History Funny / ER

-->'''Greene:''' [[Don'tBeRidiculous Because putting his hand in a bucket of warm water would be juvenile.]]

* [[ButtMonkey Carter]] is passed out grabbing a nap in an empty exam room. Greene and Lewis, being two of the more mature members of the staff, busy themselves with [[ForTheLulz putting his leg in a cast]]. Then they have the receptionist page him, leading to Carter stumbling groggily into the hallway before losing his balance and falling on his face.

* "Friendly Fire" features husband and wife arms dealers coming in straight from a gun show where he got shot in the leg. The wife shows off the merchandise and ''tries to sell guns'' in the reception area, letting people handle non-functional samples (legally they're not allowed to sell functional grenade launchers but they sell 'kits' that make them functional) . Jerry picks up a grenade launcher and speaks of [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill using it on the neighbor's dog who keeps doing his business in Jerry's yard]]. He puts the grenade launcher to his shoulder and mimes tracking the dog. "Woof...Woof..." Then he pulls the trigger on the third "Woof" and fires a grenade into the parking lot, where it blows up an ambulance.

-->'''Carter:''' Ohhhhh... (''starts scrubbing in more gleefully'') ...there is a God!

* In "Homeless for the Holidays", Mark becomes the owner of a middle-aged dog that previously belonged to a patient who died. He intends to give the dog to Rachel, but after seeing that her stepfather Craig (the man whom Jen left Mark for) already bought her two puppies, he tries to leave. Craig catches him and tries to pet the dog, [[EvilDetectingDog only for the dog to bite him]]. Mark chastises the dog in front of Jen and Rachel, but as soon as everyone turns around, he whispers to the dog, ''sotto voce'', "Good doggie."

* A RunningGag in the otherwise serious episode "Random Acts" is when the nurses and doctors find a trashy novel with characters based on everyone in the show, and they decide Carol wrote it.

* Creator/ScottGrimes delivering this line off-camera in the Season 13 outtakes: "This marriage is clearly a marriage truly made in the ER, because if it was [Mercy or Northwestern originally] House or Grey's Anatomy there'd be better food and booze!" Everyone loses it.

* A throwaway gag has Greene walk over to a paramedic bringing in two guys with billiard balls in their mouths[[labelnote:*]]A billiard ball is perfectly sized that it can go ''into'' your mouth, but getting it ''out'' requires ''breaking your jaw'' as you can't open your mouth far enough. DoNotTryThisAtHome[[/labelnote]]. He sighs and asks what happened.
-->'''Paramedic''': Tweedledee here ''(points at one guy)'' put it in his mouth as part of bet. We showed up and asked what happened, and Tweedledum ''(point at the other guy)'' [[TooDumbToLive showed us]].

* Carter is bringing a patient in while Benton [[TrainingFromHell grills him on various medical details]] of the patient before asking, in the same demanding tone of voice, for the patient's mother's maiden name. Carter frantically flips back and forth through the patient's chart before nurse Haleh informs him that the last bit was a joke.
** Benton, in a bit of an OOC moment, chuckles as he walks off while Carter fumbles through the chart.

* Carter taking out Benton's appendix, listening to "[[Music/RichardWagner The Ride of the Valkyries]]" and [[MundaneMadeAwesome actively turning the whole thing into the most portentous, incredible medical procedure]] ''ever''.
** What really makes it work is that the authoritative Dr. Hicks seems to enjoy the moment as much as Carter does.

* One early episode features husband & wife arms dealers coming in straight from a gun show where he got shot in the leg. The wife shows off the merchandise... ThatCameOutWrong. The wife ''tries to sell guns'' in the reception area, letting people handle non-functional samples (legally they're not allowed to sell functional grenade launchers but they sell 'kits' that make them functional) . Jerry the Receptionist picks up a grenade launcher and speaks of [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill using it on the neighbor's dog who keeps doing his business in Jerry's yard]]. He puts the grenade launcher to his shoulder and mimes tracking the dog. "Woof...Woof...Woof.." Then he pulls the trigger and fires a grenade into the parking lot, where it blows up an ambulance.
-->'''Wife:''' Damn...I guess Earl used a kit on that one.
* In "Fathers and Sons", Doug has just told Mark that he's reconciled with Carol. Mark is stunned to hear this (Doug had cheated on her left and right the first time they dated).

* In a late Season 5 episode, Greene and Corday are suturing up a patients head wounds and the talk gradually turns into ThatCameOutWrong, which is even lampshaded by Corday herself... and the power then goes out.

* Malucci is complaining about the slow intake when Carter brings over a patient with a history of vomiting and diarrhoea. Malucci then grills Carter about some other aspects of her history, diagnoses the patient with "Jamaican Vomiting Sickness" (an actual disease) with Carter in disbelief. What sells the scene is the absolute deadpan expressions of Weaver and Finch, who are watching the entire scene.
* At the beginning of one episode, Dr. Corday walks into her apartment, where her visiting mother is making breakfast. Out of their bedroom, in his underwear, walks ''Mark Greene's father'', who's been living with Mark, but has apparently taken a fancy on his son's girlfriend's mother.
* Carol is in the middle of receiving an epidural when Dr. Coburn walks in. She takes one look at the situation and congratulates Mark for being the father. Cue epic "WTF" look on Mark's face.
* This exchange between Luka and Carol:

* In "Homecoming", Dr. Corday had been having a bad rash all over her hands after a trip to the woods with Dr. Greene. When Dr. Romano asked about her getting exposed to poison ivy, she just looked back at him blankly (being British, she had no idea what it looked like). She asks if it will spread and Benton says that it will spread to other body parts that it has contact with. Elizabeth mutters, "[[OhCrap Uh oh]]", and the next shot is Dr. Green scratching his crotch. But the joke just keeps on giving, Malucci sees him scratching in front of the new med studants and asks him if there's a "problem with the Australian boys? You keep scratching down under". Then while Elizabeth is giving him some cream and a shot for the rash, Haleh enters and can barely hold back laughter as she catches them.

* One episode involves prankster Dr. Malucci having been hit with a sedative after a prank gone wrong. He remained pretty much passed out the rest of the episode. Luka decides to have a little more fun with him by dermabonding his hand to his forehead.

* Creator/GeorgeClooney had a tendency to prank his fellow colleagues while on set. Two incidents stand out:

* One memorable outtake has Paul [=McCrane=] (in a scene where Lucy bangs on Romano's door in the middle of the night to find him very pissed) somehow hide another (gigantic) actor, wearing nothing but a towel and carrying a pair of handcuffs and a bottle of wine, behind him. [=McCrane=] then flirts with him, shoo him upstairs, and call him "honey" before asking Lucy to join them. Kellie Martin, the director, and the tech crew utterly lose it.

* Creator/AlexKingston starts kissing Laura Innes out of absolutely nowhere. Anthony Edwards reacts by turning to the camera, [[GirlOnGirlIsHot giving a grin and a thumbs up]].

* Creator/ScottGrimes delivering this line off-camera: "This marriage is clearly a marriage truly made in the ER, because if it was [Mercy or Northwestern originally] House or Grey's Anatomy there'd be better food and booze!" Everyone loses it.

* One scene from "Dying is Easy" has Dubenko explaining to Neela what a key party is. Parminder Nagra walks off screen and clearly states "Makes my labia wet" in one of the most cheery monotones possible. Creator/LelandOrser and Aasif Mandvi go off-camera and crack up.
* John Stamos and Creator/GoranVisnjic run through a scene correctly together, only for Goran to pause and state "I thought I fucked up but I didn't."

* "Tell them I'm pregnant, maybe they'll cut me some [slack originally] snack and...(trails off into laughter)" Doubly funny as Sherry Stringfield really ''was'' pregnant at the time.

* Eriq La Salle's inability to pronounce "Megalomaniacal" (this apparently turned into "Maniacal sadist" in the end).
* Paul [=McCrane=] absolutely ruining a take by finishing the scene perfectly, only to then turn to the camera and pull a face that is completely inappropriate to the scene.

* Mekhi Phifer and Sharif Atkins play-wrestling mid-scene.
* Anthony Edwards encouraging Alex Kingston to moon the camera while singing the Hokey Pokey.
* Erik Palladino utterly screwing up his TheReasonYouSuckSpeech mid-sentence.

* Anthony Edwards saying "Show me your tits" and Alex Kingston's startled "[[BigWhat What?!]]"

* In "The Secret Sharer", as Doug prepares to receive a community service award for his heroics in the previous episode, he practices a TheReasonYouSuck speech that he intends to level at all his supervisors. When he gets up to the podium, he seems to be starting it. Cut to Mark in the audience, clearly [[SayYourPrayers praying like crazy]] that he'll change his mind. He does, and the look of relief on Mark's face is hilarious.

* In an early first season episode, a patient comes in with heroin withdrawal and keeps grunting the same note over and over, sounding like a car alarm, while Greene and Lewis work on their write-ups. They start mimicking him.

* In a season two episode, Weaver has set up a camera in a trauma room in order to critique the way personnel handles cases. As she's reviewing the tape for the ER staff, she rewinds it to find an accidentally recorded conversation between Mark and Doug. Earlier in the day, Mark had pulled Doug into the room to confide in him that he was nervous about his upcoming date, the first since his divorce. Thanks to Kerry's fumbling, the entire ER staff gets to hear him confess to Doug that the only person he's ever had sex with is his ex-wife.

* "Orion in the Sky" has Mark deal with a mildly annoying patient.

** Kerry then takes Romano's large bequest to the hospital and uses it to open an LGBTQ health center.

* When Carter steps in to County General in his first episode back, Gates initially confuses him with Doug Ross.

* Benton's reaction when Carter shows him a picture of his wife Kem.
-->"YOU married a sister?"

** Not sure what Reese signed to Benton while he was speaking to Dr. Corday at the reception for the Carter Center, but he seemed to pick up on their past relationship given Benton's flustered reaction.

!!The TV Series.
[[folder: General]]

--->'''Corday''': Robert, this is a dog.
--->'''Romano''': Correction Lizzie: This is ''my'' dog.

--->'''Paramedic''': Tweedledee here ''(points at one guy)'' put it in his mouth as part of bet. We showed up and asked what happened, and Tweedledum ''(point at the other guy)'' [[TooDumbToLive showed us.]]

[[folder: Season 1]]

** Later in the same episode, a scary-looking biker who had brought his wife into the ER proceeds to grab a saw and cut the cast off for Carter, much to Carter's dismay.

* They receive a phone call from the 911 dispatcher about a pizza guy who has been shot during a robbery attempt, and that he is [[ComingInHot driving himself to the hospital.]] Cue the pizza guy's car [[DynamicEntry smashing through the entrance to the hospital and ending up in the lobby.]] Tag (Carol's boyfriend) steps out of a nearby exam room and sees the chaos:

-->'''Greene''': What was that set on?
-->'''Nurse''': Two hundred.
-->'''Greene''': Well he ''should'' be okay.
** Earlier in the same episode, Carter foists a rectal exam onto Chen. The patient [[AssShove does not enjoy it.]]
-->'''Carter''': Deb, did you use lube?
-->'''[[Beat]]'''
-->'''Chen''': Was I supposed to?

[[folder: Season 2]]

[[folder: Season 3]]
* Carter taking out Benton's appendix, listening to [[Music/RichardWagner "The Ride of the Valkyries"]] and [[MundaneMadeAwesome actively turning the whole thing into the most portentous, incredible medical procedure]] ''ever''.

[[folder: Season 4]]

* "Fathers and Sons": Doug has just told Mark that he's reconciled with Carol. Mark is stunned to hear this (Doug had cheated on her left and right the first time they dated).
--> '''Mark''': "Does she make you take a lie detector test every week or something?"

[[folder: Season 5]]

[[folder: Season 6]]
* Malucci is complaining about the slow intake when Carter brings over a patient with a history of vomiting and diarrhoea. Malucci then proceeds to grill Carter about some other aspects of her history, diagnoses the patient with "Jamaican Vomiting Sickness" (an actual disease) with Carter in disbelief. What sells the scene is the absolute deadpan expressions of Weaver and Finch, who are watching the entire scene.

--->'''Luka''': We even have these little hearts (starts reading off of them) "Be Mine."
--->'''Carol''': I don't recommend you eating them.
--->'''Luka''': "Dear One."
--->'''Carol''': I gotta get to Radiology.
--->'''Luka''': "Cut-tie pie?"
--->'''Carol''': That's "Cutie Pie."
--->'''Luka''': [[DeadpanSnarker Oh thank you.]]

[[folder: Season 7]]
* In the episode called "Homecoming", Dr. Corday had been having a bad rash all over her hands after a trip to the woods with Dr. Greene. When Dr. Romano asked about her getting exposed to poison ivy, she just looked back at him blankly (being British, she had no idea what it looked like). She asks if it will spread and Benton says that it will spread to other body parts that it has contact with. Elizabeth mutters, "[[OhCrap Uh oh]]", and the next shot is Dr. Green scratching his crotch. But the joke just keeps on giving, Malucci sees him scratching in front of the new med studants and asks him if there's a "problem with the Australian boys? You keep scratching down under". Then while Elizabeth is giving him some cream and a shot for the rash, Haleh enters and can barely hold back laughter as she catches them.

---> '''Old Man''': Is she your wife?
---> '''Peter''': Nope.
---> '''Old Man''': [[HenpeckedHusband She talks like she's your wife]].
---> (the two burst out laughing)
* A season 7-ish episode involves prankster Dr. Malucci having been hit with a sedative after a prank gone wrong. He remained pretty much passed out the rest of the episode. Luka decides to have a little more fun with him by dermabonding his hand to his forehead.

[[folder: Season 8]]

--> '''Mark:''' Alright. What's the problem?\\

'''Mark:''' I have a brain tumor, and it's inoperable. ({{Beat}}) I win.

[[folder: Season 10]]

[[folder: Season 12]]
* In a late Season 12 episode, a deaf guy and his girlfriend come into the ER after he got beat up by the cops and she OD'd on drugs. Luckily Ray and Jerry are able to sort the situation out before long. The cops come around to apologise with Jerry translating. The boy signs back "I have a special sign for you" and then proceeds to flip off the cops. Jerry sheepishly tells the guys that he doesn't need a translation for that one.

[[folder: Season 15]]

--> "YOU married a sister?"

!!The DVD Outtakes.

* Creator/GeorgeClooney appeared to have a tendency to prank his fellow colleagues while on set. Two incidents stand out:
** The first involves Jerry pulling out a twinkie and delivering his line correctly, then afterwards going "it's a little lubey." (He'd covered the prop with lubricant)
** The second time he proceeded to scare the crap out of Julianna Marguiles by rigging a drawer.
* One memorable outtake has Paul [=McCrane=] (in a scene where Lucy bangs on Romano's door in the middle of the night to find him very pissed) somehow hide another (gigantic) actor, wearing nothing but a towel and carrying a pair of handcuffs and a bottle of wine, behind him. [=McCrane=] then proceeds to flirt with him, shoo him upstairs, and call him "honey" before asking Lucy to join them. Kellie Martin, the director, and the tech crew utterly lose it.

* Alex Kingston proceeds to start kissing Laura Innes out of absolutely nowhere. Anthony Edwards proceeds to react by turning to the camera, giving a grin and a thumbs up.
** Paul [=McCrane=] returns the favour in the Season 5 outtakes shortly after a stony-faced Alex Kingston delivers her line "The offer you made, were you serious?" by proceeding to kiss and glomp her.

** Another attempt: "I'd just like to say...just like to say...that this is clearly not working." Maura cannot stop corpsing.
* One scene has Dubenko explaining to Neela what a key party is. She walks off screen and clearly states "Makes my labia wet" in one of the most cheery monotones possible. Leland and the extra in that scene proceed to go off-camera and crack up.
* John Stamos and Goran run through a scene correctly together, only for Goran to pause and state "I thought I fucked up but I didn't."
* The cops are proceeding to walk Pratt outside and then Kerry jumps after them, attacking the guys begging them not to take her, only to utterly screw up that scene (I believe this was Laura Innes final episode)
* "Tell them I'm pregnant, maybe they'll cut me some [slack originally] snack and...(trails off into laughter)" Doubly funny as Sherry Springfield really WAS pregnant at the time.
* Sherry delivering a line to a patient, ending with "but in situations like these...". Someone off-camera yells "The memory goes first!" All she can do is swear.
* La Salle's inability to pronounce "Megalomaniacal." (this apparently turned into "Maniacal sadist" in the end)

* A rare non-ER example: during one of the Season 9 outtakes, the monkey proceeds to escape out of the net shot at it.

* Mekhi and Sharif proceeding to play-wrestle mid-scene.

* Malucci utterly screwing up his "TheReasonYouSuckSpeech" mid-sentence.

* Anthony Edwards saying "Show me your tits." and Alex Kingston's startled "What?!"
* Basically anytime Alex Kingston appears in a scene, her facial expressions are hilarious.

'''Old Lady:''' I have a hangnail!\\
'''Mark:''' I have an inoperable brain tumor. ({{Beat}}) I win.

---> '''Old Man''': She talks like she's your wife.

* Carter taking out Benton's appendix, listening to [[RichardWagner "The Ride of the Valkyries"]] and [[MundaneMadeAwesome actively turning the whole thing into the most portentous, incredible medical procedure]] ''ever''.

-->'''Greene''': Well he should be okay.

* When Carter steps in to County General at the beginning of the finale, Gates initially confuses him with Doug Ross.