History Funny / AlpacaHawk

''(Yoda tries to Force shove Palpatine, but nothing happens while Palpatine has the biggest shit-eating smile on his face. After a {{beat}}, he [[EpicFail tries again a few more times with the same result
]], before Palpatine shoots another million-or-so volts at Yoda)''

'''Yoda:''' NO. Disturbing is this move by the Council.\\

''(Yoda tries to Force shove Palpatine, but nothing happens while Palpatine has the biggest shit-eating smile on his face. After a {{beat}}, he tries again a few more times with the same result, before Palpatine shoots another million-or-so volts at Yoda)''

** "Go to outer space with SandraBullock" (while a clip from [[Film/Gravity]] plays in the background)

**

'''Lord Kelvin:''' ''(mockingly)'' The Queen?! Oooooooohhh-Oooooooohh-'''OOOOOOOOHH'''--''([[RightBehindMe with Queen Victoria right behind him]])'' The only way she can stop me is if she sent a big fat cow on me! ''(laughs haughtily)''\\
''([[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor a big fat cow falls on Lord Kelvin]])''\\

--->'''Prince Hapi:''' Nooooo-ooooon! [...] Please, anything but my statue of [[Film/KindergartenCop Detective John Kimble]]!\\

**
--->'''Captain:''' I'm sorry to say we've drank the last of the Coca-Cola. (bleep)
** The ship burning 375 birds for fuel, after running out of coal. After depleting the birds, the captain suggests this.

**

'''Lord Kelvin:''' This is [[{{Videogame/Portal}} Aperture Science]]! [[KangarooCourt We don't need to prove anything!]]

** Haako the snitch:

** Yoda bids a tearful farewell to [[Film/TheAvengers2012 the Avengers]].

'''Darth Sand:''' ''[[AffablyEvil (relents)]]'' Alright, but you owe me one.

'''Phileas:''' [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment All of you wear the rubber underpants]]!\\

'''Phileas:''' No.

'''Lord Kelvin:''' This is [[{{Videogame/Portal}} Aperture Science]]! We don't need to prove anything!

--->'''Prince Hapi:''' Nooooo-ooooon! Please, anything but my statue of [[Film/KindergartenCop Detective John Kimble]]!\\

'''Prince Hapi:''' [[FauxHorrific Nooooo!]]

---> '''Youngling-''' Master Skywalker, there are two of them. What are we going to do? ''(Anakin stares at him)'' Master Skywalker! ''(Anakin still stares)'' Master, ''master'', '''''[-master-]'''''...\\

''([[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome The ship crash-lands on the runway, buzzing said tower in the process]]. Johnson spills coffee onto his uniform as not only the ship passes by, but also destroys the tower.)'' \\

'''Windu:''' '''No.''' (Palpatine stands up) Take a seat, chancellor.\\
'''Palpatine:''' (goes to sit down...) '''NO.''' (summons his lightsaber.)\\

'''Palpatine:''' So get some more guys and it'll be an even fight. [[RunningGag (ignites his bright red blade at a short length)]]\\

'''Palpatine:''' (jumps at the Jedi with [[SensoryAbuse a ragingly loud scream.]])\\
'''Windu:''' I hate Jumpers. ''(scene freezes on Windu's glaring face, cutting away occasionally to Palps iciing Kolar, Tiin and Fisto.)''

** Anakin becomes the titular Darth Sand:

'''Palpatine:''' [[LargeHam Gooooooooooooooooooooodddddd!!]] \\

'''[[DeadpanSnarker Commander Cody]]:''' Come on, when have I ever let you down?

---> '''Youngling''': Master Skywalker, there are two of them. What are we going to do? (''Anakin stares at him'') Master Skywalker! (''Anakin still stares'') Master, ''master'', '''''master'''''...\\
'''Anakin''': [[CallBack I am not a master.]] That's insulting! (''wields his lightsaber, [[BlackScreenOfDeath screen turns black with lightsaber noises]] before showing a group of dead younglings'') Not [[NoodleIncident again]]! Obi-Wan's gonna kill me!
** The glorious return of General Grievous:

(Yoda blankly stares at Obi-Wan)

'''Darth Sand:''' (relents) Alright, but you owe me one.
** However, Nute Gunray is not spared. Not that death bothers him so much as red tape:
--->'''Nute Gunray:''' (flinches as Darth Sand lands in front of him) This is getting out of hand! [[SkewedPriorities Is this legal?]] (Sand cuts him down) This is impossible!
** "If into the security recordings you go, only [[ShapedLikeItself security recordings will you find.]]"
** As Padme tries to stop Anakin and claims she now only loves Obi-Wan:

'''Anakin:''' LIAR! [[CrossesTheLineTwice I am breaking your neck!]]\\

(scene cuts to Yoda and Palpatine's confrontation)

'''Obi-Wan:''' [[VillainHasAPoint Oh dear]], [[HypocrisyNod you're right]]. \\

''(Palpatine raises his lightsaber. Yoda jumps up to attack...[[BaitAndSwitch and Palpatine zaps him again]].)''
** After the OverlyLongGag of "You turned her against me!" and "You have done that yourself!", Anakin [[BrokenRecord continues to insist that Obi-Wan turned Padmé against him]] during their duel. At which point Obi-Wan sounds less like a heartbroken master and more like an annoyed dad:

''(Yoda tries to Force shove Palpatine, but nothing happens while Palpatine has the biggest shit-eating smile on his face. After a {{beat}}, he tries again a few more times with the same result, before Palpatine shoots another million-or-so volts at Yoda.)''
** Gunray is NotQuiteDead and is at least alive long enough to notice the fight going on between the Jedi Master and his tragic pupil:

''(Obi-Wan ignites his lightsaber, and Anakin does the same. Anakin jumps up and backflips...[[EpicFail and overshoots Obi-Wan, hurling over the platform edge and into the lava]].)''

** After the OverlyLongGag of "You turned her against me!" and "You have done that yourself!", Anakin [[BrokenRecord continues to insist that Obi-Wan turned Padme against him]] during their duel. At which point Obi-Wan sounds less like a heartbroken master and more like an annoyed dad:

'''Anakin:''' ''Liar!''\\
\\