History Funny / HotShots

21st Apr '16 12:54:23 PM Dragon
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** He has a shell in his head, and the only way his hairpiece stays on is by having a quarter of his head magnetized.

to:

** He has a shell the size of a fist in his head, head (from Pork Chop Hill), and the only way his hairpiece stays on is by having a quarter of his head magnetized.
21st Apr '16 12:48:27 PM Dragon
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** His skull has been made of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CorningWare CorningWare]] ever since Normandy.
17th Nov '15 9:10:12 AM CynicalBastardo
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* [[TheFunInFuneral Deadmeat's funeral]]. Upon hearing the twenty one gun salute, Admiral Benson pulls out his sidearm and returns fire. [[CrazyPrepared He's even carrying grenades with him]].
16th Sep '15 10:27:13 AM speedyboris
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* When Topper and Kent fight, they put in mouth guards but this causes them to [[TheUnintelligible be unable to understand what each other is saying.]] Then Topper punches Kent:
--> '''Kent''': Augh! My face!\\
'''Topper''': My hand!
16th Sep '15 10:21:32 AM speedyboris
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* Roy? ROY!
* Washout ejects...right into the underside of Deadmeat's plane.
-->'''Washout''': Do me a favor, don't land!



* "Why are you mad at me? ''He's'' the one who ate your father!"
* Admiral Benson's war wounds:
** He had most of his bladder blown off at Guadalcanal.
** He has a shell in his head, and the only way his hairpiece stays on is by having a quarter of his head magnetized.
** Has sensitive ear canals because he took a bullet in Corregidor. He's able to pull a piece of cloth in one ear and out the other.
** He can't smell because his nostrils were fried in Panmunjom.
** He has ceramic eyes, due to a bazooka in the face at Little Bighorn or Okinawa... "the one without the Indians."



* This, when the crew is out at sea:
--> '''Benson''': Holy Cow! My cap blew off! Swing her round. We'll pick it up.\\
'''Officer''': But, sir, we're on the mission.\\
'''Benson''': Good thinking. We'll pick it up on the way back. We gotta mark the spot, though. Put Robinowitz in a life raft. Have him row in circles until we return.\\
'''Officer''': It could be ''days''.\\
'''Benson''': (slightly annoyed) ...Then put some food in the life raft, for God's sake, man. Do I have to think of everything? We'll tape his favorite shows, he won't miss anything!
* "Why are you mad at me? ''He's'' the one who ate your father!"

to:

* This, when Washout ejects...right into the crew is out at sea:
--> '''Benson''': Holy Cow! My cap blew off! Swing her round. We'll pick it up.\\
'''Officer''': But, sir, we're on the mission.\\
'''Benson''': Good thinking. We'll pick it up on the way back. We gotta mark the spot, though. Put Robinowitz in a life raft. Have him row in circles until we return.\\
'''Officer''': It could be ''days''.\\
'''Benson''': (slightly annoyed) ...Then put some food in the life raft, for God's sake, man.
underside of Deadmeat's plane.
-->'''Washout''':
Do I have to think of everything? We'll tape his favorite shows, he won't miss anything!
* "Why are you mad at me? ''He's'' the one who ate your father!"
me a favor, don't land!



* "Morale on this base is shot to hell. Just look out there. ''(looking at a painting)'' Quiet. Hardly a man moving. Roy? ROY! ''(swats hand down)'' Ugh. Huh? I even went to school with that man. It's just not the same. Been ignoring me all day. Remind me to send him a note."
** In the same scene, his total 180 on Dead Meat Thompson, who he was praising earlier:
--> '''Block''': Sir, may I say something? I know Harley acted irresponsibly. But his kind lives on the edge. Always willing to take a chance. Now, we need Topper for this mission for just that reason.\\
'''Benson''': I like your thinking, Colonel. Besides, Thompson wasn't that good a pilot anyway. He only had a small family. The kids are a pain in the ass. The wife's on the sauce. [[SpeakIllOfTheDead Poor bastard's better off dead.]]
* This, when the crew is out at sea:
--> '''Benson''': Holy Cow! My cap blew off! Swing her round. We'll pick it up.\\
'''Officer''': But, sir, we're on the mission.\\
'''Benson''': Good thinking. We'll pick it up on the way back. We gotta mark the spot, though. Put Robinowitz in a life raft. Have him row in circles until we return.\\
'''Officer''': It could be ''days''.\\
'''Benson''': (slightly annoyed) ...Then put some food in the life raft, for God's sake, man. Do I have to think of everything? We'll tape his favorite shows, he won't miss anything!



* Admiral Benson's war wounds:
** He had most of his bladder blown off at Guadalcanal.
** He has a shell in his head, and the only way his hairpiece stays on is by having a quarter of his head magnetized.
** Has sensitive ear canals because he took a bullet in Corregidor. He's able to pull a piece of cloth in one ear and out the other.
** He can't smell because his nostrils were fried in Panmunjom.
** He has ceramic eyes, due to a bazooka in the face at Little Bighorn or Okinawa... "the one without the Indians."
16th Sep '15 10:14:13 AM speedyboris
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Added DiffLines:

* Admiral Benson's war wounds:
** He had most of his bladder blown off at Guadalcanal.
** He has a shell in his head, and the only way his hairpiece stays on is by having a quarter of his head magnetized.
** Has sensitive ear canals because he took a bullet in Corregidor. He's able to pull a piece of cloth in one ear and out the other.
** He can't smell because his nostrils were fried in Panmunjom.
** He has ceramic eyes, due to a bazooka in the face at Little Bighorn or Okinawa... "the one without the Indians."
16th Sep '15 10:03:42 AM speedyboris
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* On take-off for the mission, a small yipping dog chases after one of the planes taking off.
16th Sep '15 10:00:50 AM speedyboris
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* "I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself, 'What I wouldn't give to be twenty years younger. [[HoYay And a woman]].'"



--> '''Benson''': You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

to:

--> '''Benson''': I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself, 'What I wouldn't give to be twenty years younger. [[HoYay And a woman]]. You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.life.
* Before take-off in training:
--> "Show me what you can do.\\
Copy that, Purple Fluffer Nutter.\\
Roger that, Milli Vanilli Chilly Willy."
16th Sep '15 9:52:04 AM speedyboris
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* The horrible doctor when Dead Meat is taken to the hospital:
--> '''Doc''': We gotta work fast. I got a lunch.\\
'''Topper''': I think you're missing the big picture, Doc.\\
'''Doc''': Nurse, check his penis; is it longer than mine?\\
'''Nurse''': No, Doctor.\\
'''Doc''': Good. Now this is gonna hurt. ''(bites Dead Meat's nose)''\\
'''Dead Meat''': Ow!\\
'''Doc''': Nurse, give me 15cc of morphine, quickly! ''(puts the needle in himself)''\\
'''Topper''': Can you save him?\\
'''Doc''': Can't be sure. I'm not a good doctor.
16th Sep '15 9:48:59 AM speedyboris
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* [[Disney/PeterPan "Wendy, I can fly!"]]
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