History Funny / Defunctland

-->'''Kevin:''' ''I WILL FIND A PLATFORM TO TALK ABOUT THAT COURT CASE SO HELP ME GO- [SmashCut to credits]''

-->'''Kevin:''' Hi, I'm Kevin Perjurer, go to Youtube.com/Defucntland, whatever. Ok I'm here to talk about the Tigger court case!

-->'''''Kevin's Note:''' While the tools displayed in this scene are vintage craft tools of the era, pretty much everything else about how the Imagineers are working on the model is very wrong. This includes the use of the word "hook" (which I made up), a tool that has no sharp edge being used to trim a miniature tree, and the fact that [[OffTheShelfFX all of the foam is very clearly from JOANN Fabric in the year 2023.]] My apologies for these errors.''

---->'''American Adventure:''' $500,000 under budget! (10 weeks behind schedule)
---->'''Japan:''' Right on budget! (8 weeks behind schedule)
---->'''The Land:''' Growing has begun! [[FromBadToWorse (8 weeks behind schedule) ($3 million over budget)]]
---->'''Germany:''' Right on schedule! ([[WhatCouldHaveBeen boat ride delayed indefinitely]])
---->'''Mexico:''' [[HopeSpot Boat ride will open with park!]] ([[RunningGag 10 weeks behind schedule]])

* In the segment near the end about the park's construction, there's a sequence of status reports on several pavillions:
-->'''American Adventure:''' $500,000 under budget! (10 weeks behind schedule)
-->'''Japan:''' Right on budget! (8 weeks behind schedule)
-->'''The Land:''' Growing has begun! [[FromBadToWorse (8 weeks behind schedule) ($3 million over budget)]]
-->'''Germany:''' Right on schedule! ([[WhatCouldHaveBeen boat ride delayed indefinitely]])
-->'''Mexico:''' [[HopeSpot Boat ride will open with park!]] ([[RunningGag 10 weeks behind schedule]])
** This is followed by graphs of steel work in tons, film production budget, and [[TheTriple dinosaur expenses]].
** The segment then moves on to other subjects, and finally ends on one last status report, noting the status of the park 300 days until opening: [[BrickJoke 7 weeks behind schedule]].

--->''And now...some of the product launches hosted by Toys R Us Times Square''\\
or\\
''One of the first times the early 2000s' unique visual and cultural aesthetic can be viewed in retrospect''\\
or\\
''Oh my God, am I nostalgic for '''2003'''?''

** The cold opening consists of promotional footage for Disney's California Adventure that ends with Creator/MichaelEisner saying that he thinks "this is the beginning of a beautiful theme park." Kevin then [[BluntNo bluntly says that it wasn't.]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTBB_QeKhcM Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History]] has a few.
** Two men tell famed Disney designer John Hench that if he wants them to have the monorail run through the Contemporary Resort, they're prepared to resign. Hench doesn't respond, he simply scribbles something quickly onto a piece of paper and slides it over. It says, "We Resign", with two spaces beneath it, and the two men look at it and then at each other.
*** Even better: as the historical companion notes, ''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer this actually happened.]]''

** Two men tell famed Disney designer John Hench that if he wants them to have the monorail run through the Contemporary Hotel, they're prepared to resign. Hench doesn't respond, he simply scribbles something quickly onto a piece of paper and slides it over. It says, "We Resign", with two spaces beneath it, and the two men look at it and then at each other.

** The first major set piece shortly after doesn’t help matters:

*** Of the emails shown, only one does not involve participing in, or witnessing, a sexual act: someone recounting how their friend took an "aerial dump" by [[ExcrementStatement standing up and adding an extra log to the water]]. Even then, the sender still acknowledges that "some people [may be] into it".

--->''And now...some of the product launches hosted by Toys R Us Times Square''
---> or
--->''One of the first times the early 2000s' unique visual and cultural aesthetic can be viewed in retrospect''
--->or
--->''Oh my God, am I nostalgic for '''2003'''?''
* At the beginning of "Defunctland VR: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea", Kevin plays the part of Defunctland's CEO, addressing his employees at the close of a hard day's work... by reminding them that [[TakeThatScrappy they REALLY need engineers to work on Superstar Limo, and they ARE willing to pay time-and-a-half to anyone willing to volunteer]].

--->'''Website:''' I’ll do something clever here just give me a minute.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSMVeypDWog The History of Freedomland U.S.A.]]" recounts how C.V. "Woody" Wood, Disneyland's first vice president and general manager, often brought Walt to loggerheads throughout the park's construction and initial year of operation, due in part to their own incompatible personalities (Woody was a less-than-scrupulous born salesman who put profit above all else, while Walt was a grandiose perfectionist who obsessed over and micromanaged the smallest creative details), as well as Woody's increasing efforts to make himself the face of the park, which chafed Walt's ego. Finally, when Woody visited the newly built Mickey Mouse Club Circus and saw it wasn't attracting very big crowds, he suggested cutting the show's runtime in half to make it a less involving and more palatable attraction; Walt promptly exploded and ordered Woody to get back to the parking lot, yelling, "God damn you, this is ''my circus!"'' [[CallBack Cue Dream Builders plaque.]]

--->"Moses flew back to New York, having lost the fight, and worse, to the people of Seat-le."[[note]]Kevin uses the correct pronunciation of "Sea-at-tul" every time he says the city's name ''except'' for this line.[[/note]]

* In "Green Lantern: First Flight", Kevin mentions that the poor whiplash compensation and ride-car design meant the ride was occasionally [[GroinAttack murder on the groin,]] which only got even more common when a hasty redesign weighed the cars down further. This is accompanied with online comments from riders and crotch jokes of varying subtlety, as all the while Kevin insists that "the only ball-busting going on here was that of the ride."

** When Kevin finally finds someone (Andrea Taylor) who knows who wrote the jingle, he interviews her about her previous work at Disney Channel (which was pretty much ''everything'' related to marketing). One of these works was a series of bumpers that was all about fish trivia, [[SubliminalAdvertising microdosing their young viewership with a fish obssession]] in preparation for the release of ''WesternAnimation/FindingNemo'' a year and a half later.

** The episode as a whole provides some sterling BlackComedy in the form of Robert Moses's mishandling of the fair's organization. Between obvious prejudice (refusing to extend the subway line to keep minorities out of the fair), corrupt self-interest (charging exorbitant rent for pavilion space) and ''breathtakingly'' unprofessional conduct ([[BullyingADragon insulting the BIE in the press]], resulting in a mass boycott from various countries), the man simply does not catch a break, through nobody's fault but his own.

** The team that designed the ''Garfield's Nightmare'' re-theme wanted to go big, but they had to scale back not only due to a limited budget, but also because they were told by park officials that [[DoWellButNotPerfect "We can't make it too great]] because [[DemandOverload too many people would want to ride it]]." This is funny not just because of the statement itself, but also due to this being a ''surprisingly realistic'' attitude compared to the other ill-fated attractions and re-themes Kevin's covered, which wound up blowing up in the owners' faces due to overambition and/or limited ride capacity. By contrast, in spite of the ride's debatable quality and eventual lack of proper upkeep, ''Garfield's Nightmare'' comfortably ran for sixteen operating seasons, which is more than most of those rides ''wish'' they could've had.

** The team that designed the ''Garfield's Nightmare'' re-theme wanted to go big, but they had to scale back not only due to a limited budget, but also because they were told by park officials that "We can't make it too great because [[DemandOverload too many people would want to ride it]]." This is funny not just because of the statement itself, but also due to the stark contrast of this ''surprisingly realistic'' attitude compared to those of executives and officials that approved a number of other rides and re-themes Kevin's covered which wound up blowing up in the owners' faces due to over-ambition and/or limited ride capacity. By comparison, in spite of the ride's debatable quality and eventual lack of proper upkeep, ''Garfield's Nightmare'' comfortably ran for sixteen operating seasons, which is what more than most of what those rides ''wish'' they could've had.

-->'''Kevin:''' It’s revealed that Sebastian has the feather, because he is a liar.

---> '''Michael Eisner:''' Our channel, Disney’s Our Channel.

-->'''Kevin:''' ''I WILL FIND A PLATFORM TO TALK ABOUT THAT COURT CASE SO HELP ME GO-[SmashCut to credits]''

*** Walt's obsession with trains was so great, he decided to build a train track in his own backyard, [[KickTheDog right in the same area his wife wanted to put a garden]].
---->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reao_AA3Bb0&lc=UgzvSIZguK6qLrEquZ94AaABAg venustoise134]]:''' Walt: "[[Recap/ParksAndRecreationS04E11 I'm the furthest]] [[MemeticMutation thing from depressed!]] [[TemptingFate Would a depressed person make this??]]"\\
\\
'''[[InstantlyProvenWrong Points to a large train track in his backyard]]'''

** Kevin noted that upon the ride's closure, Creator/{{Viacom}} not only had all Garfield props destroyed out of fear of them being sold, but ordered the employees of the park to film themselves doing so just to make sure it was done. [[TakeThat Commenters joked that this sort of thing is on-brand for]] [[EvilIsPetty Viacom]].

*** Kevin points out that the wait times with [=FastPass+=] were so long for popular rides that a guest had enough time to go on a different ride '''39''' times.

*** Even funnier is the contrast between Moses' frantic attempts to keep his beloved fair intact and the relatively smooth sailing Walt Disney had with providing attractions for the fair. As commenter [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTRKG_ovjsA&lc=UgyOi5NJ6aShe82zoW54AaABAg Sporetrix]] put it:
---->'''Walt Disney:''' Haha look at this animatronic parrot! It can talk!\\
'''Robert Moses:''' [[OhCrap SHIIIII-]]

-->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8ZVpv0Y2vI&lc=UgyUgkUgLZl8MdzUt1F4AaABAg Captain Loose Seal]]:''' [[ARareSentence Ayyyyyyy. We got him to do the ball crush ride.]]

*** The comments include this gem from the last people you'd expect:
---->'''WebVideo/GameGrumps:''' Just played '''Garfield's Nightmare''' for DS thanks to this video.... Unfortunately it did not inspire in us the same level of lust as the ride did for many others.
*** In their ''Garfield's Nightmare'' video, Game Grumps directly shout out Defunctland and admit they're only playing the game to coast off the algorithm. Arin also summarizes the, er, activity that riders would get up to as "finger[ing] your boyfriend or whatever".

*** Michael Eisner's involvement in the Handwich becomes even funnier when [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT37IyTJQy4&lc=UgxzKCdnAiTP0nuPev14AaABAg&ab_channel=Defunctland this]] commenter provided some brilliant LampshadeHanging:
---->'''Niffoni:''' "The first sandwich you can hold in one hand" is such a great line, because it tells you, in one short sentence, that Michael Eisner had a fully-staffed test kitchen, a massive marketing team, and a theme park full of employees, and not a ''single'' one of them was willing to break it to him that [[MundaneSolution actually, you can just cut a sandwich in half]].

** As noted by a commenter [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT37IyTJQy4&lc=UgzAAwRCygwky_i20lx4AaABAg&ab_channel=Defunctland here]], there's a hilariously pervasive and easy-to-miss gag in that Kevin seems to be going out of his way throughout the entire video to use ''two'' hands to bite into a sandwich specifically designed to be eaten with ''one'' hand.

** Throughout the whole thing Kevin is only shot from the shoulders down, remaining TheFaceless. [[WebVideo/GuruLarryAndWez Guru Larry]], of all people, cracks in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT37IyTJQy4&lc=UgzN45CVnZCZn__pFmt4AaABAg this comment]] that Kevin doesn't want to be sued by Brad Pitt again.

* Among the games in the ''Franchise/CarmenSandiego'' series is one called ''Where in North Dakota is Carmen Sandiego''. One commenter had this to say:
-->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVVkSlXl41Q&lc=UgxMY-SB8boSGyise5p4AaABAg Squid]]:''' Dude you cant just say "Where in North Dakota is Carmen Sandiego?" and keep moving on like that.

--->"Moses flew back to New York, having lost the fight, and worse, to the people of Seat-le."

---->'''Kevin:''' Walt explained, "You can't have human beings working three or four hour shifts" - [[PetTheDog an uncharacteristically thoughtful sentiment]], ''before'' he added, "[[PragmaticVillainy We can't afford to pay 'em, or they'll make mistakes, or somebody won't show up]]", [[CorruptCorporateExecutive which was much more characteristic of Walt.]]
* [[invoked]] Pretty much the ''entire'' comments section for "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ Walt Disney's City of the Future, E.P.C.O.T.]]" could count here:
** First off, there's one person delivering a completely {{Laconic}} summarization of Walt's unrealistic idea, and [[UnfortunateImplications the various inherent problems that it had]].
--->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ&lc=UgzE7enJWb364cMqdIB4AaABAg Maya Hope]]:''' [[OnlyInFlorida Florida Man Attempts to Create Autonomous Dictatorship in Swamp]]
** Another great comment comes courtesy of Red from ''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions'':
--->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ&lc=UgyIv_OuekL19Oip6kF4AaABAg Red]]:''' Tragic that some people just miss their true calling of starting a cult.
** Cody from ''WebAnimation/AlternateHistoryHub'' also gives this gem:
--->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ&lc=Ugzxlz-ctPZrjBlw7PF4AaABAg&ab_channel=Defunctland Cody]]:''' Since Epcot is just Disney's version of [[VideoGame/BioShock1 Rapture]], I'd like to see it ''after'' the society collapsed and there's just 10 foot tall Mickey animatronics roaming the overgrown swampy grounds.
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ&lc=UgyW4Q3lhUYJtPVZP0x4AaABAg Another commenter]] muses that "Walt Disney's plans for Epcot sound like the motivation and goals of a ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' villain."
** A great number of commenters got the feeling that Disney would have probably loved ''VideoGame/TheSims'' and ''VideoGame/SimCity''.
** And in a different vein, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYEXjMlKKQ&lc=Ugwd5hrtuDR0-2o2lX54AaABAg one commenter]] [[FridgeHorror realized]] that Walt Disney picked the location for EPCOT on ''[[FreakierThanFiction the same day as the Kennedy assassination]]''.

** The cold opening consists of promotional footage for Disney's California Adventure that ends with Michael Eisner saying that he thinks "this is the beginning of a beautiful theme park." Kevin then [[BluntNo bluntly says that it wasn't.]]

*** And then he comes across another one that starts talking about "one of the [[CrossesTheLineTwice ''positive'' effects of 9/11]]", and Kevin quickly pauses the video to try a different ad compilation... to for the next video to start with ''another'' Express Yourself ad talking about it.

** Only Kevin can make a link between a NAFTA debate, Monday night football, and ''Film/HighSchoolMusical2'' as intricate yet hilarious as this:

---> '''Kevin''': [[GreenEyedMonster The technique is known as "jealousy".]]

** The introduction sequence for the episode is a hokey [=1980s-style=] sitcom intro whose lyrics consist of [[TakeThat a scathing commentary on Michael Eisner's business decisions]], particularly his answer to Euro Disneyland sucking up so many resources being to dump even ''more'' resources into a side venture meant to compete with Chuck E. Cheese and Discovery Zone.

--> "They would find a partner in [[BaitAndSwitch a familiar entertainment company that starts with a D]]: that's right, Creator/{{DreamWorks|SKG}}."

--->'''Kevin''': The ride was also a favorite among teenagers looking for a dark secluded place to... [[UnusualEuphemism revisit the classic tales of Joel Chandler Harris.]]

--->'''Kevin''': [On] May 11th 1906, after stripping it of its valuable parts, Ferris' creation was destroyed [[BlatantLies in the most graceful, respectful, and safe way that a wheel of its size could be]]. [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill It was blown to bits]] [[StuffBlowingUp by 300 pounds of dynamite]].

---->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reao_AA3Bb0&lc=UgzvSIZguK6qLrEquZ94AaABAg venustoise134]]''': Walt: "[[Recap/ParksAndRecreationS04E11 I'm the furthest]] [[MemeticMutation thing from depressed!]] [[TemptingFate Would a depressed person make this??]]"\\

---->'''Kevin:''' [[ARareSentence Look I can’t think of another way to say this, a lot of you were gay in the Garfield dark ride.]]