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* When Anne's letters start getting sappy and romantic, the narration omits whole pages and paragraphs from the reader.
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!! Anne of Ingleside
* Anne returns to Ingleside after a trip and Susan fills her in on the happenings at Ingleside. When Anne asks why the two ceramic dogs that decorate the fireplace (Gog and Magog) are gone, Susan informs her she removed them after Walter told an important guest that their names were "God" and "My God."
* Anne returns to Ingleside after a trip and Susan fills her in on the happenings at Ingleside. When Anne asks why the two ceramic dogs that decorate the fireplace (Gog and Magog) are gone, Susan informs her she removed them after Walter told an important guest that their names were "God" and "My God."
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-->'''Gilbert:''' Anne Shirley, what in the heck are you doing?
-->'''Anne:''' [[SarcasmMode Fishing for lake trout.]]
-->'''Anne:''' [[SarcasmMode Fishing for lake trout.]]
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* Young Davy isn't particularly excited about going to the FluffyChoudHeaven that is preached at church, being a scamp and full of energy. However, one week during after his catechism lesson...
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* Young Davy isn't particularly excited about going to the FluffyChoudHeaven FluffyCloudHeaven that is preached at church, being a scamp and full of energy. However, one week during after his catechism lesson...
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* Young Davy isn't particularly excited about going to the FluffyChoudHeaven that is preached at church, being a scamp and full of energy. However, one week during after his catechism lesson...
--->'''Davy:''' There'll be plenty of jam in heaven, that's one comfort.
--->'''Anne:''' Perhaps there will...if we want it. But what makes you think so?
--->'''Davy:''' Why, it's in the catechism.
--->'''Anne:''' Oh, no, there is nothing like THAT in the catechism, Davy.
--->'''Davy:''' But I tell you there is. It was in that question Marilla taught me last Sunday. "Why should we love God?" It says, "Because He makes preserves, and redeems us." Preserves is just a holy way of saying jam.
--->'''Anne:''' [[INeedToGoIronMyDog I must get a drink of water.]]
--->'''Davy:''' There'll be plenty of jam in heaven, that's one comfort.
--->'''Anne:''' Perhaps there will...if we want it. But what makes you think so?
--->'''Davy:''' Why, it's in the catechism.
--->'''Anne:''' Oh, no, there is nothing like THAT in the catechism, Davy.
--->'''Davy:''' But I tell you there is. It was in that question Marilla taught me last Sunday. "Why should we love God?" It says, "Because He makes preserves, and redeems us." Preserves is just a holy way of saying jam.
--->'''Anne:''' [[INeedToGoIronMyDog I must get a drink of water.]]
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** Anne is clinging to a bridge piling when she notices Gilbert approaching in a rowboat. She makes the best expressions to indicate her exasperation and annoyance, then tries to compose herself so she can speak to Gilbert as cooly as though they were passing on the street. Sometimes it just isn't possible to "rise to the occasion", Anne!
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** In the miniseries Anne is clinging to a bridge piling when she notices Gilbert approaching in a rowboat. She makes the best expressions to indicate her exasperation and annoyance, then tries to compose herself so she can speak to Gilbert as cooly as though they were passing on the street. Sometimes it just isn't possible to "rise to the occasion", Anne!
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** Anne is clinging to a bridge piling when she notices Gilbert approaching in a rowboat. She makes the best expressions to indicate her exasperation and annoyance, then tries to compose herself so she can speak to Gilbert as cooly as though they were passing on the street. Sometimes it just isn't possible to "rise to the occasion", Anne!
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**The film version changes this to Mrs. Lynde's cow. The scene in which Anne tries to chase it out of a muddy field is absolutely hilarious, complete with Anne covered top to toe in black mud.
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* Davy's letter to Anne. ''All'' of it. It's actually possible to pick out someone who's recently read the book by their laughing at the phrase 'Why, Anne? I want to know.'
!! Anne of Windy Poplars / Willows
* Anne's love-to-hate relationship with pumpkin preserves. When she's first invited out to dinner by a local family, they serve pumpkin preserves, and Anne, who's never had it before, finds it delicious and raves about it to her hosts. However, as she's invited to dinner by all the prominent local families in turn, every single one of them serves pumpkin preserves, because they've been told that Anne loves it. Anne quickly becomes very, very tired of the dish, but etiquette demands she eat it every time. It gets to the point where she's especially looking forward to dining with one family because she knows they hate pumpkin in all it's forms. When she gets there? They've asked the neighbors to provide some pumpkin preserves, especially for Anne, including a large jar to take home. Later that night, she enlists the housekeeper Rebecca Dew to help her bury the jar in the garden by moonlight. When she details this to Gilbert in a letter, she opens with 'Please, Gilbert, let us never, ever have pumpkin preserves in our House of Dreams!'
!! Anne of Windy Poplars / Willows
* Anne's love-to-hate relationship with pumpkin preserves. When she's first invited out to dinner by a local family, they serve pumpkin preserves, and Anne, who's never had it before, finds it delicious and raves about it to her hosts. However, as she's invited to dinner by all the prominent local families in turn, every single one of them serves pumpkin preserves, because they've been told that Anne loves it. Anne quickly becomes very, very tired of the dish, but etiquette demands she eat it every time. It gets to the point where she's especially looking forward to dining with one family because she knows they hate pumpkin in all it's forms. When she gets there? They've asked the neighbors to provide some pumpkin preserves, especially for Anne, including a large jar to take home. Later that night, she enlists the housekeeper Rebecca Dew to help her bury the jar in the garden by moonlight. When she details this to Gilbert in a letter, she opens with 'Please, Gilbert, let us never, ever have pumpkin preserves in our House of Dreams!'
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* Anne's comment to Marilla that, "If you went to your own room at midnight, locked the door, pulled down the blind, and ''sneezed'', [[NosyNeighbor Mrs. Lynde]] would ask you the next day how your cold was!"
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* Anne tries to dye her hair raven black. It ends up green.
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* Anne tries to dye her hair raven black. [[MyHairCameOutGreen It ends up green.green]].
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** Colleen Dewhurst's reaction to this in the film is priceless. She asks how hard Anne smashed the slate and [[ActuallyPrettyFunny smirks when Anne replies "very hard, I'm afraid]]."
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--> "I thought nothing could be as bad as red hair. It turns out green is ten times worse."
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** The fact that Mrs. Lynde doesn't notice this...but Marilla does. She also realizes Anne's enjoying it, and yet figures she can hardly scold her for apologizing "too well".
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* Anne accidentally getting Diana drunk. Though the consequences aren't funny, the event itself is. What she thought was raspberry cordial turned out to be currant wine, [[UnsuspectinglySoused and Diana drank three tumblerfuls of it]].Note that homemade wine back then was much more potent than we would assume today, as they had no way of regulating the alcohol content...
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* Anne accidentally getting Diana drunk. Though the consequences aren't funny, the event itself is. What she thought was raspberry cordial turned out to be currant wine, [[UnsuspectinglySoused and Diana drank three tumblerfuls of it]]. Note that homemade wine back then was much more potent than we would assume today, as they had no way of regulating the alcohol content...
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* Anne accidentally getting Diana drunk. Though the consequences aren't funny, the event itself is. What she thought was raspberry cordial turned out to be currant wine, [[UnsuspectinglySoused and Diana drank three tumblerfuls of it]].
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* Anne accidentally getting Diana drunk. Though the consequences aren't funny, the event itself is. What she thought was raspberry cordial turned out to be currant wine, [[UnsuspectinglySoused and Diana drank three tumblerfuls of it]].Note that homemade wine back then was much more potent than we would assume today, as they had no way of regulating the alcohol content...
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* Anne's first attempt at praying. And remember that the book was published in 1908, where this kind of humor about religion was a lot more shocking.
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* Anne's first attempt at praying. And remember that the book was published in 1908, where when this kind of humor about religion was a lot more shocking.
* Anne's BackhandedApology to Mrs. Lynde, making sure to slip in that all the insults she's apologizing for were true, but she still shouldn't have said them.
* Anne's BackhandedApology to Mrs. Lynde, making sure to slip in that all the insults she's apologizing for were true, but she still shouldn't have said them.
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* Anne's first attempt at praying. And remember that the book was published in 1908, where this kind of humor about religion was a lot more shocking.
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* Anne, Marilla and Diana all put a spoonful of sugar in the pot of peas because each was afraid the others would forget about it. They only discover the truth when Anne tastes the peas. The narration goes on to note (paraphrased), "There were no peas at dinner that day."
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* Whiskers-On-The-Moon gives an anti-war prayer at a prayer meeting organised to pray for the soldiers. Norman Douglas objects.
--> "You blatant beast!"—shake—"You malignant carrion"—shake—"You pig-headed varmint!"—shake—"you putrid pup"—shake—"you pestilential parasite"—shake—"you—Hunnish scum"—shake—"you indecent reptile—you—you—" Norman choked for a moment. Everybody believed that the next thing he would say, church or no church, would be something that would have to be spelt with asterisks; but at that moment Norman encountered his wife's eye and he fell back with a thud on Holy Writ. "You whited sepulchre!" he bellowed, with a final shake, and cast Whiskers-on-the-moon from him with a vigour which impelled that unhappy pacifist to the very verge of the choir entrance door.
--> "You blatant beast!"—shake—"You malignant carrion"—shake—"You pig-headed varmint!"—shake—"you putrid pup"—shake—"you pestilential parasite"—shake—"you—Hunnish scum"—shake—"you indecent reptile—you—you—" Norman choked for a moment. Everybody believed that the next thing he would say, church or no church, would be something that would have to be spelt with asterisks; but at that moment Norman encountered his wife's eye and he fell back with a thud on Holy Writ. "You whited sepulchre!" he bellowed, with a final shake, and cast Whiskers-on-the-moon from him with a vigour which impelled that unhappy pacifist to the very verge of the choir entrance door.
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* Whiskers-On-The-Moon gives an anti-war prayer at a prayer meeting organised to pray for the soldiers. Norman Douglas objects.
objects: he gets up and shakes Whiskers-On-The-Moon.
--> "You blatant beast!"—shake—"You malignant carrion"—shake—"You pig-headed varmint!"—shake—"you putrid pup"—shake—"you pestilential parasite"—shake—"you—Hunnish scum"—shake—"you indecent reptile—you—you—" Norman choked for a moment. Everybody believed that the next thing he would say, church or no church, would be something that would have to be [[NarrativeProfanityFilter spelt withasterisks; asterisks]]; but at that moment Norman encountered his wife's eye and he fell back with a thud on Holy Writ. "You whited sepulchre!" he bellowed, with a final shake, and cast Whiskers-on-the-moon from him with a vigour which impelled that unhappy pacifist to the very verge of the choir entrance door.
--> "You blatant beast!"—shake—"You malignant carrion"—shake—"You pig-headed varmint!"—shake—"you putrid pup"—shake—"you pestilential parasite"—shake—"you—Hunnish scum"—shake—"you indecent reptile—you—you—" Norman choked for a moment. Everybody believed that the next thing he would say, church or no church, would be something that would have to be [[NarrativeProfanityFilter spelt with
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!! Rilla of Ingleside
* Miranda and Joe's wedding. Miranda's father, Mr. Pryor [=AKA=] Whiskers-On-The-Moon, doesn't want Miranda to marry Joe because Joe's a soldier and Whiskers is a pacifist, so Rilla organises their wedding at Ingleside. The wedding is eventful; during the ceremony Miranda's dog has a fit, and at the reception Joe's mother sits on a pie!
** During the preparations for the wedding, Rilla asks Susan to make a wedding cake... ''before'' telling her about the wedding.
--> "A wedding-cake!" Susan stared. Rilla had, without any warning, brought her a war-baby once upon a time. Was she now, with equal suddenness, going to produce a husband?
* Whiskers-On-The-Moon gives an anti-war prayer at a prayer meeting organised to pray for the soldiers. Norman Douglas objects.
--> "You blatant beast!"—shake—"You malignant carrion"—shake—"You pig-headed varmint!"—shake—"you putrid pup"—shake—"you pestilential parasite"—shake—"you—Hunnish scum"—shake—"you indecent reptile—you—you—" Norman choked for a moment. Everybody believed that the next thing he would say, church or no church, would be something that would have to be spelt with asterisks; but at that moment Norman encountered his wife's eye and he fell back with a thud on Holy Writ. "You whited sepulchre!" he bellowed, with a final shake, and cast Whiskers-on-the-moon from him with a vigour which impelled that unhappy pacifist to the very verge of the choir entrance door.
** Gilbert's reaction to this.
--> "...Norman's performance was utterly improper and scandalous and outrageous; but, by George,"—the doctor threw back his head and chuckled, "by George, Anne-girl, it was ''satisfying''."
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisproportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair. The line in the book clarifies that it was the slate that cracked, and not Gilbert's head.
* Anne tries to dye her hair Raven black. It ends up green.
* Anne tries to dye her hair Raven black. It ends up green.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisproportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair. The line in the book clarifies feels the need to clarify that it was the slate that cracked, and not Gilbert's head.
* Anne tries to dye her hairRaven raven black. It ends up green.
* Anne tries to dye her hair
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!! Anne of Windy Poplars
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* Anne makes a cake for a guest, but accidentally uses muscle linement instead of vanilla extract. Anne had a cold and couldn't smell the difference.
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* Anne tries to dye her hair Raven black. It ends up green.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisproportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisproportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair. The line in the book clarifies that it was the slate that cracked, and not Gilbert's head.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisportionateRetribution DisproportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair.
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* Anne smashing the slate over Gilbert's head in DisportionateRetribution for a comment about her hair.
* Anne and her friends acting out "The Lady of Shallot." It all goes well until the boat sinks...
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* The girls of Patty's Place trying to murder a cat. Though it is horrifying to see them act so casual about ending Rusty's life, the girls' reactions to Rusty's survival are pretty funny.
!! Anne of Wind Poplars
!! Anne of Wind Poplars
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* The girls of Patty's Place trying to murder humanely chloroform a cat. Though stray cat, by sealing it is horrifying in a wooden box... which they totally forget to see them act so casual about ending Rusty's life, check for knotholes.
-->"Why in thegirls' reactions world don't you come?" demanded Stella, appearing in the doorway. "We've got the grave all ready. What, 'silent still and silent all?' she quoted teasingly.
-->"'Oh no, the voices of the dead/Sound like the distant torrent's fall,'" promptly counter-quoted Anne, pointing solemnly toRusty's survival are pretty funny.
the box.
!! Anne ofWind Windy Poplars
-->"Why in the
-->"'Oh no, the voices of the dead/Sound like the distant torrent's fall,'" promptly counter-quoted Anne, pointing solemnly to
!! Anne of
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* Mr. Harrison, Anne's new neighbour, tells her to stop letting her cow get into his garden. Shortly afterwards, Anne sees a cow that looks just like hers in his field, thinks her cow has escaped again, and goes to chase it. Then she sells it to Mr. Shearer, and only later discovers the cow she sold was actually ''Mr. Harrison's cow''.
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* Mr. Harrison, Anne's irascible new neighbour, tells her to stop letting her cow get into his garden. Shortly afterwards, Anne sees a cow that looks just like hers in his field, thinks her cow has escaped again, and goes to chase it. Then By the time she sells catches the cow, she's so thoroughly out of sorts that she promptly takes the opportunity to sell it to Mr. Shearer, and only later discovers Shearer on the spot. Only afterward does she discover that her cow is right where it was supposed to be - the cow she sold was actually ''Mr. Harrison's cow''.
own cow''. Fortunately, Harrison takes this all with reasonably good grace when Anne goes to explain and apologize.
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!! Anne of Wind Poplars
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!! Anne of Wind PoplarsPoplars
----
----
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!! Anne of Green Gables
!! Anne of Avonlea
!! Anne of the Island
* The girls of Patty's Place trying to murder a cat. Though it is horrifying to see them act so casual about ending Rusty's life, the girls' reactions to Rusty's survival are pretty funny.
!! Anne of Wind Poplars
!! Anne of Avonlea
!! Anne of the Island
* The girls of Patty's Place trying to murder a cat. Though it is horrifying to see them act so casual about ending Rusty's life, the girls' reactions to Rusty's survival are pretty funny.
!! Anne of Wind Poplars
