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    Brutalmoose Originals 
Wacky Funsters
  • Ian losing his shit completely at the sight of a forest dolphin.
    Ian: Don't shoot the skunk. Do shoot the rabbit, bear, owl, deer and...dolphin? Dolphin? Shoot the dolphin? Shoot the dolphin in a forest? F-forest dol- dolphin forest? Forest? Forest - there it is! Fu-fucking forest dolphin. Dolphin forest. Forest dolphin.
    [Beat]
    Ian: DOOOOOLPHIIIIIIIN!

Sonic Shuffle

  • Knuckles' response to Lumina Flowlight's request for help;
    Knuckles: (Deadpan) I've got nothing better to do.
    • Made even funnier when Moose asks for help cleaning up a shattered plate.
    Brutalmoose #2: (Deadpan, using the Knuckles clip) I've got nothing better to do.
  • Upon seeing that the game features a random mini game event where players have to dodge a tidal wave, Moose criticizes it for its pop-up text that reads "Accident!!", as tidal waves aren't really accidents. He then proceeds to show a montage of more appropriate uses for the text: knocking over a cup of coffee, stubbing his toe, and dropping a plate.
  • Accident?
  • His reaction to the Sonic LIVE minigame
    Brutalmoose: But nothing can prepare you for the abomination that is Sonic Live. Everything about this minigame makes me hate living! The music, the guitars, even these spinning lights right here. I MEAN, FUCK THOSE LIGHTS! (shows light bulb spinning 1800 degrees/second)

Escape from Bug Island

  • Michelle brought her friends on a trip to a island infested with demon arthropods for a college report... even though she already has a textbook with information about the native bugs.
    Brutalmoose: You better get your shit together, Michelle, or you'll never become a famous insect physiologist like... these guys?? (Timon and Pumbaa)
  • Donkey Kong... on Bug Island
    DK (Brutalmoose): Hello, Michelle! Why don't you come out and PLAAAY?? Mwahahahaaa! You insect physiologists are sooooo foolish! Now I will rape and/or eat you. Come on... don't run away, get over here. Just.. get over here. COME ON, MICHELLE, GOD!!
  • HEY!

SimTown

Lego Island 2

  • Like everyone who plays this game, Moose can't stand the main character.
  • He labels the game's map as Idiot Island and theorizes that the inhabitants were all exiled from the United States of Lego for being too stupid to live in their country.
  • During a whack-a-mole mini game where the goal is to get rid of Brickster bots that are hiding inside of a machine. Moose notices that one of the game's NPCs is also inside.
    "I guess it's a way to dispose of the Brickster bots, maybe...? But it looks like The Infomaniac went ahead and crawled in the machine as well. We already know that he's a complete moron, so I'm not even gonna try and figure out what compelled him to do that."

Let's Explore the Airport

Bad Rats

  • After the game glitches itself into solving the puzzle Ian breaks out in a Dance while things like "Success", "Congratulations" and "You're Adopted" flash by.

Prison Tycoon 3

  • The terrifying cop on the loading screen which keeps giving Moose jumpscares when he appears.
    If he clenched any harder he'd bite right through his jaw!
  • At the beginning, he accidentally builds the prison without fences, and is surprised when his prisoners escape.
  • Later on, he does figure out how to build fences, and fences in each prisoner without amenities until they escape or die of hunger.
  • Ian's interpretation of the odd starving animations.
    They're walking around like they're either starving to death or they've just got too much swag!
    Their conditions range from "starving" to "straight up gangsta".
  • SMALL AMENITIES!
  • He calls his prison "Hell Prison", but remembers he doesn't have fences, so he changes it to "Satan's Honor System Hell Prison From Hell!!
  • With his second attempt at building a prison, all of the prisoners are obsessed with going to the gym and doing absolutely nothing else. Once he shuts it down to pay for food for the cafeteria, the very next thing that happens is a prisoner escaping in response.
  • "So suck on thaaaaaaaaat Matt Damon!" (Partially played again in slow motion)

Shadow the Hedgehog

  • Shadow mounts a hoverboard, and Brutalmoose comments that it's pretty badass, but it needs something...then puts carnival music behind it.
  • Brutalmoose's comments on how hard it is to hear Doom's Eye, later mimicking his speech as unintelligble growling.
    Ian: (In a Deep Gravelly Voice) It's like if I started to talk like this, but then I put on loud music and had some explosions in the background. But it's all OK because there's Subtitles.
  • Sonic wants you to kill the 'black creatures', which Brutalmoose thinks sounds racist the more he hears it. There is then a clip of Knuckles saying 'Get rid of these annoying aliens' with overlaid text HIDDEN POLITICAL AGENDA?
  • Brutalmoose's amusement at the mild swearing Shadow uses. Everytime he says 'damn' in the review, he cuts Shadow saying it in instead.
  • Shadows has a weapon looking like a toilet seat, because 'the kids will just eat that up, know what I'm sayin'?'
  • By merit of the narmy-ness from the game itself, Shadow's 'Shadow..android?' line.

The Oregon Trail II

  • Moose using a random identity generator to make party members. The first one is Mary, who is 75 years old.
    • Adolf decides to join the party too.
  • Brutalmoose buying thousands of pounds of bacon, and he expresses disbelief when it turns out that's too much for a single milk cow to handle.
  • Taking a break for two weeks after five miles.
    • After the break, everyone still wants to stay.
      • "You know, this riverbank makes for a good resting place."
  • "Ducks, deer, hedgehogs..."
  • Mary drowning in two feet of water.
    • She seems to do something stupid whenever she's even near water.
  • James dies, and Brutalmoose proceeds to blame all of his misfortune on him.
  • "That's not just a small amount of bison, it's a buffa-load!!"
  • Moose sees "No meat." in the status bar and says, "I swear, these people eat too much."
  • Ian ends up shooting himself in the foot. The reactions from the others? "You sure it was an accident? We don't want any murderin' varmints hanging about."
  • Just when things seem to be getting better, Ian dies of a gunshot wound.
  • The return of the riverbank lady at the end.

Captain Bible

  • GODLY THIGHS!
  • "Captain Bible running down hallways, Captain Bible running down hallways, Captain Bible running down-"
  • Ian playing the incredibly saccharine Christian children's song "Jesus Loves Me, For The Bible Tells Me So" over Captain Bible killing the robot enemies in jarringly violent ways.

Living Books

Crisis City

  • Caddicarus's Incoming Ham
    You must suffer!
  • Upon seeing the title screen:
    Brutalmoose: Oh. Oh god. What is this? What is this?! Is that the crisis? [zooms in on a small pixelated fire] That little flame right there? I've seen fake fireplaces more out of control than this.
  • Moose believing that Caddy had taken the game from Newgrounds. There's even an edited screencap of Newgrounds' front page in which Crisis City was put into.
    Brutalmoose: Did you find this on Newgrounds? Can I blam this?
  • The fact that the radio is so badly drawn that Moose mistakes it for the titular Crisis City.
  • The visual that accompanies Caddy stating that the guy on the radio was about as worried about the impending tsunami and earthquake as a weatherman giving a normal forecast.
  • This exchange when Moose gets a look at the inside of a building.
  • "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open."
  • Due to all the characters having legs sunken into the ground or sometimes even no legs at all, Moose thinks that the player character slides on his ass when he heads towards the city. It doesn't help that there's no animation, so the character is literally just sliding across the ground.
  • When Moose gets to the city and encounters his first fire:
    Caddy: Oh, be careful of that fire, Moose!
  • An NPC asks for help in finding her kids and then teleports behind the city's fence.
    Caddy: Ah, she's watching you quite closely. So, you better start finding her kids.
  • The kids in the game have no lower halves, so when they come across a little girl stuck behind a puddle, they both interpret her as being legless.
    Caddy: How are you going to save that girl, Moose? That poor, poor torso of a girl.
  • Upon learning the reason the family were trapped outside during the earthquake (they didn't know the code to their safe spot), Moose asks where the irresponsible father is and Caddy informs him:
    Caddy: Oh, he's in the maze.
    Moose: The what? Did you just say "the maze"?
    Caddy: Yeah, the maze. He was on his way to the safe spot and then he got trapped in the maze. You have to go and find him.
  • Moose then theorizes that God brought about the natural disasters to destroy Crisis City because its citizens are Too Dumb to Live and fully supports the decision saying he would have done the same.
  • After beating the game, Moose explores the badly textured environment, finding a "sand sponge block", "blue robot creeper head", and "magical rainbow egg".
    Brutalmoose: If you gaze upon it for too long, you will be filled with mischievousness. Some of humanity's most evil people (pictures of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Plankton appear) were inspired by staring upon the magical rainbow egg for too long. But here it stands, ready for anyone with a heart of pure evil to look upon. It is Crisis City's greatest secret, and also its most dangerous.

Sociolotron

  • The bulk of the review is portrayed as a story being read by Brutalmoose called "Ian Plays A Sex Game".
  • Brutalmoose's confusion with the way the game describes the various NPCs, with such details as "A fat belly", "Her arms jiggle and wobble with fat" and "Her mouth looked normal." He then tries to seduce one of the NPCs, which results in LOTS of Censor Boxes. Other notable quotes include "with her crotch lifted from the ground so it is visible in an obscene manner. A fat belly" and "her buttocks are extremely fat and of normal strength".
  • After wandering around for hours, he finally comes across another player known as Kellan Grant who, along with another player named Lulu Tulips, gave him a basic rundown about how the game is played. He leaves by telling Brutalmoose he's "whisking Lulu away now and see her in private a moment," which he read as "do her in the butt."
  • The variety of ways Ian Sexy can pose while sitting on a couch. None of them look normal.

Bad Milk

  • He refers to the game's selection screen as a "magical carousel of jackasses", due to most of the choices being men in bubbles.
    • Later he calls another one "a spinning room of douchebags".
  • The first man in a bubble he encounters is a bearded nearly bald man with glasses who's trapped in a wall of water. He calls this man Walter White and gets mad when Walter keeps coming out of the water looking like he's about to say something, only to go back under.
    "Okay. Fuck you, Walter. Fuck you and your round ass glasses, your goddamn goatee, and your stupid dramatic music. [Walter just stays in the water] Oh. Oh, I see how it is. Not gonna come out now, huh?"
  • His annoyance with the record puzzle, followed by more irritation from a voice that just won't get to the point.
    "Hmm... for beating this puzzle, the player gets a one word clue. They have to wait over a minute, though, while the idiot on the record "umms" and "ahhhs" for a while. Trust me, it's a great idea."
  • His reaction to the game crashing at the combination lock puzzle.
  • Similarly, his baffled reaction to the ending.

Mall Tycoon 3

  • He really doesn't like the game's artstyle. The three people on the cover terrify him and he calls the mall-walkers on the title screen "creepy".
    "You know, I really like how nothing on this cover is terrifying. Not in the slightest. Not this. Not this. Or not even this.
    [stock scream sound effect as it zooms on the character's face]"
    • Later they appear on a billboard and Moose believes they are the reason his mall failed.
    "Was it because the idea of a three story sunglass hut was a bad idea? Well, of course not. That idea is badass. It's because these little fuckers were looming over my mall driving all my customers away."
  • One of Ian's ideas for the name of a game store is "Ian's Totally Bitchin' Store (With Games)]], with the logo for the store having the word "Bitch" in massive font compared to the rest of the title.
  • He gets bored and decides to torture the customers by building a giant maze with just one clothing store at the end.
  • After attempting to end the video with a very lame Take That, Audience!, Ian tinkers with it by waggling a wrench at a screen before it ends up as… "Ian Takes Off His Clothes". He tries to turn on the camera… and ends up turning it off instead.

Space Dude

  • BOOGIE TIME!
  • Moose thinks Space Dude's design is Nightmare Fuel. Made worse when Dude flashes a Slasher Smile during one of the game over sequences.
    • He's not even safe on the options screen, as the menu is transparent and you can see Dude lurking behind it with an ominous grin on his face.
  • For one of the game over screens:
    Moose: I fail to dodge a demonic bat, then next thing I know it's giving Space Dude a slow, sensual lick. Who wants to see that?! Uh... Don't... Don't answer that.

Amazon Trail II

  • When he talks about flowers, trees, and birds, he shows pictures of a Fire Flower, Jet the Hawk, and The Giving Tree.
  • The surprise appearance at the end of the Riverbank girl from Oregon Trail II.

Boobah: Wiggle and Giggle

  • Brutalmoose creating scenarios with The Story People through a sticker book game. These include one character growing into a giant, a love triangle between two grandparents and their dog and alternate universe doppelgangers arriving to beat up the originals.
  • Brutalmoose actually has so much fun making scenarios, he changes his mind about the game and decides that it's perfect for the target audience. In fact, it's perfect for everyone. Everyone should buy Boobah: Wiggle and Giggle. Everyone needs it. Your existence is meaningless without Boobah.

Survivor: The Interactive Game

Money Town

  • His oddly intense reaction to finding out the way his allowance worked in his house was because of the game's creator.
  • SHORT CUT SEES ALL
  • Brutalmoose playing the piano version of Cruel Angel's Thesis over the ending of the game.
  • When his game crashes, he realizes he never saved. Thus he starts a new game under the name Buttz and "cheats the system" by playing Penny's quiz until he gets enough money to renovate the park.
    Brutalmoose: Come on, now, don't you crash on me... (An error pops up, but the title is misspelled as Moneytow) Ah, damn you Moneytow!
  • Brutalmoose pointing out the Fridge Logic of Money Town's infrastructure, including:
    • Why not use the money found on the tree in the center of town, which contradicts the game creator's book Money Doesn't Grow On Trees.
    Brutalmoose: But the real question is; does money grow on trees or not? Like, make up your mind, Godfrey.
    • Why are the streets literally paved with gold but they don't have the money to finance a park renovation?
    • His reaction to Ona Budget, who sings about being poor... when gold bars are the pavement for the roads.
  • PARK OPENED BY Buttz

Yobi's Basic Spelling Tricks

  • His noting of the inconsistent titles of the game, leading to him pointing out that later releases let you name it yourself, after Yobi's. He names it Yobi's a Fart Face.
  • Brutalmoose saying that Yobi being part of a tribe is believable as the one from Island Peril, or even Amazon Trail II.
  • The fact that it takes so long to paddle forward in the minigames that it would be easier to walk to the mountain on foot.
  • Brutalmoose says that it's a little known fact, but hippos love tomatos in response to using one to ride a hippo as a puzzle element, complete with picture of a hippo, a tomato and heart. Later, he comes across zebras who can be lead temporarily with tomatos, and uses the same picture with a zebra pasted over the hippo.
    Brutalmoose: It's a little known fact, but zebras actually love tomatos.
  • Brutalmoose says that the animation for Yobi's dialogue is creepily smooth, which makes sense for avoiding putting the answer on-screen...which they did anyway.
  • His sending a muted clip of Yobi talking to see if someone could get it right.
    Brutalmoose: So, I sent them (PBG and two of his other friends) a muted clip to do just that. They tried, and...well, they tried.
  • At the end, Brutalmoose considers renaming his channel "Ian's YouTube Demons".

Full Strength Strongman Competition

  • The entire opening to the video, which is made as an advertisement for the product. Knowing Brutalmoose, it quickly devolves.
    Brutalmoose: What do you mean I can't say b*** on a commercial? If I wanna say b***, I'm gonna say b***. B***, ***, ***, ***!. I mean, have you seen these ***ing muscles, bra?
  • His amusement at the poor in-game models is contagious.
    Brutalmoose: I mean, they almost look like people. Almost.
  • The "Manly Muscles" song
    Zurachi: Gotta hit Z and C and sometimes spacebar!
  • And afterwards...
    Brutalmoose: I couldn't do it, I couldn't win. Heinz, Computer got everything; the fame, the first place bronze trophy, the money, the...mustard? (a pic of 'Heinz' mustard shows on the screen)
    Brutalmoose: I know it was a long shot, but, I don't even feel any stronger after playing this. If anything I feel weaker. Piece of junk. (throws it into space where it hits a satellite)

Restaurant Empire II

  • Brutalmoose's first few attempts to open Delia's First Coffee Shop, which mostly consist of customers walking in and immediately leaving. Turns out he forgot to actually add coffee to the menu.
  • Brutalmoose's reaction to a message box about a "rotund man in a white suit" approaching a completely different restaurant that keeps appearing. He later visualizes the "rotund man" as Colonel Sanders.
  • Once business at Delia's First Coffee Shop starts picking up, the game glitches up, resulting in a lighting error that makes it look like a nuke went off or the place is being Raptured. Brutalmoose takes this time to blindly place more potted plants haphazardly around the room. When the lighting error fixes itself, all the customers and staff are gone, leading Brutalmoose to believe it actually WAS the Rapture.
  • Another glitch causes a woman to stand outside the coffee shop and tap her foot while placing her hands on her hips for at least two in-game hours. Brutalmoose notices other customers going outside to do the same thing, believing it to be some sort of cult, with the "rotund man" acting as their deity.
  • Brutalmoose's fake commercial for Delia's First Coffee Shop, attempting to capitalize on the shop's cult, lamps, lion statues, lamps, "state of the art bathrooms" complete with VIP poop-side seats, and their world famous lamps. It also advertises their foot tapping prayer sessions to communicate with the "rotund man", and their daily 6 PM Rapture.
  • ALL HAIL THE ROTUND MAN.

Bad Rats Show

  • "It's not like there's a hot and steamy sex scene between Bomber Rat, Pope Rat, Jeebus Rat, the severed cat spine, and Your Mom."

Critical Path

SimCoaster

  • Moose is confused by the music that plays when you ride a roller coaster and likens it to background music of a scene in a Silent Movie where someone is doing something mischievous, but also really lame. During this, he demonstrates by filming himself in silent movie style switching someone's shoes around and laughing evilly accompanied by the aforementioned music.
    Dialogue Card: Now he'll put the shoe on the wrong foot!

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie

Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego?

  • The entire edited speech by Ivan Idea, the "Titan of Tinkering"... which is now completely jumbled and hilarious.
    The Transcontinental Railroad made it much easier for settlers to tinker my caboose! This resulted in a lot of growth and progress.

Smart House

My Magic Dog

  • "Pizza, Pizza!"
  • YOUR DOG IS FUCKING DEAD
  • "My Racist Dad Dates a Dumpster Diver and My Magic Dog is There (Sometimes)"

Invisible Dad

Animal

  • Ian reaches the conclusion that, at the dawn of the world, four celestial beings ordained that all packaged dried meat products will be marketed for assholes.

Kid Cuisine

  • Corn.
    • At the end, Ian improvises his own competing line of Kid's TV dinners... which is literally just corn, even being named "Ian's Box-O-Frozen-Corn For Kids!". He even thinks of a licensing deal with SpongeBob SquarePants, with corn shaped just like Spongebob, complete with the tagline, "I'm ready, I'm ready, for a shitton of corn!"

The Fairy King of Ar

The Thirteenth Year

Dream Bunny

Pajama Sam 3

  • The edit to Sam's speech at the end of the game, where everybody is now inexplicably talking about cheese sandwiches. Bonus points for pitch-shifting Sam's voice to get higher every time he says cheese sandwich.

Killjoy

Crane Games and Other Arcade Novelties

  • Ian refers to several machines as being ones that exist in The Coin Game. That's not funny. What is funny is him apologizing for his constant referral to them as such.
  • At one point Ian shows off a Superbooths Photography booth, choosing Fabreeze as his photographer. Watching Ian, a gay man, with an obviously strained smile at Fabreeze's stereotypical flaming Camp Gay mannerisms is Cringe Comedy at its purest.
    • Ian also explains away his choice as being because Fabreeze "looks like he'd know a lot about photography" while the camera zooms in on him grinning and shaking his head.
    • There's also the fact that he had the perfect opportunity to get his photos taken by Austin Powers due to Sega being able to license him, but chose instead to go with Fabreeze for the uncomfortable comedy factor.

The Nintendo VHS Tapes

Pajama Sam 4: Sam's Final Mistake

  • Ian cosplaying as Sam.
  • One of the first obstacles in Sam's way, is a mall guard who won't let him into the Grubby Corner Mall, because he doesn't have a shirt, socks or shoes on. (Even though, he's wearing pajamas) Ian makes fun of the fact that the guard doesn't say anything about pants.
    Ian: Pants. (a pair of pants appear on screen next to him) Unimportant. (an X appears over the pants as a buzzer goes off) Feel free to just whip it out at the Grubby Corner Mall. You know, one time I whipped it out at the mall, and it was not appreciated. People were very unsettled, actually.
  • "Speaking of misunderstood nuts, one of Sam's friends in this game is a dirty sock."
  • The way he talks about a sentient sponge that Sam comes across.
    "I don't much care for the Sponge."
  • "Pajama Sam 5 in When You Have No Friends, It's A Sad Lonely End"
  • When Ian talks about the game's performance, he brings up Sam freezing in place every time he goes to another screen. During which, a green-screened Ian appears over a body of water in the game. After the scene's done loading, Ian disappears under the water, complete with a slide whistle sound and a water splash effect.

    Lightning Round 
  • Everything in Kid Pix Studio Deluxe. Ian delivers his lines like an advertisement, accompanied by horrible (and hilarious) drawings of other youtubers. Caddicarus's face is described as "wrong" and "disgusting".
  • Firefighters 2014 review is over 2 minutes of repetitive NPC dialogue, bad AI, glitches, dull gameplay, bad physics and an actually creepy reference to a comedy sketch. Ian's only line in the entire video is "Fucking waste of money".

    Televoid! 
The Baby Game
  • Race Your Baby gives a few of them.
    • "Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Race Your Baby, the only game show where it's okay if your baby is a little racist."
    • Host Ian completely forgets the name of the second baby, settling on "Judgmistice". He doesn't even try to name the third baby, leaving it as "Baby No. 3".
    • Ian's reaction to Race Your Baby.
    Ian: I'll see you guys next time, for now I'm... uh, just gonna put this back down here.

    Brutalfoods 
Lunchables Pizza
  • His edits to the first old commercial, wherein after the kid's mom finally gets the hint and gives him Lunchables pizza to eat at school, he edits in his own face from earlier in the video over the kid's, resulting in the timeless "Thanks, Mom- Bitch!"
  • Ian accidentally knocks the pepperoni pizza Lunchable off the table and onto the floor, which, for some reason, had a hairbrush lying down there, which obviously gets most of the cheese onto it.

Banana-roll Salad

  • The titular food features bananas with mayonnaise spread on top of them. It tastes about as well as you'd expect.
    • As Ian mentions the Mayo in the ingredient list, he merely stares at the camera. The sound of a conveyor belt churning fills the air as the images of banana and mayonnaise begin to inch closer together.

Hungry-Man

  • The fact that Ian is wearing a muscle costume the entire video.
  • Instead of using a nonsensical scoring system like in the Lunchables video, he instead opts to reference an emotion chart to describe how each part of the meal made him feel. This leads to him imitating the way the emotions look on the paper.

Stuffed Rolled Steak

  • Ian, while preparing a pepper for the steak, confesses he has a recurring thought about doing a Chopped parody called "Chorped."
  • The steak is christened Jeremy. Ian proceeds to bash Jeremy's face in with a tenderizer.

Banquet Beef Showdown

  • Ian eating a kernal of corn that fell in his lap is accompanied by a chorus of "Crotch Coooooorn~!"

Frozen Chippy Cheese Snacks

Banquet Bowl Blind Taste Test

  • For a start, Ian isn't actually in his kitchen for this video. He's used a greenscreen to superimpose himself into the shot for whatever reason and at one point you can see Ian stumbling around in the background while Greenscreen!Ian is talking to you.
  • Ian says that he thinks viewers might be uncomfortable watching an entire video without seeing his face. So he prints off an enlarged picture of his eyes and attaches it to the blindfold.
  • Ian claims that he had a neutral third party buy and prepare the bowls for him. He has actually greenscreened himself setting the bowls on the table in front of him.

Ranking 43 Halloween Candies!

  • The video itself is pretty darn funny, but perhaps the funniest part is the comment section. Some of Ian's more controversial candy rankings, like rating M&M's strikingly low, resulted in a large amount of non-serious outrage and playful ribbing.
    "Ian's incorrect opinions makes me feel like he would cool to trade with."

Tiny Japanese Takoyaki Kit!

  • This episode of Brutalfoods is plagued with hilarious technical issues, including his Google Translate app glitching out horribly when trying to read the Japanese instructions, as well as his new kitty MJ interrupting the preparation of the food, up to and including a tug-o-war with the faux octopus filling.

Strange Grocery Taste Test!

  • After trying a Coca-cola novelty drink containing coffee, Ian has the hiccups throughout the rest of the video, which constantly interrupt his speech as he tries to review the rest of the snacks.

    Mystery Tapes 
Treasure Hunt! Mysterious Unlabeled VHS Tapes

What's On the Tapes?! (Double Feature)

Exploring an Unlabeled VHS Tape

  • Ian has a few run-ins with some rather unintentionally creepy ads.
    • First, a Fresh Step ad which has a cat making some creepy faces with dated CGI.
    Ian: I don't like this cat, I would not be friends with this cat, I'm not too crazy about this lady either, to be honest, but it's mostly because she's hanging out with that cat.
    • Then later on, a Pick 'n Save ad with a disturbingly low-budget puppet.
    Ian: Oh no, this is a bad one... [...] Everything about this one was bad. Everything. Hopefully, this store is closed and the Advantage Savers Club Card was shredded long, long ago.
  • Ian saying that Dave Thomas (of Wendy's, who headlined the chain's ads until his death in 2002) is one of the few fast-food figures he can easily recognize besides Colonel Sanders (of KFC) and, after some deliberation, "Mick Donald".

Uncovering Bootleg Films & Retro Ads

  • "Speaking of old fashion, here comes a commercial for ♫Old Navy drawstring shooooooorts!♫ Which is actually pretty catchy."
  • Ian is not particularly interested in Ally McBeal.
    Ian: Sounds fun. You know, that sounds like a real fun show idea, but—oh whoops! Oh no, I accidentally skipped to a commercial for Surge!
  • Ian's hatred for the talking dishwasher in the Jet-Dry ads.

Dated Discoveries on Old VHS Tapes

What's on the Presto Tapes?

  • Of the 66 tapes that Ian purchased for this particular video, at least 17 are Martha Stewart shows. And a number of the others are also related to home improvement and cooking and decorating shows.
  • One tape begins with a promo for Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel (or "sequil", as it's written on the label), proclaiming that she's "no longer an awkward girl, but a mature young woman." Cut to her flopping in a mud puddle.
  • During a tape of a cooking show, Ian says the program made him realize Martha Stewart's success was at least partly due to her being a good host and having an interesting presence. As for the hosts of the other program...
    Ian: These ladies won't stop talking over each other, and it's driving me up a fucking wall.
  • Ian is interested by a promo on the last tape, promoting a challenge on a game show called The Big Moment where a father trained to see if he could identify 30 ice cream flavors while blindfolded. He is so enamored he actually searches for the episode to see that challenge, but sadly, the results end up disappointing; not only does the show feature tons of padding (due to running on an hour-long timeslot), but the father ends up losing on the third flavor. Later on, when discussing the decline of Kmart, he notes that it's almost as sad as "Rick [the father]'s entire family was after he fuckin' biffed the ice cream challenge."

what Secrets does this VHS hold?

  • "Is that a puppy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Ian noting an "unpredictable turn" in the tape's recording of Spider-Man: The Animated Series:
    Mary Jane: (to Hydro Man) I don't love you! I never loved you!
    (Hydro Man gets angry; sudden cut to a random cop show/movie)
  • Ian isn't impressed by a Casper cartoon on the tape, and finds himself more scared by ad breaks featuring Pauly Shore.

    Streams 
Civilization VI
  • All was going rather slow and peacefully in the first stream until four civilizations declared war on Ian at the same time.
    • Three out of the four proceeded to do nothing and the remaining civilization had their peace offer repeatedly shot down as Ian wanted to exploit the war to take over nearby cities.
  • The second stream gradually becomes an improv musical episode featuring such hits as "There's Always More Decorations in the World Today", "Should've Accepted My Friendship", "The Cannon Song" and more.

Episode:Kill My Love

  • When a story stars a seventeen-year-old English girl named iAN (pronounced ee-AHN) Shade, you know it's going to be a good time.
  • Any reference to the main character's mother is replaced with "Me mum?"
  • Ian giving iAN a British accent becomes funny when it's revealed that she doesn't actually have one due to being raised in America.
    • Also: Rafe has a British accent, while Ian doesn't play him with one. As a chat member puts it, "We've landed in accent hell".
  • Ian nonchalantly butchers the pronunciation of words like rendezvous (ren-dez-voos) and gorgeous (jor-juhs). To top it off, he at one point reads "Tomato, to-mah-to" as "Tomayto, tomayto."
  • An option early on that lets iAN punch another character sparks the chat's obsession with punching, which only escalates as the game goes on.
  • The "premium" route of the naming ceremony involves taking a personality quiz in a secluded grotto with everyone inexplicably in monk robes. The chat jokes that the name will be an amalgam of Ian's answers and christens the main character Agent Possum Punch.
  • Seemingly by oversight, the character Dominic never changes out of the naming ceremony robes until near the end of the game, causing much entertainment every time he shows up on screen.
  • Ian sets the words of a lullaby to music, complete with dancing. It is a thing of beauty.
  • For whatever reason, the phrase, "My grandfather brought this building over stone by stone from England." and variations of it became a running gag based on how often it was quoted, earning the character Grandpa Ivor the nickname "Grandpa Mail-A-Building".
    • This culminates into the final scene, where Grandpa Ivor returns and tells iAN they're going on a helicopter ride to England, with Ian and the chat quoting the phrase.
  • Ian's pronunciation of the Golden Dawn subtly morphing into 'Golden Dong' throughout the streams.
  • The Golden Dawn and the Night Hunt's weird obsession with magical outfits, usually dresses and usually vibrating.
  • The hatred of both Rafe and Zen, seeing as one of them is technically the main character's cousin and the other's age, while left ambiguous, is most probably well over the age of 30, while iAN is 17.
    • It's no wonder when given the chance to choose between them, an over whelming majority chose to not pick either at all.
    • Surprisingly though, the chat has no problem with Rafe/Zen.
  • Cast Iron Bitch.

Episode:Bad Boy Bachelor

  • Constant callbacks to the Kill My Love streams.
    • Ian gives the protagonist the same name as iAN and claimed it was a sequel to Kill My Love.
    • The chat still insists the answer to every choice in the game is to punch people.
  • Making fun of Peter and his inability to spell the word chocolate.
  • The odd choice to give Tommy the voice of a robot.
  • Both Ian and the chat hating on Peter and claiming Tommy is the true romantic interest. Which does end up happening in a bizarre third act twist.
  • iAN's love of horse poop.
  • Weird technically difficulties on Episode led to some bizarre statements by the characters.
    Peter, to iAN and Alicia: Wow, you guys look really... Outfit.
    iAN: Thanks Peter!
  • The chat being fans of iAN/Alicia
  • The storyline between Chris Comparison and Tequila Mockingbird are more liked by the chat than the main iAN/Peter storyline.
  • FUCK YOU, VERIZON/BEST BUY.
  • The Morgue ending. Ian's voice acting for the the serial killer is especially hilarious.
Roblox
  • Ians enjoying shooting children in Mad City.
  • Pringle related jokes due to Ians Roblox persona, Jeremy Pringle.
    • His reaction to getting voted out in Survivor.
    Jeremy Pringle: I've been pringled.
Shenmue
  • The repeated use of the words "Um..." or "I see." whenever Ryo talks to someone.
  • Ian's unfortunate addiction to gambling. Anytime he passes a capsule machine or soda machine, expect him to gamble on it.
  • "ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU BOUGHT MERCHANDISE." "Especially since I bought merchandise!"
  • Ian's love of both Tom and Goro.
  • Ian's uncomfortable attitude towards the kids who want to "wressle".

Shenmue 2

  • Ian wanting Ryo to "be handcuffed to Ren" for a little bit longer.
  • Ian taking a picture of Ren's behind while walking behind him.

    Other 
A Hat In Time Prototype
  • Brutalmoose tries out for the part of Mustache Girl.
    Brutalmoose (as Mustache Girl): Wow, you're kinda strong! We should hang out more! Or I'll FUCKING MURDER YOU, YOU STUPID BIT-
  • The livestreams. Even if the game is nothing to write home about (Especially if the game is nothing to write about), there is a high chance that the chat will make you laugh, due to it being full of snark, Lampshade Hanging and sarcasm.

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