History Funny / FatherTed

* Sister Monica goads Dougal into giving the seemingly dead Jack the last rites. Dougal counts a famous atheist and a famous Rastafarian among the residents of Catholic Heaven, and his idea of Latin dissolves into reciting the names of Italian footballers:

-->'''Ted''': [[BrainBleach You realize that image will stay with me for the rest of my life?]]

-->'''Mrs. Doyle''': Now, and what do you say to a cup?
-->'''Jack''': FECK OFF, CUP!
-->'''Mrs. Doyle''': (''fondly'') Ah, he loves his cup of tea.
-->'''Jack''': FECK OFF! ''FECK '''OFF!''''' (''throws the cup at Mrs. Doyle, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint which misses and shatters behind her as she doesn't notice]]'')

-->'''Announcer at Funland:''' "A child has been lodged in the Tunnel of Goats...If we could have a nurse, please, to the Tunnel of Goats, thank you...A goat and a child have now become lodged together, and a nurse has become involved in the incident...Another nurse is required to release the nurse we asked for previously.”

--> ''(quietly, still smiling)'' "Oh no, it's Father Stone." ''(leaves without another word)''

* As Ted and Dougal sit in the waiting room of the hospital, Dougal expresses amazement that getting struck by lightning is life-threatening, as he got struck by lightning and didn’t go to the hospital. Ted replies that it’s because he’s not like other people, and adds that the worst that happened to him was that balloons kept sticking to him.

--> '''Dougal:''' Don't be silly, Ted. So what did you do, pray for him to be hit by lightning?

-->'''Jessop''': ''([[FateWorseThanDeath still locked in Jack's dirty underwear hamper]])'' I'm really... enjoying this.

-->'''Buzz:''' I know they're gonna love ya in the States, Ted. You put on a show! But remember, it's a competitive market! You'll be up against Billy Graham and those Nation of Islam guys! You gotta get your own inch, you gotta grab 'em! You know where to grab 'em?
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah, by the balls!
-->'''Buzz:''' I was gonna say by the shoulders...

* Ted is hit on the head with rolled-up paper and looks back to see another priest laughing. When this keeps happening he goes to confront the priest he thinks is doing it, who is blind and was laughing at comedy on his headphones (specifically, ''Series/MrBean'', famous for being entirely visual comedy). As Ted sheepishly returns to his seat, two nuns (one of whom is played by Pauline [=McLynn=] to make up for Mrs. Doyle's absence from the rest of the episode) throw a ball of paper at him and cackle like a pair of schoolgirls.

* Real-life example - Creator/DermotMorgan and Creator/ArdalOHanlon were primarily comedy performers rather than actors, so they would frequently forget their lines. Frank Kelly, who was a professional actor, would jokingly decry them as "feckin' amateurs".

* Real-life example - Creator/DermotMorgan and Ardal O'Hanlan were primarily comedy performers rather than actors, so they would frequently forget their lines. Frank Kelly, who was a professional actor, would jokingly decry them as "feckin' amateurs".

-->'''Father Fitzgerald:''' [-That'd be me Ted. I have an awful dreary monotonous voice, God help me...-]\\

--->'''Father Fitzgerald:''' [-That'd be me Ted. I have an awful dreary monotonous voice, God help me...-]

--->'''Father Fitzgerald:''' [-That'd be me Ted. I have an awful dreary monotonous voice, God help me...-]\\

* And to cap it all off, it seems Jack is NotQuiteDead.

* The best moment has to be the three guessing as to what is behind the next window on the advent calendar:

'''Ted''': Really? So, you've changed from your initial prediction of, what was it again? "Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." God Almighty, Dougal, where do you get these ideas from? I bet it's just a lovely angel. ''(to Jack)'' What do you think's under tomorrow's window, Father?\\

* When Father Ted leaves the parochial house for a few minutes to contemplate his future, he returns to find Mrs. Doyle has sent Dougal in his place to officiate at a funeral. Ted screams, '''"DOUGAL'S DOING A FUNERAL?! YOU LET ''DOUGAL'' DO A FUNERAL?!"''' [[TheFunInFuneral Cut to the funeral, where the hearse is in the grave. And on fire.]] As police and paramedics evacuate everyone in attendance.
-->'''Dougal:''' (''nonchalantly, to an outraged mourner who is covered in ash'') [[DissonantSerenity Sorry 'bout it]]. (''In the background, [[StuffBlowingUp the hearse explodes into flames]]'')

'''Ted''': ''(runs for dear life)''

* Father Stone's presence is enough to put make an entire room full of people sit in awkward silence, as seen when he stays for Ted's birthday party. When one priest stands up to leave, he asks if anyone else would like a lift home. Cue every other priest at the party (including Dougal) jumping up and running out of the room.

* Father Stone's presence is able to put make on an entire room full of people sit in awkward silence, as seen when he stays for Ted's birthday party. When one priest stands up to leave, he asks if anyone else would like a lift. Cue every other priest at the party (including Dougal) jumping up and running out of the room.

** Colm's concern that he doesn't have the time to be racist.
** Ted had just stepped outside to hurriedly catch up with and apologise to the Chinese people he'd offended, so the rumour that Ted was a racist had spread around the whole of Craggy Island ''within seconds''.

* Ted resorts to praying to the Lord to do something to cut Father Stone's stay short. Later in the hospital he blames himself for Father Stone's accident. Dougal tells him there's no way Ted could have caused such a freak accident.
--> '''Dougal:''' What did you do? Pray for him to get struck by lightning?

* The drunken priest in Todd's flashback, who has an [[UnexplainedAccent inexplicable]] [[UsefulNotes/AmericanAccents Southern accent]] and calls Dougal a "poor, strange idiot-boy" like it's the 19th century.

* The game of Cluedo is bookended by two funny moments. First, as Dougal picks up his cards, Ted, without missing a beat in his conversation with Father Hernandez, pulls the cards out of Dougal's hand and turns them around so that they are facing Dougal rather than the other players. Then, at the end of the scene, as Ted observes that the game has been going for five hours, Dougal picks up the "murder envelope" and asks Ted if there shouldn't be some cards in it.

* When Dougal invites StrawFeminist singer Niamh Connolly into the house, they sit in the front room in awkward silence until Dougal (having remembered to "make girls feel comfortable") asks "How's your bra?" Then later, he applies the "always give them what they want -- it's easier in the long run" line -- but it turns out she really likes ''the priests' house.''

* Father Noel Furlong's solo performance of [[Music/{{Queen}} "Bohemian Rhapsody".]]

* Mrs. Doyle sneaking downstairs to sabotage the tea machine. Followed by Dougal sneaking downstairs to watch a horror movie.

* The opening credits, where the helicopter filming the shots of Craggy Island closes in on the main characters -- whose waves of greeting turn into frantic attempts to get out of the way as the camera crashes into them.

* Real-life example -- Creator/DermotMorgan and Ardal O'Hanlan were primarily comedy performers rather than actors, so they would frequently forget their lines. Frank Kelly, who was a professional actor, would jokingly decry them as "feckin' amateurs".