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Changed line(s) 512,513 (click to see context) from:
* The party is lured into a dead end alleyway to trap Artie, and are met with a Gith bounty hunter who insists Artie reveal his hair.
-->'''Artie:''' I need to see your hair!
-->'''Artie:''' I need to see your hair!
to:
* The party is lured into a dead end alleyway to trap Artie, and are met with a Gith giff bounty hunter who insists Artie reveal his hair.
-->'''Artie:''' I need to seeyour ''your'' hair!
-->'''Artie:''' I need to see
Changed line(s) 516,517 (click to see context) from:
** They're cornered by the Gith's partner, a plasmoid who forms a mouth with a tongue and teeth. Artie declares he's seen it before, but can't remember if it was a dream or a nightmare.
to:
** They're cornered by one of the Gith's partner, giff's partners, a plasmoid who forms a mouth with a tongue and teeth. Artie declares he's seen it before, but can't remember if it was a dream or a nightmare.
nightmare.
[[AC: Episode 122 - It's Their Group of Three Screw-Ups Versus Ours]]
* The plasmoid is listed as "Big Fucking Plasmoid" in the cast's dice roller. It also makes a realistic toothy mouth to bite down on Jyll, which grosses everybody out.
-->'''Anna:''' Artie you have enver been so displeased to seean open mouth behind you.
* The giff has a crossbow-like weapon that actually fires stakes. Wyn complains that she would've been useful against the vampires.
* Thanks to the Well of Infinity, Artie and the others can spend an inspiration to briefly pull an alternate universe on top of theirs and make an opponent fail a roll on a [=d20=]. To make the toothy plasmoid miss, Artie suggests he was a dentist in another life. Cue Annie and Maq [[Theatre/LittleShopOfHorrors singing]].
* Artie pronounces it "Jiff", invoking the age-old meme.
-->'''Annie:''' They don't know where their homeworld is, they don't even know what it's called!
[[AC: Episode 122 - It's Their Group of Three Screw-Ups Versus Ours]]
* The plasmoid is listed as "Big Fucking Plasmoid" in the cast's dice roller. It also makes a realistic toothy mouth to bite down on Jyll, which grosses everybody out.
-->'''Anna:''' Artie you have enver been so displeased to seean open mouth behind you.
* The giff has a crossbow-like weapon that actually fires stakes. Wyn complains that she would've been useful against the vampires.
* Thanks to the Well of Infinity, Artie and the others can spend an inspiration to briefly pull an alternate universe on top of theirs and make an opponent fail a roll on a [=d20=]. To make the toothy plasmoid miss, Artie suggests he was a dentist in another life. Cue Annie and Maq [[Theatre/LittleShopOfHorrors singing]].
* Artie pronounces it "Jiff", invoking the age-old meme.
-->'''Annie:''' They don't know where their homeworld is, they don't even know what it's called!
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[[AC: Episode 121 - Arnie's New Hat]]
* Jyll can only handle ten minutes of gossip with Artie before she leaves, so he ends up sulking in a bath on the trip to Port Meridian because Aelfgifu's departure is still so fresh for him. Lachlan comes in to see how he's doing, dipping his hand into the water so Artie knows he's there. Artie just bites him, but Lachlan's got thick skin so he's barely phased.
* Lachlan shoots Jyll finger guns as they split up to take care of their personal tasks, and Jyll does it back, then balks as she has *no idea* what that means.
* Artie says Wyn and Jyll look *pale*, which throughs them for a loop since they both have dark skin. Artie's response is basically "yes, that's pale, and I'm blue."
* Jyll recieves notification that her request to view the Ethlan relics kept by the Broken Palace has been denied. Wyn asks if Artie would be able to seduce the Prince to try and change his mind, and Artie excitedly declares he could. "Sexy heist!"
* They decide the best way to disguise Artie from any bounty hunters is to get him a fancy hat, and decide to get their own hats as well. It doesn't take them long to find a haberdasher, which is great because it's an opportunity to say the word [[InherentlyFunnyWords "haberdasher"]]. Also, to keep himself "in disguise", Artie insists that his name is "Arnie".
* The party is lured into a dead end alleyway to trap Artie, and are met with a Gith bounty hunter who insists Artie reveal his hair.
-->'''Artie:''' I need to see your hair!
'''Gith:''' I - I don't have any hair.\\
'''Artie:''' Exactly!
** They're cornered by the Gith's partner, a plasmoid who forms a mouth with a tongue and teeth. Artie declares he's seen it before, but can't remember if it was a dream or a nightmare.
* Jyll can only handle ten minutes of gossip with Artie before she leaves, so he ends up sulking in a bath on the trip to Port Meridian because Aelfgifu's departure is still so fresh for him. Lachlan comes in to see how he's doing, dipping his hand into the water so Artie knows he's there. Artie just bites him, but Lachlan's got thick skin so he's barely phased.
* Lachlan shoots Jyll finger guns as they split up to take care of their personal tasks, and Jyll does it back, then balks as she has *no idea* what that means.
* Artie says Wyn and Jyll look *pale*, which throughs them for a loop since they both have dark skin. Artie's response is basically "yes, that's pale, and I'm blue."
* Jyll recieves notification that her request to view the Ethlan relics kept by the Broken Palace has been denied. Wyn asks if Artie would be able to seduce the Prince to try and change his mind, and Artie excitedly declares he could. "Sexy heist!"
* They decide the best way to disguise Artie from any bounty hunters is to get him a fancy hat, and decide to get their own hats as well. It doesn't take them long to find a haberdasher, which is great because it's an opportunity to say the word [[InherentlyFunnyWords "haberdasher"]]. Also, to keep himself "in disguise", Artie insists that his name is "Arnie".
* The party is lured into a dead end alleyway to trap Artie, and are met with a Gith bounty hunter who insists Artie reveal his hair.
-->'''Artie:''' I need to see your hair!
'''Gith:''' I - I don't have any hair.\\
'''Artie:''' Exactly!
** They're cornered by the Gith's partner, a plasmoid who forms a mouth with a tongue and teeth. Artie declares he's seen it before, but can't remember if it was a dream or a nightmare.
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[[AC: Episode 120 - Late Night Casseroles]]
* Lachlan apologizes for snapping at Jyll while they were sparing at the temple, and Jyll says she didn't mind...then gets incredibly awkward when she realizes what she's saying and tries to change the subject as soon as possible.
* Jyll shows Lachlan around the town, which Annie describes as "a full Hallmark Christmas movie montage".
* Lachlan shows Jyll a chart where he's put together all manner of exactly five-word sentences so that when he's Sending with her he can create a perfect twnety-five word message. They're sorted into things like "greetings", "orders", "updates", etc. Under the "Sentiments" column, he's got a whole bunch that include "I love you". When Jyll spots this, he tries to grab the book back and instists they say "I care about you", but Jyll points out with the other words in his sentence it breaks the wordcount.
** When she says "I love you" back and she starts adding more five word sentences that include the phrase, one of them is "I love my dork-ass boyfriend". That sets off an entire conversation and revelation about compound words only counting as one for the spell, the Sender's intent, how numerals work, how to use numerals to encode very long messages, and between this all they get so turned on that they endup renting a room for their first time together.
* While Jyll and Lachlan are getting together, Wyn detects it in the middle of cocoa and snacks with her mom. Artie does too (like a shark smelling blood), bolts upright from sleep, fistbumps Wyn, then immediately falls back to sleep.
** The episode title comes from how elves must have such different day-night cycles from other species because they only sleep four hours, and it probably involves a lot of late-night casseroles.
** In the morning, Artie is baffled by their breakfast because it involves hollandaise sauce, hashed browns, and pyjamas.
* Wyn and Artie try to leave, but get involved in a midwestern goodbye on the doorstep that takes so long that the Kestrel shows up while they're still there. Mr. Hurst lowers the gangplank and, because he's so nice, he happily lets Wyn take her entire family come onboard to explore the ship. This lasts another hour and a half, and includes the kitchen being raided, Finn teaching the kids sign-language, and Megwen giving Bondar a distressingly-friendly dressing down that leaves the Captain looking ''terrified''.
** Partway through this description, Maq interrupts to declare that the ASL-sign for casserole looks like a person holding a massive dish.
** Wyn tells Veli that Jyll and Lachlan got laid last night.
-->'''Veli:''' Excellent. I'm sure they will have many stories for us if we can get them out of them.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's going to be the hard part!\\
''*{{beat}}*''\\
'''Veli:''' That's not the only thing that's really hard.
* Jyll's not as experienced as Lachlan is with intimacy, but she figures they must be great together because as they were leaving the tavern everyone applauds for them.
* When they're back on board Wyn immediately asks "Hey how'd the fuckin' go?", making them both freeze in embarassment.
** Jyll rushes to her room to go die of shame, throws the door open, and there's Artie looking contemplative.
-->'''Artie:''' So.\\
'''Jyll:''' Hi.\\
'''Artie:''' How was it?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know what you're talking about.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh Jyll. You think I can't smell it?\\
'''Jyll:''' ''Oh god I need to take a shower.''\\
'''Artie:''' How big was his dick?!\\
''*cue ending theme*''
* Lachlan apologizes for snapping at Jyll while they were sparing at the temple, and Jyll says she didn't mind...then gets incredibly awkward when she realizes what she's saying and tries to change the subject as soon as possible.
* Jyll shows Lachlan around the town, which Annie describes as "a full Hallmark Christmas movie montage".
* Lachlan shows Jyll a chart where he's put together all manner of exactly five-word sentences so that when he's Sending with her he can create a perfect twnety-five word message. They're sorted into things like "greetings", "orders", "updates", etc. Under the "Sentiments" column, he's got a whole bunch that include "I love you". When Jyll spots this, he tries to grab the book back and instists they say "I care about you", but Jyll points out with the other words in his sentence it breaks the wordcount.
** When she says "I love you" back and she starts adding more five word sentences that include the phrase, one of them is "I love my dork-ass boyfriend". That sets off an entire conversation and revelation about compound words only counting as one for the spell, the Sender's intent, how numerals work, how to use numerals to encode very long messages, and between this all they get so turned on that they endup renting a room for their first time together.
* While Jyll and Lachlan are getting together, Wyn detects it in the middle of cocoa and snacks with her mom. Artie does too (like a shark smelling blood), bolts upright from sleep, fistbumps Wyn, then immediately falls back to sleep.
** The episode title comes from how elves must have such different day-night cycles from other species because they only sleep four hours, and it probably involves a lot of late-night casseroles.
** In the morning, Artie is baffled by their breakfast because it involves hollandaise sauce, hashed browns, and pyjamas.
* Wyn and Artie try to leave, but get involved in a midwestern goodbye on the doorstep that takes so long that the Kestrel shows up while they're still there. Mr. Hurst lowers the gangplank and, because he's so nice, he happily lets Wyn take her entire family come onboard to explore the ship. This lasts another hour and a half, and includes the kitchen being raided, Finn teaching the kids sign-language, and Megwen giving Bondar a distressingly-friendly dressing down that leaves the Captain looking ''terrified''.
** Partway through this description, Maq interrupts to declare that the ASL-sign for casserole looks like a person holding a massive dish.
** Wyn tells Veli that Jyll and Lachlan got laid last night.
-->'''Veli:''' Excellent. I'm sure they will have many stories for us if we can get them out of them.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's going to be the hard part!\\
''*{{beat}}*''\\
'''Veli:''' That's not the only thing that's really hard.
* Jyll's not as experienced as Lachlan is with intimacy, but she figures they must be great together because as they were leaving the tavern everyone applauds for them.
* When they're back on board Wyn immediately asks "Hey how'd the fuckin' go?", making them both freeze in embarassment.
** Jyll rushes to her room to go die of shame, throws the door open, and there's Artie looking contemplative.
-->'''Artie:''' So.\\
'''Jyll:''' Hi.\\
'''Artie:''' How was it?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know what you're talking about.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh Jyll. You think I can't smell it?\\
'''Jyll:''' ''Oh god I need to take a shower.''\\
'''Artie:''' How big was his dick?!\\
''*cue ending theme*''
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Click [[Funny/{{Jemjammer}} here]] to return to the main funny page, and [[Funny/JemjammerEpisodes1To99 here]] for funny moments from before episode 100.
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[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder: The Crystal Dream Palace (episodes 100-106)]]
[[AC: Episode 100 - The Jemjammer 100th Episode Crystal Millennium Spectacular]]
* Anna states that even though this is a side episode, it's "technically canon and does take place at the same time, but in a sort of side-y way".
-->'''Annie:''' I feel like some ''Ring'' shenanigans are gonna be at foot here.\\
'''Alexi:''' It was all a dream.\\
'''Maq:''' [[WaxingLyrical But in dreams, the evening staaAAAR!]]\\
'''Anna:''' Something like that.
* Jylliana thinks the situation is a dream, mumbling that it must be the last day of class before final. Artie doesn't know what a "class" is, and also says if it was a dream he'd be fully naked.
* Jyll and Aelfgifu are unsure how to feel about getting spirited away, since last time that happened...mixed feelings.
-->'''Jyll:''' I swear to Ethla if there's another Death's Head at the end who has riddles for us...
** Determining that the goal in this space is to rescue a princess and kiss her, Wyn says that unless the princess is a dragon she's only moderately interested. Jyll and Aelfgifu demand the chance to kiss her since they've never been able to. Artie thinks he should do it, since he's done it before and the other two might "mess it up". Ultimately Jyll suggests the three form a queue once they find her.
* Aelfgifu suggests moving through the doors anti-clockwise "just to be perverse".
-->'''Rio:''' I always want to go to the left.\\
'''Annie:''' Oh, because you have a ''Film/{{Zoolander}}'' problem?\\
'''Rio:''' No I was just thinking..."[[Music/{{Beyonce}} to the left, to the left]]"...
* The party enters a room with a statue bearing the sign "show me nothing but wealth", and a variety of treasure and junk mixed together. They determine pretty quickly it's a SecretTestOfCharacter, but aren't quite sure how to proceed. Eventually they land on tossing some treasure and some junk into a pit in the centre of the room to see what happens.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I do like throwing things.\\
'''Jyll:'''You do like throwings things.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''And I like tossing things in pits. Maybe this is why it's my room.\\
'''Jyll:'''Just like the Nasty Pit.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''I used to throw all ''kinds'' of things into the Nasty Pit!
[[AC: Episode 101 - The Revenge of the Nasty Pit]]
* While Jyll and Wyn try to figure out what to do, the crystal elementals wait around patiently. TalkingIsAFreeAction, after all.
* Anna compares the crystal elementals exploding into shrapnel to Sonic losing his rings when he's hit. Then everyone realizes the enemies are all blue and spikey, so in a sense they're just fighting a bunch of Sonic [=OCs=].
** Anna later describes them in a way that Annie thinks they're arachnids. Anna counters that they can't be arachnids, they don't have exoskeletons - or any skeletons for that matter.
* Artie has a glaive with the "reach" property. Artie doesn't know what that means in-universe, so he still goes in for close-range hits.
-->'''Anna:''' If you had used the reach capacity of your weapon to stretch out and hit it you wouldn't have had to make the save.\\
'''Rio:''' Yeah I know.\\
'''Annie:'''...okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I, Rio, the player knows. Artie, the character, is a big dumb boi!
* The shattered elementals do look valuable in their inert crystal form.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Aelfgifu, what's your personal perspective on crystal spider chunks? On a scale from 1 to wealth?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' They look good, I want them, they look shiny, but I don't know if that means I get to keep them or if I gotta chuck them in the hole.
** They decide to search the room further in case there are items of a more personal value to Aelfgifu, like whittled deer or a "World's Best Grayson" mug. Instead they find a very old skeleton. Which has actually been there the whole time (including on the [=roll20=] map they were using), they were all just too distracted to notice.
** Wyn wonders if the skeleton is there for metaphorical reasons.
-->'''Wyn:''' What is wealth but life, maybe?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't even -\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't know!\\
'''Wyn:''' Because...Grayson told you to be happy.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah but does that mean we chuck a corpse in a pit?
** When Jyll snarks that "the real treasure is the friends we made along the way", Artie gets concerned that Aelfgifu will throw the party in the pit.
* Annie groans when she realizes that the actual solution to the puzzle is covering up every word on the sign except for "wealth", realizing it was a SpeakFriendAndEnter puzzle.
* Aelfgifu reaches for Artie's hand after the test, but Anna says the height difference means she actually grabs his face. Rio protests that Artie's not ''that'' ludicrously short.
[[AC: Episode 102 - You Can't Be Nothing]]
* Now knowing what to expect behind everyone's door, Jylliana starts getting anxiety about having to confront her anxiety.
* As opposed to other hallways that are [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial definitely not trapped]], the party find themselves staring down a hallway filled with knives, saws, swinging blades, a hole that's just launching glass bottles - Anna describes it not as a trap hallway but a ''meatgrinder''.
-->'''Rio:''' Why is the floor covered in Legos?
* Cacophony would be able to move through the first half of the hall with effortless grace, but because she's Wyn right now it looks more like an awkward high school dance through all the obstacles.
** Anna describes some close calls - a dart thrower nearly gives her a free nose-piercing, and a spear nearly gives her a free stomach piercing.
** Aelfgifu's assesment of this test: Jyll should solve her problems with dance. Jyll stresses that the best she can do is a basic waltz. And Artie...
-->'''Artie:''' Maybe it's...watchamacallit...\\
''*beat as everyone stares at him*''\\
'''Artie:'''...I lost it.
* Wyn slips and falls into the blades - and they pass right through her. She tests this a few times before confirming none of the blades are real. Jyll also does this as the metaphor clicks, and just screams into her hands.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I think I understand this one better than mine.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*muffled*'' Ugh, the therapy books I borrowed at the library were right!\\
''*Artie cartwheels through the illusions*''
** During the pump-up speech for Jyll against the next set of illusions, Wyn pauses to state that after two "you can be both" morals she's pretty concerned for what's behind her door.
** What starts getting Jyll out of the funk is the party telling her that her relationship with Lachlan is a lot closer to the simpler version and he likes her because of that - and they should know, they spied on her a ''lot''.
** During a group hug, Breadstix gives Jyll a love nip and laps up the blood, and everyone decides to not worry about that right now.
-->'''Annie:''' He's a creature of the Feywild. What's he need the blood for? Don't worry about it!
[[AC: Episode 103 - Who You Are Right Now]]
* Artie and Wyn/Cacophony's doors are left, and they're both ''very'' sexy doors.
* Jylliana suggests Artie use his cannon to shoot the pedastel and skip the test of character.
* Confronted with a crystal staircase, Artie goes down and Rio starts WaxingLyrical.
-->'''Rio:''' Down down, do-be-be-be-do-down.\\
'''Annie:'''...[[Music/FallOutBoy Sugar we're goin' down swingin']]?\\
'''Anna:''' But Artie is ''not'' number one with a bullet because he ''doesn't have a gun''.\\
'''Rio:''' Aw, way to rub it in!
** The players joke about not following Artie down, and instead suggest closing the door to wait. Then Rio counters that Artie would close the door himself. "Um, excuse me, this is private."
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anna has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
** When the door finally opens, it's because the chain holding it shut snapped in two - and Jyll senses divine magic on it.
-->'''Artie:''' Sweet, God is on my side! That usually doesn't happen.
* Artie sees his pedastel and ''immediately'' says he wants to take a nap instead, then tries to get the others to double back and do Wyn's room first instead.
** Trying to motivate Artie after seeing the vision, everyone lists important things about him - these include "is bad at chores", "doesn't understand spiders", "doesn't have a gun", and "fucks a lot".
** Anna asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
-->'''Wyn:''' I have a question. Is that incest?\\
'''Artie:''' No, it's me.\\
'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\
'''Artie:''' Guys, I'm a really great kisser!\\
'''Jyll:''' ...yeah, I believe that.
** Then he pulls the party into a huge bear hug, and Wyn asks him if he can crack her spine while he's at it.
* Jyll hands out juiceboxes, one of which is non-alcoholic wine for Wyn (who prestidigitates it to taste better). It's sparkling grape juice from Champaignsphere.
* In the stinger, Maq firmly orders her cat to "get on the lap or don't, it's your choice", and everyone is flustered by "dom Wyn".
[[AC: Episode 104 - It's Worked So Far]]
* Jyll and Wyn navigate a hedge maze by keeping their hand on the left wall and going as fast as they can. Artie decides to cheat by tossing Aeflgifu into the air so she can see further.
[[AC: Episode 105 - Gem Jammed Part 1]]
* The secret at the heart of the Dream Dungeon turns out to be [[Podcast/TheFallenGods Tuatha of Krynn]]. Who now has electric blue skin. Artie wasn't there for this, so he doesn't recognize her.
-->'''Artie:''' The princess is blue, I get to kiss her first.
** Wyn points out the last clue they got referred to a kiss of "love and hate" and says that Jyll is the best candidate for kissing Tuatha after all. Jyll can't help but agree after speedreading the poem again.
* Wyn asks why Tuatha's blue, and Jyll says [[Film/MeanGirls you can't just ask people why they're blue]].
* Jyll freaks a little when she realizes Tuatha, when not cursed, is the same height as her.
-->'''Anna:''' You've lost your only advantage!
* As Artie introduces himself and says he's a king, Tuatha responds "ooh, me too".
-->'''Jyll:''' Wait I'm sorry, you're what? Are you dream princess or a princess for real?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's entrapment.\\
'''Tuatha:''' I'm not a princess, no. I'm a queen.\\
'''Jyll:''' What?!\\
'''Tuatha:''' Similarly a mess, it's fine.\\
'''Jyll:''' Ugh, what is it with ''hot royalty''?!
* After Malkess the night hag reveals herself and creates crystal copies of the illusions the party faced earlier:
-->'''Jyll:''' Cool friends of yours Tuatha!\\
'''Tuatha:''' So I don't know her. Or I do and I forgot who this is, in which case I'm very sorry.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' That's relatable, it happens.
** They also have to give Tuatha the lowdown on who the crystal dopplegangers are, leading to Tuatha finall getting the skinny of Jyll and Lachlan's...situation.
-->'''Jyll:''' That's my...not-boyfriend?\\
'''Wyn:''' It's your boyfriend, Jyll.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Y'all haven't figured that out? You haven't put a ring on that yet?\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean we've gone out a couple times, we made out a bunch, but I'm just not totally sure if we're official...\\
'''Tuatha:''' Have you tried asking?\\
'''Wyn:''' That's what I said!\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm working on it.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Okay. ''*{{beat}}*'' Just seems like the easiest way to go about solving that.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*{{angrish}}*''
* When fighting his own doppleganger, Artie declares this way more messed up than making out with himself.
* Wyn's somatic component for casting Shatter is saying "[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Ping!]]"
* When Tuatha sends out 49 lightning damage, Jylliana gets a little flustered - and then immediately gets annoyed with herself because of it.
[[AC: Episode 106 - Gem Jammed Part 2]]
* The previous episode ended with Aelfgifu getting a natural 20 crit on one of the constructs. This episode starts with her being told constructs are immune to psychic damage and everyone whining.
** Tuatha turns that immunity from psychic damage to resistance thanks to the Wild Magic table, and in turn grows 3 years younger.
-->'''Jake:''' I'm like seventeen now.\\
'''Annie:''' Do you have really bag acne?\\
'''Jake:''' No she has perfect skin forever.
* Jyll casts Harm and does enough damage to Markess' crystal shield...that it detonates.
-->'''Jake:''' I don't think it ''needs'' too...\\
'''Anna:''' Oh yes, it detonates!
* Tuatha is planning on using fireball, and there's a good possibility that she might hit everyone else.
-->'''Alexi:''' We brought Jake on to record Jemjammer with us...and he wiped the party.
** Tuatha's Wild Magic ends up making her afraid of Jylliana.
-->'''Jake:''' Aw beans! She kissed me too good earlier!
* One of Malkess' attacks is spitting her teeth at her foes. Everyone jokes that she's having one of ''those'' kinds of dreams.
* Tuatha figures the reason she didn't subconciously reach out to her party members Solvin and Flint is because her party doesn't care about feelings.
-->'''Tuatha:''' I think you lot are using up our feeling alotment and that's why we don't really do it, but - like Solvin would catch on fire if we tried to do emotions at him so that'd be...really funny but pretty awful.
* Tuatha elaborates on her queenliness, namely that she's also been deposed. Jyll admits that that does actually make her feel better.
** When Artie says that he had to fake his death, Tuatha offers him a hug. Thanks to the height difference, he ends up shoved into her bosom.
* While everyone else makes plans to do brunch, Jyll mutters out loud "it's weird kissing someone without tusks". But it's during a lull in the conversation, and everyone hears her.
* Mishakael got help from Baphomet from earlier, and passes on rewards he gave for them.
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTheWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
* Artie gets a carved wooden fish. Except no, it's a ''gun'' (that can shoot various types of fish).
-->'''Alexi:''' Nap squad has a gun.\\
'''Annie:''' The prophecy has been fulfilled.
** Artie claims he can't read the instructions. Annie says they must be written in Fin-ish.
** Jylliana gets a necklace of sulphurous prayer beads that make her ''very'' uncomfortable.
** Aelfgifu gets a cloak that actually manifested from the stars, and it lets her fill it with items that appear on the inside in the form of constellations. She declares she's gonna fill it with so many snack constellations.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Taphos pt. 2 (episodes 107-115)]]
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' Horse]]
* Jylliana immediately needs to burn a spell slot to Sending at Tuatha. Aelfgifu gets really concerned that they'll need that slot later.
-->'''Jyll:''' I don't know how to ask this without it sounding like I'm just flirting, so...did I dream about kissing you last night?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''That's'' what you're spending a third level spell slot on?!\\
'''Artie:''' Sounds appropriate.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' If I die -\\
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~
** Then Jyll doesn't realize she said her Sending out loud. Aelfgifu points out that Jyll always mutters her Sendings out loud to get the word count right.
* Artie's gun is named "The Blunderbass". Kit doesn't mind any of the new items the party has because whenever they get new stuff Kit just increases the HP that the monsters have. But also, the Blunderbass is basically useless.
-->'''Anna:''' It's just musket!
* Everyone gets excited when, during their travels, they hear norse noises. Aelfgifu tells them to calm down - or rather, hold their horses.
-->'''Annie:''' But I'm champing at the bit!\\
'''Alexi:''' Oh I shouldn't have...\\
'''Kit:''' You opened this door.\\
'''Annie:''' You opened the barn door and I walked right in.\\
'''Kit:''' Jylliana you take four psychic damage.
** Aelfgifu scouts ahead and sees a heard of pegasi, and takes a moment to look in awe "like she's in ''Film/JurassicPark''", and says that if she had sunglasses she'd be pulling them off.
* Aelfgifu really wants to talk to them, and though she can speak to animals and tries to simulate ear swivels as well, ultimately they are not animals but magical creatures (a crucial difference). Aelfgifu does notice an attitude akin to the swan in the lead pegasi.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Oh no, the horse is racist...
* The party stumble into, and manage to struggle out of, a section of jungle full of vines growing fast enough to entangle them. Since they didn't actualyl fight anything, they don't get any experience.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Hold on everyone, on second thought, I'd like to level up, maybe we should go back.\\
'''Jyll:''' I am sure we will have so many opportunities to fight shit later.\\
'''Artie:''' This is an island of monsters.\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm sure if you ask the fates loud enough, a whole-ass chimera will just land on us and it'll be great.\\
''*Kit starts laughing*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That was not an ask!
* Jyll Sendings to Captain Bondar, mentioning the weird dreams but not going in to detail. Captain Bondar appreciates her "not reciting her dream journal" to her.
** Annie also Sendings Max, but has to catch Kit up on what happened the last time she did so.
-->'''Annie:''' Jylliana was like "hey, do you wanna ''actually'' tell me what the fuck the problem is?" and he was like "well it turns out I'm hot and sad".
* Jyll now gets to have the "what are we" convo over Sending herself!
-->'''Jyll:''' We made it from the beach to the woods. Safe travels today, how are you? No worries if not but do you maybe wanna be my boyfriend?\\
'''Lachlan:''' What was that you said? Your last word cut off. Fill me in when possible, I'll be thinking of you, can't wait to see you.
** Cut to Jyll staring into space slack-jawed before counting on her fingers and realizing her message was cut off at "maybe wanna be". Then she grabs her pillow and screams into it.
-->'''Wyn:''' Does that mean he said yes? Or something went wrong.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.
** Aelfgifu offers Jyll her symapthies, but also tells her to keep screaming into her pillow because they're surrounded by monster-filled woods.
* Wyn assures Jyll that Lachlan and her will laugh over this later...in a hundred years with 50 babies. She doesn't know how long non-elves live. Jyll explains that aasimar can probably get to 150, but half-orcs don't live that long. And the episode ends with her repeating that with dread.
[[AC: Episode 108 - Annihilated by the Sensation of a Thousand Fish]]
* The first line of the episode is Wyn saying that she's going to outlive ''everyone'', so if anyone gets to have an existential crisis it's her.
** Aelfgifu is twenty years old, so naturally she declares she's going to live forever. Then the voices she's been hearing from the ether send her the equivalnet of a thumbs up emoji.
* When Aelfgifu and Wyn investigate a unicorn, she leaves Breadstix behind to bite Jyll's ears if something goes wrong because "I'll already be in trouble, what's one more 'your pseudodragon bit my ear'."
** The unicorn's name roughly translates to "Dappled Sunlight Through the Leaves", which angers Annie because that's a wolf name.
** They return to camp and find Breadstix anxiously hovering over Jyll's ear and, disappointed that it doens't get to bite her, gnaws on Aelfgifu's finger instead.
* Explaining Unicorns to Artie, Jyll describes a "land-sea-horse-narwhal".
* Jyll isn't surprised that the Unicorn isn't strong enough to defeat the World Eater, since it's a thing that eats suns. Kit mentions it's only CR 5 and it probably wouldn't be a fair fight.
-->'''Kit:''' I gotta run a simulation to see how many CR 5 unicorns it takes to kill a god.\\
'''Maq:''' We are each two unicorns.\\
'''Annie:''' Inside of you are two unicorns?\\
'''Maq:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLastUnicorn One yearns to turn into see foam, and the other yearns to...chill out with a little girl?]]\\
'''Annie:''' Kill a bull?\\
'''Maq:''' Kill a bull and cry about being a woman.\\
'''Annie:''' Por que no los dos?
* Later on, Aelfgifu sees what she thinks is an osprey carrying a salmon...then looks closer and realizes it's a gryphon carrying a dolphin.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?\\
'''Artie:''' That dolphin probably said some shit.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah that dolphin ain't blameless.
* Upon finding a lake where a serpent that hates the Unicorn is allegedly lurking, Aelfgifu uses Beast Sense to see if it gets pinged. She's immediately "annihilated by the sensation of a thousand fish", which Annie says is the episode title and Alexi declares is her band name.
** Aelfgifu remembers a story Greyson told her about there being a snake in a lake near their home with multiple heads and he'd say "you better not fuck with it or I'll know", just like a typical dad.
** Jyll offers to electrocute the water, but would feel bad because it would damage everything in the lake. Aelfgifu reiterates that she knows ''exactly'' how many fish are in there.
* They decide to use Artie as bait to lure the Serpent into a vulnerable position, and also vibe check the serpent because he can talk to sea creatures. He does this by cupping his hands over his mouth and calling "Hey! Hey, you good!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Oooooooh goddess.\\
'''Kit:''' I have a very important question. How loud are you attempting to be right now?\\
'''Rio:''' Real loud.\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, there goes any of that conversation.
** And of course, when the multi-headed serpent emerges from the water, Artie cheerfully declares "we found it!"
* In the stinger, Maq has to check on a weird undulating moaning noise coming from outside her window. Kit assures her that that's just what Christmas sounds like.
[[AC: Episode 109 - It Looks Like A Dog But It Is Not A Dog]]
* Jylliana can pick a bead off of the prayer necklace from Baphomet without breaking the string. Anna compares it to picking a glass berry, and she can throw it ninety feet.
-->'''Rio:''' Jyll was in softball.\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah, I feel like I'm the softball bisexuals.\\
'''Alexi:''' I wish I could through a berry ninety feet, like when I throw apples in the woods.
** The bead forms into a flaming, skeletal dog, and the Hydra attacks it instead of the party. Alexi calls it the obligatory "[[Film/Godzilla2014 let them fight]]" moment.
** Aelfgifu doesn't know what to make of the nasty fire blood dog, silently raising her eyebrow at Jyll. Jyll ''also'' isn't sure how to respond, just shrugging and saying "it seems to be working?"
* Anna declares "you're in luck!" after double-checking what the hydra can do, and gets a chorus of "are we?" in response.
* Jyll tells Artie he needs to handle the hydra because it has many heads.
-->'''Artie:''' I'm used to handling many heads, but not like this!
** Shortly after, he gets sprayed in the face with acid because he was just standing out in the open.
--> '''Artie:''' This is because of the head joke, isn't it!\\
'''Jyll:''' Wow, gods ''are'' real.
* Remember in episode 99 when Artie declared he wouldn't remember Dawnstar the fey horse's name? He was right, so he starts shouting "what was the name of the horse? The land-sky-seahorse?"
* Artie tries using his blunder-bass against the Hydra, but only manages to graze it with a swordfish, which the hydra subsequently eats. Alexi waxes poetic about how sad it must be for the swordfish to be thrust into existence and merely hurled though the air and then devoured. Annie says it has big [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy pot of daisies]] energy.
** The same hydra head gets sick from Wyn's Stinking Cloud, and ends up barfing up the swordfish into the water "totally happy and definitely fine".
* Jyll explodes the hydra head engaged with her fiendish spirit "that I guess is now my responsibility".
-->'''Rio:''' That's your pet now!\\
'''Alexi:''' A fiend is not just for Christmas.
** ''The head explodes'', and the spirit starts chomping at the sky like a dog trying to catch bubbles.
** A few turns later, the dog dies and it ''also'' explodes with Death Throes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' It's cool that you're dog's a bomb, Jyll.\\
'''Maq:''': It's cool that you're dog's like a [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Voltorb]] with Self-Destruct.\\
'''Jyll:''' We're learning lots of cool things about dogs today, aren't we.
* Artie's boon pays off, and the pegasi arrive!
-->'''We got a visual on the horses! ''*{{beat}}*'' Oh no, are they all gonna drop horse shit on it?
* They walk up to the lead Pegasus and speaks to them in common...like a surfer bro.
-->'''Zephyrus:''' Oh sorry bro we thought you were cultists!\\
'''Artie:''' Wait, what?\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah you were sneaking around before we thought you were cultists.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, before!\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah, but then Epona say's you're not cultists and we owe her so, like, man, we got you bro.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh bro that's so cool!\\
'''Jylliana:''' This is kinda ruining the majesty of the illusion, isn't it.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' These are Artie's people!
** Zephyrus offers Artie grass, and he offers Zephyrus seaweed in turn. They talk in circles like this for a bit before headbutting each other as bonding, and Artie gets knocked on his ass.
** Zephyrus tells the party that they can't help them at the Well itself because the cultists have been messing with time and space there, adding "that's just how the cookie crumbles". Then he realizes he doesn't know what a cookie is. When Wyn describes it as "a sweet circle that tastes good", he thinks it must be just like grass.
** Zephyrus suggests the group pretend to be cultists to sneak in, and the party briefly realize that they could've avoided a lot of hastle if they'd ever tried that before considering how many cultists they've been dealing with.
** Artie and Zephyrus try to fist-bump, but Zephyrus smacks his hand with his wing instead and injures Artie further.
[[AC: Episode 110 - Have You Heard The Good Wyrm?]]
* Aelfgifu attempts to MercyKill a deer stuck in a dark slumber near an ominous black obelisk, but misses and hits the obelisk instead. She comments this is probably for the best because she was very tempted to shoot the obelisk on purpose anyway.
** After Artie and Aelfgifu are knocked out by the sound of the obelisk ringing, Jyll asks Artie some questions to make sure there's nothing else wrong with him.
--> '''Jyll:''' Where are you from?\\
'''Artie:''' My house.
* Artie is surprised to learn that humans only have one eyelid in comparison to Triton's three. Jyll points out that technically they also have a nictating membrane that remains of a vestigial second eyelid. Aelfgifu is disappointed that she can't get a second eyelid back - or a tail.
* Aelfgifu offers her requisite Sending slot to Artie to message Max, since she already has a direct line to her Suncle (Space-uncle). Wyn points out she could use hers to Send the swan that hates her.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, have you ever spoken Swan?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't think so...\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'll teach you. "Honk honk honk -"
** She does Send to Wyn's father to let him know how things are going.
-->'''Wyn's father:''' Eeyup, good to hear from you! Love you.\\
'''Jyll:'''...yep, that's a dad.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's a dad alright!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Checked in, still dad.\\
'''Jyll:''' Survey says: dad.
* After Jyll gets snapped at by Max in, both she and Artie are distraught from their former friend being so mean. After getting a pep-talk from Wyn and Aelfgifu, Artie runs to a resting Jyll and lays down on top of her in apology. Wyn joins them.
-->'''Wyn:''' It's a snuggle-pile Jyll! Accept it!\\
'''Anna:'''Jyll you automatically fail your strength saving throw, you are in a snuggle-pile now.
** Later, Wyn swaps out for Aelfgifu and Jyll is shocked by the combined power of Nap Squad. Wyn says they're professional snugglers.
* Aelfgifu declares the obelisk "The Obelisk of Enforced Napping".
* Before the battle, Aelfgifu tells the party to put all their valuables in her new cloak - then jokes that she's gonna run away with it to impress her space uncles. Jyll sarcastically wonders what she'll do without her 3000 Electrum.
* "How do you do, fellow cultists?"
** When the party enters the cult encampment, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
** Night falls, and one of the cultists has to request Jyll remove her helmet because she's casting dim light all around her. Everyone had forgotten that she had the Space Fun Helmet on! Anna also toggles the light it casts on and off on the map, and Annie laughs at the different in weewoo surrounding her.
[[AC: Episode 111 - The Well of Infinity]]
* When asked to make an intelligence check, everyone gets low except for Artie - who gets a ''nineteen''! And then Anna mentions Artie being smarter than Jyll technically. Annie doesn't know what to do with that information.
** Aelfgifu suggests the Well of Infinity might not be a poison but something to do with a person's brain, and Artie is unaffected because he's "established brain dominance".
* Jyll tries talking after drinking from the well and is told she feels the air moving around her teeth as she does so. Annie freaks out and mentions how sometimes she thinks too hard about blinking and can't do it any more, and Maq recalls a time she took a five-hour energy during a road trip and yelled "Annie I can't feel my teeth!" in the middle of reciting the [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Poke-rap]].
** As the effects of the Well hit everyone, Anna describes the knowledge the fleetingly know as they recognize their infetisimal purpose within existence.
-->'''Anna:''' You see your own birth -\\
'''Jyll:''' Agh!\\
'''Anna:''' - and your own death.\\
'''Jyll:''' Eh, okay.
** As Anna goes on and on, Annie grimly notes "Oh, we made an [[Film/EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce Everything Bagel]]".
** Aelfgifu glimpses the Duke of Stardust and the Quicksilver Knight, and Wyn tries asking her how hot they are.
** They even see into other worlds, including glimpse of some strangers sitting in front of computers and talking into microphones.
** After all of that, Jyll declares "I don't think I'm a fan".
* After Anna describes the feeling of utter nihilism that the party begins feeling as these moments of infinite comprehension wash over them, describing that nothing matters and everything will only be united in the destruction of the universe, the ending music begins playing...and then there's a record scratch.
-->'''Artie:''' That's so stupid!
* Wyn gets shaken out of the feeling by mentioning one of the women watching the screens had a tuxedo cat who kept trying to knock over her microphone - right after Maq explained that her cat Hubert is doing the same thing.
* The players then find out the results of a wisdom saving throw they made earlier, and find out they were actually ''madness'' tables. Aelfgifu and Artie both got hallucinations, but Artie was only hit with three minutes while Aelfgifu got ninety ''hours''.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Nap Squad Shared Hallucination Hours!
** Anna points out that thanks to the Well, they know they're hallucinations and they're just annoying.
[[AC: Episode 112 - Winnifred The Public Domain Bear]]
* The title comes from Aelfgifu's name for the bear she pulls from her Bag of Tricks.
* Jylliana hits the nearest cultist with a first level guiding bolt. They explode.
-->'''Artie:''' That was strong.\\
'''Jyll:''' No! It wasn't!\\
'''Artie:''' That guy blew up, I'm pretty sure that was strong!\\
'''Jyll:''' That was just a weak-ass cultist. I'm pretty sure they don't have class levels. I don't really like popping people like gore balloons.
* Anna describes the oracle lowering her hood, revealing the face of a minotaur - or it would be, except her horns are carved down to nubs and her actual face is a swirl of void. Everyone makes noises of distress.
-->'''Maq:''' I was about to ask how hot she was but I'm good now.
* The party is immune to the oracle's Reverse Gravity spell because they drank from the well, but Winnifred the Public Domain Bear did not.
-->'''Annie:''' Oh no, [[Franchise/WinnieThePooh she's just a lovely black rain cloud]]!\\
'''Anna:''' She's flung a hundred feet high in the air...\\
'''Rio:''' You just hear a little *ping*!\\
'''Anna:''' Or rather it's more like she hovers at the top of this gravity thing, and then the gravity thing turns off. Pretty much as soon as you finish falling upwards you fall back down again, so...\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah she goes ping.\\
'''Anna:''' She goes ping, she doesn't come back down again. We don't need to think about that.\\
'''Alexi:''' You countered my bear puzzle!
[[AC: Episode 113 - Take a Chance on Fiend]]
* Jyll ended the last episode by annihilating ten zombies with a single Turn undead.
-->'''Rio:''' You solved my zombie puzzle!\\
'''Annie:''' Okay, okay we gotta call a moratorium on the "you solved my blank puzzle" jokes for a while.
* The Oracle walks dramatically towards the party, and is too focused on doing that to realize there's a bear trap in the way until she steps in it.
* While trying to think up a name for Jyll's Fiendish spirit, Maq suggests "Abbadog" as a play on "Abbadon". Alexi hears "Music/{{ABBA))-dog".
-->'''Rio:''' Take a chance on fiends!
* Artie had been blinked away by the Oracle earlier in the fight, but he blinks back just in time to see [[spoiler: Aelfgifu unlock her Starheart powers and destroy the Oracle]].
-->'''Artie:''' Holy shit?!\\
* Maq wonders what this means for Nap Squad, and Alexi says it means they have a nightlight now.
* Jyll tries to dismiss Abbadog, who starts backing up. She's concerned if it gets dismissed by blowing up.
-->'''Jyll:''' You have to tell me Yes or No if you're gonna blow up, I know you can understand me!\\
'''Anna:''' It can't talk.\\
'''Jyll:'''''It can shake it's head!''
** But it doesn't explode, it just [[spoiler: shrinks to teacup-size!]]
[[AC: Episode 114 - A Disco Ball Heart]]
* While trying to figure out what Aelfgifu can do now, Annie and Maq make a bunch of ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' references. Alexi counters that they're a ''Metal Gear'' gay, not a ''Kingdom Hearts'' gay.
* To keep Aelfgifu's heart from being noticed by opponents, Artie suggests throwing a blanket over her and calling her a sexy lamp.
* The Unicorn tries to explane the positive and negative energy planes to the Party, but the translation causes them to be named "Bad Vibes" and "Good Times".
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I got a chest that takes you to Good Times!\\
'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu, your chest is always giving me a good time!\\
'''Jyll:''' Eugh. She's like your sister.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''...he's a fish.\\
'''Artie:''' I'm a fish!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' We're not related!
* Aelfgifu decides to get back to the ship via Big Bird Shortcut (using the metal feather pin she received earlier). She summons a giant, metallic roc and names him Balboa.
** Anna decides Aelfgifu can understand Balboa, and he says "I wuv you, tiny flesh thing." He also agrees to eat the racist swan from episodes earlier.
* Aelfgifu is excited to see Jyll try to explain her new flaming dog in the phlogiston.
* Artie mentions he's heard of bird down before, and he doesn't know why they have "down" and not "up".
-->'''Anna:''' It took me years to realize that the ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' item "Phoenix Down" was like, the down of a phoenix.\\
'''Alexi:''' Yeah. You know when I realized that?\\
'''Anna:''' Was it just now?\\
'''Alexi:''' Right now when you said it to me.
[[AC: Episode 115 - The Weewoo Was Inside Me The Whole Time]]
* Aelfgifu describes having a dream about them all sharing Lachlan's pipe. Then quickly has to explain that she means his smoking pipe, not [[ImaginedInnuendo something else]].
-->'''Jylliana:''' I feel great about this conversation.
* The episode title comes from Anna saying Aelfgifu's new light powers making her her own, personal Space Fun Helmet.
* Mr. Herst announces the crew is getting a bathhouse trip. Jyll subtly sniffs herself and agrees that's a good idea.
* Lachlan and Jyll get so flustered while in the same bath that eventually Lachlan declares he needs to leave. Because they were at eye level before, "it" is right in her face for a second before Jyll dives underwater. After a moment, she surfaces...and so does Artie.
-->'''Artie:''' Don't worry, it all depends on the artist.
* Finn refers to Lachlan as Jyll's boyfriend and she freaks out, so Wyn has to remind him that she's in denial about them being together.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Takin' it Aesheim (episodes 116-present)]]
[[AC: Episode 116 - Elf Gift]]
* Lachlan has been so antsy what with the team being gone and the crew having a lot of extra money that he just bought everyone gifts.
** He gifts a large bushel of jerky to Aeflgifu and Breadstix. Aelfgifu doesn't want Breadstix to gorge herslef on them, so she puts the rest in her cloak, "joining the rest of the constellation of jerky which is the biggest constellation in the night sky which is my father".
** He got Artie a bottle of high-quality olive oil, which can be used for "hair, body...personal". Artie immiedately takes it and scurries off to meet with the blacksmith and huntress he seduced days earlier.
** His gift for Veli was blood and bones from the butcher, which is great for their soil but really stinks.
** His gift for Jylliana, flameless insense tablets so she can pray at her shrines without worrying about flames in the phlogiston, is actually very sweet - but him mentioning he had to buy it off of gnomes gets a chuckle.
* After the gifts, Captain Bondar announces it's time for "the talk", and everyone assumes they're being fired and left behind.
* When Jyll suggests it might be time to go help Max on Vodon, Captain Bondar rolls her eyes "into infinity". Anna sas that since they've seen what that looks like, they're not exaggerating.
* Veli casually announces that they might have to return to the Astral Plane soon. Everyone is shocked that that's a thing they need to do, but they respond that [[YouNeverAsked they never asked]].
* When Artie returns the next day, Jyll tells him that everyone's getting raises.
-->'''Artie:''' I already got my raise!\\
'''Jyll:''' Walked right into that one, didn't I?
* Jyll asks Koralia what it means if Baphomet takes an interest in her, hypothetically.
-->'''Koralia:''' It means you need to be very, ''very'' careful.\\
'''Jyll:''' Hypothetically speaking.\\
'''Koralia:''' Hypothetically speaking.\\
'''Jyll:''' Right. Right. Yes. Right. What if he gives you, uh, a magic item? That makes a dog? ''Hypothetically?''\\
'''Koralia:''' That is so out of my wheelhouse. I...please be careful? Don't die?\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah. Cool cool cool. Thanks! Good luck with the town.\\
'''Koralia:''' Goodness me. Will you be okay?\\
'''Jyll:''' Nope. Bye!
* Aelfgifu describes the past episodes' events to Kieran and Seerka as "my chest exploded, in a good way" and "I'm a starheart. Tada?"
** She also tries to make the premise of "doing drugs at my dads' house" seem like a reasonable thing to pursue. Kieran has to admit it doesn't sound that strange in the grand scheme of things.
** Annie declares that Kieran is now upgraded from "Suncle" to "Sand Dad", aka "Sad". Other suggestions are "Sather" (which might work) or "Saddy" (definitely not).
** Brimothy arrives with the book he said he'd get for Aelfgifu, and there's a brief debate over whether his last name is "Pepis" or "Peeps" before Annie says it's whatever their hearts desire.
* Lachlan goes around making plans for people to cover his and Jyll's shifts the following day. The negotiating includes Artie's shock that they even have chores, and Aelfifgu assuring him that Jyll will ''absolutely'' freak out at whatever he's planning, but it's a sign of love and she'll push through.
* Sure enough, Jyll's panicking makes her declare they need to have a talk. Lachlan assumes she wants to break up with him - and Jyll goes LaughingMad, becuase she wanted to ask if they could ''start'' dating.
** When Lachlan explains that his own uncertainty comes from a history of people just wanting a fling with him, he says that they "cum and go". What proceeds is a hurricane of puns ("nut and bolt", "breed and proceed", "get down and skip town") while Artie eggs Lachlan on from above deck and Jyll looks at him aghast.
-->'''Jyll:''' How many of these do you have?!\\
'''Lachlan:''' You don't want to know.
** Jyll being explicit with her feelings leads to her stumbling over her words, asking Lachlan to be "professional" and "persistent" before finding the word "permanent".
* Aelfgifu finds a strange plant growing out of Greyson's grave. Asking Lachlan if he's ever seen it, the best he can say is that it's the kind of plant that someone might smoke the seedpods of.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Why not? I'm gonna smoke the weird plant growing out of my dead dad's grave.\\
'''Jyll:''' Because an anthropomorphic personification of space told you to. Yeah this sounds great...but also, yeah, that's pretty much why we're here.\\
'''Lachlan:''' This day keeps getting weirder and weirder.
* Earlier Jyll had warned Lachlan about going barefoot during the winter, so when he complains about the cold outside Greyson's cabin she starts razzing him.
* After everyone smokes the space weed, they all narrate visions they have of Aeflgifu's past and Greyson's time with her.
** The first one is when Nevaris drops Aelfgifu off with Greyson, where he describes her as "feisty". The others use that feistiness to explain how young Greyson looks in these flashbacks, comparing it to when [[Franchise/StarWars Obi-Wan]] went from Ewan [=McGregor=] to Alex Guinness in seventeen years.
** When it gets to Artie's turn, he describes seeing a young Aelfgifu attracting birds by balancing berries on her limbs - and he can't help but turn aside and ask what birds are.
** After the angst of everything that occurred, Lachlan turns to Aelfgifu.
-->'''Lachlan:''' Hey, that was fucked. Do you want some real drugs?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''Yes''. This feels like a funeral, let's make it a wake!
* Aelfgifu's departure is bittersweet, but of course even when she's talking about how she needs to take things more seriously she gets in some goofs.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I'm gonna become the biggest badass you've ever seen...and I am going to come back...and we're gonna blow up a big worm with the power of a disco-ball sun heart! Or something. I don't know the specifics.\\
'''Jyll:''' Friendship. The power of friendship, probably.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Yeah, but more importantly, the power of blasting things with incredibly powerful magic! And friendship.\\
'''Artie:''' That is my favourite problem-solving method.
** Artie declares himself the true victim because Nap Squad is losing it's cosiest member.
** Aelfgifu doesn't want Jyll to forget about Breadstix...so she tells Lachlan to give her a little bite every once in a while.
[[AC: Episode 117 - Takin' it Aesheim]]
* Artie does a 180 on his feelings about Aelfgifu leaving when he finds out she ate all the chocolates out of the trail mix.
* Lachlan is so insistent on not wearing shoes that he cast Barkskin just over his feet. When Jylliana finds out he's never really experienced now she gets giddy.
-->'''Jyll:''' Oh, I need to see you deal with snow.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Aww, but I'll have to wear shoes!\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean, are you willing to make that sacrifice?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Mmm...\\
'''Artie, Jyll, and Win:''' Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!\\
'''Lachlan:''' Fine. Fine! Fine. I'll wear shoes.\\
'''Artie:''' Yay! Why are we sacrificing Lachlan to shoes?
* Anna gives Mr. Hurst a high-pitched english accent, prompting the other to giggle over him sounding like a little lad and wondering if he ever called his father "papa".
* Lachlan calls the temple "charming" and Jyll gets a little huffy, thinking he's trying to talk around being unimpressed. In the background, Rio declares "it's quaint!"
* Some of the acolytes are impressed when they see Jyll and invite her to spare with them. Jyll tries to figure out their class level, and Anna says their Challenge Rating is probably 1/4. Jyll grimaces a decides she shouldn't, as she might seriously hurt them.
** She instead helps them with their technique, but in demonstrating a simple hit she makes the wooden practice dummy explode in a shower of lightning. The acolytes look at the scene with a mix of awe and "oh, that's what she meant."
** Jyll asks what the most complex magic any of the acolytes can do. One of them proudly declares they can cast guiding bolt, prompting Maq to laugh out loud in the background.
[[AC: Episode 118 - The Family Business]]
* The party recaps that in this setting they've invented therapy, hot yoga, futons, and roller skates - but not the printing press.
* Wyn's little sister Filauriel is described as hating anything that has color unless it's blood red.
* Killian meets Artie for the first time and immediately starts crushing on him.
* Her mother Megwen flies between delighted that Wyn and Artie are visiting and disappointed that they're only there for the day, without nary a change in tone.
** She also calls her "Wynnie-pants", which Artie quickly latches on to and declares he'll tell to the entire ship.
** Megwen then starts rattling about an old family friend that Wyn hadn't seen for two and a half centuries and barely remembered had passed away. Maq chimes in to say that her own mother did the exact same thing the day prior.
** She pinned one of Wyn's letters to the fridge. Wyn's surpised that it's the one she wrote after the terrible party on Bioncarda.
* When Rori returns from College, Wyn comments on how buff he's gotten. When he says he's just been chopping wood, she suggests he do it in front of the magic mirrors so he can make money off of it.
** He also smells like elf weed, and when Wyn offers to prestidigitate it away before their mom smells it, Rori tells her that their mom's the one who gave it to him in the first place.
-->'''Megwen:''' I had to give him a good strain, his was terrible!\\
'''Wyn:''' Was it all buds again?\\
'''Megwen:''' Always! He's a terrible gardener. Your father has tried to teach him so much and he just keeps on chopping wood instead of taking lessons.
** The continue to roast him for being an accountant and liking numbers more than gardening and not smoking better weed.
* Eventually the eldest daughter Merethyl arrives and immediately starts trying to sell her juice-cleanse-scheme to people. Her brother Sevalor tells her to stop, because mom said the only MLM allowed in the house is Killian.
* Eldest child Bridge arrives with their spouse and all her kids, who are in their 30s (equivalent to a mortal's 4 or 5). The kids are fascinated by Artie and start asking about whether he has lungs or gills. He genuinely doesn't know. Another kid ask if he's poisonous, and Artie says he's "certainly left some people wrecked".
* Xilwyn tries to tell her family that she's Cacophony, but she blurts it out so fast nobody understands. She asks Artie for help and Artie, confused, thinks she's trying to tell her family about her new girlfriend, which makes everyone extremely excited.
** Everyone thinks she's kidding about the Cacophony part, so she leaves to get changed and tells Artie to distract the family. Artie ends up wrangling the kids again and freaks out that they're so sticky. We also get to hear Annie doing a perfect imitation of a 5 year old asking questions and then giggling when they get mixed up between "Eladrin" and "alligator".
** When Cacophony emerges, the whole family is shocked and Killian straight up faints.
** Her parents happily announce that they've known all along and are so proud of her for telling them. In fact, they were [[spoiler: anti-monarchist revolutionaries in their 160s and deposed the king centuries earlier]]!
** Once the floodgates are open, Wyn ends up gushing about Thazita and drops that she's a seeker, she's from space, they've been adventuring in space, and there's an evil space cult trying to destroy everything. Megwyn blinks a little bit but just rolls with it.
*** When she lets slip that Aelfgifu is a starheart, she tells her mom not to tell anyone. Internally she grimaces that the entire bridge club will pobably know by tomorrow. Fortunately, Filauriel promises to spread misinformation on her behalf.
** Wyn tries to defuse the situation by asking Artie to share. Artie shares his tattoo, which involves him hiking his pants halfway down. Merethil and Bridge cover the kids' eyes while Killian, who'd gone to hide in his room, emerges to get a better look.
-->'''Artie:''' I got it from a minotaur -\\
'''Wyn:''' He then made love to the minotaur.\\
'''Artie:''' Absolutely nothing about that was loving.
* As soon as Wyn tells her they'll spend the night, Megwen declares they can go through all the old photo albums and mementos and yearbooks.
** Killian tells Artie he can spend the night in his room. Artie grimaces and considers walking into the woods.
[[AC: Episode 119 - Temperance]]
* Jyll ''very'' unsure about how to broach the subject of her speaking with Baphomet and getting boons from him with Mother Sylvia, so she starts "I have a dog now...I think it's a dog...it's shaped like a dog."
** Sylvia urges Jyll to be vigilant in case the infernal hound tries to tempt her with anything, and while Jyll acknowledges this she's skeptical that it's capapble of doing much more than taking a fiery piss in the corner. And then has to snap at it when it tries to do exactly that.
[[/folder]]
----
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder: The Crystal Dream Palace (episodes 100-106)]]
[[AC: Episode 100 - The Jemjammer 100th Episode Crystal Millennium Spectacular]]
* Anna states that even though this is a side episode, it's "technically canon and does take place at the same time, but in a sort of side-y way".
-->'''Annie:''' I feel like some ''Ring'' shenanigans are gonna be at foot here.\\
'''Alexi:''' It was all a dream.\\
'''Maq:''' [[WaxingLyrical But in dreams, the evening staaAAAR!]]\\
'''Anna:''' Something like that.
* Jylliana thinks the situation is a dream, mumbling that it must be the last day of class before final. Artie doesn't know what a "class" is, and also says if it was a dream he'd be fully naked.
* Jyll and Aelfgifu are unsure how to feel about getting spirited away, since last time that happened...mixed feelings.
-->'''Jyll:''' I swear to Ethla if there's another Death's Head at the end who has riddles for us...
** Determining that the goal in this space is to rescue a princess and kiss her, Wyn says that unless the princess is a dragon she's only moderately interested. Jyll and Aelfgifu demand the chance to kiss her since they've never been able to. Artie thinks he should do it, since he's done it before and the other two might "mess it up". Ultimately Jyll suggests the three form a queue once they find her.
* Aelfgifu suggests moving through the doors anti-clockwise "just to be perverse".
-->'''Rio:''' I always want to go to the left.\\
'''Annie:''' Oh, because you have a ''Film/{{Zoolander}}'' problem?\\
'''Rio:''' No I was just thinking..."[[Music/{{Beyonce}} to the left, to the left]]"...
* The party enters a room with a statue bearing the sign "show me nothing but wealth", and a variety of treasure and junk mixed together. They determine pretty quickly it's a SecretTestOfCharacter, but aren't quite sure how to proceed. Eventually they land on tossing some treasure and some junk into a pit in the centre of the room to see what happens.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I do like throwing things.\\
'''Jyll:'''You do like throwings things.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''And I like tossing things in pits. Maybe this is why it's my room.\\
'''Jyll:'''Just like the Nasty Pit.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''I used to throw all ''kinds'' of things into the Nasty Pit!
[[AC: Episode 101 - The Revenge of the Nasty Pit]]
* While Jyll and Wyn try to figure out what to do, the crystal elementals wait around patiently. TalkingIsAFreeAction, after all.
* Anna compares the crystal elementals exploding into shrapnel to Sonic losing his rings when he's hit. Then everyone realizes the enemies are all blue and spikey, so in a sense they're just fighting a bunch of Sonic [=OCs=].
** Anna later describes them in a way that Annie thinks they're arachnids. Anna counters that they can't be arachnids, they don't have exoskeletons - or any skeletons for that matter.
* Artie has a glaive with the "reach" property. Artie doesn't know what that means in-universe, so he still goes in for close-range hits.
-->'''Anna:''' If you had used the reach capacity of your weapon to stretch out and hit it you wouldn't have had to make the save.\\
'''Rio:''' Yeah I know.\\
'''Annie:'''...okay.\\
'''Rio:''' I, Rio, the player knows. Artie, the character, is a big dumb boi!
* The shattered elementals do look valuable in their inert crystal form.
-->'''Jyll:''' Hey Aelfgifu, what's your personal perspective on crystal spider chunks? On a scale from 1 to wealth?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' They look good, I want them, they look shiny, but I don't know if that means I get to keep them or if I gotta chuck them in the hole.
** They decide to search the room further in case there are items of a more personal value to Aelfgifu, like whittled deer or a "World's Best Grayson" mug. Instead they find a very old skeleton. Which has actually been there the whole time (including on the [=roll20=] map they were using), they were all just too distracted to notice.
** Wyn wonders if the skeleton is there for metaphorical reasons.
-->'''Wyn:''' What is wealth but life, maybe?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't even -\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't know.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I don't know!\\
'''Wyn:''' Because...Grayson told you to be happy.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah but does that mean we chuck a corpse in a pit?
** When Jyll snarks that "the real treasure is the friends we made along the way", Artie gets concerned that Aelfgifu will throw the party in the pit.
* Annie groans when she realizes that the actual solution to the puzzle is covering up every word on the sign except for "wealth", realizing it was a SpeakFriendAndEnter puzzle.
* Aelfgifu reaches for Artie's hand after the test, but Anna says the height difference means she actually grabs his face. Rio protests that Artie's not ''that'' ludicrously short.
[[AC: Episode 102 - You Can't Be Nothing]]
* Now knowing what to expect behind everyone's door, Jylliana starts getting anxiety about having to confront her anxiety.
* As opposed to other hallways that are [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial definitely not trapped]], the party find themselves staring down a hallway filled with knives, saws, swinging blades, a hole that's just launching glass bottles - Anna describes it not as a trap hallway but a ''meatgrinder''.
-->'''Rio:''' Why is the floor covered in Legos?
* Cacophony would be able to move through the first half of the hall with effortless grace, but because she's Wyn right now it looks more like an awkward high school dance through all the obstacles.
** Anna describes some close calls - a dart thrower nearly gives her a free nose-piercing, and a spear nearly gives her a free stomach piercing.
** Aelfgifu's assesment of this test: Jyll should solve her problems with dance. Jyll stresses that the best she can do is a basic waltz. And Artie...
-->'''Artie:''' Maybe it's...watchamacallit...\\
''*beat as everyone stares at him*''\\
'''Artie:'''...I lost it.
* Wyn slips and falls into the blades - and they pass right through her. She tests this a few times before confirming none of the blades are real. Jyll also does this as the metaphor clicks, and just screams into her hands.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I think I understand this one better than mine.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*muffled*'' Ugh, the therapy books I borrowed at the library were right!\\
''*Artie cartwheels through the illusions*''
** During the pump-up speech for Jyll against the next set of illusions, Wyn pauses to state that after two "you can be both" morals she's pretty concerned for what's behind her door.
** What starts getting Jyll out of the funk is the party telling her that her relationship with Lachlan is a lot closer to the simpler version and he likes her because of that - and they should know, they spied on her a ''lot''.
** During a group hug, Breadstix gives Jyll a love nip and laps up the blood, and everyone decides to not worry about that right now.
-->'''Annie:''' He's a creature of the Feywild. What's he need the blood for? Don't worry about it!
[[AC: Episode 103 - Who You Are Right Now]]
* Artie and Wyn/Cacophony's doors are left, and they're both ''very'' sexy doors.
* Jylliana suggests Artie use his cannon to shoot the pedastel and skip the test of character.
* Confronted with a crystal staircase, Artie goes down and Rio starts WaxingLyrical.
-->'''Rio:''' Down down, do-be-be-be-do-down.\\
'''Annie:'''...[[Music/FallOutBoy Sugar we're goin' down swingin']]?\\
'''Anna:''' But Artie is ''not'' number one with a bullet because he ''doesn't have a gun''.\\
'''Rio:''' Aw, way to rub it in!
** The players joke about not following Artie down, and instead suggest closing the door to wait. Then Rio counters that Artie would close the door himself. "Um, excuse me, this is private."
* Confronted with a hard-to-open door, Aelfgifu pops out a ''bunch'' of animals from her Bag of Tricks, including Rat Mercer, a bear (Tom Bearbadil), and a giant goat (Sergeant Grumbles). Anna has to stress that the hallway they're in is only seven feet wide.
** When the door finally opens, it's because the chain holding it shut snapped in two - and Jyll senses divine magic on it.
-->'''Artie:''' Sweet, God is on my side! That usually doesn't happen.
* Artie sees his pedastel and ''immediately'' says he wants to take a nap instead, then tries to get the others to double back and do Wyn's room first instead.
** Trying to motivate Artie after seeing the vision, everyone lists important things about him - these include "is bad at chores", "doesn't understand spiders", "doesn't have a gun", and "fucks a lot".
** Anna asks Rio how the two visions of Artie would show the real Artie affection, then quickly mentions that the funny option would be they make out. Rio was ''also'' about to suggest that. Instead they do a complicated three-way bro handshake - and then make out.
-->'''Wyn:''' I have a question. Is that incest?\\
'''Artie:''' No, it's me.\\
'''Wyn:''' Okay, that's fair.\\
'''Artie:''' Guys, I'm a really great kisser!\\
'''Jyll:''' ...yeah, I believe that.
** Then he pulls the party into a huge bear hug, and Wyn asks him if he can crack her spine while he's at it.
* Jyll hands out juiceboxes, one of which is non-alcoholic wine for Wyn (who prestidigitates it to taste better). It's sparkling grape juice from Champaignsphere.
* In the stinger, Maq firmly orders her cat to "get on the lap or don't, it's your choice", and everyone is flustered by "dom Wyn".
[[AC: Episode 104 - It's Worked So Far]]
* Jyll and Wyn navigate a hedge maze by keeping their hand on the left wall and going as fast as they can. Artie decides to cheat by tossing Aeflgifu into the air so she can see further.
[[AC: Episode 105 - Gem Jammed Part 1]]
* The secret at the heart of the Dream Dungeon turns out to be [[Podcast/TheFallenGods Tuatha of Krynn]]. Who now has electric blue skin. Artie wasn't there for this, so he doesn't recognize her.
-->'''Artie:''' The princess is blue, I get to kiss her first.
** Wyn points out the last clue they got referred to a kiss of "love and hate" and says that Jyll is the best candidate for kissing Tuatha after all. Jyll can't help but agree after speedreading the poem again.
* Wyn asks why Tuatha's blue, and Jyll says [[Film/MeanGirls you can't just ask people why they're blue]].
* Jyll freaks a little when she realizes Tuatha, when not cursed, is the same height as her.
-->'''Anna:''' You've lost your only advantage!
* As Artie introduces himself and says he's a king, Tuatha responds "ooh, me too".
-->'''Jyll:''' Wait I'm sorry, you're what? Are you dream princess or a princess for real?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's entrapment.\\
'''Tuatha:''' I'm not a princess, no. I'm a queen.\\
'''Jyll:''' What?!\\
'''Tuatha:''' Similarly a mess, it's fine.\\
'''Jyll:''' Ugh, what is it with ''hot royalty''?!
* After Malkess the night hag reveals herself and creates crystal copies of the illusions the party faced earlier:
-->'''Jyll:''' Cool friends of yours Tuatha!\\
'''Tuatha:''' So I don't know her. Or I do and I forgot who this is, in which case I'm very sorry.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' That's relatable, it happens.
** They also have to give Tuatha the lowdown on who the crystal dopplegangers are, leading to Tuatha finall getting the skinny of Jyll and Lachlan's...situation.
-->'''Jyll:''' That's my...not-boyfriend?\\
'''Wyn:''' It's your boyfriend, Jyll.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Y'all haven't figured that out? You haven't put a ring on that yet?\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean we've gone out a couple times, we made out a bunch, but I'm just not totally sure if we're official...\\
'''Tuatha:''' Have you tried asking?\\
'''Wyn:''' That's what I said!\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm working on it.\\
'''Tuatha:''' Okay. ''*{{beat}}*'' Just seems like the easiest way to go about solving that.\\
'''Jyll:''' ''*{{angrish}}*''
* When fighting his own doppleganger, Artie declares this way more messed up than making out with himself.
* Wyn's somatic component for casting Shatter is saying "[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Ping!]]"
* When Tuatha sends out 49 lightning damage, Jylliana gets a little flustered - and then immediately gets annoyed with herself because of it.
[[AC: Episode 106 - Gem Jammed Part 2]]
* The previous episode ended with Aelfgifu getting a natural 20 crit on one of the constructs. This episode starts with her being told constructs are immune to psychic damage and everyone whining.
** Tuatha turns that immunity from psychic damage to resistance thanks to the Wild Magic table, and in turn grows 3 years younger.
-->'''Jake:''' I'm like seventeen now.\\
'''Annie:''' Do you have really bag acne?\\
'''Jake:''' No she has perfect skin forever.
* Jyll casts Harm and does enough damage to Markess' crystal shield...that it detonates.
-->'''Jake:''' I don't think it ''needs'' too...\\
'''Anna:''' Oh yes, it detonates!
* Tuatha is planning on using fireball, and there's a good possibility that she might hit everyone else.
-->'''Alexi:''' We brought Jake on to record Jemjammer with us...and he wiped the party.
** Tuatha's Wild Magic ends up making her afraid of Jylliana.
-->'''Jake:''' Aw beans! She kissed me too good earlier!
* One of Malkess' attacks is spitting her teeth at her foes. Everyone jokes that she's having one of ''those'' kinds of dreams.
* Tuatha figures the reason she didn't subconciously reach out to her party members Solvin and Flint is because her party doesn't care about feelings.
-->'''Tuatha:''' I think you lot are using up our feeling alotment and that's why we don't really do it, but - like Solvin would catch on fire if we tried to do emotions at him so that'd be...really funny but pretty awful.
* Tuatha elaborates on her queenliness, namely that she's also been deposed. Jyll admits that that does actually make her feel better.
** When Artie says that he had to fake his death, Tuatha offers him a hug. Thanks to the height difference, he ends up shoved into her bosom.
* While everyone else makes plans to do brunch, Jyll mutters out loud "it's weird kissing someone without tusks". But it's during a lull in the conversation, and everyone hears her.
* Mishakael got help from Baphomet from earlier, and passes on rewards he gave for them.
** Wyn (who's definitely still there, the recording didn't run long) gets a wand that makes invisible choir music when she waves it. Annie excitedly compares it to the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaTheWindWaker Wind Waker wand]].
* Artie gets a carved wooden fish. Except no, it's a ''gun'' (that can shoot various types of fish).
-->'''Alexi:''' Nap squad has a gun.\\
'''Annie:''' The prophecy has been fulfilled.
** Artie claims he can't read the instructions. Annie says they must be written in Fin-ish.
** Jylliana gets a necklace of sulphurous prayer beads that make her ''very'' uncomfortable.
** Aelfgifu gets a cloak that actually manifested from the stars, and it lets her fill it with items that appear on the inside in the form of constellations. She declares she's gonna fill it with so many snack constellations.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Taphos pt. 2 (episodes 107-115)]]
[[AC: Episode 107 - Talkin' Horse]]
* Jylliana immediately needs to burn a spell slot to Sending at Tuatha. Aelfgifu gets really concerned that they'll need that slot later.
-->'''Jyll:''' I don't know how to ask this without it sounding like I'm just flirting, so...did I dream about kissing you last night?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''That's'' what you're spending a third level spell slot on?!\\
'''Artie:''' Sounds appropriate.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' If I die -\\
'''Tuatha:''' I remember ''you'' kissing ''me'' in the dreamscape, but you might've dreamt about it afterwards too - it was a pretty good one ~
** Then Jyll doesn't realize she said her Sending out loud. Aelfgifu points out that Jyll always mutters her Sendings out loud to get the word count right.
* Artie's gun is named "The Blunderbass". Kit doesn't mind any of the new items the party has because whenever they get new stuff Kit just increases the HP that the monsters have. But also, the Blunderbass is basically useless.
-->'''Anna:''' It's just musket!
* Everyone gets excited when, during their travels, they hear norse noises. Aelfgifu tells them to calm down - or rather, hold their horses.
-->'''Annie:''' But I'm champing at the bit!\\
'''Alexi:''' Oh I shouldn't have...\\
'''Kit:''' You opened this door.\\
'''Annie:''' You opened the barn door and I walked right in.\\
'''Kit:''' Jylliana you take four psychic damage.
** Aelfgifu scouts ahead and sees a heard of pegasi, and takes a moment to look in awe "like she's in ''Film/JurassicPark''", and says that if she had sunglasses she'd be pulling them off.
* Aelfgifu really wants to talk to them, and though she can speak to animals and tries to simulate ear swivels as well, ultimately they are not animals but magical creatures (a crucial difference). Aelfgifu does notice an attitude akin to the swan in the lead pegasi.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Oh no, the horse is racist...
* The party stumble into, and manage to struggle out of, a section of jungle full of vines growing fast enough to entangle them. Since they didn't actualyl fight anything, they don't get any experience.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Hold on everyone, on second thought, I'd like to level up, maybe we should go back.\\
'''Jyll:''' I am sure we will have so many opportunities to fight shit later.\\
'''Artie:''' This is an island of monsters.\\
'''Jyll:''' I'm sure if you ask the fates loud enough, a whole-ass chimera will just land on us and it'll be great.\\
''*Kit starts laughing*''\\
'''Jyll:''' That was not an ask!
* Jyll Sendings to Captain Bondar, mentioning the weird dreams but not going in to detail. Captain Bondar appreciates her "not reciting her dream journal" to her.
** Annie also Sendings Max, but has to catch Kit up on what happened the last time she did so.
-->'''Annie:''' Jylliana was like "hey, do you wanna ''actually'' tell me what the fuck the problem is?" and he was like "well it turns out I'm hot and sad".
* Jyll now gets to have the "what are we" convo over Sending herself!
-->'''Jyll:''' We made it from the beach to the woods. Safe travels today, how are you? No worries if not but do you maybe wanna be my boyfriend?\\
'''Lachlan:''' What was that you said? Your last word cut off. Fill me in when possible, I'll be thinking of you, can't wait to see you.
** Cut to Jyll staring into space slack-jawed before counting on her fingers and realizing her message was cut off at "maybe wanna be". Then she grabs her pillow and screams into it.
-->'''Wyn:''' Does that mean he said yes? Or something went wrong.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' It's impossible to tell.
** Aelfgifu offers Jyll her symapthies, but also tells her to keep screaming into her pillow because they're surrounded by monster-filled woods.
* Wyn assures Jyll that Lachlan and her will laugh over this later...in a hundred years with 50 babies. She doesn't know how long non-elves live. Jyll explains that aasimar can probably get to 150, but half-orcs don't live that long. And the episode ends with her repeating that with dread.
[[AC: Episode 108 - Annihilated by the Sensation of a Thousand Fish]]
* The first line of the episode is Wyn saying that she's going to outlive ''everyone'', so if anyone gets to have an existential crisis it's her.
** Aelfgifu is twenty years old, so naturally she declares she's going to live forever. Then the voices she's been hearing from the ether send her the equivalnet of a thumbs up emoji.
* When Aelfgifu and Wyn investigate a unicorn, she leaves Breadstix behind to bite Jyll's ears if something goes wrong because "I'll already be in trouble, what's one more 'your pseudodragon bit my ear'."
** The unicorn's name roughly translates to "Dappled Sunlight Through the Leaves", which angers Annie because that's a wolf name.
** They return to camp and find Breadstix anxiously hovering over Jyll's ear and, disappointed that it doens't get to bite her, gnaws on Aelfgifu's finger instead.
* Explaining Unicorns to Artie, Jyll describes a "land-sea-horse-narwhal".
* Jyll isn't surprised that the Unicorn isn't strong enough to defeat the World Eater, since it's a thing that eats suns. Kit mentions it's only CR 5 and it probably wouldn't be a fair fight.
-->'''Kit:''' I gotta run a simulation to see how many CR 5 unicorns it takes to kill a god.\\
'''Maq:''' We are each two unicorns.\\
'''Annie:''' Inside of you are two unicorns?\\
'''Maq:''' Yes.\\
'''Rio:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheLastUnicorn One yearns to turn into see foam, and the other yearns to...chill out with a little girl?]]\\
'''Annie:''' Kill a bull?\\
'''Maq:''' Kill a bull and cry about being a woman.\\
'''Annie:''' Por que no los dos?
* Later on, Aelfgifu sees what she thinks is an osprey carrying a salmon...then looks closer and realizes it's a gryphon carrying a dolphin.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I mean that's kind of beautiful. Look! It's a gryphon eating a dolphin! Isn't that fucked up?\\
'''Artie:''' That dolphin probably said some shit.\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah that dolphin ain't blameless.
* Upon finding a lake where a serpent that hates the Unicorn is allegedly lurking, Aelfgifu uses Beast Sense to see if it gets pinged. She's immediately "annihilated by the sensation of a thousand fish", which Annie says is the episode title and Alexi declares is her band name.
** Aelfgifu remembers a story Greyson told her about there being a snake in a lake near their home with multiple heads and he'd say "you better not fuck with it or I'll know", just like a typical dad.
** Jyll offers to electrocute the water, but would feel bad because it would damage everything in the lake. Aelfgifu reiterates that she knows ''exactly'' how many fish are in there.
* They decide to use Artie as bait to lure the Serpent into a vulnerable position, and also vibe check the serpent because he can talk to sea creatures. He does this by cupping his hands over his mouth and calling "Hey! Hey, you good!"
-->'''Jyll:''' Oooooooh goddess.\\
'''Kit:''' I have a very important question. How loud are you attempting to be right now?\\
'''Rio:''' Real loud.\\
'''Jyll:''' Well, there goes any of that conversation.
** And of course, when the multi-headed serpent emerges from the water, Artie cheerfully declares "we found it!"
* In the stinger, Maq has to check on a weird undulating moaning noise coming from outside her window. Kit assures her that that's just what Christmas sounds like.
[[AC: Episode 109 - It Looks Like A Dog But It Is Not A Dog]]
* Jylliana can pick a bead off of the prayer necklace from Baphomet without breaking the string. Anna compares it to picking a glass berry, and she can throw it ninety feet.
-->'''Rio:''' Jyll was in softball.\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah, I feel like I'm the softball bisexuals.\\
'''Alexi:''' I wish I could through a berry ninety feet, like when I throw apples in the woods.
** The bead forms into a flaming, skeletal dog, and the Hydra attacks it instead of the party. Alexi calls it the obligatory "[[Film/Godzilla2014 let them fight]]" moment.
** Aelfgifu doesn't know what to make of the nasty fire blood dog, silently raising her eyebrow at Jyll. Jyll ''also'' isn't sure how to respond, just shrugging and saying "it seems to be working?"
* Anna declares "you're in luck!" after double-checking what the hydra can do, and gets a chorus of "are we?" in response.
* Jyll tells Artie he needs to handle the hydra because it has many heads.
-->'''Artie:''' I'm used to handling many heads, but not like this!
** Shortly after, he gets sprayed in the face with acid because he was just standing out in the open.
--> '''Artie:''' This is because of the head joke, isn't it!\\
'''Jyll:''' Wow, gods ''are'' real.
* Remember in episode 99 when Artie declared he wouldn't remember Dawnstar the fey horse's name? He was right, so he starts shouting "what was the name of the horse? The land-sky-seahorse?"
* Artie tries using his blunder-bass against the Hydra, but only manages to graze it with a swordfish, which the hydra subsequently eats. Alexi waxes poetic about how sad it must be for the swordfish to be thrust into existence and merely hurled though the air and then devoured. Annie says it has big [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy pot of daisies]] energy.
** The same hydra head gets sick from Wyn's Stinking Cloud, and ends up barfing up the swordfish into the water "totally happy and definitely fine".
* Jyll explodes the hydra head engaged with her fiendish spirit "that I guess is now my responsibility".
-->'''Rio:''' That's your pet now!\\
'''Alexi:''' A fiend is not just for Christmas.
** ''The head explodes'', and the spirit starts chomping at the sky like a dog trying to catch bubbles.
** A few turns later, the dog dies and it ''also'' explodes with Death Throes.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' It's cool that you're dog's a bomb, Jyll.\\
'''Maq:''': It's cool that you're dog's like a [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Voltorb]] with Self-Destruct.\\
'''Jyll:''' We're learning lots of cool things about dogs today, aren't we.
* Artie's boon pays off, and the pegasi arrive!
-->'''We got a visual on the horses! ''*{{beat}}*'' Oh no, are they all gonna drop horse shit on it?
* They walk up to the lead Pegasus and speaks to them in common...like a surfer bro.
-->'''Zephyrus:''' Oh sorry bro we thought you were cultists!\\
'''Artie:''' Wait, what?\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah you were sneaking around before we thought you were cultists.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh, before!\\
'''Zephyrus:''' Yeah, but then Epona say's you're not cultists and we owe her so, like, man, we got you bro.\\
'''Artie:''' Oh bro that's so cool!\\
'''Jylliana:''' This is kinda ruining the majesty of the illusion, isn't it.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' These are Artie's people!
** Zephyrus offers Artie grass, and he offers Zephyrus seaweed in turn. They talk in circles like this for a bit before headbutting each other as bonding, and Artie gets knocked on his ass.
** Zephyrus tells the party that they can't help them at the Well itself because the cultists have been messing with time and space there, adding "that's just how the cookie crumbles". Then he realizes he doesn't know what a cookie is. When Wyn describes it as "a sweet circle that tastes good", he thinks it must be just like grass.
** Zephyrus suggests the group pretend to be cultists to sneak in, and the party briefly realize that they could've avoided a lot of hastle if they'd ever tried that before considering how many cultists they've been dealing with.
** Artie and Zephyrus try to fist-bump, but Zephyrus smacks his hand with his wing instead and injures Artie further.
[[AC: Episode 110 - Have You Heard The Good Wyrm?]]
* Aelfgifu attempts to MercyKill a deer stuck in a dark slumber near an ominous black obelisk, but misses and hits the obelisk instead. She comments this is probably for the best because she was very tempted to shoot the obelisk on purpose anyway.
** After Artie and Aelfgifu are knocked out by the sound of the obelisk ringing, Jyll asks Artie some questions to make sure there's nothing else wrong with him.
--> '''Jyll:''' Where are you from?\\
'''Artie:''' My house.
* Artie is surprised to learn that humans only have one eyelid in comparison to Triton's three. Jyll points out that technically they also have a nictating membrane that remains of a vestigial second eyelid. Aelfgifu is disappointed that she can't get a second eyelid back - or a tail.
* Aelfgifu offers her requisite Sending slot to Artie to message Max, since she already has a direct line to her Suncle (Space-uncle). Wyn points out she could use hers to Send the swan that hates her.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Jyll, have you ever spoken Swan?\\
'''Jyll:''' I don't think so...\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' I'll teach you. "Honk honk honk -"
** She does Send to Wyn's father to let him know how things are going.
-->'''Wyn's father:''' Eeyup, good to hear from you! Love you.\\
'''Jyll:'''...yep, that's a dad.\\
'''Wyn:''' That's a dad alright!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Checked in, still dad.\\
'''Jyll:''' Survey says: dad.
* After Jyll gets snapped at by Max in, both she and Artie are distraught from their former friend being so mean. After getting a pep-talk from Wyn and Aelfgifu, Artie runs to a resting Jyll and lays down on top of her in apology. Wyn joins them.
-->'''Wyn:''' It's a snuggle-pile Jyll! Accept it!\\
'''Anna:'''Jyll you automatically fail your strength saving throw, you are in a snuggle-pile now.
** Later, Wyn swaps out for Aelfgifu and Jyll is shocked by the combined power of Nap Squad. Wyn says they're professional snugglers.
* Aelfgifu declares the obelisk "The Obelisk of Enforced Napping".
* Before the battle, Aelfgifu tells the party to put all their valuables in her new cloak - then jokes that she's gonna run away with it to impress her space uncles. Jyll sarcastically wonders what she'll do without her 3000 Electrum.
* "How do you do, fellow cultists?"
** When the party enters the cult encampment, they end up sitting next to a fire with a bunch of skeletons (because it was the only spot still open when they arrived). It prompts Wyn to recall when her little sister Floral enchanted a skeleton to dance around and sing "Hot! Hot! Hot!" during the harvest festival.
** Night falls, and one of the cultists has to request Jyll remove her helmet because she's casting dim light all around her. Everyone had forgotten that she had the Space Fun Helmet on! Anna also toggles the light it casts on and off on the map, and Annie laughs at the different in weewoo surrounding her.
[[AC: Episode 111 - The Well of Infinity]]
* When asked to make an intelligence check, everyone gets low except for Artie - who gets a ''nineteen''! And then Anna mentions Artie being smarter than Jyll technically. Annie doesn't know what to do with that information.
** Aelfgifu suggests the Well of Infinity might not be a poison but something to do with a person's brain, and Artie is unaffected because he's "established brain dominance".
* Jyll tries talking after drinking from the well and is told she feels the air moving around her teeth as she does so. Annie freaks out and mentions how sometimes she thinks too hard about blinking and can't do it any more, and Maq recalls a time she took a five-hour energy during a road trip and yelled "Annie I can't feel my teeth!" in the middle of reciting the [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Poke-rap]].
** As the effects of the Well hit everyone, Anna describes the knowledge the fleetingly know as they recognize their infetisimal purpose within existence.
-->'''Anna:''' You see your own birth -\\
'''Jyll:''' Agh!\\
'''Anna:''' - and your own death.\\
'''Jyll:''' Eh, okay.
** As Anna goes on and on, Annie grimly notes "Oh, we made an [[Film/EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce Everything Bagel]]".
** Aelfgifu glimpses the Duke of Stardust and the Quicksilver Knight, and Wyn tries asking her how hot they are.
** They even see into other worlds, including glimpse of some strangers sitting in front of computers and talking into microphones.
** After all of that, Jyll declares "I don't think I'm a fan".
* After Anna describes the feeling of utter nihilism that the party begins feeling as these moments of infinite comprehension wash over them, describing that nothing matters and everything will only be united in the destruction of the universe, the ending music begins playing...and then there's a record scratch.
-->'''Artie:''' That's so stupid!
* Wyn gets shaken out of the feeling by mentioning one of the women watching the screens had a tuxedo cat who kept trying to knock over her microphone - right after Maq explained that her cat Hubert is doing the same thing.
* The players then find out the results of a wisdom saving throw they made earlier, and find out they were actually ''madness'' tables. Aelfgifu and Artie both got hallucinations, but Artie was only hit with three minutes while Aelfgifu got ninety ''hours''.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Nap Squad Shared Hallucination Hours!
** Anna points out that thanks to the Well, they know they're hallucinations and they're just annoying.
[[AC: Episode 112 - Winnifred The Public Domain Bear]]
* The title comes from Aelfgifu's name for the bear she pulls from her Bag of Tricks.
* Jylliana hits the nearest cultist with a first level guiding bolt. They explode.
-->'''Artie:''' That was strong.\\
'''Jyll:''' No! It wasn't!\\
'''Artie:''' That guy blew up, I'm pretty sure that was strong!\\
'''Jyll:''' That was just a weak-ass cultist. I'm pretty sure they don't have class levels. I don't really like popping people like gore balloons.
* Anna describes the oracle lowering her hood, revealing the face of a minotaur - or it would be, except her horns are carved down to nubs and her actual face is a swirl of void. Everyone makes noises of distress.
-->'''Maq:''' I was about to ask how hot she was but I'm good now.
* The party is immune to the oracle's Reverse Gravity spell because they drank from the well, but Winnifred the Public Domain Bear did not.
-->'''Annie:''' Oh no, [[Franchise/WinnieThePooh she's just a lovely black rain cloud]]!\\
'''Anna:''' She's flung a hundred feet high in the air...\\
'''Rio:''' You just hear a little *ping*!\\
'''Anna:''' Or rather it's more like she hovers at the top of this gravity thing, and then the gravity thing turns off. Pretty much as soon as you finish falling upwards you fall back down again, so...\\
'''Annie:''' Yeah she goes ping.\\
'''Anna:''' She goes ping, she doesn't come back down again. We don't need to think about that.\\
'''Alexi:''' You countered my bear puzzle!
[[AC: Episode 113 - Take a Chance on Fiend]]
* Jyll ended the last episode by annihilating ten zombies with a single Turn undead.
-->'''Rio:''' You solved my zombie puzzle!\\
'''Annie:''' Okay, okay we gotta call a moratorium on the "you solved my blank puzzle" jokes for a while.
* The Oracle walks dramatically towards the party, and is too focused on doing that to realize there's a bear trap in the way until she steps in it.
* While trying to think up a name for Jyll's Fiendish spirit, Maq suggests "Abbadog" as a play on "Abbadon". Alexi hears "Music/{{ABBA))-dog".
-->'''Rio:''' Take a chance on fiends!
* Artie had been blinked away by the Oracle earlier in the fight, but he blinks back just in time to see [[spoiler: Aelfgifu unlock her Starheart powers and destroy the Oracle]].
-->'''Artie:''' Holy shit?!\\
* Maq wonders what this means for Nap Squad, and Alexi says it means they have a nightlight now.
* Jyll tries to dismiss Abbadog, who starts backing up. She's concerned if it gets dismissed by blowing up.
-->'''Jyll:''' You have to tell me Yes or No if you're gonna blow up, I know you can understand me!\\
'''Anna:''' It can't talk.\\
'''Jyll:'''''It can shake it's head!''
** But it doesn't explode, it just [[spoiler: shrinks to teacup-size!]]
[[AC: Episode 114 - A Disco Ball Heart]]
* While trying to figure out what Aelfgifu can do now, Annie and Maq make a bunch of ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' references. Alexi counters that they're a ''Metal Gear'' gay, not a ''Kingdom Hearts'' gay.
* To keep Aelfgifu's heart from being noticed by opponents, Artie suggests throwing a blanket over her and calling her a sexy lamp.
* The Unicorn tries to explane the positive and negative energy planes to the Party, but the translation causes them to be named "Bad Vibes" and "Good Times".
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I got a chest that takes you to Good Times!\\
'''Artie:''' Aelfgifu, your chest is always giving me a good time!\\
'''Jyll:''' Eugh. She's like your sister.\\
'''Aelfgifu:'''...he's a fish.\\
'''Artie:''' I'm a fish!\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' We're not related!
* Aelfgifu decides to get back to the ship via Big Bird Shortcut (using the metal feather pin she received earlier). She summons a giant, metallic roc and names him Balboa.
** Anna decides Aelfgifu can understand Balboa, and he says "I wuv you, tiny flesh thing." He also agrees to eat the racist swan from episodes earlier.
* Aelfgifu is excited to see Jyll try to explain her new flaming dog in the phlogiston.
* Artie mentions he's heard of bird down before, and he doesn't know why they have "down" and not "up".
-->'''Anna:''' It took me years to realize that the ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' item "Phoenix Down" was like, the down of a phoenix.\\
'''Alexi:''' Yeah. You know when I realized that?\\
'''Anna:''' Was it just now?\\
'''Alexi:''' Right now when you said it to me.
[[AC: Episode 115 - The Weewoo Was Inside Me The Whole Time]]
* Aelfgifu describes having a dream about them all sharing Lachlan's pipe. Then quickly has to explain that she means his smoking pipe, not [[ImaginedInnuendo something else]].
-->'''Jylliana:''' I feel great about this conversation.
* The episode title comes from Anna saying Aelfgifu's new light powers making her her own, personal Space Fun Helmet.
* Mr. Herst announces the crew is getting a bathhouse trip. Jyll subtly sniffs herself and agrees that's a good idea.
* Lachlan and Jyll get so flustered while in the same bath that eventually Lachlan declares he needs to leave. Because they were at eye level before, "it" is right in her face for a second before Jyll dives underwater. After a moment, she surfaces...and so does Artie.
-->'''Artie:''' Don't worry, it all depends on the artist.
* Finn refers to Lachlan as Jyll's boyfriend and she freaks out, so Wyn has to remind him that she's in denial about them being together.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Takin' it Aesheim (episodes 116-present)]]
[[AC: Episode 116 - Elf Gift]]
* Lachlan has been so antsy what with the team being gone and the crew having a lot of extra money that he just bought everyone gifts.
** He gifts a large bushel of jerky to Aeflgifu and Breadstix. Aelfgifu doesn't want Breadstix to gorge herslef on them, so she puts the rest in her cloak, "joining the rest of the constellation of jerky which is the biggest constellation in the night sky which is my father".
** He got Artie a bottle of high-quality olive oil, which can be used for "hair, body...personal". Artie immiedately takes it and scurries off to meet with the blacksmith and huntress he seduced days earlier.
** His gift for Veli was blood and bones from the butcher, which is great for their soil but really stinks.
** His gift for Jylliana, flameless insense tablets so she can pray at her shrines without worrying about flames in the phlogiston, is actually very sweet - but him mentioning he had to buy it off of gnomes gets a chuckle.
* After the gifts, Captain Bondar announces it's time for "the talk", and everyone assumes they're being fired and left behind.
* When Jyll suggests it might be time to go help Max on Vodon, Captain Bondar rolls her eyes "into infinity". Anna sas that since they've seen what that looks like, they're not exaggerating.
* Veli casually announces that they might have to return to the Astral Plane soon. Everyone is shocked that that's a thing they need to do, but they respond that [[YouNeverAsked they never asked]].
* When Artie returns the next day, Jyll tells him that everyone's getting raises.
-->'''Artie:''' I already got my raise!\\
'''Jyll:''' Walked right into that one, didn't I?
* Jyll asks Koralia what it means if Baphomet takes an interest in her, hypothetically.
-->'''Koralia:''' It means you need to be very, ''very'' careful.\\
'''Jyll:''' Hypothetically speaking.\\
'''Koralia:''' Hypothetically speaking.\\
'''Jyll:''' Right. Right. Yes. Right. What if he gives you, uh, a magic item? That makes a dog? ''Hypothetically?''\\
'''Koralia:''' That is so out of my wheelhouse. I...please be careful? Don't die?\\
'''Jyll:''' Yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah. Cool cool cool. Thanks! Good luck with the town.\\
'''Koralia:''' Goodness me. Will you be okay?\\
'''Jyll:''' Nope. Bye!
* Aelfgifu describes the past episodes' events to Kieran and Seerka as "my chest exploded, in a good way" and "I'm a starheart. Tada?"
** She also tries to make the premise of "doing drugs at my dads' house" seem like a reasonable thing to pursue. Kieran has to admit it doesn't sound that strange in the grand scheme of things.
** Annie declares that Kieran is now upgraded from "Suncle" to "Sand Dad", aka "Sad". Other suggestions are "Sather" (which might work) or "Saddy" (definitely not).
** Brimothy arrives with the book he said he'd get for Aelfgifu, and there's a brief debate over whether his last name is "Pepis" or "Peeps" before Annie says it's whatever their hearts desire.
* Lachlan goes around making plans for people to cover his and Jyll's shifts the following day. The negotiating includes Artie's shock that they even have chores, and Aelfifgu assuring him that Jyll will ''absolutely'' freak out at whatever he's planning, but it's a sign of love and she'll push through.
* Sure enough, Jyll's panicking makes her declare they need to have a talk. Lachlan assumes she wants to break up with him - and Jyll goes LaughingMad, becuase she wanted to ask if they could ''start'' dating.
** When Lachlan explains that his own uncertainty comes from a history of people just wanting a fling with him, he says that they "cum and go". What proceeds is a hurricane of puns ("nut and bolt", "breed and proceed", "get down and skip town") while Artie eggs Lachlan on from above deck and Jyll looks at him aghast.
-->'''Jyll:''' How many of these do you have?!\\
'''Lachlan:''' You don't want to know.
** Jyll being explicit with her feelings leads to her stumbling over her words, asking Lachlan to be "professional" and "persistent" before finding the word "permanent".
* Aelfgifu finds a strange plant growing out of Greyson's grave. Asking Lachlan if he's ever seen it, the best he can say is that it's the kind of plant that someone might smoke the seedpods of.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' Why not? I'm gonna smoke the weird plant growing out of my dead dad's grave.\\
'''Jyll:''' Because an anthropomorphic personification of space told you to. Yeah this sounds great...but also, yeah, that's pretty much why we're here.\\
'''Lachlan:''' This day keeps getting weirder and weirder.
* Earlier Jyll had warned Lachlan about going barefoot during the winter, so when he complains about the cold outside Greyson's cabin she starts razzing him.
* After everyone smokes the space weed, they all narrate visions they have of Aeflgifu's past and Greyson's time with her.
** The first one is when Nevaris drops Aelfgifu off with Greyson, where he describes her as "feisty". The others use that feistiness to explain how young Greyson looks in these flashbacks, comparing it to when [[Franchise/StarWars Obi-Wan]] went from Ewan [=McGregor=] to Alex Guinness in seventeen years.
** When it gets to Artie's turn, he describes seeing a young Aelfgifu attracting birds by balancing berries on her limbs - and he can't help but turn aside and ask what birds are.
** After the angst of everything that occurred, Lachlan turns to Aelfgifu.
-->'''Lachlan:''' Hey, that was fucked. Do you want some real drugs?\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' ''Yes''. This feels like a funeral, let's make it a wake!
* Aelfgifu's departure is bittersweet, but of course even when she's talking about how she needs to take things more seriously she gets in some goofs.
-->'''Aelfgifu:''' I'm gonna become the biggest badass you've ever seen...and I am going to come back...and we're gonna blow up a big worm with the power of a disco-ball sun heart! Or something. I don't know the specifics.\\
'''Jyll:''' Friendship. The power of friendship, probably.\\
'''Aelfgifu:''' Yeah, but more importantly, the power of blasting things with incredibly powerful magic! And friendship.\\
'''Artie:''' That is my favourite problem-solving method.
** Artie declares himself the true victim because Nap Squad is losing it's cosiest member.
** Aelfgifu doesn't want Jyll to forget about Breadstix...so she tells Lachlan to give her a little bite every once in a while.
[[AC: Episode 117 - Takin' it Aesheim]]
* Artie does a 180 on his feelings about Aelfgifu leaving when he finds out she ate all the chocolates out of the trail mix.
* Lachlan is so insistent on not wearing shoes that he cast Barkskin just over his feet. When Jylliana finds out he's never really experienced now she gets giddy.
-->'''Jyll:''' Oh, I need to see you deal with snow.\\
'''Lachlan:''' Aww, but I'll have to wear shoes!\\
'''Jyll:''' I mean, are you willing to make that sacrifice?\\
'''Lachlan:''' Mmm...\\
'''Artie, Jyll, and Win:''' Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!\\
'''Lachlan:''' Fine. Fine! Fine. I'll wear shoes.\\
'''Artie:''' Yay! Why are we sacrificing Lachlan to shoes?
* Anna gives Mr. Hurst a high-pitched english accent, prompting the other to giggle over him sounding like a little lad and wondering if he ever called his father "papa".
* Lachlan calls the temple "charming" and Jyll gets a little huffy, thinking he's trying to talk around being unimpressed. In the background, Rio declares "it's quaint!"
* Some of the acolytes are impressed when they see Jyll and invite her to spare with them. Jyll tries to figure out their class level, and Anna says their Challenge Rating is probably 1/4. Jyll grimaces a decides she shouldn't, as she might seriously hurt them.
** She instead helps them with their technique, but in demonstrating a simple hit she makes the wooden practice dummy explode in a shower of lightning. The acolytes look at the scene with a mix of awe and "oh, that's what she meant."
** Jyll asks what the most complex magic any of the acolytes can do. One of them proudly declares they can cast guiding bolt, prompting Maq to laugh out loud in the background.
[[AC: Episode 118 - The Family Business]]
* The party recaps that in this setting they've invented therapy, hot yoga, futons, and roller skates - but not the printing press.
* Wyn's little sister Filauriel is described as hating anything that has color unless it's blood red.
* Killian meets Artie for the first time and immediately starts crushing on him.
* Her mother Megwen flies between delighted that Wyn and Artie are visiting and disappointed that they're only there for the day, without nary a change in tone.
** She also calls her "Wynnie-pants", which Artie quickly latches on to and declares he'll tell to the entire ship.
** Megwen then starts rattling about an old family friend that Wyn hadn't seen for two and a half centuries and barely remembered had passed away. Maq chimes in to say that her own mother did the exact same thing the day prior.
** She pinned one of Wyn's letters to the fridge. Wyn's surpised that it's the one she wrote after the terrible party on Bioncarda.
* When Rori returns from College, Wyn comments on how buff he's gotten. When he says he's just been chopping wood, she suggests he do it in front of the magic mirrors so he can make money off of it.
** He also smells like elf weed, and when Wyn offers to prestidigitate it away before their mom smells it, Rori tells her that their mom's the one who gave it to him in the first place.
-->'''Megwen:''' I had to give him a good strain, his was terrible!\\
'''Wyn:''' Was it all buds again?\\
'''Megwen:''' Always! He's a terrible gardener. Your father has tried to teach him so much and he just keeps on chopping wood instead of taking lessons.
** The continue to roast him for being an accountant and liking numbers more than gardening and not smoking better weed.
* Eventually the eldest daughter Merethyl arrives and immediately starts trying to sell her juice-cleanse-scheme to people. Her brother Sevalor tells her to stop, because mom said the only MLM allowed in the house is Killian.
* Eldest child Bridge arrives with their spouse and all her kids, who are in their 30s (equivalent to a mortal's 4 or 5). The kids are fascinated by Artie and start asking about whether he has lungs or gills. He genuinely doesn't know. Another kid ask if he's poisonous, and Artie says he's "certainly left some people wrecked".
* Xilwyn tries to tell her family that she's Cacophony, but she blurts it out so fast nobody understands. She asks Artie for help and Artie, confused, thinks she's trying to tell her family about her new girlfriend, which makes everyone extremely excited.
** Everyone thinks she's kidding about the Cacophony part, so she leaves to get changed and tells Artie to distract the family. Artie ends up wrangling the kids again and freaks out that they're so sticky. We also get to hear Annie doing a perfect imitation of a 5 year old asking questions and then giggling when they get mixed up between "Eladrin" and "alligator".
** When Cacophony emerges, the whole family is shocked and Killian straight up faints.
** Her parents happily announce that they've known all along and are so proud of her for telling them. In fact, they were [[spoiler: anti-monarchist revolutionaries in their 160s and deposed the king centuries earlier]]!
** Once the floodgates are open, Wyn ends up gushing about Thazita and drops that she's a seeker, she's from space, they've been adventuring in space, and there's an evil space cult trying to destroy everything. Megwyn blinks a little bit but just rolls with it.
*** When she lets slip that Aelfgifu is a starheart, she tells her mom not to tell anyone. Internally she grimaces that the entire bridge club will pobably know by tomorrow. Fortunately, Filauriel promises to spread misinformation on her behalf.
** Wyn tries to defuse the situation by asking Artie to share. Artie shares his tattoo, which involves him hiking his pants halfway down. Merethil and Bridge cover the kids' eyes while Killian, who'd gone to hide in his room, emerges to get a better look.
-->'''Artie:''' I got it from a minotaur -\\
'''Wyn:''' He then made love to the minotaur.\\
'''Artie:''' Absolutely nothing about that was loving.
* As soon as Wyn tells her they'll spend the night, Megwen declares they can go through all the old photo albums and mementos and yearbooks.
** Killian tells Artie he can spend the night in his room. Artie grimaces and considers walking into the woods.
[[AC: Episode 119 - Temperance]]
* Jyll ''very'' unsure about how to broach the subject of her speaking with Baphomet and getting boons from him with Mother Sylvia, so she starts "I have a dog now...I think it's a dog...it's shaped like a dog."
** Sylvia urges Jyll to be vigilant in case the infernal hound tries to tempt her with anything, and while Jyll acknowledges this she's skeptical that it's capapble of doing much more than taking a fiery piss in the corner. And then has to snap at it when it tries to do exactly that.
[[/folder]]
