History Funny / Godzilla1998

'''Phillipe:''' ''[sighs]''[[INeedAFreakingDrink I could use a coffee.]]

* Philippe's [[RunningGag sidequest]] to find a cup of coffee to his liking gets funnier and funnier thanks to Reno's deapan delivery.
-->'''Roche:''' Ugh! You call this coffee?!\\

'''Roche:''' [''grimaces at another coffee''] You said this was "French Roast"!\\
'''Underling:''' It says right there: 'French Roast'.\\
'''Roche:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' More cream.\\

'''Roche:''' [''sighs''][[INeedAFreakingDrink I could use a coffee.]]
* Another ridiculous moment from the chopper battle comes from when it was set off. The Army are all given the order to fire.... and after getting tapped by just a few bullets, 'Zilla casually ducks, allowing the incoming heavy artillery to wizz over his head and hit the enormous building behind him. The military looks so laughably incompetent by the error that 'Zilla doesn't even charge them in anger, but rather casually walks forward as if mildly amused.
* When Colonel Hicks angrily berates the Apache pilots that they told him they had a lock-on on Godzilla but instead missed and destroyed the Chrysler Building, his radioman responds in the same tone of voice.
** Moments before that when the Apache pilot watches his missile destroy one of New York's most iconic skyscrapers:

'''Radioman:''' (''to Hicks'') Negative impact, sir.\\
'''Mayor Ebert:''' Negative impact? That's the goddamn Chrysler Building we're talking about!
* The climax of Godzilla's pursuit of the Apaches. The pilot relievedly says [[TemptingFate "I think I lost him."]] Cue Godzilla rising up from beneath and chomping the copter to bits.

-->'''O'Neal:''' I can't believe it, uh... he did all of this and... we did nothing to him.\\

** The pair is of course standing in what used to be the largest pile of fish ever put in one place.

-->'''Philippe:''' I am Philippe Roaché, DGSE - Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure, blah blah blah...\\

--> '''Audrey:''' (''looks at him weird'') What are you doing? \\

** Later we find out that's ''exactly'' what she plans to do to him.
--->'''Lucy:''' (''cheers along with the others, then sees Animal on the TV'') That's my husband! That's my husband! Oh, my... I'm gonna kill him! (''goes back to whooping and cheering'')
* While running through Madison Square Garden, Animal shouts "Whoa!", freaking Audrey out as it sounds like they’ve run into more baby Zillas. It's actually because "This is where the Knicks, like, get showered and everything."

--> "...wrong floor."

-->'''Nick Tatopoulous''' (in obvious BringMyBrownPants mode): ''He looks angry...''

* During the cab chase, Audrey and Animal arguing over directions for Phillipe to take, completely ignoring the fact he's in the middle of some ''extreme'' driving to evade a pissed off Godzilla's efforts to crush, incinerate or devour them.

'''Animal:''' No, no- \\
'''Phillipe:''' ''[indicating Godzilla directly in front with jaws agape]'' [[SuddenlyShouting MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!]]\\

* When Godzilla has scooped up the cab Philipe has been driving into it's mouth, with the car rolling backward into it's throat, threatening to go down it's gullet.
-->'''Animal:''' You're going the wrong way, man, you're going the wrong way!\\
'''Philippe:''' Will you shut up!

[Later]\\

[By the end]\\
'''Animal:''' How you doing? You all right?

[Later]
-->'''Roche:''' [''grimaces at another coffee''] You said this was "French Roast"!\\

[By the end]
-->'''Roche:''' [''sighs''][[INeedAFreakingDrink I could use a coffee.]]

--> '''Pilot''': Ah, damn! Uh... that is a negative impact. I repeat, that is a negative impact.
--> '''Radioman''': (''to Hicks'') Negative impact, sir.
--> '''Mayor Ebert''': Negative impact? That's the goddamn Chrysler Building we're talking about!

--> '''Pilot''': I think I lost him.
--> '''Godzilla''': THINK AGAIN, [[PrecisionFStrike MOTHERFUCKER!]]

--> '''O'Neal''': I can't believe it, uh... he did all of this and... we did nothing to him.
--> '''Nick''': Ah, that's not true. We fed him.

-->'''Audrey''': Where's the fun in that?

--> '''Philippe''': I am Philippe Roaché, DGSE - Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure, blah blah blah...
--> '''Nick''': Sounds big.

--> '''Audrey''': (''looks at him weird'') What are you doing?
--> '''Animal''': Can't let Lucy know. She'll hurt me.

--> '''Lucy''': (''cheers along with the others, then sees Animal on the TV'') That's my husband! That's my husband! Oh, my... I'm gonna kill him! (''goes back to whooping and cheering'')

--> '''Animal''': Ah...What do we do now?
--> '''Philippe''': Running would be a good idea.

-->'''Audrey''': Broadway?
-->'''Animal''': No, no-
-->'''Phillipe''': ''[indicating Godzilla directly in front with jaws agape]'' [[SuddenlyShouting MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!]]
-->'''Audrey and Animal''': Broadway!

--> '''Animal''': You're going the wrong way, man, you're going the wrong way!
--> '''Philippe''': Will you shut up!

* Also, Animal and Philippe are great [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarkers]].
--> '''Animal''': Ah...What do we do now?
--> '''Philippe''': Running would be a good idea.

* When Colonel Hicks angrily berates the Apache pilots that they told him they had a lock-on on Godzilla but instead missed and destroyed the Chrysler Building, his radioman responds in the same tone of voice.
** Moments before that when the Apache pilot watches his missile destroy one of New York's most iconic skyscrapers:
--> '''Pilot''': Ah, damn! Uh... that is a negative impact. I repeat, that is a negative impact.
--> '''Radioman''': (''to Hicks'') Negative impact, sir.
--> '''Mayor Ebert''': Negative impact? That's the goddamn Chrysler Building we're talking about!
* When Animal is about to sneak out of his own apartment.
--> '''Audrey''': (''looks at him weird'') What are you doing?
--> '''Animal''': Can't let Lucy know. She'll hurt me.
** Later we find out that's ''exactly'' what she plans to do to him.
--> '''Lucy''': (''cheers along with the others, then sees Animal on the TV'') That's my husband! That's my husband! Oh, my... I'm gonna kill him! (''goes back to whooping and cheering'')
* The climax of Godzilla's pursuit of the Apaches. The pilot relievedly says [[TemptingFate "I think I lost him."]] Cue Godzilla rising up from beneath and chomping the copter to bits.
** A [=YouTube=] comment made this better:
--> '''Pilot''': I think I lost him.
--> '''Godzilla''': THINK AGAIN, [[PrecisionFStrike MOTHERFUCKER!]]

* Audrey's reaction when Nick comes to the conclusion that Godzilla produces asexually:
-->'''Audrey''': Where's the fun in that?

--> '''Philippe''': Will you shut up!
* Philippe's [[RunningGag sidequest]] to find a cup of coffee to his liking gets funnier and funnier thanks to Reno's deapan delivery.
-->'''Roche:''' Ugh! You call this coffee?!\\
'''Underling:''' No, I call this America.\\
[Later]
-->'''Roche:''' [''grimaces at another coffee''] You said this was "French Roast"!\\
'''Underling:''' It says right there: 'French Roast'.\\
[By the end]
-->'''Roche:''' [''sighs''][[INeedAFreakingDrink I could use a coffee.]]
* Another ridiculous moment from the chopper battle comes from when it was set off. The Army are all given the order to fire.... and after getting tapped by just a few bullets, 'Zilla casually ducks, allowing the incoming heavy artillery to wizz over his head and hit the enormous building behind him. The military looks so laughably incompetent by the error that 'Zilla doens't even charge them in anger, but rather casually walks forward as if mildly amused.
* While running through Madison Square Garden, Animal shouts “Whoa!”, freaking Audrey out as it sounds like they’ve run into more baby Zillas. It’s actually because “This is where the Knicks, like, get showered and everything.”

* In more meta example, but the fact that Toho, creators of the original Godzilla, hated this version so much that they first disowned the creature as Godzilla in GMK, then literally had the monster re-trademarked just to have the actual Godzilla blow it up in Final Wars. How petty.

* In a meta sense, just Godzilla '98's design, which...looks hardly anything like the original Godzilla, with a big chin and lanky limbs. Sure, it's a giant bipedal lizard with dorsal spines, and that's literally where the resemblance ends.

-->'''Underling:''' It says right there: 'French Roast'.

--> Underling: "It says right there: 'French Roast'."

* Philippe's [[RunningGag sidequest]] to find a cup of coffee to his liking, get's funnier and funnier thanks to Reno's deapan delivery.

* Another ridiculous moment from the chopper battle comes from when it was set off. The Army are all given the order to fire.... and after getting tapped by just a few bullets, 'Zilla casually ducks, allowing the incoming heavy artillery to wizz over his head and hit the enormous building behind him. The military looks so laughably incompetent by the error that 'Zilla doens't even charge them in anger, but rather casually walks forward as if mildly amused.

** A YouTube comment made this better:

* Another ridiculously moment from the chopper battle comes from when it was set off. The Army are all given the order to fire.... and after getting tapped by just a few bullets, 'Zilla casually ducks, allowing the incoming heavy artillery to wizz over his head and hit the enormous building behind him. The military looks so laughably incompetent by the error that 'Zilla doens't even charge them in anger, but rather casually walks forward as if mildly amused.

* Philippe's [[RunningGag sidequest]] to find a cup of coffee to his liking, get's funnier and funnier thanks to Reno's deapan delivery.

--> '''Philippe''': Will you shut up!

-->'''Audrey''': Where's the fun in that?

-->'''Nick Tatopoulous''' (in obvious BringMyBrownPants mode): ''He looks angry...''

** Also, Animal and Philippe are great [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarkers]].

** Yes, you can tell Philippe thinks very highly of his job.

** The Baby Godzilla's, and the popcorn!
** When Colonel Hicks angrily berates the Apache pilots that they told him they had a lock-on on Godzilla but instead missed and destroyed the Chrysler Building, his radioman responds in the same tone of voice.
** When Animal is about to sneak out of his own apartment.

* Nick's OhCrap moment (delievered beautifully by MatthewBroderick) when Godzilla finds his babies dead, and [[PapaWolf realizes he and his friends are responsible]].

** Also, Animal and Philippe are great deadpan snarkers.

--> '''Audrey''': (looks at him wierd) What are you doing?

--> '''Lucy''': (cheers along with the others, then sees Animal on the tv) That's my husband! That's my husband! Oh, my... I'm gonna kill him! (goes back to whooping and cheering)

** When Colonel Hicks angrily berates the Apache pilots that they told him they had a lock-on on Godzilla but instead missed and destroyed the Chryhsler Building, his radioman responds in the same tone of voice.