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Up To Eleven is a defunct trope
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in ''Apocalypse State of Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
to:
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in ''Apocalypse State of Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
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Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:While We Fall]]
to:
[[folder:While We Fall]]Fall (Rewrite)]]
* ''The Girl Friday'', when Sarah and Pietro are discussing her Aura Strength.
--> '''Pietro:''' Medical Aurometer, box on the shelf marked 'Kitchen Stuff', will you?\\
'''Sarah:''' Kitchen stuff?\\
'''Pietro:''' Recyclin's important.\\
* ''The Huntress'', where Robyn shows up first, and then midway through her conversation with Sarah, she reveals that she was just chatting Sarah up to distract her. [[AmusingInjuries Cue May turning visible and tripping her with her staff.]]
** While some of the flashbacks in this chapter are bleak and depressing, there's an offhanded moment where Sarah's eating '[[BizarreTasteInFood ice cream and pickles]]', and this isn't elaborated on. Probably for the best.
* ''The Pretender'', the actual duel between Sarah and May takes place. There's quite a few fleeting funny moments here.
** When Sarah discusses her earlier ''[[PowerIncontinence mishaps]]'' while trying to raise her Aura:
---> '''Sarah:''' I exploded. [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twice.]]
** May and Sarah engaging in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
---> '''Sarah:''' How about a tip?\\
'''May:''' I get paid by the hour.
** May demonstrating the concept of enervation. ''[[TrainingFromHell On]]'' Sarah.
---> '''May:''' Enervation is something you really need to experience for yourself.\\
'''Sarah:''' Think you just enjoy hurting me.\\
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' [[ItAmusedMe Maybe a little.]]
* ''Jackals of Time'', during the FlashForward sequence, there's an EarlyBirdCameo of another [=AI=] implied to belong to Louve Hyacinth, (of ''Apocalypse State of Mind'') and also seemingly ''intimate'' with [=Au.R.A.=]. She's... [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold interesting,]] [[AIIsACrapshoot and implied to be a former antagonist.]]
--> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Remind me why I'm linked with you again?\\
'''[=ARIA=]''': [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
** During [[TheCameo Ozma's cameo]] later on in the chapter, he reflects on his LimitedWardrobe.
---> '''Ozma:''' So, what identical green suit shall we wear today? I'd put it to a vote, but ah, it's not as if it really matters.
* ''Boiler's Edge'', for all the depressed ''whining'' in Sarah's narration and the BigFirstChoice she's deciding to ''finally'' take after spending the entire story as TheDitherer, still has some funny moments.
** The chapter starts off with Sarah completely sloshed, and after the initial whining, she [[MoodSwinger quickly turns into a giggling idiot]] [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak giddy at the idea of wearing a maid uniform,]] specifically because of the corset and frills.
---> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Analysis indicates you have consumed sixteen ounces of an eighty-nine-percent alcohol content intoxicant. You are, I believe, '''black-out''' drunk. Most would not be able to stand as intoxicated as you are. \\
'''Sarah''': Ah'm standin'?\\
'''[=Au.R.A.=]''': In a strictly '''technical''' sense, yes.
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in ''Apocalypse State of Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
---> '''Pietro''': "Also, what in the name of the Brothers are you makin'? Smells Vacuan." \\
'''Sarah''': ''[[MasochistsMeal Delicious pain.]]''
* ''Liar's Gambit'' continues the Tagwood gag with Sarah somehow completely BreakingTheFourthWall, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment before promptly forgetting about it entirely and putting the beans aside.]]
** There's another moment in her narration poking fun at the Author's habit of pointless worldbuilding, after a brief reflection on Mistrali airships somehow not being able to reach Atlas' airport.
---> ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap What kind of nerd would put all this effort into making the world bigger and not put vampires in somewhere.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:While We Fall (Original Version)]]
* ''The Girl Friday'', when Sarah and Pietro are discussing her Aura Strength.
--> '''Pietro:''' Medical Aurometer, box on the shelf marked 'Kitchen Stuff', will you?\\
'''Sarah:''' Kitchen stuff?\\
'''Pietro:''' Recyclin's important.\\
* ''The Huntress'', where Robyn shows up first, and then midway through her conversation with Sarah, she reveals that she was just chatting Sarah up to distract her. [[AmusingInjuries Cue May turning visible and tripping her with her staff.]]
** While some of the flashbacks in this chapter are bleak and depressing, there's an offhanded moment where Sarah's eating '[[BizarreTasteInFood ice cream and pickles]]', and this isn't elaborated on. Probably for the best.
* ''The Pretender'', the actual duel between Sarah and May takes place. There's quite a few fleeting funny moments here.
** When Sarah discusses her earlier ''[[PowerIncontinence mishaps]]'' while trying to raise her Aura:
---> '''Sarah:''' I exploded. [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twice.]]
** May and Sarah engaging in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
---> '''Sarah:''' How about a tip?\\
'''May:''' I get paid by the hour.
** May demonstrating the concept of enervation. ''[[TrainingFromHell On]]'' Sarah.
---> '''May:''' Enervation is something you really need to experience for yourself.\\
'''Sarah:''' Think you just enjoy hurting me.\\
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' [[ItAmusedMe Maybe a little.]]
* ''Jackals of Time'', during the FlashForward sequence, there's an EarlyBirdCameo of another [=AI=] implied to belong to Louve Hyacinth, (of ''Apocalypse State of Mind'') and also seemingly ''intimate'' with [=Au.R.A.=]. She's... [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold interesting,]] [[AIIsACrapshoot and implied to be a former antagonist.]]
--> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Remind me why I'm linked with you again?\\
'''[=ARIA=]''': [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
** During [[TheCameo Ozma's cameo]] later on in the chapter, he reflects on his LimitedWardrobe.
---> '''Ozma:''' So, what identical green suit shall we wear today? I'd put it to a vote, but ah, it's not as if it really matters.
* ''Boiler's Edge'', for all the depressed ''whining'' in Sarah's narration and the BigFirstChoice she's deciding to ''finally'' take after spending the entire story as TheDitherer, still has some funny moments.
** The chapter starts off with Sarah completely sloshed, and after the initial whining, she [[MoodSwinger quickly turns into a giggling idiot]] [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak giddy at the idea of wearing a maid uniform,]] specifically because of the corset and frills.
---> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Analysis indicates you have consumed sixteen ounces of an eighty-nine-percent alcohol content intoxicant. You are, I believe, '''black-out''' drunk. Most would not be able to stand as intoxicated as you are. \\
'''Sarah''': Ah'm standin'?\\
'''[=Au.R.A.=]''': In a strictly '''technical''' sense, yes.
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in ''Apocalypse State of Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
---> '''Pietro''': "Also, what in the name of the Brothers are you makin'? Smells Vacuan." \\
'''Sarah''': ''[[MasochistsMeal Delicious pain.]]''
* ''Liar's Gambit'' continues the Tagwood gag with Sarah somehow completely BreakingTheFourthWall, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment before promptly forgetting about it entirely and putting the beans aside.]]
** There's another moment in her narration poking fun at the Author's habit of pointless worldbuilding, after a brief reflection on Mistrali airships somehow not being able to reach Atlas' airport.
---> ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap What kind of nerd would put all this effort into making the world bigger and not put vampires in somewhere.]]''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:While We Fall (Original Version)]]
Deleted line(s) 89,124 (click to see context) :
* Chapter 21, when Sarah and Pietro are discussing her Aura Strength.
--> '''Pietro:''' Medical Aurometer, box on the shelf marked 'Kitchen Stuff', will you?\\
'''Sarah:''' Kitchen stuff?\\
'''Pietro:''' Recyclin's important.\\
* Chapter 22, where Robyn shows up first, and then midway through her conversation with Sarah, she reveals that she was just chatting Sarah up to distract her. [[AmusingInjuries Cue May turning visible and tripping her with her staff.]]
** While some of the flashbacks in this chapter are bleak and depressing, there's an offhanded moment where Sarah's eating '[[BizarreTasteInFood ice cream and pickles]]', and this isn't elaborated on. Probably for the best.
* Chapter 23, the actual duel between Sarah and May takes place. There's quite a few fleeting funny moments here.
** When Sarah discusses her earlier ''[[PowerIncontinence mishaps]]'' while trying to raise her Aura:
---> '''Sarah:''' I exploded. [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twice.]]
** May and Sarah engaging in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
---> '''Sarah:''' How about a tip?\\
'''May:''' I get paid by the hour.
** May demonstrating the concept of enervation. ''[[TrainingFromHell On]]'' Sarah.
---> '''May:''' Enervation is something you really need to experience for yourself.\\
'''Sarah:''' Think you just enjoy hurting me.\\
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' [[ItAmusedMe Maybe a little.]]
* Chapter 25, during the FlashForward sequence, there's an EarlyBirdCameo of another [=AI=] implied to belong to Louve Hyacinth, (of ''Apocalypse State of Mind'') and also seemingly ''intimate'' with [=Au.R.A.=]. She's... [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold interesting,]] [[AIIsACrapshoot and implied to be a former antagonist.]]
--> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Remind me why I'm linked with you again?\\
'''[=ARIA=]''': [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
** During [[TheCameo Ozma's cameo]] later on in the chapter, he reflects on his LimitedWardrobe.
---> '''Ozma:''' So, what identical green suit shall we wear today? I'd put it to a vote, but ah, it's not as if it really matters.
* Chapter 26, for all the depressed ''whining'' in Sarah's narration and the BigFirstChoice she's deciding to ''finally'' take after spending the entire story as TheDitherer, still has some funny moments.
** The chapter starts off with Sarah completely sloshed, and after the initial whining, she [[MoodSwinger quickly turns into a giggling idiot]] [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak giddy at the idea of wearing a maid uniform,]] specifically because of the corset and frills.
---> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Analysis indicates you have consumed sixteen ounces of an eighty-nine-percent alcohol content intoxicant. You are, I believe, '''black-out''' drunk. Most would not be able to stand as intoxicated as you are. \\
'''Sarah''': Ah'm standin'?\\
'''[=Au.R.A.=]''': In a strictly '''technical''' sense, yes.
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in ''Apocalypse State of Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
---> '''Pietro''': "Also, what in the name of the Brothers are you makin'? Smells Vacuan." \\
'''Sarah''': ''[[MasochistsMeal Delicious pain.]]''
* Chapter 27 continues the Tagwood gag with Sarah somehow completely BreakingTheFourthWall, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment before promptly forgetting about it entirely and putting the beans aside.]]
** There's another moment in her narration poking fun at the Author's habit of pointless worldbuilding, after a brief reflection on Mistrali airships somehow not being able to reach Atlas' airport.
---> ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap What kind of nerd would put all this effort into making the world bigger and not put vampires in somewhere.]]''
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None
Added DiffLines:
* Chapter 27 continues the Tagwood gag with Sarah somehow completely BreakingTheFourthWall, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment before promptly forgetting about it entirely and putting the beans aside.]]
** There's another moment in her narration poking fun at the Author's habit of pointless worldbuilding, after a brief reflection on Mistrali airships somehow not being able to reach Atlas' airport.
---> ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap What kind of nerd would put all this effort into making the world bigger and not put vampires in somewhere.]]''
** There's another moment in her narration poking fun at the Author's habit of pointless worldbuilding, after a brief reflection on Mistrali airships somehow not being able to reach Atlas' airport.
---> ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap What kind of nerd would put all this effort into making the world bigger and not put vampires in somewhere.]]''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 119 (click to see context) from:
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in '''Apocalypse State of Mind''' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance... [[UnaffectedBySpice as some mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
to:
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in '''Apocalypse ''Apocalypse State of Mind''' Mind'' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance... [[UnaffectedBySpice re-appearance as some [[CordonBleughChef raw mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
Changed line(s) 121 (click to see context) from:
'''Sarah''': ''Delicious pain.''
to:
'''Sarah''': ''Delicious ''[[MasochistsMeal Delicious pain.'']]''
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* Chapter 26, for all the depressed ''whining'' in Sarah's narration and the BigFirstChoice she's deciding to ''finally'' take after spending the entire story as TheDitherer, still has some funny moments.
** The chapter starts off with Sarah completely sloshed, and after the initial whining, she [[MoodSwinger quickly turns into a giggling idiot]] [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak giddy at the idea of wearing a maid uniform,]] specifically because of the corset and frills.
---> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Analysis indicates you have consumed sixteen ounces of an eighty-nine-percent alcohol content intoxicant. You are, I believe, '''black-out''' drunk. Most would not be able to stand as intoxicated as you are. \\
'''Sarah''': Ah'm standin'?\\
'''[=Au.R.A.=]''': In a strictly '''technical''' sense, yes.
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in '''Apocalypse State of Mind''' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance... [[UnaffectedBySpice as some mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
---> '''Pietro''': "Also, what in the name of the Brothers are you makin'? Smells Vacuan." \\
'''Sarah''': ''Delicious pain.''
** The chapter starts off with Sarah completely sloshed, and after the initial whining, she [[MoodSwinger quickly turns into a giggling idiot]] [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak giddy at the idea of wearing a maid uniform,]] specifically because of the corset and frills.
---> '''[=Au.R.A.=]''': Analysis indicates you have consumed sixteen ounces of an eighty-nine-percent alcohol content intoxicant. You are, I believe, '''black-out''' drunk. Most would not be able to stand as intoxicated as you are. \\
'''Sarah''': Ah'm standin'?\\
'''[=Au.R.A.=]''': In a strictly '''technical''' sense, yes.
** Tagwood Beans (originally introduced in '''Apocalypse State of Mind''' [[ContinuityNod as part of Louve's favorite meals]]) make a re-appearance... [[UnaffectedBySpice as some mashed bean snack]] Sarah's making. [[UpToEleven That she promptly combines with even more spice.]]
---> '''Pietro''': "Also, what in the name of the Brothers are you makin'? Smells Vacuan." \\
'''Sarah''': ''Delicious pain.''
Added DiffLines:
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Changed line(s) 110,111 (click to see context) from:
--> [=Au.R.A.=]: Remind me why I'm linked with you again?\\
[=ARIA=]: [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
[=ARIA=]: [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
to:
--> [=Au.'''[=Au.R.A.=]: =]''': Remind me why I'm linked with you again?\\
[=ARIA=]: '''[=ARIA=]''': [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
--> [=Au.R.A.=]: Remind me why I'm linked with you again?
to:
--> [=Au.R.A.=]: Remind me why I'm linked with you again?again?\\
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Added DiffLines:
* Chapter 25, during the FlashForward sequence, there's an EarlyBirdCameo of another [=AI=] implied to belong to Louve Hyacinth, (of ''Apocalypse State of Mind'') and also seemingly ''intimate'' with [=Au.R.A.=]. She's... [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold interesting,]] [[AIIsACrapshoot and implied to be a former antagonist.]]
--> [=Au.R.A.=]: Remind me why I'm linked with you again?
[=ARIA=]: [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
** During [[TheCameo Ozma's cameo]] later on in the chapter, he reflects on his LimitedWardrobe.
---> '''Ozma:''' So, what identical green suit shall we wear today? I'd put it to a vote, but ah, it's not as if it really matters.
--> [=Au.R.A.=]: Remind me why I'm linked with you again?
[=ARIA=]: [[DoubleEntendre My vast databanks, thick with juicy otherworldly science for you to swallow down.]]
** During [[TheCameo Ozma's cameo]] later on in the chapter, he reflects on his LimitedWardrobe.
---> '''Ozma:''' So, what identical green suit shall we wear today? I'd put it to a vote, but ah, it's not as if it really matters.
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None
Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
** When Rubi swings her scythe back without looking, [[RealityEnsues and it gets stuck in a tree]], she [[CasualDangerDialogue casually asks]] the Beowolf for a time-out, citing how they're both wolves.
to:
** When Rubi swings her scythe back without looking, [[RealityEnsues and it gets stuck in a tree]], tree, she [[CasualDangerDialogue casually asks]] the Beowolf for a time-out, citing how they're both wolves.
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Changed line(s) 107,108 (click to see context) from:
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' Maybe a little.
to:
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' [[ItAmusedMe Maybe a little.
little.]]
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Changed line(s) 20,21 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Weiss:''' "What are you even ''doing'' here, anyway?! Aren't you a little ''young'' to be attending Beacon?!" \\
'''Rubi:''' "Are you not a little ''Atlésien'' to be attending Beacon?"
'''Rubi:''' "Are you not a little ''Atlésien'' to be attending Beacon?"
to:
--> '''Weiss:''' "What What are you even ''doing'' here, anyway?! Aren't you a little ''young'' to be attending Beacon?!" Beacon?! \\
'''Rubi:'''"Are Are you not a little ''Atlésien'' to be attending Beacon?" Beacon?
'''Rubi:'''
Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
to:
* The opening of Chapter 14, with Ozma remembering an encounter with a folk hero named "The Night Runner" who introduces herself by more or less doing the ancient equivalent of a ding-dong ditch, appearing at Ozma's own table with an apple stolen from his own food stores. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Then he knocks over a bottle of Rum on accident and sings a sea shanty.]]
** Weiss taking forever in the bathroom, quickly followed by Yang banging on the door to get her to hurry up. Twice.
** There's a mention of Weiss searching for a "[[AppliedPhlebotinum standard-issue Atlesian Trans Girl Gravity Dust Epilator]]", only for it to be clarified that she's actually looking for a safety razor, [[SelfDeprecation poking fun]] at the author's emphasis on [[TechnologyPorn technological worldbuilding]].
** There's another brief cameo from Louve Hyacinth where she's crashing through a tree, while Glynda and Ozpin are discussing the morality of the Huntsman Academies.
---> '''Ozpin:''' Seems our scruffy newcomer was less than prepared.
** Weiss and Rubi meeting for the first time in the forest, at which point there's a TakeThat against the Atlesian Military.
---> Rubi blinked. Weiss blinked. Rubi flashed a toothy grin. Weiss did her best impression of an Atlesian soldier by pivoting in place and marching in the other direction. Y'know, romantic things.
** Rubi calling ''Myrtenaster'' a 'little knife', followed by a little more rambling narration mentioning Weiss coming across ''Blake'' after trying to walk away from Rubi, and deciding that she was the lesser of two evils. Then there's this gem:
---> [[LampshadeHanging Though this narration]] [[LemonyNarrator wandered a bit]], the moral of the story is that [[SelfDeprecation the gods are lunatics that ship Whiterose]].
** Yang and Blake meeting for the first time, as well with a touch of TeasingFromBehindTheLanguageBarrier on both sides, ending with mutual DistractedByTheSexy.
---> '''Yang, in Valois:''' Hey, the book girl! \\
'''Blake, in Hitomari:''' Shit, the idiot.
** When Rubi swings her scythe back without looking, [[RealityEnsues and it gets stuck in a tree]], she [[CasualDangerDialogue casually asks]] the Beowolf for a time-out, citing how they're both wolves.
---> The beowolf only growled lowly, baring its massive, black canines at her, as if to say ''No such mercy, my prey''.
** Weiss taking forever in the bathroom, quickly followed by Yang banging on the door to get her to hurry up. Twice.
** There's a mention of Weiss searching for a "[[AppliedPhlebotinum standard-issue Atlesian Trans Girl Gravity Dust Epilator]]", only for it to be clarified that she's actually looking for a safety razor, [[SelfDeprecation poking fun]] at the author's emphasis on [[TechnologyPorn technological worldbuilding]].
** There's another brief cameo from Louve Hyacinth where she's crashing through a tree, while Glynda and Ozpin are discussing the morality of the Huntsman Academies.
---> '''Ozpin:''' Seems our scruffy newcomer was less than prepared.
** Weiss and Rubi meeting for the first time in the forest, at which point there's a TakeThat against the Atlesian Military.
---> Rubi blinked. Weiss blinked. Rubi flashed a toothy grin. Weiss did her best impression of an Atlesian soldier by pivoting in place and marching in the other direction. Y'know, romantic things.
** Rubi calling ''Myrtenaster'' a 'little knife', followed by a little more rambling narration mentioning Weiss coming across ''Blake'' after trying to walk away from Rubi, and deciding that she was the lesser of two evils. Then there's this gem:
---> [[LampshadeHanging Though this narration]] [[LemonyNarrator wandered a bit]], the moral of the story is that [[SelfDeprecation the gods are lunatics that ship Whiterose]].
** Yang and Blake meeting for the first time, as well with a touch of TeasingFromBehindTheLanguageBarrier on both sides, ending with mutual DistractedByTheSexy.
---> '''Yang, in Valois:''' Hey, the book girl! \\
'''Blake, in Hitomari:''' Shit, the idiot.
** When Rubi swings her scythe back without looking, [[RealityEnsues and it gets stuck in a tree]], she [[CasualDangerDialogue casually asks]] the Beowolf for a time-out, citing how they're both wolves.
---> The beowolf only growled lowly, baring its massive, black canines at her, as if to say ''No such mercy, my prey''.
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acc-indent
Changed line(s) 26,27 (click to see context) from:
--> It was on that day that Blake Belladonna was almost the last bisexual Cardin never saw coming.
to:
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* Firstly, after some chapters are noncanonical 'Joke Endings' usually with memes or obscure references. Chapter 2 references [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Rick and Morty]], for example.
to:
* Firstly, after some chapters are noncanonical 'Joke Endings' or incorrect quotes, usually with memes or obscure references. Chapter 2 references [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Rick and Morty]], for example.
* The Act 1 Interlude is drowning in snark written by an in-universe queer travel writer. After mentioning that if one were to travel to Beacon Academy they should bring a knife, it quickly devolves into pretty explicit self-defense advice.
--> You can stab them in the spine—not like they were using it anyway. Ambush tactics work the best, I find, especially against cocky young fighters drunk off the feeling of their own Aura.\\
If you land a good hit before they crank their Aura up, you'll be the last gay they never see.
--> You can stab them in the spine—not like they were using it anyway. Ambush tactics work the best, I find, especially against cocky young fighters drunk off the feeling of their own Aura.\\
If you land a good hit before they crank their Aura up, you'll be the last gay they never see.
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Chapter 13: Continuing where 12 left off, Rubi and Weiss' initial arguments bordering on CulturalPosturing.
--> '''Weiss:''' "What are you even ''doing'' here, anyway?! Aren't you a little ''young'' to be attending Beacon?!" \\
'''Rubi:''' "Are you not a little ''Atlésien'' to be attending Beacon?"
** This is promptly followed by Weiss very ''nearly'' calling Rubi a slur, then [[LastSecondWordSwap swiftly backpedaling]] when Blake shows up.
** Then, a cameo from two characters from ''Apocalypse State of Mind'', Tilly Primrose and Louve Hyacinth, speaking the local language. [[TakeThat Weiss' thoughts on the two]] [[OriginalCharacter OCs]]:
---> She'd heard that the Claihn'hari were colorful characters, but that one seemed like she was trying a little too hard with that ridiculous corsair ensemble of hers.
** In the stinger scene to that chapter, Cardin, having decided to leave Weiss alone because she was trans, like his brother, sees a distracted Blake who knows he's coming. Cue CurbStompBattle, where he's in the dirt before he can even blink. Then, there's a callback to the Act 1 Interlude.
--> It was on that day that Blake Belladonna was almost the last bisexual Cardin never saw coming.
--> '''Weiss:''' "What are you even ''doing'' here, anyway?! Aren't you a little ''young'' to be attending Beacon?!" \\
'''Rubi:''' "Are you not a little ''Atlésien'' to be attending Beacon?"
** This is promptly followed by Weiss very ''nearly'' calling Rubi a slur, then [[LastSecondWordSwap swiftly backpedaling]] when Blake shows up.
** Then, a cameo from two characters from ''Apocalypse State of Mind'', Tilly Primrose and Louve Hyacinth, speaking the local language. [[TakeThat Weiss' thoughts on the two]] [[OriginalCharacter OCs]]:
---> She'd heard that the Claihn'hari were colorful characters, but that one seemed like she was trying a little too hard with that ridiculous corsair ensemble of hers.
** In the stinger scene to that chapter, Cardin, having decided to leave Weiss alone because she was trans, like his brother, sees a distracted Blake who knows he's coming. Cue CurbStompBattle, where he's in the dirt before he can even blink. Then, there's a callback to the Act 1 Interlude.
--> It was on that day that Blake Belladonna was almost the last bisexual Cardin never saw coming.
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None
* Chapter 23, the actual duel between Sarah and May takes place. There's quite a few fleeting funny moments here.
** When Sarah discusses her earlier ''[[PowerIncontinence mishaps]]'' while trying to raise her Aura:
---> '''Sarah:''' I exploded. [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twice.]]
** May and Sarah engaging in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
---> '''Sarah:''' How about a tip?\\
'''May:''' I get paid by the hour.
** May demonstrating the concept of enervation. ''[[TrainingFromHell On]]'' Sarah.
---> '''May:''' Enervation is something you really need to experience for yourself.\\
'''Sarah:''' Think you just enjoy hurting me.\\
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' Maybe a little.
** When Sarah discusses her earlier ''[[PowerIncontinence mishaps]]'' while trying to raise her Aura:
---> '''Sarah:''' I exploded. [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Twice.]]
** May and Sarah engaging in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
---> '''Sarah:''' How about a tip?\\
'''May:''' I get paid by the hour.
** May demonstrating the concept of enervation. ''[[TrainingFromHell On]]'' Sarah.
---> '''May:''' Enervation is something you really need to experience for yourself.\\
'''Sarah:''' Think you just enjoy hurting me.\\
'''May:''' ''(Grinning.)'' Maybe a little.
Changed line(s) 85 (click to see context) from:
* In Chapter 4, the introduction to Louve's father, a fox faunus, and trhe reveal that his nickname for her is "Sledgehammer", along with the context for that nickname.
to:
* In Chapter 4, the introduction to Louve's father, a fox faunus, and trhe the reveal that his nickname for her is "Sledgehammer", along with the context for that nickname.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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* Chapter 5, in which Louve bumps into Pyrrha Nikos and has a little bit of a DistractedByTheSexy moment. Because of her height, the first thing she sees is Pyrrha's corset.
** Also in Chapter 5, an offhanded reference to Rubi Rose holding up the line for weapon registration because of ''Crescent Rose's'' overengineered design and multiple forms.
* Chapter 6, in which Louve gets distracted, [[AwesomenessByAnalysis trying to work out exactly how the spring-loaded launch mechanism she was standing on worked]] [[FailedASpotCheck instead of working out the more obvious fact that she was about to get catapulted]]. [[DieOrFly Cue said mechanism promptly launching her]].
** Also in Chapter 5, an offhanded reference to Rubi Rose holding up the line for weapon registration because of ''Crescent Rose's'' overengineered design and multiple forms.
* Chapter 6, in which Louve gets distracted, [[AwesomenessByAnalysis trying to work out exactly how the spring-loaded launch mechanism she was standing on worked]] [[FailedASpotCheck instead of working out the more obvious fact that she was about to get catapulted]]. [[DieOrFly Cue said mechanism promptly launching her]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 77 (click to see context) from:
* Despite being a somewhat bleak introduction to the world that Louve dreams about, there's a passing moment where Shaw demonstrates his DeadpanSnarker chops.
to:
* Despite Chapter 2, where the desk officer giving Louve her equipment back, following her arrest, mentions a number of random NoodleImplements that Louve happened to be carrying when she was arrested.
--> '''Desk Officer:''' "Hang on, aren't Huntresses supposed to carry, y'know, more destructive stuff?"
** Also in Chapter 2, Louve telling her mother a tall tale about how she conquered Tilly, saying that Ozpin was somehow there... followed by her mother immediately revealing she knows the real story already.
* In Chapter 3, despite being a somewhat bleak introduction to the world that Louve dreams about, there's a passing moment where Shaw demonstrates his DeadpanSnarker chops.
--> '''Desk Officer:''' "Hang on, aren't Huntresses supposed to carry, y'know, more destructive stuff?"
** Also in Chapter 2, Louve telling her mother a tall tale about how she conquered Tilly, saying that Ozpin was somehow there... followed by her mother immediately revealing she knows the real story already.
* In Chapter 3, despite being a somewhat bleak introduction to the world that Louve dreams about, there's a passing moment where Shaw demonstrates his DeadpanSnarker chops.
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* In Chapter 4, the introduction to Louve's father, a fox faunus, and trhe reveal that his nickname for her is "Sledgehammer", along with the context for that nickname.
--> Before she mastered building things, she first had to master fixing them, and before she mastered fixing things, she had to master taking them apart.\\
It took her a while to figure out the 'fixing' and the 'putting back together' bit.
--> Before she mastered building things, she first had to master fixing them, and before she mastered fixing things, she had to master taking them apart.\\
It took her a while to figure out the 'fixing' and the 'putting back together' bit.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Before the Whims of Fate]]
* Firstly, after some chapters are noncanonical 'Joke Endings' usually with memes or obscure references. Chapter 2 references [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Rick and Morty]], for example.
* Chapter 9:
** In the scene where Glynda rescues Ruby Rose in canon, Ruby insteads uses her ''Crescent Rose'' like a cricket bat (for Americans, ''explicitly'' a cricket bat) and batting the fire crystal away from her.
** A FreezeFrameBonus at that moment hangs a [[LampshadeHanging lampshade]] on how silly it is:
---> (???): [[spoiler:IMPROBABLE ACTION DETECTED]]
** The reveal that [[spoiler:the new form of Ozpin]] is essentially a {{Troll}}, and that his Scroll contact for Glynda is "Goodbytch (change this later)"
---> 'I'll change that picture and name over my dead body', he often would say to himself, chuckling as he stirred more schnapps into his hot cocoa.
* Chapter 12: The entire chapter is snarky and tongue-in-cheek, and there's quite a few funny moments. In the very first scene, the author breaks the fourth wall entirely, which really sets up the tone of the rest of the chapter.
--> If you are in a relationship and have not made love with or at the very least embraced your partner in some time, I recommend you to put down this sarcastic, chaotic madhouse of a fanfiction that I've put far too much work and thought into and go remedy that.
** Also in chapter 12, the reveal that the real name of Ruby's weapon in this AU is ''La Rose Croissante'', coupled with a nod to the fact that most Americans associate the world with crescent rolls.
** Rubi's first encounter with Weiss, resulting in Rubi commenting on how beautiful she is. [[GratuitousFrench In Valois.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:While We Fall]]
* From Chapter 2, Sarah and Pietro discussing what she did for work in her old world.
--> '''Pietro:''' So, you seem to know a lot about firearms, young miss. Were you a warrior in your other world?\\
'''Sarah:''' Haha, no. Not exactly. I was a technician. A, uh, shall we say, mechanical type.\\
'''Pietro:''' You were a mechanic?\\
'''Sarah:''' Yeah, but I did some electronics work too. Little bit of engineering and fabrication, though that was more of a hobby than anything else. My day job is- was an industrial robotics technician.\\
''[{{Beat}}]''\\
'''Sarah:''' ''[Resigned]'' Yeah, I was a mechanic.
* Chapter 6, when Sarah goes full MotorMouth mode when she starts to gush about what she learned about Remnant to Pietro. In the opening of Chapter 7, the {{Adorkable}}-ness continues, and in the same conversation, she comes out to Pietro as bisexual.
* Chapter 7, when Pietro and Sarah are about to be picked up by a Bullhead.
--> '''Pietro:''' ''[Nods and Crosses his arms.]'' Gravity dust is quite a miraculous thing.\\
'''Sarah:''' ''(Cynically)'' Albeit expensive.\\
''[Beat]''\\
'''Pietro:''' Hit the economics section too, eh?\\
* Chapter 12, when talking about Pietro's status as an OmnidisciplinaryScientist.
-->'''Pietro:''' Cyberneticist? My dear girl, I'm a man of many talents. A veritable polymath!\\
''[Beat]''\\
'''Pietro:''' [[{{Theatre/Hamilton}} And some would say a massive pain.]]\\
* In Chapter 13, Sarah meets Robyn Hill for the first time, and she's immediately DistractedByTheSexy.
* Chapter 14, about why Robyn's hiding out in a random shack in the craterside slums:
-->'''Robyn:''' There's some people, high-ranking corporate ''tools'', up in Atlas who want me dead for speaking out when I shouldn't have.\\
'''Robyn:''' You ask me, though, I think at least one's just mad about me stealing their matrimonial beds from 'em!\\
** Also in Chapter 14, [[HopelessWithTech Sarah fumbling with her new Scroll and almost breaking it.]]
* Chapter 15, when Sarah meets her interviewer, Frank Fieri.
--> '''Sarah:''' I bet you'd be a ''great'' food critic if this whole immigration officer thing doesn't pan out.\\
* Chapter 16, Sarah's second conversation with Au.R.A., where they engage in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
--> '''Au.R.A.:''' You arrived in the afternoon on June third.\\
'''Sarah:''' Fourteen days ago.\\
'''Au.R.A.''' I see we have a basic grasp of arithmetic.\\
'''Sarah:''' Watch the sass, chips-for-brains.\\
* Chapter 17, Sarah gets her gun back from John Silver, after it's converted to use Remnant ammo.
--> '''John:''' It was a pleasure to work on your gun, very—very strange. Silver eye was a little confused. Markings and manufacture—where is from?\\
'''Sarah:''' [[SarcasticConfession It's an alien blaster from another planet.]]\\
** Also in that chapter, the ending narration.
---> '''Present!Sarah:''' A sick training montage where I take a few dozen levels in badass and awesome? Maybe a trainer with quirky and bizarre methods that end up working, against all odds?\\
'''Present!Sarah:''' This is totally gonna be the fun part of my story.\\
'''Future!Sarah:''' This was '''not''' the fun part of my story.\\
* Chapter 21, when Sarah and Pietro are discussing her Aura Strength.
--> '''Pietro:''' Medical Aurometer, box on the shelf marked 'Kitchen Stuff', will you?\\
'''Sarah:''' Kitchen stuff?\\
'''Pietro:''' Recyclin's important.\\
* Chapter 22, where Robyn shows up first, and then midway through her conversation with Sarah, she reveals that she was just chatting Sarah up to distract her. [[AmusingInjuries Cue May turning visible and tripping her with her staff.]]
** While some of the flashbacks in this chapter are bleak and depressing, there's an offhanded moment where Sarah's eating '[[BizarreTasteInFood ice cream and pickles]]', and this isn't elaborated on. Probably for the best.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Apocalypse State of Mind]]
* Despite being a somewhat bleak introduction to the world that Louve dreams about, there's a passing moment where Shaw demonstrates his DeadpanSnarker chops.
--> '''Taggart:''' ''(Slams a folder of evidence on Shaw's desk)'' Did you know about this?\\
'''Shaw:''' I don't know how to tell you this, but folders aren't exactly a new invention.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Before the Whims of Fate]]
* Firstly, after some chapters are noncanonical 'Joke Endings' usually with memes or obscure references. Chapter 2 references [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Rick and Morty]], for example.
* Chapter 9:
** In the scene where Glynda rescues Ruby Rose in canon, Ruby insteads uses her ''Crescent Rose'' like a cricket bat (for Americans, ''explicitly'' a cricket bat) and batting the fire crystal away from her.
** A FreezeFrameBonus at that moment hangs a [[LampshadeHanging lampshade]] on how silly it is:
---> (???): [[spoiler:IMPROBABLE ACTION DETECTED]]
** The reveal that [[spoiler:the new form of Ozpin]] is essentially a {{Troll}}, and that his Scroll contact for Glynda is "Goodbytch (change this later)"
---> 'I'll change that picture and name over my dead body', he often would say to himself, chuckling as he stirred more schnapps into his hot cocoa.
* Chapter 12: The entire chapter is snarky and tongue-in-cheek, and there's quite a few funny moments. In the very first scene, the author breaks the fourth wall entirely, which really sets up the tone of the rest of the chapter.
--> If you are in a relationship and have not made love with or at the very least embraced your partner in some time, I recommend you to put down this sarcastic, chaotic madhouse of a fanfiction that I've put far too much work and thought into and go remedy that.
** Also in chapter 12, the reveal that the real name of Ruby's weapon in this AU is ''La Rose Croissante'', coupled with a nod to the fact that most Americans associate the world with crescent rolls.
** Rubi's first encounter with Weiss, resulting in Rubi commenting on how beautiful she is. [[GratuitousFrench In Valois.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:While We Fall]]
* From Chapter 2, Sarah and Pietro discussing what she did for work in her old world.
--> '''Pietro:''' So, you seem to know a lot about firearms, young miss. Were you a warrior in your other world?\\
'''Sarah:''' Haha, no. Not exactly. I was a technician. A, uh, shall we say, mechanical type.\\
'''Pietro:''' You were a mechanic?\\
'''Sarah:''' Yeah, but I did some electronics work too. Little bit of engineering and fabrication, though that was more of a hobby than anything else. My day job is- was an industrial robotics technician.\\
''[{{Beat}}]''\\
'''Sarah:''' ''[Resigned]'' Yeah, I was a mechanic.
* Chapter 6, when Sarah goes full MotorMouth mode when she starts to gush about what she learned about Remnant to Pietro. In the opening of Chapter 7, the {{Adorkable}}-ness continues, and in the same conversation, she comes out to Pietro as bisexual.
* Chapter 7, when Pietro and Sarah are about to be picked up by a Bullhead.
--> '''Pietro:''' ''[Nods and Crosses his arms.]'' Gravity dust is quite a miraculous thing.\\
'''Sarah:''' ''(Cynically)'' Albeit expensive.\\
''[Beat]''\\
'''Pietro:''' Hit the economics section too, eh?\\
* Chapter 12, when talking about Pietro's status as an OmnidisciplinaryScientist.
-->'''Pietro:''' Cyberneticist? My dear girl, I'm a man of many talents. A veritable polymath!\\
''[Beat]''\\
'''Pietro:''' [[{{Theatre/Hamilton}} And some would say a massive pain.]]\\
* In Chapter 13, Sarah meets Robyn Hill for the first time, and she's immediately DistractedByTheSexy.
* Chapter 14, about why Robyn's hiding out in a random shack in the craterside slums:
-->'''Robyn:''' There's some people, high-ranking corporate ''tools'', up in Atlas who want me dead for speaking out when I shouldn't have.\\
'''Robyn:''' You ask me, though, I think at least one's just mad about me stealing their matrimonial beds from 'em!\\
** Also in Chapter 14, [[HopelessWithTech Sarah fumbling with her new Scroll and almost breaking it.]]
* Chapter 15, when Sarah meets her interviewer, Frank Fieri.
--> '''Sarah:''' I bet you'd be a ''great'' food critic if this whole immigration officer thing doesn't pan out.\\
* Chapter 16, Sarah's second conversation with Au.R.A., where they engage in SnarkToSnarkCombat.
--> '''Au.R.A.:''' You arrived in the afternoon on June third.\\
'''Sarah:''' Fourteen days ago.\\
'''Au.R.A.''' I see we have a basic grasp of arithmetic.\\
'''Sarah:''' Watch the sass, chips-for-brains.\\
* Chapter 17, Sarah gets her gun back from John Silver, after it's converted to use Remnant ammo.
--> '''John:''' It was a pleasure to work on your gun, very—very strange. Silver eye was a little confused. Markings and manufacture—where is from?\\
'''Sarah:''' [[SarcasticConfession It's an alien blaster from another planet.]]\\
** Also in that chapter, the ending narration.
---> '''Present!Sarah:''' A sick training montage where I take a few dozen levels in badass and awesome? Maybe a trainer with quirky and bizarre methods that end up working, against all odds?\\
'''Present!Sarah:''' This is totally gonna be the fun part of my story.\\
'''Future!Sarah:''' This was '''not''' the fun part of my story.\\
* Chapter 21, when Sarah and Pietro are discussing her Aura Strength.
--> '''Pietro:''' Medical Aurometer, box on the shelf marked 'Kitchen Stuff', will you?\\
'''Sarah:''' Kitchen stuff?\\
'''Pietro:''' Recyclin's important.\\
* Chapter 22, where Robyn shows up first, and then midway through her conversation with Sarah, she reveals that she was just chatting Sarah up to distract her. [[AmusingInjuries Cue May turning visible and tripping her with her staff.]]
** While some of the flashbacks in this chapter are bleak and depressing, there's an offhanded moment where Sarah's eating '[[BizarreTasteInFood ice cream and pickles]]', and this isn't elaborated on. Probably for the best.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Apocalypse State of Mind]]
* Despite being a somewhat bleak introduction to the world that Louve dreams about, there's a passing moment where Shaw demonstrates his DeadpanSnarker chops.
--> '''Taggart:''' ''(Slams a folder of evidence on Shaw's desk)'' Did you know about this?\\
'''Shaw:''' I don't know how to tell you this, but folders aren't exactly a new invention.
[[/folder]]
