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The Tinypic links no longer work, so I deleted the
Deleted line(s) 155 (click to see context) :
*** Here's [[http://oi61.tinypic.com/2wno5ch.jpg Phil]]. Here's [[http://oi61.tinypic.com/2n6b56p.jpg Gary]].
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* Brad's reaction to what Phil Phillips is currently up to. Brad proclaims that he now really ''does'' look like the type who loiters in toy stores not intending to buy anything. To experience the full horror, here's [[http://oi58.tinypic.com/2ziv3n5.jpg present-day]] [[http://oi60.tinypic.com/11m5eo2.jpg Phil Phillips]]. Compare to earlier 1980's "ComicBook/RichieRich" [[http://oi61.tinypic.com/2wno5ch.jpg Phil Philips]].
to:
* Brad's reaction to what Phil Phillips is currently up to. Brad proclaims that he now really ''does'' look like the type who loiters in toy stores not intending to buy anything. To experience the full horror, here's [[http://oi58.tinypic.com/2ziv3n5.jpg present-day]] [[http://oi60.tinypic.com/11m5eo2.jpg Phil Phillips]]. Compare to earlier 1980's "ComicBook/RichieRich" [[http://oi61.tinypic.com/2wno5ch.jpg Phil Philips]].
anything.
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[[AC:Colby Meets Psalty]]
* "So far we've been introduced to Colby the Christian Robot and Psalty the Singing Songbook. So the natural conclusion is that these two powerhouses of nightmare Christian kids' TV mascots come together and bang hard."
* "These two go together like peanut butter and KY jelly. Like Oreos and milquetoast."
* "I wonder how they decided on which show the crossover would happen on? Maybe it was a contest to see who could better deepthroat the cucumber from ''[=VeggieTales=]''."
*
-->(''zoom in on a kid in a lion suit'')
-->'''Brad''': Oh, did I forget that Colby also runs the island of Dr. Moreau? Now he's playing God for the Lord.
-->(''cut to kids making jazz hands'')
-->'''Brad''': If that doesn't warrant some jazz hands, then that makes sense because nothing of this really warrants jazz hands.
*
-->'''Kid reading a letter''': I've been a Christian all my life, but I want to know what to do when my brother and I argue and I get in a bad mood."
-->'''Brad!Colby''': My computer says you should punch him in the balls, children. And if you want more brilliant advice like that, write to us and perhaps you can be one of the letters that we don't set on fire.
*
-->'''Colby''': If you have a question about God or the Bible, we would really like to hear from you.
-->'''Brad''': No. You'll be getting questions about Hamburger Helper and that's it. Is ''every'' box of Hamburger Helper instantly made better by the addition of Fritos? You tell me, Colby the Christian Robot!
* "As giant of a computer that Colby is, you'd think he could print out at least one lesson on choreography." (''cut to kids dancing awkwardly'') "And thus the insult 'square' was returned to our vocabulary. Even the '50s think you're a drag! This is the world's first sock hop that ended with severe pneumonia just from the dance moves."
*
-->'''Colby''': Someone is calling me on my internal modem line!
-->'''Brad''': He's talking about his dick. Or at least I wish.
-->'''Psalty''': (''over phone'') Oh hi, Colby. It's me, Psalty. I'm afraid I have a great big problem.
-->'''Brad''': Classic Psalty prank call. You should probably hang up before he starts [[ADateWithRosiePalms flipping his own pages really loud and fast.]]
*
-->'''Psalty''': I hope you can help, Colby. I'm so frustrated! I'm a songbook!
-->'''Brad''': No, you're a middle-aged man in a creepy book costume and blue-face. Think of all the Smurfs that you're offending!
* "Unlike the other two specials that I watched, in this one, it really does feel like the kids are having ''none'' of this."
*
-->'''Psalty''': (''holding a giant cell phone'') Hello, Psalty the Singing Songbook speaking.
-->(''phone squeals'')
-->'''Psalty''': Ugh, see, this is what I told you. My phone thinks it's a fax machine!
-->'''Brad''': You know what's great about these specials? The timelessness.
*
-->'''Colby''': Let's finish checking your connections, because if things aren't properly hooked up, then they won't work right.
-->'''Girl''': I think we should pray.
-->'''Brad''': Or you could just turn it off and turn it back on again.
* "You know what won't help any of this? Dancing." (''after the song'') "Good job, kids. You killed disco ''again''."
*
-->'''Brad''': Not only should you check your connection because you might be mentally imbalanced, but you should also... plug into things?"
-->(''kids do gestures that look like Nazi salutes'')
-->'''Brad''': ...and swear allegiance to the Führer of the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler? Go back to the jazz hands. I don't want to know what's on that computer.
-->'''Colby''': Oh my, I think I found something!
-->'''Brad!Colby''': Nazi porn! Let's watch, children!
*
-->'''Psalty''': Did you know that God loves us so much that He even knows how many hairs you have on the top of your head?
-->'''Kid''': Wow.
-->'''Brad''': Wow. Impressive. (''removes cap, revealing bald head'') No one could ''ever'' guess that.
* "So far we've been introduced to Colby the Christian Robot and Psalty the Singing Songbook. So the natural conclusion is that these two powerhouses of nightmare Christian kids' TV mascots come together and bang hard."
* "These two go together like peanut butter and KY jelly. Like Oreos and milquetoast."
* "I wonder how they decided on which show the crossover would happen on? Maybe it was a contest to see who could better deepthroat the cucumber from ''[=VeggieTales=]''."
*
-->(''zoom in on a kid in a lion suit'')
-->'''Brad''': Oh, did I forget that Colby also runs the island of Dr. Moreau? Now he's playing God for the Lord.
-->(''cut to kids making jazz hands'')
-->'''Brad''': If that doesn't warrant some jazz hands, then that makes sense because nothing of this really warrants jazz hands.
*
-->'''Kid reading a letter''': I've been a Christian all my life, but I want to know what to do when my brother and I argue and I get in a bad mood."
-->'''Brad!Colby''': My computer says you should punch him in the balls, children. And if you want more brilliant advice like that, write to us and perhaps you can be one of the letters that we don't set on fire.
*
-->'''Colby''': If you have a question about God or the Bible, we would really like to hear from you.
-->'''Brad''': No. You'll be getting questions about Hamburger Helper and that's it. Is ''every'' box of Hamburger Helper instantly made better by the addition of Fritos? You tell me, Colby the Christian Robot!
* "As giant of a computer that Colby is, you'd think he could print out at least one lesson on choreography." (''cut to kids dancing awkwardly'') "And thus the insult 'square' was returned to our vocabulary. Even the '50s think you're a drag! This is the world's first sock hop that ended with severe pneumonia just from the dance moves."
*
-->'''Colby''': Someone is calling me on my internal modem line!
-->'''Brad''': He's talking about his dick. Or at least I wish.
-->'''Psalty''': (''over phone'') Oh hi, Colby. It's me, Psalty. I'm afraid I have a great big problem.
-->'''Brad''': Classic Psalty prank call. You should probably hang up before he starts [[ADateWithRosiePalms flipping his own pages really loud and fast.]]
*
-->'''Psalty''': I hope you can help, Colby. I'm so frustrated! I'm a songbook!
-->'''Brad''': No, you're a middle-aged man in a creepy book costume and blue-face. Think of all the Smurfs that you're offending!
* "Unlike the other two specials that I watched, in this one, it really does feel like the kids are having ''none'' of this."
*
-->'''Psalty''': (''holding a giant cell phone'') Hello, Psalty the Singing Songbook speaking.
-->(''phone squeals'')
-->'''Psalty''': Ugh, see, this is what I told you. My phone thinks it's a fax machine!
-->'''Brad''': You know what's great about these specials? The timelessness.
*
-->'''Colby''': Let's finish checking your connections, because if things aren't properly hooked up, then they won't work right.
-->'''Girl''': I think we should pray.
-->'''Brad''': Or you could just turn it off and turn it back on again.
* "You know what won't help any of this? Dancing." (''after the song'') "Good job, kids. You killed disco ''again''."
*
-->'''Brad''': Not only should you check your connection because you might be mentally imbalanced, but you should also... plug into things?"
-->(''kids do gestures that look like Nazi salutes'')
-->'''Brad''': ...and swear allegiance to the Führer of the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler? Go back to the jazz hands. I don't want to know what's on that computer.
-->'''Colby''': Oh my, I think I found something!
-->'''Brad!Colby''': Nazi porn! Let's watch, children!
*
-->'''Psalty''': Did you know that God loves us so much that He even knows how many hairs you have on the top of your head?
-->'''Kid''': Wow.
-->'''Brad''': Wow. Impressive. (''removes cap, revealing bald head'') No one could ''ever'' guess that.
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* "Hmm, just saying the name Poochinski screams...or barks [[ForegoneConclusion cancellation]]."
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* About a minute in, Brad mentions that his DVD starts with "the tail-end of whatever was being aired beforehand". In the rerecorded video in 2019, he follows this by cutting to himself and saying "It's ''Series/DadsArmy''!," giving the impression that he got a ''lot'' of comments about this the first time.
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-->'''Brad:''' ''[In a sinister tone]'' I ''love'' your '''''[[Film/{{Maniac}} scalp]]!'''''
to:
-->'''Brad:''' ''[In a sinister tone]'' I ''love'' your '''''[[Film/{{Maniac}} '''''[[Film/Maniac1980 scalp]]!'''''
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[[AC:''Colby the Christian Robot'']]
* "Well, one thing is for sure: If I had a talking Christian computer, it would make doing research for the religious episodes of ''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob'' a lot easier."
* "It's that crossover of ''Film/ShortCircuit'' and ''WesternAnimation/VeggieTales'' that... someone wanted."
*
-->'''Colby''': You mean kids sometimes tell you who you should be friends with? Why would they care about something like that?
-->'''Brad''': Oof, if this is causing Colby confusion, thank God Twitter wasn't around back then. Colby would spend five minutes on there and then go jump into a tub of water.
* "Right now Wood Rocket is trying to figure out a way to incorporate this costume into a porno. At least then, the dialogue would be better."
* "I'm getting some serious ''Hi-Tops'' flashbacks from this. Which one of them is gonna OD on drugs?"
*
-->'''Kid''': I don't care if Creator/BillCosby's coming to town! There should be a law saying you've gotta live like the rest of us!
-->'''Brad''': Oh, I think you should definitely care if Bill Cosby's coming to town!
[[AC:''Psalty the Singing Songbook'']]
* "Psalty, which I guess is either a nickname of Psalms, or he's just really mad about something online... he has a whole family of talking books, which means he can reproduce."
* "Oh man, there really is just a fine line between children's Christian mascot and Wood Rocket porno spoof!"
* "Did anyone else see those mouths too, or am I on as many drugs as the creators are?"
* (''after seeing kids dressed as candles'') "Their experiment is complete. They turned the kid into a fiery dick. Oh no, and it's contagious too! Worst STD I've ever seen."
*
-->'''Psalty''': Who's had a problem that God has helped them with?
-->'''Brad''': Well, one day I was like, "Am I running out of material for my channel?" And then, God certainly helped me with that.
* "Well, one thing is for sure: If I had a talking Christian computer, it would make doing research for the religious episodes of ''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob'' a lot easier."
* "It's that crossover of ''Film/ShortCircuit'' and ''WesternAnimation/VeggieTales'' that... someone wanted."
*
-->'''Colby''': You mean kids sometimes tell you who you should be friends with? Why would they care about something like that?
-->'''Brad''': Oof, if this is causing Colby confusion, thank God Twitter wasn't around back then. Colby would spend five minutes on there and then go jump into a tub of water.
* "Right now Wood Rocket is trying to figure out a way to incorporate this costume into a porno. At least then, the dialogue would be better."
* "I'm getting some serious ''Hi-Tops'' flashbacks from this. Which one of them is gonna OD on drugs?"
*
-->'''Kid''': I don't care if Creator/BillCosby's coming to town! There should be a law saying you've gotta live like the rest of us!
-->'''Brad''': Oh, I think you should definitely care if Bill Cosby's coming to town!
[[AC:''Psalty the Singing Songbook'']]
* "Psalty, which I guess is either a nickname of Psalms, or he's just really mad about something online... he has a whole family of talking books, which means he can reproduce."
* "Oh man, there really is just a fine line between children's Christian mascot and Wood Rocket porno spoof!"
* "Did anyone else see those mouths too, or am I on as many drugs as the creators are?"
* (''after seeing kids dressed as candles'') "Their experiment is complete. They turned the kid into a fiery dick. Oh no, and it's contagious too! Worst STD I've ever seen."
*
-->'''Psalty''': Who's had a problem that God has helped them with?
-->'''Brad''': Well, one day I was like, "Am I running out of material for my channel?" And then, God certainly helped me with that.
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* When a kid suggests that God thinks their performance is "lame-o": "If God says words like 'lame-o', I'm becoming an atheist. Because apparently God is Corey Feldman."
to:
* When a kid suggests that God thinks their performance is "lame-o": "If God says words like 'lame-o', I'm becoming an atheist. Because apparently God is Corey Feldman.Creator/CoreyFeldman."
Changed line(s) 196 (click to see context) from:
** Brad also mentions Creator/CoryHaim "falling in love with Corey Haim in ''Me, Myself and I''".
to:
** Brad also mentions Creator/CoryHaim Creator/CoreyHaim "falling in love with Corey Haim in ''Me, Myself and I''".
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typo
Changed line(s) 303 (click to see context) from:
* Eric Holmberg plays "[[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]]" backwards, claiming that it says "Start to smoke marijuana." Brad's response: "I ''could'' say bullshit, but that's probably more accurate than anything that was in ''Film/BoehmianRhapsody''."
to:
* Eric Holmberg plays "[[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]]" backwards, claiming that it says "Start to smoke marijuana." Brad's response: "I ''could'' say bullshit, but that's probably more accurate than anything that was in ''Film/BoehmianRhapsody''.''Film/BohemianRhapsody''."
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Changed line(s) 281 (click to see context) from:
* "Eric even has his own copy of the Satanic Bible. Which, according to commenters, was written by me, apparently."
to:
* "Eric even has his own copy of the Satanic Bible. Which, according to commenters, was written by me, apparently."" (''shows a picture of Anton [=LaVey=]'')
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* TheStinger is just Brad playing part of "[[Music/LedZeppelin Stairway to Heaven]]" backwards.
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 5: The Axe Falls'']]
* "It begins by showing us clips of the 1986 horror movie ''Film/TrickOrTreat''. Obviously because the makers of ''Hell's Bells'' are huge Cinema Snob fans." (''displays title card for the Snob episode on that exact movie'')
* When the documentary talks about "neutral" acts and how even they are [[TheNewRockAndRoll still somehow evil]]:
-->'''Eric''': Take, for example, one of the reigning queens of pop music, Music/WhitneyHouston. Though probably one of the nicest individuals within the contemporary music scene...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...we're still gonna call her an evil instrument of Satan anyway.
* On one of Eric's contrived analogies:
-->'''Eric''': By way of an analogy, take strychnine, one of the most powerful poisons in the world.
-->'''Brad''': Woo, never mind the egg test. This is what's setting up to be the most unfortunate episode of ''WebVideo/BradTries''.
-->'''Eric''': Left in a room with small children, it's unlikely that they would pay much attention to it.
-->'''Brad''': This documentary has a deadly poison in a room with children. But here's why you shouldn't listen to Whitney Houston because she's naughty.
* Later, after Eric pours the poison on some candy and shows footage of children eating candy:
-->'''Eric''': ...virtually every one of [the children] will eat the poison without hesitation.
-->'''Brad''': If you like Music/VanHalen, then that means you want to murder a room full of kids. Because listening to rock music is just like going all [[Film/HalloweenIIISeasonOfTheWitch Silver Shamrock]] on a test room full of children.
* Later on, Eric shows a patient on a deathbed:
-->'''Eric''': He's in critical condition, suffering from a sinful, wicked heart that has separated him from God.
-->'''Brad''': I don't think that's what the doctor wrote on that patient's charts.
* This:
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with singing about love.
-->'''Brad!Eric''': (''over footage of "Jacob's Ladder" by Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews'') But only if the music and lyrics have been properly wed in a ceremony under the watchful eye of the Lord.
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with even singing about death and despair, as long as it is done within the framework of truth and God's redemptive purposes.
-->'''Brad''': In other words, you have shitty taste in music, and your music collection consists of nothing but Lee Greenwood.
* Eric invokes TotallyRadical when talking about Satan:
-->'''Eric''': He's the horn-headed dude in the red pajamas.
-->'''Brad''': Don't say "dude". You're not cool. [[SelfDeprecation And I say that as a 37-year-old man with a backwards hat.]]
* He sets up a BrickJoke about how commenters think that Brad is actually Anton [=LaVey=]:
-->'''Anton''': Therefore, each man, each woman, is a god or goddess in Satanism.
-->'''Brad''': Yes, but I was mainly talking about the struggles of sitting through ''Film/{{Nukie}}''.
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 5: The Axe Falls'']]
* "It begins by showing us clips of the 1986 horror movie ''Film/TrickOrTreat''. Obviously because the makers of ''Hell's Bells'' are huge Cinema Snob fans." (''displays title card for the Snob episode on that exact movie'')
* When the documentary talks about "neutral" acts and how even they are [[TheNewRockAndRoll still somehow evil]]:
-->'''Eric''': Take, for example, one of the reigning queens of pop music, Music/WhitneyHouston. Though probably one of the nicest individuals within the contemporary music scene...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...we're still gonna call her an evil instrument of Satan anyway.
* On one of Eric's contrived analogies:
-->'''Eric''': By way of an analogy, take strychnine, one of the most powerful poisons in the world.
-->'''Brad''': Woo, never mind the egg test. This is what's setting up to be the most unfortunate episode of ''WebVideo/BradTries''.
-->'''Eric''': Left in a room with small children, it's unlikely that they would pay much attention to it.
-->'''Brad''': This documentary has a deadly poison in a room with children. But here's why you shouldn't listen to Whitney Houston because she's naughty.
* Later, after Eric pours the poison on some candy and shows footage of children eating candy:
-->'''Eric''': ...virtually every one of [the children] will eat the poison without hesitation.
-->'''Brad''': If you like Music/VanHalen, then that means you want to murder a room full of kids. Because listening to rock music is just like going all [[Film/HalloweenIIISeasonOfTheWitch Silver Shamrock]] on a test room full of children.
* Later on, Eric shows a patient on a deathbed:
-->'''Eric''': He's in critical condition, suffering from a sinful, wicked heart that has separated him from God.
-->'''Brad''': I don't think that's what the doctor wrote on that patient's charts.
* This:
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with singing about love.
-->'''Brad!Eric''': (''over footage of "Jacob's Ladder" by Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews'') But only if the music and lyrics have been properly wed in a ceremony under the watchful eye of the Lord.
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with even singing about death and despair, as long as it is done within the framework of truth and God's redemptive purposes.
-->'''Brad''': In other words, you have shitty taste in music, and your music collection consists of nothing but Lee Greenwood.
* Eric invokes TotallyRadical when talking about Satan:
-->'''Eric''': He's the horn-headed dude in the red pajamas.
-->'''Brad''': Don't say "dude". You're not cool. [[SelfDeprecation And I say that as a 37-year-old man with a backwards hat.]]
* He sets up a BrickJoke about how commenters think that Brad is actually Anton [=LaVey=]:
-->'''Anton''': Therefore, each man, each woman, is a god or goddess in Satanism.
-->'''Brad''': Yes, but I was mainly talking about the struggles of sitting through ''Film/{{Nukie}}''.
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Changed line(s) 293,294 (click to see context) from:
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden My Heart', not the Bangles. (''beat'') It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob."
to:
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden "Harden My Heart', Heart", not the Bangles. Music/TheBangles. (''beat'') It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob.WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob."
Changed line(s) 299 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eric''': The '80s have seen the emergence of a macabre brand of rock that combines elements of punk, new wave, and even classical music.
to:
-->'''Eric''': The '80s TheEighties have seen the emergence of a macabre brand of rock that combines elements of punk, new wave, and even classical music.
Changed line(s) 304,305 (click to see context) from:
* (''on backmasking'') "Sounds more like someone attempting to speak Klingon."
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you come?]]"
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you come?]]"
to:
* (''on backmasking'') "Sounds more like someone attempting to speak Klingon."
[[Franchise/StarTrek Klingon]]".
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will youcome?]]"come?]]"
----
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you
----
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Changed line(s) 293,294 (click to see context) from:
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden My Heart', not the Bangles. It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob."
to:
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden My Heart', not the Bangles. (''beat'') It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob."
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* Eric Holmberg plays "[[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]]" backwards, claiming that it says "Start to smoke marijuana." Brad's response: "I ''could'' say bullshit, but that's probably more accurate than anything that was in ''Film/BoehmianRhapsody''."
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* After Eric gives a description of backmasking, Brad cuts to a clip of WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob shrugging and saying "Sure."
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Changed line(s) 253 (click to see context) from:
* (about the opening narration) "Well, this ''sounds'' like it could be a cup of bullshit. But he's saying it in a British accent, so he may be onto something."
to:
* (about the opening narration) "Well, this ''sounds'' like it could be a cup of bullshit. But he's saying it in a British accent, so he may be onto something.""
[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 1: The Dangers of Rock n' Roll''']]
* When pointing out that the special's host is still active:
-->'''Brad''': ...and [Eric Holmberg] is still going strong and just as crazy today, where his blog includes the question "how low will our culture go?" about a cartoon series, on the same page that features a defense of Roy Moore and a positive review of ''Hillary's America''. Apparently ''WesternAnimation/BigMouth'' would have been better if it had hologram Klansmen and slave rape.
* "The first part of the film is on the dangers of rock and roll, and begins with a warning about containing explicit material of a sexual and occultic nature. Well, yeah. Have you seen this channel? If it didn't have any of those things, I probably would've just shut this thing off."
* "I think this movie may have gone to the ''Hi-Tops'' school of 'You're not cool, Dad.'"
* After a "comedy" sketch:
-->'''Brad''': Ugh. I feel like I'm watching ''[[Series/RowanAndMartinsLaughIn Laugh-In]]''. [[{{Dissimile}} Without the "laugh" part.]]
* This part:
-->'''Brad''': But okay. In three hours, what is this documentary supposed to show me?
-->'''Narrator''': ...to the heart of rock and roll. You'll discover what it can do to an egg.
-->'''Brad''': Uh... what... I... (''exhales'') [[FlatWhat What.]]
* "We find out exactly what the Bible says about rock and roll: 'Thou shalt go up to the spirit in the sky. It's where you're gonna go when you die.'"
* On the teachings of Aristotle:
-->'''Brad''': The warnings about music trace all the way back to Plato and even Aristotle. Both known for being [[Music/VanHalen team Hagar]].
-->'''Eric''': Plato's contemporary, Aristotle, noting that "music has the power to form character"...
-->'''Brad''': Clearly they are talking about the power... (''holds up a Boots Randolph record'') ...that "Yakety Sax" has on making ''anything'' hilarious.
*
-->'''Eric''': And it's worth noting that both the scriptures and church tradition suggest that music comes quite naturally to Satan. That very possibly, before his fall, he was in charge of music in Heaven.
-->'''Brad''': Duh. Everyone knows Satan was kicked out of heaven because he wouldn't stop playing "[[Music/{{PSY}} Gangnam Style]]" at the Heaven rave.
[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 2: The Root of Rock''']]
* On how certain songs are said to quote the Satanic Bible:
-->'''Eric''': As a means of systematically and objectively examining rock music for signs of the Devil's influence...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...I had sex with a ram, sacrificed a goat, and ate a plate of sheep balls.
* "Eric even has his own copy of the Satanic Bible. Which, according to commenters, was written by me, apparently."
* "I really hope this whole thing ends with Eric saying, 'You know, maybe this music just isn't made for me. I should probably just listen to the Newsboys instead.'"
* "Much like crucifixion, this documentary has some deep cuts."
* His confused reaction to Eric calling Music/{{Madonna}} an ex-porn star.
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 3: The Fruit of Rock'']]
* "Part 3 of the ''Hell's Bells'' anti-rock and roll documentary promises to tell us about the fruit of rock. I, uh... I dunno what that means, really. If it means we get to listen to a lot of Music/{{Bananarama}} or the soundtrack to ''Film/TheApple'', then I am all for this. Though the beginning wants to get one thing perfectly clear..." (''Creator/{{MTV}} bumper that has an animated Adam and Eve in it'') "...MTV bumpers used to be awesome! And then God punished Adam and Eve by taking the music videos away."
* His obsession with the fact that Eric Holmberg looks different in the third part.
* (''After a JumpCut'') "I didn't put any cuts in here. Suddenly he just teleported to a set at Creator/{{Troma}} studios."
* "[[Music/TheDoors Jim Morrison's]] on enough drugs that he probably thinks he's being interviewed by a six-foot-tall armadillo."
* "Who knew until this documentary that there's a lot of punk rock songs that sing about some dark stuff? I thought that if I went to a punk show, they'd all be singing 'God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody.'"
* "Drugs are apparently hated by God because they're a form of sorcery. Oh, people were getting messed up on all kinds of hallucinogens in Literature/TheBible. They could take something like nutmeg and cinnamon and turn it into a weeklong party. But what's really bad is when music and lyrics are written with the help of drug and alcohol binges. I got no room to talk. That's how I wrote most of my earlier movies."
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden My Heart', not the Bangles. It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob."
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 4: The Fruit of Rock, Continued'']]
* "According to the Bible, rebellion is witchcraft. And witchcraft is buying novelty items at a Spencer Gifts."
* "I think Revelation was written with the same drugs that wrote a lot of the psychedelic rock you hate."
* This:
-->'''Eric''': The '80s have seen the emergence of a macabre brand of rock that combines elements of punk, new wave, and even classical music.
-->'''Brad''': Yeah, and it was ''awesome''!
* His amusement that Eric seems to believe that Music/IronMaiden's mascot Eddie is a real person.
* (''on backmasking'') "Sounds more like someone attempting to speak Klingon."
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you come?]]"
[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 1: The Dangers of Rock n' Roll''']]
* When pointing out that the special's host is still active:
-->'''Brad''': ...and [Eric Holmberg] is still going strong and just as crazy today, where his blog includes the question "how low will our culture go?" about a cartoon series, on the same page that features a defense of Roy Moore and a positive review of ''Hillary's America''. Apparently ''WesternAnimation/BigMouth'' would have been better if it had hologram Klansmen and slave rape.
* "The first part of the film is on the dangers of rock and roll, and begins with a warning about containing explicit material of a sexual and occultic nature. Well, yeah. Have you seen this channel? If it didn't have any of those things, I probably would've just shut this thing off."
* "I think this movie may have gone to the ''Hi-Tops'' school of 'You're not cool, Dad.'"
* After a "comedy" sketch:
-->'''Brad''': Ugh. I feel like I'm watching ''[[Series/RowanAndMartinsLaughIn Laugh-In]]''. [[{{Dissimile}} Without the "laugh" part.]]
* This part:
-->'''Brad''': But okay. In three hours, what is this documentary supposed to show me?
-->'''Narrator''': ...to the heart of rock and roll. You'll discover what it can do to an egg.
-->'''Brad''': Uh... what... I... (''exhales'') [[FlatWhat What.]]
* "We find out exactly what the Bible says about rock and roll: 'Thou shalt go up to the spirit in the sky. It's where you're gonna go when you die.'"
* On the teachings of Aristotle:
-->'''Brad''': The warnings about music trace all the way back to Plato and even Aristotle. Both known for being [[Music/VanHalen team Hagar]].
-->'''Eric''': Plato's contemporary, Aristotle, noting that "music has the power to form character"...
-->'''Brad''': Clearly they are talking about the power... (''holds up a Boots Randolph record'') ...that "Yakety Sax" has on making ''anything'' hilarious.
*
-->'''Eric''': And it's worth noting that both the scriptures and church tradition suggest that music comes quite naturally to Satan. That very possibly, before his fall, he was in charge of music in Heaven.
-->'''Brad''': Duh. Everyone knows Satan was kicked out of heaven because he wouldn't stop playing "[[Music/{{PSY}} Gangnam Style]]" at the Heaven rave.
[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 2: The Root of Rock''']]
* On how certain songs are said to quote the Satanic Bible:
-->'''Eric''': As a means of systematically and objectively examining rock music for signs of the Devil's influence...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...I had sex with a ram, sacrificed a goat, and ate a plate of sheep balls.
* "Eric even has his own copy of the Satanic Bible. Which, according to commenters, was written by me, apparently."
* "I really hope this whole thing ends with Eric saying, 'You know, maybe this music just isn't made for me. I should probably just listen to the Newsboys instead.'"
* "Much like crucifixion, this documentary has some deep cuts."
* His confused reaction to Eric calling Music/{{Madonna}} an ex-porn star.
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 3: The Fruit of Rock'']]
* "Part 3 of the ''Hell's Bells'' anti-rock and roll documentary promises to tell us about the fruit of rock. I, uh... I dunno what that means, really. If it means we get to listen to a lot of Music/{{Bananarama}} or the soundtrack to ''Film/TheApple'', then I am all for this. Though the beginning wants to get one thing perfectly clear..." (''Creator/{{MTV}} bumper that has an animated Adam and Eve in it'') "...MTV bumpers used to be awesome! And then God punished Adam and Eve by taking the music videos away."
* His obsession with the fact that Eric Holmberg looks different in the third part.
* (''After a JumpCut'') "I didn't put any cuts in here. Suddenly he just teleported to a set at Creator/{{Troma}} studios."
* "[[Music/TheDoors Jim Morrison's]] on enough drugs that he probably thinks he's being interviewed by a six-foot-tall armadillo."
* "Who knew until this documentary that there's a lot of punk rock songs that sing about some dark stuff? I thought that if I went to a punk show, they'd all be singing 'God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody.'"
* "Drugs are apparently hated by God because they're a form of sorcery. Oh, people were getting messed up on all kinds of hallucinogens in Literature/TheBible. They could take something like nutmeg and cinnamon and turn it into a weeklong party. But what's really bad is when music and lyrics are written with the help of drug and alcohol binges. I got no room to talk. That's how I wrote most of my earlier movies."
* "Um, Quarterflash sang 'Harden My Heart', not the Bangles. It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like the Cinema Snob."
[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 4: The Fruit of Rock, Continued'']]
* "According to the Bible, rebellion is witchcraft. And witchcraft is buying novelty items at a Spencer Gifts."
* "I think Revelation was written with the same drugs that wrote a lot of the psychedelic rock you hate."
* This:
-->'''Eric''': The '80s have seen the emergence of a macabre brand of rock that combines elements of punk, new wave, and even classical music.
-->'''Brad''': Yeah, and it was ''awesome''!
* His amusement that Eric seems to believe that Music/IronMaiden's mascot Eddie is a real person.
* (''on backmasking'') "Sounds more like someone attempting to speak Klingon."
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you come?]]"
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* His (possible) LampshadeHanging at being unable to review [[Film/TheDayTheClownCried The Day The Clown Cried.]]
to:
* His (possible) LampshadeHanging at being unable to review [[Film/TheDayTheClownCried The Day The Clown Cried.]]''Film/TheDayTheClownCried''.
Changed line(s) 79 (click to see context) from:
*** Especially ironic considering [[JerkAss what we now know about the guy]].
to:
*** Especially ironic considering [[JerkAss [[{{Jerkass}} what we now know about the guy]].
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* Brad points out that [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot a sketch ends just at the point he wanted to see]] - ''Mr. T, in short shorts and gold chains, sucking another man's toes in an elementary school classroom.''
to:
* Brad points out that [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot a sketch ends just at the point he wanted to see]] - ''Mr. T, ''Creator/MrT, in short shorts and gold chains, sucking another man's toes in an elementary school classroom.''
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-->'''Brad''': (Russian accent) Whatever he skis, he destroys!
to:
-->'''Brad''': (Russian accent) [[Film/RockyIV Whatever he skis, he destroys!
destroys!]]
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to:
Changed line(s) 195,196 (click to see context) from:
** Brad also mentions Cory Haim "falling in love with Corey Haim in ''Me, Myself and I''".
-->"The only way to keep Corey Feldman out of it was for Haim to mention only himself not once but three times in the title."
-->"The only way to keep Corey Feldman out of it was for Haim to mention only himself not once but three times in the title."
to:
** Brad also mentions Cory Haim Creator/CoryHaim "falling in love with Corey Haim in ''Me, Myself and I''".
-->"The only way to keepCorey Feldman Creator/CoreyFeldman out of it was for Haim to mention only himself not once but three times in the title."
-->"The only way to keep
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* His entire reaction to the "rabid dog" scene, where he comes to the conclusion that Gary Coleman just wants to mess with random kids.
to:
* His entire reaction to the "rabid dog" scene, where he comes to the conclusion that Gary Coleman Creator/GaryColeman just wants to mess with random kids.
Changed line(s) 228 (click to see context) from:
* "I'm curious: When these people watch stuff like ''The Exorcist'' or ''Brotherhood of Satan'', do they think of them as documentaries?"
to:
* "I'm curious: When these people watch stuff like ''The Exorcist'' ''Film/TheExorcist'' or ''Brotherhood of Satan'', do they think of them as documentaries?"
Changed line(s) 245 (click to see context) from:
* The story of how [[spoiler:it's a sequel to/reboot/episode of WebVideo/DemoReel]] and how Brad [[spoiler:including the return of Karl Kopenhagen]] from Jerry Lewis' house is just hysterical.
to:
* The story of how [[spoiler:it's a sequel to/reboot/episode of WebVideo/DemoReel]] and how Brad [[spoiler:including the return of Karl Kopenhagen]] from Jerry Lewis' Creator/JerryLewis' house is just hysterical.
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Changed line(s) 249 (click to see context) from:
* "Jimmy goes off to the library, which is one of those places that existed before the Internet. Nowadays, Jimmy can learn about sex ed from watching three 80-year-old men have a lemon party."
to:
* "Jimmy goes off to the library, which is one of those places that existed before the Internet. Nowadays, Jimmy can learn about sex ed from watching three 80-year-old men have a lemon party."
[[AC:''Doorways to Danger'']]
* (about the opening narration) "Well, this ''sounds'' like it could be a cup of bullshit. But he's saying it in a British accent, so he may be onto something."
[[AC:''Doorways to Danger'']]
* (about the opening narration) "Well, this ''sounds'' like it could be a cup of bullshit. But he's saying it in a British accent, so he may be onto something."
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Changed line(s) 151 (click to see context) from:
** ...and Gary Greenwald [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "Ron Burgundy"]] & [[Series/WelcomeBackKotter "Mr. Kotter".]] He's later compared to "a snitch from MiamiVice".
to:
** ...and Gary Greenwald [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "Ron Burgundy"]] & [[Series/WelcomeBackKotter "Mr. Kotter".]] He's later compared to "a snitch from MiamiVice".''Series/MiamiVice''".
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Changed line(s) 212 (click to see context) from:
to:
* "If television were easy, Geico could have done it."
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* "There are some people who might want to...hurt bears." Cue obligatory clip of Creator/ChristopherWalken [[Film/TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
to:
* "There are some people who might "Some strangers, the bad ones, want to...to hurt bears.kids ...and ''bears''." Cue obligatory clip of Creator/ChristopherWalken [[Film/TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
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Changed line(s) 46 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eva:''' *to Ms. Goldenstein* ''"Do you think just about [[NevilleChamberlain the most important person in Europe]] would like my meatloaf?"'' *realizes she 'spilled the beans' about Chamberlain's visit* ''"Me and my big mouth! Adolf will kill me!"''
to:
-->'''Eva:''' *to Ms. Goldenstein* ''"Do you think just about [[NevilleChamberlain [[UsefulNotes/NevilleChamberlain the most important person in Europe]] would like my meatloaf?"'' *realizes she 'spilled the beans' about Chamberlain's visit* ''"Me and my big mouth! Adolf will kill me!"''
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* "There are some people who might want to...hurt bears." Cue obligatory clip of Creator/ChristopherWalken [[TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
to:
* "There are some people who might want to...hurt bears." Cue obligatory clip of Creator/ChristopherWalken [[TheCountryBears [[Film/TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* "There are some people who might want to...hurt bears." Cue obligatory clip of ChristopherWalken [[TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
to:
* "There are some people who might want to...hurt bears." Cue obligatory clip of ChristopherWalken Creator/ChristopherWalken [[TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' ...He sounds like the offspring of [[TheHoneymooners Ralph Kramden]] & a wienerschnitzel.
to:
-->'''Brad:''' ...He sounds like the offspring of [[TheHoneymooners [[Series/TheHoneymooners Ralph Kramden]] & a wienerschnitzel.
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Deleted line(s) 27,28 (click to see context) :
** Followed by...
--->'''Brad:''' Thanks, guy in a bear suit whose name is another word for "feces"!
--->'''Brad:''' Thanks, guy in a bear suit whose name is another word for "feces"!
Changed line(s) 36,37 (click to see context) from:
* Brad concludes the review by advising the parents of the children involved to move to a safer neighborhood. "As for me, I'm going to lock all my doors because I'm agoraphobic now."
to:
* Brad concludes the review by advising the parents of the children involved to move to a safer neighborhood. "As for me, I'm going to lock all my doors because I'm agoraphobic now."
[[SarcasmMode Thanks, guy in a bear suit whose name is another word for 'feces'!]]"
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Changed line(s) 103 (click to see context) from:
* His introduction to the video, wherein he [[DefiedTrope defies]] XMeetsY. Also:
to:
* His introduction to the video, wherein he [[DefiedTrope defies]] XMeetsY.JustForFun/XMeetsY. Also:
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Changed line(s) 67 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Brad:''' Again, very true. My love for Music/TearsForFears ''did'' stem from my mother's love of [[Series/DaysOfOurLives Patch and Kayla.]] Okay, I loved Patch and Kayla too. ''Days of Our Lives'' was awesome in the Eighties! That's when it had Nick the Pimp!
to:
-->'''Brad:''' Again, very true. My love for Music/TearsForFears ''did'' stem from my mother's love of [[Series/DaysOfOurLives Patch and Kayla.]] Kayla. Okay, I loved Patch and Kayla too. ''Days of Our Lives'' ''Series/DaysOfOurLives'' was awesome in the Eighties! That's when it had Nick the Pimp!
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to:
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Changed line(s) 153 (click to see context) from:
** ...and Gary Greenwald [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "Ron Burgundy"]] & [[WelcomeBackKotter "Mr. Kotter".]] He's later compared to "a snitch from MiamiVice".
to:
** ...and Gary Greenwald [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "Ron Burgundy"]] & [[WelcomeBackKotter [[Series/WelcomeBackKotter "Mr. Kotter".]] He's later compared to "a snitch from MiamiVice".
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Changed line(s) 239,240 (click to see context) from:
-->"So while you're at it, go out, dress up, go Trick-Or-Treating and get some free candy...but don't come to my house because I'll have the porch light shut out...which is the ancient tradition of "I Don't Have Any Candy To Give Out On Halloween"....which is then followed by the ancient ''kids'' tradition of "Throwing Eggs At My House"........*grumbles under breath* ''dammit''....
to:
-->"So while you're at it, go out, dress up, go Trick-Or-Treating and get some free candy...but don't come to my house because I'll have the porch light shut out...which is the ancient tradition of "I Don't Have Any Candy To Give Out On Halloween"....which is then followed by the ancient ''kids'' tradition of "Throwing Eggs At My House"........*grumbles under breath* ''dammit''....
''goddammit''....
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Brad concludes the review by advising the parents of the children involved to move to a safer neighborhood. "As for me, I'm going to lock all my doors because I'm agoraphobic now."
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** "Smoking and drinking makes you trip balls. How else do you explain Mr. T appearing to silently judge you?"
to:
** From the segment on peer pressure: "Smoking and drinking makes you trip balls. How else do you explain Mr. T appearing out of nowhere to silently judge you?"
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Added DiffLines:
* '''Brad:''' "I'm starting to think Gary is full of shit."
Added DiffLines:
*** The fact that Gary & Phil think the Smurfs are gay zombies.
Added DiffLines:
-->'''Brad:''' "Nice save, jackass!"
