History Funny / ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents2017

* A woman from the Village of Fowl Devotees says that she though Count Olaf was dead, to which Mr. Poe replies "You can't believe anything you read in ''The Daily Punctilio.'' I don't know who writes that hogwash!"

-->'''Person of Indeterminate Gender:''' ... they killed those freaks, right?\\

*** It was not a phase.

--> '''Carmelita:''' Is Countie not my daddy anymore?
--> '''Esmé:''' He's not mine either, pet!

* Olaf's impersonation of Jacques Snicket, "a pompous do-gooder [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial who is definitely not dead]]." His exasperation with Mr. Poe during the conversation is also funny, particularly when Mr. Poe asks if Olaf/Jacques knows what he discovered in his research and Olaf replies "That you should get out more?"
* A disguised Olaf claims to be great with kids, saying that [[ThatCameOutWrong "Frankly it's disturbing how much I love children."]]
* Babs mentions the events of "The Hostile Hospital" two-parter and is more upset over having her clipboard stolen than the hospital burning down.

-->'''Olaf:''' I don' think it works that way.

* Babs mentions the events of "The Hostile Hospital" two-parter and is more upset over having her clipboard stolen than ''The hospital being burned down.''

-->'''Count Olaf:''' [[DeadpanSnarker ...Sometimes I wonder about you two.]]

* Count Olaf addresses the spectators in the operating theatre:

* Snicket talks about how when you read something that doesn't seem useful now, it can suddenly show itself during situations like a strike of lightning or a falling piano. Cue both of those things happening after he says them.

* During the operation:
-->'''Operation Theater Audience:''' (frenzied chanting) Do it! Do it!\\
'''Hook-handed man:''' (does a dance)

* Count Olaf brooding about the Man With A Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard.
-->'''Count Olaf:''' They're not the boss of me.

** To which Count Olaf yells "My fortune!"
-->'''Count Olaf:''' I've never been so happy to see you brats alive!

-->'''Count Olaf:''' [[LampshadeHanging When did you change? We boarded the sub, like, right away]].

-->'''Count Olaf:''' It's the Baudelaires, love.\\

* When Count Olaf asks who's the captain of the Queequeg, Violet quickly claims the position.

'''Count Olaf:''' Uh, you were a captain not five minutes ago, love.\\

* Violet yells out "Sea monster!" as a distraction. Count Olaf actually falls for it, looking behind him, meanwhile Esmé think that Violet is talking about ''her.''

* In the middle of Count Olaf's dramatic villain speech to the Baudelaires, Esmé's costume gets stuck. Olaf continues despite her.

* Count Olaf is captured by one of the hotel managers at the beginning of the episode. When that man is thanked and referred to as Frank, Olaf smugly announces that actually it's Ernest and is prepared to turn the tables, only for the Denouement Brother to tell Olaf that he actually is Frank, meaning Olaf actually is a prisoner, leaving him sour.

* Olaf's general reaction any time he's around Poe while he's coughing.

* It's clear that the rest of Olaf's troupe can't stand Esmé, and are always in various states of irritation or boredom as she blathers on about herself.

* Just the sheer fact that Olaf's disguises and backstories get more and more obviously fake as time goes on. One of the things he's asked about as Gunther is, apparently, his "good looks and brains and accent"... two of which he doesn't have and one that's passable at best!

-->'''Olaf:''' [[LateToTheRealization Oh]]!

-->'''Olaf:''' Do you know what this is?\\

'''Olaf:''' [[DistinctionWithoutADifference WRONG! It's a list.]]

--> ''Olaf'' (singing): N is for the knowledge, because I'm very, very smart!

* As Olaf starts his scheme:

** At one point, Count Olaf shows Mr. Poe a map with his house labelled as "My House."

-->'''Olaf:''' I guarantee that's what they meant or my name's not whatever I told you it was a moment ago.

** Olaf and Jacquelyn meet in Poe's office. It's rather funny as Olaf knows Jacquelyn knows who he is and Jacquelyn knows Olaf knows that she knows who he is.
* Olaf's proclamation to the Baudelaire children that they'll be helping him with his new play.

* The only word that Olaf can find that rhymes with his name is "rice pilaf," a reference to Isadora Quagmire's poem about him in the fifth book.

* In retrospect, or at present for viewers who have read the books, it is humorous that Olaf needs to look up the definition of "nuptial," considering he's concocted a scheme that revolves around marrying Violet.

'''Olaf:''' Seize the children!\\

'''Olaf:''' I said day. ''[exits]''
* The Hook-Handed Man presents Olaf three cakes with different flavors of icing.

'''Olaf''': I told you never to say that word.

* After getting caught trying to rescue Sunny from the tower, Olaf locks the Baudelaires in a room with an hourglass saying that their fortune will be his when the sand runs out...only to pop back up through the trapdoor moments later to see that the hourglass is already empty.
-->'''Olaf:''' I didn't realize the sand went so quickly; I bought it online. You're gonna need to flip it a couple of times.
* The Hook-Handed Man tries to be cool by ending a phone call with "over and out," but Olaf doesn't get it. Made even better by how [[NewhartPhonecall we only get to see his side of the conversation, Bob Newhart style,]] with Olaf just ''barely'' being audible.
* When Violet is caught by the Hook-Handed Man trying to rescue Sunny, he radios Olaf, and explains that she climbed up to the tower with an apparent grappling hook. Olaf's reaction that we hear is... understandable.
-->'''Olaf:''' Where did she get a ''grappling hook''?!

* Olaf has no idea how to use the words "figuratively" and "literally," with several other characters going out of their way to use them correctly.
* Olaf modelling the bride's dress.
* When Olaf asks the Powdered-Faced Women's opinions on using "baby's breath," they mistake it as meaning he's going to marry Sunny.

* Gustav and Jacquelyn preparing to intervene in Olaf's plot, using their telescopes as clubs if needed by the looks of it.

* Olaf says he prefers long-form television to movies, with a ''very'' pointed AsideGlance.

-->'''Olaf''' (''annoyed'') Yes, a movie. theatre. Where. they show. movies. Yes, of course it’s more convenient to watch from the comfort of your own home but I didn’t ask for your opinion!

-->'''Olaf:''' Terrible ending. The villagers should have all been eaten, like in ''Film/CitizenKane''.

'''Olaf''': My name is not...aaaaaaaaaaanything but Stephano.

* The powdered faced women's responses when Olaf finds them tied up after their plan to kidnap Monty fails.

* Even ''Olaf'' is taken by surprise that Monty knows he's a fake, but ''not'' that he's Olaf.

-->'''Olaf:''' What? I don't know anything about mouth sores.
* Olaf begins a running gag and gets '''''very''''' annoyed when Monty says he is a bad actor.

'''Olaf:''' ''[pulls a knife]'' Well good luck with that. I'm armed.\\
'''Jacquelyn:''' ''[pulls a meat cleaver]'' So am I.\\
'''Olaf:''' ''[pulls a machete]'' [[ExtendedDisarming Child's play]].\\
'''Jacquelyn:''' ''[pulls a harpoon gun]'' Adorable.\\
'''Olaf:''' ''[surprised]'' Is that a harpoon gun?
* How does Olaf get Jacquelyn to look away?
--> '''Olaf:''' You wouldn't squash a spider.\\
'''Jacquelyn:''' (''Threateningly'') I ''like'' spiders.\\

* Poe, Olaf, the Person of Indeterminate Gender, and the children are trying to decide who goes with the nurse to examine the body and who stays outside. When Violet suggests Olaf goes in with his hench-person and Poe stays with the children, we get this gem delivered in a calm manner.

'''Sunny:''' <... you're nuts.>

* This exchange between the Powder-Faced Women:
-->'''Powder-Faced Woman 1:''' Land ho!\\
'''Powder-Faced Woman 2:''' I told you to stop calling me that!
* '''"AHOY! A HAIRLESS PYGMY!"'''
-->'''Klaus:''' She is a baby and you know that!\\
'''Olaf-as-Captain Sham:''' We'll discuss what sort of pygmy she is later. In the meantime, the adults...have a date.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXLYRF4sD9E The flashback to Aunt Josephine and "Captain Sham" meeting]] is pretty humorous-from the way the vendors hawk their merchandise ("Fish heads! Fish heads! Roly-poly fish heads!") to Olaf and his troupe engaging in BlatantLies about who he is and what he's like and how readily Aunt Josephine falls for it.

* Olaf's reaction to the hole in the titular wide window is... novel.
-->'''Olaf''': (blank stare at the person-shaped hole) Well... that worked out. (lights his pipe)

* When Violet and Klaus attempt to make a signal, Klaus mentions "when horrible people use a magnifying glass to burn ants" when , and Josephine mentions that Olaf used to do that.

* Morbid -- but still funny. Olaf doesn't push Aunt Josephine off the boat. He pokes her -- a poke which any normal person could easily not fall off a boat from. She still... well... gets eaten.
* In the same scene - the running gag continues as Josephine describes Olaf as "a vastly untalented actor" and he gives a '''''very''''' bad fake gasp.

* Doctor Orwell is... less than happy with Olaf. Her first appearance has her throwing darts at a dartboard... ''with his face on it!'' Given that he left her to ''drown'', we can't say we blame her.

** The conversation implies that Olaf ''has actually left more than one person to drown'' and ''genuinely'' cannot remember whether he did it to her.

'''Charles:''' Okay. (''closes door'')

-->'''Dr. Orwell:''' Just like your parents, they were shortsighted too, with their "You can't hypnotise people", and "what about free will?" and "we're going to kick you out and get your license revoked, ''(getting increasingly teared up)'' and if we ever have children, we're never going to let you anywhere near them!"

-->'''Olaf:''' How do people run in these things?

* Nero telling Sunny what to type, and then yelling at her for "typing like a one-year old".

* Olaf's exasperation with the slim pickings he and the troupe find in their stolen schoolbus (namely, a coach's outfit, cheerleader outfits, and two halves of a dead horse costume). Making it even bizarrer, ''all'' of these things end up playing a part in his scheme anyway.
* Olaf mentions he got kicked out of Prufrock Prep after a semester and a half, and is ''deeply'' offended when the Hook-Handed Man suggests that the school may not remember him.
* When Olaf first meets the Quagmires, he gets a good chunk of the way into his EvilGloating speech before he realizes ''they're not the Baudelaires''.

* Olaf and Carmelita's double-act. Evil they may be, but they play off each other well.
* This bit, when Larry discovers Olaf and Carmelita are working together, and Carmelita proves herself to be a nuisance.
-->'''Olaf:''' [[NeverWorkWithChildrenOrAnimals Working with kids, right?]]\\

* When Olaf, disguised as Coach Genghis, had finished explaining the Special Orphan Running Exercises, he tells Nero that it's almost time for his violin recital.

'''Olaf:''' Don't say that in front of the children.

-->'''Olaf:''' ''[looks off in the direction of the Hook Handed Man, who is hiding under some tarps]''\\

'''Olaf:''' Reconstruc-it-is-aism....yes, that.

* After a night of the Special Orphan Running Exercises (literally, just Olaf forcing the Baudelaires to jog in a circle), the next few scenes show all the children sleeping in undignified ways: Violent and Klaus snoring with their heads hanging back, Sunny with her face planted in the typewriter in Nero's office.

* Olaf's "I do not approve of small child browsing penthouse."

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_UydJp6Apk Olaf taking the group to Herring Houdini]], [[BlatantLies a completely legitimate business with no secret agenda behind it whatsoever]]. The troupe act out their spiel in the most bored way possible.

--->'''Esmé:''' Vodka in a martini. ''[Hook-Handed Man nods]'' Are we living in ''garbage''? ''[leaves in disgust, followed by Jerome and the Baudelaires. Olaf looks at the troupe with annoyance for their inability to win over the Squalors]''\\
'''Both Powdered-Face Women:''' ''[in unison]'' [[PrecisionFStrike Isn't this a fine kettle of fish!]]

** Every time he says the world "salmon" (read: ''a lot''), he makes sure to pause and overemphasize it directly into Olaf's ear, [[{{Troll}} for no reason other than to piss him off.]] With everything Larry's gone through at Olaf's hands, this is both hilarious ''and'' satisfying. He also deliberately mispronounces the word (the 'L' is actually silent) to further drive home this point.
* The diners flee to Olaf's restaurant when it is suddenly declared the next "in" thing in the newspapers. Klaus warns Jerome not to eat any of the fish there.

* Sunny, Klaus and Violet hiding in the salmon statue and slowly creep out of the restaurant once Olaf left.

* Olaf tells his troupe to shut down the restaurant when the Baudelaires fail to show up, much to the troupes' protests.

* Olaf performing a song and dance number at the behest of the patrons (as well as Larry and Jacquelyn) for "Secretary Day".
** Even Esmé (who is actively assisting Olaf with his schemes) encourages this performance.

* Esmé and Olaf's plans are going off without a hitch. They've drugged Jerome unconscious, they've pushed the Baudelaires down an elevator shaft, and the Quagmires are on their way out of the city. So what do they do? Celebrate with a ridiculous victory dance.

--> '''Olaf:''' I'm tired of existential crises and [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall the over abundance of hard-covered books.]][[note]]The initial printings of the original book series ''were'' hardcovers.[[/note]]

* Olaf telling the group not to look because someone is following them. The entire troupe turn around to look in the back of the car window.

* When Jacques catches Olaf in the bar, he leaps over the counter to face him. Olaf tries to do the same but falls flat on his face.
* Olaf over dramatically wailing in his cell that he was about to die. Cut to Jacques crossing his arms and muttering, "It's been eight minutes. Do you want some tea?" Olaf's response? "No, you always make it too bitter."
* Olaf interrupting Jacques by scatting.

* Olaf grabs the tusk of a hog and throws it at Jacques who dodges the horn as it embeds itself into a dartboard.

* "Detective Dupin" describes how the Baudelaires "murdered Count Olaf" in the form of a poetry slam. And everybody snaps their fingers in applause at the end.
** He then announces Sunny Baudelaire as [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "the murderer who murdered Count Olaf by murder".]]

* Olaf tries to fit the tray containing the stale bread and water through the bars but it won't go through. Klaus tries to suggest Olaf take the items off the tray and put them through the bars, but Olaf continues trying to push the tray through. He eventually puts the items individually through the bars.
* Olaf threatens the children and says that no one will even come to visit, cut to Hector asking if it was still visiting hours.

* The council calls for the police, to Olaf and his henchman's confusion.

-->'''Olaf:''' Why can't we just hand her back to her real parents?\\

** When the Snow Scouts start panicking and Esmé orders them not to abandon ship, Violet shouts "She said abandon ship!", causing them to freak out and flee.

* When Violet sabotages a pipe, it makes an awful screech, Esmé passes it off as Carmelita's singing voice. As the screech was extremely loud and protracted and Esmé definitely heard it, it's likely that she literally mistook the horrible screech for her adopted daughter's terrible singing.

-->'''Esmé:''' Carmalita is the most talented dancer in the universe. When you see her dance, your eyes will bleed with gratitude until it all clots up and you get an eye infection.

'''Klaus:''' He did not expel us!

* When Violet sabotages a pipe, it makes an awful screech, Esmé passes it off as Carmelita's "extremely pleasant" singing voice. As the screech was extremely loud and protracted and Esmé definitely heard it, it's likely that mistook the horrible screech for her adopted daughter's terrible singing.

[[AC:Episode 1 - The Bad Beginning: Part One]]

[[AC:Episode 2 - The Bad Beginning: Part Two]]

[[AC:Episode 3 - The Reptile Room: Part One]]

[[AC:Episode 4 - The Reptile Room: Part Two]]

[[AC:Episode 5 - The Wide Window: Part One]]

** "I'm talking to myself about Captain Sham!"

'''Olaf:''' ...enjoying some pasta puttanesca...\\

'''Olaf:''' ...when I spilled some on my leg!\\

'''Olaf:''' ...but my right leg was not strong enough-\\

'''Olaf:''' My right leg was not strong enough to rescue my left leg.

'''Aunt Josephine:''' Really?\\
'''Olaf:''' Okay! Yes!\\
'''Aunt Josephine:''' The world is so terrifying!\\
'''Olaf:''' It is? It is! Just like the rough and tumultuous sea!\\
'''Person of Indeterminate Gender:''' Lake.\\
'''Olaf:''' Lake...

[[AC:Episode 6 - The Wide Window: Part Two]]

[[AC:Episode 7 - The Miserable Mill: Part One]]

[[AC:Episode 8 - The Miserable Mill: Part Two]]

[[AC:Episode 9 - The Austere Academy Part One]]

[[AC:Episode 10 - The Austere Academy Part Two]]

[[AC: Episode 11- The Ersatz Elevator, Part 1]]

[[AC: Episode 12 - The Ersatz Elevator, Part 2]]

[[AC:Episode 13- The Vile Village Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 14- The Vile Village Part 2]]

[[AC: Episode 15- The Hostile Hospital Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 16 - The Hostile Hospital Part 2]]

[[AC: Episode 17- The Carnivorous Carnival Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 18 - The Carnivorous Carnival Part 2]]

[[AC:Episode 19 - The Slippery Slope Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 20 - The Slippery Slope Part 2]]

[[AC:Episode 21 - The Grim Grotto Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 22 - The Grim Grotto Part 2]]

[[AC:Episode 23 - The Penultimate Peril Part 1]]

[[AC:Episode 24 - The Penultimate Peril Part 2]]

[[AC:Episode 25 - The End]]

-->'''Esmé:'' How dare you call me that! I'll show you a sea monster!

'''Esmé:''' (emphatically) ''I am a woman.''

'''Olaf:''' "Sorry, boss". What's that supposed to mean?\\

* Count Olaf holds up a pamphlet for Calagari Carnival that advertises Madame Lulu. At the bottom it says "Definitely not a scam!"

-->'''Esmé:''' You can't shout at me, I don't work for you.\\
'''Olaf:''' I don't pay them, either!

* Meanwhile, Klaus is trying to stall the operation. When asked why he can’t preform the procedure, he says "paperwork!" [[{{Gasp}} Gasping ensues.]]

-->'''Violet''': Try not to think about falling.
-->'''Klaus''': [[TheCynic It is impossible to think about anything else.]]

-->'''Violet:''' That...[[SarcasmFailure that can't honestly be your pledge.]]\\
'''Klaus:''' How can anyone be 'xylophone'? It's...not an adjective!

'''Olaf:''' ... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Could use a polish.]]

--> '''Olaf:''' Lady and Gentleman. Prepare for a tale so horrifying it will make [[ThatCameOutWrong the hair on your head stand straight up.]] ''(looks at the Woman with Hair but No Beard, and realises what he said)'' [[VerbalBackspace Ohh, noo. Uhh]], [[DiggingYourselfDeeper fall right off]]. ''(look at the Man with a Beard but No Hair)'' Ooh.

'''Olaf:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...no, I’m pretty sure]] [[LiteralMinded it’s money.]]

* As the Baudelaires and Quigley tumble down the frozen waterfall on a sledge, Klaus, Quigley and Violet are screaming in utter terror. Sunny? Sunny just has a "Hey, wha'd'ya know? My plan ''worked!''" expression on her face.

'''Olaf:''' —my handsome daughter—\\

'''Olaf:''' —and a distant cousin, ''who is dead to me''.\\

'''Sunny: ''' Me too.

--> '''Esmé:''' He's not mine either, pet.

* A disguised Olaf claims to be great with kids, saying that [[ThatCameOutWrong "frankly it's disturbing how much I love children."]]
* Babs mentions the events of "The Hostile Hospital" two-parter and is more upset over having her clipboard stolen than ''the hospital being burned down.''

-->'''Sunny: ''' Burn down hotel...\\

'''Klaus: ''' She said "Burn down hotel".\\

'''Justice Strauss:''' Count Olaf "is" here. There really is a fire. You have to leave.\\

'''Mr. Poe:''' [[IronicEcho Its like the blind leading the blind]].\\
''Mr. Poe grabs the elephant statues trunk as the elevator doors start closing.''\\
'''Mr. Poe:''' I've got you sir.
** Justice Strauss shouts at the Woman with Hair but No Beard and Man with a Beard but No Hair that they are "a disgrace to the legal profession." Olaf, who is in the elevator with her, ''does not stop her'' implying that he thinks she's right and that the two are, in fact, disgraces to the legal profession even by ''his'' villainous standards.

-->'''Olaf:''' (''pointing'') No, [[BrickJoke I meant that figuratively.]]\\

-->'''Count Olaf:''' [[DeadpanSnarker ...sometimes I wonder about you two.]]

* Olaf runs into Klaus, posing as [[Theatre/DoctorFaustus Dr. Faustus]] and when asked where he went to medical school, Klaus answers "Oxford".