History Funny / Brutalmoose

* "Ducks, deer, [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog hedgehogs...]]"

-->'''Knuckles''': (Deadpan) I've got nothing better to do.

-->'''Brutalmoose #2''': (Deadpan, using the Knuckles clip) I've got nothing better to do.

-->'''Brutalmoose''': But nothing can prepare you for the abomination that is Sonic Live. Everything about this minigame makes me hate living! The music, the guitars, even these spinning lights right here. I MEAN, FUCK THOSE LIGHTS! [[SpectacularSpinning (shows light bulb spinning 1800 degrees/second)]]

-->Brutalmoose: You better get your shit together, Michelle, or you'll never become a famous insect physiologist like... these guys?? (Timon and Pumbaa)

-->'''DK (Brutalmoose)''': Hello, Michelle! Why don't you come out and PLAAAY?? Mwahahahaaa! You insect physiologists are sooooo foolish! Now I will rape and/or eat you. Come on... don't run away, get over here. Just.. get over here. COME ON, MICHELLE, GOD!!

-->'''Brutalmoose''': Uh oh! There it goes! [[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud Write a good Freebird joke he-]] aw shit.

-->'''Brutalmoose''': That's like if I gave you a word search ''(Word search on screen circles the word "Moose")'' and each time you circled a word I jumbled up all the letters ''(The letters jumble on screen, leaving the circle on a random string)'' and was all, "Ha ha, sorry. 'Fnard' isn't a word, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]]".

--> ''If he clenched any harder he'd bite right through his jaw!''

--> They're walking around like they're either starving to death or they've just got ''too much swag!''\\

--> '''Ian''': (In a Deep Gravelly Voice) It's like if I started to talk like this, but then I put on loud music and had some explosions in the background. But it's all OK because there's Subtitles.

--> You must suffer!

* An [=NPC=] asks for help in finding her kids and then teleports behind the city's fence.

-->"You know, I really like how nothing on this cover is terrifying. Not in the slightest. Not ''this''. Not ''this.'' Or not even ''this.''\\

-->"Was it because the idea of a three story sunglass hut was a bad idea? Well, of course not. That idea is badass. It's because these ''little fuckers'' were looming over my mall driving all my customers away."

-->'''Brutalmoose''': But the ''real'' question is; does money grow on trees or not? Like, make up your mind, Godfrey.

-->'''Brutalmoose''': It's a little known fact, but zebras actually ''love'' tomatos.

-->'''Brutalmoose''': So, I sent them ([[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PBG]] and two of his other friends) a muted clip to do just that. They tried, and...well, [[DamnedByFaintPraise they tried]].

-->'''Brutalmoose''': What do you mean I can't say b*** on a commercial? If I wanna say b***, I'm gonna say b***. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch B***, ***, ***, ***!]]. I mean, have you seen these ***ing muscles, bra?

-->'''Brutalmoose''': I mean, they almost look like people. ''Almost''.

-->'''Zurachi''': Gotta hit Z and C and sometimes spacebar!

-->'''Brutalmoose''': I couldn't do it, I couldn't win. Heinz, Computer got everything; the fame, the first place bronze trophy, the money, the...mustard? (a pic of 'Heinz' mustard shows on the screen)
-->'''Brutalmoose''': I know it was a long shot, but, I don't even feel any stronger after playing this. If anything I feel weaker. Piece of junk. (throws it into space where it hits a satellite)

[[AC: Restaurant Empire II]]

--> '''Ian:''' Have you guys heard of this new book [[{{Literature/Fahrenheit451}} Fahrenheit 451]]?

--> '''General Min:''' '''[[LargeHam NEEEEHHHHHHHH]]!!!'''

* Everything in Kid Pix Studio Deluxe. Ian delivers his lines like an advertisement, accompanied by horrible (and hilarious) drawings of other youtubers. [[ArchNemesis Caddicarus's]] face is described as "wrong" and "disgusting".

-->'''Ian:''' I'll see you guys next time, for now I'm... uh, just gonna put this back down here.

-->'''Ian:''' I don't like this cat, I would not be friends with this cat, I'm not too crazy about this lady either, to be honest, but it's mostly because she's hanging out with that cat.

-->'''Ian:''' Oh no, this is a '''[[VoiceOfTheLegion bad one]]...''' [...] Everything about this one was bad. Everything. Hopefully, this store is closed and the Advantage Savers Club Card was shredded long, long ago.

-->'''Jeremy Pringle:''' I've been pringled.

-->'''Brutalmoose (as Mustache Girl)''': Wow, you're kinda strong! We should hang out more! Or I'll '''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCKING MURDER YOU, YOU STUPID]] [[CurseCutShort BIT-]]'''

* During the VHS tape showcasing ''VideoGame/Starfox64'', Ian points out the anthromorphized Sega's inexplicable [[CanadaEh Canadian accent.]]

* Moose sees "No meat." in the status bar and says, "[[BigEater I swear, these people eat too much]]."

* Like everyone who plays this game, Moose can't stand the main character.

* He gets bored and decides to torture the customers by building a giant maze with just one clothing store at the end.

* Ian cosplaying as Sam in the thumbnail.

-->'''Ian:''' Pants. ''(a pair of pants appear on screen next to Ian)'' Unimportant. ''(an X appears over the pants as a buzzer goes off)'' Feel free to just whip it out at the Grubby Corner Mall. You know, one time I whipped it out at the mall, and ''it was not appreciated''. People were very unsettled, actually.
* "Speaking of misunderstood nuts, one of Sam's friends in this game is a dirty sock."
* The way Ian talks about a sentient sponge that Sam comes across.

''[[AC:VideoGame/{{Roblox}}]]''

** "Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Race Your Baby, the only game show where it's okay if your baby is [[IncrediblyLamePun a little racist]]."

** Upon seeing that the game features a random mini game event where players have to dodge a tidal wave, Moose criticizes it for its pop-up text that reads "Accident!!", as tidal waves aren't really accidents. He then proceeds to show a montage of more appropriate uses for the text: knocking over a cup of coffee, stubbing his toe, and dropping a plate.

* After beating the game, Moose explores the badly textured environment, finding a "sand sponge block", "blue robot [[VideoGame/{{Minecraft}} creeper]] head", and "magical rainbow egg".
-->'''Brutalmoose:''' If you gaze upon it for too long, you will be filled with mischievousness. Some of humanity's most evil people (''pictures of UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler, UsefulNotes/JosephStalin, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and]] [[WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarePants Plankton]] appear'') were inspired by staring upon the magical rainbow egg for too long. But here it stands, ready for anyone with a heart of pure evil to look upon. It is Crisis City's greatest secret, and also its most dangerous.
* The fact that the radio is so badly drawn that Ian mistakes it for the titular Crisis City.
* Moose believing that Caddicarus had taken the game from Newgrounds. There's even an edited screencap of Newgrounds' front page in which Crisis City was put into.
-->'''Brutalmoose:''' Did you take this from Newgrounds? Can I blam it?
* The visual that accompanies Caddy stating that the guy on the radio was about as worried about the impending tsunami and earthquake as a weatherman giving a normal forecast.
* "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." [[OverlyLongGag "I think I left my closet door open."]]

-->'''Brutalmoose:''' Oh. Oh god. What is this? What is this?! Is that the crisis? ''[zooms in on a small pixelated fire]'' That little flame right there? I've seen fake fireplaces more out of control than this.
* Due to all the characters having legs sunken into the ground or sometimes even no legs at all, Moose thinks that the player character slides on his ass when he heads towards the city. It doesn't help that there's no animation, so the character is literally just sliding across the ground.

-->'''Moose:''' Ohhh..man. This looks... This is just--\\
'''Caddy:''' [[SarcasmMode Beautiful? Oh, I know. I really like the orange brick walls and that ceiling texture is almost]] ''[[SarcasmMode too]]'' [[SarcasmMode detailed.]]\\

* Ian, much like most people who play the game, ''hate'' the main character, Pepper Roni.

* During a whack-a-mole mini game where the goal is to get rid of Brickster bots that are hiding inside of a machine. Ian notices that one of the game's [[NonPlayerCharacter NPCs]] is also inside.
-->'''Ian:''' I guess it's a way to dispose of the Brickster bots, maybe...? But it looks like The Infomaniac went ahead and crawled in the machine as well. We already know that he's a complete moron, so I'm not even gonna try and figure out what compelled him to do that.

* Everything about Senor, the Sim he creates.

* Brutalmoose actually has so much fun making scenarios, he changes his mind about the game and decides that it's perfect for the target audience. In fact, it's perfect for everyone. Everyone should buy Boobah: Wiggle and Giggle. Everyone needs it. [[SurpriseCreepy Your existence is meaningless without Boobah.]]

* At one point in the game, Ian has to put in a three-digit code to electrocute someone. He's given a hint that the code is "[[ShoutOut the temperature at which paper burns]]", and complains that he has to go and [[CriticalResearchFailure look up what the temperature is]]. Naturally Ian got hit with quite a bit of backlash from people who, of course, [[SmallReferencePools knew that the answer was]] "[[Creator/RayBradbury 451]]". That isn't the funny part, though. The funny part is when you scroll down and see [[SelfDeprecatingHumor what the top comment is]]: