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** When Edmund pulls Baldricks haed out of the toliet to see if it works...

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** When Edmund pulls Baldricks haed Baldrick's head out of the toliet to see if it works...
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* When Bladrick declares that they will be stuck travelling through time, Edmund points out that they have pressed all but one button. However..
-->'''Edmund:''' There is one thing to push that maybe our salvation.. ''(pushes the button but it does nothing)'' or not, because it is in fact.. ''(takes out the "button" from its slot)'' a lolipop!
--> '''Baldrick:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Raspberry flavoured, my lord.]]
--> '''Edmund:''' ...oh god.
* When Edmund has ran out of ideas, Bladrick says that if he were to drown, his life would flash before his eyes and therefore would be able to remember where the levers were set before they set off. Edmund agrees to the plan, with one slight modification - he uses Baldrick to see if it would work[[note]] Arguably, this would make sense as, possibly, only Baldrick knew were the levers set where Edmund wouldn't[[/note]] .
** When Edmund pulls Baldricks haed out of the toliet to see if it works...
---> '''Bladrick:''' I'm 18 Years old, I've just left Nursery school.
*** When he tries it again...
----> '''Baldrick:''' I'm 25, I'm back at Nursery school.
**** Eventually, the plan works and Bladrick is able to remember where the levers were set. But not before he points out...
-----> '''Baldrick:''' I wish... I wish I [[{{Squick}} flushed the loo first...]]
-----> '''Edmund:''' ...oh yeah.
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'''George III:''' ''[claps]'' Bravo! ''[puts his arm around Blackadder]'' You know, my son, for the first time in my life, I've a real fatherly feeling about you! People may say I'm stark raving mad, and say the vord "pengvin" after each sentence, but I believe ve two can make Britain great, you as the Prince Regent, and I as King Pengvin!\\

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'''George III:''' ''[claps]'' Bravo! ''[puts his arm around Blackadder]'' You know, my son, for the first time in my life, I've a real fatherly feeling about you! People may say I'm stark raving mad, and say the vord "pengvin" after each sentence, but I believe ve two can make Britain great, you as the Prince Regent, and I as King Pengvin!\\Pengvin![[note]] The RuleOfFunny in operation. The word that George went through a phase of saying after his sentences was not "penguin" but "peacock".[[/note]]\\
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** The same thing happens again, when Baldrick gives Blackadder a letter intended to be sent to George's mother, with Blackadder pointing out that his mother will be recieving a letter, intended to be sent to Blackadder, saying he is sorry that she will be shot in the morning. Just imagine her reaction..
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-->'''Blackadder:''' This is the worst moment of my entire life. I spent my last penny on a catskin windcheater, and I've just broken a priceless turnip! (''A knock on the door, followed by angry yelling'') And now I'm about to be viciously slaughtered by a naked Tunisian sock merchant. All I can say, Baldrick, is this - ''It's the last time I dabble in politics!''

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'''Biggun:''' Oh yes, certainly! We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under 5s, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and the abolition of slavery!]]\\

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'''Biggun:''' Oh yes, certainly! We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under 5s, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and the abolition of slavery!]]\\slavery!\\
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--->'''Blackadder''': ''[doing his best to match Farrow's {{Guttural Growl|er}}]'': Well I got into a scrap here with a fellow who called you ''[[[OohMeAccentsSlipping normal voice]]]'' a nosy little strumpet who's always going blubbing to the queen ''[back to growl]'' and we got into a fight, and he cut off the top half.

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--->'''Blackadder''': ''[doing his best to match Farrow's {{Guttural Growl|er}}]'': voice]'': Well I got into a scrap here with a fellow who called you ''[[[OohMeAccentsSlipping normal voice]]]'' a nosy little strumpet who's always going blubbing to the queen ''[back to growl]'' and we got into a fight, and he cut off the top half.
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'''Blackadder''': Baldrick, believe me; eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with ''me'' and ''this'' pencil if we can't replace this dictionary.

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'''Blackadder''': Baldrick, believe me; [[BlasphemousBoast eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic picnic]] compared to five minutes with ''me'' and ''this'' ''[[NoodleImplements this]]'' pencil if we can't replace this dictionary.
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-->"I'd like to leave a message for the head of the Flying Corps, please. That's Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh Massingbird-Massingbird, VC, DFC, and Bar. Message reads: 'Where -- are -- you -- you -- bastard'."

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-->"I'd like to leave a message for the head of the Flying Corps, please. That's Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh Massingbird-Massingbird, VC, DFC, and Bar. Message reads: 'Where -- are -- you you, -- you -- bastard'.bastard?'."
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-->'''George:''' ''(reading from a piece of paper)'' Gentlemen, you have heard all the evidence presented here today, but in the end it is up to the conscience of your hearts to decide. And I firmly believe, that like me, you will conclude that Captain Blackadder is in fact, totally and utterly guilty! ''(sits down, looking satisfied; Blackadder turns his paper over, George stands up)'' Of nothing more than trying to do his duty under difficult circumstances!

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-->'''George:''' ''(reading from a piece of paper)'' Gentlemen, you have heard all the evidence presented here today, but in the end it is up to the conscience of your hearts to decide. And I firmly believe, that like me, you will conclude that Captain Blackadder is in fact, totally and utterly guilty! ''(sits down, looking satisfied; Blackadder [[CueCardPause turns his paper over, over]], George stands up)'' Of nothing more than trying to do his duty under difficult circumstances!
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'''George:''' ''(finishes cleaning his revolver and cocks it)'' Yes, but we don't want those sort of orders! We want orders to death or glory! ''(aims his (unloaded) gun and pulls the trigger)'' [[DoubleEntendre When are we gonna give Fritz a taste of our British spunk?]]\\

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'''George:''' ''(finishes cleaning his revolver and cocks it)'' Yes, but we don't want those sort of orders! We want orders to death or glory! ''(aims his (unloaded) gun and pulls the trigger)'' [[DoubleEntendre [[InnocentInnuendo When are we gonna give Fritz a taste of our British spunk?]]\\
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'''Blackadder:''' The path of my life is strewn with cowpats straight from the Devil's own ''satanic '''herd!'''''

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'''Blackadder:''' The path of my life is strewn with cowpats straight from the Devil's own ''satanic '''herd!'''''
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'''Flashheart''': No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back! (''points to the ceiling, then the floor with his pointer'')\\
'''Blackadder''': I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement want the vote.\\

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'''Flashheart''': No, (''AsideGlance'') ''No,'' I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back! (''points to the ceiling, then the floor with his pointer'')\\
'''Blackadder''': '''Blackadder''': ...I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement want the vote.\\
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** Blackadder then slowly realises that he has just ruined a priceless turnip.
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-->'''Blackadder:''' We left London in good weather. Unfortunately, that was as far as our luck held; as soon as we left Dover harbour we were struck by a tidal wave, and I was forced to swim to Boulogne with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers. Then we were taken to Paris where I was summarily hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the Bastille. It was then I decided that I'd had enough. I escaped, killed the guards, rescued the count, and ran to the Versailles where I broke into Mr. Robespierre's bedroom, where I left a little tray of chocolates and an insulting note.

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-->'''Blackadder:''' We left London in good weather. Unfortunately, that was as far as our luck held; as soon as we left Dover harbour we were struck by a tidal wave, and I was forced to swim to Boulogne with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers. Then we were taken to Paris where I was summarily hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the Bastille. It was then I decided that I'd had enough. I escaped, killed the guards, rescued the count, and ran to the Versailles where I broke into Mr. Robespierre's bedroom, where I left a little tray of chocolates and an insulting note. [[note]]A nod to the famous Cadbury's Milk Tray adverts from the eighties, where a mystery man dressed all in black breaks into a lady's life and leaves her a box of Milk Tray and a calling card.[[/note]]
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* After Blackadder reacts with fury at Baldrick accepted the job of executing King Charles, Baldrick's claims he has a cunning plan to save him:

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* After Blackadder reacts with fury at Baldrick accepted accepting the job of executing King Charles, Baldrick's Baldrick claims that he has a cunning plan to save him:

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* After Blackadder figures out that Baldrick has accepted the job of executing King Charles, Baldrick's claims he has a cunning plan to save him:

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* Blackadder assures King Charles that the Roundheads will never find a man willing to execute him. "And if they do, may my conjugal dipstick turn into a tennis racquet." Moments later, they receive a message. After Blackadder reads it, he drops the orange he was holding, [[CueTheFlyingPigs which bounces back into his hand]].
* Baldrick tells Blackadder about the job he's just picked up. Blackadder is barely paying attention because he's still fixated on the message from the previous scene.
-->'''Blackadder''': I just don’t understand it. Where on Earth did they find a man so utterly without heart and soul, so low and degraded as to accept the job of beheading the King of England? [''{{beat}}''] Baldrick…\\
'''Baldrick''': Yeah?\\
'''Blackadder''': That little job that fell into your lap…\\
'''Baldrick''': Yes?\\
'''Blackadder''': It wasn't, by any chance, something to do with an axe, a basket, a little black mask, and the King of England…?\\
'''Baldrick''': Nah…\\
'''Blackadder''': Go on.\\
'''Baldrick''': I couldn’t find a basket.
* After Blackadder figures out that reacts with fury at Baldrick has accepted the job of executing King Charles, Baldrick's claims he has a cunning plan to save him: him:
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'''Darling:''' Sir, I recieved a phone call this afternoon from Pope Gregory IX, telling me that our cook had been selected for the England cricket team, and must set sail for the western Indies immediately.
'''Melchett:''' Really?

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'''Darling:''' Sir, I recieved a phone call this afternoon from Pope Gregory IX, telling me that our cook had been selected for the England cricket team, and must set sail for the western Indies immediately. \n \\
'''Melchett:''' Really?Really? \\

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-->'''Melchett:''' Slightly, um... unusual taste, this sauce Bearnaise. \\
'''Darling:''' (''looking at a "mignon" with disgust'') Yes, sir. And to be quite frank, these... these mignon are... are a little... well... \\
'''Melchett:''' What? \\
'''Darling:''' Well... Dungy. \\
'''Melchett:''' What on earth is wrong with our cook?! \\
'''Darling:''' Well, it's a rather strange story, sir. \\
'''Melchett:''' Oh? Tell, tell! \\
'''Darling:''' Sir, I recieved a phone call this afternoon from Pope Gregory IX, telling me that our cook had been selected for the England cricket team, and must set sail for the western Indies immediately.
'''Melchett:''' Really?
'''Darling:''' Barely a moment later, the phone rang again. It was a trio of wandering Italian chefs, who happen to be in the area, offering their services. So I had the quarter master take them on at once. \\
(''Melchett exclaims in understanding, before trying the "raisins" from the "plum duff", and is immediately repulsed by the taste.'') \\
'''Melchett:''' OH?! JUMPING GIBLETS! (''spits them out'') Are you sure these are real raisins in this plum duff?! \\
'''Darling:''' Oh, yes. I'm sure they are, sir. [[TemptingFate Everything will be alright]], [[FromBadToWorse once the cream custard arrives.]]

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-->'''Blackadder''': All right, where are we?\\

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-->'''Blackadder''': All right, total and utter quiet, do you understand? So, for instance, if any of us crawl onto any barbed wire, they must on no account go "ARRGGH!" \\
'''Baldrick:''' Did you just crawl over some barbed wire, sir? \\
'''Blackadder:''' No, Baldrick, I just put my elbow in a blob of ice cream. \\
'''Baldrick:''' Oh, that's alright. \\
'''Blackadder:''' Now,
where the hell are we?\\we? \\

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* Blackadder talks to Baldrick about his plans for after running off with Amy.
-->'''Blackadder''': She'll get me abroad and make me rich, then I'll probably drop her and get 200 concubines to share my bed.\\
'''Baldrick''': Won't they be rather prickly?\\
[''long {{beat}} for laughter'']\\
'''Blackadder''': ''Concubines'', Baldrick, not ''porcupines''.



* Baldrick's announces he has a cunning plan to save King Charles:

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* One of the Blackadder dynasty's best insults:
-->'''Blackadder''': Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.\\
'''Baldrick''': In what way?\\
'''Blackadder''': It doesn't exist.
* After Blackadder figures out that Baldrick has accepted the job of executing King Charles,
Baldrick's announces claims he has a cunning plan to save King Charles: him:



* For whatever reason, King Charles is portrayed acting like Prince Charles, and being something of a ditz, such as when he's led out to be executed.
-->'''Cromwell:''' Are you prepared to meet your maker?
-->'''King Charles:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'm always interested to meet all manner of people, particularly those in manufacturing industries.]]

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* After Blackadder decides to steal the executioner job from Baldrick, he sends him to King Charles to inform him that Sir Edmund will not be with him tomorrow. "And make sure you think up a bloody good excuse!" Cut to Baldrick leaving the King's cell, having given his excuse. A minute later, Charles tells the executioner, "I had hoped that my good, loyal chum Sir Edmund Blackadder would be here with me, but unfortunately his wife's sister's puppy fell into the strawberry patch, so naturally he can't be with us."
* For whatever reason, King Charles is portrayed acting like [[UsefulNotes/CharlesIII Prince Charles, Charles]], and being something of a ditz, such as when he's led out to be executed.
-->'''Cromwell:''' Are you prepared ready to meet your maker?
-->'''King Charles:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well, I'm always interested absolutely fascinated to meet people from all manner walks of people, life, but yes, particularly those in manufacturing industries.]]
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* Baldrick enthusiastically imitating a Sopwith Camel, which is possibly the most hilariously annoying sound. Blackadder's sarcastic response to what Baldrick imitating is classic.
-->'''Blackadder:''' Baldrick, what are you doing? \\
'''Baldrick:''' I'm a Sopwith Camel, sir. \\
'''Blackadder:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Oh, it is a Sopwith Camel. Ah, right. I always get confused between the sound of a Sopwith Camel and the sound of a malodourous runt wasting everybody's time!]]

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-->'''Blackadder:''' ''[as his plane spins toward the ground, smoke pouring out of the bullet holes]'' Yes, now this is developing into a distinctly ''boring'' situation, but we're still on our side of the lines-\\

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-->'''Blackadder:''' ''[as his (''humming'') Actually they're right. This is a doddle! \\
(''Blackadder's plane wobbles a bit'') \\
'''Baldrick:''' Careful, sir. \\
'''Blackadder:''' Whoa, whoops! A little wobble over there. I'll get the hang of it, don't worry. Alright, Baldrick. How many rounds have we got? \\
'''Baldrick:''' Uh, 500, sir. Cheese and tomato for you. Rat for me. \\
'''George:''' (''his plane swoops in'') Hello, sir! Tally bally ho! \\
'''Baldrick:''' What's this, sir? \\
(''Baldrick climbs out the cockpit, causing the plane to swerve upward.'') \\
'''Baldrick:''' AHH! \\
'''Blackadder:''' No! Baldrick!! Baldrick, will you stop arsing about and get back in the cockpit?! \\
'''Baldrick:''' (''waving around, whooping'') Hey, sir! Look, I can see a pretty red plane from up here! Haha! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! \\
'''Red Baron:''' (''flying the red plane, pursuing Blackadder and Baldrick'') Schnell! Da unten! (''EvilLaugh'') \\
'''Blackadder:''' Ohh, no! Watch out, Baldrick! It's still right on our tail. ''[Red Baron shoots at the plane, creating bullet holes in the wing. Blackadder's
plane spins toward the ground, smoke pouring out of the bullet holes]'' Yes, now this is developing into a distinctly ''boring'' situation, but we're still on our side of the lines-\\

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