History Funny / FeetofClay

* In the diverse cultural mix of Ankh-Morpork, the words with lost or non-translated meanings get a lot of laughs; to wit, the robbers fainting in the horror that their dwarfish victims have gotten allies and were now going to hang them by the ''Bura'zak-ka'' (town hall) in punishment. Carrot makes it even scarier by admonishing them that they don't do things like that anymore in the modern city of Ankh Morpork (because Ankh Morpork doesn't have a town hall).

* In the diverse cultural mix of Ankh-Morpork, the words with lost or non-translated meanings get a lot of laughs; to wit, the robbers fainting in the horror that their dwarfish victims have gotten allies and were now going to hang them by the ''Bura'zak-ka'' (town hall) in punishment. Carrot actually made it even more scary by saying that they don't do things like that anymore in the modern city of Ankh Morpork (because Ankh Morpork doesn't have a town hall).

-->'I've given that viewpoint a lot of thought, sir, and reached the following conclusion: [[SophisticatedAsHell arseholes to the lot of 'em, sir]].'\\

* Vetinari's first encounter with Cheery, coming right after Vimes mentioning that his dinner is on the way:

* Vetinari seems to be trying not to laugh about Vimes punching Downey:

* Nobby gives the most epic {{Spit Take}} ever. A mouthful of brandy + a lit cigar = ''[[BoozeFlamethrower foom]]''.

* When Vimes heard Cheery Littlebottom's name for the first time, [[spoiler:and after everyone left the room]].

* Nobby's repeated proclamations that Commander Vimes woudl "go ''spare''!" if Nobby were made king.

-->'I've given that viewpoint a lot of thought, sir, and reached the following conclusion: arseholes to the lot of 'em, sir.'\\

* Nobby's repeated proclamations of "He'd go ''spare''!"
**
---> "...you'd be able to have him executed if you wished!"\\

* In the diverse cultural mix of Ankh Morpork, the words with lost or non-translated meanings get a lot of laughs; to wit, the robbers fainting in the horror that their dwarfish victims have gotten allies and were now going to hang them by the Bura'zak-ka (town hall) in punishment. Carrot actually made it even more scary by saying that they don't do things like that anymore in the modern city of Ankh Morpork (because Ankh Morpork doesn't have a town hall).

* Nobby gives the most epic {{Spit Take}} ever. A mouthful of brandy, a lit cigar: ''foom.''

* Those poor, idiot thieves. First they try to rob a dwarf bakery that is across the street from Captain Carrot's favorite cafe. Then they barge into the policeman's bar and take ''Angua'' hostage.

* Nobby gives the most epic {{Spit Take}} ever.

* Detritus's Public Service Announcement poster regarding Slab.

*** The best part is you can see Vimes just...refuse to accept Nobby as anything like a ruler. And Nobby would probably apologize and get back to his desk.

** Subtly enough, the ExactWords become important. Dorfl receives 'full and total ownership' of himself, but 'anything it does' is 'his responsibility'. Why act morally? Because then you can be proud to take responsibility for anything you've done.

The Patrician's hand covered his mouth for a moment.

* In the diverse cultural mix of Ankh Morpork, the words with lost or non-translated meanings get a lot of laughs; to wit, the robbers fainting in the horror that their dwarfish victims have gotten allies and were now going to hang them by the Bura'zak-ka[[hottip:*:town hall]] in punishment. Carrot actually made it even more scary by saying that they don't do things like that anymore in the modern city of Ankh Morpork[[hottip:*:because Ankh Morpork doesn't have a town hall]].

--->'''Priests:''' This [hiring Dorfl] is gross profanity and the worship of idols!\\
'''Vimes:''' I don't worship him, I'm just employing him. And he's far from idle. ''{deep breath}'' And if it's ''gross profanity'' you're looking for--

* The minor RunningGag involving a dwarf officer constantly dealing with a vampire. The vampire worked in a pencil factory (where the owner tripped over the vampire's cloak while carrying a box of pencils), as a sunglasses tester, at a job that required dealing with holy water, etc., and kept complaining about being temporarily killed while also insisting he had the right to work wherever he pleased.

* The minor RunningGag involving a dwarf officer constantly dealing with a vampire. The vampire works as a sunglasses tester, then at a job that requires dealing with holy water, then in a pencil factory, and keeps complaining about being temporarily killed while also insisting he has the right to work wherever he pleases.

-->'''Vetinari:''' That's practically Zen.