- Ian losing his shit completely at the sight of a forest dolphin.
Ian: Don't shoot the skunk. Do shoot the rabbit, bear, owl, deer and...dolphin? Dolphin? Shoot the dolphin? Shoot the dolphin in a forest? F-forest dol- dolphin forest? Forest? Forest - there it is! Fu-fucking forest dolphin. Dolphin forest. Forest dolphin.[Beat]Ian: DOOOOOLPHIIIIIIIN!
- Knuckles' response to Lumina Flowlight's request for help;
Knuckles: (Deadpan) I've got nothing better to do.
Brutalmoose #2: (Deadpan, using the Knuckles clip) I've got nothing better to do.
- Made even funnier when Moose asks for help cleaning up a shattered plate.
- His reaction to the Sonic LIVE minigame
Brutalmoose: But nothing can prepare you for the abomination that is Sonic Live. Everything about this minigame makes me hate living! The music, the guitars, even these spinning lights right here. I MEAN, FUCK THOSE LIGHTS! (shows light bulb spinning 1800 degrees/second)
- Michelle brought her friends on a trip to a island infested with demon arthropods for a college report... even though she already has a textbook with information about the native bugs.
Brutalmoose: You better get your shit together, Michelle, or you'll never become a famous insect physiologist like... these guys?? (Timon and Pumbaa)
- Donkey Kong... on Bug Island
DK (Brutalmoose): Hello, Michelle! Why don't you come out and PLAAAY?? Mwahahahaaa! You insect physiologists are sooooo foolish! Now I will rape and/or eat you. Come on... don't run away, get over here. Just.. get over here. COME ON, MICHELLE, GOD!!
- Everything about Senor, the Sim he creates.
- His favorite food is ice cream, based on its sound, an ice cream truck jingle, he owns a penguin, and when he's depressed he says "This time I'm really gonna do it." followed by a closeup of Senor's face while a distorted version of the ice cream truck jingle plays.
- *porno music plays* "For Senor, press 5 now."
- Mooseton's travel brochure: "We got schools, motherfucker" "And fire stations, bitch"
- When Brutalmoose lets the bird out of the cage.
Brutalmoose: Uh oh! There it goes! Write a good Freebird joke he- aw shit.
- After the game glitches itself to into solving the puzzle Ian breaks out in a Dance while things like "Success", "Congratulations" and "You're Adopted" flash by.
- The terrifying cop on the loading screen which keeps giving Moose jumpscares when he appears.
If he clenched any harder he'd bite right through his jaw!
- At the beginning, he accidentally builds the prison without fences, and is surprised when his prisoners escape.
- Later on, he does figure out how to build fences, and fences in each prisoner without amenities until they escape or die of hunger.
- Ian's interpretation of the odd starving animations.
They're walking around like they're either starving to death or they've just got too much swag!
Their conditions range from "starving" to "straight up gangsta".
- SMALL AMENITIES!
- He calls his prison "Hell Prison", but remember he doesn't have fences, so he changes it to "Satan's Honor System Hell Prison From Hell!!
- "So suck on thaaaaaaaaat Matt Damon!" (Partially played again in slow motion)
- Shadow mounts a hoverboard, and Brutalmoose comments that it's pretty badass, but it needs something...then puts carnival music behind it.
- Brutalmoose's comments on how hard it is to hear Doom's Eye, later mimicking his speech as unintelligble growling.
- Sonic wants you to kill the 'black creatures', which Brutalmoose thinks sounds racist the more he hears it. There is then a clip of Knuckles saying 'Get rid of these annoying aliens' with overlaid text HIDDEN POLITICAL AGENDA?
- Brutalmoose's amusement at the mild swearing Shadow uses. Everytime he says 'damn' in the review, he cuts Shadow saying it in instead.
- Shadows has a weapon looking like a toilet seat, because 'the kids will just eat that up, know what I'm sayin'?'
- By merit of the narmy-ness from the game itself, Shadow's 'Shadow..android?' line.
- Moose using a random identity generator to make party members. The first one is Mary, who is 75 years old.
- Adolf decides to join the party too.
- Brutalmoose buying thousands of pounds of bacon, and he expresses disbelief when it turns out that's too much for a single milk cow to handle.
- Taking a break for two weeks after five miles.
- After the break, everyone still wants to stay.
- "You know, this riverbank makes for a good resting place."
- After the break, everyone still wants to stay.
- "Ducks, deer, hedgehogs..."
- Mary drowning in two feet of water.
- She seems to do something stupid whenever she's even near water.
- James dies, and Brutalmoose proceeds to blame all of his misfortune on him.
- Of course, he did just use a piece of wood.
- "That's not just a small amount of bison, it's a buffa-load!!"
- Ian ends up shooting himself in the foot. The reactions from the others? "You sure it was an accident? We don't want any murderin' varmints hanging about."
- Just when things seem to be getting better, Ian dies of a gunshot wound.
- The return of the riverbank lady at the end.
- GODLY THIGHS!
- "Captain Bible running down hallways, Captain Bible running down hallways, Captain Bible running down-"
- He points out that individual words can be clicked on, and uses this to make the narrator say "We saw a long monster coming" and "Stinky was feeling me slowly".
- For added humor, the first quote mentioned above was made after he called the three main boys immature.
- He keeps pointing out how the main characters of the first book keep missing obvious paranormal activity and how the setting changes of the second book don't make sense.
- The ending, where he mimics Harry's dancing from the game's menu.
- Caddicarus's Incoming Ham
You must suffer!
- After beating the game, Moose explores the badly textured environment, finding a "sand sponge block", "blue robot creeper head", and "magical rainbow egg".
Brutalmoose: If you gaze upon it for too long, you will be filled with mischievousness. Some of humanity's most evil people (pictures of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Plankton appear) were inspired by staring upon the magical rainbow egg for too long. But here it stands, ready for anyone with a heart of pure evil to look upon. It is Crisis City's greatest secret, and also its most dangerous.
- The fact that the radio is so badly drawn that Ian mistakes it for the titular Crisis City.
- Moose believing that Caddicarus had taken the game from Newgrounds. There's even an edited screencap of Newgrounds' front page in which Crisis City was put into.
Brutalmoose: Did you take this from Newgrounds? Can I blam it?
- The visual that accompanies Caddy stating that the guy on the radio was about as worried about the impending tsunami and earthquake as a weatherman giving a normal forecast.
- "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open." "I think I left my closet door open."
- The bulk of the review is portrayed as a story being read by Brutalmoose called "Ian Plays A Sex Game".
- Brutalmoose's confusion with the way the game describes the various NPCs, with such details as "A fat belly", "Her arms jiggle and wobble with fat" and "Her mouth looked normal." He then tries to seduce one of the NPCs, which results in LOTS of Censor Boxes. Other notable quotes include "with her crotch lifted from the ground so it is visible in an obscene manner. A fat belly" and "her buttocks are extremely fat and of normal strength".
- After wandering around for hours, he finally comes across another player known as Kellan Grant who, along with another player named Lulu Tulips, gave him a basic rundown about how the game is played. He leaves by telling Brutalmoose he's "whisking Lulu away now and see her in private a moment," which he read as "do her in the butt."
- The variety of ways Ian Sexy can pose while sitting on a couch. None of them look normal.
- His reaction to the game crashing at the combination lock puzzle.
- Similarly, his baffled reaction to the ending.
- BOOGIE TIME!
- When he talks about flowers, trees, and birds, he shows pictures of a Fire Flower, Jet the Hawk, and The Giving Tree.
- The surprise appearance at the end of the Riverbank girl from Oregon Trail II.
- Brutalmoose creating scenarios with The Story People through a sticker book game. These include one character growing into a giant, a love triangle between two grandparents and their dog and alternate universe doppelgangers arriving to beat up the originals.
- Brutalmoose actually has so much fun making scenarios, he changes his mind about the game and decides that it's perfect for the target audience. In fact, it's perfect for everyone. Everyone should buy Boobah: Wiggle and Giggle. Everyone needs it. Your existence is meaningless without Boobah.
- Oh look, more sarcasm. Who would've thought it?
Brutalmoose: Beautiful, perfect Norm, with that horrible mustache on his face.
Brutalmoose: I didn't mess with his name, his occupation, or even his stats, because let's face it, you can't improve perfection. (Zooms up on his 'horrible' mustache)
- More sarcastic commentary, likely from his own apathy to change any default stuff
- Ian schemes to remove all the islanders which works well for the most part.
Norm (Brutalmoose): I smell beef jerky!
- His oddly intense reaction to finding out the way his allowance worked in his house was because of the game's creator.
- SHORT CUT SEES ALL
- Brutalmoose playing the piano version of Cruel Angel's Thesis over the ending of the game.
- When his game crashes, he realizes he never saved. Thus he starts a new game under the name Buttz and "cheats the system" by playing Penny's quiz until he gets enough money to renovate the park.
Brutalmoose: Come on, now, don't you crash on me... (An error pops up, but the title is misspelled as Moneytow) Ah, damn you Moneytow!
- Brutalmoose pointing out the Fridge Logic of Money Town's infrastructure, including:
Brutalmoose: But the real question is; does money grow on trees or not? Like, make up your mind, Godfrey.
- Why not use the money found on the tree in the center of town, which contradicts the game creator's book Money Doesn't Grow On Trees.
- Why are the streets literally paved with gold but they don't have the money to finance a park renovation?
- His reaction to Ona Budget, who sings about being poor... when gold bars are the pavement for the roads.
- PARK OPENED BY Buttz
- His noting of the inconsistent titles of the game, leading to him pointing out that later releases let you name it yourself, after Yobi's. He names it Yobi's a Fart Face.
- Brutalmoose saying that Yobi being part of a tribe is believable as the one from Island Peril, or even Amazon Trail II.
- The fact that it takes so long to paddle forward in the minigames that it would be easier to walk to the mountain on foot.
- Brutalmoose says that it's a little known fact, but hippos love tomatos in response to using one to ride a hippo as a puzzle element, complete with picture of a hippo, a tomato and heart. Later, he comes across zebras who can be lead temporarily with tomatos, and uses the same picture with a zebra pasted over the hippo.
Brutalmoose: It's a little known fact, but zebras actually love tomatos.
- Brutalmoose says that the animation for Yobi's dialogue is creepily smooth, which makes sense for avoiding putting the answer on-screen...which they did anyway.
- His sending a muted clip of Yobi talking to see if someone could get it right.
- At the end, Brutalmoose considers renaming his channel "Ian's YouTube Demons"
- The entire opening to the video, which is made as an advertisement for the product. Knowing Brutalmoose, it quickly devolves.
Brutalmoose: What do you mean I can't say b*** on a commercial? If I wanna say b***, I'm gonna say b***. B***. I mean, have you seen these ***ing muscles, bra?
- His amusement at the poor in-game models is contagious.
Brutalmoose: I mean, they almost look like people. Almost.
- The "Manly Muscles" song
Zurachi: Gotta hit Z and C and sometimes spacebar!
- And afterwards...
Brutalmoose: I couldn't do it, I couldn't win. Heinz, Computer got everything; the fame, the first place bronze trophy, the money, the...mustard? (a pic of 'Heinz' mustard shows on the screen)Brutalmoose: I know it was a long shot, but, I don't even feel any stronger after playing this. If anything I feel weaker. Piece of junk. (throws it into space where it hits a satellite)
- Brutalmoose's first few attempts to open Delia's First Coffee Shop, which mostly consist of customers walking in and immediately leaving. Turns out he forgot to actually add coffee to the menu.
- Brutalmoose's reaction to a message box about a "rotund man in a white suit" approaching a completely different restaurant that keeps appearing. He later visualizes the "rotund man" as Colonel Sanders.
- Once business at Delia's First Coffee Shop starts picking up, the game glitches up, resulting in a lighting error that makes it look like a nuke went off or the place is being Raptured. Brutalmoose takes this time to blindly place more potted plants haphazardly around the room. When the lighting error fixes itself, all the customers and staff are gone, leading Brutalmoose to believe it actually WAS the Rapture.
- Another glitch causes a woman to stand outside the coffee shop and tap her foot while placing her hands on her hips for at least two in-game hours. Brutalmoose notices other customers going outside to do the same thing, believing it to be some sort of cult, with the "rotund man" acting as their deity.
- Brutalmoose's fake commercial for Delia's First Coffee Shop, attempting to capitalize on the shop's cult, lamps, lion statues, lamps, "state of the art bathrooms" complete with VIP poop-side seats, and their world famous lamps. It also advertises their foot tapping prayer sessions to communicate with the "rotund man", and their daily 6 PM Rapture.
- ALL HAIL THE ROTUND MAN.
- "It's not like there's a hot and steamy sex scene between Bomber Rat, Pope Rat, Jeebus Rat, the severed cat spine, and Your Mom."
- Calling out the heroes for their Idiot Ball moment at the start of the plot.
- Everything in Kid Pix Studio Deluxe. Ian delivers his lines like an advertisement, accompanied by horrible (and hilarious) drawings of other youtubers. Caddicarus's face is described as "wrong" and "disgusting".
- Firefighters 2014 review is over 2 minutes of repetive NPC dialogue, bad AI, glitches, dull gameplay, bad physics and an actually creepy reference to a comedy scetch. Ian's only line in the entire video is "Fucking waste of money".
The Baby Game
- Race Your Baby gives a few of them.
Ian: I'll see you guys next time, for now I'm... uh, just gonna put this back down here.
- "Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Race Your Baby, the only game show where it's okay if your baby is a little racist."
- Host Ian completely forgets the name of the second baby, settling on "Judgmistice". He doesn't even try to name the third baby, leaving it as "Baby No. 3".
- Ian's reaction to Race Your Baby.