History Funny / JessicaJones2015

[[folder:Episode 11 - "AKA Hellcat"]]
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[[folder:Episode 12 - "AKA A Lotta Worms"]]
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[[folder:Episode 13 - "AKA Everything"]]
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-->'''Dorothy:''' What a hideous piece of furniture.
-->'''Jessica:''' (''defiantly'') [[BlatantLies I love it.]]

-->'''Sallinger:''' (''to the hand'') ... do I know you?

-->'''Dorothy''': (horrified) ... Oh, no!
-->'''Jessica''': I know.
-->'''Dorothy''': [[SkewedPriorities That costume is a disaster!]]

-->'''Jessica''': ... [[ThisIsGonnaSuck So I am screwed]].

-->''''Jessica''': I know.

* A video of Jessica throwing a guy at the beach is posted online with the title "Chick uses superpowers to toss old dude into sandcastle!" by SurfBrah1995. People she meets [[NeverLiveItDown keep bringing this up]].

* Kilgrave in the final confrontation after Jessica removes her hood: [[spoiler:"Oh for God's sake, it's Patsy!"]]

* Almost everything out of [[spoiler:Claire's]] mouth once [[spoiler:she realizes she is dealing with another "gifted".]]

--->'''[[spoiler:Claire]]:''' I want everything to be my fault. Good or bad. Means I have some control.\\

'''Claire:''' Obviously. But it keeps me dreaming that I can change things for people. Case in point. ''[points at [[spoiler:an unconscious Luke]]]''\\

* In a dark sort of way, Kilgrave finally lives up to his comic book name, The Purple Man, [[spoiler:when Jessica is choking him long enough for his face to turn purple.]]

** Her rant eventually ends with her throwing up [[spoiler: from withdrawal symptoms as a result of being off Simpson's inhaler]]. After Trish leaves, the maitre'd has this to say:

'''Malcolm Ducasse:''' I just said good morning. [[DidYouJustHaveSex It doesn't take a PI or a PI's associate to recognize the walk of shame:]] you left your phone here last night, you got some serious bedhead going on and you're covered in paint. [[DoubleEntendre Banging the super, huh?]][[note]]Which is funniner because it can be taken both ways: Jessica, the superhero, is banging Oscar; or Jessica is banging the building superintendant[[/note]]

* [[spoiler:Hallucination!Kilgrave]] singing 'I want your Cray Cray', in a very high pitch tone.
** Hell, most of what [[spoiler:Jessica's hallucination of Kilgrave]] says or does CrossesTheLineTwice so much so that it's so LaughablyEvil compared to [[spoiler:the actual Kilgrave]].

* The fact that Sallinger kept on display, among his multitude of genuine awards and achievements, a "most improved player" trophy. Apparently no stroking of his ego, however miniscule, can be spared!

** It takes a lot of painful training on a playground before she's able to do complicated athletic moves, and after sticking her first backflip she's adorably proud of herself.

-->'''Kilgrave:''' Arseholes try. I just ''do''. Put that out. ''[Harvey drops the match and his cigar into a glass of whiskey. The dealer begins dealing cards]''\\
'''Dealer:''' ''[passing out cards]'' Okay, gentlemen, who's feeling lucky?\\

'''Kilgrave:''' Oh! I guess that makes me the winner! ''[shows his cards: a seven of clubs and a red two of hearts]'' And me with a deuce and a seven! ''[waves over one of the attendants]'' Will you pack this money for me? You'll be dining out on this story for years: the night you lost a million dollars to the worst hand you had ever seen. ''[laughs and gets up]''[[note]]In Texas Hold 'Em, an off-suit two and seven is literally the worst hand possible.[[/note]]\\

* Following her one-night stand with Oscar, Jessica's embarrassment when she wakes up in his bed and finds him painting her sleeping form.

'''Malcolm Ducasse:''' I just said good morning. [[DidYouJustHaveSex It doesn't take a PI or a PI's associate to recognize the walk of shame:]] you left your phone here last night, you got some serious bedhead going on and you're covered in paint. [[DoubleEntendre Banging the super, huh?]][[note]]Which can be taken either way: Jessica, the superhero, is banging Oscar; or Jessica is banging the building superintendant[[/note]]

* The flashback scene with Alisa and Karl is mostly bittersweet, but it does have a couple of good moments, such as [[TheStoner Karl]] admitting he got over his phobia of the ocean cause he needed weed money, and Alisa indulging in some snark that would make her daughter proud:

* Hogarth's whole purchase of a gun from [[ButtMonkey Turk Barrett]]. Notable for being the only time we've ever seen Turk ''not'' suffer some misfortune.

** When Jessica shows the photo she has of the fake "Leslie Hansen," Sally demands payment for every bit of information. Trish pays a few $100s, "for the wigs I tore up," but is told that won't cover synthetic hair, so has to fork over another $100 to get Sally to talk. After a number of questions, they ask her what else she knows, to which she replies that she doesn't have anything else...after getting paid another $100.

* David Tennant has revealed the shot of him licking Jessica's face was filmed shortly after he first met Krysten Ritter, [[MeanCharacterNiceActor and he profusely apologized afterwards while she was a complete pro about it.]]

-->'''Robyn:''' ''(about Hope "stabbing herself")'' I hate mental illness

** She finds Inez has eaten some of her expensive truffles.\\
'''Jeri Hogarth:''' Glad to see you're enjoying my gold-leaf truffles from Switzerland.\\

'''Malcolm Ducasse:''' I just said good morning. [[DidYouJustHaveSex It doesn't take a PI or a PI's associate to recognize the walk of shame:]] you left your phone here last night, you got some serious bedhead going on and you're covered in paint. Banging the super, huh?[[note]] This is especially funny considering that Jessica's supposed to be the "super" in the scenario.[[/note]]

'''Jeri Hogarth:''' It's a church. She means "Jesus".[[note]]It's the location of St. Ignatius Loyola Church[[/note]]\\

--->'''Jeri Hogarth:''' Glad to see you're enjoying my gold-leaf truffles from Switzerland.\\
'''Inez Green:''' Ah. That's why they taste like rusty nails.

** Jessica's message to Trish after this: "Don't call, don't send messages [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and don't send strange men to my apartment with power tools!]]"

* When Jessica acts abrasively to a mechanic she thinks has been sent by Kilgrave, but who turns out to actually have been sent by Trish to fix Jessica's door:
-->'''Mechanic:''' Rude girl is lonely girl!\\