History Funny / BuffyTheVampireSlayer

26th Jan '16 10:59:36 AM kalel32688
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* Spike ribbing Giles after saving him from a vamp in the teaser. -->'''Spike''': Did your whole life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea? * Giles and Anya playing tug-o-war with a statue from Giles' private collection, leading to this response from Xander: -->'''Xander''': Okay, when ''I'm'' marveling at the immaturity, be scared. ** Giles' "you should listen to him" look after Xander tells Anya to be nice to Giles unless she wants to work at Video Hut. * This:

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* The rest of the gang catch up to Giles at the airport before he leaves for England. Giles explains he didn't want to make a scene, and Willow says "As if we'd make a scene" as she whips out an elaborately-decorated placard. * Xander freaking out over the orb of light that Tara sends to help him and Willow make their way back to the Magic Box. * Xander exchanging barbs with Razor:

'''Xander''': I don't see you winning any beauty pageants. Not unless the ''Miss my face fell off'' contest gets going. -->'''Razor''': Pretty big axe you got there\\
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'''Xander''': I don't see you winning any beauty pageants. Not unless the ''Miss my face fell off'' "Miss My-Face-Fell-Off'' contest gets going. going. ** Also part of the exchange: -->'''Razor''': Pretty big axe you got there\\there.\\

-->'''Razor''': Of course We want trouble. We're demons. We're really all about the trouble. -->'''Spike''': [To Giles] Did your whole life flash before your eyes? ''Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea''?
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\n-->'''Razor''': Of course We want trouble. We're demons. We're really all about the trouble.\n\n-->'''Spike''': [To Giles] Did your whole life flash before your eyes? ''Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea''?\n** Xander taking a moment to ask Willow and Tara if males witches are called "warlocks," which they confirm.
25th Jan '16 7:25:47 AM kalel32688
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* Buffy [[GroinAttack kicks Puffy Xander in the groin]].
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* Buffy [[GroinAttack kicks Puffy Xander in the groin]].groin]] while training.

* Spike tries to hook up with April at the Spring Break party. He ends up [[DestinationDefenestration getting his ass thrown out a window.]]
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* Spike tries to hook up with April at the Spring Break party. He ends up [[DestinationDefenestration getting his ass thrown out a window.]]window]] for his trouble.

* The DescriptionCut from Tara saying Giles and Dawn probably had a blast to Giles complaining about babysitting Dawn.
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* The DescriptionCut from Tara saying Giles and Dawn probably had a blast to Giles complaining to Buffy about babysitting Dawn.

'''Buffy''': (running upstairs with her hands over her ears): No more! No more! No more!\\
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'''Buffy''': (running (''running upstairs with her hands over her ears): ears'') No more! No more! No more!\\

'''Buffy''': (faintly, off screen) I can't hear you!
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'''Buffy''': (faintly, off screen) (''faintly, off-screen'') I can't hear you!

'''Giles:''' I, uh, jump out of the circle, and then I jump back in it, and then I, um... shake my [magic] guord.\\
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'''Giles:''' I, uh, jump out of the circle, and then I jump back in it, and then I, um... shake my [magic] guord.gourd.\\

'''Giles:''' ''(as [[GentlemanSnarker dryly British]] as he has ever been)'' Go quest.
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'''Giles:''' ''(as (''as [[GentlemanSnarker dryly British]] as he has ever been)'' been'') Go quest.

-->'''Buffy''': And that's what it's all about.
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-->'''Buffy''': --->'''Buffy''': And that's what it's all about. about. * The script gets one for Xander's and Anya's reactions to Spike and the bot. -->''As she bumps into him, then she sees what he sees. Xander looks like he just took a bite of Hell. Anya, however, is intrigued and a little turned on.'' * "Oh, Spike. You're the [[DoubleEntendre Big Bad]]. You're the Big Bad." * After finding the Buffybot...with Spike, Xander and Anya have to warn Willow and Tara, not knowing it's the bot yet. Tara doesn't want to judge Buffy, knowing what she went through, then... -->'''Anya:''' Buffy's boinking Spike.\\ '''Willow:''' (''struggling to understand'') Oh. Well, Tara's right, grief can be powerful and we shouldn't judge--\\ '''Tara:''' What, are you kidding? She's nuts!

-->'''Xander:''' Buffy, we care about you, and we're worried about you. The way you're acting, the things you're doing-\\
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-->'''Xander:''' Buffy, we care about you, and we're worried about you. The way you're acting, the things you're doing-\\doing--\\

'''Willow:''' No, there's only love. And... some fear.\\
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'''Willow:''' No, there's only love. And... some fear.\\

'''Buffy:''' (jawdrop) The who whatting how with ''huh?''\\
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'''Buffy:''' (jawdrop) (''jaw-drop'') The who whatting how with ''huh?''\\''huh''?\\

'''Buffy:''' (heatedly) I am not having sex with Spike!\\
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'''Buffy:''' (heatedly) (''heatedly'') I am not having sex with Spike!\\

'''Xander:''' (soothingly) No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled.\\ '''Buffy:''' (firmly) I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that ''you'' might be!
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'''Xander:''' (soothingly) (''soothingly'') No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and [[StupidSexyFlanders sort of compact but well-muscled.well-muscled]].\\ '''Buffy:''' (firmly) (''firmly'') I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that ''you'' might be!

-->'''Xander:''' Spike must have had her built so he could program her to-\\ '''Buffy:''' (horrified) Oh God!\\ '''Willow:''' Yikes! Imagine the things-\\
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-->'''Xander:''' Spike must have had her built so he could program her to-\\ to--\\ '''Buffy:''' (horrified) Oh (''horrified'') Oh, God!\\ '''Willow:''' Yikes! Imagine the things-\\things--\\

'''Xander:''' (raises his hand sheepishly) Already got the visual. ** We actually get to see the visual, which is about what we'd expect of [[SexIsCool Faith.]] * After finding the Buffybot...with Spike, Xander and Anya have to warn Willow and Tara, not knowing it's the bot yet. Tara doesn't want to judge Buffy, knowing what she went through, then... -->'''Anya:''' Buffy's boinking Spike.\\ '''Willow:''' (struggling to understand) Oh. Well, Tara's right, grief can be powerful and we shouldn't judge -\\ '''Tara:''' What are you, kidding? She's nuts! * The script gets one for Xander's and Anya's reactions to Spike and the bot. -->''As she bumps into him, then she sees what he sees. Xander looks like he just took a bite of Hell. Anya, however, is intrigued and a little turned on.'' * "Oh Spike. You're the [[DoubleEntendre Big Bad]]. You're the Big Bad." * Glory's minion's reaction to Spike "revealing" the key as "That guy on TV. On that show, the price show where they guess what stuff costs." -->''Murk'': The Price is right?
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'''Xander:''' (raises (''raises his hand sheepishly) sheepishly'') Already got the visual. ** We actually get to see the visual, which is about what we'd expect of [[SexIsCool Faith.]] * After finding the Buffybot...with Spike, Xander and Anya have to warn Willow and Tara, not knowing it's the bot yet. Tara doesn't want to judge Buffy, knowing what she went through, then... -->'''Anya:''' Buffy's boinking Spike.\\ '''Willow:''' (struggling to understand) Oh. Well, Tara's right, grief can be powerful and we shouldn't judge -\\ '''Tara:''' What are you, kidding? She's nuts! * The script gets one for Xander's and Anya's reactions to Spike and the bot. -->''As she bumps into him, then she sees what he sees. Xander looks like he just took a bite of Hell. Anya, however, is intrigued and a little turned on.'' * "Oh Spike. You're the [[DoubleEntendre Big Bad]]. You're the Big Bad." Faith]]. * Glory's minion's reaction to Spike "revealing" the key Key as "That guy on TV. On that show, the price show where they guess what stuff costs." -->''Murk'': The Price is right?''GameShow/ThePriceIsRight''?

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* Buffybot pronouncing Giles' name as "Guy-iles." And Buffy accidentally calls Giles that, earning herself a glance from her Watcher. * When Spike declares Buffy is going to kick her "lopsided ass," Glory takes a moment to glance at her backside.

-->'''Anya:''' You can sleep with me! (Pause) That sounded a lot less lesbian in my head.
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-->'''Anya:''' You can sleep with me! (Pause) (''pause'') That sounded a lot less lesbian in my head.

-->Anya: Drop a piano on her. It always works for that [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny creepy cartoon rabbit]] when he's running from that nice hunter with the speech impediment. ** Funny thing is that Xander seems to have this [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes style of attack]] in mind when he makes his contribution to the fight in the next episode.
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-->Anya: -->'''Anya''': Drop a piano on her. It always works for that [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny creepy cartoon rabbit]] when he's running from that nice hunter with the speech impediment. ** Funny thing is that Xander seems to have this [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes style of attack]] in mind when he makes his contribution to the fight in the next episode."The Gift."

-->'''Spike''': Just out for a jaunt. Thought I'd swing by and say howdy.
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-->'''Spike''': Just out for a jaunt. Thought I'd swing by and say howdy."howdy."

* Spike [[DopeSlap dope-slapping Xander]] when he, having not quite figured out that Ben and Glory are one in the same, asks if Ben is subletting from Glory. True, doing so causes his chip to go off, but like the man said, it was worth it.
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** And just when it seems like the gang finally gets it, they don't, and Spike can only sigh in frustration. Clearly, it's tough being the OnlySaneMan. * Spike meets up with Xander and Giles at the hospital and apprises them of his mission to Glory's apartment. As he does, he lights a cigarette and takes a smoke. All the while there's a "No Smoking" sign on the wall behind him. * Spike [[DopeSlap dope-slapping Xander]] when he, having still not quite figured out that Ben and Glory are one in the same, asks if Ben is subletting from Glory. True, doing so causes his chip to go off, but like the man said, it was worth it.

* Glory isn't exactly the brightest god in the heavens; -->''The Slayer's a robot! Did everybody else know that the Slayer was a robot?''
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* Glory isn't exactly the brightest god in the heavens; -->''The Slayer's a robot! Did everybody else know After Buffy tells everyone present that the Slayer was she loves them: -->'''Spike''': When you say you love us all-- -->'''Xander and Giles''': Shut up. * When Buffy goes to lift Olaf's hammer, Spike starts to caution her, only for Buffy to lift it without any problems. * This exchange: -->'''Xander''': I happen to be-- -->'''Spike''': A glorified bricklayer? -->'''Xander''': I'm also a robot?''swell bowler. -->'''Anya''': Has his own shoes. -->'''Spike''': The gods themselves do tremble.

'''Spike:''' Well, not exactly [[HenryV the St. Crispin's Day speech]], was it?\\ '''Giles:''' (Wryly) "We few, we happy few..."\\
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'''Spike:''' Well, not exactly [[HenryV [[Theater/HenryV the St. Crispin's Day speech]], was it?\\ '''Giles:''' (Wryly) (''wryly'') "We few, we happy few..."\\

* Xander takes Anya's advice on how to fight Glory - by hitting her with a wrecking ball. Also a MomentOfAwesome. -->'''Xander''': ''And the glorified bricklayer picks up a spare!''
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* After the gang arrives outside Glory's tower and Giles asks her if she needs anything, Willow replies she could use some courage. Spike immediately hands her his flask, which she declines. * Early in the final battle, it turns out that Glory's been fighting the Buffybot. -->'''Glory''': The Slayer's a robot! Did everybody else know that the Slayer was a robot? ** Cue the real Buffy standing behind Glory, armed with Olaf's hammer. --->'''Buffy''': Glory? (''hits Glory with the hammer'') [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu You're not the brightest god in the heavens.]] * Xander takes Anya's previous advice on how to fight Glory - Glory...by hitting her with a wrecking ball. Also a MomentOfAwesome. -->'''Xander''': ''And And the [[CallBack glorified bricklayer bricklayer]] picks up a spare!''spare! * When Buffy gets to the top of the tower to save Dawn, Doc turns and remarks "[[BringIt This is going to be interesting]]"...only for Buffy to [[CurbStompBattle simply shove him out the way]], sending him [[DisneyVillainDeath falling to his death]].
24th Jan '16 1:46:42 PM Kereea1
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Added DiffLines:
* Spike and Buffy are initially confused about what it means that the bit of a demon who starts a line of vampires resides in each vampire in the line, thinking it means each vampire is in some way the same person (instead of an amalgam of the person they were and the demon). -->'''Buffy''': Angel...and Spike? I literally fell in love with the same guy twice? -->'''Spike''': Wait, Dru too? [[ScrewYourself I shagged myself?]]
24th Jan '16 1:38:35 PM Kereea1
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Added DiffLines:
* Spike is less-inclined towards kitten poker these days, and manages to win the litter to spare them...and then brings home with him. * Xander and Dawn trying to make up excuses for the noises they're hearing from Xander and Spike's apartment being anything other than rough sex. The agreed idea? Buffy and Spike are "making sandwiches". ** Xander knows exactly what his maquettes smashing sounds like. * When they have to call Angel in, Spike is in a bad mood. Kid!Giles tells him to try and rise above it, and conduct himself with "grace and maturity" when making the phone call. Spike seemingly agrees as he dials... -->'''Spike''': Hello, wanker. -->'''Angel''' You'd think I would have blocked your number by now.
22nd Jan '16 10:48:30 PM nombretomado
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* "Good to see you dropped the Twilight act. I hear [[StephenieMeyer the chick]] who writes [[{{Twilight}} the gothic novels]] [[TakeThat is litigous]].
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* "Good to see you dropped the Twilight act. I hear [[StephenieMeyer [[Creator/StephenieMeyer the chick]] who writes [[{{Twilight}} the gothic novels]] [[TakeThat is litigous]].
17th Jan '16 10:48:11 AM kalel32688
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--->'''Spike''': Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye? All warm and safe where nothing can eat you? --->'''Dawn''': Is that supposed to scare me?
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--->'''Spike''': (''menacingly steps closer to Dawn'') Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye? All warm and safe where nothing can eat you? --->'''Dawn''': (''unfazed'') Is that supposed to scare me?

--->'''Spike''': That's right! (''makes a hilariously smug face'') Who's bad now? * This line while Dawn's reading Giles' notes about the Key:
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--->'''Spike''': That's right! (''makes (''stands up and gives Dawn a hilariously smug face'') expression'') Who's bad now? now? (''enters the shop'') * This line while Dawn's Dawn is reading Giles' notes about the Key:

* Spike trying to cozy up to Buffy in the Bronze. He even wears a different outfit.
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* Spike trying to cozy up to Buffy in the Bronze. He even wears ditches his trademark BadassLongcoat for a different outfit.style that doesn't fit him in the slightest.

--->'''Xander''': Listen, Bleach Boy, I don't have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to you than you can ever do to me. --->'''Spike''': Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me.

* Spike and Buffy on a "stakeout." He offers her a sip from his flask, then asking her if she likes Music/TheRamones.
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* Spike and Buffy on a "stakeout." He offers her a sip from his flask, then asking her if she likes Music/TheRamones.Music/TheRamones after singing a lyric or two from "I Wanna Be Sedated."

--> '''Spike''': It's not blood, it's bourbon
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--> '''Spike''': It's not blood, blood; it's bourbonbourbon.

-->'''Joyce''': Honey, did you ... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals? -->'''Buffy''': (''ponders'') Well, I ... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.
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-->'''Joyce''': Honey, did you ... you...somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals? -->'''Buffy''': (''ponders'') Well, I ... I...I do beat him up a lot. For Spike Spike, that's like third base. base.

** Harmony then suspects Spike wants to have a threesome:
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** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Harmony then suspects Spike wants to have a threesome: threesome]]:

--->'''Harmony''': You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. My answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Creator/CharlizeTheron.
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--->'''Harmony''': You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. My answer is the same as always. always: No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Creator/CharlizeTheron.

--->'''Harmony''': Well. You've got some nerve showing up here like this, after all this time, after breaking my sweet boo-boo's heart.
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--->'''Harmony''': Well. You've got some nerve showing up here like this, after all this time, after breaking my sweet boo-boo's Boo-Boo's heart.

-->'''Spike''': I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. I don't even know why I even bother. (''to Drusilla'') It's your fault. You're the one to blame for all this.
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-->'''Spike''': (''exasperated'') I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. I don't even know why I even bother. (''to Drusilla'') It's your fault. You're the one to blame for all this.

-->'''Harmony''': Oh, Spikey. And you can say goodbye to this. (''points to her body'') Because you're not gonna see it anymore. Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you. But even then, I'll probably just, you know, back away. (backs away as she leaves)
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-->'''Harmony''': Oh, Spikey. And you can say goodbye to this. (''points to her body'') Because you're not gonna see it anymore. Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you. But even then, I'll probably just, you know, back away. (backs (''backs away as she leaves)leaves'')

Added DiffLines:
-->'''Harmony''': Oh, Spikey. And * Buffy [[GroinAttack kicks Puffy Xander in the groin]]. -->'''Buffy''': I'm sorry. I guess I got carried away. Are you okay? -->'''Xander''': I'm alive. I can tell 'cause of the pain. * Spike tries to hook up with April at the Spring Break party. He ends up [[DestinationDefenestration getting his ass thrown out a window.]] -->'''Spike''': Bloody hell! You threw me through a window! What's that about? -->'''April''': You cannot say goodbye that to this. (''points me. I have a boyfriend. Warren is my boyfriend. -->'''Spike''': You know what? My bleeding sympathies to her body'') Because you're Warren. (''walks off'') * The DescriptionCut from Tara saying Giles and Dawn probably had a blast to Giles complaining about babysitting Dawn. -->'''Giles''': Dear God, there's only so much I can take. We'll have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be baby-sat, and it's not fair on her. -->'''Buffy''': What'd she make you do? -->'''Giles''': We listened to aggressively cheerful music by people chosen for their ability to dance, we ate cookie dough and talked about boys. ** Followed by this: --->'''Buffy''': We're gonna see work on it anymore. tomorrow. Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you. But even then, I'll probably just, wanna stay and... --->'''Joyce''': (''arriving home'') Who wants to hear everything? --->'''Buffy''': ...listen to my mom talk about boys. --->'''Giles''': Must go. See you know, back away. (backs away as she leaves)tomorrow. Bye, Joyce. (''[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere leaves]]'')
16th Jan '16 3:29:35 PM drpyser
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--> '''Buffy''': What? Duck? There's a duck?
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--> '''Buffy''': (''confused'') What? Duck? There's a duck?
16th Jan '16 3:28:47 PM drpyser
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!!Lessons (7x01) * Buffy and Dawn are discussing after Dawn's training session: -->'''Buffy''': The next vampire you meet, you run away. I just wish that was all we had to worry about. Vampires, demons... They're nothing compared to what's coming. -->'''Dawn''': I know. I just can't believe it's back. -->'''Buffy''': Believe me, I thought I was long past it. I guess you never are. Just a few more days 'til it starts. Then we'll never know what's coming next. --> [''cut to the newly reconstructed Sunnydale Highschool''] * When Buffy meets Spike in the basement: --> '''Spike''': Buffy, duck. --> '''Buffy''': What? Duck? There's a duck? --> [''An undead hits Buffy in the head with a pipe'']
16th Jan '16 2:57:23 PM tsstevens
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(''Willow and Tara share an awkward look'')
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(''Willow and Tara share an awkward look'')look at each other all, [[IResembleThatRemark Well she's got a point.]]'')
16th Jan '16 8:52:53 AM drpyser
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** While Riley tries to reassure Buffy that he doesn't think any less of her despite her situation, and mentioning the fast food smell:
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** * While Riley tries to reassure Buffy that he doesn't think any less of her despite her situation, and mentioning the fast food smell:
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