to listen to you, do I? You're just gonna keep doing that, alright, I'm going the other way ''[turns around, walks away from building]'' Fuck this, I'm not doing the war, fuck you! Yeah, step four, didn't change, don't go to war! I'm serious! Get outta here, this is not- this is- ''[reaches invisible wall]'' oh ''nooo''...! ''[{{beat}}]'' Step 5: You gotta go to war.
* Or this bit:
-->'''Narrator:''' The German Empire declares war on Russia.
-->'''Jon:''' Heh. Yeah, what else is new.
-->'''Narrator:''' France is preparing for conflict.
-->'''Jon:''' Okay, now ''that's'' new.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Offical JonTron MERCH!!]]
* Jon wakes up and brews a cup of JonTron Coffee. The blend? The "ECH Roast".
* The coffee commercial being abruptly cut off with Jon's face suddenly falling and a record scratch.
--> '''Jon:''' Aw, ''crap.'' This commercial is supposed to be for that shirt over there...and that other shirt...and that exclusive shirt that girl is modeling right now...
* Jon realizes he doesn't even own a coffee company. Now curious he reaches into the can of ECH Roast...
--> '''Jon:''' Wait a second. I don't even own a coffee company. ''*Slowly pulls a gun out of the coffee can*'' [[MoodWhiplash There's just a g--there's a gun in here...]]
* A bit meta, but this tweet from the site hosting said merchandise after the video launched.
--> ''We’re sorry, [=@JonTronShow=] dropped an [=EchBomb=] on our server. We’re bolting everything down."
[[/folder]]
[[folder:A [=JonTron=]'s Winter Tale]]
* Despite being a short promo video for TheMerch, the punchline is ''hilarious''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xtmUhWUFjA View here]].
[[/folder]]
