Funny / Good Morning, Vietnam
- Cronauer takes over an English class and teaches the students how to curse properly.
- Men's feedback after Hauke's shows is full of hilarious Flowery Insults. "From a Marine in Da Nang: Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls. I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me."
- As Hauke desperately tries to argue against Cronauer's reinstatement, his boss finally tells him that he can't seem to figure out if he's shot, fucked, powder-burnt or snakebit.
- During one segment, Cronauer does an impression of Walter Cronkite that's so convincing that several servicemen call HQ to ask if it really was him.
- The "interview" with Nixon: Adrian Cronauer: Mr Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd rather delve into a more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
Richard Nixon: That they're soft and they're very shallow and they serve no purpose.
Adrian Cronauer: So what are you saying, sir?
Richard Nixon: They lack the physical strength.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian Cronauer: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Richard Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian Cronauer: Well, you can consider a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you into a female white dane or a very hell wung chihuaua. Mr. Nixon it is rumored that you have smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Richard Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.