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--> '''Angel''': By the way, I like your--\\
'''Buffy''': Yeah, yeah, it's a big hit with everybody.

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--> '''Angel''': By the way, I really like your--\\
'''Buffy''': Yeah, yeah, it's a big hit with everybody.everyone.
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* While they're on their way to the Master's lair, Xander accuses Angel of checking out his neck, they bicker back and forth like a married couple, and Xander says, "I told you to eat before we left."
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* Xander is trying to rehearse asking Buffy out, but it isn't going so well.
-->'''Xander:''' "You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um...a mate, and then we can...[[{{Metaphorgotten}} observe their mating rituals and tag them before they migrate]]." Just kill me!
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* Cordelia's nightmares are getting horrifically frizzy hair and being forcibly conscripted into the chess club.

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* Cordelia's nightmares are getting horrifically frizzy hair and being forcibly conscripted into the chess club. Willow's smile as she watches this....
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* With Buffy acting chipper about going to school, Joyce snarks, "Good day to buy that lottery ticket."
* Giles explains about astral bodies, and Buffy asks, "Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?"
* Willow enjoying the memory of nearly-naked Xander before catching the look on his face.
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* The Scoobies interview various witnesses, trying to figure out who killed Emily, and a pained-looking Xander talks to Cordelia, who claims that "Emma" was her best friend.
-->'''Cordelia:''' All I can think is, "It could have been me."\\
'''Xander:''' We can dream.
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* When Jenny points out the blank book and Giles sees the cover with Moloch's face on it, he [[SureLetsGoWithThat agrees with her guess that it's a diary]] and absently ends their argument, his mind already in research mode.
-->'''Giles:''' Well, it's been so nice talking to you.\\
'''Jenny:''' We were fighting.\\
'''Giles:''' Must do it again sometime. Bye now.
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* Giles and Jenny are going back and forth on analog vs. digital, when Fritz chimes in rather...intensely.
-->'''Fritz:''' The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.\\
'''Jenny:''' Thank you, Fritz...for making us all sound like crazy people.
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* When Buffy asks the difference between the pre-fumigation party and the post-fumigation party, Xander answers, "Much hardier cockroaches."
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* Xander says guys will do anything to impress a girl.
-->'''Xander:''' I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath.\\
'''Willow:''' It was pretty impressive, although later, there was an ick factor.
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* "I suppose some girls might find [Angel] good-looking...''[sees Willow's look and breaks]''...if they have eyes. ''All right'', he's a honey.

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* "I suppose some girls might find [Angel] good-looking...''[sees Willow's look and breaks]''...if they have eyes. ''All right'', he's a honey."
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'''Buffy:''' {{beat}} Yeah, I-I often do. I'm actually known for it.\\

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'''Buffy:''' {{beat}} ''[{{beat}}]'' Yeah, I-I often do. I'm actually known for it.\\
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'''Giles''': It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen year old boy. You'll have to kill him, of course...

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'''Giles''': It's Ah, it's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen year old boy. You'll Of course, you'll have to kill him, of course...
him.
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* "I suppose some girls might find [Angel] good-looking...''[sees Willow's look and breaks]''...if they have eyes. ''All right'', he's a honey.
* Xander sniffs Buffy's hair.
-->'''Buffy:''' ...Okay, now what?\\
'''Xander:''' You took a bath.\\
'''Buffy:''' {{beat}} Yeah, I-I often do. I'm actually known for it.\\
'''Xander:''' That's okay.\\
'''Buffy:''' ...And the Weird Behavior Award goes to...

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* Regarding Creator/EmilyDickinson:
-->'''Giles:''' Yes, um, she's quite a good poet. I mean, for a--\\
'''Buffy:''' A girl?\\
'''Giles:''' For an American.
* Cordelia hip-checks Buffy to be first to sit with Owen, spilling Buffy's whole lunch on the floor. But Buffy gets her back with a good one when she says, "Boy, Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought."



'''Giles''': Well, you know what they say -- ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is waiting.\\

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'''Giles''': Well, you know what they say -- ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting.\\




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* Giles tells Buffy that revealing her secret identity could put her and others in danger. She answers, "Well, in that case, I ''won't'' wear my button that says, 'I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!'"
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-->'''The Master''': "And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes, the Anointed shall rise. The brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. ''[referring to the vampire slain in teaser]'' "And one of the brethren shall get himself killed because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait. ''[grabs minion by the throat]'' That's not written anywhere.

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-->'''The Master''': "And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes, the Anointed shall rise. The brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. ''[referring to the vampire slain in teaser]'' "And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait. ''[grabs minion by the throat]'' That's not written anywhere.
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* Before going into his office to make a phone call:
-->'''Giles:''' Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office. One assumes it is entirely legal.\\
'''[=Willow/Buffy=]''': [[BlatantLies Entirely./Of course.]]\\
'''Giles:''' Right...wasn't here...didn't see it...couldn't have stopped you.
* Giles talks to a friend who went insane after his encounter with a she-mantis, saying, "You--you were right all along about everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but...Uh, try to rest, old man. Yes. Ta. Bye now."
* When Giles warns Buffy that the she-mantis is extremely dangerous:
-->'''Buffy:''' Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around.\\
'''Giles:''' Yes, in a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night.

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* The scoobies find the real Natalie French, a kindly 90-year-old woman, and realise Praying Mantis Lady has simply stolen her identity.

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* The scoobies failed attempt by Willow to pantomime the answers when the teacher calls on Buffy.
* After Buffy reports Angel's warning to Giles:
-->'''Giles:''' That's all he said? "Fork Guy"?\\
'''Buffy:''' That's all Cryptic Guy said, "Fork Guy".\\
'''Giles:''' I think there are too many "guys" in your life.
* A bit of BlackComedy: Buffy is crying after Dr. Gregory's body is discovered, sitting like she has no energy. Giles offers her a glass of water, and without looking up, she says, "No, thank you," then takes a sip.
* The Scoobies
find the real Natalie French, a kindly 90-year-old woman, and realise realize Praying Mantis Lady has simply stolen her identity.

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** Buffy yeeting a cheerleader with her Slayer strength.
** "You're not like other boys at all. You are totally and completely one of the girls." And Willow's smile at this.

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* Buffy has several funny moments in the early stages of having Catherine's bloodstone vengeance spell cast on her, such as perkily singing "Macho Man" in front of a bewildered Joyce.

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* Xander happily informs Buffy has several funny moments in and "Amy" that they made the early stages team, not realizing that an alternate is someone who ''didn't'' make the team. Willow explains, and the girls walk away dejected.
-->'''Xander:''' For I am Xander, King
of having Catherine's bloodstone vengeance spell cast on her, such as perkily singing "Macho Man" Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
* Joyce shows Buffy her yearbook photo.
-->'''Buffy:''' Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.\\
'''Joyce:''' This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything
in front history?
* Xander trying to work himself up to asking Buffy out.
-->'''Xander:''' I'm going to take your advice and not beat around the bush.\\
'''Willow:''' Or I could be wrong. Maybe you should beat around the bush more.\\
'''Xander:''' No. I gotta be a man and ask her out. I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, subtle innuendos, taking Polaroids outside
of her bedroom window late at night. That last part is a bewildered Joyce.joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Okay, into battle I go. ''Would you ask her out for me?'' No. Man. Me battle.




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* Buffy has several funny moments in the early stages of having Catherine's bloodstone vengeance spell cast on her, such as perkily singing "Macho Man" in front of a bewildered Joyce.

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* When "Amy" says that she spends six hours a day practicing with her mom, Buffy says, "That much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some quality matricide."
* Giles: "[T]hat's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth. There's a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to engage. ''[off the teens' looks]'' Well, pardon me for finding the glass half-full."



--> '''Xander''': I laugh in the face of danger. [[LovableCoward Then I hide until it goes away]].

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--> '''Xander''': Oh, ha! I laugh in the face of danger. danger! [[LovableCoward Then I hide until it goes away]].away]].
* After Joyce closes up the crate with a fertility statue in it, [[CovertPervert Buffy takes a peek]].



'''Willow''': Maybe, because they ''met'' her? ... Did ''I'' say that?

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'''Willow''': Maybe, Maybe because they ''met'' her? ... Did ''I'' say that?
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* Xander gets DistractedByTheSexy.
-->'''Xander:''' People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this. ''[sees a girl doing a full split in her cheerleading uniform]'' Ooh, stretchy. ''[Buffy rolls her eyes and walks off]'' Where was I?\\
'''Willow:''' You were pretending that seeing scantily-clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.\\
'''Xander:''' Who said I was pretending?

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[[AC:"[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS1E3TheWitch The Witch]]" (1x03)]]

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[[AC:"[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS1E3TheWitch The Witch]]" (1x03)]]


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* Buffy tells Willow and Xander about Giles' reaction. "I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old."
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* Things are bad enough after Jesse's been turned into a vampire.
-->'''Buffy:''' So, Giles...got anything that can make this day any worse?\\
'''Giles:''' How about the end of the world?\\
'''Buffy:''' I knew I could count on you.

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* Buffy evaluating potential outfits: "'Hi, I'm an enormous slut!'...'Would you like a copy of ''The Watchtower''?'

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* Buffy evaluating potential outfits: "'Hi, I'm an enormous slut!'...'Would you like a copy of ''The Watchtower''?'Watchtower''?'"


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* "You've got something in your eye."
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* Xander's trying to come to grips with what he's seen.
-->'''Xander:''' This is just too much. I mean, yesterday, my life is like, "Uh-oh, pop quiz." Today, it's "rain of toads".\\
'''Willow:''' I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day.\\
'''Xander:''' Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret.\\
'''Willow:''' We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something the other guys don't.

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--> '''Willow''': ''[sitting in a chair]'' I think I might need to sit down.\\

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--> '''Willow''': ''[sitting in a chair]'' I think I might Oh, I-I need to sit down.\\


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* Buffy feels she failed because Jesse was taken by the vampires, and Willow (crossing over with a CMOH) says, "If you hadn't shown up, they would have taken us too. Does anybody mind if I pass out?"
* Giles asks if Buffy has any idea where they took Jesse.
-->'''Buffy:''' I looked around, but as soon as they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just...voom!\\
'''Xander:''' They can fly?\\
'''Buffy:''' They can drive.


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* Willow's hacking skills debut. Check Giles' amused smile when Willow finishes speaking.
-->'''Giles:''' So, all the city plans are just open to the public?\\
'''Willow:''' Um, well, in-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.\\
'''Xander:''' Someone's been naughty.

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* Giles tries to teach Buffy to hone her Slayer senses to find a vampire, and she casually picks one out by his antique outfit, leading Giles to peevishly say, "But you didn't...hone."
* Thomas' look at Darla for biting Jesse.

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* Buffy evaluating potential outfits: "'Hi, I'm an enormous slut!'...'Would you like a copy of ''The Watchtower''?'
* Her response to her mom asking if there will be boys at the club: "No, Mom, it's a nun club."
* Buffy and Willow's conversation at the Bronze.
-->'''Willow:''' I don't date a whole lot...lately.\\
'''Buffy:''' Why not?\\
'''Willow:''' Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.\\
'''Buffy:''' It's not that bad.\\
'''Willow:''' No, it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.\\
'''Buffy:''' You really ''haven't'' been dating lately.

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* Xander's entrance, which [[EstablishingCharacterMoment cements his]] ButtMonkey status. He's skateboarding to school, dodging students up until [[DistractedByTheSexy he sees Buffy... and gets clothes-lined by the railing]].

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* Xander's entrance, which [[EstablishingCharacterMoment cements his]] ButtMonkey status. He's skateboarding to school, dodging students up until [[DistractedByTheSexy he sees Buffy... and gets clothes-lined clotheslined by the railing]].railing]].
* Xander's FreudianSlip: "Can I have you?"
* Buffy introduces herself to Willow to ask a favor.
-->'''Buffy:''' It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while.\\
'''Willow:''' But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?\\
'''Buffy:''' I can't do both?\\
'''Willow:''' Not legally.



-->'''Giles''': Everything you dreaded was under your bed but told yourself couldn't be -- they're all real.\\
'''Buffy''': What? You sent away for the Time-Life Series?\\
'''Giles''': [[FailedAttemptAtDrama Um, yes]].\\

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-->'''Giles''': Everything you dreaded was under your bed but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day -- they're all real.\\
'''Buffy''': What? You You, like, sent away for the Time-Life Series?\\
'''Giles''': [[FailedAttemptAtDrama Um, Oh, w-well, yes]].\\



'''Giles''': The calendar.

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'''Giles''': The Um, the calendar.

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