History Funny / JonTronSeasonOne

** "[[Film/IngloriousBasterds Nein, nein, nein,]] [[IncrediblyLamePun nein, nein,]] [[{{Mondegreen}} nein, nein!!]]"

(''cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace'')\\

* "My favorite publisher: Absolute'''ly''' copied Sierra's logo!

-->'''Jon''': WAIT, I LIED! I was NOT ready for anything! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope SO MUCH NOPE. [Accompanied by splatters of that string of "Nopes" that fill the screen]

-->'''Cedric'': Graham, watch out! A [[MemeticMutation POI]]sonous snake!

'''Season 1''' | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonTwo Season 2]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonThree Season 3]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonFour Season 4]]

* "Apparently the developers forgot that if you swim at certain angles [[SpecialEffectsFailure you can give Aquaman a bald spot]]! [[{{Squick}} EEEUHGHGHG]]! Aquaman, King of Atlantis and Conqueror of Rogaine. I QUIT. [[{{Angrish}} GHHHHUGH]]!"

* Jon as he describes the games creator, Don Bluth.

-->''[beat]''

--> '''Jon:''' Issa Space Ace! Iss for the ''SUPER'' NINTENDO. I - ''[drops the game on the floor]'' - ahhh!
* "It's Ace, our titular hero, Kimberly, the stereotypical damsel in distress, and Borf, the blue dude...he’s fuckin' blue, [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext here's a list of tax receipts]]."

* '''"HMM HMM?"'''
** "Hmm hmm. (''exasperated gasp'') '''''HMM HMM?!'''''"

-->'''Jon''': No, I- what kind of death sound is this? I-I can’t even get over it! I think this is the absolute fastest a game has left me speechless. [[{{Angrish}} Literally, with the motherfuckin']] ''[[{{Angrish}} humming]]'' [[{{Angrish}} and the...]] ''bring on the Mariachi band!'' [Music/FleshgodApocalypse - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPsBevd6V5w Embodied Deception]] plays while the background is set on fire] *angrily* That's not Mariachi!
* Space Maze [[VisualPun (Pictures of corn in space appear as a laugh track plays)]]

* Jon asks for a high-five. [[spoiler: Jacques slaps Jon with a mouse-cursor hand...somehow.]]

-->''[=[=][[spoiler:Jacques [[UnexplainedRecovery just comes back]]]], accompanied by a powerup SFX from SuperMarioBros]''

* In his ''VideoGame/SonicR'' review, Jon demonstrated how [[SoundtrackDissonance goofy the soundtrack was]] by playing the cheerfully upbeat "Can You Feel The Sunshine?" over a scene in VideoGame/GodOfWar where somebody gets eaten by a Hydra.

** It's even funnier when it turns out that ''this is the part of the game that he enjoys the most'', in spite of the InternetBackdraft against the mini-game.

* Jon doesn't take the Lord of Games [[TakeThat firing shots at]] ''Banjo-Kazooie'' very lightly.

-->'''Jon''': Yeah, we should sue. [[note]]But they never dooooooooo.[[/note]]

-->'''Narrator''': Once upon a time, there was a land that had no heroes. Crime ran amok, people, they were stuck in dead-end jobs, sometimes in dirt, gravel or molasses. And then, there was light, from the hilltops, a shadowy figure emerged. He was light, but also shadow. [[SuperPowerLottery He also had super strength, was made of metal, and had the properties of water.]] Yeah, that's him right there. It was [=JonTron=] Man and his trusty falcon, Greased Lightning. [[note]][[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yes, that is really their names.]][[/note]] Together, they had really good hair. ''(makes sound effects as they fight villains)'' And then they made a billion dollars.

-->'''Jon''': Yeah, we should sue. [[note]]They never do.[[/note]]

* Also doubles as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, but the [[ItMakesSenseInContext following line of his]] [[Film/TheLostWorldJurassicPark "The Lost World" review]] (a ''Christmas'' review, mind you):

-->'''Jontron''': Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ''([[Franchise/{{Godzilla}} breathes atomic fire]] as he screams)''

-->'''Narrator''': Once upon a time, there was a land that had no heroes. Crime ran amok, people, they were stuck in dead-end jobs, sometimes in dirt, gravel or molasses. And then, there was light, from the hilltops, a shadowy figure emerged. He was light, but also shadow. [[SuperPowerLottery He also had super strength, was made of metal, and had the properties of water.]] Yeah, that's him right there. It was JonTron Man and his trusty falcon, Greased Lightning. [[note]][[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yes, that is really their names.]][[/note]] Together, they had really good hair. ''(makes sound effects as they fight villains)'' And then they made a billion dollars.

-->'''Jon''': Fool me once -- I'm mad. Fool me twice -- How could you? Fool me three times -- You're officially that guy, okay? You know him, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like, ''[pompous {{Jerkass}} voice]'' "This suit is a -- officially- - it's a Giorgio Armani. Actually, m'dad knows him!" ''[normal voice]'' '''FUCK YOU!''' ''[spontaneously bursts into song and gains the mannerisms of a SassyBlackWoman]'' ♪ '''''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LIC8r9zf0U I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT!]]''''' ♪ ''[[[{{Corpsing}} cracks a small grin]]]'' [[note]]Years later, Jon doesn't even recall if he scripted that line or not. It was in between. He scripted it, never to break out into song like he did, using this as a reference to how a lot of the fan favorite [=JonTron=] lines are improvised.[[/note]]

* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I GIVE UP THAT'S IT]]

* [[AC: [[GraveHumor But I Didn't Die Though It Was A Joke]]]]

--> '''Jon:''' [throws cartridge at NES] Uh, I don't think [[SmashCut we're-]]
* Jon's priceless reaction to finding his popularity increased after killing a random policeman. By basically saying an "Okay..." in disbelief... while inserting a mugshot of a very derpy donkey. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drMWcYQ3iAo Just see for yourself.]]

* "Nightshade likes it to be night. In the shade. Doesn't wanna acknowledge curtains-''[[LeftItIn uh fuck cut that, just cut that whole...]]''"

* [Trying to pick up a crowbar] "A don't do it, and B don't do it, so what do it? [[UsefulNotes/{{NintendoEntertainmentSystem}} This controller]] only got 2-it...dem buttons..." [Caption to sped-up VideoGame/SuperMario3DLand music: [[DontExplainTheJoke THATWASAJOKETHX4COMING]]]

* His inability to pronounce Sutekh's name, so he called him "HUEGH" or "HEUGH". The second time he did it seems to also gain a little bit memetic status due to how hilarious he delivered it:

-->'''Jon''' (raising and shaking one hand): DAMN YOU, '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JThq26BZDxU HUEGH]]'''!

* '''''SHIET.'''''

* His [[{{Angrish}} reaction]] to the Bafomdad from the ''Starfox Adventures'' game. Just [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al6t1Q0Jd6Q watch.]]

-->'''Jon''': He's got the eyes of Muhammad Ali... and the butt of Bea Arthur.

* "That there is a Wilford Brimley impression. My pancreas doesn't work." [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgP5nfdPV6c (ORIGINAL JOKE)]]

--> '''Jon:''' ''Oh, no...'' ''I really bit the '''''[[SuddenlyShouting BIG ONE AGAIN]]!'''''