History Funny / AgentsofSHIELD

* At the end, Mack's brother asks if "Alfie" is really a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.
-->'''Daisy:''' Yeah, he's one of our best--wait, did you just call him ''Alfie?'' Wow. Thank you... so, so much for that. I am really looking forward to him recovering now.

* Regardless of who tries physically stop Enoch from interfering, it ''always'' cuts to them lying defeated on the floor. Not even ''the entire team'' (sans Yo-Yo, who was probably still trapped) is a match for him.

* Sousa and Mack cracking up at how much of an AtrociousAlias "Quake" actually is.

-->'''Enoch:''' I'm a speck of dust in the infinite. An afterthought in the worm-ridden mind of the black void.

'''Coulson''': To be fair, you were the one killed so that makes you less of a suspect.

* Regardless of who tries physically stop Enoch from interfering, it ''always'' cuts to them lying defeated on the floor. Not even ''the entire team'' is a match for him.
* The team's casual acceptance of death in the time loop.
-->'''May''': Deke's dead?\\
'''Daisy''': Very.\\

'''Coulson:''' Yeah, I know. [[RuleOfCool Sometimes I just can't help myself with the cool]].

* Before getting his big confrontation with Mallick, Coulson has to sit through a few seconds on hold with relaxing muzak.

'''Daisy''': We do not.\\
* Jenna too of her being murdered by someone.
-->'''Jenna''': And you think it was one of us?
-->'''Coulson''': To be fair, you were the one killed so that makes you less of a suspect.

-->'''May''': This is literally my worst nightmare.
-->'''Yo-Yo''': Finally, we agree on something.

-->'''May''': Is that whisky? If so I want a lot of it.

-->'''May''': If physically contact will help, I have an idea.
-->'''Yo-Yo''': Please tell me we're not gonna spoon.
* Enoch continues to be TheComicallySerious
** (While figuring out how to disable Time Drive)
-->'''Deke''': Electricity's dangerous.
-->'''Sousa''': Do I look like a Neanderthal to you?
-->'''Enoch''': I spent time with a tribe of Neanderthals. Agent Sousa does not resemble one. He lacks the characteristic brow ridges.
-->'''Sousa''': (beat) Can we just push the button, please?

-->'''Deke''': Electricity's dangerous

* In trying to impress Mack, Deke and his squad go through a run of "The Gauntlet", with less then stellar results. It starts off relatively well with Roxy and Olga, but it goes downhill once the Chang Gang arrived. To sum it up - Ronnie is shot, as he falls down he manages to shoot Roxy. Then Olga detonates the bomb she placed, which happened to be a live explosive. Then Cricket shows up (from a coke binging session) and wonders if they were shooting a video.

-->'''Simmons:''' ''(holds up three fingers)'' How many fingers am I holding up? No! You're wrong!
-->'''Scientist #1:''' You didn't give me a chance-
-->'''Simmons:''' ''(holds up two fingers)'' It was two! Thank you. ''(shoos him away)''

-->'''Coulson:''' ''(removes glasses)'' Creator/JohnWayne. ...Bit overrated, don't you think? I mean, you're rugged, you're on a horse, who cares!
-->'''Agent:''' [[BerserkButton Who cares?]] [[SeriousBusiness Who cares about John Wayne.]] ''[[{{Eagleland}} America]]'' [[PatrioticFervor cares]].

-->'''Simmons:''' She couldn't stay with Rick! She ''had'' to go with Victor... Haven't you ever made a sacrifice for someone you love?
-->'''Scientist #2:''' ''(starts crying)'' ...Yes.
-->'''Coulson:''' Oh...ok....

-->'''Coulson:''' How does it make you feel when I say the word...''moist?'' Moist.
-->'''Scientist #3:''' Please...please stop.
-->'''Coulson:''' ''Mooooooist.''
-->'''Scientist #3:''' ''(winces away in disgust)''
-->'''Simmons:''' Yeah, you're good.

* In an effort to preserve the timeline, Deke and Mack leave Sharpe out in the desert in a Quintjet and pretend to be aliens. Mack warns him the next time they run into him, he would get [[AnalProbing "probed"]]. The look on Mack's face before he said that is priceless (especially because Deke most likely put him up into saying it).
* Mack, Yo-Yo,and May trying to interrogate Sharpe only to be foiled by his NervesOfSteel... and copious amounts of racism. Eventually they end up sending Deke in.

-->'''Enoch:''' [[Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay Come with me if]] [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness you want to continue to exist!]]

-->'''Enoch:''' Come with me if you want to continue to exist!

* Enoch makes a timely appearance saving the team and puts his own spin on a one-liner that [[Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay another human looking robot made famous.]]
-->'''Enoch:''' Come with me if you want to continue to exist.

* Usually the team gets decade-appropriate clothing for their current situation. Sousa retains his suit because he wonders how people could wear "elephant pants" (referring to bell-bottoms)

* May acting all giddy because she's drunk

* Enoch makes a timely appearance saving the team and puts his own spin on a one-liner that [[Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay a fellow human looking robot made famous.]]