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** And even before that, he only ends up at the class because he's chasing after Trin, and at one point he and Garlic commandeer a pair of bicycles, and Garlic ends up with one that has no tires, causing him no shortage of issues during the chase, including nearly getting run over by a truck.
--->'''Garlic:''' I was almost killed. A truck's bumper was ''that'' close from my nose. My whole life flashed before my eyes... And it wasn't even interesting.
--->'''Garlic:''' I was almost killed. A truck's bumper was ''that'' close from my nose. My whole life flashed before my eyes... And it wasn't even interesting.
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: [[YouNeedToGetLaid You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.]]
to:
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: [[YouNeedToGetLaid You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.]]]]
* In a bit of MoodWhiplash, after [[spoiler:Cronauer confronts Tuan about his role as a bomber, and gets a tearful MotiveRant, Tuan runs off and Cronauer is unable to keep up, then gives up with this line:]]
-->'''Cronauer:''' [''To himself''] Six months in Saigon, and [[spoiler:your best friend turns out to be a VC]]... [[SuddenlyShouting THIS IS NOT GONNA LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME!]]
* In a bit of MoodWhiplash, after [[spoiler:Cronauer confronts Tuan about his role as a bomber, and gets a tearful MotiveRant, Tuan runs off and Cronauer is unable to keep up, then gives up with this line:]]
-->'''Cronauer:''' [''To himself''] Six months in Saigon, and [[spoiler:your best friend turns out to be a VC]]... [[SuddenlyShouting THIS IS NOT GONNA LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME!]]
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
to:
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: [[YouNeedToGetLaid You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.]]
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Richard Nixon''': By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
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-->'''Richard Nixon''': By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.automobile.
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
* Cronauer's description of Dickerson: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
to:
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': How would you describe your sex life with your wife wife, Pat?
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Changed line(s) 2,3 (click to see context) from:
* Men's feedback after Hauke's shows is full of hilarious [[FloweryInsults Flowery Insults]]. "From a Marine in Da Nang: ''Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls.'' I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me."
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
to:
* Men's feedback after Hauke's Hauk's shows is full of hilarious [[FloweryInsults Flowery Insults]]. "From a Marine in Da Nang: ''Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls.'' I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me."
* AsHauke Hauk desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
* As
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Lt. Steven Hauk''': ''[Hearing the radio over the PA and obviously horrified]''Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
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-->'''Lt. Steven Hauk''': ''[Hearing the radio over the PA and obviously horrified]''Oh, horrified]'' Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
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Changed line(s) 5,21 (click to see context) from:
* The "interview" with Nixon: Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
Richard Nixon: That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no purpose.
Adrian Cronauer: So what are you saying, sir?
Richard Nixon: They lack the physical strength.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Richard Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian Cronauer: Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Richard Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
Richard Nixon: That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no purpose.
Adrian Cronauer: So what are you saying, sir?
Richard Nixon: They lack the physical strength.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Richard Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian Cronauer: Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Richard Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
to:
* The "interview" with Nixon: Adrian Cronauer: Nixon.
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe yourtesticles?
Richard Nixon:testicles?
-->'''Richard Nixon''': That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve nopurpose.
Adrian Cronauer:purpose.
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': So what are you saying,sir?
Richard Nixon:sir?
-->'''Richard Nixon''': They lack the physicalstrength.
Lt.strength.
-->'''Lt. StevenHauk: Oh, Hauk''': ''[Hearing the radio over the PA and obviously horrified]''Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer:me.
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': How would you describe your sex life with your wifePat?
Richard Nixon:Pat?
-->'''Richard Nixon''': It is unexcitingsometimes.
Adrian Cronauer:sometimes.
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you dothat?
Richard Nixon:that?
-->'''Richard Nixon''': By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your
Richard Nixon:
-->'''Richard Nixon''': That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no
Adrian Cronauer:
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': So what are you saying,
Richard Nixon:
-->'''Richard Nixon''': They lack the physical
Lt.
-->'''Lt. Steven
Adrian Cronauer:
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': How would you describe your sex life with your wife
Richard Nixon:
-->'''Richard Nixon''': It is unexciting
Adrian Cronauer:
-->'''Adrian Cronauer''': Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do
Richard Nixon:
-->'''Richard Nixon''': By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
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Changed line(s) 5,6 (click to see context) from:
* The "interview" with Nixon:
Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
to:
* The "interview" with Nixon:
Nixon: Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?testicles?
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* During one segment, Cronauer does an impression of Creator/WalterCronkite that's so convincing that several servicemen call HQ to ask if it really was him.
to:
* During one segment, Cronauer does an impression of Creator/WalterCronkite that's so convincing that several servicemen call HQ to ask if it really was him.him.
* The "interview" with Nixon:
Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
Richard Nixon: That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no purpose.
Adrian Cronauer: So what are you saying, sir?
Richard Nixon: They lack the physical strength.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Richard Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian Cronauer: Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Richard Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
* The "interview" with Nixon:
Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
Richard Nixon: That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no purpose.
Adrian Cronauer: So what are you saying, sir?
Richard Nixon: They lack the physical strength.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Richard Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian Cronauer: Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Richard Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
to:
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.snakebit.
* During one segment, Cronauer does an impression of Creator/WalterCronkite that's so convincing that several servicemen call HQ to ask if it really was him.
* During one segment, Cronauer does an impression of Creator/WalterCronkite that's so convincing that several servicemen call HQ to ask if it really was him.
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* Men's feedback after Hauke's shows is full of hilarious [[FloweryInsults Flowery Insults]]. "From a Marine in Da Nang: ''Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls.'' I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me."
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* Cronauer takes over an English class and teaches the students how to curse properly.
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
* As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
