History Funny / EverybodyLovesRaymond

14th Jul '16 8:05:13 PM Chiropteru
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-->'''Father Hubley''': I think we should leave.\\
'''Marie''': But Father Hubley, we haven't eaten yet!\\
'''Father Hubley''': When I say "we", I'm including the lasagna.
12th Jul '16 11:20:06 AM speedyboris
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* "A Date For Peter":
** Robert being forced to be the bartender at the cocktail party.
--> '''Robert''': Why couldn't you just hire a bartender? The girl over there wanted a Singapore Sling. I don't know what the hell that is. I'm not Asian!
** Then when Peter arrives, he tells Robert, "I think I will have a sloe gin fizz, barkeep." Robert dryly replies, "You'll have a ''beer''."
** Ray accuses Debra of inviting Peggy to the cocktail party solely because she wants a partner in her on-going fight against her enemy. Marie, clueless, asks, "Who's that??" To avoid answering the question, Debra screams, "YOU ARE RUINING THIS FOR PETER!!!"
30th Jun '16 9:52:36 AM speedyboris
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** This line from Robert: "Look! Up in the sky! It's bad husband!"
29th Jun '16 11:22:27 AM speedyboris
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* In "The Surprise Party", Debra gets it out of Ray that he's planning a surprise party for her, and wants him to go with a Chinese theme. After excitedly saying she's going to call a restaurant to see if they do catering, Ray complains, "Great. Now she's too ''happy'' to have sex."
29th Jun '16 9:53:52 AM speedyboris
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** Frank is no help when Ray says he has a mid-life crisis:
--> '''Frank''': Don't worry so much. You die, you did what you did.\\
'''Marie''': Stop saying "die". It's obvious Raymond's afraid of dying.\\
'''Frank''': What am I supposed to tell him? That it's not going to happen? It's gonna happen! ''(to Ray)'' YOU'RE GONNA DIE.\\
'''Ray''': [[SarcasmMode Thank you, Dad.]]
29th Jun '16 9:49:58 AM speedyboris
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--> '''Frank''': I don't like games. Follow the rules, pay attention, wait your turn it's just like work, dressed up like play.

to:

--> '''Frank''': I don't like games. Follow the rules, pay attention, wait your turn turn... it's just like work, dressed up like play.
29th Jun '16 8:30:12 AM speedyboris
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* In "Homework", Ray and Robert are playing a video game when Debra walks in and criticizes him for not reading the books given to him by the school board (which would show him what they should cut).
--> '''Robert''': Cubby, you can't play video games if you haven't finished your homework. (...) You know, Raymond, every day at the end of my shift, I have a mountain of paperwork. And you know when I do it?\\
'''Ray''': When you're supposed to be out buying nose-hair clippers?\\
'''Robert''': I do it right away. Because there is no worse feeling than when you've put something off to the last second, and it's getting dark, and the clock is ticking, and you realize... ''you're never gonna make it.''
21st Jun '16 12:54:49 PM speedyboris
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* "Bad Moon Rising": After Ray plays an audio recording of Debra yelling at Ray, Debra is hurt and tells him, "You are a gigantic ass!", leaving the bedroom. Ray follows, quietly speaking into the tape recorder, "10:32: "Gigantic ass"."

to:

* "Bad Moon Rising": After "Marie and Frank's New Friends": Seth, the Stipes' son, meets Ray plays an audio recording of Debra yelling at Ray, Debra is hurt and says he has a similar writing style to Ray:
--> '''Seth''': Well, mostly in internet chat rooms, and I call in to all the sports radio shows. You probably heard me: "Seth from Massapequa."
** When Ray gives Seth his opinion on sportswriting, Harry Stipe
tells him, "You are Seth, "Now ''that''s a gigantic ass!", leaving the bedroom. Ray follows, quietly speaking into the tape recorder, "10:32: "Gigantic ass"."pro, son. That's why you're still on that internet!"


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* "Bad Moon Rising": After Ray plays an audio recording of Debra yelling at Ray, Debra is hurt and tells him, "You are a gigantic ass!", leaving the bedroom. Ray follows, quietly speaking into the tape recorder, "10:32: "Gigantic ass"."
20th Jun '16 12:02:28 PM speedyboris
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* "Humm Vac": Debra tries to make a mess in Marie's house to prove that she needs the Humm Vac as much as Debra, but when she grabs a potted plant to dump some dirt, she's annoyed to find: "Plastic. It's PLASTIC!"

to:

* "Humm Vac": Debra tries to make a mess in Marie's house to prove that she needs the Humm Vac as much as Debra, herself, but when she grabs a potted plant to dump some dirt, she's annoyed to find: "Plastic. It's PLASTIC!"
20th Jun '16 11:19:37 AM speedyboris
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--> '''Debra''': [[SarcasmMode Yes, Marie, I got Ray a ''porn'' machine for Christmas.]]

to:

--> '''Debra''': [[SarcasmMode Yes, Marie, I got Ray a ''porn'' PORN machine for Christmas.]]
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.EverybodyLovesRaymond